Sanctuary Outline Memo

In prep for my ramble on Sanctuary, here's my notes to Story Editor/Writer Cary Bates on his first outline for "Sanctuary"...

WEISMAN 2-13-95

Notes on "Sanctuary" Outline...

GENERAL
Cary, I'm going to resist the temptation of beating this all out for you. That's how I got so far behind before. And at this stage I doubt I could do it any faster or better than you. So I want you to do a second draft on this outline, addressing ALL of the notes below. I sympathize, in advance. This is a complicated story. But I know we (meaning mostly you) can make it work. Don't take too long. And feel free to call after you've read this. We may be able to work out some of the problems over the phone. Good luck and here goes:

"SANCTUARY"
How does the title fit? What is the theme of the story? Is it about feeling safe? Safe in the arms of someone you love? I like that notion, but we'd have to emphasize it a lot more.

And simultaneously, more of the action should be centered around Notre Dame Cathedral. Economically, we can't afford to design backgrounds for an entire city. So we should keep the action focused on a few locations, that climax at the gargoyle covered cathedral-"sanctuary".

Plus, we don't want newspapers to be generically talking about a "mysterious winged creature". We want them focused on the Creature haunting the Cathedral at night. Maybe they think it's someone posing as Quasimodo, or his spirit or maybe they even think it's a gargoyle come to life or something. Of course, it's really Thailog. (Not Demona, by the way.) He's been there since "Double Jeopardy". Arriving long before Demona and Macbeth arrived.

We need to involve Thailog more at the end. Make him part of the conflict. I think he would have upgraded a bit. Used some of that $20 million to armor himself for battle. Not necessarily robotic armor, but at least a chestplate. Maybe wrist and shin guards. Keep in mind, we want him to be more powerful than Goliath and more threatening than any other villain. We should probably arm him with some big high-tech bazooka/laser/cannon type-thing too.

And we don't have to break up Demona and Thailog at the end. We just need to know that Thailog doesn't really care for her.

Remember, Thailog's plan isn't to kill Demona and Macbeth for the sake of killing them. He wants what they have managed to acquire over the last nine hundred years. If he could add that to the fortune he's parlayed from the money he stole from Xanatos, he might be able to compete with Xanatos financially. He needs to have already merged Demona's holdings with his own. So that his corporation (and we should get a cool, evocative name for it) we'll inherit in the case of her demise. And he wants to inherit Macbeth's stuff too. So if Mac and Dierdre marry, and both die together, (which is the only way they can die) he'll get everything.

Now, I'm not pretending this is easy to accomplish. As I read the outline, I was wondering if we needed a maguffin or two to symbolize this wealth. Maybe Macbeth's Paris Mansion itself. But we managed to figure something out for "Outfoxed" that clearly and dynamically spelled out Halcyon and Fox's "financial conflict". We can do the same thing here. With the same clarity.

OTHER QUESTIONS
Does Macbeth plan on telling "Dierdre" the truth about himself?

Is this the first time since Gruoch that Macbeth has been in love? Since he's an immortal has he avoided close relationships, not wanting to outlive his lover? Or watch her grow old? Or has he been through this before? Maybe not often, but once or twice over the last nine hundred years. How did he handle it in the past? Is he doing something different now? Highlander questions, basically.

Is Macbeth afraid for Dierdre's life? Does he think Demona might try to harm Dierdre to get back at him?

Do Goliath, Elisa and Angela assume at first that Macbeth and human Demona are in cahoots and only realize/remember later that since M&D have no memory of anything between City of Stone and Avalon, that Macbeth might not know that this human woman is in fact Demona?

Do we have an opportunity, maybe when Goliath and Elisa are searching Paris for the villains, for them to be romanitcally affected by the City of Lights?

When it's over, instead of Macbeth simply remaining bitter and once again suicidal, could Goliath point out to him that life offers possibilities... that if Macbeth could fall in love with Demona, he could certainly fall in love with someone else? Someone nice who would make his long life worth living again, at least for a time.

SOME SPECIFICS
A bunch of things, (some of which Cary the Story Editor should have been able to catch from his reading of past scripts, tsk tsk). Some of these notes may be moot after a rewrite of the outline.

Beat 2) Goliath, Elisa and Angela know that Demona and Macbeth left Avalon unconcious and together. Wherever they landed it would also have to be together. (Of course, Goliath and Co. have been travelling for awhile. So there's no guarantee that Macbeth and Demona stayed together after landing wherever they landed. It's just a good bet.)

There's also no reason for Goliath to assume that Macbeth and Demona are involved with each other still. (After all, they hate each other.) Also no reason to assume that Macbeth would be hurt by the association. And though there's no love left between Demona and Goliath, Goliath has no reason to feel sympathy for Macbeth. The audience might. Some of them would know Mac's backstory from City of Stone and sympathyze, but Goliath doesn't know the whole story. And he's got no reason to think more of Macbeth than Demona. Ironically, it is Thailog, more evil than any of the others, who Goliath would have the most sympathy for. He sees Thailog as a victim of poor upbringing. He'd like to reform and rescue his "son".

On the other hand, by this time Goliath believes that they land everywhere for a purpose. If he sees Macbeth and/or Demona, it's not too big a leap for him to figure that whatever the purpose, it involves these villains.

Beat 4) Again, here we'd like the headlines to be more specific to the Cathedral.

Beat 5) Elisa would recognize the human Demona from "High Noon".

Beat 7) We are forcing the creation of a lot of different sets and backgrounds here. Also don't forget that Demona's transformations to gargoyle (and back) are painful. Also don't forget that Macbeth feels any pain that Demona feels and vice versa. Distance reduces the pain, but we've never been really specific about how much distance or what the reduction is. Does Macbeth, across town, feel a little of Demona's pain at transformation? If so, he could blame Demona, knowing as he does, that he feels her pain. All that would tell him is that Demona is in the vicinity. It wouldn't reveal that Demona is Dierdre, unless he saw her transform. On the other hand, Demona might be far enough away that Macbeth feels nothing. Or just a slight twinge of soreness, that he doesn't immediately connect with Demona. We can play it any of these ways, we just need to deal with this "Corsican Brother"-style pain-sharing. We can't ignore it.

Beat 10) We've got a lot of set-up with little action up to this point. Maybe we can streamline a bit. Also, it feels like Mac's hovercraft might be a little unwieldy for this sequence. Maybe he's on the flying equivalent of a jet-ski or something a bit more svelt.

But there's another big question. What is Macbeth's objective towards Demona at this point? He knows that the only way to rid himself of her is to die himself. He may have forgotten the lessons of City of Stone and Avalon, but I would think that his love for Dierdre would prevent him from wanting to die. Later we imply that he's chasing Demona in order to chase her out of town. But that's pretty goofy logic. "I haven't seen you in weeks. So I'm going to hunt you down, to make sure you stay out of my life."

Beat 11) We definitely want to do something with the Eiffel Tower. Maybe even stage a battle there in the first or second act. But the Tower is open to tourists at night. Does anyone see them hanging there? Or are we way into wee hours by this time?

Beat 13) Goliath can't steal this guys camcorder. He's not a thief. Even destroying it is pretty malicious for Goliath, who's never gone too far out of his way to hide from humans.

Beat 16) Gargoyles don't kiss. They stroke hair. And it's "Notre Dame" ("Our Lady"), not "Notre Damn" ("Our Damnation"?)

Beat 17) The Cathedral is a very temporary safe house for Thailog while some safer, new place is being built for him. (Or maybe that's part of what Thailog is after: Macbeth's Paris Mansion.) It is not abandoned. Thailog is safe their during the day, because he's like a needle in a gargoyle haystack. After dark, he can stay out of sight in the upper reaches, until the Cathedral closes for the night. But he can't have much of a set-up there. Computers? Paintings? I don't think so. Particularly when we've got reports of a creature climbing around the church at night. People might investigate. They wouldn't find Thailog. But what would they make of that computer?

Beat 18) Demona may have no desire to "see" Goliath, since she found Thailog. But she'd still want him dead. Plus she MUST be curious about this female gargoyle. She thinks she knows all the gargoyles that exist, and none of them are female. She'd have to know. (And for that matter, so would Thailog.)

Beat 19) Think about how silly it would look in live action, if a villain who looked like Thailog, whipped out a brush and in a few seconds added a necklace to a painting. It's equally silly looking in animation. Maybe moreso because it's so easy to do.

I don't understand the pre-nuptual agreement at all. Why does Macbeth feel he needs it? (And don't tell me his lawyers push him around.) Besides, the whole idea of it goes against what we want to have happen in the story. Thailog wants Mac and Demona to get married. And have Demona inherit so that he can inherit from her, when both Demona and Mac die. Or am I missing something? I don't think we want this to be about stealing money from a safe. That's small potatos for Thailog and Demona. Either we need to have some irreplaceable (possibly magical) maguffin in that safe, or we should be dealing with the whole ball of wax. The former would probably be easier, but I'd like to go for the latter ball of wax if we can.

Beat 20) Again, I don't buy Macbeth's logic for hunting down Demona.

Beat 21) Angela can't operate a camcorder. She's not Lex. (And as noted above, I don't see anyway for our guys to have this anyhow.) Plus she wouldn't recognize Thailog. Also it feels like a pretty big jump for Goliath to figure that Demona and Thailog are working together. Not an impossible jump, but a big one.

Also, I was unclear. Did Goliath have a chance to give instructions to Elisa or did he turn to stone before he had time?

Beat 23) Again, I don't believe Macbeth lets lawyers push him around. And I don't think we need this pre-nup agreement in the story.

Beat 24) I really don't like this camcorder. And I don't know why Elisa needs it here. Like if she followed Mac and Dem, returned to Goliath without visual proof he wouldn't believe her story?

Beat 25) "How can I prove my love to you?" "Give me the combination to your safe." Yeah, that wouldn't make me suspicious.
I'd almost rather play any scene like this where Macbeth is insisting on giving something to Dierdre, who protests that she doesn't want it. The more she protests that all she needs is his love, the more he wants to lavish on her. In this way, he is predictable, but he's not being fooled by "crocodile tears" into doing something that seems incredibly fishy.

Beat 26) Again, Elisa would recognize human Demona from "High Noon" the first time she saw her. But here I was entirely unclear. How does footage of Dierdre prove that she's Demona, when Elisa didn't recognize her in person?

And this bit about Dierdre being Demona's name...? Gargoyles didn't have names in the tenth century. Naming is a human convention. Goliath referred to Demona back then as his angel love, or his angel of the night. Do we want to change "Dierdre" to "Angel" or "Angelica" or "Angelique". I don't know if you still need this, since Elisa would recognize human Demona, but I suppose you could, as long as we wouldn't be confusing the audience with Angela.

Why wouldn't Goliath want Elisa along? And why would Elisa agree to stay behind?

And what is it that Angela's staring at? Footage of human Dierdre? This isn't going to help her make the connection between herself and Demona. Visual clues aren't really the answer at all, since she would have seen Demona in the Avalon 3-parter. She learned from Sevarius that Goliath was her biological father. Here she learns that Demona was Goliath's love all those years ago. She puts two and two together over the course of the episode. Figuring out the truth only after she's already come to regard Demona as evil. You won't have room here to deal with the ramifications of that discovery. You're just setting things up for another story.

Beat 27) Why does Macbeth want to capture Goliath and Angela if he wants to get Gargoyles out of his life for good?

Beat 28) Goliath is "spreading" lies? To who? I mean we know he's not. But who does Macbeth think he's spreading lies to, that makes him want to imprison Goliath to stop it?

Also Macbeth could NOT have heard about Thailog. He was under the Weird Sister's spell when Thailog made his only other appearance. Besides who would he have heard about him from?

Beat 32) Again, not at all happy about Thailog's magic paintbrush. Particularly since it proves nothing here. It's not a photograph. If Macbeth thinks Goliath might lie about Dierdre, why wouldn't he think that this is a further lie somehow accomplished by Goliath.

Beat 33) I'm glad Macbeth keeps his cook. That guy can make a mean omelette.

Beat 36) Again, don't forget that Macbeth and Demona feel each other's pain while fighting.

Beat 39) These are huge leaps for Angela to make. How does she know this about Thailog. Also does Thailog show up there, state what he states and then not get involved in the fight? Or is that a typo for Goliath? Maybe we should let the battle climax at the Cathedral. Thailog is there. Goliath tries to "save" his son from Demona's evil. (Goliath assumes this plan is Demona's, not Thailog's.) Thailog just laughs. Reveals he wants Mac and Demona to kill each other. And he'll kill Goliath to prevent him interferring. Or something like that.

Beat 41) Killing Demona would at least knock Macbeth out.

Beat 42) Again, doesn't Thailog want anything besides their deaths?

Beat 44) Goliath still needs to be in some discomfort vis-a-vis the biological mother and father thing. It's not the gargoyle way. Brynne is going to deal with this (she'll have the space to deal with it) in her Africa story. Let Elisa be the one who confirms Angela's suspicions.

Beat 45) Again, I think we're working against our own ends. Why does Thailog need Macbeth and Demona dead, if not for what he can gain by their deaths?

Beat 46) Again, I think we can let Demona and Thailog go off together. Also, we've spent the whole episode with Demona turning back and forth from human to gargoyle. Demona does not turn to stone -- ever.

Beat 47) Angela should not get any comfort from Goliath in this episode. You don't have the time to deal with it here. If she receives comfort, it would come from Elisa.

MOVING FORWARD
O.k. try another pass. I'd streamline, by opening with the skiff arriving in daylight. Elisa leaves the stone gargoyles on the skiff tied under a bridge and goes to explore Paris. A place she's never been. She probably calls home again. Maybe she tries her parents this time, and again gets an answering machine. To save money on a voice actor, the answering message can be one that Elisa recorded for her parents months ago. (My sister is on my parents' machine with a message she recorded two years ago.) Elisa's voice says something like: "My parents don't know how to work their answering machine, but if you leave a message for Peter or Diane Maza, there's a fifty-fifty chance they'll call you back"). You don't have to jump through hoops to get the message erased this time. Then she briefly wanders around Paris like a tourist until she spots Mac and "Dierdre" who she immediately recognizes as Demona. She doesn't know that Mac doesn't know it's Demona. She'd probably assume they're up to something bad together. And also guess that they're why she and Goliath, etc. have landed in Paris. She follows them at a safe distance, etc. She doesn't want to get spotted. Near nightfall, she might head back so that she can inform Goliath when he awakens. Or she might not want to lose Macbeth and Demona until after she's found their H.Q. Or maybe when Mac and Dierdre split up, Elisa follows Dierdre to see where she lands, then loses her among the tourists at the cathedral.

Anyway, that's somewhere to start.

BACK TO THE PILOT...

On 7-15-93, I sent our writer a memo, sending him from outline on the Gargoyles multi-part pilot (what would eventually be dubbed "Awakening") to script (with notes).

So now it's two months later. In the interrum, the writer turned in a script, but it had become clear that he wasn't locking into the vision of the show that Gary Krisel and I had. This isn't meant as a criticism of this writer. This show was so new to Disney it was hard to get the template across to people. Fortunately, the next writer we brought on hit a home-run. That writer was, of course, Michael Reaves. What follows is a LONG memo I sent him with the previous writer's script. Everything else should be fairly self-explanitory, though I've added the occassional note in [brackets].

To: Michael Reaves 9-19-93

From: Greg Weisman (818)-754-7436

Re: Notes for Gargoyles Script

cc: Paul Lacy, Jay Fukuto, Bruce Cranston.

Michael, here are our collated and copious notes on [the previous writer's] script. Some of them are probably obvious to you, so forgive me if I tend to go on and on. Enclosed with this memo is a copy of Eric's script on disk, hopefully formatted to suit your needs, and the original beat outline for the 10th century section that we gave to [the previous writer] in March to get him started. We thought reading the latter might give you a clearer idea of what we were aiming for. You'll notice that [the previous writer] compressed the events of 994 from three nights into two. This obviously saved him some space but limited his ability to set up characters, motivations, themes, logistics, etc. I'm only bringing this up to allow you the flexibility to do either. Also available but not included is the outline that he wrote, which we approved to script with five pages of notes. Just let me or Paul know if you want to see either document.

SOME GENERAL NOTES:
--Obviously, the dialogue needs improvement. Each character must have his or her own unique VOICE. Diction must be chosen carefully. We don't want Goliath to sound arch and artificial, but he shouldn't be spouting colloquialisms either. Plus everyone should only say things that make sense for them to say.

--Motivations which once seemed clear to us have been buried or lost entirely. We must make these clear and understandable.

--Goliath's arc in particular must be made clear. He begins as an optimist. He has a job to do and he does it well. He believes that humans have a lot to offer to gargoyles (like reading and writing, for example), and that gargoyles also have a lot to offer to humans. He puts up with the Queen [soon to be demoted to Princess, i.e. Princess Katharine] because whether she's grateful or bitchy is largely immaterial to the fact that he will be true to himself, i.e. a gargoyle who protects his home. When he is betrayed, he becomes embittered. He has learned to hate and mistrust humans...he begins to see the world in Demona's black and white terms. Gargoyles, good; humans, bad. It may be a mind-set that he almost has to struggle to maintain: it's against his better nature. But he's determined not to trust again. Elisa changes him. He rediscovers his optimism through her. And the realization that Demona participated in the betrayal cements it. The world has shades of gray again. It's a tough world, but worthy of effort.

