G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Two

BIG MAN STANDS.

247. NARRATOR
Act Two. The Big Man of Crime enters his offices, but finds he’s not alone…

248. BIG MAN
You spend so much time here, I’ll need to buy you your own chair. So you’ll stay out of mine.

Green Goblin STANDS.

249. GREEN GOBLIN
Surprised to see me?

250. BIG MAN
Not particularly.

251. GREEN GOBLIN
Then you won’t be surprised to learn I’m still running things…

252. BIG MAN
If you can run them from a hospital bed…

253. NARRATOR
Catching Gobby off guard, Lincoln punches him right through the window…

254. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact grunt>

255. NARRATOR
The goblin-glider swoops in and catches the Goblin, who pulls out a Pumpkin Bomb.

PUMPKIN BOMB STANDS.

256. GREEN GOBLIN
Ever the gracious host. And ever the gracious guest, the Goblin must show his appreciation. Here. I brought a gift.

257. NARRATOR
Gobby throws his “gift”, but Goliath swoops in, catches it and throws it back.

Goliath and Spider-Man STAND.

258. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

259. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact>

260. NARRATOR
Not far away…

261. SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, no, no… I was hoping I’d never hear that trademark Pumpkin Bomb shriek again…

262. NARRATOR
Spidey swings in to find Goliath and a recovering Gobby together…

263. SPIDER-MAN
So that’s what these gargoyles are… more of the Goblin’s Halloween creations…

264. NARRATOR
Spidey swings into action against Goliath.

265. GOLIATH, SPIDER-MAN
<ad-lib battle sounds>

266. GOLIATH
The Bugle was right about you: you are a threat and a menace!

267. SPIDER-MAN
Wait, you can talk? And read?! And what you read is the Jolly One’s editorials?!

268. GREEN GOBLIN
I know I should assassinate Mr. Lincoln. But I’m so enjoying the show. Really, someone should make more Gargoyles. I know: I’ll call Walt Disney.

Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Goliath, Pumpkin Bomb and Big Man sit. ANGELA, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY and LEXINGTON STAND.

269. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, atop the Eyrie Building, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway watch Angela playing with Brooklyn’s son Nashville…

270. ANGELA
That’s great, Nashville. This time try the axe…

271. BROADWAY
Wow, Angela looks so adorable playing with Gnash. I mean, Gnash is cute too…

272. BROOKLYN
Thanks. I know he hatched in another decade, but Katana and I discussed it, and we want the whole clan to be Gnash and Egwardo’s Rookery parents…

273. BROADWAY
We’d be honored…

274. LEXINGTON
I still can’t quite take it all in. I go to Britain for a few weeks, and everything changes…

275. BROADWAY
At least you were gone for weeks. Try adjusting in forty seconds.

276. BROOKLYN
Hey, I had forty years to get ready for this, and it’s still strange…

277. LEXINGTON
But, dude. You’re so… old.

278. BROOKLYN
Thanks.

279. LEXINGTON
Older than Goliath.

280. BROOKLYN
Yeah.

281. LEXINGTON
Almost Hudson’s age.

282. BROOKLYN
I get it. I’m old.

283. LEXINGTON
It’s not that. Everything about you is different.

284. BROOKLYN
Oh, come on…

285. BROADWAY
No, he’s right. The way you talk. The way you move. All those weapons you carry now. It’s like you’ve outgrown us.

286. BROOKLYN
That’s not fair. I can’t tell you how much I missed you both.

287. LEXINGTON
We get that. And we’re not mad. But…

288. BROOKLYN
Look, this isn’t all on me. As I recall, things were already changing. Broadway spent all his time with Angela.

289. BROADWAY
Not all my time.

290. LEXINGTON
Uh… pretty much.

291. BROADWAY
Yeah, well, you’re practically on the internet non-stop.

292. LEXINGTON
It’s addictive! Do you know they have porn on that thing? There’s this one website, Blue Mug Prodâ€"

293. BROOKLYN
I don’t wanna know. The point is we’ve all gone through some changes. That’s just life.

294. BROADWAY
I guess our Three Musketeer days are over…

295. LEXINGTON
Yeah…

Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

296. ZAFIRO
Gargoyles of Manhattan!

297. OBSIDIANA
We need you’re help!

298. NARRATOR
At just that moment, the sun rises, turning Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Angela and Gnash to stone. Obsidiana and Zafiro are unaffected, thanks to their mystic Mayan pendants.

299. ZAFIRO
Mierda.

300. OBSIDIANA
Nuestro cronometraje apesta hoy.

Obsidiana, Zafiro, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Angela sit. Spider-Man, Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

301. NARRATOR
Across town, Goliath also turns to stone.

302. SPIDER-MAN
What the heck?!

303. GREEN GOBLIN
Well, that was… unexpected.

304. SPIDER-MAN
All right, that’s enough. I know you’re not the real Gobby.

305. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes, yes, “It’s not the voice; it’s the words. Not the tech, but the moves.” I’ve heard it all before…

306. SPIDER-MAN
Then I know exactly who you really are: Chameleon!

307. GREEN GOBLIN
That would ease your conscience, wouldn’t it? To think I’m Chameleon â€" and not the ghost of the man you killed!

308. SPIDER-MAN
I don’t believe in ghosts.

309. GREEN GOBLIN
Then maybe you’d prefer I was the Spawn of Goblin.

310. SPIDER-MAN
Oh, you’d just love to shift the blame to Harry. Sorry, Gobby â€" I mean, Chammy â€" but we’ve been there, done that. Besides, no matter who you are, there hasn’t been time for the Globulin Green to kick in and truly Goblify you. So I’m gonna take you down now while you’re still just a cheap imitation.

311. GREEN GOBLIN
You could do that… or you could save stoneface over there.

312. NARRATOR
Gobby throws a pumpkin bomb at Goliath. Instinctively, Spidey webs it away…

313. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

Pumpkin Bomb and Green Goblin sit.

314. NARRATOR
By which time, the Goblin is gone, leaving a confused Spidey perched on Goliath’s head…

315. SPIDER-MAN
So in hindsight, I’m thinking maybe you weren’t part of the Gob-Squad, right?
(beat)
Fine. Stonewall me.

May STANDS.

316. NARRATOR
That morning in Forest Hills, Spidey sneaks in through his bedroom window, hoping to catch a few Zs.

317. MAY
Peter, are you awake.

318. PETER
Uh, sure Aunt May. Just getting dressed.

319. MAY
Well, hurry up. I’m… “conferencing” with all the other parents.

Robbie, ROSIE THOMPSON and George STAND.

320. ROBBIE
Are you sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Parker? Cuz I gotta say, what you’re proposing would be my worst nightmare.

321. MAY
<laughs> Oh, I don’t believe that for a minute, Mr. Robertson. It’s a joy to be around Peter and his friends. And I won’t be alone. Anna Watson and Mrs. Osborn will be with me.

322. ROSIE
Emily? She’s so… odd. I don’t think she’s ever said one word to me…

323. MAY
Well, I don’t know her very well, Rosie, but Harry is Peter’s best friend â€" no offense to your Eugene â€" so she must be doing something right.

324. ROSIE
May, you never change. Always seeing the best in people.

325. MAY
I’ll take that as a compliment, dear girl.

326. GEORGE
In any case, I’m glad to get Gwen out of Manhattan for a few days. The streets are looking pretty grim right about now.

327. MAY
Oh, I’m sure your officers will have things under control in no time.

328. PETER
Aunt May, what’s going on?

329. MAY
Oh, didn’t I tell you, Peter. I’m chaperoning your trip to Miami Beach!

330. PETER
Wow. Great.

Peter, May, George, Rosie and Robbie sit. Big Man and Dominique STAND.

331. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, back at L. Thompson Lincoln’s office…

332. BIG MAN
And how can I be of help, Ms. Destine.

333. DOMINIQUE
I think I can help you, Mr. Lincoln.

334. BIG MAN
What makes you think I need any help?

335. DOMINIQUE
Oh, little things. The shattered window, that unusual statue on the ledge outside…

336. BIG MAN
Point taken. How about you cut to the chase?

337. DOMINIQUE
Fine. Tony Dracon. Tomas Brod. Silvio Manfredi. All in jail. Hammerhead. Sable Manfredi. On the run. This gives you a unique opportunity to reclaim what was lost.

338. BIG MAN
I’m sure L. Thompson Lincoln has no idea what you’re talking about. But go on…

339. DOMINIQUE
You have three problems. Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and the government watching your every move.

340. BIG MAN
And you have the solution…

341. DOMINIQUE
I have the manpower. Three… “super-villains” to take down the competition and Dominic Dracon to use as a figurehead.

342. BIG MAN
The old man? I heard he was shy a few brain cells.

343. DOMINIQUE
It’s easy enough to spread the word he was faking insanity to avoid prosecution. And easy enough to assign him a keeper. Meanwhile, he’s a Dracon. And that name still carries weight, I believe.

344. BIG MAN
It does. But what would you want in exchange?

345. DOMINIQUE
Nothing extraordinary. Just the services of the Tinkerer.

346. BIG MAN
I believe that can be arranged.

347. DOMINIQUE
Lovely. But let’s not allow the moss to gather. You’ll want to move fast. Before the Octopus retrieves his arms…

Dominique and Big Man sit. SILVER SPOON MANAGER, Vulture, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and Electro STAND.

348. NARRATOR
The weather has turned cold. At the Silver Spoon, three men in trench coats and hats wait for their coffee.

349. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Sixty-nine!

350. VULTURE
Yes. Here.

351. NARRATOR
Vulture sits down with Electro and Doctor Octopus.

352. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Thank you, Adrian. Now. My arms?

353. VULTURE
In an OsCorp vault.

354. ELECTRO
At Rykers?!

355. VULTURE
<shhhhh> Not THE Vault. A vault. Still very high security, and the police are bound to expect our arrival, but…

356. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed. <sigh> OsCorp. Even in death, Norman Osborn torments me. But it cannot be helped. I must have my arms. We go in under cover of darkness tonight.

Doctor Octopus, Vulture and Electro sit. Silver Spoon Manager remains standing. Peter and Mary Jane STAND.

