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Lightbulb Contest
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Silverbolt writes...
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
two.
One blue gargoyle to change the lightbulb and a red one to knock him out, hide the body and take all the glory for himself.
Greg responds...
Okay.
Well, first of all, the contest is over -- both in the time frame when you wrote the above and in the time frame when I'm responding. Second, YIKES! Feeling a bit hostile, are we?
LIGHTBULB CONTEST RESULTS
I'd like to thank everyone who entered (forgive me if I skip or mispell anyone):
Zach Baker
Vashkoda
Demoness
Greg Bishansky
Josh Wurzel
Goliath JD - Jack Donovan
Lord Sloth
Aris Katsaris
Blaise
DragonWolf
Guardian/Carole
matt
Airportman
Lady Mystic
Jim R.
Noel Leas
Lynati
Kelly L. Creighton/Kya White Sapphire
Amanda
Jimmy
Alex Katsaros
lefay_82
Patricia
Z
Kali Gargoyle
(the guppi)
Jon
First the honorable mentions:
matt writes...
how many gargoyles??? i asked Anubis, he said:
"the lightbulb has died, let it rest. ultraviolet or standard, 55 or 100 watt, all light bulb are equal in death. burning out is the ultimate fairness..."
Airportman writes...
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Gargoyles do not screw in lightbulbs, they ROAR!!!
Jim R. writes...
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: "Silly mutate, lightbulbs are for humans."
Lynati writes...
(Fang voice:)"How many Gargoyles does it take to change a lightbulb?
...None! They don't have time to change lighbulbs! They are too busy out harassing innocent citizens who are just minding their own business and locking them up in drafty Frankenstein cells! With no TV! HEY! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU! ...ya creep..."
Patricia writes...
Fang: Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...
Goliath: You mean the lightbulb died? We must have a Wind Ceremony for it. Come. (exits)
Fang: No, Goliath, wait! (signs) Man, he can't even take a joke!
Now, in second place...
DragonWolf writes...
How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to berate themselves for not protecting the old one from burning out."
DragonWolf's prize for second place is highly speculative. Since the winning entry -- for obvious reasons -- could never actually be used in a script, I'm giving DragonWolf the honor of putting words in Fang's mouth should I ever get the opportunity (and assuming I don't find one I like better before then).
Congratulations!!
And finally, our winner!!!!
Aris Katsaris writes...
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm home right now and the answer is in my office. Ask again later.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: Your assumptions are incorrect.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I'm not that big in quantifying things. Lots, I guess.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightblub?"
Greg responds: What's a lightblub?
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: All things are true.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: I wouldn't want to tie down my hands and the hands of the artists in this respect.
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Greg responds: The world may never know. :-)
Yeah, yeah, I know it's at my expense. But it made me laugh. Aris, you da man.
I honestly don't know what you're prize is going to be yet. But e-mail me and we'll figure it out.
Thanks again everyone.
New contest coming soon.
(Which in Ask Greg terms means... someday.)
Lord Sloth writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang> Hey, yoy Goliath! How many Gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb huh?
<Goliath stares at Fang>
Fang> I duno either, but it must take a lot since neither Talon or his dumb replicas of you have even BOTHERED to change the lightbulb for my cell. Oh, wait, that's because you all despise everything about me <starts over dramatic sobbing> Nobody likes me, boo hoo hoo.
<Goliath turns away in disgust>
Fang> <stops sobbing> What's wrong Mr G, cat got your tongue? Hey, come back here, or I WILL get your tongue! Aw, you're no fun anymore.
Greg responds...
Entered.
Results soon, hopefully.
Courtney writes...
"LIGHTBULB CONTEST"
Fang: "Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...?"
Goliath: Lets see...*starts counting on his fingers* one for holding the...
Fang: Goliath...this is a joke..
Goliath: *lookes confused*
Fang: You know a joke...hahah very funny
Goliath: Ah...I see...hahaha...is that right now?
Fang: *rolles eyes* Never mind...gosh...nobody ever gets jokes anymore.
Greg responds...
You are entered.
Jon writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
(since I just posted, thought I'd take a crack):
Fang: "By the way, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Broadway: <momentarily caught off guard by the non sequitur, starts to count to himself on his fingers> "Uhhh... one... two..."
Fang: <shaking his head and covering his eyes in mock disgust> "Oy! The world may never know."
[Thought this was a natural tie in to recent discussions about the tootsie pop commercial-- which I remember clearly from when I was a child, thank you very much-- and a rather sad attempt to combine the punchline with a pop-culture reference, but what the hey :p]
Greg responds...
You're entered.
Demoness writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
"How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Broadway: What is a llll..ighttt...bu bu bulb...lightbulb?
Greg responds...
Okay, you are entered. If I ever -- ever -- finish the month of September, I'll announce a winner.
(the guppi) writes...
You're a crazy man, Greg, but you're my kind of crazy. :)
If you're still in the mood after judging the flood of LIGHTBULB CONTEST entries, i thought you might also enjoy some related excerpts from an old thread on the Gargoyles mailing list, as compiled by Marcos "Tony" Rawlings. It _does_ contain a couple of references to characters from the TGS fan project, but they aren't too hard to skirt around if you're feeling cautious. (ImHO it'd be a shame to pass all of 'em up -- some are absolute rip-snorters.) Whether you do decide to give it a peek or not, the listmembers' take on Fang's joke can be found at http://www.spottycat.com/marlos/lightbulb.html . Good luck with the contest, and happy reading?
Greg responds...
As a matter of policy, I have to pass. But thanks.
Kali Gargoyle writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: "How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"I don't know, how many would it take to pound you into kitty paste?"
Greg responds...
Entered. Thanks.
Z writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
How many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None since screwing lightbulbs aren't part of the gargoyles way.
Greg responds...
And you're entered. Thanks.
Patricia writes...
LIGHTBULB CONTEST
Fang: Hey, Goliath, how many gargoyles does it take to screw in a lightbulb...
Goliath: You mean the lightbulb died? We must have a Wind Ceremony for it. Come. (exits)
Fang: No, Goliath, wait! (signs) Man, he can't even take a joke!
Greg responds...
You are entered. Assuming I ever get through September of 2001, results will be forthcoming.
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