--Themes are likewise buried or lost. In addition to Goliath's major arc, the most important theme is, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Even Goliath is prone to fall into the trap of appearances. We should emphasize it as much as possible. A secondary theme is the "man out of his time" idea. We should never forget how strange the twentieth century must seem to our gargoyles.

--Ideally, we'd like to have some lighter moments of humor, both to offset the tension and to throw it into relief. But that doesn't mean we need brainless sight-gags or goofy pseudo-Spider-Man quips.

--As we discussed, you may want to open the whole piece with a VERY brief twentieth century scene between Elisa and another cop, looking at the fallen debris (claw-marks included) and wondering what could have caused this.

--Also remember that Gargoyles can't fly. They can glide, and we will cheat this using updrafts and downdrafts to keep them in the air, but if they're on the ground they have to get some height (perhaps by clawing their way up a building). They absolutely CANNOT take off by running fast at ground level.

--Gargoyles normally have pupils, but when they are angry or fighting, their eyes glow solidly.

PAGE NOTES
PAGE 1
As we imagined it, the castle was built on top of a Gargoyle rookery. The rookery itself was a series of tunnels carved into a cliffside overlooking the sea. This gave the inhabitants (both Gargoyle and Human) protection on all sides but one. The scene between Brian and his mother was originally to take place within a hundred feet and in clear view of the castle gates as they struggled up the hill toward the castle on the promontory. They are probably serfs. It's doubtful they had a village to burn down. The castle would have been the center of the community. We're not even sure whether it's necessary for the marauders to have already attacked their farm. (How would they have survived that, anyway?) Brian's desire to stand and fight seems off point. The fight's gonna happen where it should happen, at the castle.

Incidentally, for reasons that escaped us, [the previous writer] changed the boy's name from ROBBY to BRIAN. It doesn't really matter, but for some reason, Brian seems like a more modern name. Robby may be no better, however, so feel free to use either name or come up with a new one. [Of course, Michael changed the name to Tom. So in "Three Brothers" I used the Robby name for the young Captain.]

PAGE 2
Cole is a very wordy marauder. Also his reasoning's a bit off. He's in no real hurry to catch the farmers. He's after bigger game: the castle. If he takes that, he'll get everyone's possessions including the farmers. He's on a steady march up the hill. [Cole, of course, became Hakon and the marauders became Vikings.]

PAGE 3
Waiting for dusk to obscure the archer's vision is o.k., but obviously, waiting for nightfall when they can't see anything makes even more sense.

We saw the Captain as anything but handsome. A burly gargoyle of a man, ugly even. A real career soldier. Not necessarily a native to the castle. Someone who would get as little respect from the queen as Goliath does. Someone who could identify more with the gargoyles than with the humans he works for.

PAGE 4
The conversation between the marauders is too on the head. Telegraphs TOO much. I think the point was supposed to be that even in 994, real gargoyles were fairly rare and many castles had adopted the practice of putting fake ones up to scare off the likes of Cole. Cole is taking a calculated risk in attacking a gargoyle covered castle at night. I did think it was a nice moment when Cole ordered his men on and then silently stared at the castle, before shrugging off his fears.

The captain should have his archers ready, but Cole's keeping his men out of range, waiting for nightfall.

At some point we may need to clarify why the marauders are attacking. The idea is monetary gain. Confiscate anything of value. Drag the people away in chains. Perhaps ransom the valuable ones. Sell the others as slaves.

PAGE 5
O.k., the gargoyle's transformation from stone to flesh is not a magical one. It's biological. No magical light. We've discussed that every sundown they turn back to flesh from the inside out and when all that's left is a thin layer of stone on top, it starts to crack, and they explode out of it. (This is like a snake shedding it's skin for a new one underneath.) It's also up for grabs whether we want to show the complete transformation here. It may be better saved for when they first wake up in the twentieth century. Your call.

PAGE 6
In this first battle, the Marauders never make it over the wall. The battle takes place in front of the castle, and maybe on the wall a bit.

Bronx does not panic and hide. Again, think of Hooch in Turner and Hooch. He's dangerous in a fight.

The "gargoyles-don't-have-names" stuff must seem totally incomprehensible to you from this script, but we actually do think it can work, so as we go through the script, I'll try and show you what we had in mind. One key thing to remember is that in the tenth century, gargoyles felt that naming something defined and limited that thing. Goliath was named by the humans, (and you'll notice that the humans chose the name of a monstrous biblical villain, which kinda indicates their opinion of gargoyles in general). If gargoyles do need to refer to each other, they do it based on the individual relationship. So on this page, Goliath would never refer to Hudson as "Old One", but might refer to him as "old friend".

PAGE 7
Goliath: "We'll take care of it, son. You get your mother to safety." All of a sudden I expect to see a big red S on his chest. No thanks.

Plus Brian (or Robby or whatever) drives me nuts. This kid is too precocious. We don't need to see him leaping into battle. And we need to remember, Gargoyles are scary to humans, even to humans that gargoyles protect. Brian may have a more open mind than his mother, but the mistrust may not fully go away until the end of the tenth century sequence. Brian isn't hero-struck by Goliath. He's intimidated. (Of course this whole scene may go, since the marauders aren't gonna make it over the wall, here.)

The trio are NOT kids. They are the human equivalent of 19 years old, which would easily make them warriors in their own right. Not necessarily mature, but old enough to fight and not whine.

"Earned your claws" is an odd expression. I don't think I like it, but I'm not sure.

PAGE 8
Like "Old One" for Hudson, "Beautiful One" in reference to Demona is just an awkward substitute name. If Goliath must refer to her, it would be by relationship...something like "my love".

And they do love each other, so we don't need any pseudo-"Moonlighting" sparring. She would certainly not refer to him as "Presumptuous One."

And we probably don't need any 20th century airplane jargon, like Double Barrel Roll, etc.

Bronx is NOT Scooby Doo. Dogs don't laugh.

Cole and Goliath's exchange is awkward and confusing. What does Cole want revenge for? Having been beaten?

PAGE 9
Goliath's line, "As we owe you ours every day, for protecting us during the daylight hours", is redundant.

We need to clarify the wizard's reaction to Goliath. To be fair to [the previous writer], the Wizard [soon to be dubbed 'the Magus'] is a character who's been giving us trouble from the beginning. We thought of him as a frightened and prejudiced old man. Perhaps, it might work better if he were envious, insecure and young. Turning the haughty, young queen (who is easily swayed by appearance) against the gargoyles. Whatever you think works best. Believe it or not, Bronx might actually be useful in this scene. If he trotted after his master into the throne room and did something funny and obnoxious, that bit of comic relief would then be ammunition for the wizard's opinion, and the queen's disgust.

PAGE 10
Likewise, we need to understand the Queen's attitude. She is young and immature. Prejudiced, insecure too, perhaps. Perhaps she feels the need to prove her own superiority and fool herself into believing she doesn't need the 'goyles. It's unlikely that she would value the ugly captain much more than the gargoyles. In our original beat outline, we had the queen suggesting that after this fight with the marauders is over the captain's services also might not be valued so highly. (Perhaps she tells him he'll be reporting to the wizard from now on?) This might also help motivate the captain's betrayal.

PAGE 11
Goliath's line "We are what we are." is right on target. It's not that he loves how the queen treats him. But he will be true to himself w/or without praise. However, the phrase "do our jobs" is wrong. It's not a job. It's who he is.

Again, I'm confused by this reference to Cole's revenge.

In the three night structure of the original beat outline, the captain's betrayal (and the logistics that made it possible were much clearer). You might want to refer to that March outline or at least rearrange scenes so that the logistics work. Meanwhile, the captain's suggestion should be to take ALL of the gargoyles and give the marauders a good scare.

PAGE 12
Goliath figures he can be plenty scary on his own. Why leave the castle unguarded? (Still he's aware that going off alone is somewhat dangerous. That's part of the reason he leaves Demona behind.)

We don't get the line about only her "understanding the full responsibility."

Page 13
I don't mind "smoothskin" too much, but I don't see any point in reducing that to "smoothie". I certainly would rather have them use the word "Humans" over "pink ones".

Broadway volunteers some very awkward expository information about naming. But I think the exchange with Brian could help illustrate the idea simply with a few changes. For example:

BRIAN
You don't have names? How do you tell each other apart?

LEXINGTON
(simply)
We look different.

BRIAN
But what do you CALL each other?

BROOKLYN
Friend.

In other words, they don't have clever explanations for why they don't have names. They have simple reasons for why they don't need them.

PAGE 14
So all these substitute names like "One that always looks good" is just the kind of thing gargoyles would never do.

It probably would take a little more prodding to get the trio to act like monsters.

PAGE 15
Growling is kinda feeble.

Also didn't Goliath leave with Hudson in the previous scene? And should he order them specifically into the rookery or just out of the courtyard? And again, beware playing the trio too young. Here they come off as little kids.

Hudson and Goliath CANNOT run along the ground and catch an updraft with their wings. They could jump off a cliffside though.

PAGE 16
"Little Gargs?" I don't know.

This whole conversation comes off as artificial and expository.

And Bronx should be with them. How else does he survive? Which means he should probably have been with them in the previous scene with Brian/Robby as well.

PAGE 20
It's a tough scene, but we need dialogue that won't make us cringe.

Are the trio and Bronx waiting in shadows, or are they just now emerging from the rookery?

PAGE 21
Hudson's attitude is wrong. He's a soldier, not a kindly old man.

We're not sure why Goliath ran down to the rookery, but we know the results of the trip don't work. If Cole found the eggs in the rookery and took them away, than he would have also found Bronx and the trio and destroyed them. The idea with the eggs was to plant that they existed in one scene in the pilot and not refer to them again. Than they'd be fodder for a future episode.

Hudson's line: "There is never a reason good enough..." is confusing in this context. We shouldn't be afraid to use silence when words aren't necessary.

At the bottom, the Queen's last line has now made her thoroughly irredeemable. (Even if Brian is a sappy kid.) Now that she's been humbled, we should begin to see her transformation. She's witnessed some horrible things. Now that it's too late this young woman is going through some changes that might someday make her a wise ruler.

PAGE 22
Again, we need to make sense of the wizard. He can't be so irrational towards Gargoyles that it's unbelievable.

PAGE 23
Brian makes my teeth hurt.

PAGE 24
Brooklyn is coming across as whiny again. There's no finesse to any of this dialogue.

And the choreography of this scene makes little sense either. Why is Cole only now dragging the Queen into his tent. Again, you may want to refer to our original March-dated beat outline. In that, Cole and the Captain have the Queen and Wizard (the most valuable captives) isolated in their tent from the beginning. Cole taunts the wizard here by tearing pages out of the magic book and burning them. Then when gargoyles attack, Cole and Captain flee tent and campsite, leaving wizard behind, again isolated, believing the queen will be killed. Goliath follows the villains. Queen will thus be witness to his heroism. Wizard can blame gargoyles for causing queen's death (not for killing her) before she returns with Goliath. Not the only way to go, but it might work. This doesn't.

PAGE 25
Hopefully, by this time the Captain's motivation will be clearer. He had no love for the queen. He thought he was doing the gargoyles a favor by having the humans dragged away, leaving the castle to them. But Goliath insisted on leaving the gargoyles at the castle, and though the captain believed he could protect them from Cole, he was wrong. Cole was taking no chances, purely as a practical matter.

PAGE 26
What exactly are we seeing in silhouette?

Again, the choreography and the wizard's reaction and accusations make no sense.

PAGE 27
The way the wizard phrases the spell renders the spell useless, because the gargoyles did not betray the castle. However, it's good that the emphasis of the spell is on putting the gargoyles to sleep (in which case they always turn to stone) rather then having him magically turn them to stone (which would confuse the whole issue of whether or not gargoyles turn to stone magically or biologically).

By this time we need to believe in the Queen's change of heart and redemption. Even the wizard should be well chastened. This whole thing is coming across as too pat.

PAGE 28
This needs to be a sad, almost poetic moment.

PAGE 30
Do we want to use lasers to cut through mortar? Is this planting the available technology so that it doesn't seem artificial if we use it later, or are we making something that should be special into something mundane?

PAGE 31
Maybe so it's less artificial, the rain should be coming down from the beginning of this scene.

Here, at least, the gargoyles should explode out of their old skin.

PAGE 32
Don't know why we're moving inside for half a scene that could be much more dramatic and effective in the rain.

Obviously we can't use the name Charles Xavier. And we probably shouldn't use Xavier either. We've discussed the name XANATOS here, but if you have a better idea that's fine.

We don't know about giving Xavier the book of magic. Seems to us that the book may be useful for future stories (like the eggs). Besides if he has this book, what would keep him from turning them back into stone at the end of the pilot when things don't work out.

PAGE 33
Again, we're not sure if we can do THE PACK justice in the pilot. They've got that interesting "American Gladiator" back story that we don't seem to have room to service here. Though thematically it does fit nicely. Maybe in a future episode. If we do use the Pack, they shouldn't have any Cybernetic implants. And they shouldn't have CY.O.T.I. either. These were all additions that I discussed with Eric for their second and third appearances. We should never take this sort of stuff for granted.

I like the HARD HATS idea too, but I wonder if even this is necessary. If the attack is done by black garbed, masked commandos it would still serve it's purpose.

The attack should come very soon after the gargoyles are awakened. And they should be totally at sea. Helicopters. Guns. They don't know what the hell is going on. Pack...Hard Hats...Commandos...they'd be running circles around these 'goyles. If the gargoyles defend the castle at all, it should be purely reflexive. Again, it's what they are. But Goliath is certainly in no mood to protect any human or human interests. Goliath should be more confused than the audience.

And we definitely don't need any mid-raid chats between Xavier and Fox. Not sure if the bad guys need to talk at all.

PAGE 34
Nor do we need any old bad vaudeville schtick from Hyena. I know she's crazy, but please...

And Dingo can be cast to have an Australian accent w/out resorting to cliched dialogue like "Mate" or "Gander at the Goodies".

Also don't know why Fox waited so long to "coordinate" the attack.

We've been spelling Elisa's name with one "s". Eric consistently used two. I only bring this up, because it changes the pronunciation to something that sounds less Hispanic: his eh-LISS-uh as opposed to our eh-LEE-sah.

Our preliminary designs have shown Elisa with long hair. And we never thought of her as a Rosie O'Donnell type. We're hoping she's something special but doubt that's the way to take her.

What are the reactions to what's going on above their heads? It's high enough up that they can't see any details. And it can't be such a civic disaster of falling stone that the whole city would be up in arms.

PAGE 36
How does Xavier know Goliath's name? Maybe this was supposed to be a mistake on Xavier's part, a clue that he knows more than he claims. But Xavier is not that sloppy.

PAGE 37
Before Lex identifies the helicopter as a flying ship, should one of the others think it was some kind of creature? A metal dragon or something?

PAGE 38
Although Goliath is too decent not to be somewhat grateful to the man who woke them up, we don't think he's making any deals with any humans at this point. He's protecting his own.

PAGE 39
Could Elisa see "lasers and heavy weapons fire" from the ground? And Batman may call Gotham his city, but we doubt that Elisa is so full of herself to call New York, "MY city".

And when does Elisa investigate? That night? The next day? Why does she wait 24 hours?

PAGE 40
We're uncomfortable with the notion of introducing our cop by having her perform an illegal search. Perhaps, instead of being stonewalled, she is called in to investigate the theft. (Xavier knows she'll get nowhere, because there was no theft.)

PAGE 41
Bronx would not shake like Jello. He'd probably be a fairly effective watchdog. (Which is not to say we couldn't use him surprising her to comic effect.)

They just rebuilt the castle; should the ledge be giving way?

PAGE 42
As we discussed, Goliath can grab the flagpole, but it should snap off in his hand. He's not BATMAN. He's way to weighty. Maybe he uses his claws to dig into the side of the building and eventually slow his descent.

We need to develop the relationship between Goliath and Elisa slowly. His saving her life does create some kind of trust...but doesn't make friendship automatic. So she wouldn't just "know" that he "was only... protecting the castle."

PAGE 43
And she can't just shrug off the fact that she's "talking... to a bunch... of gargoyles." When and how will she hear their story, learn about them.

There's something promising about their exchange at the bottom of the page. Perhaps if it were more like...

GOLIATH
And who decides what is... "wrong"?

ELISA
Well, over the years... the people decided.

GOLIATH
You mean the humans decided.

Or perhaps something which indicates the tension.

PAGE 44
His need to know more about this world...is this his decision or something she leads him towards? In general, this all seems to be happening too fast. She seems to know his desire to stay with the castle before he's expressed it. She seems to know about the day/stone stuff. Why does she even want to enlist him at this point?

PAGE 45
Even at this stage, we need some solemnity to their growing bond.