357. NARRATOR
The three men exit through one door. Two teenagers enter through another.

358. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy!

359. MARY JANE
Try to understand, Tiger. I just can’t do that to Gwen. She’s really become my best friend at Midtown.

360. PETER
But it’s not like we’d be making out or anything, right? Uh, right?

361. MARY JANE
Right.

362. PETER
Right, right. We’d be going as friends. Hanging out when the couples were … you know, coupling.

363. MARY JANE
And that would be great. But look at it from her point of view. She took all the risks, and you still wound up with Liz. There’s no way, she’d see me as anything but a threat. Wait, that sounded really conceited.

364. PETER
Have you looked in a mirror? Not conceited. Just fact.

365. MARY JANE
Ooh, nice one. Such a player.

366. PETER
Yeah, right. The world’s loneliest player.

367. MARY JANE
Stop it. I know you don’t want to hurt Gwen either. Not after all the two of you have been through.

368. PETER
Yeah… I wonder if Ms. Brant likes Miami. Kidding, kidding… Wow, pretty good. That was practically the Look.

369. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-One!

SEYMOUR O’REILLY stands.

370. PETER
So you’re just not going?

371. MARY JANE
Oh, I’m going. It’s 48 degrees outside and 82 in Miami. I asked Tiny to be my plus one.

372. PETER
Tiny?! Tiny McKeever?! The guy’s got the brain of an amoeba. He makes King Kong look like a genius. Hell, he makes Flash look like Stephen Hawking!

373. MARY JANE
(shrugs)
He’s cute.

374. PETER
<argggh> I just wish I could skip the whole thing. But Aunt May’s going, and after her heart attack, I really think she could use some fun in the sun--

375. SEYMOUR
Sorry to interrupt. Couldn’t help overhearing.

376. PETER
Oh, hey, Seymour.

377. SEYMOUR
Just wanted to let you know Harry invited me too. And I’m totally going stag. I mean who wants a ball and chain when Miami Beach is full of hotties, right?

378. PETER
Uh…

379. SEYMOUR
Just don’t expect to hang out, okay. You’d fully cramp my style.

380. PETER
Of course I would…

381. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-two!!

Silver Spoon Manager, Peter, Seymour and Mary Jane sit. Dominique and TINKERER STAND.

382. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, the Tinkerer arrives at the Destine Mansion…

383. DOMINIQUE
You have the devices?

384. TINKERER
Five was all I could put together on short notice. Unless you want to bring Mysterio in…?

385. DOMINIQUE
Our stage is crowded enough. And five should do quite nicely.

Dominique and Tinkerer sit. May, Mary Jane, GREG BISHANSKY, Sally, Gwen, Harry, Kong, Rand, Flash, Liz, Jason, Peter and Seymour STAND.

386. NARRATOR
Later that afternoon, Harry’s rented a party bus, and the gang is en route to the airport, stuck in heavy traffic on the expressway. A very prepared May Parker has a clipboard…

387. MAY
All right, we have three adults and sixteen children â€" sorry, sixteen teenagers. That’s nineteen sojourners bound for Florida. So why did my headcount come to twenty?

388. MARY JANE
I think you counted the bus driver, Mrs. Parker.

389. MAY
Oh, that I did.

390. BISHANSKY
Hey, twist my arm! I’ll go to Miami with you guys!!

391. SALLY
Was anyone talking to you?

392. BISHANSKY
Uh… no.

393. SALLY
Then eyes front.

394. BISHANSKY
Eyes front.

395. GWEN
Harry, are you all right?

396. HARRY
I dunno. All this stopping and starting. My stomach’s a little queasy…

397. KONG
Dude. Does this bus rock or what?!

398. RAND
‘Scool.

399. FLASH
Damn right it’s cool. Wouldn’t mind taking this baby all the way to Florida.

400. SALLY
Excuse me?! It’s a bus.

401. LIZ
Sally’s right. We’re not ditching the private jet for a bus. Right, Jason?

402. JASON
Uh…

403. SALLY
Right.

404. PETER
It really is a very nice bus though.

405. BISHANSKY
Hey, I’m not offended. I still can’t believe the Osborns hired me again. The last time, I got in two-- <impact grunt>

406. SEYMOUR
Dude, you totally rear-ended that guy at the tollbooth!

407. BISHANSKY
Not again…

408. SALLY
Wonderful. Now, we’ll be stuck here forever!

409. MAY
Everybody stay calm.

410. HARRY
Ah, man, gotta use the john…

411. KONG
<laughs> I think Osborn’s gonna hurl!

412. SALLY
Oh. My. God! If my hair starts smelling like vomit, I’ll sue you for bus-driver malpractice!!

413. BISHANSKY
Sorry, sorry…

Bishansky, Sally, Kong, Harry, May, Seymour, Peter, Jason, Liz, Flash, Rand, Gwen and Mary Jane sit. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

414. NARRATOR
The sun sets. At the castle, the gargoyles awaken…

415. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON
<awakening roars>

416. BROOKLYN
You must be Zafiro.

417. ZAFIRO
How did you know?

418. BROOKLYN
Strong family resemblance.

419. ZAFIRO
¿Perdón?

420. BROOKLYN
Long story. Time travel. The future. A whole other spin-off. Two actually…

421. OBSIDIANA
We don’t have time for your “spin-offs”. ¿Donde esta Goliath?

422. BROADWAY
He didn’t sleep here.

423. LEXINGTON
But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

Elisa STANDS.

424. ELISA
He’d better. We have trouble. Demona trouble.

425. OBSIDIANA
Elisa!

426. ELISA
Hi, Obsidiana. I’m betting you have trouble too…

Elisa, Obsidiana, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Zafiro sit. Kraven, Calypso, Curt and Gulyadkin STAND.

427. NARRATOR
And while the clan awaits Goliath’s return…

428. KRAVEN
It is time, Calypso.

429. CALYPSO
Yes. The forces gather. We can make this one our own.

430. CURT
I demand you let me go!

431. KRAVEN
Hold your tongue, American dog. Or Gulyadkin will hold it for you.

432. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

433. CALYPSO
Calm yourself… This change will not be difficult. The primitive bound within is barely skin-deep…

434. CURT
I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.

435. CALYPSO
I think you do. You see my companion. The details may have been created in a laboratory…

436. KRAVEN
But the soul of the Hunter â€" the beast inside â€" was always my own.

437. CURT
What are doing with that doll?

438. CALYPSO
Turning it inside out.

439. CURT
Listen to me, please. Even if you can release the “beast inside”, you don’t want to! It can’t be controlled.

440. KRAVEN
<laughs> Nyet. Not by you perhaps. But my Calypso is not so easily trifled with.

441. CALYPSO
It is time…

442. CURT
Noooo!!!! <transformation scream>

443. NARRATOR
Curt Connors is transformed by Calypso’s magic into the Lizard.

444. LIZARD
<roar>

445. KRAVEN
Now… to the Hunt!

Kraven, LIZARD, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit. Obsidiana, Zafiro, Angela, Elisa, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn STAND.

446. NARRATOR
Back at the Castle, Goliath has returned, and the entire clan has gathered. Elisa’s revealed what she knows about Demona. Now, it’s Obsidiana’s turn…

447. OBSIDIANA
It came from somewhere further south. Two human smugglers carrying an object of great power through the Green…

448. ZAFIRO
My mate is sensitive to these things. We tracked them, but they boarded a jet airplane and were soon out of our reach.

449. OBSIDIANA
Pero still I could sense great forces gathering. I asked Jade and Turquesa to teach us the way to Avalon…

450. ZAFIRO
Gabriel says hello, by the way.

451. ANGELA
Oh, I miss him. How is he?

452. ELISA
Angela, honey, let’s stay on point. I take it Avalon sent you here.

453. OBSIDIANA
Yes. We nearly achieved the totem, but a ridiculous human dressed in red and blueâ€"

454. ELISA, GOLIATH (UNISON)
Spider-Man…

455. OBSIDIANA
He did spin webs like a spider. Though from his hands, not hisâ€"

456. ZAFIRO
Focus, mi amor.

457. OBSIDIANA
Lo siento. This Man-Spider, he interfered. The smugglers escaped again. Now, power builds on power, rising to a crescendo.

458. BROADWAY
And that’s bad, right?

459. NARRATOR
Elisa’s cellphone rings.

Matt STANDS.

460. ELISA
Maza.

461. MATT
It’s Matt. Something’s going down at the OsCorp vault off the Expressway. Most of the Taskforce is already here. Stacy and his men too. But I’m thinking we might need… “back-up”. Lots and lots of back-up.

462. ELISA
We’re on our way. Brooklyn, can Bronx and Fu-Dog baby-sit Egwardo?

463. BROOKLYN
Of course.

464. ELISA
Good. Because otherwise it’s all hands on deck.

Elisa, Brooklyn, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath and Angela sit. George, Morgan and O’Neil STAND.

465. MATT
Okay, Captain. The rest of the Taskforce is on its way.

466. GEORGE
My men are deployed.

467. O’NEIL
And just in time! Cuz we got Gobby and his Pumpkin-Heads at 12 o’clock!

Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

468. GREEN GOBLIN
Playtime!

469. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

470. MORGAN
And a gargoyle at 3 o’clock!

471. GEORGE
That’s not a gargoyle. That’s the Vulture!

Vulture STANDS.

472. VULTURE
You were right, Otto. The police were waiting. And the Goblin is here too. You don’t think it could actually be Osborn, still alive, do you?

Doctor Octopus and Electro STAND.

473. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Do not get distracted by old grudges, Adrian. It hardly matters who wears the Green. His intent is still to prevent me from regaining my arms. You must keep the Goblin and the authorities occupied.

474. VULTURE
Of course.

475. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Now, Electro. Open the vault.

476. ELECTRO
Roger that, Doc!

477. NARRATOR
Electro, already inside, short-circuits the vault’s electro-magnetic lock.

Tinkerer and Demona STAND.

478. TINKERER
Electro’s breached the vault.

479. DEMONA
So predictable. Send in your operatives.

480. NARRATOR
Tinkerer opens a burlap sack, releasing his five “operatives”.

HOMUNCULUS #1, HOMUNCULUS #2, HOMUNCULUS #3, HOMUNCULUS #4 and HOMUNCULUS #5 STAND.

