Young Justice Stats

Statistics interest me. So I thought I'd share some with you guys. (Okay, yeah, I'm procrastinating. But it is my lunch hour, so sue me.)

We have completed (so far) 17 out or our 26 first season Young Justice Scripts. That is NOT the same as completing the episodes. We haven't completed a single episode yet. We don't start post-production until later this month. But we do have 17 scripts in the can.

As of episode 17, we have 147 name characters from the DC Universe. That's an average of introducing 8.6 DC characters per episode. Of course, the reality is that some episodes have introduced many more than that, others fewer. But that's the average.

Our average page count for each script is 33. Our average dialogue count is 235 lines.

We've completed recording on the first 13 episodes. (We've partially recorded episodes 114-116, but are missing a few actors still. We'll record 117 this coming Tuesday after Labor Day.) So the following statistics are only through episode 13:

Total number of actors we've used so far: 47.
Average number of actors we've used per episode: 11.
Of course many actors are in multiple episodes and many are performing more than one character.

Hmm... what else?

All 26 scripts have been assigned to writers. (All 26 premises were written and approved months ago.) As I mentioned above, 1-17 are in the can. Episode 18 is in script. Episodes 19-22 are in outline. Episodes 23-24 are in beat outline. 25-26 are approved premises, waiting in the wings.

We have seven writers, including myself, staff writer Kevin Hopps and our freelancers: Andrew Robinson, Nicole Dubuc, Jon Weisman, Tom Pugsley and Peter David. My fellow producer Brandon Vietti is also heavily involved in the writing process.

Okay, back to work...

Dragon*Con

I'm told that at Dragon*Con in Atlanta this weekend, Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis will be hosting a Gargoyles panel. I'm quite jealous that I won't be there!

According to

http://www.dragoncon.org/

the panel is on Sunday, September 5, 2010 at 11:30am.

If you can attend, you should. Then let me know how it went!

What's in a name...?

So I've been lurking a bit today on various Young Justice message boards (almost always a mistake), and I feel the need to respond on one point (ALWAYS a mistake).

Some people are asking (with various levels of outrage), why we are calling this series "Young Justice"?

They cite the fact that our Robin isn't Tim Drake, that our Kid Flash isn't Impulse/Bart Allen. That we're not using Wonder Girl or Arrowette or Secret and that even our Superboy is dressed more like the later Titans Superboy.

And, honestly, I can see their point. In some ways, I do almost (almost) wish we weren't using the Young Justice title.

But it would be nice if these people turned a more practical and realistic eye toward the question of title.

Some ask, why not call it Teen Titans, when you have Dick, Wally, Aqualad, etc.?

But the answer to that is beyond obvious. There was a RECENT hit series named Teen Titans. The name is TAKEN! Taken, by the way, by a great series that used the cast not of Teen Titans but of Marv Wolfman & George Perez's NEW TEEN TITANS with the tone of neither. In fact, the tone is/was much closer to Peter David & Todd Nauck's YOUNG JUSTICE. (Ironic, huh?)

And if, somehow, we DID call our series TEEN TITANS (again), how would that help? Another group of fans (with some overlap) would cry foul because we were putting Superboy, Miss Martian, Artemis and a new Aqualad in with Dick and Wally. Where's Donna? And etc.

The thing is... we're not doing a straight adaptation of either Teen Titans OR Young Justice. We are, in fact, pulling from both properties and later Titans and decades worth of Justice League stuff to create something new with a new continuity on a new Earth-16.

So what SHOULD we entitle it? There just ISN'T one comic book title that's a PERFECT fit for what we're doing. So if you get past the impossible notion of finding a historically accurate title, you're left with coming up with a MEANINGFUL title. In which case, Young Justice fits perfectly - at least on THAT level. (Trust me, you'll see.) It's a flat-out BETTER and more appropriate and more meaningful title for our series than New Titans or Teen Titans or plain old Titans or Justice League Task Force or Justice League Europe or Extreme Justice or Justice League Babies or pretty much anything else you can come up with. I know. I tried. Nothing else captures the essence of our series as well. Baggage or no baggage.

That still leaves the perfectly legit argument: Why do this? Why NOT just adapt the David/Nauck Young Justice? Fair question, absolutely.

And the answer here is... we didn't want to. The creative people (myself, Brandon Vietti, Sam Register, etc.) behind the series premiering this November on Cartoon Network didn't want to. That's not meant as any disrespect for a great comic book. But again, we felt that the tone of the David/Nauck Young Justice book had been done recently and well on television as Teen Titans. Different group of teens, but the same feeling. We wanted to do something NEW. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe you won't. But writers as diverse as Peter David (yep, that Peter David) and Geoff Johns and, uh, Greg Weisman all like what we're doing, so maybe it's worth at least giving us a chance. Or not. That's the call of every individual.

But if you are going to give us a try, you might also try leaving a bit of baggage behind. We have six leads and many, many, many supporting characters (135 existing characters from the DC Universe just through episode 16 alone). As when I worked on Spectacular Spider-Man, we have tried VERY hard to be as true to the core truths of each individual character as possible. Some of the interpretations may be new. Some of the details. The timeline is start from scratch. (Parallel universe, remember?) But the core should hold true, or I haven't done my job.

And gang, stop pretending you know what's coming or what ISN'T coming. What characters will eventually be included and which won't. We haven't even premiered yet. It's fine to guess. But making a guess and then praising or condemning us based on that guess is a bit rough.

Now, I know that this message will invariably read like I've got a big chip on my shoulder. And/or that I'm whining about fans pre-judging the work. That's not the TONE I want for this message. But it's hard in text to get tone across. The tone I'm looking for is more like... weariness. (Not wariness, but weariness.) Honestly, all I'm trying to get across here is that perhaps the conversation would be more productive if folks weren't stuck on preconceptions.

Oh, and one more thing for the record: I know a number of people -- even a few individuals legitimately attached to the series -- have been quoted saying the original title of the series was "Young Justice League". It wasn't. Ever. For better or worse, we were "Young Justice" from Day One of our development. And why not "Young Justice League?" Well, frankly, cuz it sounds awful, don't you think?

Non-sequitor, but since I'm in correcting-internet-incorrectness-mode: Miss Martian is the NIECE of Martian Manhunter. NOT his daughter. Someone misquoted us there.

Mecha-Nation Trailer

Here's a link. Check it out:

http://www.victorcook.com/mechanation_trailer.mov

LIVE PODCAST

Meant to post this days ago at ASK GREG, but I forgot. I'm being interviewed for a live podcast at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/123-film TODAY at 4pm PDT, i.e. in less than half an hour. Sorry for the lack of warning...

Young Justice

Wow. This has been a big couple of weeks ANNOUNCEMENT-wise.

As some of you doubtless already know, YOUNG JUSTICE was announced today by Cartoon Network.

Here's the official press release info (with slightly better proofreading from me):

"Young Justice: In Young Justice, being a teenager means proving yourself over and overâ€"to peers, parents, teachers, mentors and, ultimately, to yourself. But what if you’re not just a normal teenager? What if you’re a teenage super hero? Are you ready to join the ranks of the great heroes and prove you’re worthy of the Justice League? That’s exactly what the members of Young Justiceâ€"Robin, Aqualad, Kid Flash, Superboy, Miss Martian and Artemisâ€"will find out: whether they have what it takes to be a proven hero? This all-new series is produced by Warner Bros. Animation and based upon characters from DC Comics. Sam Register (Teen Titans, Ben 10, Batman: The Brave and the Bold) is the executive producer. Brandon Vietti (Batman: Under the Red Hood, Superman Doomsday, The Batman) and Greg Weisman (Gargoyles, The Spectacular Spider-Man, W.I.T.C.H.) are the producers."

We're hard at work on the 26-episode first season. Got a great writing staff in place, and the designs look phenomenal. I really think the series will kick some major ass!

And that's about all I'm allowed to say right now...

DICK GIORDANO, R.I.P.

Just over a week ago, Dick Giordano passed away. I've been meaning to write this ever since but haven't felt equal to the task. But it's time...

Dick was one of the all time great comic book inkers, but he was also the single individual most responsible for bringing me into the comic book business, which directly lead to me working in animation.

It's a story I've told many times, so feel free to skip down if you've heard it.

I was a nineteen-year-old college sophomore when Marvel Comics announced a New Talent Search. I was excited, but reasoned (correctly) that Marvel would be inundated with submissions. I also reasoned (rather cleverly) that if Marvel began a New Talent Search, DC Comics would too. So instead of preparing submissions based on Marvel characters, I immediately set to work, prepping stuff based on DC characters. Sure enough, DC announced it's search, and I immediately sent in my stuff. YEARS LATER, I saw the logbook that was used to log in each submission as it arrived. Mine was literally the second submission received.

It was duly logged in -- and then lost. (Likewise, years later, I found it in the DC offices in the back of a file cabinet.) DC still had my address in the log book. But not the submission itself. Because 70% of all submissions were artist submissions and only 30% were writer submissions, the person in charge of the talent search at the time took a chance and sent me a packet for new ARTISTS. I was OUTRAGED!!! Outraged, of course, in the way only a 19-year-old know-nothing can get outraged. So I sent a LETTER to DC Comics expressing my outrage. I said (lying) that I was a professional, and if they lost my submission, a simple admission of this fact would have resulted in me sending copies. There was no need to GUESS (incorrectly) that I was an artist and hope for the best. I stated that this was no way to run a business.

Somehow this letter found it's way to Dick Giordano's desk. Dick was at the time the EXECUTIVE EDITOR and head creative muckymuck at DC. Most guys in that position would have found a nice round file for my letter, but Dick was amused by it... and maybe a little impressed with (not the content) but the writing of it itself.

So sometime later, the phone in my dormroom rings. My roommate answers and says it's for me. "Who is it?" "Some guy named Dick Giordano." Now, I knew EXACTLY who Dick Giordano was and figured there was no way I was getting a call from him. So I got on the phone assuming it was one of my geek friends playing a prank. Nope. It was Dick. He wanted to meet me and asked if I had any plans to be in New York City. I (lied again and) told him that coincidentally, I was planning to be there over spring break. He invited me up to the DC Comics offices, and we set a date and time.

So I scraped the money together to buy a plane ticket, crashed at my cousin's apartment, put on a SUIT (what did I know, it was a job interview, right?) and headed out during a torrential Manhattan rainstorm to FIND A CAB to take me to DC. (Somewhere out there New Yorkers are laughing at the thought of me trying to find a cab in the rain.)

Ultimately, I found one, but not before I was (despite an umbrella) soaked to the bone in my stupid suit. I arrive at DC looking more like a drowned rat than a professional writer (which, of course, I was not), and met with Dick. And we hit it off. He was great. From Day One, he believed in me and tried to get me freelance work. He eventually gave me a job as an Editorial Assistant (read Xerox boy) and quickly promoted me twice over twenty-one months to Assistant Editor and then Associate Editor.

I was impatient, of course. I couldn't stick it out, and moved back to Los Angeles to go to grad school and eventually start a career in animation. I remember how disappointed Dick was. How he tried to get me to reconsider, but how he also supported my decision, when I made it clear it was final.

After that, every time Dick and his right-hand woman and good friend Pat Bastienne came to Los Angeles, they would take time out to meet with me. They met my fiancee Beth long before she became my wife. They were both always cheering me on. Eventually, Dick retired from DC and moved to Florida, and we lost touch. Which is on me. And I regret it.

When I heard/saw that he had passed at age 77 from complications from Leukemia (over the same weekend when my Grandmother turned 100), it was a real blow.

Dick was a terrific and extremely talented guy, and I owe him just... TONS.

Thank you, Dick. You will be missed.

Greg Weisman
April 2010

The Spectacular Spider-Man

So...

I've heard nothing directly from Marvel, Disney or Sony, but I think the recent announcement that an "Ultimate Spider-Man" animated series is in the works at Marvel Animation, makes it fairly clear that The Spectacular Spider-Man is over.

I can't say that I'm surprised, but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed. But guys... all of you so quick to rush to my defense (sometimes in the most heated of terms)... it's appreciated, of course, but not necessary. This is the business I've chosen to work in. It comes with the job.

Sure, I think Spectacular kicked some ass! But there's no reason to assume that Ultimate Spider-Man won't kick ass too! I'd recommend giving it a chance. I remember when we were first announced, a bunch of MTV Spider-Man fans were screaming about why they were creating a new series and not continuing that one. Heck, there were even a bunch of 90s Spider-Man the Animated Series fans who felt they should still be continuing THAT show. Some of those folks wound up giving us a chance. Some didn't, I'm sure. Some of those who loved those and other old Spidey series found they liked or loved Spectacular. Others didn't, I'm sure. But we found our audience, and now we've got nostalgia working on our side. But I wouldn't want Ultimate Spidey to be judged on anything other than itself. Because that's all I wanted for Spectacular.

