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RETORTS 2004-07 (July)

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trevor raineri writes...

isn't there some way to make gargoyles big again

Greg responds...

When did they get small?

(I feel an ancient Steve Martin joke coming on...)

Response recorded on July 16, 2004

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Starrynight writes...

Hello Mr. Weisman,
I am writing in relation to a thought I had about Gargoyle culture and society after taking a Anthropolgy class this summer. The earliest human civilzations such as the Maya and the Egyptians built large buildings and monuments out of stone.
1. Did gargoyles ever built any kind of stone buildings or sheltors besides their rookeries by excavating caves?

2.If gargoyles did in some form hue stone to make a monument. Would it have possibly have been for there unique god which you have alluded to before?

2. Early weapon making among humans began with one of man's earlies ancestors Australopithecus. Like chimpanzes today they used tools to get food. They used stones to break open roots. The techinques of more advanced tools like arrow heads and flint knives did not begin until the next human ancestor arrived called Homo erectus. Did gargoyles ever develope any kind of weapon making or use of objects such as rocks to better inable themselves with technology in order to survive in harsh enviornmental conditions?

Greg responds...

1. Rarely. They required less protection from the elements, which is one of the major motivators to inventing "shelter".

2. No. There animistic/monotheistic faith required no monuments, as the gods/God was everywhere in everything.

Second 2. Again, generally not necessary. Gargoyles were, until humans invented tools, at the top of the food chain.

Response recorded on July 15, 2004

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Gemini_Bloodian writes...

Sadly,Even though Ive watched almost every episode I keep forgeting.Who was Goliath's second in command after Demonia?I mean I eventually find it oout hten I forget it.

Greg responds...

Goliath had no official second-in-command between the massacre and the episode "Upgrade". (One could argue that Hudson acted as his second in an unofficial capacity.) In Upgrade, Goliath chose Brooklyn as his second.

Response recorded on July 15, 2004

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Joe_Man500 writes...

I've noticed that a number of questions have been answered "I'm not saying" and such. My question is: If Gargoyles has little to no chance of coming back (that's the feeling I got from the archives) then why all the secrecy?

Greg responds...

Because, slim though it may feel at times, I believe deep-down that at some point in some medium, I will get a chance to do the series again -- or at least stories set in the "Gargoyles Universe".

Response recorded on July 14, 2004

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Todd Jensen writes...

My thoughts on "Monsters":

I agree with you on the animation issue (although I never noticed the parallels with "Heritage" prior to your mentioning of them), but I will admit that I thought the episode a rather fun one (if not one of the greats). Part of it, I suppose, is my fondness for British settings. (In fact, I visited Loch Ness with my parents briefly as a boy, back when we lived in Britain; didn't see anything unusual in its waters, though).

I did find it appropriate that the gargoyles would encounter the Loch Ness Monster at some point. After all, the gargoyles are Scottish "monsters" - and who's the most famous monster in all of Scotland? Made the same amount of sense as Macbeth getting in earlier, and for a similar reason.

Alas for Brendan and Margot! They run into the gargoyles even while they're on vacation! (Come to think of it, Margot also pops up briefly in Paris in "Sanctuary").

Got to agree with you over Sevarius's over-the-top performance; always a lot of fun to hear.

Count me as another one of the people who mistook Nessie for Big Daddy's daughter (partly because of the Goliath-Angela parallel).

I definitely recalled Matt's answering machine scene: either the guy doesn't clear out his phone very often, or he gets a lot of calls. At least Goliath and Elisa finally get a message home via Renard in the very next episode.

Sevarius's speculations over the Loch Ness clan (more accurate than he thought, after all) certainly become even more interesting in the aftermath of the Clans Contest (and like you, I can't help but wonder now where the local gargoyles were during this episode). We also definitely find out that Angela is Goliath's daughter (although I doubt that that surprised anybody in the audience).

I wonder if that ruined castle over Sevarius's headquarters was based on the real-life Castle Urquhart, at Loch Ness. (Probably is).

And, as you pointed out, that marked the end of the Xanatos Goon Squad, except for Bruno (and I don't recall ever seeing him again, either, after this episode); although I'll admit that I never realized that they were dead at the time. If I had, no doubt it would have impacted me much the way that the destruction of the Grimorum Arcanorum did in "Avalon" - the startlement at seeing another familiar element that had been in the series from the beginning suddenly gone. (Was the blonde female member among the casualties? She was the only member besides Bruno that really came out as much of an individual, to me).