And we need to avoid modern phrases like "case list" that we can't assume Goliath would understand.

Hudson asks a good question. Goliath's answer seems non-responsive to it.

And Elisa seems like a real user in her aside at the bottom. Besides, how does she know he'd make a great addition. And why are they waiting until tomorrow night. The way he's devised the last few scenes, it seems the night is still young.

PAGE 46
Why enter mid-scene if you're just gonna have Xavier re-explain things?

PAGE 47
As noted above, characters here don't seem to have their own voice. Hard to believe that Xavier would use the expression "for crying out loud."

If we do use the Pack, this could be a good time to emphasize the theme of appearances being deceiving. Xavier could even use the fact that Goliath is sensitive to this theme to his advantage.

The lines re: the t.v. set are appropriate in the sense that the gargoyles should not take the modern world for granted. But they don't have to be stupid either. Perhaps the more savant-like Lex can express things in terms the others can understand. For example, television might be a living tapestry. And a living tapestry might appeal to Hudson.

Is the holographic projector necessary?

PAGE 49
Xavier's never nervous. Let him do the reasoning and the talking.

PAGE 50
Bronx has no real wings. He cannot glide.

All this dialogue is "voiceless" and dull.

Back to the name thing. This is more what we had in mind:

ELISA
What do I call you guys?

HUDSON
Goliath is the only one the humans named.

ELISA
What? You have to have names.

HUDSON
Does the sky need a name? Does the river?

ELISA
The river's called the Hudson.

HUDSON
(w/a heavy sigh of capitulation)
Fine. Then I too will be "the Hudson".

GOLIATH
Don't worry. You'll get used to it.

ELISA
Good thing we weren't facing east.

PAGE 51
Or something like that. Then the kids decide that if Hudson (the big traditionalist) is gonna have a name than they'll get names too. We don't need to see them find their names. We'll just reveal their choices later. Also we don't need to find a rationale for Bronx's name. The trio can just come back with it. (They probably just made their choices based on the sound of the words.)

As for the various exits... Hudson is happy to guard the castle. That's what gargoyles do. Maybe he's going to study the new world through the Living Tapestry/T.V. that he's discovered. Goliath wants to explore it first hand. Hudson tells Goliath to take the dog with him, probably as a way to make sure Goliath is careful and safe. (Again the dog is not a liability to it's master. But good to have around in a bad situation.) But Hudson would express his concern subtly.

HUDSON
Take the dog with you.

GOLIATH
Why?

HUDSON
He needs the exercise.

Goliath gets the message. As for the trio, just remember that they are not "youngsters" with a curfew. Goliath can express a stern warning without treating them like children.

PAGE 52
Remember, Brooklyn is the natural leader of the trio.

I doubt Elisa says "Sheesh!"

PAGE 53
Now this whole thing with the robbery seems horribly contrived. If I didn't know better, I'd think Elisa had rigged it just as Xavier rigged the Pack attacks. The whole thing doesn't work. Certainly no one would rob the same apartment twice on the same night.

PAGE 54
Elisa seems to wear an agenda on her sleeve at the bottom of this page. She's coming off as a worse slickster than Xavier.

PAGE 55
Goliath's: "Those days are over!" response is ridiculous, because those days never existed.

And dogs don't laugh.

PAGE 56
I'm sure we don't want the female Hyena doing Rodney Dangerfield. Or any other bad old jokes.

PAGE 57
I've missed how Elisa made it to her car. I thought they were herding her.

And her line about "checking the transmission" is exactly the kind of pseudo-Spider-Man quips that we can forever do without.

Do we care how the Pack found Goliath?

Since Fox is telling a fib (which Xavier probably fed to her) in order to get Goliath's dander up, then "riches" misses the point entirely. What does Goliath know or care about wealth? Perhaps Fox brags that the stolen information will give them power to crush anyone who stands in their way. As for her excuse for chasing Goliath down...(Since it is literally contrived)...she could say that she doesn't like to leave any potential enemies alive. She couldn't finish him the other night because he was surrounded by friends. But now she can pick off all of the gargoyles one at a time. That would send a chill down Goliath's spine.

Also, it occurs to me that if you do replace the Pack w/masked commando types, than we could actually have a masked Xavier delivering this speech to Goliath. Maybe Bronx recognizes Xavier, but not being Scooby Doo, there's no way for Bronx to get his message across.

PAGE 58
So many problems.
--Elisa comes off as an idiot, here.
--None of us buy Goliath's sudden "surge of superhuman strength".
--What's Bronx doing in this scene?
--No running take offs into the air allowed.
--Bronx can't fly, so he couldn't follow anyway.

Also, this might be an opportunity to explain that Gargoyles glide and don't fly. As they are trying to escape, Elisa would ask the natural question:

ELISA
Fly us out of here!

GOLIATH
I can't.

ELISA
What do you mean you can't?! What're the wings
for?!

Or something like that. Given his limitation they either have to stand and fight or he has to start to climb high enough to get some air.

PAGE 59
Does the crowd attack Goliath or ask the Pack for autographs? Again, can we service the Pack in this pilot with all the other things we have to accomplish?

PAGE 60
If we do use the Pack, then Elisa has NOT just remembered who they are. And we need to understand why she doesn't immediately call for back-up or warrants for their arrest.
And this is a missed opportunity to play up the theme of judging by appearances.

This is also an opportunity to explain that Gargoyles daytime hibernation allows them to heal and recharge. Shed their damaged skin for a new one the next night.

PAGES 61 - 63
It seems odd that we haven't really intercut between the trio and Goliath.

This scene is a mess as well.
--Again, we need "voices" for the trio.
--We shouldn't rush to give them colloquialisms either. Over time, they SHOULD pick them up more readily than Goliath or Hudson. But let's make it make sense.
--We don't need to see the namings at all, or find rationales for the chosen names.
--Brooklyn appropriating some sunglasses seems like it might be a fun little touch. But how he gets a leather jacket and t-shirt over his wings is a bit perplexing.

PAGE 64
Although I'm not necessarily in love with it, the "Pleestameetcha" bit is the closest we come to believing these guys are learning to adapt, as opposed to automatically adapting with ease.

Dancing Gargoyles are a bitch to animate. Or so I've been told.

PAGE 65
We'd like to avoid the whole perplexing issue of whether or not the gargoyles can read. I tend to think that except for Goliath, they can't. (As it is, we're stretching in having them able to even speak and understand modern English.) In fact, if we feel like actually doing some good at some point, then a literacy episode featuring our trio and Hudson might be honestly worthwhile, but until we're prepared to really deal with the issue, we'd like to avoid it.

PAGE 66
This cluebuster scene has come off more contrived than it had to be.

PAGE 67
Again, it's unclear why Elisa doesn't simply file charges.

Maybe Hudson starts to give a shadowed Goliath the same guff he's been giving the trio, until Goliath steps into the light and he sees that Goliath has been wounded.

Again, wealth is not the issue. But physical power might be.

PAGE 68
And this grudge thing makes no sense. The Pack has battled Goliath twice and have basically won both battles. The only explanation that makes any kind of sense is the notion that they don't take any chances with potential threats.

Goliath could be honestly perplexed as to what to do...and decide to sleep on it.

The reunion should be an amazing moment. We need to believe in their love.

Xavier should say that he took the liberty of choosing the name Angelica for her. It's a lie that will ring truer.

PAGE 69
Angelica's story is not convincing. The attack was during the day. All gargoyles that were found were destroyed. We know it's a lie but we need a better one. Maybe just before sunrise, she got worried about Goliath and left the castle to find him. [The truth is that at the last minute she didn't trust the Captain to protect the frozen gargoyles from Cole. So she took off and hid somewhere.]

Xavier's story is no more convincing. Maybe he saw her picture in an art book and purchased her for his collection, long before he found out about Goliath. Or something.

Dialogue needs work, and Bronx is misused again.

PAGE 70
This is how Bronx should be used. Like a dog.

Goliath's "You just watch me" line, again misses an authentic voice for the character. He should also not gain immediate comfort with everyone's new names.

It's probably all right that Brooklyn has picked up the word "cool" and its usage by this time. But Goliath should not respond with another colloquialism, "Excuse me?", like he's Wayne or Garth. Does he think the tower is too cold or Brooklyn is? Actually, this whole exchange might be better suited for Hudson or cut entirely. I just feel like I've seen it in a 1969 Bob Hope film.

PAGE 71
As for Bronx going with Hudson, we can play off my earlier suggestion. This time Goliath tells Hudson to take the dog with him, because now he's worried about his old friend and the dog might come in handy. But he wouldn't dare to embarrass Hudson either.

GOLIATH
Oh, and Hudson, take the dog. He needs exercise.

We don't know why Angelica and Goliath need a helicopter.

And Demona's little slip about "crime rates" is too goofy. No reason for her to say something like this unless she was trying to tip him off.

PAGE 72
Maybe I'm over-reacting to the word, "lumbering", but for some reason I keep picturing an old fashioned and impractical Spruce Goose. We need to make this cool.

We obviously don't want to animate TEN GUARDS simultaneously.

Also we need a sense that Xavier out-fitted each of the three teams with a precise plan and understanding of their mission. He's too smart to let them all wing it.

PAGE 73
Why wouldn't the trio glide to the top of the tower/skyscraper? Why GROUND yourself by starting at the bottom. And again, they should already have a plan, provided by Xavier.

We also need to believe that these things are well-guarded. If CYBERCORP went to the trouble of splitting this information between three separate disks in three separate locations, including one mobile location, than they're not just gonna leave each disk laying around. Again, a plan from Xavier would help short-cut CyberCorp's security. But we also need to see some things that only a gargoyle's unique talents could accomplish.

Also, should we intercut between these three assaults, as opposed to basically seeing them one at a time?

PAGE 76
Bronx is not Lassie. He's not smart enough to have plans whispered in his ear.

PAGE 78
Would a police dispatcher really report "gray monsters with wings" over the radio?

Should the gargoyles have tried to bring the airship down on purpose, or did that happen when things didn't go quite according to plan?

There's a lot of fainting and near fainting in this script.

PAGE 79
Are there any other cops around?

Is this an airplane crash/explosion or a blimp/airship taking a slow fall?

The exchange between Goliath, Elisa and Demona is very confused. Demona's "little detective" line is perhaps a clue that she knows more than she's letting on. But if it's so bitter, so soon, than it's too big a clue. Perhaps she just points out that Elisa doesn't know the story and they don't have time to tell her now. At any rate, Elisa and Goliath have not built the relationship to justify the "how could you" line at the bottom of the page. Of course, by now they should have. Even if we have a better line of dialogue to illustrate it.

PAGE 80
We probably don't need the triumphant scenelet at the top.

And we don't know why Xavier would raise the question of legality.

Remember, from Goliath's point of view, Elisa simply doesn't know the whole story. He thinks explaining will be easy.

PAGE 81
Any visible seething on Demona's part will give her away.

It's probably o.k. if we've revealed Xavier by this time, but his line is SO on the head.

PAGE 82
Why is Goliath being cryptic?

The issue of law into one's own hands is awkward coming from a woman who's been playing so fast and loose.

And when she says, "I thought we had a common bond..." Well, as the script stands now, we don't believe it. And we should.

PAGE 83
Does Goliath know NYC like a cabby. Can't stage this scene so that he doesn't have an off-screen opportunity to find out where he's going.

Did Goliath mention Elisa's name on or off camera? Or did Xavier just find it out on his own?

Page 84
Again we need to be somewhat careful that we don't assume that Gargoyles are totally up-to-date on modern terminology.

We also need to make sure that Xavier's plan up to this point is clearly spelled out. (Xavier wanted two things. The information on the disks and the gargoyles' unquestioning obedience. He tricked them into stealing the disks, something he couldn't do without their talents. The logistics of which should probably be explained here.)

{At this point, Xavier will know that he's obviously not going to be able to secure the gargoyles' loyal service. That's all right though. He has a back-up plan. The info on the disks allows him to create new-and-improved steel gargoyles. (Perhaps it contained a formula for a rocket fuel that would allow them to fly--something more believable than anti-gravity disks.) Now, he doesn't need the real gargoyles. He'd still like to have them. But if he can't, he'll destroy them so that they can't work against him.}

PAGE 85
Don't know why Demona waited so long to shriek?

Goliath can't swoop up to the top of the roof from the ground.

PAGE 86
This whole conversation seems non-responsive. Exposition's flying, but they're not talking to each other. Goliath should probably figure some of this out for himself.

PAGE 87
Goliath suddenly sees Xavier as the devil, it seems. It just doesn't seem justified.

Xavier is not a war-monger per se. Demona's reasoning may need to be more general. She recognizes that Xavier is the worst kind of human. If she helps him gain more power, she's helping humanity destroy itself. Plus he gives her cool weapons.

As to her name, we think she should say something mysterious like..."The humans named me Demona long ago." No explanations necessary.

Page 88
Xavier set up this test. If Goliath had passed, great. But what did Xavier think would happen if he failed. He probably should have supplied Demona w/some mega-cannon kinda thing to wipe Goliath out. Goliath should barely escape with his and Elisa's life. And when they do escape, either Xavier or at least his assistant Owen should be revealed there also. It's not like Xavier trusts Demona 100%.

PAGE 89
We'll leave the design of the robots to the designers, but I'm guessing that if we really want to contrast the robots with our gargoyles, than they should be shiny and chrome-like, as opposed to Giger-bio-mechanical.

Xavier doesn't plan on selling anything. This is a guy who's favorite word is " Acquire". Acquire power; acquire people...anything he sets his sights on. What he can get by legitimate purchase, he'll buy; it's easier. What he can't buy, he'll take by subterfuge or force. What he can't take, (i.e. our gargoyles and their obedience) he'll destroy. He has no desire to destroy humanity. Or even the system of commerce and government that's put him where he is.

PAGE 90
Elisa's apartment is the first place that the Pack would look at this point. And in any case, the landlord is not gonna just let the floor cave in. Elisa should try to lead the Pack (or whoever) on a wild goose chase. Perhaps into a sculpture garden full of art decco gargoyles and the like. This should be a tense scene where she clearly putting her life on the line to saves all of the Gargoyles. This doesn't seem like a moment for ineffective comedy.

PAGE 91
Xavier should not be too ruffled by the Pack's failure. If they had gotten them during the day it would have saved him some trouble. But he's not worried. He has the castle. He knows they won't risk another day without coming to take it back.

PAGE 92
Although Elisa's statement that everyone has some good in them is a fine message, it seems off-point.

Is Elisa going to participate in this fight or just watch it? Is Bronx (who can't glide or fly) staying with her for protection, or are the Gargoyles carrying both of them into battle.

Demona's line about designing her own armaments only works if it's supposed to be a clue to how long she's been awake in the modern world. Otherwise, it's easier if it's just a gift from Xavier.

PAGE 93
Finally, Lexington has found a voice. Unfortunately, it belongs to Mr. Spock.

Xavier wouldn't sink to the level of calling Goliath a moron.

And it's ridiculous for Goliath to say that he betrayed him more than any human. First off, it's not true. The captain's betrayal was far worse. And secondly, the whole point of this thing is that it doesn't matter whether you're a human or not.

Also, the Pack, (Hard Hats, Commandos, whatever), should all be participating in this finale, unless they've truly been dealt with in some way during the daytime chase scene.

PAGE 94
This is a very weak fight. Audience won't be able to know about internal gyroscopes, and nobody is gonna buy the screwdriver stuff.

PAGE 95
Xavier is coming off very weak, here. Can't happen.

PAGE 96
Elisa can throw a pair of binoculars farther than she can clearly see without them. I don't think so.

PAGE 97
In all this morass, we've lost track of what Elisa is busting Xavier for. What does she have evidence of that she can reveal without simultaneously revealing the gargoyles?

PAGE 98
Goliath: "This time the threat came from within." It isn't just this time.

Goliath's attempt at a joke is lousy. And what's worse is the "clean up this town" line. He's neither the sheriff nor Batman. That's not his mindset. He's a protector of innocents, not a pro-active crime fighter.

PAGE 99
This is not how we want to go out. Tell me about it.

Well, that's it. (That's enough surely.) Good Luck.

Hudson's nearly renamed...

More old memos from the original development file...

At one point a Disney Executive came to me and asked me to rename Hudson as a personal favor. She had just had a son, whom she had named Hudson, and was concerned for reasons I can no longer clearly remember.

I wanted to be nice, but this was very problematic for us. Hudson's being named for the river was the way into the New York names for the whole clan. I couldn't see an easy way to make the change.

But in the spirit of being a team-player, we tried to give it a shot.

The following is a hand-written note in my files of possible names. The ones marked with an "x" were actually crossed out by me.