It's just the way of things. I try to take the long view and be philosophical about it. Don't always succeed, but I try. I had more stories I was dying to tell, but anyone who's familiar with this website due to a certain series beginning with a "G" knows that this isn't the first series I've felt that way about. I rarely run out of tales to tell. I had more Spidey stories to tell. More Gargoyles stories to tell. More W.I.T.C.H. stories to tell. More Captain Atom stories to tell. More Starship Troopers stories to tell. Even more Max Steel stories to tell. And if and when I get a new series -- no matter how long it lasts -- I'll probably STILL have more stories of that puppy to tell too.

So I try to be grateful for what I did get. I got to tell 26 fun stories. And those led directly to me writing for The Amazing Spider-Man, which puts me in some pretty august company and fulfilled a life-long dream, even if it was only half of one issue. So it's all good.

For those who loved and will miss, alongside me and pretty much all of its cast and crew, The Spectacular Spider-Man, I appreciate all your support and kind words. Let's celebrate what we achieved and not stress over what we didn't get to do.

Thanks, everyone.

Greg Weisman
April, 2010

HAPPY CENTENNIAL GRANDMA SUE

Hey guys,

I've been on vacation (SPRING BREAK!) and busy with a bunch of stuff, so haven't been able to stop by recently, but I didn't want this major event to go by without notice. Last week, my Grandmother turned 100.

Of course, my brother beat me to it, writing more eloquently than I'd be able to, so I'm going to link to his website, which has neat pictures too!

http://bit.ly/b4GAI2

As my cousin pointed out at the LARGE family dinner we had this past weekend, when Sue Weisman was born, the Ottomans had an empire, as did the British and the Russian Czars, and Sue-Baby has outlast them all. The changes she's seen... living through World War I, the Depression, Prohibition, World War II, the invention of radio, television, computers, etc. It's a completely different world. And she's still sharp and funny and a joy to be around.

So happy birthday, Grandma Sue! Here's to 100 more!

Robert Culp R.I.P.

I won't pretend I knew Robert Culp well, but long prior to his work on Gargoyles, I was a fan. I loved him in The Greatest American Hero and LOVED him in I Spy. His unique delivery and humor made both series a joy. And what great partnerships: Culp & Cosby in Spy and Culp & Katt in Hero. He was clearly a generous actor. And a dedicated one. His performances as Halcyon Renard in a handful of episodes of Gargoyles made Renard a completely fascinating character for me. And his exchanges with Peter Scolari as Preston Vogel in the booth were really fun to watch.

Culp will be missed.

Reopening Ask Greg/Amazing Spider-Man 622

Hey gang,

It caught me off guard, but it seems my issue of The Amazing Spider-Man (i.e. #622) is out. So I've asked Gorebash to open Ask Greg to allow comments and questions about it. Normally, we wouldn't reopen this soon, given that I still am about 200 questions behind -- so don't assume it'll stay open long -- but I figured I should give you all the opportunity.

Mecha-Nation

Just got this message from the folks at Ape Entertainment:

Just a heads up to let you know that MECHA-NATION #1 is now available to order from the February edition of the Diamond PREVIEWS catalog!

Tell a friend!

FAIR WARNING

ASK GREG's question-asking function will temporarily go off line at the end of November to allow me to catch up on the over 400 question backlog.

Goliath Sculpt

As promised, here are the photos of myself, Ruben Procopio and the Goliath Sculpt. Note the model sheets everywhere.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/29246775@N04/sets/72157622647604288/

May the drooling commence...

Rubén = Ruben with an accent over the "e".

Rubén = Ruben with an accent over the "e".

Electric Tiki, Rubén Procopio, Goliath and Me...

Electric Tiki, Rubén Procopio, Goliath and Me...

I literally just got back to my office after a trip to Rubén Procopio's studio in Burbank. Some of you, I'm sure, met Rubén at this summer's Gathering. Rubén is sculpting Goliath for Electric Tiki, and Tracy Mark Lee of Electric Tiki was at Rubén's studio too.

Rubén's Goliath sculpt -- in its final approval phase before baking, sanding, etc -- just kicks ass!!! Tracy and I had some extremely minor notes, but really, even if it went out exactly as is, I'd be thrilled!

I'm a big fan of the Randy Bowen Goliath that I've currently got sitting on my desk -- which is very much Randy's interpretation of the character. By contrast, what Rubén has done is bring the television show's Goliath to life in 3D. It's totally on-model, and in fact Rubén's workspace is surrounded by actual model sheets of the character from the series. Tracy tells me the sculpt will be available next summer, so if you're a fan of Goliath, Gargoyles or just great sculpts in general, start saving now! I've already reserved my copy!

I have some pictures of Rubén and I with the in-progress sculpt, which I'll figure out how to post or link to or something soon. Stay tuned.

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is back!

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is back!

Disney XD is bringing "new" second season episodes back starting Wednesday, October 7th. Check local listings for times! Tell your friends, spread the word, watch the episodes (especially if you're a Nielson Family)! It's good stuff, I swear!!

Podcast

Hey gang,

Josh Keaton, the voice of Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and I did a podcast with spidermancrawlspace:

http://www.spidermancrawlspace.com/wordpress/2009/09/26/podcast-80-spectacular-spider-man-interview-of-keaton-weisman/

Check it out!

ACCESSIBILITY

So I've been lurking a bit, and I see folks are questioning the accessibility of the Gargoyles comics.

And I know I shouldn't do this, but I'm going to defend my own work here instead of just letting it stand on its own.

I totally reject the notion that the comics aren't accessible to new readers, unfamiliar with the GARGOYLES property. Now, granted Clan-Building, Volume II is pretty inaccessible IF you haven't read Clan-Building, Volume I. But in fairness to me, the Clan-Building arc is published in two volumes for commercial reasons, not creative ones. It's not two six-issue arcs; it's one twelve issue arc. So if you read Clan-Building in it's entirety OR if you read Bad Guys in it's entirety, I think both these arcs are extremely ACCESSIBLE.

And, yes, I've seen the reviews that claim that they're not. But I notice that those reviews are written by people who ARE passingly familiar with the cartoon and are making the ASSUMPTION that the books would be inaccessible to new readers. But I don't buy it. I've been doing this for a LONG time. And I know how to fill in my reader and/or viewer, introduce new concepts, etc.

Every issue in sequence introduces all the necessary information to a new reader that said reader would need. Does a reader benefit if they know all the backstory? Of course. But they don't have to know that backstory to enjoy the comic.

Let me take a specific example -- one that a reviewer specifically brought up. At the very end of issue #2 of Bad Guys, Sevarius appears. The reviewer (who knew exactly who Sevarius was) thought that I was blowing off new readers, because I gave NO backstory or introduction to Sevarius in that issue. But I'd argue that no introduction was necessary at that point. We've seen a mysterious figure descend into the Labyrinth, taser a guard, shed a disguise and confront Fang, claiming to know his real name and stating that he is Fang's "maker". That's ALL you need to know at that point as a new reader. It's perfectly okay if you DON'T know who this guy is. It's intriguing enough on that level. And in the very next issue (or chapter if you're reading the trade) Hunter gives all the backstory on Sevarius that you need to appreciate his role in issues/chapters #3 and #4. Yes, a hardcore fan is going to get extra juice when Sevarius pulls off his disguise because they'll recognize him. But even if Sevarius had been a brand new character, I wouldn't have handled his introduction any differently.

Look at Tasmanian Tiger. He is a new character. I hope he's at least a little bit intriguing. But is a new reader lost because they DON'T know that this is his first appearance? Readers, whether they are hardcore Garg fans or complete newbies, know as much about TT as they need to know -- and no more.

Yes, there are resources on the web -- BUT I don't count on those AT ALL, with one exception. And that exception is if people wonder why I'm ignoring Goliath Chronicles. And a new reader isn't even going to KNOW about Goliath Chronicles, so it's NOT an exception to him or her.

Otherwise, I use the tools I have within the book to explain what an audience needs to know. Someone familiar with the property may THINK the reader needs to know more, but I flat-out think they're wrong. My proof is anecdotal but it exists. I know people who've read the books and enjoyed them even though they never saw the show. Has it interested them in finding out more about the original series? Yes. And that's good and fine. But there's a difference between a new reader being intrigued and WANTING to learn more and a new reader being confused and NEEDING to know more to get what's going on.

You don't need to KNOW Brooklyn's entire history to know he's hurting because he can't get a date, to know he's pining for Angela and to know he's trying to get away from Angela and Broadway before chapter 10 of Clan-Building comes along -- and he's thrust into the past. Everything you NEED to know about him is present in issues 1-9. One benefits from knowing more, but that doesn't make it necessary to know more.

Of course, the greatest blockade to accessibility is the non-linear structure of chapters 7-9. But that's not property-based or familiarity-based, that's me using a non-traditional structure, which I might have done on an issue of, say, Captain Atom or Spider-Man or whatever. Hopefully, if a reader has read the first six chapters, they're intrigued enough to want to follow along despite the difficult structure.

Remember, issues 1 & 2 are designed to introduce you to the world of Gargoyles and any relevant information about said world. I got slammed by one reviewer for opening the comic book series with that adaptation of "The Journey", but I thought it was essential for new readers. One could argue fairly that each succeeding issue isn't as accessible as those first two, but complications and characters were added gradually through those first six issues. Anyone reading the book in order would not have been lost for a minute. If we hadn't been plagued by delays and late deliveries (which I had no control over and did not anticipate) it wouldn't have been the same kind of problem.

Any comic book or animated series that employs serialization and continuity is subject to these difficulties. And the middle chapter of any story (including a twelve-part story like Clan-Building or a six-part story like Redemption) can be tough to follow without having read the first few chapters. But just as I feel you can enjoy, say, "Leader of the Pack" without ever having seen any episodes from Season One of Gargoyles, I think Clan-Building can be enjoyed without having seen ANY of the Gargoyles TV series. Is the same true for "Avalon, Part Two" or "Avalon, Part Three"? No. But I think it IS true for "Avalon, Part One" and/or the three-part "Avalon" series when considered as a single unit.

My point is, I'm very familiar with the dilemma, and I know how to compensate. Or in any case, I'm VERY aware of the need to compensate. One can argue that I failed, I suppose. It does become subjective at some point. But nothing I did was done without very conscious thought on my part vis-a-vis the needs of a new reader. So any reviewer who claims that I didn't care or didn't try to make the book accessible is just -- well, wrong. And I think they are making assumptions based on THEIR knowledge of the richness of the property. They get all these resonances and call-backs, etc., and ASSUME a new reader would be lost without them. But you know what they say about the word "ASSUME". The resonances and call-backs are gravy. (And if you don't know they exist you won't know you're missing anything.) The meat, in my opinion, is all right there on the page.

Bowen SCULPT

Last week, Disney contacted me asking if I'd like one of the new Randy Bowen sculpted Goliaths. I, of course, responded with a VERY enthusiastic "YES!!"

They sent it to me, and I'm staring at it now in my office. It's pretty darn amazing: Goliath looks fantastic, and his wingspread is stunning. Heck, even the base is very cool! I recommend it to any fan of the show who has the disposable income. Remember also, that the best way to get Disney interested in producing more Gargoyles-related stuff is to vote with your wallets!! And whether or not you buy one, please help us SPREAD THE WORD about it.

It's Randy's interpretation of the character, and I've always been big on letting the artists take liberties that suit their personal style, but I find it interesting that some of the things he added, like Goliath's armband and earring are things that Greg Guler put on Goliath's original development design (before Frank Paur had our Japanese designers simplify all the characters). Don't believe me: compare and contrast Goliath from the original pitch, viewable on the Season One Gargoyles DVD.

Anyway, I want to thank Randy and the folks at Disney Collectibles (Scott Robertson, Steve Carrasco and Emily Shoji) for sending me a copy. I'm thrilled to have it!

G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Three

672. NARRATOR
Act Three.

673. DEMONA
Norman Osborn was a fool. So obsessed with the power of science, he kept the Crown of Thorns in this vault as if it was just another souvenir â€" albeit an expensive one â€" to hang upon his wall. But with the Crown and the Spear of Destiny together, I now have the power to force all of humanity to its knees.