At any rate, thanks for the latest ramble, Greg.

Greg responds...

The castle is definitely based on Urquhart. (That's assuming that it flat out isn't Urquhart.)

I have more plans for Bruno.

Response recorded on July 14, 2004

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What else can I do?

"Sure," you say, "I'd love to come to the Gathering, but..."

There are always reasons, I suppose. Some good, some not so good, some very good.

I'd still like you to come. Even now. With less than a month left, I'd like to see you make the effort and show. It's a great year for it, what with the Disney folks there shooting footage for the DVD. Heck, don't we want them to see how strong our fanbase is?

The Gatherings have been the lifeblood of this fandom. Why are we getting DVDs this year. Because of the annual Gathering. Just that simple.

And, yes, I am talking to you. And you in the back there too, trying to sneak out.

But let's say you just CAN'T make it this year. This happened. Or that happened. You just can't. You ask me to understand, by saying, "What else can I do?"

Here are a few things...

1. Buy a supporting membership. It's much less expensive than a trip to Montreal. It helps support the convention. And you're entered for a free t-shirt.

2. Heck, just ORDER THE T-SHIRT. It's also much less expensive than the trip. And you get a T-shirt.

3. Order a pin or the Phoenix Gate Anthology.

4. At least go to the website and check these things out:

http://www.gatheringofthegargoyles.com/

5. Start planning now to attend G2005 in Las Vegas. Start saving. Show your true support for the series and the fandom.

Thanks.


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Aaron writes...

SUNDAY

Same plan: Get up early, sell pre-reg. Same flaw in plan. Once again, Greg showed up at nine. Once again, I begged for another hour. Once again, I went back to bed. Once again, Lynati and Greg came back.

Only this time I just threw them the forms and let them get on with it. Mara and I did get down there and spell them eventually. Lots of people showed up to register and just to hang out. That filled the day until the Auction.

Lynati and I traded footwear about then, so she got to wear my nice comfy jungle boots and I got to wear her really cool, but pinchy as all get out, gargoyle feet.

I spent way too much money at the auction, but I had fun doing it and it's for charity right? Mr. Andy is quite the auctioneer and I hope he'll consider reprising the role next year.

At the auction we finally figured out who Carol was. Yay! Unfortunately, she was leaving before Closing Ceremonies, so we couldn't really hang out much. Boo!

We went back and sold more pre-reg until CC. The end of a con is always bittersweet at best, so my impressions of Closing are kind of vague. The awards for Art Show were given out. Mara won "Most Nauseatingly Cute" for her picture of Chibi-Demona.

And then it was over. Another Gathering come and gone. We went and sold more pre-reg, operating from what was the registration table, since the dealer's room was closed. Siryn came through, almost in tears at having lost a $200 set of markers. (She did find them eventually)

After the dust settled, we were supposed to have a staff meeting. We went back to the sushi place, with like twelve people, which made the service slower, and talked idly about the con. Not much got done.

We decided to go for mini-golf after sushi. Following that, we decided somebody needed to grab Greg and bring him along. We needed to make yet another quick stop by K-Mart, but we figured that wouldn't be a problem.

Needless to say, by the time we got back to the hotel, everyone who'd talked about mini-golf was gone. Oh well.

Eventually, we ended up in the con suite swapping stories. I really wish Greg had come in ten minutes sooner when Hudson and Revel were telling medical stories, instead of when he did, which was the "stupid things I did while drunk" segment of the evening, but what can you do?

As the evening wore on, we migrated out to the volleyball court for "Story Time with Un'ca Hudson." Basically, an extended version of Hudson's Rant-fest from the night before.

All too soon, it came time for us to depart. (We had to leave at like 3 a.m. to make it back to New York to make our plane. Stupid discount tickets) We'd already promised GXB a ride back too, so we loaded the car with all our bags, and gods know how many T-shirts that Sarah told us we had to take at the last minute. (Apparently, they brought them down in a U-haul, and we had to get them back to New York in the convertible. A little warning would have been nice)

The trip back was wild. I blinked and lost time on four separate occasions. The first two were okay. The third one I unblinked and there was a state trooper behind us. He gave us a warning and let us go. I still don't know what for. The fourth one I found out we'd taken a detour into Pennsylvania. Philadelphia, to be precise.