[Castle Logo] Walt Disney Television

Gregory David Weisman

FIRE - x
LONG - x
CONEY - x
SHERIDAN - x
COLUMBIA - x
HARLEM
ROCKEFELLER
MADISON - x
LAGUARDIA - x
SHEA - x
YANKEE - x
TRIBECA - x
SOHO
JERSEY
BATTERY - x
WASHINGTON - x
LINCOLN - x
VERRAZANO NARROWS - x
ROOSEVELT
EMPIRE - x
CHELSEA - x
GRAMMERCY - x
WALL ST. - x
BROAD ST. - x
BOWERY
NOHO - x
HOUSTON - x
BLEEKER - x

After jotting those down, I composed a memo for my boss to see if he wanted to make the change. He didn't have (or at any rate didn't use) e-mail back then. So traditionally, I would send the memo to myself. Print it out and then leave a hard copy with his assistant.

[4] From: Greg Weisman 9/13/93 12:44PM (616 bytes : 28 ln)

To: Greg Weisman, Paul Lacy
Subject: Hudson Names

------------------------------- Message Contents -----------------
Gary, here are some possible alternatives to the name Hudson:

Rockefeller
Roosevelt
Bowery
Harlem

SECOND CHOICES:
Madison
Soho
Jersey
LaGuardia
Shea
Yankee
Tribeca
Battery
Washington
Lincoln
Sheridan
Greenwich
Coney
Grammercy

He returned the same memo to me stamped from his office with the following little note:

RECEIVED BY
SEP 13 1993
GARY KRISEL'S OFFICE

Greg

WHY
1) Would "Hudson" pick his own name?
Keep this for the teens

GK

Having received that note, I then had to go into his office and remind him about the whole naming schema. The fact that we had names for the 'teens' and that the reason we were considering changing Hudson's name was because of the request of this one executive. Gary then considered all this and decided to stay the course. I apologized to the executive but told her we wouldn't be making a change. I felt bad -- a bit. But I also felt sure that we had chosen the correct names.

Another design memo...

We got more designs from WDAJ. Here's our response back to them...

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 8-26-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

This is in response to the designs sent in your fax dated August 21st. (We've looked over the originals you sent as well.) Although we have substantial notes, I want to emphasize that we're learning more with each submission. Things that did not occur to us initially are now becoming clearer. For reference purposes, I'm going to refer to the page numbers of the fax. In the future, you might want to number every drawing on every page for easier reference.

PAGE 3
Seeing the four Gargoyles together raised a number of interesting problems. Goliath seems to have lost some of the upper body bulk that made him so imposing. And Broadway seems to be on an equal level with Goliath. We need to make Goliath more special and unique. And although the trio of Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway must each be unique from each other, we'd like to see the three of them as a natural grouping. As it stands now, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn all seem of a piece, with Lexington as the odd man out.

I might propose the following possible solutions:
--Let's give greater stature to Goliath relative to the other three, particularly Broadway.
--Let's make Goliath the only one of the four who tends to stand erect like a man. If Broadway and Brooklyn existed in a crouch as Lex does, we could cheat all three of them larger and still leave Goliath with greater stature.
--We already have two unique wing constructions (Goliath's and Lexington's), but we could stand to create a third type. Leaving either Brooklyn or Broadway as is, if we gave the other a third style of wing, then when we looked at the trio of younger gargoyles as a unit, each of them would have a unique wing-type and Lexington wouldn't seem like such the odd man out.
--If I haven't mentioned it before, we think of Goliath as being in his late twenties (in Gargoyle years). We think of the trio as being between 17 and 19 years old (in Gargoyle years). Keeping them youthful should also help in making them into a visible unit and still distinguish them from Goliath. Broadway, in particular is looking a bit too old.

PAGES 4 and 5
We'd like to make Goliath more imposing in size. Perhaps by slightly reducing the size of his head relative to his shoulders and chest. Bulking up his upper body.

We're also divided over here on the issue of the tail. Some of us feel it adds an inhuman element to help make Goliath cool and different. Others, just feel it's another thing that'll need to be animated.

Love the way the wings drape on page 5.

PAGE 6
One of Gary Krisel's concerns is that the face have depth. He doesn't want it to look like a mask connected to Goliath's thick neck. I'm not sure I see that problem in these drawings, but it's something to watch out for.

Another important point is Goliath's attitude and expression. He is highly intelligent. Noble. Gary was also concerned that some of the expressions here (and on page 4) made him look a bit like a thug.

A third concern is whether or not we might still have too much pencil mileage in the facial design to animate effectively.

PAGE 7
I love the top two head shots. Goliath looks terrific surprised. And I think the trick with the pupils vanishing in anger is very effective with all the characters. I also like Goliath amused in the lower right corner. But I'm not sure about the lower left shot. I'm not clear what emotion is being expressed. Something about the teeth and maybe the eyes is unappealing. I apologize for not being able to pin down my problem further. Maybe we should reserve his jagged teeth for extreme expressions? I don't know.

PAGE 8
Both poses, particularly the kneeling shot, are wonderful. In the first pose, however, I think we should be cheating his wing-span much, much larger.

Page 9
Great.

Page 10
I like his slimmer "teen" build, but perhaps Brooklyn should "stand" in more of a crouch. Not simply bad posture, but keeping at least three limbs on the ground.

PAGE 11
Again, Brooklyn needs to remain 18 or 19 years old. Particularly in the lower left and right corners he seems much older than that. We also probably need a greater range of expressions. Remember, he is the irrepressible leader of the trio. Out to find adventure. Are his horns too far apart? As opposed to being slicked back like his cool young hair, are the horns scooping up, giving him a more demonic look than necessary? Have we created a mouth that inhibits expression too much? You can see, we have more questions than answers, still.

PAGE 12
I think Lexington works as a basically horizontal character, but we don't want to make him too diminutive relative to the others...stretch him out in poses. Remember that his middle set of limbs function as arms as well as legs.

His wing design may be more complicated than necessary. We may not need the rib construction coming out of his back. For him, it may be enough that he has this wing like webbing between his two upper sets of limbs. Perhaps it's more elastic than draping.

Again, we need to keep him young. Lex is highly curious about the modern world around him. Everything interests him and fills him with wonder. He's more naive and innocent than the others. These qualities should help compensate for his slightly more demonic look.

PAGE 13
My favorite shot is the third from the left on the bottom row. And as usual, the angry glowing eye "battle" version works great. The upper right shot is cute. And I like the surprised version in the second from the left on the bottom row. But we're not getting the sense of wonder or excitement from him in the upper left and upper middle. And I don't really care for the sinister shot of him in the lower left corner. He's not angry or primed for battle (we know this cause his eyes aren't glowing), so I can't figure out what would give him that kind of nasty, almost hungry expression out of a battle context. Again, it may be that using jagged teeth outside of battle mode makes them too demonic. Another question: do his cheekbones need to be so prominent?

PAGES 14
Body-wise, Broadway looks pretty good outside of a context of scale with the others. We like his gut, his sumo-like quality. But like Brooklyn and Lex, he should be a croucher. Like the center on an American football team. And we may want to scale him down; he doesn't necessarily need to be that tall or broad relative to Goliath.

Our biggest concern is that he looks way too old. Mostly in the face, but when scaled with Goliath, as on page 3, in the body as well.

PAGE 15
Again, in all these shots, he looks too old. In some ways, he looks too much like Goliath. He should be a nineteen year old party animal. He just likes to have a great time. Always laughing. The only shot that really works for us here is glowing eyes shot in the lower left corner. In battle, it's appropriate to have the jaw distended and grotesque. In the others, we might try to give him more youth by making his head shape more horizontal than vertical. Less cheekbones, maybe. Rounder, perhaps? I'm not sure.

That's it for now. Looking forward to seeing your next pass.

Thanks. Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Eddy Houchins, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

More correspondence with Tokyo...

Another old memo from my development files. It's pretty self-explanatory.

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 8-4-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

Just a quick note to let you know we all looked at the Clayface episode of Batman that you sent us. We thought it was terrific. If you are confident you can animate to this level, I'm confident we have a great show in the works.

Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

Another memo to Japan...

Here's a follow-up memo on the character designs to the one I just sent praising "Designer E". Mr. Tokunaga sent us a note asking for feedback on the other five designers who had made an attempt on the Trio and Goliath....

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 7-26-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

Per your request, a quick note on Designs A-D and F, with a reminder that just because the designs didn't suit our purposes, doesn't mean they weren't worthwhile attempts.

Designer A has the action feel of the show, but to be honest, the designs on Goliath, Brooklyn and Lexington were too unappealing. Although the characters are monsters, they need to be heroic monsters. It's a tightrope we're walking, and this group didn't seem redeemable. Broadway was more appealing, but a little goofy looking, and he seemed to be scaled too large.

Designer B was too cartoony on Lexington, Broadway and even Brooklyn. We're looking for more of an action feel. Goliath, particularly in B-7 and B-8, seemed too human. Like a man wearing a mask. Not unique enough. B-10 was a nice pose, though.

Designer C was just too cartoony. And the trio of smaller gargoyles looked more like aliens from another planet than medieval stone creatures.

Designer D's Goliath was an interesting interpretation. D-1, D-2 and D-3 were all nice poses that gave us the feel we were looking for. But in D-3, Goliath seemed too reminiscient of the Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast; and we're already a bit too close to that concept for comfort. We don't want to emphasize the similarities further than necessary. And though it seems like a minor point, we all really didn't like his chicken feet. And again, the gargoyle trio seemed too cartoony.

Designer F obviously stuck the closest to our original designs. Even closer than Designer E, whose work we liked. They seem to be simplified tracings, without the wings. I'm not sure how to describe my response, but the magic just seemed to be out of the drawings. The characters seemed unappealing, unexpressive and flat. Everything that E wasn't.

The "GOLIATH SPECIAL by Hashimoto" didn't grab us. Again he seemed like a normal man, an older man, with pointy ears and big hair.

Hope all the above is helpful.

Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

Design work memo...

The following is a memo I sent to Walt Disney Japan. They sent us character designs (based on inspirational work by Greg Guler and Dave Schwartz) on Goliath, Lex, Broadway and Brooklyn by at least five different designers. (Maybe more, I can't remember.) We immediately liked designer E (Kazuyoshi Takeuchi) and he eventually became the lead character designer for the series' first season.

I know what follows may be a tad frustrating since it refers to art you can't see. But I thought you might be interested anyway.

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 7-21-93

From: Greg Weisman

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

We were very excited to receive the preliminary design work on the four major gargoyle characters. Designer "E" seemed to come the closest to capturing our vision of the series. His or her work impressed us, but begs the question whether or not you believe we could effectively animate designs that are this complex?

If the answer is yes, we'd like to see Designer "E" continue his development of the characters, focusing particularly on heads, faces and wing design. As a secondary concern, we might attempt line drawings, turnarounds and even some color.

Gary and Lenora have asked me to gather together a few notes, thoughts and suggestions for you. So here goes...

GOLIATH
E-1, E-3. A major concern for all of us is figuring out how the wings attach to the gargoyles' backs so that there is a real feeling of believable musculature. How does it look from the rear, for example, when we can't hide where they attach behind a shoulder blade?

E-3, E-4. When the wings are spread, and particularly when they are in flight, we probably want to cheat them larger, so they fill the screen except from an extreme distance. We really need to believe they are large enough to carry his weight.

E-3. We like the dramatic posing on all the shots. But in E-3, he looks satanic rather than heroic. Occasionally, we'd like to see a more classically heroic pose. We want to make sure that Goliath and the others don't look consistently demonic.

E-5. It's lovely how the wings are draped here.

E-2, E-5, E-6. This is a great start in terms of facial expressions. We'd like to see more of them...a greater range of expressions. Intelligent. Laughing. Pensive. Wry. Perplexed. Noble. Mildly amused. Etc.

Gary also has some concerns about the head's design. He wants to make sure that the head or face does not lose its "depth"; (meaning "depth" as a measurement like "width" or "height", not "depth" as a personality trait). I'm not sure I see this problem myself, but I might suggest keeping the ears back, the jawline long and the jaw square.

E-3, E-5. We want to make sure that the hair on his head has mass, but falls like hair, and doesn't look like a removable helmet. The key here might be in the way it is layered.

I've included some old designs done by one of our artists last year. They should give you some ideas on color, simplicity, etc. Don't feel bound by them. I've numbered them for discussion, Disney-1, Disney-2, etc.

In Disney-1, Gary felt very comfortable with the simplicity of the lines and design of the body. But he did not like the head, again feeling it did not have enough depth.

It's also important to set the balance between the animalistic and human in all of these characters. Some of the "Disney" drawings may be too human in the face. And there's a nice animalistic quality about some of the "E" drawings. But we need to be careful we're not losing Goliath's nobility either. We need to strike a balance.

Disney-1 gives an example of the classically heroic pose that we will need on occasion.

Disney-1 also serves to illustrate how we'd like the hair to fall.

Other questions raised by Disney-1, include whether or not Goliath looks broad enough in chest and shoulders?

Also, whether he should have Disney-1's high weight-lifter's belt around his stomach, or whether we should lower it to his waist as in Disney-4?

Disney-4 also illustrates a head shape that may have the depth that Gary's looking for.

Also, notice the arm hair in Disney-1. It's always been a bit problematic, a bit stiff. But we think it might add something in color. Helps break up the design a bit. But we're not sure if it's worth it. It might be something for all of you to experiment with.

Disney-5 helps illustrate how the length of Goliath's wings will constantly be cheated to suit the situation or pose. But they should always give the illusion that if they were spread out to full size, the wing-span would be fairly enormous.

BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON & BROADWAY
E-7, E-9, E-10. We have similar concerns for Brooklyn & Broadway, regarding wing construction, attachment and musculature.

E-8. Lexington's glider-wings in the down-shot seem to be coming out of his stomach and the bottoms of his arms. We prefer how it looks in the up-shot, where they are webbed between his back and the tops of his arms. I like how the wings are attached to both sets of arms, not just the upper arms as in our original designs. A big improvement.

E-7, E-8, E-9. As for faces, Gary is concerned about animating emotions and expressions when we don't have pupils in their eyes. We discussed the possibility that they normally have pupils, but that when they are in battle, their eyes glow solidly. Again we'd like to see a range of expressions. Particularly because it is so easy for the trio (Lexington especially) to look demonic, we'd like to see some softer, gentler expressions.

E-10. We're also interested in the trio's scale relative to Goliath. Goliath should still be the biggest of them by some visible amount.

Thanks again for all your efforts. Good luck on the next go 'round.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

An old memo...

It's been awhile, but I'd like to try and continue to post old memos and such from my development file.

This is where we left off in July of 1993...

[2] From: Bruce Cranston 7/16/93 10:57AM (801 bytes: 10 ln)

To: Suzanne Prescott
cc: Greg Weisman, Paul Lacy, Adrienne Bello

Subject: CYBERCORP.

------------------------------- Message Contents -------------------------------

In our outline for the Gargoyle's pilot, we refer to a fictional robotics company named CYBERCORP. Adrienne suggested that I have you check that there's no real company by that name. They aren't bad guys or anything. The bad guys steal something from them. But I guess we should check. Does it cost money to check7

It isn't necessary to check it at this point, especially if the clearance fee is more than $100.00 or so.
Please just remember to do a check once we get the go-ahead to production.

Memo for "Avalon, Parts Two and Three"

In preparation for my ramblings, here's the memo written to Brynne Chandler Reaves & Lydia C. Marano on the last two parts of their Avalon outline. I've added a few [notes], to indicate some handwritten changes to the document.

WEISMAN 2-2-95

Notes on "Avalon, Parts Two and Three" Outline...

GENERAL

ARCHMAGESES
For purposes of clarity, I'm going to refer to the new and improved Archmage as Archmage+. There will be a number of scenes where the Archmage and the Archmage+ will be appearing together. And a few scenes (including one scene repeated twice) where two Archmage+s will appear together. For those scenes I'll refer to them as 1st Archmage+ and 2nd Archmage+, but they'll look exactly alike.

CLARITY
It goes without saying that any time travel episode is going to be complex. So make an extra effort to be as clear as possible. Both in stage description for the artists, and in dialogue for the audience. I know we resist expository dialogue generally. But as you'll see below, the Archmage+ needs to explain things to the Archmage. So it won't feel artificial.

ACT BREAKS
I'm going to leave that up to you. See how the scripts progress.

BEAT SHEET
"Avalon, Part Two"
1. Pick up right where we left off. Pretty much your beat XX. Tom does need to explain that he still refers to the gargoyles as
"eggs". It's an old habit. He apologizes if it caused confusion, but they have been in Avalon long enough for him to grow old. Of course the eggs hatched some time ago.

Also none of the wounded gargoyles should be at the shore. We'll see them back at the palace.

Also don't forget that Angela has Goliath's coloring, which doesn't escape Elisa's notice. And on your Beat XXB1c. the line should expand to: "Daughters and sons belong to all of us, Elisa. That is the gargoyle way."

2. At Oberon's palace. Pretty much your beat XXI. But keep in mind, that the palace is in crisis mode. Acting as a hospital of sorts, to many wounded gargoyles.

Elisa should notice the tenderness between Tom and Katharine when they are reunited. She should also notice the pain it causes the Magus.

Don't forget to describe the Magus as 72 years old. Also describe Gabriel as looking like a young Othello with Desdemona's coloring.

The fact that the young gargoyles act more human than the trio may be too fine a point to get across. They've been raised by humans, but as a practical matter a lot of what we would think of as human is really just contemporary. And obviously, the trio are much more contemporary than these gargoyles.