674. GOLIATH
These are Christian icons, Demona. Not every human being is a Christian.

675. DEMONA
Not every human being speaks Latin, but that didn’t stop me from using a Latin spell to turn a city-full of humans to stone. The magic I wield is potent beyond measure. Mine is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory. No human may resist. No human will be spared. None will be spared who oppose me. Just look at this fool…

676. GOLIATH
Her name is Obsidiana.

677. DEMONA
Of course it is. For she wears the mystic Obsidian pendant fashioned by human sorcerers. Even that is enough to put her in my thrall. She has relinquished her gargoyle birthright.

678. GOLIATH
I have relinquished nothing.

679. NARRATOR
Demona waves the Spear of Destiny, and Electro rises and blasts Goliath back into the wall.

680. GOLIATH
<impact>

681. DEMONA
Yes, I’m surprised you’re unaffected… since you reek of humanity. The stink of your human whore is in your hair, on your lips, everywhere. And nothing in this world will give me more pleasure, Goliath, than watching your detective on her knees to me, as she draws her service revolver and thanks me with tears of joy in her eyes… before gratefully blowing out her own brains.

682. GOLIATH
(coldly furious)
That will never be.

683. DEMONA
No? My power expands with every second. I doubt she’s far away.

684. GOLIATH
You will not harm Elisa.

685. NARRATOR
Goliath advances on Demona. Electro blasts away, but Goliath will not be stopped…

686. DEMONA
No one ever said you weren’t persistent, Goliath. But what do you hope to gain?

687. GOLIATH
(through gritted teeth)
I will turn these forces back upon you.

688. DEMONA
Impossible. I am the last true gargoyle left on this world. The Crown’s magicks cannot touch me.

689. GOLIATH
So you believe. But I am not the only one who reeks of humanity. Am I… Dominique?!

690. NARRATOR
Goliath grasps the crown. The thorns bite into his hands, drawing blood. They struggle for control of the immense power…

691. GOLIATH, DEMONA
<roaring to the heavens>

692. SPIDER-MAN
<moan>

693. NARRATOR
Goliath’s intervention â€" and his complete immunity to the Crown’s effects â€" creates the smallest of fluctuation in Demona’s control. In a haze, Spider-Man lifts his arm…

694. SPIDER-MAN
Thwip.

695. NARRATOR
He shoots off a web, yanking the bloody crown from Demona’s head.

696. DEMONA
Noooooo!!!!

697. NARRATOR
There is a massive explosion of mystic energy and light! Demona, Goliath and Electro collapse.

698. GOLIATH
<moan>

699. SPIDER-MAN
Goliath…

700. GOLIATH
The Spear… the Crown…

701. SPIDER-MAN
Gone. I think they… blew up. Calypso’s gone too. But I’m betting that’s just a talent of hers. And I’d guess she’s taken Kraven and the pussycat with her.

702. DEMONA
<unconscious moan>

703. SPIDER-MAN
But the Big Bad’s still here…

704. GOLIATH
(sadly)
Leaving behind, as always, nothing but a handful of thorns…

Goliath, Spider-Man and Demona sit. Jonah, Elisa, Matt and George STAND.

705. NARRATOR
While Goliath helps Obsidiana, Spidey webs up Demona, Electro and Ock. In the outer vault, Zafiro and the Trio recover, finding only an unconscious and de-venomed Eddie Brock. Outside, the bad guys have all been beaten. Goblin and Vulture, their tech badly damaged, barely manage to fly away. Carnage and Jupiter are once again Cletus and John.

706. JONAH
I’m here, Johnny. Your old Pop’s here…

707. ELISA
Matt…

708. MATT
Call an ambulance, Elisa. Old Man Dracon said something about seeing a light. Then he collapsed. A stroke or something. I’ve been giving him C.P.R.

709. ELISA
Matt… Matt! You can stop. Stop. He’s gone.

710. GEORGE
You’re gargoyles are flying off, Detective.

711. MATT
(breathing hard)
Really? Not sure I see ‘em myself. But is that Spidey web-slinging away?

712. GEORGE
You think? I must have missed him?

Margot STANDS.

713. MARGOT
Are you all blind?! They’re right over there!

714. GEORGE, MATT, ELISA (UNISON)
Oh, give it a rest, Margot…

Elisa, Matt, George, Margot and Jonah sit. Peter, May, Harry and Gwen STAND.

715. NARRATOR
Back at the bus…

716. PETER
I’m back. And not a single decent picture to show for my efforts.

717. MAY
Well, you tried your best, Peter. I’m sure Mr. Jameson will appreciate that.

718. PETER
Oh, yeah. He’s a sweetheart that way.

719. NARRATOR
Emily Osborn watches as her son finally emerges from the bathroom.

720. GWEN
Harry?

721. HARRY
Hey, Gwen. I feel much better.

Harry, Gwen, Peter and May sit. Jonah and Robbie STAND.

722. NARRATOR
Later that night, at The Bugle…

723. JONAH
Whaddayou mean I can’t publish it?! How else can I make them all pay for what they did to Johnny!

724. ROBBIE
You can’t publish because the authorities refuse to comment. We have no pictures or statements to corroborate a story that includes gargoyles, a dead Green Goblin and everything except the kitchen sink. No one will believe it. I was there, and I don’t believe it! Print this, Jonah, and The Bugle becomes the next Daily Tattler.

725. JONAH
Ms. Brant, call the bomb squad. BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO EXPLODE!!

Jonah and Robbie sit. Gwen, Peter, Kong, Curt, Harry, EMILY OSBORN and Mary Jane STAND.

726. NARRATOR
Later still, aboard OsCorp’s private jet en route to Miami…

727. GWEN
I still can’t believe we ran into you in the airport parking lot, Doctor Connors.

728. PETER
Yeah, and we’re so sorry you got mugged.

729. KONG
Dude, they took your shoes?! That’s hilarious! <laughs>

730. CURT
Yes, well, I just really appreciate the ride back to Florida…

731. HARRY
Anytime, Doctor C. Anytime.

732. EMILY
Harry, could I have a moment… in your father’s office?

733. HARRY
Uh, sure, Mom.

Curt, Kong and Gwen sit.

734. MARY JANE
Pete, help.

735. PETER
What’s wrong?

736. MARY JANE
Tiny. Cute enough, but it’s like talking to a tree stump.

737. PETER
Tried to warn you.

738. MARY JANE
Just say we’ll spend the week as a threesome, okay, Tiger.

739. PETER
Sure!

740. MARY JANE
Not that kind of threesome.

Mary Jane and Peter sit.

741. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Harry follows his mother Emily into the jet’s private office.

742. EMILY
I know you were playing at being the Goblin, Harry.

743. HARRY
What?! Mom, that’s crazy! I was in the bathroom…

744. EMILY
Don’t lie to me, baby. You hired the worst chauffer in the city to delay our progress. You had a secret hatch installed in the bus bathroom, so you could slip in and out undetected. And you left a pre-recorded “vomit tape” with voice recognition software. All very impressive for a sixteen-year-old. But you need to understand… the Green Goblin is not what your father wanted for you.

745. HARRY
I have no idea what Dad wanted for me…

746. EMILY
Then let him tell you…

747. NARRATOR
She slips a DVD into the computer and Norman Osborn appears on screen…

NORMAN OSBORN STANDS.

748. NORMAN
Harry, my son. If you are watching this, then I am dead. And I have instructions…

Norman, Emily and Harry sit. Big Man, Blackie and SHARI STAND.

749. NARRATOR
Meanwhile at the Big Man’s office, he and Blackie Gaxton are visited by Shari, a young woman wearing a pendant depicting an eye atop a pyramid…

750. BIG MAN
Thirty-six.

751. BLACKIE
Thirty-five.

752. SHARI
Nine. Any problems?

753. BIG MAN
Not particularly. Ms. Destine was ready to believe I could find Dracon and the others useful.

754. BLACKIE
And that faux Goblin was happy to believe I’d been fooled into thinking he was the real thing.

755. NARRATOR
Blackie removes his false face, revealing that he is actually the Chameleon in disguise.

756. CHAMELEON
Just as he was happy to believe I was the real Blackie Gaxton. But I’m still not sure why the Society wanted all this…?

757. SHARI
Isn’t it enough to know the Illuminati appreciates your efforts?

CHAMELEON and Big Man sit. THAILOG, BRENTWOOD, Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 And Homunculus #3 STAND.

758. NARRATOR
Shari leaves Lincoln’s office and pulls out her cellphone…

759. SHARI
Dial Nightstone Unlimited.

760. THAILOG
Alexander Thailog.

761. SHARI
The Spear? The Crown?

762. THAILOG
Waiting for you to send to Duval.

763. BRENTWOOD
Brentwood capture little robot. Use it to control other little robots. When bright light shine, robots take spear and crown.

764. SHARI
Lovely.

765. THAILOG
What should we do with the Homunculi?

766. SHARI
Set them free. Maybe they’ll get their own series some day.

767. HOMUNCULUS #1
Free, free, set them free…

768. HOMUNCULUS #2
On basic cable and DVD…

769. HOMUNCULUS #3
Jazz hands!

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Shari, Thailog and Brentwood sit. Elisa and Goliath STAND.

770. NARRATOR
At the castle, Elisa’s cell rings.

771. ELISA
Maza… Yeah, Captain Stacy said you might call. Sure, he’s right here.

772. NARRATOR
She hands the phone to Goliath, who doesn’t quite know how to hold it. She takes it back and puts the call on speaker.

773. GOLIATH
Hello…?

Spider-Man STANDS.

774. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, Goliath. It’s your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

775. GOLIATH
You protect your… neighborhood.

776. SPIDER-MAN
Just like you do the super-hero thing without the tights.

777. GOLIATH
Spider-Man, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

778. SPIDER-MAN
Hey, I was just gonna say that. You saw that movie too?

779. GOLIATH
Movie?

780. ELISA
God, I love you… <kiss>

Elisa, Goliath and Spider-Man sit. Kafka STANDS.

781. NARRATOR
And finally â€" yes, finally â€" we end where we began. In the offices of Dr. Ashley Kafka at Ravencroft. She’s on the phone to her Board of Directors.

782. KAFKA
After all that tsuris, little has changed. Otto and Eddie are still disassociative. Max still needs a cure, and John still wants power. Cletus? He just keeps repeating, “I got a taste now,” over and over. Yes, we lost Dominic, I’m afraid. But we do have a new patient…

Dominique STANDS.

783. KAFKA (CONT)
…Dominique Destine.

784. DOMINIQUE
Just wait until the sun goes down…

Dominique and Kafka sit.

785. NARRATOR
The End.

THE END

NEXT: I finally get back to answering questions...

G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Two

BIG MAN STANDS.

247. NARRATOR
Act Two. The Big Man of Crime enters his offices, but finds he’s not alone…

248. BIG MAN
You spend so much time here, I’ll need to buy you your own chair. So you’ll stay out of mine.

Green Goblin STANDS.

249. GREEN GOBLIN
Surprised to see me?

250. BIG MAN
Not particularly.

251. GREEN GOBLIN
Then you won’t be surprised to learn I’m still running things…

252. BIG MAN
If you can run them from a hospital bed…

253. NARRATOR
Catching Gobby off guard, Lincoln punches him right through the window…

254. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact grunt>

255. NARRATOR
The goblin-glider swoops in and catches the Goblin, who pulls out a Pumpkin Bomb.

PUMPKIN BOMB STANDS.

256. GREEN GOBLIN
Ever the gracious host. And ever the gracious guest, the Goblin must show his appreciation. Here. I brought a gift.

257. NARRATOR
Gobby throws his “gift”, but Goliath swoops in, catches it and throws it back.

Goliath and Spider-Man STAND.

258. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

259. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact>

260. NARRATOR
Not far away…

261. SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, no, no… I was hoping I’d never hear that trademark Pumpkin Bomb shriek again…

262. NARRATOR
Spidey swings in to find Goliath and a recovering Gobby together…

263. SPIDER-MAN
So that’s what these gargoyles are… more of the Goblin’s Halloween creations…

264. NARRATOR
Spidey swings into action against Goliath.

265. GOLIATH, SPIDER-MAN
<ad-lib battle sounds>

266. GOLIATH
The Bugle was right about you: you are a threat and a menace!

267. SPIDER-MAN
Wait, you can talk? And read?! And what you read is the Jolly One’s editorials?!

268. GREEN GOBLIN
I know I should assassinate Mr. Lincoln. But I’m so enjoying the show. Really, someone should make more Gargoyles. I know: I’ll call Walt Disney.

Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Goliath, Pumpkin Bomb and Big Man sit. ANGELA, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY and LEXINGTON STAND.

269. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, atop the Eyrie Building, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway watch Angela playing with Brooklyn’s son Nashville…

270. ANGELA
That’s great, Nashville. This time try the axe…

271. BROADWAY
Wow, Angela looks so adorable playing with Gnash. I mean, Gnash is cute too…

272. BROOKLYN
Thanks. I know he hatched in another decade, but Katana and I discussed it, and we want the whole clan to be Gnash and Egwardo’s Rookery parents…

273. BROADWAY
We’d be honored…

274. LEXINGTON
I still can’t quite take it all in. I go to Britain for a few weeks, and everything changes…

275. BROADWAY
At least you were gone for weeks. Try adjusting in forty seconds.

276. BROOKLYN
Hey, I had forty years to get ready for this, and it’s still strange…

277. LEXINGTON
But, dude. You’re so… old.

278. BROOKLYN
Thanks.

279. LEXINGTON
Older than Goliath.

280. BROOKLYN
Yeah.

281. LEXINGTON
Almost Hudson’s age.

282. BROOKLYN
I get it. I’m old.

283. LEXINGTON
It’s not that. Everything about you is different.

284. BROOKLYN
Oh, come on…

285. BROADWAY
No, he’s right. The way you talk. The way you move. All those weapons you carry now. It’s like you’ve outgrown us.

286. BROOKLYN
That’s not fair. I can’t tell you how much I missed you both.

287. LEXINGTON
We get that. And we’re not mad. But…

288. BROOKLYN
Look, this isn’t all on me. As I recall, things were already changing. Broadway spent all his time with Angela.

289. BROADWAY
Not all my time.

290. LEXINGTON
Uh… pretty much.

291. BROADWAY
Yeah, well, you’re practically on the internet non-stop.

292. LEXINGTON
It’s addictive! Do you know they have porn on that thing? There’s this one website, Blue Mug Prodâ€"

293. BROOKLYN
I don’t wanna know. The point is we’ve all gone through some changes. That’s just life.

294. BROADWAY
I guess our Three Musketeer days are over…

295. LEXINGTON
Yeah…

Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

296. ZAFIRO
Gargoyles of Manhattan!

297. OBSIDIANA
We need you’re help!

298. NARRATOR
At just that moment, the sun rises, turning Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Angela and Gnash to stone. Obsidiana and Zafiro are unaffected, thanks to their mystic Mayan pendants.

299. ZAFIRO
Mierda.

300. OBSIDIANA
Nuestro cronometraje apesta hoy.

Obsidiana, Zafiro, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Angela sit. Spider-Man, Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

301. NARRATOR
Across town, Goliath also turns to stone.

302. SPIDER-MAN
What the heck?!

303. GREEN GOBLIN
Well, that was… unexpected.

304. SPIDER-MAN
All right, that’s enough. I know you’re not the real Gobby.

305. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes, yes, “It’s not the voice; it’s the words. Not the tech, but the moves.” I’ve heard it all before…

306. SPIDER-MAN
Then I know exactly who you really are: Chameleon!

307. GREEN GOBLIN
That would ease your conscience, wouldn’t it? To think I’m Chameleon â€" and not the ghost of the man you killed!

308. SPIDER-MAN
I don’t believe in ghosts.

309. GREEN GOBLIN
Then maybe you’d prefer I was the Spawn of Goblin.

310. SPIDER-MAN
Oh, you’d just love to shift the blame to Harry. Sorry, Gobby â€" I mean, Chammy â€" but we’ve been there, done that. Besides, no matter who you are, there hasn’t been time for the Globulin Green to kick in and truly Goblify you. So I’m gonna take you down now while you’re still just a cheap imitation.

311. GREEN GOBLIN
You could do that… or you could save stoneface over there.

312. NARRATOR
Gobby throws a pumpkin bomb at Goliath. Instinctively, Spidey webs it away…

313. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

Pumpkin Bomb and Green Goblin sit.

314. NARRATOR
By which time, the Goblin is gone, leaving a confused Spidey perched on Goliath’s head…

315. SPIDER-MAN
So in hindsight, I’m thinking maybe you weren’t part of the Gob-Squad, right?
(beat)
Fine. Stonewall me.

May STANDS.

316. NARRATOR
That morning in Forest Hills, Spidey sneaks in through his bedroom window, hoping to catch a few Zs.

317. MAY
Peter, are you awake.

318. PETER
Uh, sure Aunt May. Just getting dressed.

319. MAY
Well, hurry up. I’m… “conferencing” with all the other parents.

Robbie, ROSIE THOMPSON and George STAND.

320. ROBBIE
Are you sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Parker? Cuz I gotta say, what you’re proposing would be my worst nightmare.

321. MAY
<laughs> Oh, I don’t believe that for a minute, Mr. Robertson. It’s a joy to be around Peter and his friends. And I won’t be alone. Anna Watson and Mrs. Osborn will be with me.

322. ROSIE
Emily? She’s so… odd. I don’t think she’s ever said one word to me…

323. MAY
Well, I don’t know her very well, Rosie, but Harry is Peter’s best friend â€" no offense to your Eugene â€" so she must be doing something right.

324. ROSIE
May, you never change. Always seeing the best in people.

325. MAY
I’ll take that as a compliment, dear girl.

326. GEORGE
In any case, I’m glad to get Gwen out of Manhattan for a few days. The streets are looking pretty grim right about now.

327. MAY
Oh, I’m sure your officers will have things under control in no time.

328. PETER
Aunt May, what’s going on?

329. MAY
Oh, didn’t I tell you, Peter. I’m chaperoning your trip to Miami Beach!

330. PETER
Wow. Great.

Peter, May, George, Rosie and Robbie sit. Big Man and Dominique STAND.

331. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, back at L. Thompson Lincoln’s office…

332. BIG MAN
And how can I be of help, Ms. Destine.

333. DOMINIQUE
I think I can help you, Mr. Lincoln.

334. BIG MAN
What makes you think I need any help?

335. DOMINIQUE
Oh, little things. The shattered window, that unusual statue on the ledge outside…

336. BIG MAN
Point taken. How about you cut to the chase?

337. DOMINIQUE
Fine. Tony Dracon. Tomas Brod. Silvio Manfredi. All in jail. Hammerhead. Sable Manfredi. On the run. This gives you a unique opportunity to reclaim what was lost.

338. BIG MAN
I’m sure L. Thompson Lincoln has no idea what you’re talking about. But go on…

339. DOMINIQUE
You have three problems. Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and the government watching your every move.

340. BIG MAN
And you have the solution…

341. DOMINIQUE
I have the manpower. Three… “super-villains” to take down the competition and Dominic Dracon to use as a figurehead.

342. BIG MAN
The old man? I heard he was shy a few brain cells.

343. DOMINIQUE
It’s easy enough to spread the word he was faking insanity to avoid prosecution. And easy enough to assign him a keeper. Meanwhile, he’s a Dracon. And that name still carries weight, I believe.

344. BIG MAN
It does. But what would you want in exchange?

345. DOMINIQUE
Nothing extraordinary. Just the services of the Tinkerer.

346. BIG MAN
I believe that can be arranged.

347. DOMINIQUE
Lovely. But let’s not allow the moss to gather. You’ll want to move fast. Before the Octopus retrieves his arms…

Dominique and Big Man sit. SILVER SPOON MANAGER, Vulture, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and Electro STAND.

348. NARRATOR
The weather has turned cold. At the Silver Spoon, three men in trench coats and hats wait for their coffee.

349. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Sixty-nine!

350. VULTURE
Yes. Here.

351. NARRATOR
Vulture sits down with Electro and Doctor Octopus.

352. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Thank you, Adrian. Now. My arms?

353. VULTURE
In an OsCorp vault.

354. ELECTRO
At Rykers?!

355. VULTURE
<shhhhh> Not THE Vault. A vault. Still very high security, and the police are bound to expect our arrival, but…

356. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed. <sigh> OsCorp. Even in death, Norman Osborn torments me. But it cannot be helped. I must have my arms. We go in under cover of darkness tonight.

Doctor Octopus, Vulture and Electro sit. Silver Spoon Manager remains standing. Peter and Mary Jane STAND.

357. NARRATOR
The three men exit through one door. Two teenagers enter through another.

358. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy!

359. MARY JANE
Try to understand, Tiger. I just can’t do that to Gwen. She’s really become my best friend at Midtown.

360. PETER
But it’s not like we’d be making out or anything, right? Uh, right?

361. MARY JANE
Right.

362. PETER
Right, right. We’d be going as friends. Hanging out when the couples were … you know, coupling.

363. MARY JANE
And that would be great. But look at it from her point of view. She took all the risks, and you still wound up with Liz. There’s no way, she’d see me as anything but a threat. Wait, that sounded really conceited.

364. PETER
Have you looked in a mirror? Not conceited. Just fact.

365. MARY JANE
Ooh, nice one. Such a player.

366. PETER
Yeah, right. The world’s loneliest player.

367. MARY JANE
Stop it. I know you don’t want to hurt Gwen either. Not after all the two of you have been through.

368. PETER
Yeah… I wonder if Ms. Brant likes Miami. Kidding, kidding… Wow, pretty good. That was practically the Look.

369. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-One!

SEYMOUR O’REILLY stands.

370. PETER
So you’re just not going?

371. MARY JANE
Oh, I’m going. It’s 48 degrees outside and 82 in Miami. I asked Tiny to be my plus one.

372. PETER
Tiny?! Tiny McKeever?! The guy’s got the brain of an amoeba. He makes King Kong look like a genius. Hell, he makes Flash look like Stephen Hawking!

373. MARY JANE
(shrugs)
He’s cute.

374. PETER
<argggh> I just wish I could skip the whole thing. But Aunt May’s going, and after her heart attack, I really think she could use some fun in the sun--

375. SEYMOUR
Sorry to interrupt. Couldn’t help overhearing.

376. PETER
Oh, hey, Seymour.

377. SEYMOUR
Just wanted to let you know Harry invited me too. And I’m totally going stag. I mean who wants a ball and chain when Miami Beach is full of hotties, right?

378. PETER
Uh…

379. SEYMOUR
Just don’t expect to hang out, okay. You’d fully cramp my style.

380. PETER
Of course I would…

381. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-two!!

Silver Spoon Manager, Peter, Seymour and Mary Jane sit. Dominique and TINKERER STAND.

382. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, the Tinkerer arrives at the Destine Mansion…

383. DOMINIQUE
You have the devices?

384. TINKERER
Five was all I could put together on short notice. Unless you want to bring Mysterio in…?

385. DOMINIQUE
Our stage is crowded enough. And five should do quite nicely.

Dominique and Tinkerer sit. May, Mary Jane, GREG BISHANSKY, Sally, Gwen, Harry, Kong, Rand, Flash, Liz, Jason, Peter and Seymour STAND.

386. NARRATOR
Later that afternoon, Harry’s rented a party bus, and the gang is en route to the airport, stuck in heavy traffic on the expressway. A very prepared May Parker has a clipboard…

387. MAY
All right, we have three adults and sixteen children â€" sorry, sixteen teenagers. That’s nineteen sojourners bound for Florida. So why did my headcount come to twenty?

388. MARY JANE
I think you counted the bus driver, Mrs. Parker.

389. MAY
Oh, that I did.

390. BISHANSKY
Hey, twist my arm! I’ll go to Miami with you guys!!

391. SALLY
Was anyone talking to you?

392. BISHANSKY
Uh… no.

393. SALLY
Then eyes front.

394. BISHANSKY
Eyes front.

395. GWEN
Harry, are you all right?

396. HARRY
I dunno. All this stopping and starting. My stomach’s a little queasy…

397. KONG
Dude. Does this bus rock or what?!

398. RAND
‘Scool.

399. FLASH
Damn right it’s cool. Wouldn’t mind taking this baby all the way to Florida.

400. SALLY
Excuse me?! It’s a bus.

401. LIZ
Sally’s right. We’re not ditching the private jet for a bus. Right, Jason?

402. JASON
Uh…

403. SALLY
Right.

404. PETER
It really is a very nice bus though.

405. BISHANSKY
Hey, I’m not offended. I still can’t believe the Osborns hired me again. The last time, I got in two-- <impact grunt>

406. SEYMOUR
Dude, you totally rear-ended that guy at the tollbooth!

407. BISHANSKY
Not again…

408. SALLY
Wonderful. Now, we’ll be stuck here forever!

409. MAY
Everybody stay calm.

410. HARRY
Ah, man, gotta use the john…

411. KONG
<laughs> I think Osborn’s gonna hurl!

412. SALLY
Oh. My. God! If my hair starts smelling like vomit, I’ll sue you for bus-driver malpractice!!

413. BISHANSKY
Sorry, sorry…

Bishansky, Sally, Kong, Harry, May, Seymour, Peter, Jason, Liz, Flash, Rand, Gwen and Mary Jane sit. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

414. NARRATOR
The sun sets. At the castle, the gargoyles awaken…

415. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON
<awakening roars>

416. BROOKLYN
You must be Zafiro.

417. ZAFIRO
How did you know?

418. BROOKLYN
Strong family resemblance.

419. ZAFIRO
¿Perdón?

420. BROOKLYN
Long story. Time travel. The future. A whole other spin-off. Two actually…

421. OBSIDIANA
We don’t have time for your “spin-offs”. ¿Donde esta Goliath?

422. BROADWAY
He didn’t sleep here.

423. LEXINGTON
But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

Elisa STANDS.