I woke Mara up, semi-panicking, demanding that she navigate. (For me, being in another state from where you need to be is a panic situation. I'm not used to this hit five states and a district of Columbia in one day thing)

Mara: "Calm down. How do you know where we are?"

Me: "We just drove by the First Union Center! It looks exactly like it does on TV!" (I realize this means nothing to the non-basketball fan) "Trust me."

Eventually, we did make it back to New York, only to discover we'd lost my backpack somewhere. This made me unhappy. Plus, returning the rental car was an adventure and a half, and getting on the plane with no tickets and Mara's cat Anna was tricky.

But Hudson and Lynati found my bag, and eventually returned it, and the giant plush armadillo I bought in the DFW airport cheered me up some.

And that, as they say, is that.

Random quote for this year: "The fandom is so full of Sluggites that all you have to do to start a conversation is yell "My world is a crotch!" and see who responds."

Greg responds...

The real question is will I get to your rambles on G2003 before the G2005 con.

I love reading these rambles. It's like everyone has their own narrative, and they overlap at times, but it's great to fill in the mental blanks to see what else was going on.

Response recorded on July 13, 2004

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Aaron writes...

SATURDAY

We were supposed to get up early, head down to the dealer's room, and sell pre-registration for G2K3. Again, any plan that includes the words "get up early"...

Around nine, Lynati came and pounded on our door. I begged for an hour to shower, shave, etc. (Sometimes I just need to feel pretty) Only my feet carried me back to bed instead of to the shower... So, around ten, Greg *and* Lynati came and pounded on the door. Feeling bad about oversleeping, I wanted to tear down to the dealers room and start selling pre-reg immediately. Everybody else thought we should get brunch first. And I've got the only car... In retrospect, I probably should have just gone out and picked up some McD's or something. Hindsight is 60/20. We ended up at some buffet place, which was better then the previous day's IHOP, but still overpriced. (But what did I expect in a tourist town?)

So, we ate. And then we came back, and set up in the dealers room. Demona May gave us a receipt book, and drew a fancy sign for us, as well as a stack of calendars she had made. Thanks DM. Greg and Mara and I rotated at the table for a couple of hours, (I spent my off time bumming around the art room) until it was time for the radio play.

Radio Play was the Demona episode from the aborted Team Atlantis series. It was quite good, (the guys playing Mole and Vinnie, whose names escape me right now, were especially hilarious) and a fun glimpse of what might have been.

Afterwards, Greg produced yet another surprise, a tape of the actual voice recording of the episode in question. He popped it in the deck... And nothing happened. Somehow, the stereo didn't like the tape. So Greg asked if anybody had a boombox or a tapedeck or something. To which I replied, "Well, we could all go out to my car..." (Laughter from the crowd) Greg told them "Don't laugh, it might come to that." (More laughter) It didn't. A boombox was procured, and the episode played. I almost enjoyed the Radio Play more then the actual tape. Maybe because the tape didn't have Greg narrating to give us visuals with the audio.

Interesting things learned from the radio play. One, there were gargoyles on Atlantis. Two, the Praying Gargoyle is an Atlantean artifact. Three, the PG regenerates over time.

After that, we went back and did the pre-reg thing again, until the banquet. We got there late, and so we couldn't get a seat on the higher level where Greg was. And then the hotel staff, who'd been so great about so many other things, wouldn't let us push tables together to make more room. Apparently it was a fire hazard or some such thing.

The food was burgers and dogs, with a side of mac and cheese. Free, and therefore better then a kick in the head, as my grandmother is wont to say. We finished pretty fast, and I would have liked to stick around for Greg's Q & A, but consensus was that we wouldn't be able to hear or ask questions from down where we were, so we split. Hudson needed a hand moving the chairs in the Opening Ceremonies room, so we went and helped with that instead.

And then it was time to get ready for Cos Play. The major question of course, being whether Lynati would finish her costume on time.

While Mara was getting dressed, I hung out in the hall with Winterwolf, who wanted to know if I remembered any of Edwin the conjurer's lines from Baldur's Gate II. (Of course) Jen popped out of her room and asked if I had a black hair tie, (of course) and then I retreated to get dressed as well.