You need some reason why Tribeca doesn't already have a name. Maybe, Katharine and Tom had tried not to name any of the gargoyles at first, but it just got too difficult for them with the sentient ones. But they didn't bother to name the Beasts? [We dropped the Tribecca notion eventually, and Tribeca became Boudicca. -GW 5/21/02]

Also, both Gabriel and Tribeca will be present in beat 1. So you may want to introduce them there along with Angela. That frees Beat 2 to reintro Katharine and the Magus. (Magus may be acting as a healer, using natural remedies and polstices.)

When Magus makes his point about Oberon's Children having been absent for nearly 1000 years, he might slip in a subtle reference to the sleeping King. (i.e. Arthur.) Something like: "The island's totally deserted except for the sleeping king." And then before anyone has a chance to ask about the sleeping king, something forces a change of topic.

3. Pretty much your beat XXII. Except that the Magus and Tom should probably be the ones to go into detail. The Magus knew the Archmage the best. He'd recognize that the Archmage has evolved into the Archmage+. If the Magus wasn't positive that the Grimorum cannot be brought onto Avalon, he'd swear that the Archmage+ had it. Plus when the Archmage appeared, he carried the Phoenix Gate and wore the Eye of Odin. Goliath realizes that those items must have been stolen from him.

Tom led the first disastrous attack. He saw Demona (doesn't know her name, but recognized her as Goliath's former love) plus some human in strange armor who used a weapon that fired lightning (Macbeth) and the Weird Sisters who once guarded the island. Again Goliath and Elisa can put two and two together. Macbeth and Demona never escaped the Weird Sisters. The Sisters have been using them all along. When Demona and Macbeth stole Coldstone, it was just a cover to steal the Eye, the Gate and the Grimorum. They must have given the items to the Archmage.

All Tom knows is that the Archmage+ is incredibly powerful. So powerful, he sometimes seemed to be in two places at once.

4. Enemy camp. Obviously, somewhere on the island, but where? In or in front of a cave? Someplace pleasant and relaxing, since the villains have every reason to be confident? I'll call it the GROTTO for easy reference, but anywhere is fine. [In the margin, I wrote: "Vengeance Angle"]

Present are the 3 Weird Sisters, Demona, Macbeth and... TWO Archmage+s. Each carries his own Phoenix Gate. And each wears his own Eye, (maybe imbedded like a third eye in his forehead?). They are dressed in black. Their beards are short. Maybe a metal skullcap (ala Merlin in EXCALIBUR). All very dangerous looking in contrast to the cliché Archmage that we knew.

1st Archmage+ says to 2nd Archmage+: "Shouldn't you be going?"
2nd Archmage+: "I suppose I should." 1st Archmage+: "You know what to do?" 2nd Archmage+: "Of course. I watched you do it." So the 2nd Archmage+ raises his Phoenix Gate and says the Phoenix Gate spell, disappearing into the past (see "Vows").

5. We follow 2nd Archmage+ back to 984 A.D. (He can even say: "First stop: 984 A.D." He can have a lot of attitude.) He arrives just outside the cave and secretly watches the battle between young Goliath, Hudson, Demona and the original Archmage ("Long Way To Morning"). (Again, he can fill us in, by commenting on it wryly to himself.) The Archmage loses the Grimorum and falls into the bottomless fissure, the Archmage+ uses the Phoenix Gate to pop into the fissure. He then uses the gate to transport himself and the Archmage to safety.

6. A hilltop or someplace safe. The Phoenix Gate deposits both the Archmage and the Archmage+ a few feet above the ground. The Archmage+ floats. He says "Freeze". And the Archmage freezes in mid-air. The Archmage+ says "Feathers". And a huge pile of feathers appears right below the Archmage. Archmage+: "Resume". And the Archmage tumbles into the pile of feathers.

We get some sputtering and outrage from the Archmage. And introductions. Archmage+ is his future self. Archmage realizes that means sometime in the future he accomplishes his goal of getting the Eye and the Gate. But what of the Grimorum? Archmage wants Archmage+ to use the Gate to go back and take the Grimorum back from the Gargoyles. Archmage+ says they can't accomplish their goals that way because they didn't accomplish it that way. History cannot be changed. But don't worry. We'll get the Grimorum. He uses the Gate and they both vanish again. [In the margins, by these two paragraphs, I wrote: "You want power, revenge. Allies Soldiers Weapons Base]

7. They reappear in 995 A.D. just in time to see the Magus use the Grimorum to reflect the Weird Sister's spell, turning all three of them into owls. (Archmage+ continues to use one word commands like "Float" and "Invisible" to keep them above water and undetectable. His command of magic is that complete. He can also fill Archmage and audience in on where and when they are, fairly naturally in dialogue.) Archmage recognizes his former apprentice the Magus, who's obviously grown into a potent sorcerer. But the fool just hands over the Grimorum, his source of Power, to Finella. Archmage thinks he understands now. They'll take the Grimorum from Finella. But Archmage+ says no. That's not why they're here. They're here to recruit. [In the margin, I again wrote: "Allies"]

Once all the various skiffs have moved on, the Archmage+ finds the three owls and transforms them back into the Weird Sisters. The Sisters are furious that they were defeated. When Oberon forced all of his "Children" to mingle with the mortals of the real world he had left the guarding of Avalon in their supposedly capable hands. Oberon will be very pissed off that they failed. Archmage+ offers them a chance to get even. It will take time though. The Weird Sisters don't mind. Time is one thing they have plenty of. "Then," says the Archmage+, "I will see you again in twenty-five years." And with that, he uses the gate and vanishes with the Archmage.

8. The year is 1020 A.D. ("City of Stone, Part One") and the Archmages appear via the gate. They meet up with the Weird Sisters. The Archmage+ shows them a vision of the forty year old Demona, the fifteen year old Macbeth and their enemy the HUNTER. [In the margin, I wrote: "Soldiers"] The Archmage+ wants the Weird Sisters to help Demona and Macbeth defeat the Hunter. Weird Sisters remind him that Oberon's Law prevents them from directly intervening in the lives of mortals. Archmage+ knows they are magically prevented from breaking Oberon's Law. But he also knows that they can bend it quite a bit. O.K., fine. But how does helping Demona and Macbeth do anything to help the Sisters and the Archmages achieve their goals? Archmage+ tells them that in order to achieve these goals, they will need powerful warriors, fighters adept at sorcery and weaponry, fighters we can control. These two are the perfect candidates. Guide them, help them, protect them for the next twenty years. The Archmage+ will return then with further instructions. The Weird Sisters agree and depart.

Archmage isn't too happy about this. He recognizes Demona as another of his former apprentices. One who betrayed him by losing the Phoenix Gate "years, uh... decades ago." Why are we helping her? Archmage+ tells him not to worry. This is our revenge. Believe me, we're not doing the gargoyle any favors. And again, he uses the Phoenix Gate to make them both disappear.

9. They reappear in 1040. The Weird Sisters report that they have done their best to aide Demona and Macbeth. The first Hunter is dead. But there is a new one now who's even more dangerous. Archmage+ is very pleased. He knows that Demona and Macbeth will arrive soon. He instructs the Sisters to guide them into making a magical pact that will link their life energy together. We will need them alive and vital centuries from now. We must make them immortal. [In the margin, I again wrote: "Soldiers".]

Sisters and Archmage are confused. Immortal warriors are powerful. How will we control them? Trust me, says Archmage+.

Archmage+ renders him and the Archmage invisible, just in time to see the fifty year old Demona and the 35 year old Macbeth enter. ("City of Stone, Part 3") We see the Weird Sisters link them magically.

Afterwards, the Sisters explain that the job is done. Neither can die, unless one kills the other. Excellent, says the Archmage+. Keep an eye on the two of them. Also keep an eye out for the Grimorum, the Gate and the Eye of Odin. The Weird Sisters are confused. Archmage+ has the Eye and the Gate. Archmage+ laughs. But I didn't have them. Not until you brought them to me. We'll meet again on an island called "Manhattan"... in 955 years.

Archmage: "Nine-HUNDRED and fifty-five years?!!" But before he can protest, the Archmage+ uses the gate to transport them both away.

10. 1995. Manhattan. Weird Sisters as NYC Fashion Models rendezvous at Tavern on the Green, with the Archmages. Archmage+ says: "Disguise". And he and the Archmage, seem to be wearing modern clothes. Over a pleasant candlelit dinner, the Sisters fill us in. All three magical talismans have fallen into the hands of this gargoyle... and an image of Goliath appears in the candlelight. Archmage recognizes Goliath, and can't believe that he survived this far into the future. Archmage+ says, "This isn't the future yet."

Archmage+ asks about Demona and Macbeth. Sisters respond that both are phenomenal fighters, proficient with modern technology and weaponry and half-decent sorcerers to boot. Plus each warrior has his or her own agenda. Demona is determined to wipe out humanity. And Macbeth is equally determined to wipe out Demona, even though he knows it will cost him his own life. They will be very difficult to control. Archmage+: "Yes, yes, but what are they up to now?" [And yet again, I wrote "Soldiers" in the margin.] The Sisters believe that Demona is about to cast a powerful spell to turn everyone in Manhattan into stone. Macbeth will take this opportunity to hunt her down.

Archmage+ is very pleased. He advises the Sisters to help Goliath defeat both Demona and Macbeth. Make your final move after they've fought each other, but before Macbeth has a chance to end their lives. At that point they will be weakened enough for the Sisters to put a sleep spell on them. Then bring them to me. Where? Macbeth's home on this island.

[Optional, if you have space: The sisters exit. Archmage+ asks the Archmage if he'd like to watch the action. Archmage says yes. Archmage+ says: "Somehow I knew that."]

Archmage+ uses Gate and both disappear.

[Optional, if you have space:
11. Invisible Archmages watch a replay of the final scenes from the end of City of Stone, Part Four. The ones where the Weird Sisters help Goliath talk Macbeth out of killing Demona. Put them both to sleep. Tell Goliath that they will take responsibility for them and vanish with them. The Archmages depart as well.]

12. Macbeth's mansion. The Archmages appear as do the Sisters with Macbeth and Demona. The latter two are sound asleep. The Archmage+ whispers to the sleeping warriors. He "suggests" that they work together to steal the Grimorum, the Gate and the Eye from Goliath. The Sisters provide the clock tower location, and suggest that they steal Coldstone as well. That way the theft of the talismans won't be detected immediately. Demona and Macbeth leave together to carry out this plan, completely fogged about how it came to them or why they are working together. [By the margin of both paragraphs 12 & 13, I wrote: "Weapons".]

Archmage asks about Coldstone. Weird Sisters say he is another warrior that might be of use to them. Archmage+ shakes his head. Coldstone wasn't part of the plan, so he can't be now. If his presence aids in the theft of the talismans, fine. But he must be separated from Demona and Macbeth, before the next stage of the plan can be set in motion. They will meet again at the watery door to Avalon.

[Optional:
13. Invisible Archmages watch Demona and Macbeth steal the Eye, the Grimorum and the Gate from the secret hiding place in the clocktower from "High Noon".]

14. The Archmages reappear above misty water. Archmage+ says: "Boat". And a boat magically appears beneath them. They float down to it. While they wait for the sisters, Archmage demands to know the plan. Archmage+ finally fills him in: "Soon the sisters will bring you the talismans. The ultimate magical power that you've always dreamed of. [In the margin, I wrote: "Base".] But once you get that power, what will you do with it?" Archmage is baffled. He hadn't thought that far ahead. He mutters something about conquering Scotland. Archmage+ suggests conquering the world, but warns that it will not be easy. The modern world is a place of science not sorcery. Magic is potent, but so are modern weapons. The Archmage will need a safe place to launch his attacks from. That haven is Avalon. The only problem is Avalon is occupied. Fortunately, Oberon and his children have abandoned it. But there are a few humans and gargoyles living there. Our first job is to kill them. The Archmage is very pleased with his counterpart's plan.

The Sisters join them on the raft, along with entranced Demona, entranced Macbeth and the three talismans. The sisters warn the Archmages that the Gate and the Eye are not a problem, but the Grimorum is a book of human sorcery. It cannot enter Avalon. Archmage+ is unconcerned: "Give him the Eye." Seline gives the Archmage the Eye of Odin. The Archmage puts it on. The Archmage+ explains that the Eye grants power and insight. It makes the wearer a more powerful version of himself. It usually takes weeks to transform an individual, but the Archmage+ has the ability to speed things up. "Change," he says. And the Archmage begins to metamorphose -- painfully -- into another Archmage+.

When the metamorphosis is complete, the 1st Archmage+ tells the 2nd Archmage+ that he now has the power of the world's greatest and, frankly, most evil sorcerer. But he lacks the knowledge. The exhausted 2nd Archmage+ gets the message. He asks Phoebe to give him the Grimorum. He uses his new-found power to swallow it hole. The 1st Archmage+ is very pleased. Now he is one with the magic, and there's no need to worry about bringing the Grimorum to Avalon. Even Luna is impressed. She hands the 2nd Archmage+ the Phoenix Gate, completing his power. 1st Archmage+: Shall we proceed?

[Note: I circled paragraphs 15, 16 and the first paragraph of 17 and wrote: "One Beat" in the margin and "But show it to us." By 15, I also wrote "Base".]

15. The 1st Archmage+ materializes in the palace of Oberon, in front of Katharine, Tom, the Magus. He tells them to "Make your peace, for at sundown, you die." He uses the gate to disappear again.

16. He reappears in the Grotto, joining the 2nd Archmage+, the Sisters, Demona and Macbeth. One of them spots Angela and Gabriel watching them and sneaking away. Demona asks if she should stop them. No, says the 1st Archmage+, they'll be back.

17. Sure enough, Tom the Guardian leads the gargoyles against the villains. It's a disaster. Many gargoyles are wounded. None of them can fight on a level with either Macbeth or Demona. Let alone the futuristic weapons that they bring. The Weird Sisters avoid direct interference, but still manage to use their magic to ensnare their opponents in their environment. And the Archmage+ is everywhere, popping in and out, using the Gate, vanishing. Using magic. He's devastating. (During the fight, play the two Archmage+s so that Tom might say something like "It was like he could be in two places at once." As opposed to Tom realizing that there are two of them.)

Tom is forced to sound retreat.

[I marked the rest of seventeen and 18 and wrote "combine" in the margin.]

Demona and Macbeth want to pursue and finish them off. But the 1st Archmage+ is supremely confident. Why bother? If we wait until Dawn, the gargoyles will all be stone. Only the Guardian, the Princess and the Magus will be left to defend the palace. It's so much easier to sit back and enjoy the cool breeze for a few more hours. [In the margin, I wrote: "Waiting for Goliath. Important. Vengeance. He wants Goliath.]

Luna asks: "What about the sleeping King?" The 2nd Archmage+ is surprised. He had heard the legends of the sleeping king, but didn't know that they were true. Seline assures him the King is on the island, asleep. Phoebe warns that the King's power was once very great. 1st Archmage+: "Then when once we've taken the island, we'll just make sure he never wakes up."

18. Time cut to a few hours later.
1st Archmage+ says to 2nd Archmage+: "Shouldn't you be going?"
2nd Archmage+: "I suppose I should." 1st Archmage+: "You know what to do?" 2nd Archmage+: "Of course. I watched you do it." So the 2nd Archmage+ raises his Phoenix Gate and says the Phoenix Gate spell, disappearing into the past. Obviously, this is an exact repeat of Beat 4, and finally leaves us with only one Archmage+ for the rest of the story. Archmage+ makes some comment about how the other one was getting on his nerves.

19. AND Finally, we return to the present and resume from beat 3 with our heroes in the palace. Tom picks up his story where he left off. After, there disastrous mass attack on the Grotto, they all realized they were in deep shit. Sunrise was only six hours away. They thought about hiding the gargoyles, but realized there was no place on the island where the Weird Sisters couldn't find them. They had to get help. Tom ventured out by skiff to the real world. As he had done once every century. The skiff landed at Wyvern, and Tom was shocked to see that the castle was missing. He went to a local village, where he was told that the castle had been moved to the top of a skyscraper in a place called NEW York. Tom picks up on the word "skyscraper". Is it possible that the castle has risen above the clouds? One villager's seen it in New York. It's definitely above some of the clouds. (You can show this village scene in flashback if you have space or time.) Tom returns to his skiff, returns to Avalon, and launches off again, praying that Avalon will send him to this NEW York. (Hinting that he doesn't have a lot of control.)

Sure enough he found New York and Goliath and brought him and his friends back. But the mission took two days in the real world. That's two hours here on Avalon. There's only four hours left until sunrise.