424. ELISA
He’d better. We have trouble. Demona trouble.

425. OBSIDIANA
Elisa!

426. ELISA
Hi, Obsidiana. I’m betting you have trouble too…

Elisa, Obsidiana, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Zafiro sit. Kraven, Calypso, Curt and Gulyadkin STAND.

427. NARRATOR
And while the clan awaits Goliath’s return…

428. KRAVEN
It is time, Calypso.

429. CALYPSO
Yes. The forces gather. We can make this one our own.

430. CURT
I demand you let me go!

431. KRAVEN
Hold your tongue, American dog. Or Gulyadkin will hold it for you.

432. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

433. CALYPSO
Calm yourself… This change will not be difficult. The primitive bound within is barely skin-deep…

434. CURT
I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.

435. CALYPSO
I think you do. You see my companion. The details may have been created in a laboratory…

436. KRAVEN
But the soul of the Hunter â€" the beast inside â€" was always my own.

437. CURT
What are doing with that doll?

438. CALYPSO
Turning it inside out.

439. CURT
Listen to me, please. Even if you can release the “beast inside”, you don’t want to! It can’t be controlled.

440. KRAVEN
<laughs> Nyet. Not by you perhaps. But my Calypso is not so easily trifled with.

441. CALYPSO
It is time…

442. CURT
Noooo!!!! <transformation scream>

443. NARRATOR
Curt Connors is transformed by Calypso’s magic into the Lizard.

444. LIZARD
<roar>

445. KRAVEN
Now… to the Hunt!

Kraven, LIZARD, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit. Obsidiana, Zafiro, Angela, Elisa, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn STAND.

446. NARRATOR
Back at the Castle, Goliath has returned, and the entire clan has gathered. Elisa’s revealed what she knows about Demona. Now, it’s Obsidiana’s turn…

447. OBSIDIANA
It came from somewhere further south. Two human smugglers carrying an object of great power through the Green…

448. ZAFIRO
My mate is sensitive to these things. We tracked them, but they boarded a jet airplane and were soon out of our reach.

449. OBSIDIANA
Pero still I could sense great forces gathering. I asked Jade and Turquesa to teach us the way to Avalon…

450. ZAFIRO
Gabriel says hello, by the way.

451. ANGELA
Oh, I miss him. How is he?

452. ELISA
Angela, honey, let’s stay on point. I take it Avalon sent you here.

453. OBSIDIANA
Yes. We nearly achieved the totem, but a ridiculous human dressed in red and blueâ€"

454. ELISA, GOLIATH (UNISON)
Spider-Man…

455. OBSIDIANA
He did spin webs like a spider. Though from his hands, not hisâ€"

456. ZAFIRO
Focus, mi amor.

457. OBSIDIANA
Lo siento. This Man-Spider, he interfered. The smugglers escaped again. Now, power builds on power, rising to a crescendo.

458. BROADWAY
And that’s bad, right?

459. NARRATOR
Elisa’s cellphone rings.

Matt STANDS.

460. ELISA
Maza.

461. MATT
It’s Matt. Something’s going down at the OsCorp vault off the Expressway. Most of the Taskforce is already here. Stacy and his men too. But I’m thinking we might need… “back-up”. Lots and lots of back-up.

462. ELISA
We’re on our way. Brooklyn, can Bronx and Fu-Dog baby-sit Egwardo?

463. BROOKLYN
Of course.

464. ELISA
Good. Because otherwise it’s all hands on deck.

Elisa, Brooklyn, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath and Angela sit. George, Morgan and O’Neil STAND.

465. MATT
Okay, Captain. The rest of the Taskforce is on its way.

466. GEORGE
My men are deployed.

467. O’NEIL
And just in time! Cuz we got Gobby and his Pumpkin-Heads at 12 o’clock!

Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

468. GREEN GOBLIN
Playtime!

469. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

470. MORGAN
And a gargoyle at 3 o’clock!

471. GEORGE
That’s not a gargoyle. That’s the Vulture!

Vulture STANDS.

472. VULTURE
You were right, Otto. The police were waiting. And the Goblin is here too. You don’t think it could actually be Osborn, still alive, do you?

Doctor Octopus and Electro STAND.

473. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Do not get distracted by old grudges, Adrian. It hardly matters who wears the Green. His intent is still to prevent me from regaining my arms. You must keep the Goblin and the authorities occupied.

474. VULTURE
Of course.

475. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Now, Electro. Open the vault.

476. ELECTRO
Roger that, Doc!

477. NARRATOR
Electro, already inside, short-circuits the vault’s electro-magnetic lock.

Tinkerer and Demona STAND.

478. TINKERER
Electro’s breached the vault.

479. DEMONA
So predictable. Send in your operatives.

480. NARRATOR
Tinkerer opens a burlap sack, releasing his five “operatives”.

HOMUNCULUS #1, HOMUNCULUS #2, HOMUNCULUS #3, HOMUNCULUS #4 and HOMUNCULUS #5 STAND.

481. HOMUNCULUS #1
Homunculi to the rescue!

482. HOMUNCULUS #2
Dirty work to be done!

483. HOMUNCULUS #3
Peach Cobbler!

484. HOMUNCULUS #4
Uh oh, somebody’s language system’s off-line again.

485. HOMUNCULUS #5
You know it, girlfriend!

Calypso, Kraven and Lizard STAND.

486. NARRATOR
And down in the sewer…

487. CALYPSO
It is right above us, my love. The Power and the Glory. The very keys to the Kingdom.

488. KRAVEN
And Kraven will lay them all at your feet.

489. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

490. NARRATOR
Up top, a stretch limo skids to a stop outside the vault. Dominic Dracon and Fancy Dan emerge.

Dracon and FANCY DAN STAND.

491. DRACON
All right, boys. Get me those jewels!

492. FANCY DAN
I think what the boss means is… Destroy the competition!

Carnage, Colonel Jupiter and Venom STAND.

493. CARNAGE
<evil chuckle> Carnage time?

494. FANCY DAN
Yeah. Go. Kill. Whatever.

495. COLONEL JUPITER
Colonel Jupiter will stop the Green Goblin and Vulture in their tracks!

496. FANCY DAN
Knock yourself out. But what are you waiting for?

497. VENOM
Someone worthy of our hate. But we have faith… He’ll come…

498. GREEN GOBLIN
My, my, the field’s getting crowded. Let’s thin the herd. Pumpkin-Heads, release the hounds! <ahem> That was a metaphor. Throw your pumpkin bombs already!

499. PUMPKIN BOMB
<multiple shrieks>

Pumpkin Bomb, Green Goblin, Venom, Fancy Dan, Colonel Jupiter, Carnage, Dracon, Lizard, Kraven, Calypso, Homunculus #5, Homunculus #4, Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Demona, Tinkerer, Electro, Doctor Octopus, Vulture, George, Morgan, O’Neil and Matt SIT. May, Peter, Bishansky, Flash, Kong, Sally, Mary Jane, Gwen and Harry STAND.

500. MAY
Goodness, what was that?

501. PETER
Something The Bugle will want pictures of. Open the door.

502. BISHANSKY
Uh…

503. MAY
Peter Parker, I am not letting you off this bus in the middle of the expressway.

504. PETER
Aunt May we’re at a complete standstill. And you don’t have to worry. I’ll use my telephoto lens. I won’t be anywhere near the action.

505. MAY
I suppose it is your job… Open the door.

506. BISHANSKY
Yes, ma’am.

507. PETER
Thanks, Aunt May. You rock!

508. FLASH
If Puny Parker’s going, I’m going too!

509. MAY
Eugene Thompson, you sit your backside down in that seat right this minute.

510. FLASH
Yes, ma’am.

511. KONG
<laughs>

512. SALLY
What’s he going to take pictures with? I saw his camera get blown up two months ago.

513. MARY JANE
Pete’s a professional photographer, Sally. I’m sure he has more than one camera.

514. GWEN
Harry… Are you all right in there?

515. HARRY
<vomit noise> Ugh, don’t come in. It really isn’t pretty.

Harry, Gwen, Mary Jane, Sally, Kong, Flash, May, Peter and Bishansky sit. Broadway, Goliath, Brooklyn, Angela, Elisa, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

516. NARRATOR
The clan alights on a rise overlooking the battlefield.

517. BROADWAY
Whoa, what a mess…

518. GOLIATH
We will split our forces. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro with me.

519. BROOKLYN
Shouldn’t I lead the other contingent?

520. GOLIATH
I need your experience and your weapons at my side.

521. ANGELA
Don’t worry, Brooklyn, we’ve got it covered.

522. NARRATOR
Angela, Hudson, Katana, Gnash, Coldstone and Coldfire glide toward the battle.

523. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY (UNISON)
Be careful!

Angela sits.

524. ELISA
You know I’m going with you.

525. GOLIATH
Not this time, Elisa. You must join your fellow officers…

526. ELISA
Butâ€"

527. GOLIATH
When all is settled, we shall need your help to cover our retreat from this conflagration… You know this is true.

528. ELISA
(defeated)
Yes.

Elisa sits. Spider-Man STANDS.

529. NARRATOR
Elisa makes her way down the hill. Goliath and the others glide to the Vault’s roof. Spider-Man lands there at the same time.

530. SPIDER-MAN, ZAFIRO (UNISON)
You again!

531. GOLIATH
Hold, Spider-Man. I have a friend who knows your Captain Stacy.

532. SPIDER-MAN
Really?

533. GOLIATH
This policeman believes in you. So I choose to believe in you as well.

534. SPIDER-MAN
Says the eight-foot tall medieval monster. But I get it. We’re on the same side. So let’s go kick some Pumpkin-Butt!

535. ZAFIRO
¡Idiota! That battle is a mere distraction.

536. OBSIDIANA
The true danger lies within…

537. SPIDER-MAN
All right, all right, you had me at “Idiota”.

538. NARRATOR
The gargoyles rip open the rooftop. The seven heroes descend, but someone watches…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn sit. Venom and Fancy Dan STAND.

539. VENOM
And there goes our Bro…

540. FANCY DAN
You going in? That wasn’t the plan!

541. VENOM
And how do intend to stop us?

542. FANCY DAN
Fine, go. But if you see my Ricochet suit, bring it out!

Fancy Dan and Venom sit. Foswell, Jonah and Robbie STAND.

543. FOSWELL
See, J.J. The tip from Dracon’s old chauffer was right on the money.

544. JONAH
Whaddaya want, a fershlugginer medal?! Let’s get in there!

545. ROBBIE
Slow down, Jonah. I promised Joan I wouldn’t let you lose your head, figuratively or literally.

546. JONAH
Forget my head! Who cares about my head?! My boy needs me!

Ned and Colonel Jupiter STAND.

547. NED
Looks to me like your boy’s doing pretty well, Chief!

548. COLONEL JUPITER
Take that, miscreants!

549. ROBBIE
Ned, how did youâ€"

550. NED
Tip from one of the pumpkin-heads. Foswell’s not the only one with sources.

551. JONAH
You two can naked mud-wrestle over who’s the biggest brown-noser later. For now, Robbie, if you don’t let go of me in zero-point-zero seconds, I’ll dropkick you to next Season! And there’s no guarantee there’ll be a next Season!

552. NARRATOR
Jonah breaks away from Robbie, but his path is blocked…

Elisa STANDS.

553. ELISA
Get back! You want to wind up street pizza!

554. JONAH
But that’s my son up there.

555. ELISA
Yeah, well, at least he’s fighting on the right side.

556. COLONEL JUPITER
Nothing stands against the might of Colonel Jupiter!

557. ELISA
Does he always talk like that?

558. ROBBIE
Bombasticism runs in the family.

Robbie, Elisa, Colonel Jupiter, Jonah, Ned and Foswell sit. Vulture, Carnage, Green Goblin, Angela, Fancy Dan, Matt and Dracon STAND.