It wasn't the most authentic Xanatos costume, but it worked, and opportunities to wear that purple coat are rare, so I went with it. Mara made a stunning Fox, if I do say so myself.

Other costumes> Jen makes a freakily good Xanatos. I mean, really, it's scary. If we can ever get Jonathan Frakes to a Gathering, she has to do it again. Spacebabie will never again be mistaken for jailbait, and will probably have to fight off the propositions with a stick next year. Anthony "Gambit/Archangel/Dracon" Zucconi was a scary Elisa. Dreamie was a very purrlicious kitty. Edwin never summoned any creatures like that for me. And there were lots of other cool costumes belonging to people whose names I unfortunately don't know. But they were cool.

And then there was Lynati... Lynati was literally working on her costume up until the moment Mara threw her out of the room to go to Cosplay. She'd told me about it in the months leading up to the con, but the descriptions didn't do it justice. Once again, I am awed.

Oh, and Mara and I won best skit for our Eye of Greg thing.

Mara: (As Fox) Look David, I'm wearing your engagement present. The Eye of Greg Weisman.

Me: (As Xanatos) That's... great honey. But, won't that turn you into a sarcastic genius who's unable to give a straight answer to anything?

Mara: ... Maybe... All things are true.

So the winners were announced, group pictures were taken, and then we took Lynati upstairs to show her to the desk crew who wanted to see the costumes. (Did I mention the hotel staff was really great?)

Which leads to one of my favorite anecdotes from this con...

A little set-up. Across the hall and down a ways from our room there was a family of the mundanest mundanes ever. White, middle-class, 2.5 kids, dad's probably a CPA or something. I would love to know what they thought was going on that weekend. Anyway, we seemed to be (Eric Cartman voice) warping their fragile little minds.

They gave me the fish-eye as I hurried by in my purple coat and the little girl says: "Daddy, I'm scared. There was a girl with green hair walking around earlier." (Which I assume was Ayami. Seemed like a pretty non-threatening shade of pastel green to me)

And he says: "Just keep moving honey." As in, don't stop before we get to our room or the freaks will get us.

So, after the masquerade, we're taking Lynati back to her room after stopping by the front desk, and I spot the same little girl, with the door cracked just wide enough to put her head through, peeking out into the hall. And she gets a look at Lynati, and her eyes get about the size of Lexington's, and then she SLAM!s the door shut. I did not see any of those people for the rest of the weekend.

So we let Lyn get changed, and head back downstairs. Zaius and Greg Guler are talking about Minnesota, and Hudson is trying to organize a Weisman/Guler deathmatch with the dart guns. Both agreed, but sadly, Greg vs. Greg did not happen. Greg Guler disappeared, and after that there didn't seem to be much point in dragging Greg W. out from where he was comfy.

GXB showed up about then with Spacebabie in tow. She couldn't stay for the next day of the con (:( ) but she wanted to pre-reg for next year. So we headed back to our room once again, and got that taken care of. And then we hung out for a while. It is really hard to maintain eye contact with Spacebabie while she's dressed like that.

So, after twenty minutes of that, we drifted back to downstairs *again*, and found out that Greg vs. Greg was cancelled. But people were still really enthralled with the idea of Nerf mayhem, so Hudson and Chris decided to set up a tourney. We assembled as many of the weapons as we could, and commandeered half of the OC room. While the Quake players sketched out a layout, I made yet another trip back to our room, to change into my trenchcoat, vampire emoticon shirt, and skull and bones headscarf.

Nerf War is mucho fun. Everyone, I think, had a really good time, and everyone was a really great sport about it. Every match, after the first one, ended with a headshot rather then needing the judges to count hits. I ended up paired against GXB in the first round. Heh. Staff fight.

We're getting ready, and Hudson tells us to take off our coats, 'cause we'll trip on them. We declined.

So we take our places, and Chris says to lose the coats, 'cause we'll trip on them. Hudson says "No, they wanna have the Matrix fight." And then he set some rules for our fight. 1. No slowing time. 2. No warping space. 3. No flying through the air sideways in slow motion. 4. Hits on the coat count as hits.

And we fought. It's really quite a rush. Maybe even better then paintball, because the range is closer and thus the threats are more immediate.

I won. Barely. I finished Greg with a headshot a few seconds after his dart came so close that I felt the wind on my ear.