Tom apologizes to Goliath. He's tried to train the gargoyles to be warriors, but he's self-taught himself. Plus Avalon always seemed so peaceful, etc. Protective instinct must never have developed. Maybe if Goliath led the next attack... But Goliath is sure Tom did his best. Sometimes a direct attack isn't the answer. Sometimes stealth is required. If we can steal the Gate and the Eye back from the Archmage, we may have a chance. Goliath will need someone who knows the island. Gabriel and Angela both volunteer. Fine. Goliath asks the Magus to come as well. His magic might prove useful. The Magus cannot meet Goliath's gaze. He hesitates. Finally, he says that without the Grimorum he has no magic and would be a liability to Goliath. Elisa wants to come, but Goliath asks her to stay behind. If this mission fails, Tom and the others will need her expertise on dealing with Demona and Macbeth. Goliath, Angela and Gabriel depart. After they go, Elisa turns to the Magus and asks: Tell me about the sleeping King.

20. They sneak into the grotto and for a beat it looks like they might succeed in their mission. But no. They are caught. Woops. [In the margin, I wrote: "Arch+ sees them coming."]

END PART TWO

START PART THREE
21. Looks like curtains for our three heroes. Goliath even resorts to making an appeal to Demona and Macbeth. Can't they see they're being used. Does it suit Macbeth's sense of honor to wait 'til dawn to slaughter innocent gargoyles. Demona hates humans, but why would she help the Archmage hurt her own children. It doesn't make sense to Demona and Macbeth. They start to come out of the spell. But the Archmage+ is just amused by Goliath's pleas. With one word: "Obey", Demona and Macbeth are again his to command. Fortunately, rescue comes from another quarter. Bronx and Tribeca. To some extent, the rescue only succeeds because the Archmage+ is complacently amused. He likes watching the little mice run the maze. In a few hours it'll be all over anyway.

22. Goliath and Co. return to the palace. The mission was a failure.

[Note: the following paragraph was crossed out.]
But not a complete failure, says Angela. In the confusion, she got away with the Phoenix Gate. Angela wants to use it to go back in time and stop the Archmage+ before he arrives. Can't be done, explains Goliath. History cannot be changed. He's learned that lesson, painfully. Can they escape to the future? They'd be abandoning Avalon. The situation they arrived in might be even worse. Better to make their stand now. Well could they use it flee the island? This time Gabriel says no. This is his home, the only one he's ever known. He will protect it, not abandon it! Goliath is impressed. The gargoyle way is strong in Gabriel. But Angela's disappointed. Stealing the gate didn't help very much. Goliath assures her, that it helped a lot. They've taken away the Archmage's mobility. And gained some for themselves. The Gate doesn't have to be used for time travel. It can be used just to move instantly from place to place. But how will that help? Goliath isn't sure yet.

Hey, where's Elisa and the Magus?

23. Elisa and the Magus journey to the "Hollow Hill" where sleeps the sleeping King. (It's Merlin who sleeps in the Crystal Cave. At least by my research.) Maybe they have some time to talk. Elisa has noticed that Tom and Katharine are close. The Magus tells her that as the boy Tom became a man, he and the Princess fell in love. (Again, if you have the room and/or the inclination, you can show this in flashback.) Now they are husband and wife. They raised the gargoyles as their own children. Elisa wonders where the Magus fits in. I don't, he says. But his feelings for Katharine are also obvious to Elisa. How could he stand to stay and watch them grow closer? He had to stay. He had done an unforgivable thing when he cast his spell upon the gargoyles. He owed it to Goliath to tend the eggs. His pain is not important.

24. They arrive at the Hollow Hill. They see the sleeping King. He lies on a bed, surrounded by arms and gold and jewels. They move to wake him, but are intercepted by two hollow suits of armor. Elisa empties her revolver into one, but it's pretty useless. Suddenly the Magus casts a rhyming spell. (Rhyming in English, not Latin.) The armor is defeated, though it leaves the Magus drained. Elisa is shocked. She thought the Magus had lost his magic. He had. Centuries ago when he lost the Grimorum. But the island is full of magic. It is everywhere: in the wind, in the water, in the trees and certainly in this hollow hill. His training makes him sensitive to it, but summoning it without study is very hard. It's an unpredictable and often unsuccessful endeavor. He cannot be counted on.

Elisa approaches the sleeping King. For the very first time in this three parter, we hear someone speak his name. Elisa: "Arthur Pendragon. King Arthur. You are needed." And King Arthur awakens. It's that easy.

Suddenly Goliath and Angela appear via the Phoenix Gate. [The phrase 'via the Phoenix Gate' was crossed out.] What did Elisa think she was doing? Elisa realized that Demona and Macbeth are two of the greatest warriors of all time. It's a hard truth, but even Goliath has never actually bested either of them. The best he ever did was foil their plans or fight them to a draw. They needed someone better. They needed the best warrior who ever lived. Arthur clears his throat. Would someone please tell him what's going on? Angela's excited. In a minute, she says, and using the Gate, teleports them all away. ["and using the Gate, teleports them all away." was crossed out.]

[From this point out, stuff in {} is crossed out material.]

25. Back at the Grotto, The Archmage+ {has only just discovered that the gate is missing. He} is furious, and his demeanor does not improve when the Sisters wryly blame his own hybris and complacency. Fine, he says. Then we will attack now.

26. Back at the palace, Arthur's just heard the gist of the situation. He's not thrilled. This isn't what he was supposed to be awakened for. He doesn't have Excalibur. He doesn't have his knights or Merlin... But he looks around the room and sees the faces of those who need him. He will do what he can. Gabriel enters. They're out of time. The villains approach. Arthur will lead Tom, Elisa and Gabriel against Macbeth and Demona. Goliath and Angela will {use the Gate to} face off against the Archmage. Katharine, Bronx and Tribeca (and whatever other healthy N.D. Gargoyles we've shown) will stay with the wounded gargoyles and do their best to protect them. But who will take on the Three Weird Sisters. I will, says the Magus.

27. The battle. O.K. This is going to be a big one. You want to have space for it, cause it's the fight we've been building towards for THIRTY-SIX EPISODES, so we've got to make it worthwhile. (Also we have tons and tons of epiloguing in this one, so we need the audience to feel like they want a good long rest after the mega-battle is done.) You'll do a lot of intercutting between the various fronts. But for clarity here, I'll take them one at a time. (Also feel free to adjust or expand on any of the details... I'm just trying to give a big picture overview.)

ARTHUR, ELISA, GABRIEL, GUARDIAN vs. MACBETH & DEMONA
The Archmage+ has sent his two warriors as an advance force to soften up the enemy. Macbeth is impressed by this new warrior. He asks his name, and when he hears that it's Arthur, we can see that he's momentarily shaken by it. He's an Arthur-buff. A great admirer. Well. He's always wanted to test himself against the best. For his part, Arthur's quick to figure out that when either Macbeth or Demona are hurt, both feel the pain. He instructs his troops to use that to their advantage. Demona realizes that she must put some distance between herself and Macbeth. She'll still feel his pain, but not as severely. She gets past Arthur's force and into the castle. Arthur sends Gabe, Elisa and Tom in after her. He'll handle Macbeth.

ARTHUR VS. MACBETH
Macbeth is quickly deprived of his lightning gun. Both wind up using medieval weapons. It may even come down to hand to hand combat. Finally Arthur wins.

DEMONA vs. KATHARINE, BRONX, TRIBECA
Demona gets into the palace. She is confronted by Bronx and Tribeca, but they don't stop her. She finds her way to Katharine and the wounded gargoyles. We need to see by this time that Demona's bloodlust is so high, that there's no chance of talking her down again. The spell on her has worked her into such a froth that she can't see that what she's doing is against her own interests. She's a brainwashed assassin. Katharine is ready to die for her charges, and it looks like she might have to.

DEMONA vs. GABRIEL, GUARDIAN, ELISA
They arrive just in time, Gabriel and Guardian save Katharine temporarily. But they're no real match for Demona either. She's about to kill them all, when Elisa says wouldn't you rather have me. And there it is. Someone Demona hates so much, that no spell is more powerful. She leaps at Elisa, giving the others time to regroup. Ultimately, Demona is taken down by sheer force of numbers. Maybe Elisa gives the takedown blow.

MAGUS vs. THE WEIRD SISTERS.
They can't believe this old, impotent man is challenging them again. Without his precious Grimorum, no less. But he rises to the occasion. It's a sorcerers battle, so have a lot of fun with it. And the Magus wins by trapping them. Probably in some kind of iron or some kind of chain. (But here's a thought, that only just occurred to me. Should the Magus give his life in this fight, i.e. be mortally wounded during it. Maybe drained beyond any hope of recovery? He would be the one real casualty of the battle. Goliath would of course forgive him on his death bed as the old man passed away, finally at peace, maybe with Katharine's kiss on his lips. I know we planned on sending him off with Arthur, but I can't help wondering if we didn't make this fight to easy on our heroes. Isn't it necessary for them to lose something truly precious, i.e. the life of a friend? I have very mixed feelings, cause I like the character a lot. I could probably be swayed either way. Before you go to script on part three, talk this over with both me and Adrienne [Bello, our S&P executive].)

GOLIATH, ANGELA vs. ARCHMAGE+
Goliath attacks directly. And is really being trounced. The Archmage+ has not forgotten how Goliath defeated him back in "Long Way to Morning". He's really punishing Goliath. But that was part of the plan. Angela uses the gate to {bop in, and} throw the overconfident Archmage+ off balance. {She and} Goliath {toss the gate back and forth between them. They vanish and reappear.} The Archmage+'s magic still is formidable, but the tactic is infuriating him, which makes him sloppy. Finally, Goliath manages to grab the Eye and wrench it off the Archmage+. (Note: As in Eye of the Beholder, this should be damn painful for Goliath.) The Archmage+ immediately metamorphoses back into the old Archmage. But he's not through yet. He's still got all the power of the Grimorum inside him. But without the Eye to contain that power, he has a problem. You see you're not supposed to bring human magic onto Avalon. The Grimorum is burning him up from the inside out. Nothing gory, but he is destroyed in magical flames. It is over.

28. Epilogue time. Goliath realizes that the Eye and the Gate were not meant for mortals to use. He swears never to use either of them again. (He'll break this promise later, but it at least explains why he doesn't immediately use the Gate to take him, Elisa and Bronx back to Manhattan). He and Angela gladly walk back to the palace.

29. It is now only ten minutes until sunrise. Decisions must be made. They ask Goliath if it is safe for the Gargoyles out in the real world. Unfortunately, no. Not really. They invite him to bring the other gargoyles back to Avalon. No. That won't work either. Some of them must continue to live in the real world. Learn to live with humans. It will take time, but if they don't try, the outside world will never be safe for gargoyles again. Given that Goliath is willing to take any gargoyle who wants to leave. From here, you can pretty much pick up back on your outline: BEAT XXXX. (Though obviously if we kill the Magus, Arthur's leaving alone.)

30. Pretty much your Beat XXXXI. Arthur (and the Magus?) leave first. Also we have to deal with Macbeth and Demona. They can still be unconscious. The trapped Weird Sisters are forced to free Demona and Macbeth from the spell. They tell our heroes that neither warrior will remember anything that happened to them since the spell was first cast in City of Stone, Part Four. Somehow, we have to rationalize sending them off unconscious on a skiff of their own. Good luck. Finally our 4 travelers leave for Manhattan, poling out into the misty water. But Tom knows from experience that "Avalon does not take you where you want to go. Avalon takes you where you need to be."

That's it. Call me with any problems or questions, and in any case let's talk about the Magus.

"THE PRICE": "Final" Draft Script

This script is listed as a "Final Draft" after I took my pass on it. But skimming it, I'm not sure how final it actually was. It may have still gone through some changes, both before and after record.

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

Written by:
Michael Reaves

Based on comic book material by:
Lee Nordling

Revised draft: January 25, 1995
Final draft: February 1, 1995

Story Editor:
Michael Reaves

WALT DISNEY TV ANIMATION

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

CAST LIST

REGULARS
GOLIATH
HUDSON There is also a stone statue of Hudson in a typical sleep pose.
BROOKLYN
BROADWAY
LEXINGTON
ELISA

XANATOS
OWEN

RECURRING
MACBETH Actually a robot, (actually two robots), but visually indistinguishable from the real thing. He only speaks four lines, using them over and over.
BANQUO From 4319-022. Seven lines.
FLEANCE From 4319-022. Five lines.
STEEL CLAN ROBOT No lines.

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - NIGHT - PANORAMIC POV

A spectacular gargoyle's eye view of the city, covered by a thick pelt of snow. CAMERA MOVES SLOWLY through the maze of skyscrapers. Below, headlights and neon signs play prismatic colors. An enchanting vista.

LEXINGTON (V.O.)
Boy, the city sure is different
when it snows.

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As GOLIATH, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON and HUDSON ride the night wind.

BROOKLYN
Yeah -- it's colder.

FAVOR GOLIATH - PANNING

He permits himself a small smile.

GOLIATH
It's almost dawn, and we've
completed our patrol. Let's
return to the clock tower for
a good day's sleep.

FAVOR HUDSON - PANNING

He looks contented.

HUDSON
Not a bad life, all things
considered ...

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Suddenly an ELECTRO-BLAST CRACKLES THROUGH SHOT, missing them narrowly and causing them all to scatter.

GARGOYLES
(surprised cries)

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN

He recovers his equilibrium, looks O.S. and reacts in shock.

BROOKLYN
Yeah ...

HIS POV

of MACBETH, swooping around on a return path, riding a small open-air flying platform supported and propelled by a repulsor device.

BROOKLYN (O.S. CONT'D)
Too bad he wants to end it!

WIDE ANGLE - INCLUDE OTHERS

Hovering as Macbeth heads toward them again, aiming one of his electro-magnetic guns. (NOTE: We will learn later that this Macbeth is a robot, one of several constructed by Xanatos. For now, treat him as the real thing.)

HUDSON
(shocked)
Macbeth!

They scatter as another LIGHTENING BLAST RIPS THROUGH SHOT.

MACBETH
I've been looking for you!

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He folds his wings, drops, peels out O.S. During this:

GOLIATH
Spread out! Attack formation!

EXTREME WIDE

The gargoyles split up and swoop toward Macbeth from opposite directions in a pincers strategy.

GOLIATH
I don't know how you escaped
the Weird Sisters, Macbeth --

BROOKLYN
But you're gonna wish you hadn't!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Macbeth's platform suddenly shoots straight up out of the gargoyles' paths. Our guys only manage to avoid colliding with each other by adroit maneuvering.

GARGOYLES
(startled cries)

FOLLOW MACBETH

He does a steep glide and turn, FIRING down O.S. as he does.

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He narrowly dodges a CRACKLING RAY. As he flies:

GOLIATH
Why do you attack us? What do
you want?

ON MACBETH - FLYING

Intent, murder in his eyes. He raises the gun again.

MACBETH
(laughs)
Trophies!

He sends a ray CRACKLING directly at us.

REVERSE ANGLE - BROOKLYN

The ray ZAPS him, causing him to fall O.S.

BROOKLYN
(stunned grunt)

ON GOLIATH

Reacting in shock. He dives down O.S.

ON BROOKLYN

Semi-stunned, dropping in a steep glide, about to pass out entirely. Goliath swoops INTO SHOT and grabs him.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOF

He glides to it and deposits his stunned comrade safely on a snow-covered ledge. (STORYBOARD NOTE: During these last shots the eastern horizon is starting to glow with Pre-Dawn light.)

CLOSER ON GOLIATH

He launches himself from the rooftop again.

ON LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY

Heading toward us, grim and intent.

BROADWAY
We'd better finish this fast. The
sun's about to come up.

ON MACBETH

He triggers a control on the platform's console. A small canister shoots out O.S. from the platform's base.

TRACK WITH LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY

The canister sails IN, BURSTS apart and releases a rapidly-expanding net that settles over them. They react, but too late.

LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
(surprised walla)

ANOTHER ANGLE

The net ELECTRIFIES, shocking both of them into unconsciousness.

LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
(cries of pain)

ON ROOFTOP

They tumble down and CRASH on the rooftop beside the unconscious Brooklyn.

FOLLOW HUDSON

He catches an updraft and wheels about, drawing his sword.

TRACK WITH MACBETH

As he flies. Hudson is heading right for him.

HUDSON
(growls)

CLOSER ON MACBETH

He dips his hand into one of his coat's many pockets, and as Hudson comes at him he hurls a small packet right into the gargoyle's face. The packet hits Hudson and BURSTS, scattering a sparkling mist of white glittery powder all over him.

HUDSON
(surprised sputter)

ON FLYING PLATFORM

The craft drops, letting Hudson sail on O.S.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOFTOP

Temporarily blinded, Hudson CRASHES on the rooftop alongside the still-unconscious Trio.

HUDSON
(impact grunt)

He rises to his knees, frustrated. He pulls the net off of Broadway and Lex.

TRACK WITH PLATFORM

Suddenly Goliath, eyes white, drops down INTO SHOT above Macbeth, grabbing him from behind in a bear hug.

GOLIATH
(growls)

ANOTHER ANGLE

Macbeth manages to twist his weapon back. He fires it right into Goliath's side, blasting him off the platform.

MACBETH
You'll have to do better than that!

GOLIATH
(cry of pain)

ON SKYSCRAPER PINNACLE

Goliath manages to land atop the pinnacle of a building which rises to a needle-like spire. He grips the spire with one hand, head drooping in a dazed slump, looking like King Kong just before taking that final dive.