559. NARRATOR
Jupiter takes down Pumpkin-Heads right and left. Hudson squares off against Vulture.

560. VULTURE
Why do I get the old guy?

561. NARRATOR
You’re old. He’s old. It’s parallelism. Get over it.
(beat)
Coldstone and Coldfire isolate Carnage.

562. CARNAGE
No fair! These two don’t spatter at all!

563. NARRATOR
Angela and Katana take on the Goblin.

564. GREEN GOBLIN
Oh, goody. Gobby likes getting down and dirty with the hotties.

565. ANGELA
Oh, you did not just say that.

566. NARRATOR
And little Gnash goes after Fancy Dan.

567. FANCY DAN
Admit it, you gave me the kid because I’m short?

568. NARRATOR
Even Detective Bluestone gets into the act.

569. MATT
Freeze, Dracon!

570. DRACON
You’re confused. I’m G.F. Benton, a certified public accountant. I think I’ll be going now…

571. MATT
Yeah. Back to Ravencroft, you old nutter!

572. NARRATOR
But inside, things are a bit more serious…

Matt, Dracon, Fancy Dan, Angela, Green Goblin, Carnage and Vulture sit. Electro and Doctor Octopus STAND.

573. ELECTRO
Got your arms, Doc!

574. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
And my Megalo-Pack?

575. ELECTRO
You’re Mega-what now?

576. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
My power-source, Maxwell.

577. ELECTRO
Right, right. No. That’s not here.

578. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
What?!

Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #3 STAND.

579. HOMUNCULUS #1
Gotta get the true treasure!

580. HOMUNCULUS #2
Bring it back to the big Smurfette!

581. HOMUNCULUS #3
Blunk hates getting wet!

582. NARRATOR
Three Homunculi fly deeper into the vault to retrieve Demona’s prize.

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Zafiro, Spider-Man, Lexington, Homunculus #5, Goliath, Brooklyn, Broadway and Obsidiana STAND.

583. ZAFIRO
What are those things?!

584. SPIDER-MAN, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
Robots!

585. LEXINGTON
And I got one!

586. HOMUNCULUS #5
Leggo, you big bully!

587. LEXINGTON
<ugh> What an annoying voice…

588. HOMUNCULUS #5
(aside to audience)
Look who’s talking.

589. LEXINGTON
…But I might be able to use it to take control of the others.

590. SPIDER-MAN
I think I can help.

Venom STANDS.

591. VENOM
You’ll be a little too busy for that, Bro.

592. GOLIATH
Friend of yours?

593. SPIDER-MAN
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

594. VENOM
Die, Spider-Man!

595. VENOM, SPIDER-MAN
<add-lib battle sounds>

596. SPIDER-MAN
A little help?

597. NARRATOR
Brooklyn blasts Venom, who collapses.

598. VENOM
<vibrating scream>

Venom sits.

599. BROOKLYN
Sonic Cannon. Circa 2198. Guess my weapons do come in handy.

600. LEXINGTON
Just cover me until I can get this working…

Demona and Tinkerer STAND.

601. DEMONA
What’s wrong, Tinkerer? Why haven’t they returned?

602. TINKERER
Someone’s trying to counter their programming. He won’t succeed.

603. DEMONA
He had better not.

604. LEXINGTON
My hack’s being hacked!

605. TINKERER
He’s overriding my override!

Homunculus #4 STANDS.

606. HOMUNCULUS #4
Go right. Go left. Go right. Go left. Blow up!

607. NARRATOR
Homunculus #4 blows up. But so does Homunculus #5 in Lexington’s hands!

608. LEXINGTON
<pain cry>

609. BROADWAY
Lexington!

Homunculus #4 and Homunculus #5 sit.

610. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
This is madness! Grab my arms and get me out of here!

611. ELECTRO
Workin’ on it!

612. NARRATOR
Electro blasts away, until he and Doc Ock are blindsided by…

Kraven, Gulyadkin, Lizard and Calypso STAND.

613. ELECTRO, DOCTOR OCTOPUS
<impacts>

614. BROADWAY
Look, it’s Claw.

615. KRAVEN
<roar>

616. BROOKLYN
That’s not Claw.

617. BROADWAY
Well, it’s sure not Maggie.

618. GULYADKIN
<lion roar>

619. LEXINGTON
(recovering)
Is that an actual lion?

620. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

621. SPIDER-MAN
Lizard, too? Seriously, this is way over the top.
Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

622. HOMUNCULUS #1
Got the gizmo!

623. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi never fail!

624. NARRATOR
Two homunculi fly past, carrying a sealed container down a dark corridor.

625. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA (UNISON)
The totem!
(pointing at each other)
Don’t let her near it!

626. KRAVEN
Go, Calypso! Leave them to us!

627. ZAFIRO
¡Vaya, mi amor!

628. BROOKLYN
We got your back, Goliath! Go!

629. SPIDER-MAN
Think I’ll tag along too…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Calypso, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Goliath, Tinkerer and Demona sit.

630. NARRATOR
Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spider-Man race down the corridor.

631. KRAVEN
Lizard, take the reptile!

632. ZAFIRO
¡No soy ningún reptil! ¡Soy un Gárgolo!

633. ZAFIRO, LIZARD
<ad-lib battle sounds>

634. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin attack!

635. GULYADKIN
<pounce roar>

636. NARRATOR
Gulyadkin and Kraven attack Lex and Broadway!

637. LEXINGTON
Hey, get him off me!

638. BROADWAY
Kinda busy at the moment!

639. GULYADKIN, LEXINGTON, KRAVEN, BROADWAY
<ad-lib struggles>

640. NARRATOR
Brooklyn steps in and pulls both cats off his rookery brothers. They turn on him.

641. BROOKLYN
Uh oh.

642. BROADWAY, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
All for one!

643. NARRATOR
The two gargoyles return the favor, knocking Kraven and Gulyadkin aside. Then Brooklyn blasts them both.

644. BROOKLYN
And one for all!

645. KRAVEN, GULYADKIN
<blast impacts>

646. LEXINGTON
Some things never change.

647. NARRATOR
Zafiro throws Lizard’s unconscious body on top of Kraven…

648. KRAVEN, LIZARD
<oofs>

649. ZAFIRO
We should follow Obsidiana…

650. ZAFIRO, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
<electrocution scream>

651. NARRATOR
The four gargoyles are dropped by Electro’s blast.

652. ELECTRO
Still want out?

653. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed not. My curiosity is piqued. Let’s see where this leads…

Doctor Octopus, Electro, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Zafiro, Gulyadkin, Kraven and Lizard sit. Demona, Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

654. NARRATOR
Electro and Octopus head down the corridor… In a dimly lit room, Demona holds the Spear of Destiny and watches as the two homunculi open the container. Inside… is a crown of thorns.

655. DEMONA
The Crown of Thorns!

656. NARRATOR
Demona removes her tiara.

657. DEMONA
Place it on my head…

658. HOMUNCULUS #1
Placing, placing…

659. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi aim to please!

660. NARRATOR
The Homunculi gently lower the crown onto Demona’s head before disappearing back into the darkness. The thorns bite into her brow, drawing blood. Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spidey come rushing in.

Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Spider-Man, Goliath, Calypso and Obsidiana STAND.

661. DEMONA
My Kingdom come. My Will be done…

662. SPIDER-MAN
Friend of yours?

663. GOLIATH
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

664. DEMONA
On Earth as it is in Heaven…

665. CALYPSO
Too late…

666. OBSIDIANA
Too late…

667. DEMONA
For MINE is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever and ever…

668. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA, SPIDER-MAN (UNISON)
Amen…

669. NARRATOR
Light radiates outward from the Spear. Goliath watches in confusion as Calypso, Obsidiana and Spider-Man drop to their knees before Demona. Octopus and Electro enter and likewise fall to their knees. The light reaches the outer vault. Though still unconscious, Venom, Lizard, Zafiro and Kraven lurch to their feet, then drop to their knees. And still the light advances…

Obsidiana and Calypso sit.

670. GOLIATH
What sorcery is this?!

671. DEMONA
The most powerful human sorcery ever created, Goliath. This is humanity’s Armageddon. Their entire race’s final act.

END ACT TWO

NEXT: ACT THREE...

G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act One

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS. Act One. Late that night atop the Eyrie Building…

Dominique and Kafka sit. GOLIATH and ELISA MAZA STAND and KISS.

5. GOLIATH, ELISA
<kiss>

6. GOLIATH
There are some human customs I will never get used to Elisa. <kisses her again> This is not one of them.

7. ELISA
You’re in a good mood.

8. GOLIATH
I am. Hudson and Lexington are back from Europe, bringing Coldstone and Coldfire with them.

9. ELISA
<chuckle> Not to mention Brooklyn returning from forty years of TimeDancing with a mate, a son, a beast and an egg.

10. GOLIATH
The clan has doubled in size. What challenge can the Fates throw at us now that we cannotâ€"

11. NARRATOR
The sun rises. Goliath turns to stone.

12. ELISA
<groan> You just had to say that out loud, didn’t you?

Elisa and Goliath sit. MAY PARKER and PETER PARKER STAND.

13. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, in Forest Hills…

14. MAY
Peter, what are you doing up?

15. PETER
Studying for today’s English final. It’s on Midsummer Night’s Dream. And I missed seeing the Cliff Notes version.

16. MAY
Which may explain why you and Miss Allan are no longer a couple.

17. PETER
Aunt May, you know we didn’t break up because I missed her play.

18. MAY
You’re right; I shouldn’t be glib. I suppose there’s no chance that you and Gwen…

19. PETER
I don’t know. Not now anyway. Not when Harry’s hurting so much from the death of his father.

20. MAY
It hardly seems possible that Norman Osborn is gone. The Bugle says he was the Green Goblin, but I’m not sure I can believe that.

21. PETER
Sometimes, Aunt May… it’s, okay, to believe everything you read…

May and Peter sit. GREEN GOBLIN and BLACKIE GAXTON STAND.

22. NARRATOR
At a dive bar downtown, the Green Goblin BURSTS in on his glider…

23. GREEN GOBLIN
<tsk, tsk, tsk> Blackie. This place is scummy even by your pond-scum standards. Quite a comedown from your last gig…

24. BLACKIE
Tell that to the whacko who set a flaming super-villain loose in The Big Sky. Oh, wait. That was you.

25. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes. Yes, it was. <maniacal laugh>

26. BLACKIE
Weren’t you supposed to be dead?

27. GREEN GOBLIN
I was also supposed to be Osborn, but you didn’t buy that, did you? Just one of the many little tricks I keep up my sleeve. Nothing’s changed, Blackie. The Goblin’s still in charge.

28. BLACKIE
You hear me arguing?

29. GREEN GOBLIN
No. Now, gather my Pumpkin-Heads…

Blackie and Goblin sit. Kafka and Dominique STAND.

30. NARRATOR
At Ravencroft, Dominique Destine and Dr. Kafka supervises six inmates who work to excavate a sub-basement.

31. KAFKA
I still don’t understand what you expect to find down here.

32. DOMINIQUE
Vertros Ravencroft, the founder of this Institute, was a quirky soul. An intimate friend of Freud and Conan Doyle, he was a true believer in both psychotherapy and spiritualism.

33. KAFKA
You speak as if you knew him.

34. DOMINIQUE
Now how would that be possible?

35. KAFKA
It couldn’t, of course… But the dig?

36. DOMINIQUE
Yes. Ravencroft was also a collector. I have reason to believe he buried certain items of his collection here. Now, Doctor, didn’t you say you had meetings scheduled…

37. KAFKA
You’ll be all right down here alone?

38. DOMINIQUE
Your orderlies are in the hallway. And I’m quite self-sufficient. So run along.

Kafka sits. OTTO OCTAVIUS STANDS.

39. DOMINIQUE
Excellent work, Doctor Octavius. Very precise.

40. OTTO
Thank you. I appreciate having something to occupy my hands…

41. DOMINIQUE
Your hands? Not… your arms?

42. OTTO
Arms? I… I hope you’re not referring to my unfortunate… b-b-breakdown.

43. DOMINIQUE
What would be the point? Believe me, Doctor, no one better understands the advantage of creating a false front.

ELECTRO STANDS.

44. ELECTRO
I’ve blasted away another section of cement.

45. DOMINIQUE
Thank you, Maxwell.

46. ELECTRO
Don’t. Call. Me. That.

47. DOMINIQUE
Don’t. Tell. Me. What to do… Electro.

48. ELECTRO
Uh… okay.
(asides to Otto)
She’s a little scary.

49. OTTO
Indeed.

Otto and Electro sit. DOMINIC DRACON, JOHN JAMESON, EDDIE BROCK and CLETUS KASSADY STAND.