481. HOMUNCULUS #1
Homunculi to the rescue!

482. HOMUNCULUS #2
Dirty work to be done!

483. HOMUNCULUS #3
Peach Cobbler!

484. HOMUNCULUS #4
Uh oh, somebody’s language system’s off-line again.

485. HOMUNCULUS #5
You know it, girlfriend!

Calypso, Kraven and Lizard STAND.

486. NARRATOR
And down in the sewer…

487. CALYPSO
It is right above us, my love. The Power and the Glory. The very keys to the Kingdom.

488. KRAVEN
And Kraven will lay them all at your feet.

489. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

490. NARRATOR
Up top, a stretch limo skids to a stop outside the vault. Dominic Dracon and Fancy Dan emerge.

Dracon and FANCY DAN STAND.

491. DRACON
All right, boys. Get me those jewels!

492. FANCY DAN
I think what the boss means is… Destroy the competition!

Carnage, Colonel Jupiter and Venom STAND.

493. CARNAGE
<evil chuckle> Carnage time?

494. FANCY DAN
Yeah. Go. Kill. Whatever.

495. COLONEL JUPITER
Colonel Jupiter will stop the Green Goblin and Vulture in their tracks!

496. FANCY DAN
Knock yourself out. But what are you waiting for?

497. VENOM
Someone worthy of our hate. But we have faith… He’ll come…

498. GREEN GOBLIN
My, my, the field’s getting crowded. Let’s thin the herd. Pumpkin-Heads, release the hounds! <ahem> That was a metaphor. Throw your pumpkin bombs already!

499. PUMPKIN BOMB
<multiple shrieks>

Pumpkin Bomb, Green Goblin, Venom, Fancy Dan, Colonel Jupiter, Carnage, Dracon, Lizard, Kraven, Calypso, Homunculus #5, Homunculus #4, Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Demona, Tinkerer, Electro, Doctor Octopus, Vulture, George, Morgan, O’Neil and Matt SIT. May, Peter, Bishansky, Flash, Kong, Sally, Mary Jane, Gwen and Harry STAND.

500. MAY
Goodness, what was that?

501. PETER
Something The Bugle will want pictures of. Open the door.

502. BISHANSKY
Uh…

503. MAY
Peter Parker, I am not letting you off this bus in the middle of the expressway.

504. PETER
Aunt May we’re at a complete standstill. And you don’t have to worry. I’ll use my telephoto lens. I won’t be anywhere near the action.

505. MAY
I suppose it is your job… Open the door.

506. BISHANSKY
Yes, ma’am.

507. PETER
Thanks, Aunt May. You rock!

508. FLASH
If Puny Parker’s going, I’m going too!

509. MAY
Eugene Thompson, you sit your backside down in that seat right this minute.

510. FLASH
Yes, ma’am.

511. KONG
<laughs>

512. SALLY
What’s he going to take pictures with? I saw his camera get blown up two months ago.

513. MARY JANE
Pete’s a professional photographer, Sally. I’m sure he has more than one camera.

514. GWEN
Harry… Are you all right in there?

515. HARRY
<vomit noise> Ugh, don’t come in. It really isn’t pretty.

Harry, Gwen, Mary Jane, Sally, Kong, Flash, May, Peter and Bishansky sit. Broadway, Goliath, Brooklyn, Angela, Elisa, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

516. NARRATOR
The clan alights on a rise overlooking the battlefield.

517. BROADWAY
Whoa, what a mess…

518. GOLIATH
We will split our forces. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro with me.

519. BROOKLYN
Shouldn’t I lead the other contingent?

520. GOLIATH
I need your experience and your weapons at my side.

521. ANGELA
Don’t worry, Brooklyn, we’ve got it covered.

522. NARRATOR
Angela, Hudson, Katana, Gnash, Coldstone and Coldfire glide toward the battle.

523. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY (UNISON)
Be careful!

Angela sits.

524. ELISA
You know I’m going with you.

525. GOLIATH
Not this time, Elisa. You must join your fellow officers…

526. ELISA
Butâ€"

527. GOLIATH
When all is settled, we shall need your help to cover our retreat from this conflagration… You know this is true.

528. ELISA
(defeated)
Yes.

Elisa sits. Spider-Man STANDS.

529. NARRATOR
Elisa makes her way down the hill. Goliath and the others glide to the Vault’s roof. Spider-Man lands there at the same time.

530. SPIDER-MAN, ZAFIRO (UNISON)
You again!

531. GOLIATH
Hold, Spider-Man. I have a friend who knows your Captain Stacy.

532. SPIDER-MAN
Really?

533. GOLIATH
This policeman believes in you. So I choose to believe in you as well.

534. SPIDER-MAN
Says the eight-foot tall medieval monster. But I get it. We’re on the same side. So let’s go kick some Pumpkin-Butt!

535. ZAFIRO
¡Idiota! That battle is a mere distraction.

536. OBSIDIANA
The true danger lies within…

537. SPIDER-MAN
All right, all right, you had me at “Idiota”.

538. NARRATOR
The gargoyles rip open the rooftop. The seven heroes descend, but someone watches…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn sit. Venom and Fancy Dan STAND.

539. VENOM
And there goes our Bro…

540. FANCY DAN
You going in? That wasn’t the plan!

541. VENOM
And how do intend to stop us?

542. FANCY DAN
Fine, go. But if you see my Ricochet suit, bring it out!

Fancy Dan and Venom sit. Foswell, Jonah and Robbie STAND.

543. FOSWELL
See, J.J. The tip from Dracon’s old chauffer was right on the money.

544. JONAH
Whaddaya want, a fershlugginer medal?! Let’s get in there!

545. ROBBIE
Slow down, Jonah. I promised Joan I wouldn’t let you lose your head, figuratively or literally.

546. JONAH
Forget my head! Who cares about my head?! My boy needs me!

Ned and Colonel Jupiter STAND.

547. NED
Looks to me like your boy’s doing pretty well, Chief!

548. COLONEL JUPITER
Take that, miscreants!

549. ROBBIE
Ned, how did youâ€"

550. NED
Tip from one of the pumpkin-heads. Foswell’s not the only one with sources.

551. JONAH
You two can naked mud-wrestle over who’s the biggest brown-noser later. For now, Robbie, if you don’t let go of me in zero-point-zero seconds, I’ll dropkick you to next Season! And there’s no guarantee there’ll be a next Season!

552. NARRATOR
Jonah breaks away from Robbie, but his path is blocked…

Elisa STANDS.

553. ELISA
Get back! You want to wind up street pizza!

554. JONAH
But that’s my son up there.

555. ELISA
Yeah, well, at least he’s fighting on the right side.

556. COLONEL JUPITER
Nothing stands against the might of Colonel Jupiter!

557. ELISA
Does he always talk like that?

558. ROBBIE
Bombasticism runs in the family.

Robbie, Elisa, Colonel Jupiter, Jonah, Ned and Foswell sit. Vulture, Carnage, Green Goblin, Angela, Fancy Dan, Matt and Dracon STAND.

559. NARRATOR
Jupiter takes down Pumpkin-Heads right and left. Hudson squares off against Vulture.

560. VULTURE
Why do I get the old guy?

561. NARRATOR
You’re old. He’s old. It’s parallelism. Get over it.
(beat)
Coldstone and Coldfire isolate Carnage.

562. CARNAGE
No fair! These two don’t spatter at all!

563. NARRATOR
Angela and Katana take on the Goblin.

564. GREEN GOBLIN
Oh, goody. Gobby likes getting down and dirty with the hotties.

565. ANGELA
Oh, you did not just say that.

566. NARRATOR
And little Gnash goes after Fancy Dan.

567. FANCY DAN
Admit it, you gave me the kid because I’m short?

568. NARRATOR
Even Detective Bluestone gets into the act.

569. MATT
Freeze, Dracon!

570. DRACON
You’re confused. I’m G.F. Benton, a certified public accountant. I think I’ll be going now…

571. MATT
Yeah. Back to Ravencroft, you old nutter!

572. NARRATOR
But inside, things are a bit more serious…

Matt, Dracon, Fancy Dan, Angela, Green Goblin, Carnage and Vulture sit. Electro and Doctor Octopus STAND.

573. ELECTRO
Got your arms, Doc!

574. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
And my Megalo-Pack?

575. ELECTRO
You’re Mega-what now?

576. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
My power-source, Maxwell.

577. ELECTRO
Right, right. No. That’s not here.

578. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
What?!

Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #3 STAND.

579. HOMUNCULUS #1
Gotta get the true treasure!

580. HOMUNCULUS #2
Bring it back to the big Smurfette!

581. HOMUNCULUS #3
Blunk hates getting wet!

582. NARRATOR
Three Homunculi fly deeper into the vault to retrieve Demona’s prize.

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Zafiro, Spider-Man, Lexington, Homunculus #5, Goliath, Brooklyn, Broadway and Obsidiana STAND.

583. ZAFIRO
What are those things?!

584. SPIDER-MAN, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
Robots!

585. LEXINGTON
And I got one!

586. HOMUNCULUS #5
Leggo, you big bully!

587. LEXINGTON
<ugh> What an annoying voice…

588. HOMUNCULUS #5
(aside to audience)
Look who’s talking.

589. LEXINGTON
…But I might be able to use it to take control of the others.

590. SPIDER-MAN
I think I can help.

Venom STANDS.

591. VENOM
You’ll be a little too busy for that, Bro.

592. GOLIATH
Friend of yours?

593. SPIDER-MAN
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

594. VENOM
Die, Spider-Man!

595. VENOM, SPIDER-MAN
<add-lib battle sounds>

596. SPIDER-MAN
A little help?

597. NARRATOR
Brooklyn blasts Venom, who collapses.

598. VENOM
<vibrating scream>

Venom sits.

599. BROOKLYN
Sonic Cannon. Circa 2198. Guess my weapons do come in handy.

600. LEXINGTON
Just cover me until I can get this working…

Demona and Tinkerer STAND.