Hudson defeated Chris in a much anticipated match that did not lack for excitement.

Which meant I drew Hudson in the next round...

I thought I had no chance of winning. But I had to at least try. So I ditched the coat for greater mobility, and then my shirt, to draw on the power of Demona. That brought things to a halt for a bit as everyone who'd never seen my tattoo had to get a look. Spaz Kitty transferred allegiance from Hudson to me for the rest of the fight. But Chris' "Dude, is that permanent?" had to be the best response.

It was awesome. I'd studied Hudson's fighting style in his previous match with Chris, and tried to imitate it as much as possible. Which lead to a stalemate with both of us dual-wielding dart pistols behind cover just out of range from each other. Hudson, trying to get me to break cover says "You know I ****ed your mom, right?" I wait for him to make a move, and then pop up myself, yelling "Daddieeeeeeeeeee!" in a high-pitched tone of voice.

That pretty much set the tone for the match. Lots of misdirection and trickery. I managed to stay ahead of Hudson's fire with body control and a lot of luck, while Hudson opted for Jedi-like deflection with his own gun.

We fired every dart out of every gun in the entire room, until we were left with nothing but the ultimate last ditch weapon, the spring-launched Styrofoam glider, donated by Tony Z, which killed you if it hit anywhere. I got to it, dodged Hudson's last few darts, and then we strafed the length of the room, before I headshot him when he changed direction.

I beat Hudson! W00-h00!

After that totally unexpected result, I had thoughts about winning the whole thing. Unfortunately, I was eliminated in the next round by Sgt. Goliath. That match was kind of weird. Multiple witnesses corroborate that two of our darts hit each other in mid-air, nearly rebounding back on us, and I head shot him, but the dart was in the air when his hit my forehead with a mighty smack, leaving a mark that was visible for ten minutes after.

Eventually, the tournament finished, and almost everyone who wanted to try their hand got to, except for that one really tall guy. Sorry dude. But take heart that next year Nerf War will be an official event.

After we got kicked out at 2 a.m., I went briefly back to the room, but finding Mara to be sound asleep, I went and hung out with Hudson and Co. outside for awhile. I think I finally left around four, and then I accidentally woke Mara up, and we ended up talking until sunrise on...

Greg responds...

But weren't we using a microphone for the Q&A -- and frankly, don't I have the loudest speaking voice in Christendom?

Response recorded on July 13, 2004

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Aaron writes...

FRIDAY

Friday we were supposed to get up early and go with Hudson over to WalMart and buy more of those nifty guns. Can you spot the flaw in this plan? It's those three little words: "get up early." I don't like mornings as a general rule, and after a long day like the previous one... Nothing short of kicking in the door and throwing a bucket of water on me would have gotten me moving before noon.

So we finally get dressed, and head downstairs, picking up our badges and GXB in the process. Hudson turned up with many more guns, (but still not enough to go around) and told us they'd bought out the WalMart. After checking out the dealer's room and hanging Mara's stuff in the art room, hunger called, so the five of us, myself, Mara, Lynati, Revel, and GXB all climbed into the car and went in search of food.

Revel directed us to an IHOP where he'd been shortly before, with another group. The food was standard IHOP, passable but over-priced. We'd passed a Big K on the way, so we stopped and bought a bunch of stuff, including those huge blue Nerf guns we carried for pretty much the rest of the con.

So we returned, and after, I swear, something on the order of an hour trying to get the Nerf guns out of the packaging, we went our separate ways to get ready for opening ceremonies. Lynati went off to work on her wings some more, and we agreed to meet GXB back at our room in about an hour. This was a mistake on my part. One, it left us with very little time to do much of a final polish on our presentation, (which was only finished Monday before the con) and me with far too much time to freak out about the presentation. I've been terrified of public speaking for as long as I can remember, and this was no exception. How would we be received? Would I freak and babble nonsense? How would OtherCon go over? Ad infinitum. So I just laid on the bed and went quietly insane while Mara made fun of me in the guise of cheering me up. ;)

Then I channeled my freaking out into trying (futilely) to iron my vampire shirt. (The big, poofy, black thing with the ruffled front and cuffs I was wearing at opening ceremonies) A hopeless task, (and pointless, since the whole thing was hidden under my coat anyway) but it passed the time. Passed it too well in fact, since then I started panicking about being late. (Yes, it takes me twice as long as Mara to get ready to go anywhere)

So Greg B. shows up, and we have a mini-review of the presentation, before heading downstairs. We thought there might be seats reserved for us, but (thankfully) didn't want to take the chance. There weren't, so we got some about 2/3s of the way to the back of the room. Surprisingly, there was still a good view from there.