50. DRACON
I blame Mace. When that crook cheated me, I lost face. But when I get the jewels back, they’ll respect me again. Did Mace bury the jewels here?

51. DOMINIQUE
Maybe he did, Dominic. Keep working.

52. JOHN
What’s the point? How is tearing up a basement supposed to bring me Colonel Jupiter’s power?!

53. EDDIE
Shut up and dig.

54. JOHN
You like doing this?!

55. EDDIE
I hate it. But I need that hate. I need to keep the hate alive.

56. DOMINIQUE
Such an interesting crew. And what do you want out of life, Cletus…

57. CLETUS
Nothing too fancy. <chuckles> Just a little carnage.

Cletus, Dominique, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. GWEN STACY and Peter STAND.

58. NARRATOR
That afternoon, at Midtown High…

59. GWEN
Hey, Pete. How’d you do?

60. PETER
Ugh, horrible, probably. I mean you know English is like my worst subject. It’s all so subjective andâ€"

61. GWEN
Peter.

62. PETER
Okay, okay… not the look! I probably aced it. Happy?

63. GWEN
That you did well. Always.

64. PETER
Thanks. Look, Gwen, I--

HARRY OSBORN STANDS.

65. HARRY
Well, what have we here? My best friend and girlfriend conferring in a corner. Planning a surprise party for me?

66. PETER
Uh, it’s not your birthday, Harr.

67. HARRY
I thought maybe it was a thank you bash. For giving you both these…

68. GWEN
(reading)
“You are cordially invited to spend Spring Break traveling by private jet to Miami, where you’ll stay, all-expenses-paid, at the Osborn Winter Compound on the Beach…"

69. PETER
You’re inviting the three of us to spend a week together in Florida?

70. HARRY
Not just the three of us…

KENNY KONG, FLASH THOMPSON and MARY JANE WATSON stand.

71. KONG
Osborn, dude! You rock!

72. FLASH
Seven days in the sun and surf.

73. KONG
All you can eat!

74. FLASH
Girls in bikinis!

75. FLASH, KONG (UNISON)
Score! <laughter>

76. MARY JANE
Hi, Sha Shan. Hi, Glory.

77. FLASH
Sha Shan… uh… So… how much of that did you hear?

78. KONG
Look, Glory, you know I meant you, right? I mean who else would I want to see in a bikini. Uh, you’re not gonna break up with me again, are you?

Kong and Flash sit. SALLY AVRIL, RAND ROBERTSON, LIZ ALLAN and JASON IONELLO STAND.

79. SALLY
Oh. My. God. Harry, I just found the invitation in my locker. And all I have to say is that you can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy anytime you want!

80. HARRY
You okay with that Rand?

81. RAND
‘Scool. You can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy too.

82. PETER
Exactly how many people did you invite to this thing?

83. HARRY
A handful. Kenny and Glory. Flash and Sha Shan. Rand and Sally. Hobie and Mindy. M.J. Gwen. Oh, and you and Liz, of course.

84. GWEN
Harry… Liz and Peter broke up.

85. HARRY
You did?! Wow. I had no idea. Guess I’ve just been so focused on my own problems. My Dad dying and everything. That’s why I need this trip. Gotta clear my head, you know? But maybe you two could reconcile…

86. SALLY
I don’t think so!

87. LIZ
It’s too late for that Harry. I’m with Jason now. We totally fell in love doing the play together.

88. JASON
We did?

89. SALLY / LIZ (UNISON)
Yes, you did. / Yes, we did.

90. LIZ
You don’t mind if I bring Jason instead of Petey, do you.

91. HARRY
The more the merrier.

92. LIZ
Thanks, Harry. You’re a doll. Kisses!

Liz, Sally, Jason and Rand sit.

93. HARRY
Pete, you’re still invited too. Course, it’s more of a couple’s thing. But M.J.’s guy is in prison…

94. MARY JANE
Thank you, Harry. Hadn’t been reminded of that in the last five minutes.

95. HARRY
Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I can’t help remembering the Fall Formal. You two made such a great pair! Don’t you think so, Gwen?

96. GWEN
Great.

97. PETER
I… suppose we could go… as friends. Just as friends.

98. MARY JANE
We’ll talk later, Tiger.

Mary Jane, Peter, Gwen and Harry sit. Kafka and CURT CONNORS STAND.

99. NARRATOR
Late that afternoon in Dr. Kafka’s office…

100. KAFKA
Doctor Connors, it’s good to see you. I’d heard you moved to Florida.

101. CURT
I did. But I never stopped working on a cure for Max Dillon. I think I’ve made some real progress.

102. KAFKA
That’s wonderful news. Max is downstairs… doing “work-therapy”. I’ll take you to him…

Kafka and Curt sit. Otto, Dominique, Electro, Dracon, John, Eddie and Cletus STAND.

103. ELECTRO
Ms. Destine. I think I found something.

104. DRACON
Is it my jewels?

105. OTTO
It… it appears to be a spearhead. It looks quite old.

106. DOMINIQUE
Give it to me.

107. ELECTRO
Sure, sure.

108. DOMINIQUE
Yes. This is it. I think we’re done, boys.

109. OTTO
Indeed. And just as the dig brought us right up against Ravencroft’s outer wall.

110. ELECTRO
You mean this wall?!

111. NARRATOR
Electro blasts a huge hole in the wall. When the smoke clears, the Vulture is waiting. He grabs Octavius.

VULTURE STANDS.

112. VULTURE
You’re coming with me, Otto.

113. OTTO
No, no, stop. I don’t want this life anymore… I’m trying to get better!! Let me go!!

114. ELECTRO
Shut it, Doc! It’s for your own good!

115. OTTO
Nooooooo!!!!

Otto, Electro and Vulture sit.

116. NARRATOR
Vulture and Electro leave with Octavius. Dominique watches them go.

117. DOMINIQUE
Well, that was diverting. And such excellent timing as well: it’s sunset. <transformation scream>

118. NARRATOR
With the setting of the sun, Dominique Destine transforms into a gargoyle… just as Kafka and Connors enter…

Kafka and Curt STAND.

119. KAFKA / CURT
Oh my god… / What in the world?!

120. NARRATOR
Demona effortlessly slams them both against a wall and turns to the remaining inmates…

121. CURT, KAFKA
<impacts, moans>

122. DEMONA
Listen carefully, humans. For I have listened to you. I can make all your petty little dreams come true. Dominic demands respect.

123. DRACON
Yes.

124. DEMONA
John craves power.

125. JOHN
Yes!

126. DEMONA
Eddie needs hate.

127. EDDIE
YES!

128. DEMONA
And all Cletus desires is a little carnage.

129. CLETUS
Or a lot. I’m not picky.

130. DEMONA
Then stick with me, boys. Respect, power, hatred, carnage. These are things I know…

DEMONA, Cletus, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. ALAN O’NEIL and GEORGE STACY STAND.

131. NARRATOR
Later, the police arrive to investigate…

132. O’NEIL
And you never met this broad before in your life…

133. KAFKA
She had excellent references, Officer O’Neil. It’s not like I grant just anyone access to my patients…

134. O’NEIL
And you wonder why people think they belong at Rykers.

135. GEORGE
There’s nothing else you can tell me, Doctor?

136. CURT
I’m sorry, Captain Stacy, but no. It was a creature.

137. GEORGE
Like that Lizard-thing from last fall?

138. CURT
No! No. Nothing like that. More like… like those things on the news that blew up the clock tower.

139. GEORGE
You mean the 23rd Precinct.

140. CURT
Yes.

141. GEORGE
You’re saying a gargoyle kidnapped those men.

142. CURT
Yes. No. I don’t know. Can I leave now?

George, O’Neil and Kafka sit. DILBERT TRILBY and NED LEE stand.

143. NARRATOR
But outside…

144. TRILBY
Doctor Connors! Dilbert Trilby, Action News. What can you tell our audience about the escape?

145. CURT
Nothing. No comment.

146. NED
Hey, Doc. Remember me? Ned Lee from The Bugle. Can you just tell me who escaped? Doc Ock? Electro? Colonel Jupiter â€" I mean, Colonel Jameson?

147. CURT
I’m sure the police will issue a statement. Now, I have to go.

Trilby sits. CALYPSO EZILI, KRAVEN THE HUNTER and GULYADKIN STAND.

148. NARRATOR
Connors hurries away down the street, as a limousine with dark-tinted windows pulls up in front of Ravencroft.

149. CALYPSO
We are too late, my love. The Christian Totem is gone.

150. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin and I will track it for you.

151. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

152. CALYPSO
I’m afraid that is beyond even your impressive abilities, Sergei, my love. But I have my own ways, as you well know…

153. KRAVEN
Of course, Calypso.

154. CALYPSO
Who is that? That man trying to hail a cab?

155. KRAVEN
He is a stranger to my eyes. Yet his scent is familiar.

156. CALYPSO
His aura glows with primal energies and may be of use to us.
(to Curt)
You need a ride.

157. CURT
What? No. No, thank you. I’ll get a cab.

158. KRAVEN
She wasn’t asking.

159. CURT
<scream>

160. NARRATOR
Kraven drags Connors into the limo, which quickly drives away…

Curt, Kraven, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit.

161. NED
Hello, Robbie? I’ve got something.

J. JONAH JAMESON, JOE “ROBBIE” ROBERTSON and FREDERICK FOSWELL STAND.

162. JONAH
Is that Lee? Put him on speaker.

163. ROBBIE
Now, Jonah, stay calm…

164. JONAH
Don’t you tell me to stay calm, Joe Robertson. It’s not your son at risk. Lee, you there?! I’ll give you exactly three-point-seven seconds to tell me John’s all right!

165. NED
Wish I could, Chief. But he disappeared with the rest. There are six inmaâ€" uh, patients missing. It’s not clear if they busted out or were kidnapped.

166. JONAH
Well, of course John was kidnapped. You think my son would--

167. ROBBIE
Ned, give me the whole list.

168. JONAH
Who cares about the listâ€"

169. ROBBIE
It could provide a lead to John.

170. NED
Doc Ock. Electro. John. Uh… let’s see. Edward Brock Jr., Cletus Kasady and Dominic Dracon.

171. FOSWELL
Dominic Dracon? The old mob boss? There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.

172. JONAH
Foswell, you know that world! Find out where Dracon might have gone!

173. FOSWELL
You got it, J.J.

174. JONAH
Lee, you stick to the damn super-villain angle! Ock, Electro. What’s their next move?!

175. NED
Right, boss!

176. JONAH
Robbie, I want every available man on this. No, damnit, I want every man, woman and child on this, available or not. Call Parker. Put Benny the copyboy on it. But Ms. Brant on it. I want John Jameson safely back in his mother’s arms in six-point… six-point…

177. ROBBIE
It’s okay, Jonah. We’re on it.

178. JONAH
Good. Good. I’ll… I’ll hit the streets myself. I’m still the best damn reporter in New York City! Just have to make a call first. Well, what are you all waiting for, get out! Out!

Robbie, Ned and Foswell sit.

179. JONAH (CONT)
Hello, is this WVRN? Travis Marshall, please. Travis? It’s Jonah. I got a lead for you on the Ravencroft thing.
(pauses, listening)
Whaddayou care why I’m helping the competition?! I know I hate television! You don’t have to tell me that! I’m not trying to sandbag you, damnit, I… I’m just trying to find my son… any way I can.

Jonah sits. SPIDER-MAN STANDS.

180. NARRATOR
That night finds Spider-Man swinging through the city…

181. PETER (VO)
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Harry was trying to torture me and Gwen. Then again, M.J. is quite the consolation prize. Ah, man, what am I saying? I’m in love with Gwen. Gwen. Gwendolyn Stacy. Just have to get through the next few weeks and then Harry’ll be in a better place, and she and I--

182. NARRATOR
Pete’s ringtone plays Itsy-Bitsy Spider.

183. SPIDER-MAN
Hello?

Robbie STANDS.

184. ROBBIE
Pete. Joe Robertson. There’s been an incident at Ravencroft.

Robbie sits.

185. SPIDER-MAN
Uh huh… uh huh… Wait, who’s missing? Uh oh. Him too? Oh, crap. Sorry, I mean-- What?! Seriously?! Uh, right. Yeah, I’ll keep my eyes open. Camera lens at the ready. Thanks for the heads up. Bye.
(to himself)
Whoa. At least this day can’t get any worse!