601. DEMONA
What’s wrong, Tinkerer? Why haven’t they returned?

602. TINKERER
Someone’s trying to counter their programming. He won’t succeed.

603. DEMONA
He had better not.

604. LEXINGTON
My hack’s being hacked!

605. TINKERER
He’s overriding my override!

Homunculus #4 STANDS.

606. HOMUNCULUS #4
Go right. Go left. Go right. Go left. Blow up!

607. NARRATOR
Homunculus #4 blows up. But so does Homunculus #5 in Lexington’s hands!

608. LEXINGTON
<pain cry>

609. BROADWAY
Lexington!

Homunculus #4 and Homunculus #5 sit.

610. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
This is madness! Grab my arms and get me out of here!

611. ELECTRO
Workin’ on it!

612. NARRATOR
Electro blasts away, until he and Doc Ock are blindsided by…

Kraven, Gulyadkin, Lizard and Calypso STAND.

613. ELECTRO, DOCTOR OCTOPUS
<impacts>

614. BROADWAY
Look, it’s Claw.

615. KRAVEN
<roar>

616. BROOKLYN
That’s not Claw.

617. BROADWAY
Well, it’s sure not Maggie.

618. GULYADKIN
<lion roar>

619. LEXINGTON
(recovering)
Is that an actual lion?

620. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

621. SPIDER-MAN
Lizard, too? Seriously, this is way over the top.
Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

622. HOMUNCULUS #1
Got the gizmo!

623. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi never fail!

624. NARRATOR
Two homunculi fly past, carrying a sealed container down a dark corridor.

625. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA (UNISON)
The totem!
(pointing at each other)
Don’t let her near it!

626. KRAVEN
Go, Calypso! Leave them to us!

627. ZAFIRO
¡Vaya, mi amor!

628. BROOKLYN
We got your back, Goliath! Go!

629. SPIDER-MAN
Think I’ll tag along too…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Calypso, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Goliath, Tinkerer and Demona sit.

630. NARRATOR
Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spider-Man race down the corridor.

631. KRAVEN
Lizard, take the reptile!

632. ZAFIRO
¡No soy ningún reptil! ¡Soy un Gárgolo!

633. ZAFIRO, LIZARD
<ad-lib battle sounds>

634. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin attack!

635. GULYADKIN
<pounce roar>

636. NARRATOR
Gulyadkin and Kraven attack Lex and Broadway!

637. LEXINGTON
Hey, get him off me!

638. BROADWAY
Kinda busy at the moment!

639. GULYADKIN, LEXINGTON, KRAVEN, BROADWAY
<ad-lib struggles>

640. NARRATOR
Brooklyn steps in and pulls both cats off his rookery brothers. They turn on him.

641. BROOKLYN
Uh oh.

642. BROADWAY, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
All for one!

643. NARRATOR
The two gargoyles return the favor, knocking Kraven and Gulyadkin aside. Then Brooklyn blasts them both.

644. BROOKLYN
And one for all!

645. KRAVEN, GULYADKIN
<blast impacts>

646. LEXINGTON
Some things never change.

647. NARRATOR
Zafiro throws Lizard’s unconscious body on top of Kraven…

648. KRAVEN, LIZARD
<oofs>

649. ZAFIRO
We should follow Obsidiana…

650. ZAFIRO, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
<electrocution scream>

651. NARRATOR
The four gargoyles are dropped by Electro’s blast.

652. ELECTRO
Still want out?

653. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed not. My curiosity is piqued. Let’s see where this leads…

Doctor Octopus, Electro, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Zafiro, Gulyadkin, Kraven and Lizard sit. Demona, Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

654. NARRATOR
Electro and Octopus head down the corridor… In a dimly lit room, Demona holds the Spear of Destiny and watches as the two homunculi open the container. Inside… is a crown of thorns.

655. DEMONA
The Crown of Thorns!

656. NARRATOR
Demona removes her tiara.

657. DEMONA
Place it on my head…

658. HOMUNCULUS #1
Placing, placing…

659. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi aim to please!

660. NARRATOR
The Homunculi gently lower the crown onto Demona’s head before disappearing back into the darkness. The thorns bite into her brow, drawing blood. Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spidey come rushing in.

Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Spider-Man, Goliath, Calypso and Obsidiana STAND.

661. DEMONA
My Kingdom come. My Will be done…

662. SPIDER-MAN
Friend of yours?

663. GOLIATH
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

664. DEMONA
On Earth as it is in Heaven…

665. CALYPSO
Too late…

666. OBSIDIANA
Too late…

667. DEMONA
For MINE is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever and ever…

668. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA, SPIDER-MAN (UNISON)
Amen…

669. NARRATOR
Light radiates outward from the Spear. Goliath watches in confusion as Calypso, Obsidiana and Spider-Man drop to their knees before Demona. Octopus and Electro enter and likewise fall to their knees. The light reaches the outer vault. Though still unconscious, Venom, Lizard, Zafiro and Kraven lurch to their feet, then drop to their knees. And still the light advances…

Obsidiana and Calypso sit.

670. GOLIATH
What sorcery is this?!

671. DEMONA
The most powerful human sorcery ever created, Goliath. This is humanity’s Armageddon. Their entire race’s final act.

END ACT TWO

NEXT: ACT THREE...

G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act One

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS. Act One. Late that night atop the Eyrie Building…

Dominique and Kafka sit. GOLIATH and ELISA MAZA STAND and KISS.

5. GOLIATH, ELISA
<kiss>

6. GOLIATH
There are some human customs I will never get used to Elisa. <kisses her again> This is not one of them.

7. ELISA
You’re in a good mood.

8. GOLIATH
I am. Hudson and Lexington are back from Europe, bringing Coldstone and Coldfire with them.

9. ELISA
<chuckle> Not to mention Brooklyn returning from forty years of TimeDancing with a mate, a son, a beast and an egg.

10. GOLIATH
The clan has doubled in size. What challenge can the Fates throw at us now that we cannotâ€"

11. NARRATOR
The sun rises. Goliath turns to stone.

12. ELISA
<groan> You just had to say that out loud, didn’t you?

Elisa and Goliath sit. MAY PARKER and PETER PARKER STAND.

13. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, in Forest Hills…

14. MAY
Peter, what are you doing up?

15. PETER
Studying for today’s English final. It’s on Midsummer Night’s Dream. And I missed seeing the Cliff Notes version.

16. MAY
Which may explain why you and Miss Allan are no longer a couple.

17. PETER
Aunt May, you know we didn’t break up because I missed her play.

18. MAY
You’re right; I shouldn’t be glib. I suppose there’s no chance that you and Gwen…

19. PETER
I don’t know. Not now anyway. Not when Harry’s hurting so much from the death of his father.

20. MAY
It hardly seems possible that Norman Osborn is gone. The Bugle says he was the Green Goblin, but I’m not sure I can believe that.

21. PETER
Sometimes, Aunt May… it’s, okay, to believe everything you read…

May and Peter sit. GREEN GOBLIN and BLACKIE GAXTON STAND.

22. NARRATOR
At a dive bar downtown, the Green Goblin BURSTS in on his glider…

23. GREEN GOBLIN
<tsk, tsk, tsk> Blackie. This place is scummy even by your pond-scum standards. Quite a comedown from your last gig…

24. BLACKIE
Tell that to the whacko who set a flaming super-villain loose in The Big Sky. Oh, wait. That was you.

25. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes. Yes, it was. <maniacal laugh>

26. BLACKIE
Weren’t you supposed to be dead?

27. GREEN GOBLIN
I was also supposed to be Osborn, but you didn’t buy that, did you? Just one of the many little tricks I keep up my sleeve. Nothing’s changed, Blackie. The Goblin’s still in charge.

28. BLACKIE
You hear me arguing?

29. GREEN GOBLIN
No. Now, gather my Pumpkin-Heads…

Blackie and Goblin sit. Kafka and Dominique STAND.

30. NARRATOR
At Ravencroft, Dominique Destine and Dr. Kafka supervises six inmates who work to excavate a sub-basement.

31. KAFKA
I still don’t understand what you expect to find down here.

32. DOMINIQUE
Vertros Ravencroft, the founder of this Institute, was a quirky soul. An intimate friend of Freud and Conan Doyle, he was a true believer in both psychotherapy and spiritualism.

33. KAFKA
You speak as if you knew him.

34. DOMINIQUE
Now how would that be possible?

35. KAFKA
It couldn’t, of course… But the dig?

36. DOMINIQUE
Yes. Ravencroft was also a collector. I have reason to believe he buried certain items of his collection here. Now, Doctor, didn’t you say you had meetings scheduled…

37. KAFKA
You’ll be all right down here alone?

38. DOMINIQUE
Your orderlies are in the hallway. And I’m quite self-sufficient. So run along.

Kafka sits. OTTO OCTAVIUS STANDS.

39. DOMINIQUE
Excellent work, Doctor Octavius. Very precise.

40. OTTO
Thank you. I appreciate having something to occupy my hands…

41. DOMINIQUE
Your hands? Not… your arms?

42. OTTO
Arms? I… I hope you’re not referring to my unfortunate… b-b-breakdown.

43. DOMINIQUE
What would be the point? Believe me, Doctor, no one better understands the advantage of creating a false front.

ELECTRO STANDS.

44. ELECTRO
I’ve blasted away another section of cement.

45. DOMINIQUE
Thank you, Maxwell.

46. ELECTRO
Don’t. Call. Me. That.

47. DOMINIQUE
Don’t. Tell. Me. What to do… Electro.

48. ELECTRO
Uh… okay.
(asides to Otto)
She’s a little scary.

49. OTTO
Indeed.

Otto and Electro sit. DOMINIC DRACON, JOHN JAMESON, EDDIE BROCK and CLETUS KASSADY STAND.

50. DRACON
I blame Mace. When that crook cheated me, I lost face. But when I get the jewels back, they’ll respect me again. Did Mace bury the jewels here?