So, Siryn talks for a while. Poor girl. (Heh. Girl. I think she's a couple years older then me) Anyway, she talks, and the stress of the last year is just visible. My heart goes out to her. (My head, meanwhile, is still busy freaking out, so I have only a vague impression of what she actually said) Sapphire read a poem about the fandom, which Mara summed up by paraphrasing Stitch. "We're large. And broken. But still good. Yeah, still good."

And then it was our turn...

Our place toward the back made for a long walk up to where Si was standing, and I think we milked it a little. It was one of those moments I wish I could watch from the outside, to see the audience reaction. The three of us, GXB, Mara, and me, all in black from head to toe, including our trenchcoats, Mara and I carrying our Nerf dartguns at port arms, flanking Greg. The people who know us probably weren't phased, but I wonder what all those con virgins were thinking. I did catch the phrase, "only in New York" from somebody.

And so we pimped the con. We talked. And we talked. And we talked some more. I talked entirely too much. I got punchy and started threatening the audience with my dart gun. Talked about the hotel, location, rates, dates, etc.

(It has been pointed out to me by various people, that some of the things we said were somewhat derogatory to some of the previous staffs. I apologize for that. It was never out intent)

And we talked some more. We introduced the "Name the con" contest, and the mascot, Madison, or Maddie for short.

And then we introduced Death. The Other Mascot. He caused a bit of a stir. (Mara drew up these really great, really *big* pics of the mascots, and we showed them off)

And then we dropped the bomb, so to speak: OtherCon. Which took like half the presentation, introducing it and then answering some questions about it.

And then finally, we were done, and we got to sit back down.

And then Greg (W) got up to talk. He did a hand count, and the number of con virgins was unbelievable. Like, a third of the room. Amazing. He also had considerably bigger bombs to drop.

First up, Toon Disney gave us a bunch of free shirts, and hats, almost completely gratis. Reading a one paragraph Toon Disney advert was a tiny price to pay for all our bounty.

And then, the bunkerbuster: Gargs on DVD. In 2003. With Greg's commentary. Life is good.

Then he did the "litany" presentations, the ones we know so well we can recite along with Greg. And, as a bonus, there was a promo narrated by Jonathan Frakes, which I'd never seen before. Frakes described Gargoyles as "The next generation of Disney animation." Which I thought sounded really appropriate and cool for about ten seconds before I realized it's also a terrible pun.

And then, he showed the Bad Guys leica reel. Which totally freaked me out, because he forgot to do the "don't film this" disclaimer, and there were at least two people in the audience with digital camcorders...

And then we left, minus GXB, plus Lynati and Revel, to search for dinner. This is harder then it sounds. As so many people have already pointed out: What was with all those pancake houses?!? Are pancakes like, the state dish of Virginia or something?

We were really surprised to find a sushi place. So surprised, in fact, that to confirm that this was not a mirage created by our sleep-starved brains, we had to stop and consume large amounts of raw fish, rice, soy sauce, and wasabi.

The food was good but the service was slow, and we had to make another run to K-Mart for some things we forgot the first time, so we got back later then we intended.

We managed to make at least part of Hudson's Rantfest. Hudson had a really nifty-sounding announcement about starting an art archive that works like the fic archive does. It sounded pretty cool and I hope it happens.

After that, he just kind of rambled. Even if you're totally untechnical, like I am, just the way Hudson tells the story makes it funny.

That broke up just in time to make it to Rocky. Kind of a smaller audience then I'd expected, but people were probably tired by that point. And after that, we dragged ourselves to bed.

Greg responds...

What was with all the pancake houses? Of course, I love pancakes. And I'll tell you a year later in NYC, that night after Coney Island, I would have killed for an open IHOP or Dennys.

Response recorded on July 13, 2004

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Aaron writes...

THURSDAY

Got up, entirely too early, and started calling rental places. Maybe we should have gone with Rent-A-Wreck. (Next time, national chain) Don't rent from New York Rental. So, we rent a Chrysler Seebring convertible, which has a few dings in it. Or rather, in the dim light of the parking garage, it looked like a few dings. Out in full sunlight, it was a different story altogether.