GOLIATH
(dazed groan)

TRACK WITH MACBETH

He turns on the platform and aims his ray gun down O.S.

MACBETH
Farewell, my enemies!

ANGLE INCLUDES

RACK FOCUS from the lightening gun and Macbeth's hand in EXTREME f.g. to the trio and Hudson in b.g.

CLOSER ON HUDSON AND TRIO

The Trio's starting to revive, but won't recover in time. Hudson protectively steps between them and Macbeth.

TRIO
(groans)

ON GOLIATH

He reacts in horror as he sees the O.S. Macbeth's intention. His eyes blaze white.

GOLIATH
No!

Clinging to the pinnacle with one hand and both feet, he SNAPS off the six-foot long tip of the spire.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath hurls the spire like a javelin with all his strength.

GOLIATH
(effort grunt)

DRAMATIC ANGLE - MACBETH

Just as he's about to trigger the ray gun the spire arrows INTO SHOT and SKEWERS the flying platform's control console. There's a huge ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE, and the platform goes into a dive.

WIDE ANGLE

All the gargoyles (the trio have recovered by now) stare in shock as the platform passes out of view behind a skyscraper. Followed seconds later by a huge EXPLOSION. Flaming debris flies back into shot.

ON HUDSON AND TRIO

They move so that they can see where Macbeth crashed. Flickering light paints their faces and bodies. Goliath drops down INTO SHOT beside them.

LEXINGTON
I don't believe it.

ON WRECKAGE

A mini-inferno of twisted, flaming metal. No one could have survived that crash.

HUDSON
Believe it, lad. Macbeth's dead.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Staring grimly O.S. Behind him the sky is roseate with dawn.

GOLIATH
I had no choice. He would have
killed the four of you.

Hudson moves IN beside him, absently brushing at the sparkling dust on his hauberk as he speaks:

HUDSON
No one's questioning you, Goliath.
(beat)
We'd best prepare to sleep right
here. Dawn is upon us.

WIDE ANGLE

The gargoyles assume threatening positions as the sun rises.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE - PANORAMIC VIEW - DAY (TIME LAPSE)

TIME LAPSE shot showing the whole day compressed to a few seconds. Clouds boil and writhe across the sky, lights wink on and off in windows, shadows flow like spilled ink as the sun arcs quickly from east to west. As evening shadows lengthen

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - ON GARGOYLES - DUSK

Start with Goliath and PAN across the gargoyles as they each in turn SHATTER their carapaces and stretch in awakening.

GARGOYLES (EXCEPT HUDSON)
(wake up)

PAN STOPS on Hudson; it's his turn to awaken. But nothing happens. The last flicker of sunlight disappears from his adamantine form. (Note: the stone Hudson is holding his sword, which is not stone.) REFIELD TO INCLUDE Goliath and the trio, staring at him in stunned disbelief.

GOLIATH
Hudson ...?

BROADWAY
What's wrong? Why doesn't he
wake up?

FAVOR GOLIATH

As he approaches, gingerly touching the old warrior's stone face. He's totally at a loss, and maybe there's just a bit of panic in his face and voice -- this is totally unprecedented.

GOLIATH
I-I don't know ...

CLOSER

He looks closer. The fading light shows some glittery powder on Hudson's granite shoulder.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
Wait ... last night Macbeth
threw some kind of powder on
Hudson.

BROOKLYN
Powder?

FAVOR GOLIATH

He peers closely at the powder.

GOLIATH
Sorcery. A magical concoction
to keep him asleep.

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Goliath and the trio stand around the stone Hudson.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
And it's up to us to find a cure.

LEXINGTON
But how? Macbeth's dead --
who else would know about the
powder?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Having come to a decision.

GOLIATH
Lexington and I will go to Macbeth's
mansion and question his lackeys.
Brooklyn, Broadway, stay here
and protect Hudson.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOFTOP'S EDGE

Goliath and Lex prepare for flight. Brooklyn puts a hand on Goliath's arm.

BROOKLYN
(worried)
Goliath -- what if there is no
cure?

Goliath is in some denial.

GOLIATH
There is a cure. There must be.

DRAMATIC ANGLE

Goliath and Lexington take off from the rooftop and glide O.S. Brooklyn and Broadway watch him go.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. MACBETH'S MANSION - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

PUSH IN and

CUT TO:

INT. MANSION'S CONTROL ROOM - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

Here we find BANQUO and FLEANCE (last seen in #4319-22), desultorily playing poker. Behind them the monitor screens show various views of the grounds and mansion interior. Banquo tosses a poker chip on the pile. PUSH IN SLOWLY on them as they play.

BANQUO
Raise.
(beat)
Y'know, when we took this job,
the Boss promised us lots of
action.
(looks around;
disgusted)
Right.

FLEANCE
Relax. We could use a little peace
and quiet.
(beat)
See you and raise.

ANOTHER ANGLE

She tosses two chips in. Banquo scowls and looks at his cards.

BANQUO
Okay, whatcha got?

ANGLE INCLUDES MONITOR

Showing a view from the roof. Fleance grins and starts to lay her cards down.

FLEANCE
Read 'em and --

Suddenly an ALARM KLAXON SOUNDS and the words INTRUDER ALERT begin flashing in red over the roof view on the screen. PUSH IN quickly on the screen as Banquo and Fleance react and look. We can see the winged shape of Lexington silhouetted against the moon, approaching.

ON FLEANCE AND BANQUO

Startled at first; then they grin at each other.

FLEANCE
One'a those gargoyles.

BANQUO
All right. C'mon!

They head O.S. The door SLAMS. PUSH IN on another one of the monitors, this one covering one of the mansion's walls. We can see a shadowy shape climbing it. Another KLAXON SOUNDS and the red INTRUDER ALERT sign starts flashing on that screen too ...

CUT TO:

EXT. MACBETH'S ROOF - NIGHT

The two electromagnetic cannons used in #4319-022 rise up from the roof as Fleance and Banquo dash IN and man one each.

ON FLEANCE

POWERING UP the gun. A green screen with a blip on it appears on a console before her.

FLEANCE
In range in forty seconds ...

Goliath's hand reaches IN behind her, grabs her by the collar and yanks her O.S.

FLEANCE (CONT'D)
(startled cry)

ON BANQUO

Seated at his cannon. He turns, looks. ANGLE ADJUSTS TO INCLUDE the other cannon, now manned by Goliath and aimed right at him.

BANQUO
Hey! What in --?

Banquo dives out of the way, just as Goliath BLASTS Banquo's cannon with a lightening bolt.

BANQUO (CONT'D)
(dive)

CLOSER

Banquo covers his head to protect himself from flying debris. He looks O.S. and reacts.

BANQUO
(cry of fear)

HIS POV

Goliath, face in shadow save for his glowing eyes. He looks quite fearsome. Lex glides IN and lands beside him.

GOLIATH, LEXINGTON
(growls)

ON BANQUO

Goliath steps IN, seizes Banquo by the shirt front and lifts him up. He gets in the terrified guard's face and growls:

GOLIATH
I want your master's magic -- all
of it -- now.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Banquo is obviously too scared to lie.

BANQUO
I don't know where he keeps it!

Goliath drops him on top of his unconscious comrade and turns to Lex.

GOLIATH
We must search the house.
(beat; to Banquo)
Find another job. Macbeth
won't be coming back.

He and Lexington turn away as we

CUT TO:

EXT. - ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Broadway and Brooklyn flank the stone Hudson.

BROADWAY
I'm worried. Even if Goliath
finds something at Macbeth's place,
how are we gonna make it work?
None of us are sorcerors.

ON BROOKLYN

Suddenly, determined.

BROOKLYN
Let's just focus on protecting Hudson.
We can't let anything happen to him.

CUT TO:

INT. CAGE - NIGHT

Large, like a high-tech version of an old lion cage, lit by a single bulb. Where it's located is not immediately clear -- all is darkness about it. Within the cage is a figure in sillouette at first. Then the figure steps into the light. It is Hudson, flesh and blood and pissed as hell. (MODEL NOTE: Hudson does not have his sword.)

HUDSON
(raging)
You can't keep me in here
forever!

He grabs the bars; they deliver an ELECTRICAL SHOCK that knocks him back.

HUDSON
(cry of pain)

CLOSER ON HIM

Angrier than we've ever seen him.

HUDSON
I'll get out, d'you hear me?!
I'll get out, and when I do --!

FADE OUT

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. CAGE - HUDSON -CONTINUOUS

We still don't know where we are. Hudson is pacing his cage like a trapped tiger.

CLOSE ON HIS FEET

We can see now that he's walking on bars that raise the cage perhaps six inches above a steel tray; basically a larger version of the tray used in pet cages to catch droppings (although this is for a different purpose). Scattered on the tray below the level of the bars where Hudson walks are the stone shards of his skin, shed this past dawn.

WIDE ANGLE

An O.S. CREAK OF HINGES stops his pacing. He looks O.S. and reacts grimly.

HUDSON
About time you came back.

ANOTHER ANGLE

We can tell now that we're in a dim-lit dungeon chamber. A shadowy figure approaches the cage as Hudson continues:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Why did you kidnap me? What
d'you want of me?

ON SHADOWED FIGURE

Approaching. As he speaks he steps into the range of light from the cage's bulb and is revealed to be XANATOS. OWEN shadows him silently. He's holding a small box in one hand.

XANATOS
Nothing much, Hudson. Just --
your skin.

TWO SHOT - XANATOS AND HUDSON

Hudson glares warily at Xanatos.

HUDSON
You'll have the devil's own
task getting it.

FAVOR XANATOS

Urbane and unconcerned as ever.

XANATOS
Really?

Xanatos pulls a remote control from his pocket. He presses the button. The tray beneath Hudson's cage automatically SLIDES out. Xanatos crouches and picks up a few long shards of stone exoderm. He presses the button again, and the tray returns to it's normal position.

XANATOS
Gee, that wasn't as hard as you made
it sound.

HUDSON
So you're through with me.

XANATOS
Not quite. I need your help to
conduct a small experiment.

Hudson glowers at Xanatos, who presses another button on the remote. In b.g. a STEEL CLAN ROBOT carries a huge wooden crate IN and sets it down near the cage.

HUDSON
Experiment? What kind of
experiment?

ANOTHER ANGLE

The robot RIPS open the wood as though it were Christmas wrapping, showing us what's inside the crate: a huge iron cauldron, obviously very old. The robot turns and EXITS.

FAVOR XANATOS AND HUDSON

Xanatos stares at it with tense excitement; Hudson is wary.

HUDSON
What'll that be, then?

FAVOR XANATOS

He runs his hand over the cauldron's lip. We can see Celtic runes engraved along the iron side.

XANATOS
The Cauldron Of Life. The legend
says it grants whoever bathes in
it "will live as long as the mountain
stones."

FAVOR HUDSON

He raises an eyebrow.

HUDSON
Ah. You wish to be ... immortal?

XANATOS
Of course. What good are all the
riches on Earth if Fox and I can't
enjoy them forever?

FAVOR HUDSON

He's settled into a poker face.

HUDSON
And how do I fit into all this?

ON XANATOS

Xanatos leans toward the cage and holds up the shards of exoderm.

XANATOS
One of the key ingredients in
the cauldron's brew is the
stone skin of a gargoyle.

ON HUDSON

He moves in too, getting face to face with Xanatos without touching the electrified bars.

HUDSON
These ancient talismans are often
dangerous, Xanatos. I would've
thought your experience with
the Eye Of Odin had taught you
that.

XANATOS
You could be right. Maybe it
would be a good idea to test
the brew first.
(beat; evil grin)
Any volunteers?

The Steel Clan robot reenters, now carrying a large plastic container filled with water. Xanatos and Owen watch, as the robot pours the water into the cauldron. Xanatos holds the handful of stone skin fragments in one hand.

FAVOR HUDSON

He scowls.

HUDSON
You mean to dunk me in that
oversized chamber pot?

CLOSE ON CAULDRON

Xanatos tosses the shards in the water, and they DISSOLVE in a mystical flash. A beat; then, though no fire burns beneath the cauldron, the water apparently begins to BOIL.

XANATOS
Eventually. The legend says the
skin must boil for a night and
a day first.

FAVOR XANATOS

His usual smug, superior self. He glances at his watch.

XANATOS (CONT'D)
So be patient. If the procedure
is successful, I'll release you.

FAVOR HUDSON

He trusts Xanatos about as far as he can comfortably spit a rat.

HUDSON
And if it isn't ...?

CLOSE ON XANATOS

He smiles.

XANATOS
Then you'll have the privilege
of giving your life for science.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Furious.

HUDSON
My clan will never rest until
they know where I am!

Xanatos is spectacularly unconcerned.

XANATOS
But they already know where
you are.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

Off his puzzled look, we PAN AWAY TO FRAME Owen as he opens the box and takes out a tiny statue of Hudson in sleep pose. He holds it up.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Who stares at it.

XANATOS
This is just a sculptor's model,
of course. The real thing is
life-size -- and very life-like.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

He's screwed, and he knows it.

XANATOS (CONT'D O.S.)
(sticking it to him)
The hardest part was finding a
replica for your sword.

Xanatos turns to Owen.

XANATOS
Still there's no sense being
complacent. Let's make sure
the other gargoyles don't think
to look for him here.

WIDE

Xanatos exits. The robot remains on guard. Owen is about to follow, when Hudson calls out to him.

HUDSON
And what's in this for you?

FAVOR OWEN

OWEN
Service is it's own reward.
I would have thought you knew
that.

XANATOS (O.S.)
Owen, I want the gargoyles distracted.

He nods slightly, poker-faced as usual.

OWEN
Understood, sir.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where Brooklyn and Broadway are guarding "Hudson". An ELECTRIC BOLT ZAPS the roof near them, scorching it and startling both of them.

BROOKLYN, BROADWAY
(surprised cries)

ANGLE INCLUDES

Macbeth, swooping toward them on another flying platform. Broadway and Brooklyn are astounded to see that he's apparently risen from the dead.

BROOKLYN
It can't be!

BROADWAY
There's no way he could've
survived that crash!

WIDE ANGLE

Macbeth ZAPS another bolt at them; this one comes perilously close to the Hudson statue. Both Brooklyn and Broadway are forced to leap from the rooftop to avoid it.

BROOKLYN
Well, for a ghost he sure
packs a wallop!

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As they swoop away from the rooftop.

BROADWAY
We've got to make him follow
us -- lead him away from Hudson!

Another POWER BOLT SCORCHES between them. They look back. REFIELD TO INCLUDE Macbeth, zooming after them.

BROOKLYN
I don't think that'll be a
problem!

ON MACBETH

He aims his weapon and FIRES again. During this:

MACBETH
(re-use line #??)
I've been looking for you!

In the heat of battle, neither gargoyle notices that he says this exactly the same way he said it before. Macbeth GAINS O.S. as we

CUT TO:

INT. ELISA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

WIDE

Goliath and Lex have been filling Elisa in.

ELISA
Any luck finding the cure at
Macbeth's house?

GOLIATH
No. We searched from attic to
cellar, but found nothing.

CLOSE ON GOLIATH

This is a real last resort for him.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
There's only one other hope.
We need a sorceress. We need
Demona.

ON ELISA

She's stunned by his request.

GOLIATH (CONT'D O.S.)
You are a detective. You must help
us find her.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Elisa puts a hand on his shoulder.

ELISA
Goliath, you know I'd do anything to
help. But honestly, I wouldn't even
know where to start looking.

GOLIATH
We can't just give up!

ELISA
We won't. I promise.

ANGLE INCLUDES

the brightening eastern horizon. Lex glances at it.

LEXINGTON
It's not long to sunrise. We should
head back. Brooklyn and Broadway will
be worried.

FAVOR ELISA AND GOLIATH

ELISA
I'd like to go with you.

Goliath nods and lifts her into his arms.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELISA'S APARTMENT - PRE-DAWN

TRACK WITH GOLIATH AND LEX

the former carrying Elisa, as they glide uptown.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON

Hudson glowers at Xanatos, as the latter enters and peaks into the boiling cauldron. He warms his hands above it. The robot remains immobile in the b.g.

XANATOS
The soup's cooking nicely.

HUDSON
You've obviously gone to a lot
of trouble. Had to carve your
statue weeks in advance. Tell me
something: Why me?

FAVOR XANATOS

Who thinks the answer is obvious.

XANATOS
Because you're old and getting
older. I thought you might even
appreciate the opportunity.

ON HUDSON

He crosses his arms. He's just picked up on one of Xanatos' few weaknesses.

HUDSON
Growing old terrifies you,
doesn't it?

ECU ON XANATOS

Hudson's pressed one of his few buttons.

XANATOS
Nothing terrifies me. Because
nothing is beyond my ability to
change.
(beat, petty)
What about you? Still wasting
your evenings in front of a
television set. You're of
little use to your clan; you
might as well be of some use to
me.

CLOSER ON HUDSON

Xanatos hasn't rattled him a bit.