51. DOMINIQUE
Maybe he did, Dominic. Keep working.

52. JOHN
What’s the point? How is tearing up a basement supposed to bring me Colonel Jupiter’s power?!

53. EDDIE
Shut up and dig.

54. JOHN
You like doing this?!

55. EDDIE
I hate it. But I need that hate. I need to keep the hate alive.

56. DOMINIQUE
Such an interesting crew. And what do you want out of life, Cletus…

57. CLETUS
Nothing too fancy. <chuckles> Just a little carnage.

Cletus, Dominique, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. GWEN STACY and Peter STAND.

58. NARRATOR
That afternoon, at Midtown High…

59. GWEN
Hey, Pete. How’d you do?

60. PETER
Ugh, horrible, probably. I mean you know English is like my worst subject. It’s all so subjective andâ€"

61. GWEN
Peter.

62. PETER
Okay, okay… not the look! I probably aced it. Happy?

63. GWEN
That you did well. Always.

64. PETER
Thanks. Look, Gwen, I--

HARRY OSBORN STANDS.

65. HARRY
Well, what have we here? My best friend and girlfriend conferring in a corner. Planning a surprise party for me?

66. PETER
Uh, it’s not your birthday, Harr.

67. HARRY
I thought maybe it was a thank you bash. For giving you both these…

68. GWEN
(reading)
“You are cordially invited to spend Spring Break traveling by private jet to Miami, where you’ll stay, all-expenses-paid, at the Osborn Winter Compound on the Beach…"

69. PETER
You’re inviting the three of us to spend a week together in Florida?

70. HARRY
Not just the three of us…

KENNY KONG, FLASH THOMPSON and MARY JANE WATSON stand.

71. KONG
Osborn, dude! You rock!

72. FLASH
Seven days in the sun and surf.

73. KONG
All you can eat!

74. FLASH
Girls in bikinis!

75. FLASH, KONG (UNISON)
Score! <laughter>

76. MARY JANE
Hi, Sha Shan. Hi, Glory.

77. FLASH
Sha Shan… uh… So… how much of that did you hear?

78. KONG
Look, Glory, you know I meant you, right? I mean who else would I want to see in a bikini. Uh, you’re not gonna break up with me again, are you?

Kong and Flash sit. SALLY AVRIL, RAND ROBERTSON, LIZ ALLAN and JASON IONELLO STAND.

79. SALLY
Oh. My. God. Harry, I just found the invitation in my locker. And all I have to say is that you can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy anytime you want!

80. HARRY
You okay with that Rand?

81. RAND
‘Scool. You can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy too.

82. PETER
Exactly how many people did you invite to this thing?

83. HARRY
A handful. Kenny and Glory. Flash and Sha Shan. Rand and Sally. Hobie and Mindy. M.J. Gwen. Oh, and you and Liz, of course.

84. GWEN
Harry… Liz and Peter broke up.

85. HARRY
You did?! Wow. I had no idea. Guess I’ve just been so focused on my own problems. My Dad dying and everything. That’s why I need this trip. Gotta clear my head, you know? But maybe you two could reconcile…

86. SALLY
I don’t think so!

87. LIZ
It’s too late for that Harry. I’m with Jason now. We totally fell in love doing the play together.

88. JASON
We did?

89. SALLY / LIZ (UNISON)
Yes, you did. / Yes, we did.

90. LIZ
You don’t mind if I bring Jason instead of Petey, do you.

91. HARRY
The more the merrier.

92. LIZ
Thanks, Harry. You’re a doll. Kisses!

Liz, Sally, Jason and Rand sit.

93. HARRY
Pete, you’re still invited too. Course, it’s more of a couple’s thing. But M.J.’s guy is in prison…

94. MARY JANE
Thank you, Harry. Hadn’t been reminded of that in the last five minutes.

95. HARRY
Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I can’t help remembering the Fall Formal. You two made such a great pair! Don’t you think so, Gwen?

96. GWEN
Great.

97. PETER
I… suppose we could go… as friends. Just as friends.

98. MARY JANE
We’ll talk later, Tiger.

Mary Jane, Peter, Gwen and Harry sit. Kafka and CURT CONNORS STAND.

99. NARRATOR
Late that afternoon in Dr. Kafka’s office…

100. KAFKA
Doctor Connors, it’s good to see you. I’d heard you moved to Florida.

101. CURT
I did. But I never stopped working on a cure for Max Dillon. I think I’ve made some real progress.

102. KAFKA
That’s wonderful news. Max is downstairs… doing “work-therapy”. I’ll take you to him…

Kafka and Curt sit. Otto, Dominique, Electro, Dracon, John, Eddie and Cletus STAND.

103. ELECTRO
Ms. Destine. I think I found something.

104. DRACON
Is it my jewels?

105. OTTO
It… it appears to be a spearhead. It looks quite old.

106. DOMINIQUE
Give it to me.

107. ELECTRO
Sure, sure.

108. DOMINIQUE
Yes. This is it. I think we’re done, boys.

109. OTTO
Indeed. And just as the dig brought us right up against Ravencroft’s outer wall.

110. ELECTRO
You mean this wall?!

111. NARRATOR
Electro blasts a huge hole in the wall. When the smoke clears, the Vulture is waiting. He grabs Octavius.

VULTURE STANDS.

112. VULTURE
You’re coming with me, Otto.

113. OTTO
No, no, stop. I don’t want this life anymore… I’m trying to get better!! Let me go!!

114. ELECTRO
Shut it, Doc! It’s for your own good!

115. OTTO
Nooooooo!!!!

Otto, Electro and Vulture sit.

116. NARRATOR
Vulture and Electro leave with Octavius. Dominique watches them go.

117. DOMINIQUE
Well, that was diverting. And such excellent timing as well: it’s sunset. <transformation scream>

118. NARRATOR
With the setting of the sun, Dominique Destine transforms into a gargoyle… just as Kafka and Connors enter…

Kafka and Curt STAND.

119. KAFKA / CURT
Oh my god… / What in the world?!

120. NARRATOR
Demona effortlessly slams them both against a wall and turns to the remaining inmates…

121. CURT, KAFKA
<impacts, moans>

122. DEMONA
Listen carefully, humans. For I have listened to you. I can make all your petty little dreams come true. Dominic demands respect.

123. DRACON
Yes.

124. DEMONA
John craves power.

125. JOHN
Yes!

126. DEMONA
Eddie needs hate.

127. EDDIE
YES!

128. DEMONA
And all Cletus desires is a little carnage.

129. CLETUS
Or a lot. I’m not picky.

130. DEMONA
Then stick with me, boys. Respect, power, hatred, carnage. These are things I know…

DEMONA, Cletus, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. ALAN O’NEIL and GEORGE STACY STAND.

131. NARRATOR
Later, the police arrive to investigate…

132. O’NEIL
And you never met this broad before in your life…

133. KAFKA
She had excellent references, Officer O’Neil. It’s not like I grant just anyone access to my patients…

134. O’NEIL
And you wonder why people think they belong at Rykers.

135. GEORGE
There’s nothing else you can tell me, Doctor?

136. CURT
I’m sorry, Captain Stacy, but no. It was a creature.

137. GEORGE
Like that Lizard-thing from last fall?

138. CURT
No! No. Nothing like that. More like… like those things on the news that blew up the clock tower.

139. GEORGE
You mean the 23rd Precinct.

140. CURT
Yes.

141. GEORGE
You’re saying a gargoyle kidnapped those men.

142. CURT
Yes. No. I don’t know. Can I leave now?

George, O’Neil and Kafka sit. DILBERT TRILBY and NED LEE stand.

143. NARRATOR
But outside…

144. TRILBY
Doctor Connors! Dilbert Trilby, Action News. What can you tell our audience about the escape?

145. CURT
Nothing. No comment.

146. NED
Hey, Doc. Remember me? Ned Lee from The Bugle. Can you just tell me who escaped? Doc Ock? Electro? Colonel Jupiter â€" I mean, Colonel Jameson?

147. CURT
I’m sure the police will issue a statement. Now, I have to go.

Trilby sits. CALYPSO EZILI, KRAVEN THE HUNTER and GULYADKIN STAND.

148. NARRATOR
Connors hurries away down the street, as a limousine with dark-tinted windows pulls up in front of Ravencroft.

149. CALYPSO
We are too late, my love. The Christian Totem is gone.

150. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin and I will track it for you.

151. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

152. CALYPSO
I’m afraid that is beyond even your impressive abilities, Sergei, my love. But I have my own ways, as you well know…

153. KRAVEN
Of course, Calypso.

154. CALYPSO
Who is that? That man trying to hail a cab?

155. KRAVEN
He is a stranger to my eyes. Yet his scent is familiar.

156. CALYPSO
His aura glows with primal energies and may be of use to us.
(to Curt)
You need a ride.

157. CURT
What? No. No, thank you. I’ll get a cab.

158. KRAVEN
She wasn’t asking.

159. CURT
<scream>

160. NARRATOR
Kraven drags Connors into the limo, which quickly drives away…

Curt, Kraven, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit.

161. NED
Hello, Robbie? I’ve got something.

J. JONAH JAMESON, JOE “ROBBIE” ROBERTSON and FREDERICK FOSWELL STAND.

162. JONAH
Is that Lee? Put him on speaker.

163. ROBBIE
Now, Jonah, stay calm…

164. JONAH
Don’t you tell me to stay calm, Joe Robertson. It’s not your son at risk. Lee, you there?! I’ll give you exactly three-point-seven seconds to tell me John’s all right!

165. NED
Wish I could, Chief. But he disappeared with the rest. There are six inmaâ€" uh, patients missing. It’s not clear if they busted out or were kidnapped.

166. JONAH
Well, of course John was kidnapped. You think my son would--

167. ROBBIE
Ned, give me the whole list.

168. JONAH
Who cares about the listâ€"

169. ROBBIE
It could provide a lead to John.

170. NED
Doc Ock. Electro. John. Uh… let’s see. Edward Brock Jr., Cletus Kasady and Dominic Dracon.

171. FOSWELL
Dominic Dracon? The old mob boss? There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.

172. JONAH
Foswell, you know that world! Find out where Dracon might have gone!

173. FOSWELL
You got it, J.J.

174. JONAH
Lee, you stick to the damn super-villain angle! Ock, Electro. What’s their next move?!

175. NED
Right, boss!

176. JONAH
Robbie, I want every available man on this. No, damnit, I want every man, woman and child on this, available or not. Call Parker. Put Benny the copyboy on it. But Ms. Brant on it. I want John Jameson safely back in his mother’s arms in six-point… six-point…

177. ROBBIE
It’s okay, Jonah. We’re on it.

178. JONAH
Good. Good. I’ll… I’ll hit the streets myself. I’m still the best damn reporter in New York City! Just have to make a call first. Well, what are you all waiting for, get out! Out!