It also had a tape deck. Ordinarily, I would love that. I love cassettes, and hate CDs. Ninety percent of my music collection is cassettes. But, I didn't think anybody still rented cars with tape decks, so we brought CDs for traveling music. Oops.

(Side note to all you car owners: Do you feel like you have a bond with your car? I mean, to the point where it's like a pet or something? That it knows you and you know it, and you compliment each other? Just curious)

And we're off. Six hundred miles by map through unfamiliar territory with an unbonded vehicle. What could go wrong? Oh, and our main route, I-95, apparently has a bad rep about road rage. I felt right at home.

So we drove. From New York, though New Jersey, (Where we stopped for lunch and bought 64 oz mugs for the rest of the trip. Oh, and the pseudo-leather thing that's supposed to cover the top when it's down blew off somewhere on the Jersey Turnpike. Recovery was not an option) Delaware, Maryland, Washington D.C., back into Maryland, (where we got royally lost), and finally into Virginia, to pick up Lynati at Dulles airport.

So, happy reunion there, car reloaded, (for such a big car, the Seebring has *no* trunk space) and we're off again... Back to Maryland, for Chinese dinner, and so Lyn can do laundry and pick up her wings.

On the way back from dinner, it starts *pouring*. Now, I've never driven a convertible before, and we drove all the way up to this point with the top down, (The source of the sunburn Mara and especially I was sporting the whole con) *and* I'm a spaz. So we can't figure out how to lock the convertible closed. So the roof's leaking, and most of it's dripping right on the door panel where the window controls are... And *something* happens, and my window goes down and STAYS down.

This, in a word, sucks.

Much swearing and meddling with a pair of needle-nosed pliers fails to fix the problem, but fortunately for us, that was the last rain of the trip. (It did eventually fix itself, kind of) Fortified by a newly-bought Pat Benetar tape, we set off again, through the wilds of Virginia, completing a "four hour" road trip in two and a half hours.

Some general observations before I go on:

1. Eastern states have no idea how to build highways. Of every place we went, only Pennsylvania seemed to get it right. In Texas, highways actually go *through* places. None of this "here's an exit, some undetermined distance down which there *might* be a town" stuff. Virginia was particularly bad about this. Back home, on the side of the highway, there're fast food places, 24-hour diners, roadside attractions, evil small-town cops with radar guns, and, most importantly, *gas stations.* In Virginia, the side of the highway is... trees. Nothing but trees for miles. On the sides and in the median. Trees, and big "No Stopping" signs.

2. Toll roads are EVIL. It's a tax on people's ability to move freely. Just the idea makes me feel oogy.

3. "Speed limit enforced by aircraft." WTH does that mean? If you go too fast, they chase you with choppers? If so, then, (A) What were all those VA state patrol cars we passed for?, and (B) Why didn't they come after me?

Back to the ramble...

So, we finally get to Williamsburg, and, after a stop at 7-11, find our way into the hotel. It's like, 1 a.m. by this time. We get inside, and run into WinterWolf and Dreamie, Kyt, and some other people hanging out in the lobby. Wolfie showed us his rental, (his Seebring was in much better condition then ours) and we unloaded all our junk. During that lengthy process, Jen, Patrick, and Kathy arrived. More roadtrip survivors! Mara gave Jen her art gift, and the elevator opened to reveal Gregs W. & B., and a woman I later realized was Carol.

(I wish we'd figured that out sooner. We really didn't get to hang out with her, except a little after the auction, and by then it was too late to have much of a staff meeting)

Eventually, after most of the other people decamped for a late dinner at Denny's, we ran into Hudson, who showed off the first of many nifty black dart guns to be found at a nearby WalMart.

We just sort of hung out for a couple of hours, talking of projects, and cons, and the fandom in general. Unable to interest anyone else in food, I was forced to eat the leftover pizza from Jersey. Such hardship. ;)

And then suddenly it was like 4 a.m. Ack! Bedtime.

Greg responds...

Now it's all starting to come back to me...

So Bishansky wasn't in the car with you? Cuz that would explain a lot. ;) (Sorry, Greg, couldn't resist.)

Response recorded on July 13, 2004


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