HUDSON
Open this cage and I'll show
you just how useless I am.

HOLD ON XANATOS

He doesn't have a comeback. He burns, turns and leaves.

ON CAGE

Hudson SLAMS a fist into his palm in a frustrated gesture and turns to resume his pacing.

CLOSER ON HUDSON

He notices something at his feet. MOVE WITH him as he kneels to look closely at the slivers of rocky exoderm -- some of which are as long as a knife blade. Hudson reaches through the grated floor and touches his shed skin thoughtfully.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - ESTABLISHING - PRE-DAWN

A dark and dreary area, the deserted streets narrow and winding, with tall dark warehouses lining them. VERT. PAN UP TO FRAME Brooklyn and Broadway, fleeing for their lives, as another ELECTRICAL BOLT ZAPS a brick wall near them, SHATTERING it.

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Zooming along on his flying platform in close pursuit. We can see that the eastern sky is lightening.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
Farewell, my enemies!

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN AND BROADWAY

Flying through the narrow streets like Luke zooming along the Deathstar trench.

BROADWAY
At least we led him away from
Hudson!

BROOKLYN
Yeah -- now if only someone'd
lead him away from us!

ON BROADWAY - FLYING

His expression becomes determined.

BROADWAY
It's almost dawn -- and then
we'll be sitting ducks!

ANGLE WIDENS as he does a barrel roll, looping up in a backwards arc. During the next few shots we should be seeing the sky growing lighter and lighter.

BROADWAY (CONT'D)
Besides we gotta nail him. He's the
only one who can cure Hudson!

ON MACBETH - FLYING

As Broadway comes swooping down behind Macbeth, the latter turns and lines up on him with his weapon.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
You'll have to do better than
that!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Just before Macbeth fires, however, Brooklyn CRASHES into him from behind. Macbeth does not cry out from the impact (he's a robot), nor is he knocked down as we would expect a human to be. Instead he turns and grapples with the surprised Brooklyn.

BROOKLYN
(grunt of surprise)

ANGLE INCLUDES BROADWAY

swooping down toward them; he reacts in astonishment as Macbeth picks up Brooklyn and hurls him from the careening platform.

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN

He pops open his wings, catches air, slowing his drop. As he does so, he looks up and reacts in surprise as he sees:

LOW ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Just in time for Broadway to sail IN and be BATTED aside like an annoying insect by Macbeth's one-armed blow.

BROADWAY
(stunned grunt)

ON BROOKLYN

He lands on the fire escape next to a crane which holds a huge shipping crate on the end of its cable. The building has a sign on the wall that reads ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS.

ON BROADWAY

Rising on a thermal while he recovers from Macbeth's blow.

BROADWAY
(groans)

ABOVE A NEARBY BUILDING

Goliath, Lex and Elisa glide into view.

GOLIATH
Look! Over there! It's Broadway!

LEXINGTON
The sun's about to come up!

CLOSE ON GOLIATH AND ELISA

He looks at her and comes to a decision. He and Lex land on the rooftop. He puts Elisa down, and looks O.S. in astonishment. The world is trembling on the edge of dawn.

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Turning his platform to come back for another shot at Broadway.

GOLIATH (O.S. CONT'D)
Macbeth -- and alive?!

ZAP! Macbeth FIRES O.S.

ON BROADWAY

The BOLTS SCORCH the air directly beneath him, forcing him to rise higher and higher.

ON GOLIATH, LEX AND ELISA

Goliath prepares to leap into the air, but Lex and Elisa grab his arms and points O.S. eastward in horror.

ELISA, LEXINGTON
Goliath! You can't! / The sun!!

ANGLE INCLUDES

The horizon, where the molten edge of the sun has appeared across the East River.

RESUME GOLIATH AND LEX

The PETRIFACTION starts, moving swiftly up their bodies. Goliath stares up O.S., struggling against the inevitable.

GOLIATH
(strains)
Broadway --!

And then he is stone, as is Lex.

ON BROADWAY

ON THE CUT he TRANSFORMS also, and drops like -- well, like a rock.

ON BROOKLYN

Brooklyn has an extra second of consciousness before the terminator moves down the building and envelopes him -- just long enough to see his friend plummeting toward certain death.

BROOKLYN
No!!

Then Brooklyn TRANSFORMS.

ON ELISA

In shock as she watches BROADWAY falling.

HER POV - BROADWAY

Falling away from us as we

FADE OUT

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - LOW ANGLE SHOT - DAWN - CONTINUOUS

The stone Broadway falling right INTO CAMERA.

ON ELISA

She's only got a couple of seconds to come up with something. She looks frantically this way and that, then spies something O.S. (These scenes MUST play like lightning.)

HER POV - SHIPPING CRATE

The huge shipping crate at the end of the crane cable, level with the second story of the building. ZOOM IN on the box's side, where the words ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS are stenciled.

ON ELISA

She whips her gun from its shoulder holster, aims and FIRES up O.S. repeatedly, emptying the clip.

CLOSE ON CRANE BOOM

She's a helluva shot -- most of the bullets STRIKE the hoist cable at the pulley junction, its weakest point. The cable SNAPS.

PULL BACK WIDE as the crate falls and SHATTERS on the street, releasing its cargo: a couple of dozen rolled up thick carpets. They barely have time to hit the street in a pile six feet thick before Broadway CRASHES down on top of them, bounces, lands again on the very edge of the pile and lies still.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa leans back against Goliath's petrified form.

ELISA
(big sigh)

CLOSER ON HER

She remembers Macbeth and looks up O.S.

HER POV - SKY

We can see Macbeth zooming away on his platform.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
(laughs)
Trophies!

RESUME ELISA

Watching him go.

CUT TO:
INT. DUNGEON

Xanatos stares at the stone form of Hudson. Looks into the boiling Cauldron. Owen enters.

OWEN
We have a field report from
"Macbeth". He kept the gargoyles
busy throughout the night.

XANATOS
Better watch out Owen. This Macbeth
fellow may be gunning for your job.
He's already died for me once on
this project. It's hard to top that.

ON OWEN

He raises an eyebrow.

WIPE TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - DAY

Elisa supervises as the crane lifts Broadway up toward the rooftop where Goliath and Lex are frozen in stone.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. EYRIE BUILDING - TWILIGHT

The sun sets.

CUT TO:
INT. DUNGEON

Hudson explodes out of his stone shell.

HUDSON
(awakening roar)

TIGHT ON HUDSON

He reaches behind him, as if to check that he still has a weapon stuck in his belt. Though we don't see it, he obviously still feels it there, and looks relieved.

CUT TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE ROOF - DUSK

Elisa is there with Goliath, Lex and Broadway. Brooklyn glides in for a landing. He immediately rushes to Broadway.

BROOKLYN
Jalapeña, you're still alive!
It's a miracle!

Goliath looks at Elisa who smiles.

GOLIATH
Yes -- a miracle named Elisa.

FAVOR LEX

Wheels clearly turning.

LEX
What I don't get is Macbeth. Why
did he cut and run?

BROOKLYN
Good question. He keeps saying he
wants us as trophies. Why didn't
he come back for us while we were
stone?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Suddenly realizing that "Hudson" has been left unprotected.

GOLIATH
Hudson!

DRAMATIC ANGLE

As all four gargoyles launch themselves into the night. Goliath carries Elisa.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT

FAVOR XANATOS AND HUDSON

Xanatos turns from the boiling cauldron to the old gargoyle. He holds Hudson's sword in one hand. With the other, he presses his remote. The cage opens. The Steel Clan Robot grabs Hudson and pulls him out. Owen is also present.

XANATOS
Your bath is ready, Hudson.

ON HUDSON

Hudson is there, arms held by a Steel Clan robot. Head high, determined to show no fear.

HUDSON
Listen to me, Xanatos. What
you seek demands a heavy price.

CLOSER ON HUDSON - INCLUDE XANATOS

Xanatos is listening, politely but with barely concealed impatience.

HUDSON (CONT'D)
I've been alive for over eleven
hundred years. Most of my clan
is dead and dust, and I am a
stranger in a strange land.
(beat)
Demona and Macbeth are immortal.
Has it brought them happiness?

XANATOS
Save your breath, Hudson. Old
age has its price as well, and
it's too expensive for me.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where the "Hudson" statue keeps its lonely stone vigil. The gargoyles land and look about warily.

BROADWAY
No sign of Macbeth.

BROOKLYN
I still want to know how he
lived through that crash --
and why he keeps attacking us.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Thinking hard about it.

GOLIATH
It's almost as though he's trying
to keep us off guard while
something else goes on ...

ANOTHER ANGLE - ALL

A POWER BOLT from O.S. SHATTERS the edge of the roof, nearly toppling them all into the street.

GARGOYLES, ELISA
(surprised cries)

WIDE ANGLE

Here comes Macbeth again, FIRING furiously.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
Farewell, my enemies!

ON GARGOYLES AND ELISA

Elisa dives for cover behind a brick chimney, pulling her gun as she does so. The gargoyles take to the air as more BOLTS ZING THROUGH, some coming perilously close to Hudson.

AERIAL SHOT - WIDE

The gargoyles circle Macbeth, avoiding the LIGHTENING BLASTS.

GOLIATH
Keep him away from Hudson!

ON "HUDSON"

A nearby BLAST PEPPERS the statue with stone shrapnel.

ON BROOKLYN AND BROADWAY - FLYING

A massive POWER BOLT KNOCKS Broadway and Brooklyn out of the sky.

BROADWAY, BROOKLYN
(impact grunts)

They land on the roof's edge, half-stunned.

BROOKLYN
This is gettin' old ...

ON GOLIATH AND LEXINGTON

Swooping around for another pass. BOLTS SIZZLE THROUGH SHOT.

ON HUDSON STATUE

The POWER BOLTS are coming closer to it.

QUICK CUT - ELISA

She takes aim at Macbeth with her gun.

ELISA
Don't do it!!

She fires, but she used all of her bullets to save Broadway. The gun CLICKS harmlessly.

QUICK CUT - LEXINGTON

He sees what's going to happen and reacts in horror, but he's too far away to do anything about it.

LEXINGTON
(gasps)

ON GOLIATH

Arrowing straight toward us, hands outstretched.

GOLIATH
Hudson --!!

ON "HUDSON"

As a POWER BOLT STRIKES the statue squarely, BLOWING it to hell and gone.

REACTION SHOT - GOLIATH

Utterly horrified, as we

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The robot lifts Hudson from behind. Hudson struggles futilely.

HUDSON
(struggles)

WIDE ANGLE

The robot carries him toward the cauldron as we

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The dust still settling from the destruction of the statue. Goliath drops INTO SHOT beside the fragments.

ON GOLIATH

His eyes blaze white. He is in a killing rage, angrier than we have ever seen him before. He glares up O.S. Another POWER BOLT BLISTERS the roof right next to him, but he doesn't even notice it. With a:

GOLIATH
(roar of pure fury)

he leaps from the roof and soars up O.S.

ON MACBETH

FIRING O.S. at the oncoming juggernaut.

ON GOLIATH - FLYING

He takes an almost-direct HIT by a BOLT; it knocks him back, but he does a quick barrel roll and gets back on track.

GOLIATH
(growls)

WIDE ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Goliath gets one hand on the platform. He ignores another BLAST by sheer force of will and climbs aboard.

CLOSER

Before Macbeth can fire again Goliath tears the weapon from his hands and CRUSHES it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath's too angry to notice Macbeth's lack of fear. He grabs the robot, sustaining a massive SHOCK doing so. But he doesn't let go. Holding on with one hand, ELECTRICITY CRACKLING the length of his arm, he cocks the other fist back.

GOLIATH
Murderer!!

CLOSE ON THEM

As Goliath SMASHES a piledriver blow straight into Macbeth's chest, CRUSHING it. Circuitry SPARKS, FLASHES. Macbeth spasms as his system shorts out. When he speaks his voice RUNS DOWN like a slowing tape:

MACBETH
(reuse, but slow down, line #??)
You'll have ... to do ...
better ... than ... that ...

Goliath stares in disbelief.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

Hudson's about to be dumped in the cauldron. He struggles.

HUDSON
(struggles)

FAVOR XANATOS

He holds up the sword tauntingly.

XANATOS
Relax, Hudson. Without your
sword, you're helpless.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

And we see that his struggles mask the sight of one hand reaching behind him and beneath his hauberk and pulling out a long sharp shard of epithelial stone.

HUDSON
Swordless, maybe ...

WIDE ANGLE

As Hudson whips his arm around, driving the shard back directly into the face plate of the robot behind him. The robot SHORTS OUT spectacularly and falls away. During this:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Helpless, never!

ANOTHER ANGLE

With one side free, Hudson drops his feet on the cauldron's side, balancing on the narrow lip, then leaps forward.

HUDSON
(battle cry)

PAN WITH HIM as he does a forward flip over the cauldron, wings folded, and IMPACTS feet-first squarely into Xanatos, KNOCKING the latter O.S. Owen reacts in surprise.

XANATOS
(impact grunt)

ON WALL

Xanatos SLAMS against it, dropping Hudson's sword. He then slides down to sprawl on the floor, stunned.

XANATOS
(stunned grunt)

ON HUDSON AND OWEN

Hudson grabs up his sword and whips about to face Owen. He points a warning finger at Xanatos' charge d'affaires.

HUDSON
Behave yourself, boy.

ANGLE INCLUDES XANATOS

Who gets to his feet somewhat shakily. He looks at Hudson standing there with his sword ready. In a heartbeat he's recovered his poise.

XANATOS
I underestimated you. Very
resourceful, using your own
skin as a weapon. I should
have thought of that.
(beat)
I suppose you'll destroy the
cauldron now.

TWO SHOT - XANATOS AND HUDSON

Hudson raises an eyebrow.

HUDSON
And why would I be doing that?
What you choose to do with
your life is your own affair --
as long as it's got nothing to
do with me.

ANGLE INCLUDES DOOR

Hudson backs toward the doors warily, sword ready. For once in his life Xanatos looks surprised.

XANATOS
You're just full of surprises.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Hudson reaches the doors. Stops and turns.

HUDSON
A friendly word of advice. True
immortality isn't about living
forever, man. It's about what
you do with the time you have.
(beat)
When all your scheming's done,
what will be your legacy Xanatos?

WIDE ANGLE

Hudson sheathes his sword, KICKS the doors open and runs O.S.

ON XANATOS AND OWEN

Owen pulls a pocket communicator from his coat, but before he can use it Xanatos puts a forestalling hand on his arm.

XANATOS
No. Let him go. He's earned it.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

The gargoyles and Elisa stand looking forlornly at "Hudson's" remains. The flying platform and the ruined Macbeth robot are nearby.

GOLIATH
Hudson was the greatest warrior
I have ever known. His loss
diminishes us all.

BROOKLYN
Yeah. Now I wish I'd... He was
one in a million.

As they speak, Hudson drops silently down INTO SHOT behind her. He grins as he hears the impromptu eulogies.

FAVOR LEX, BROADWAY AND ELISA

Holding back tears. From this angle we can't see Hudson.

LEXINGTON
He's forgotten more things than
we'll ever know.

ELISA
He was always there for us.

BROADWAY
I'm sorry, Hudson. I wish it
hadn't turned out this way ...

HUDSON (O.S.)
All things considered, I'm just
as glad it did, laddy.

The gargoyles and Elisa whip about in comical astonishment. REFIELD QUICKLY TO INCLUDE Hudson, leaning against a rooftop chimney and grinning widely.

FAVOR HUDSON

The others rush to his side.

GARGOYLES, ELISA
(walla)
Hudson --? What --? You're
not dead? I don't get it!

Hudson holds up a hand in a calming gesture.

HUDSON
It's a long story, and one
best told over a hot cup of
tea.

ANGLE INCLUDES STATUE RUBBLE AND "HUDSON" HEAD

Hudson turns and picks up the statue's head.

HUDSON
I think I'll keep this as a
souvenir. Not everyone can
reclaim their head after
losing it.
(beat)
Let's go home.

ON ROOF'S EDGE

The gargoyles glide into the night. Goliath carries Elisa.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. DUNGEON - NIGHT

The cauldron still BUBBLES in b.g. Xanatos looks at it.

XANATOS
I was so close to finding out
if the legend was true. Now
there's no one to test it on.

REVERSE ANGLE

Owen crosses to the cauldron in f.g., pulling up his sleeve as he goes.

OWEN
Allow me, sir ...

CLOSE ON WATER

Owen plunges his fist into the "boiling" water.

TWO SHOT - OWEN AND XANATOS

Xanatos watches in surprise as Owen pulls his fist out. The fist is now solid stone. Owen reacts quite unemotionally. He TAPS it against the side of the cauldron.

OWEN
It would appear, sir, that
the cauldron's spell of
immortality has a price.

XANATOS
Yes ... what was the legend?
Whoever bathes in it "will live
as long as the mountain stones."
How literal-minded.
(beat)
Thank you, Owen. That will
be all.

He turns and walks O.S., leaving Owen standing there with his new stone hand. Owen calmly rolls down his sleeve and rebuttons his cuff as we

FADE OUT

THE END