Robbie, Ned and Foswell sit.

179. JONAH (CONT)
Hello, is this WVRN? Travis Marshall, please. Travis? It’s Jonah. I got a lead for you on the Ravencroft thing.
(pauses, listening)
Whaddayou care why I’m helping the competition?! I know I hate television! You don’t have to tell me that! I’m not trying to sandbag you, damnit, I… I’m just trying to find my son… any way I can.

Jonah sits. SPIDER-MAN STANDS.

180. NARRATOR
That night finds Spider-Man swinging through the city…

181. PETER (VO)
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Harry was trying to torture me and Gwen. Then again, M.J. is quite the consolation prize. Ah, man, what am I saying? I’m in love with Gwen. Gwen. Gwendolyn Stacy. Just have to get through the next few weeks and then Harry’ll be in a better place, and she and I--

182. NARRATOR
Pete’s ringtone plays Itsy-Bitsy Spider.

183. SPIDER-MAN
Hello?

Robbie STANDS.

184. ROBBIE
Pete. Joe Robertson. There’s been an incident at Ravencroft.

Robbie sits.

185. SPIDER-MAN
Uh huh… uh huh… Wait, who’s missing? Uh oh. Him too? Oh, crap. Sorry, I mean-- What?! Seriously?! Uh, right. Yeah, I’ll keep my eyes open. Camera lens at the ready. Thanks for the heads up. Bye.
(to himself)
Whoa. At least this day can’t get any worse!

SMUGGLER #1 stands.

186. SMUGGLER #1
What the hell are those things?!

187. SPIDER-MAN
When am I gonna learn not to say that out loud?

188. NARRATOR
Spidey swings down to find two men in a van being attacked by two gargoyles, Obsidiana and Zafiro…

ZAFIRO and OBSIDIANA STAND.

189. SPIDER-MAN
Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but this lady-esque-blue-creature-thing matches the description of another lady-esque-blue-creature-thing who just busted some folks out of Ravenâ€"

190. ZAFIRO
What is he babbling about?

191. OBSIDIANA
I have no idea. I sense no connection between him and the source of the disturbance. But these two…

192. SMUGGLER #1
Keep her away from us!!

193. SPIDER-MAN
You see, now I’m on the horns of a dilemma… Uh, no offense. It’s just an expression; I wasn’t referring to your rather striking… Never mind. See in this particular Spider-Man’s experience, when genetic misfits attack ordinary human beings, I’m gonna have to side with the humans.

194. ZAFIRO
Qué sorpresa. A human with no knowledge of the situation leaping to defend one of his own.

195. NARRATOR
Zafiro attacks Spidey.

196. ZAFIRO, SPIDER-MAN
<ad lib battle efforts, impacts>

197. NARRATOR
Obsidiana rips open the top of the van.

198. OBSIDIANA
<rip effort>

199. SMUGGLER #1
Stay back!

200. NARRATOR
The two humans open fire on her, forcing her to leap away… The van peels out. Obsidiana tries to follow, but Spidey webs her wings together.

Smuggler #1 sits.

201. OBSIDIANA
Por favor! You don’t understand the powers that are gathering!!

202. SPIDER-MAN
And you’re the one doing the Gathering, I take it!

203. OBSIDIANA
No!

204. ZAFIRO
Enough!

205. SPIDER-MAN
<impact grunt>

206. NARRATOR
Zafiro slams Spidey into a wall. By the time the web-slinger recovers, the gargoyles are gone…

Zafiro and Obsidiana sit.

207. SPIDER-MAN
<groan> For a guy with no legs, that snake-thing can move…

Spider-Man sits. George and MARIA CHAVEZ STAND.

208. NARRATOR
Not far away…

209. GEORGE
Captain Chavez.

210. CHAVEZ
Captain Stacy. What brings you to what’s left of the 23rd?

211. GEORGE
It’s the Ravencroft thing. I’ve got corroborating witnesses telling me a gargoyle was involved.

212. CHAVEZ
<sigh> I miss the days when being a cop didn’t involve a working knowledge of The Twilight Zone.

213. GEORGE
Welcome to the Freak Show.

214. CHAVEZ
Anyway, as it happens, the Gargoyle Taskforce is meeting right now. First trailer on the right. Ask for Bluestone.

Chavez sits. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN MORGAN, MARGOT YALE and Elisa STAND.

215. NARRATOR
Minutes later…

216. GEORGE
And that’s all I know…

217. MATT
Well, that is interesting, or, you know… really, really scary.

218. MORGAN
I’ll say, Detective. With or without a gargoyle, I’ve heard Ock and Electro are bad news. And that Cletus Kasady: he killed five people before--

219. MARGOT
Forget Kasady. Any idiot can bring a serial killer down. It’s the gargoyle we should be concerned with. It’s what I’ve been saying all along! Those monsters are dangerous!

220. MATT
I think what A.D.A. Yale is saying, Captain, is that the Taskforce is on it. We’ll let you know if we hear anything. And we’ll be checking in with all our sources, won’t we, Detective?

221. ELISA
And fast.

Elisa, Matt, Margot, Morgan and George sit. Smuggler #1 and Demona STAND.

222. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, a van with a torn up roof pulls up to a Gramercy Park Mansion… The driver speaks into the intercom…

223. SMUGGLER #1
Longinus sent me.

224. DEMONA
Leave the package. Then take your money and go. While you still can.

225. SMUGGLER #1
Geez, who lives here? Dracula’s daughter?

Smuggler #1 sits. Eddie, John and Cletus STAND.

226. NARRATOR
Demona collects her package.

227. EDDIE
The old guy’s asleep. What’s that?

228. DEMONA
A simple wooden shaft. The prize of Adolph Hitler’s personal collection. After his… demise, his remaining followers smuggled it to Brazil. I paid handsomely to have it smuggled to me.

229. EDDIE
Why? I mean sure, it’s the shaft of a spear. Completes the set with that arrowhead you took from Ravencroft. But why do we care?

230. DEMONA
Here’s why.

231. NARRATOR
Demona joins the spear and spearhead together. Instantly, it radiates incredible power.

232. DEMONA
The Holy Lance. The Spear of Destiny. The weapon that pierced the side of the Christ. Do you still want power, John? This is power.

233. JOHN
Give it to me. Give it!

234. DEMONA
No. This power is mine. But I will use it to give you back your own…

235. NARRATOR
She points the Spear at John Jameson. The magic surrounds him and transforms him into Colonel Jupiter!

236. COLONEL JUPITER
<transformation scream> Yes! The power is mine! I am Colonel Jupiter!

237. DEMONA
For what that’s worth… Now for Eddie.

238. VENOM
<transformation scream>

239. DEMONA
Happy now?

240. VENOM
Extremely. We are Venom again.

241. DEMONA
And what about you, Cletus?

242. CLETUS
(pointing at Venom)
I’ll have what he’s having…

243. DEMONA
As you wish… Carnage.

244. CARNAGE
<transformation scream>

245. VENOM
All right, Demona. You’re the Mirror Universe Wizard of Oz. But what now?

246. DEMONA
Mine is the Power. But I still require the Kingdom and the Glory. This is only the first act, humans… or whatever you are now. The main event is still to come…

Demona, VENOM, CARNAGE and COLONEL JUPITER sit.

END ACT ONE

TOMORROW: ACT TWO...

G2009 Radio Play

Okay, gang, here's the Title Page, Cast List and Teaser for the G2009 Radio Play. As I've mentioned before this is NOT canon for either GARGOYLES or THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN. It's just a goof, which I wrote in three days. As anyone who was at the Gathering knows, it was a tremendous success. ALL credit for that should go to (a) my amazing cast of professional voice actors and talented fans and (b) my ability to pander mercilessly to my audience. So READING it, as opposed to seeing it, may be quite the let down. If you dislike it, well, what do you expect from a script written in three days? And if you like it, I guess I am a genius. ;)

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN
MEETS
GARGOYLES

Religious Studies 101:
A Handful of Thorns

A Radio Play Crossover Event

Written by
Greg Weisman

For
The Thirteenth Annual
Gathering of the Gargoyles
in
Los Angeles, California

Performed August 22, 2009.