SMUGGLER #1 stands.

186. SMUGGLER #1
What the hell are those things?!

187. SPIDER-MAN
When am I gonna learn not to say that out loud?

188. NARRATOR
Spidey swings down to find two men in a van being attacked by two gargoyles, Obsidiana and Zafiro…

ZAFIRO and OBSIDIANA STAND.

189. SPIDER-MAN
Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but this lady-esque-blue-creature-thing matches the description of another lady-esque-blue-creature-thing who just busted some folks out of Ravenâ€"

190. ZAFIRO
What is he babbling about?

191. OBSIDIANA
I have no idea. I sense no connection between him and the source of the disturbance. But these two…

192. SMUGGLER #1
Keep her away from us!!

193. SPIDER-MAN
You see, now I’m on the horns of a dilemma… Uh, no offense. It’s just an expression; I wasn’t referring to your rather striking… Never mind. See in this particular Spider-Man’s experience, when genetic misfits attack ordinary human beings, I’m gonna have to side with the humans.

194. ZAFIRO
Qué sorpresa. A human with no knowledge of the situation leaping to defend one of his own.

195. NARRATOR
Zafiro attacks Spidey.

196. ZAFIRO, SPIDER-MAN
<ad lib battle efforts, impacts>

197. NARRATOR
Obsidiana rips open the top of the van.

198. OBSIDIANA
<rip effort>

199. SMUGGLER #1
Stay back!

200. NARRATOR
The two humans open fire on her, forcing her to leap away… The van peels out. Obsidiana tries to follow, but Spidey webs her wings together.

Smuggler #1 sits.

201. OBSIDIANA
Por favor! You don’t understand the powers that are gathering!!

202. SPIDER-MAN
And you’re the one doing the Gathering, I take it!

203. OBSIDIANA
No!

204. ZAFIRO
Enough!

205. SPIDER-MAN
<impact grunt>

206. NARRATOR
Zafiro slams Spidey into a wall. By the time the web-slinger recovers, the gargoyles are gone…

Zafiro and Obsidiana sit.

207. SPIDER-MAN
<groan> For a guy with no legs, that snake-thing can move…

Spider-Man sits. George and MARIA CHAVEZ STAND.

208. NARRATOR
Not far away…

209. GEORGE
Captain Chavez.

210. CHAVEZ
Captain Stacy. What brings you to what’s left of the 23rd?

211. GEORGE
It’s the Ravencroft thing. I’ve got corroborating witnesses telling me a gargoyle was involved.

212. CHAVEZ
<sigh> I miss the days when being a cop didn’t involve a working knowledge of The Twilight Zone.

213. GEORGE
Welcome to the Freak Show.

214. CHAVEZ
Anyway, as it happens, the Gargoyle Taskforce is meeting right now. First trailer on the right. Ask for Bluestone.

Chavez sits. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN MORGAN, MARGOT YALE and Elisa STAND.

215. NARRATOR
Minutes later…

216. GEORGE
And that’s all I know…

217. MATT
Well, that is interesting, or, you know… really, really scary.

218. MORGAN
I’ll say, Detective. With or without a gargoyle, I’ve heard Ock and Electro are bad news. And that Cletus Kasady: he killed five people before--

219. MARGOT
Forget Kasady. Any idiot can bring a serial killer down. It’s the gargoyle we should be concerned with. It’s what I’ve been saying all along! Those monsters are dangerous!

220. MATT
I think what A.D.A. Yale is saying, Captain, is that the Taskforce is on it. We’ll let you know if we hear anything. And we’ll be checking in with all our sources, won’t we, Detective?

221. ELISA
And fast.

Elisa, Matt, Margot, Morgan and George sit. Smuggler #1 and Demona STAND.

222. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, a van with a torn up roof pulls up to a Gramercy Park Mansion… The driver speaks into the intercom…

223. SMUGGLER #1
Longinus sent me.

224. DEMONA
Leave the package. Then take your money and go. While you still can.

225. SMUGGLER #1
Geez, who lives here? Dracula’s daughter?

Smuggler #1 sits. Eddie, John and Cletus STAND.

226. NARRATOR
Demona collects her package.

227. EDDIE
The old guy’s asleep. What’s that?

228. DEMONA
A simple wooden shaft. The prize of Adolph Hitler’s personal collection. After his… demise, his remaining followers smuggled it to Brazil. I paid handsomely to have it smuggled to me.

229. EDDIE
Why? I mean sure, it’s the shaft of a spear. Completes the set with that arrowhead you took from Ravencroft. But why do we care?

230. DEMONA
Here’s why.

231. NARRATOR
Demona joins the spear and spearhead together. Instantly, it radiates incredible power.

232. DEMONA
The Holy Lance. The Spear of Destiny. The weapon that pierced the side of the Christ. Do you still want power, John? This is power.

233. JOHN
Give it to me. Give it!

234. DEMONA
No. This power is mine. But I will use it to give you back your own…

235. NARRATOR
She points the Spear at John Jameson. The magic surrounds him and transforms him into Colonel Jupiter!

236. COLONEL JUPITER
<transformation scream> Yes! The power is mine! I am Colonel Jupiter!

237. DEMONA
For what that’s worth… Now for Eddie.

238. VENOM
<transformation scream>

239. DEMONA
Happy now?

240. VENOM
Extremely. We are Venom again.

241. DEMONA
And what about you, Cletus?

242. CLETUS
(pointing at Venom)
I’ll have what he’s having…

243. DEMONA
As you wish… Carnage.

244. CARNAGE
<transformation scream>

245. VENOM
All right, Demona. You’re the Mirror Universe Wizard of Oz. But what now?

246. DEMONA
Mine is the Power. But I still require the Kingdom and the Glory. This is only the first act, humans… or whatever you are now. The main event is still to come…

Demona, VENOM, CARNAGE and COLONEL JUPITER sit.

END ACT ONE

TOMORROW: ACT TWO...

G2009 Radio Play

Okay, gang, here's the Title Page, Cast List and Teaser for the G2009 Radio Play. As I've mentioned before this is NOT canon for either GARGOYLES or THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN. It's just a goof, which I wrote in three days. As anyone who was at the Gathering knows, it was a tremendous success. ALL credit for that should go to (a) my amazing cast of professional voice actors and talented fans and (b) my ability to pander mercilessly to my audience. So READING it, as opposed to seeing it, may be quite the let down. If you dislike it, well, what do you expect from a script written in three days? And if you like it, I guess I am a genius. ;)

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
MEETS
GARGOYLES

Religious Studies 101:
A Handful of Thorns

A Radio Play Crossover Event

Written by
Greg Weisman

For
The Thirteenth Annual
Gathering of the Gargoyles
in
Los Angeles, California

Performed August 22, 2009.

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN MEETS GARGOYLES
“Religious Studies 101: A Handful of Thorns”
(Radio Play)
CAST LIST
NARRATOR 104 lines. (Greg Weisman)
SPIDER-MAN/PETER PARKER 76 lines. (Josh Keaton)
DEMONA/DOMINIQUE DESTINE 60 lines. (Marina Sirtis)
GOLIATH 32 lines. (Keith David)
LEXINGTON 24 lines. (Thom Adcox)
ELISA MAZA 23 lines. (Zehra Fazal)
BROOKLYN 22 lines. (John Clemens)
CURT CONNORS/LIZARD 22 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
BROADWAY 19 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
ZAFIRO 19 lines. (Joshua Poole)
MAY PARKER 19 lines. (Deborah Strang)
GREEN GOBLIN 18 lines. (Steve Blum)
OBSIDIANA 17 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
KRAVEN THE HUNTER 17 lines. (Eric Vesbit)
HARRY OSBORN 17 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
DOCTOR OCTOPUS/OTTO OCTAVIUS 17 lines. (Michael McAdam)
J. JONAH JAMESON 16 lines. (Daran Norris)
MARY JANE WATSON 16 lines. (Vanessa Marshall)
ELECTRO 15 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
VENOM/EDDIE BROCK 15 lines. (Ben Isaac Diskin)
GEORGE STACY 14 lines. (Lucas McClain)
BIG MAN 13 lines. (Keith David)
CALYPSO EZILI 13 lines. (Jennifer L. Anderson)
ASHLEY KAFKA 12 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
ROBBIE ROBERTSON 10 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
LIZ ALLAN 10 lines. (Kaitlyn Robrock)
SALLY AVRIL 10 lines. (Jennifer L. Anderson)
GWEN STACY 10 lines. (Sarah Williams)
MATT BLUESTONE 9 lines. (Eric Tribou)
GREG BISHANSKY 8 lines. (Greg Bishansky)
KENNY KONG 8 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
COLONEL JUPITER/JOHN JAMESON 8 lines. (Daran Norris)
NED LEE 7 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
VULTURE 7 lines. (Seth Jackson)
FLASH THOMPSON 7 lines. (Ian Bassett)
SHARI 6 lines. (Zehra Fazal)
FANCY DAN 6 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
GULYADKIN 6 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
CARNAGE/CLETUS KASADY 6 lines. (Ian Bassett)
HOMUNCULUS #1 5 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
HOMUNCULUS #2 5 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
SMUGGLER #1 5 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
DOMINIC DRACON 5 lines. (Seth Jackson)
BLACKIE GAXTON 5 lines. (Steve Blum)
EMILY OSBORN 4 lines. (Kaitlyn Robrock)
TINKERER 4 lines. (Thom Adcox)
SEYMOUR O’REILLY 4 lines. (Steve Blum)
SILVER SPOON MANAGER 4 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
ANGELA 4 lines. (Sarah Williams)
PUMPKIN BOMB 4 lines. (Nicki France)
THAILOG 3 lines. (Keith David)
HOMUNCULUS #3 3 lines. (Steve Blum)
HOMUNCULUS #5 3 lines. (Thom Adcox)
MARIA CHAVEZ 3 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
FREDERICK FOSWELL 3 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
ALAN O’NEIL 3 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
HOMUNCULUS #4 2 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
ROSIE THOMPSON 2 lines. (Vanessa Marshall)
MARGOT YALE 2 lines. (Marina Sirtis)
MORGAN MORGAN 2 lines. (Keith David)
JASON IONELLO 2 lines. (Ben Isaac Diskin)
RAND ROBERTSON 2 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
BRENTWOOD 1 line. (Fox Anderson)
CHAMELEON 1 line. (Steve Blum)
NORMAN OSBORN 1 line. (Eric Vesbit)
DILBERT TRILBY 1 line. (Steve Blum)

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN MEETS GARGOYLES
“Religious Studies 101: A Handful of Thorns”
Radio Play

1. NARRATOR
Manhattan. The Ravencroft Institute. Office of Institute Director, Dr. Ashley Kafka.

ASHLEY KAFKA STANDS.

2. KAFKA
A… “dig” beneath the building’s foundation can’t help but disturb our residents. And this list of patients you’ve requested for the excavation: Edward Brock Jr., Maxwell Dillon, John Jameson, Cletus Kasady, Otto Octavius, Dominic Dracon… These are some of the most disturbed â€" perhaps even dangerous inmates we have here at Ravencroft. There’s even been some suggestion a few of them belong in the OsCorp Vault at Rykers. I know you have connections on our Board of Directors, Ms. D’STYNE, but--

DOMINIQUE DESTINE STANDS.

3. DOMINIQUE
It’s pronounced Des-STEEN. Dominique Destine. And you’ll find we’ll get along better, Doctor… if you give me what I want.

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS.

TOMORROW: ACT ONE...

Misinformation...

So I did a bit of lurking on sites like IGN, Toonzone, S8 and Superherohype and the quantity of misinformation based on my statements here and in a couple of brief, brief interviews is truly depressing. So let me at least attempt to dispel some of the erroneous assumptions that have been made.

1. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN you'd be able to use Kingpin?

Answer: I have no idea.

2. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN, you still would not be able to use Kingpin?

Answer: I have no idea.

3. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN you'd be able to use Johnny Storm?

Answer: I have no idea.

4. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN, you still would not be able to use Johnny Storm?

Answer: I have no idea. (Sense a trend?)

5. Is it true that THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is the first "victim" of the Disney/Marvel merger?

Answer: It's WAY too soon to know, but I have no particular reason to think so. I'd think this merger could only HELP us, as Disney would now be more personally invested in the series.

6. Is it true that THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is all but guaranteed a third season now that Disney/Marvel is merging?

Answer: It's WAY too soon to know. Our last six episodes will be airing between October and December. I'm sure the biggest factor for or against any renewal is RATINGS, RATINGS, RATINGS. Either that, or maybe RATINGS.