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN MEETS GARGOYLES
“Religious Studies 101: A Handful of Thorns”
(Radio Play)
CAST LIST
NARRATOR 104 lines. (Greg Weisman)
SPIDER-MAN/PETER PARKER 76 lines. (Josh Keaton)
DEMONA/DOMINIQUE DESTINE 60 lines. (Marina Sirtis)
GOLIATH 32 lines. (Keith David)
LEXINGTON 24 lines. (Thom Adcox)
ELISA MAZA 23 lines. (Zehra Fazal)
BROOKLYN 22 lines. (John Clemens)
CURT CONNORS/LIZARD 22 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
BROADWAY 19 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
ZAFIRO 19 lines. (Joshua Poole)
MAY PARKER 19 lines. (Deborah Strang)
GREEN GOBLIN 18 lines. (Steve Blum)
OBSIDIANA 17 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
KRAVEN THE HUNTER 17 lines. (Eric Vesbit)
HARRY OSBORN 17 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
DOCTOR OCTOPUS/OTTO OCTAVIUS 17 lines. (Michael McAdam)
J. JONAH JAMESON 16 lines. (Daran Norris)
MARY JANE WATSON 16 lines. (Vanessa Marshall)
ELECTRO 15 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
VENOM/EDDIE BROCK 15 lines. (Ben Isaac Diskin)
GEORGE STACY 14 lines. (Lucas McClain)
BIG MAN 13 lines. (Keith David)
CALYPSO EZILI 13 lines. (Jennifer L. Anderson)
ASHLEY KAFKA 12 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
ROBBIE ROBERTSON 10 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
LIZ ALLAN 10 lines. (Kaitlyn Robrock)
SALLY AVRIL 10 lines. (Jennifer L. Anderson)
GWEN STACY 10 lines. (Sarah Williams)
MATT BLUESTONE 9 lines. (Eric Tribou)
GREG BISHANSKY 8 lines. (Greg Bishansky)
KENNY KONG 8 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
COLONEL JUPITER/JOHN JAMESON 8 lines. (Daran Norris)
NED LEE 7 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
VULTURE 7 lines. (Seth Jackson)
FLASH THOMPSON 7 lines. (Ian Bassett)
SHARI 6 lines. (Zehra Fazal)
FANCY DAN 6 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
GULYADKIN 6 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
CARNAGE/CLETUS KASADY 6 lines. (Ian Bassett)
HOMUNCULUS #1 5 lines. (Dee Bradley Baker)
HOMUNCULUS #2 5 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
SMUGGLER #1 5 lines. (Andrew Kishino)
DOMINIC DRACON 5 lines. (Seth Jackson)
BLACKIE GAXTON 5 lines. (Steve Blum)
EMILY OSBORN 4 lines. (Kaitlyn Robrock)
TINKERER 4 lines. (Thom Adcox)
SEYMOUR O’REILLY 4 lines. (Steve Blum)
SILVER SPOON MANAGER 4 lines. (Crispin Freeman)
ANGELA 4 lines. (Sarah Williams)
PUMPKIN BOMB 4 lines. (Nicki France)
THAILOG 3 lines. (Keith David)
HOMUNCULUS #3 3 lines. (Steve Blum)
HOMUNCULUS #5 3 lines. (Thom Adcox)
MARIA CHAVEZ 3 lines. (Elisa Gabrielli)
FREDERICK FOSWELL 3 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
ALAN O’NEIL 3 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
HOMUNCULUS #4 2 lines. (James Arnold Taylor)
ROSIE THOMPSON 2 lines. (Vanessa Marshall)
MARGOT YALE 2 lines. (Marina Sirtis)
MORGAN MORGAN 2 lines. (Keith David)
JASON IONELLO 2 lines. (Ben Isaac Diskin)
RAND ROBERTSON 2 lines. (Phil LaMarr)
BRENTWOOD 1 line. (Fox Anderson)
CHAMELEON 1 line. (Steve Blum)
NORMAN OSBORN 1 line. (Eric Vesbit)
DILBERT TRILBY 1 line. (Steve Blum)

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN MEETS GARGOYLES
“Religious Studies 101: A Handful of Thorns”
Radio Play

1. NARRATOR
Manhattan. The Ravencroft Institute. Office of Institute Director, Dr. Ashley Kafka.

ASHLEY KAFKA STANDS.

2. KAFKA
A… “dig” beneath the building’s foundation can’t help but disturb our residents. And this list of patients you’ve requested for the excavation: Edward Brock Jr., Maxwell Dillon, John Jameson, Cletus Kasady, Otto Octavius, Dominic Dracon… These are some of the most disturbed â€" perhaps even dangerous inmates we have here at Ravencroft. There’s even been some suggestion a few of them belong in the OsCorp Vault at Rykers. I know you have connections on our Board of Directors, Ms. D’STYNE, but--

DOMINIQUE DESTINE STANDS.

3. DOMINIQUE
It’s pronounced Des-STEEN. Dominique Destine. And you’ll find we’ll get along better, Doctor… if you give me what I want.

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS.

TOMORROW: ACT ONE...

Misinformation...

So I did a bit of lurking on sites like IGN, Toonzone, S8 and Superherohype and the quantity of misinformation based on my statements here and in a couple of brief, brief interviews is truly depressing. So let me at least attempt to dispel some of the erroneous assumptions that have been made.

1. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN you'd be able to use Kingpin?

Answer: I have no idea.

2. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN, you still would not be able to use Kingpin?

Answer: I have no idea.

3. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN you'd be able to use Johnny Storm?

Answer: I have no idea.

4. Is it true that if you get a third season of THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN, you still would not be able to use Johnny Storm?

Answer: I have no idea. (Sense a trend?)

5. Is it true that THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is the first "victim" of the Disney/Marvel merger?

Answer: It's WAY too soon to know, but I have no particular reason to think so. I'd think this merger could only HELP us, as Disney would now be more personally invested in the series.

6. Is it true that THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN is all but guaranteed a third season now that Disney/Marvel is merging?

Answer: It's WAY too soon to know. Our last six episodes will be airing between October and December. I'm sure the biggest factor for or against any renewal is RATINGS, RATINGS, RATINGS. Either that, or maybe RATINGS.

A few thoughts...

Got easily a hundred calls, texts, e-mails yesterday about the big Marvel/Disney news and a few about the Sony/Marvel/Spidey news, so here are a few random thoughts to go with what I posted yesterday...

1. SPEC SPIDEY: The main thing that's changed about the Spec Spidey situation is that Sony is now out of the loop/decision making process about whether or not there's a third season. Before Sony was waiting to see if Disney picked up the series. Then they'd decide on its economic feasibility for Sony. Now Sony isn't part of that equation, leaving the whole thing in Marvel and Disney's hands. Of course, now that Marvel and Disney are kinda one hand, so-to-speak, I don't know what that means for us. Other than the obvious, which is that I'm sure we're not exactly Disney/Marvel's highest priority at the moment. How and when this decision gets made is really up in the air, but a former negative does feel good -- now -- that our last six episodes won't start airing on Disney XD until late October. That means our last episode won't air until early December, which may be a better time for Disney/Marvel to focus on the show. (Or not.) Of course even a positive decision in December or (more likely) January means a HUGE gap between Seasons Two and Three, but I'd take that over no new episodes.

2. FLASHBACKS:I can't help but be reminded of events in the mid-nineties, when Michael Eisner (then CEO of Disney) wanted to buy Marvel, so that he'd have super-heroes to compete with Warner Bros' DC Universe heroes (including Superman and Batman). Back then, however, Marvel was, or so I was told, a corporate mess. And it wasn't just that -- as now -- various studios already had the rights to individual characters, but that the rights had been double sold all over the place, and that every character pretty much represented a lawsuit in the making if not already in the works. Eisner was advised NOT to buy Marvel, and of course he didn't. But he REALLY wanted to be competing in the boys action/super-hero market. That was when the Gargoyles Universe was raised as a possible alternative. We pointed out that the Marvel Universe began with the Fantastic Four, and that we could use Gargoyles as a springboard to more properties and to an entire Universe. We were encouraged by Michael to create spin-off properties, backdoor pilots, etc. And that was THE major impetus for us to work on things like New Olympians, Bad Guys, Pendragon and Dark Ages. (Gargoyles Future Tense -- which became Gargoyles 2198 and TimeDancer came later.) It was also a reason to be expansive with the World Tour and introduce more and more new characters, etc. Of course, by the time all this stuff was actually made, the world had changed again. Frank Wells died. Michael and Jeffry Katzenberg went to war, with Jeffry eventually leaving to found DreamWorks, and taking two of my immediate superiors, Gary Krisel and Bruce Cranston, with him. Rich Frank (another of my bosses up the chain) also left. Dean Valentine was placed in charge of Walt Disney Television Animation and he had no affinity for Gargoyles or its spin-offs. And Michael, who had initiated the whole thing, had way bigger concerns on his plate. I was more or less forced out. But for one bright, shining moment...

3. GARGOYLES: I'm sure a lot of people are wondering what this means for our favorite winged warriors, but in the short term, I'm sure the answer is "Not much." Gargoyles is pretty much under Disney's radar right now, and really doesn't exist on Marvel's radar at all, as far as I can tell. We'll be an extremely low priority. Our best bet is still SLG, which HOPEFULLY will be motivated by the sales of the Trades to want to make more content with me. Having read Dan "Mr. SLG" Vado's recent reaction to the Disney/Marvel merger, I'm hoping he isn't too discouraged by being in bed with his competition. But I have no doubt that the best way to get Dan fully on board is to make it worth his while by having those trades sell VERY well. So again, buy the trades and/or SPREAD THE WORD!!!!

SUCH BIG NEWS

Okay, in the period of just a few days, I have been rocked by two incredible pieces of news.

1. Last Thursday (8/27/09), Vic Cook and I were informed that in exchange for some concession vis-a-vis the live action Spider-Man features, Sony returned the television rights (including the animated television rights) for Spider-Man to Marvel. This took place the day before ComicCon, I'm told. But I was only informed of it this past week.

2. Today (8/31/09) comes the news that Disney has purchased Marvel outright.

NOW, before you ask -- before you post a thousand duplicate and/or overlapping questions to ASK GREG -- let me be clear: I have NO IDEA what this means for either Gargoyles or The Spectacular Spider-Man. Neither of these developments are by definition good news or bad news. Shocking news, sure. But how it will play out for either or both properties is a complete mystery to me. As soon as I have ANY information on either property, I will post it here at ASK GREG. Until then, don't ask. Seriously. Just don't. There's just no point in bogging down the queue with questions I have no answer to. Thank you for your cooperation.

GATHERING 2009 - Sunday, August 23rd

GATHERING 2009 - Sunday, August 23rd

1am - Got back to my room.

2am - Went to bed.

9am - I woke up. Wow, a real night's sleep. I showered and dressed quickly, attempting to make the tail end of the staff breakfast, but got waylaid along the way by arriving guests, like Bob Kline. Managed to snag one croissant, but that's it.

10am - Gargoyles Production panel with Frank Paur, Bob Kline, Brad Rader, Pamela Long, Vic Cook, Greg Guler and Doug Murphy. More fun old stories.

11:30am - Spidey Production panel with Bob, Pamela, Vic, Greg, Kevin Altieri, Jennifer Coyle, Sean "Cheeks" Galloway, Joey Mason and Phil Weinstein. We showed the unaired scenes clip from ComicCon and the animatic for the main title. And again, more fun stories.

1pm - I finally had a break, but I couldn't resist sitting in on the Composer's panel with Carl Johnson, Gargoyles Composer, and Dynamic Music Partners (Lolita Ritmanis, Kris Carter and Michael McCuistion) the Spider-Man composers. They were WELL-prepared. Way more well-prepared than I was for any of my panels. Brought a bunch of clips and talked process. It was fascinating.

2:30pm - Writers Panel. From Spidey: Andrew Robinson, Kevin Hopps, Nicole Dubuc and Matt Wayne. From Gargoyles: Bob Skir and Michael Reaves. Michael has Parkinsons, so first Bob and later Michael's daughter Mallory Reaves served as interpreters for him. It was great having everyone there.

4pm - The writers (and Karine) had a signing.

5pm - My wife dropped my son Benny off at the con. So we hung out a bit.

6pm - Benny and I went to the Banquet. We sat with Gayle, Lauren, Ryan, Grey Wolf, Read and Abbie. Real sweet spread at the buffet. But I've forgotten exactly what. I guess I'm just not that into the food this time. Is that progress?

7:30pm - Another Q&A. This time with myself, Bob Skir, Vic Cook, Greg Guler, Nicole Dubuc, Kevin Altieri, Jennifer Coyle, Ben Diskin, Crispin Freeman, Karine Charlebois and Wendy Pini. Michael Reaves kibbitzed a bit from the sidelines too.

8:30pm - By this time, Beth had picked Benny up again. I went to the bar and hung out with Vic, Guler, Kevin, Jennifer, Wendy and Karine. Just had a coke.

9:30pm - Masquerade time. The judges were myself, Wendy Pini, Keith David, Thom Adcox, Ben Diskin, Carl Johnson and Karine Charlebois. I will attempt to remember all the awards we handed out, but I forgot to save my award sheet...

Best Junior - Ryan & Lauren as Owen & Banshee
Best Performance - Abbie as the Lady in the Lake
Best Original Character - Rika as Venus
Cutest Trio - Jade, Eric and Kyari as Fox, Owen and Alex
If I give you this, I'll have to kill you award - Zehra, Tony & Andrea as Shari & the Illuminati
Best Canon - Aaron as Upgraded Jackal
Excalibur Award - Justin as King Arthur
Gorelisa Award - Charlie as Kalia Sartre
Thom Adcox Memorial Award - Rebecca as a Star Trek Dispensable Red
Best in Show - Esopus as ... okay, this was best in show and it was really great, but I just can't remember the name of the character! SORRY!!!!

10:30pm - We all just hung out in the Ballroom for awhile. I chatted with GXB, Carl Johnson, Zehra & Sarah and many, many others...

MORE NEXT WEEK!!!!!

GATHERING 2009 - Saturday, August 22nd

GATHERING 2009 - Saturday, August 22nd

3am - Went to bed.

8am - Woke up, with five hours sleep being the most I'd had in any one night in over a week.

9am - Staff Breakfast. Usually, I'm all about telling you what I ate at every meal, but I just don't remember. Orange Juice and a croissant, I think. But also... uh... not sure.

10am - Jennifer and I were joined by Gargoyles/Spidey Voice Director Extraordinaire Jamie Thomason for our second round of auditions.

11:30am - Casting session. We only had thirteen slots for fans to participate in the play because of the LARGE pro "turnout". You see, most years I ask the pros to participate and we get one or two saying yes. But this year SIXTEEN said yes. So from a fan standpoint, we had an embarrassment of riches. Over forty people auditioned and most of those did great, so we decided to cast the thirteen slots, plus STEAL a role from Thom Adcox and give that to another fan, PLUS cast a couple of fans as understudies in case someone didn't show. (But everyone did.) We posted the cast list...

12pm - Lunch in the staff room with Marina Sirtis, Keith David, Karine Charlebois, Greg Bishansky, Thom Adcox and Keith's son Owen. It's always great to see Keith, but it was very cool to see Marina again, whom I haven't seen in years. And, man, has Owen grown!! Broccoli soup, salad, and... see, can't remember!

1pm - Gargoyles Voice Acting Panel with Jamie, Keith, Thom, Marina and Elisa Gabrielli. Fun stories told. Marina and I have very different memories about how she was cast. (I'm right, but I'd never say that.)

2:30pm - Spidey Voice Acting Panel with (again) Jamie, Keith and Elisa. Plus Dee Bradley Baker, James Arnold Taylor, Ben Isaac Diskin (what's with all these three name guys?), Steve Blum, Daran Norris, Deborah Strang, Vanessa Marshall, Josh Keaton, Andrew Kishino, Phil LaMarr, Crispin Freeman and Eric Vesbit. More fun stories. Jamie and I disagreed about how many characters we auditioned. And once again, I'm right. It's a blessing and a curse, as Monk would say.

4pm - Radio Play Rehearsal. We barely had time to do one full read through of the ridiculously long and over-stuffed radio play. There was really no time to direct the actors at all, beyond telling them to project louder, though Jamie and I tried to give an occasional pointer.

5:30pm - Radio Play. Gotta say, thanks to my shameless pandering in the script and the amazing talent of my cast, we really had a phenomenal success with the three night mess of a bloated script I wrote. Got lots of laughs, even a few gasps. Pros were spot on, of course, including some Gargoyles folks who hadn't played their characters in years. But our fan cast was great too.

Here's the cast list:

THE SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN MEETS GARGOYLES
“Religious Studies 101: A Handful of Thorns”
(Radio Play)
CAST LIST
NARRATOR - Greg Weisman
DEMONA/DOMINIQUE DESTINE - Marina Sirtis
SPIDER-MAN/PETER PARKER - Josh Keaton
GOLIATH - Keith David
LEXINGTON - Thom Adcox
ELISA MAZA - Zehra Fazal
BROOKLYN - John Clemens
CURT CONNORS/LIZARD - Dee Bradley Baker
BROADWAY - Crispin Freeman
ZAFIRO - Joshua Poole
MAY PARKER - Deborah Strang
GREEN GOBLIN - Steve Blum
OBSIDIANA - Elisa Gabrielli
KRAVEN THE HUNTER - Eric Vesbit
HARRY OSBORN - James Arnold Taylor
DOCTOR OCTOPUS/OTTO OCTAVIUS - Michael McAdam
J. JONAH JAMESON - Daran Norris
MARY JANE WATSON - Vanessa Marshall
ELECTRO - Crispin Freeman
VENOM/EDDIE BROCK - Ben Isaac Diskin
GEORGE STACY - Lucas McClain
BIG MAN - Keith David
CALYPSO EZILI - Jennifer L. Anderson
ASHLEY KAFKA - Elisa Gabrielli
ROBBIE ROBERTSON - Phil LaMarr
LIZ ALLAN - Kaitlyn Robrock
SALLY AVRIL - Jennifer L. Anderson
GWEN STACY - Sarah Williams
MATT BLUESTONE - Eric Tribou
GREG BISHANSKY - Greg Bishansky
KENNY KONG - Andrew Kishino
COLONEL JUPITER/JOHN JAMESON - Daran Norris
NED LEE - Andrew Kishino
VULTURE - Seth Jackson
FLASH THOMPSON - Ian Bassett
SHARI - Zehra Fazal
FANCY DAN - Phil LaMarr
GULYADKIN - Dee Bradley Baker
CARNAGE/CLETUS KASADY - Ian Bassett
HOMUNCULUS #1 - Dee Bradley Baker
HOMUNCULUS #2 - Phil LaMarr
HOMUNCULUS #3 - Steve Blum
HOMUNCULUS #4 - James Arnold Taylor
HOMUNCULUS #5 - Thom Adcox
SMUGGLER #1 - Andrew Kishino
DOMINIC DRACON - Seth Jackson
BLACKIE GAXTON - Steve Blum
EMILY OSBORN - Kaitlyn Robrock
TINKERER - Thom Adcox
SEYMOUR O’REILLY - Steve Blum
SILVER SPOON MANAGER - Crispin Freeman
ANGELA - Sarah Williams
PUMPKIN BOMB - Nicki France
THAILOG - Keith David
MARIA CHAVEZ - Elisa Gabrielli
FREDERICK FOSWELL - James Arnold Taylor
ALAN O’NEIL - James Arnold Taylor
ROSIE THOMPSON - Vanessa Marshall
MARGOT YALE - Marina Sirtis
MORGAN MORGAN - Keith David
JASON IONELLO - Ben Isaac Diskin
RAND ROBERTSON - Phil LaMarr
BRENTWOOD - Fox Anderson
CHAMELEON - Steve Blum
NORMAN OSBORN - Eric Vesbit
DILBERT TRILBY - Steve Blum

Thanks to the entire cast. You guys were amazing, and totally saved my butt.

7pm - Once the play was over, all the tension and adrenaline that it had generated over the last week or so melted away, leaving me nearly comotose. I went to dinner in the hotel with my wife Beth and my son Benny. I didn't eat much. Clam Chowder, a roll, a coke and a shrimp cocktail. I was all but passing out. Fortunately, I got a second wind... and I'd need it.

9pm - Blue Mug w/Thom Adcox and the staff of Blue Mug Productions: Mara Cordova, Kalia Sartre, Jennifer L. Anderson and Boswell Bosley. I had to duck out for awhile, and I hear Edmund Tsabard showed up and pretty much insulted everyone in the room. (So what else is new?) I came back, by which time Edmund was gone. I picked up my water glass to take a drink, and someone told me that Thom's chihuahua had sipped from my glass. Someone else pointed at another glass and said that was the one the dog had lapped from. I shrugged it off and sipped from my glass. Then Jen told me Edmund had used that glass. I did a spit-take. I mean do you know where Edmund's mouth has been?!!! I hate to do anything to promote anything that reprobate is working on, but the work of the rest of the Blue Mug staff is so good that I'll ignore his contribution and recommend BlueMugProductions.com to all of you (who are 18 or over). I've seen the work, and it's really good!!! By the way, whomever took my Vox-made macrame Greg doll and put an eyepatch on it to turn it into an Edmund doll: UNCOOL!!! I don't even see the resemblance anyway!

11:30pm - After the mug, a few of us -- Jennifer, Mara, Eric and Tony -- went upstairs to the staff room. I had a virgin jello shot. Black Cherry!

More tomorrow!