G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act One

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS. Act One. Late that night atop the Eyrie Building…

Dominique and Kafka sit. GOLIATH and ELISA MAZA STAND and KISS.

5. GOLIATH, ELISA
<kiss>

6. GOLIATH
There are some human customs I will never get used to Elisa. <kisses her again> This is not one of them.

7. ELISA
You’re in a good mood.

8. GOLIATH
I am. Hudson and Lexington are back from Europe, bringing Coldstone and Coldfire with them.

9. ELISA
<chuckle> Not to mention Brooklyn returning from forty years of TimeDancing with a mate, a son, a beast and an egg.

10. GOLIATH
The clan has doubled in size. What challenge can the Fates throw at us now that we cannotâ€"

11. NARRATOR
The sun rises. Goliath turns to stone.

12. ELISA
<groan> You just had to say that out loud, didn’t you?

Elisa and Goliath sit. MAY PARKER and PETER PARKER STAND.

13. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, in Forest Hills…

14. MAY
Peter, what are you doing up?

15. PETER
Studying for today’s English final. It’s on Midsummer Night’s Dream. And I missed seeing the Cliff Notes version.

16. MAY
Which may explain why you and Miss Allan are no longer a couple.

17. PETER
Aunt May, you know we didn’t break up because I missed her play.

18. MAY
You’re right; I shouldn’t be glib. I suppose there’s no chance that you and Gwen…

19. PETER
I don’t know. Not now anyway. Not when Harry’s hurting so much from the death of his father.

20. MAY
It hardly seems possible that Norman Osborn is gone. The Bugle says he was the Green Goblin, but I’m not sure I can believe that.

21. PETER
Sometimes, Aunt May… it’s, okay, to believe everything you read…

May and Peter sit. GREEN GOBLIN and BLACKIE GAXTON STAND.

22. NARRATOR
At a dive bar downtown, the Green Goblin BURSTS in on his glider…

23. GREEN GOBLIN
<tsk, tsk, tsk> Blackie. This place is scummy even by your pond-scum standards. Quite a comedown from your last gig…

24. BLACKIE
Tell that to the whacko who set a flaming super-villain loose in The Big Sky. Oh, wait. That was you.

25. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes. Yes, it was. <maniacal laugh>

26. BLACKIE
Weren’t you supposed to be dead?

27. GREEN GOBLIN
I was also supposed to be Osborn, but you didn’t buy that, did you? Just one of the many little tricks I keep up my sleeve. Nothing’s changed, Blackie. The Goblin’s still in charge.

28. BLACKIE
You hear me arguing?

29. GREEN GOBLIN
No. Now, gather my Pumpkin-Heads…

Blackie and Goblin sit. Kafka and Dominique STAND.

30. NARRATOR
At Ravencroft, Dominique Destine and Dr. Kafka supervises six inmates who work to excavate a sub-basement.

31. KAFKA
I still don’t understand what you expect to find down here.

32. DOMINIQUE
Vertros Ravencroft, the founder of this Institute, was a quirky soul. An intimate friend of Freud and Conan Doyle, he was a true believer in both psychotherapy and spiritualism.

33. KAFKA
You speak as if you knew him.

34. DOMINIQUE
Now how would that be possible?

35. KAFKA
It couldn’t, of course… But the dig?

36. DOMINIQUE
Yes. Ravencroft was also a collector. I have reason to believe he buried certain items of his collection here. Now, Doctor, didn’t you say you had meetings scheduled…

37. KAFKA
You’ll be all right down here alone?

38. DOMINIQUE
Your orderlies are in the hallway. And I’m quite self-sufficient. So run along.

Kafka sits. OTTO OCTAVIUS STANDS.

39. DOMINIQUE
Excellent work, Doctor Octavius. Very precise.

40. OTTO
Thank you. I appreciate having something to occupy my hands…

41. DOMINIQUE
Your hands? Not… your arms?

42. OTTO
Arms? I… I hope you’re not referring to my unfortunate… b-b-breakdown.

43. DOMINIQUE
What would be the point? Believe me, Doctor, no one better understands the advantage of creating a false front.

ELECTRO STANDS.

44. ELECTRO
I’ve blasted away another section of cement.

45. DOMINIQUE
Thank you, Maxwell.

46. ELECTRO
Don’t. Call. Me. That.

47. DOMINIQUE
Don’t. Tell. Me. What to do… Electro.

48. ELECTRO
Uh… okay.
(asides to Otto)
She’s a little scary.

49. OTTO
Indeed.

Otto and Electro sit. DOMINIC DRACON, JOHN JAMESON, EDDIE BROCK and CLETUS KASSADY STAND.

50. DRACON
I blame Mace. When that crook cheated me, I lost face. But when I get the jewels back, they’ll respect me again. Did Mace bury the jewels here?

51. DOMINIQUE
Maybe he did, Dominic. Keep working.

52. JOHN
What’s the point? How is tearing up a basement supposed to bring me Colonel Jupiter’s power?!

53. EDDIE
Shut up and dig.

54. JOHN
You like doing this?!

55. EDDIE
I hate it. But I need that hate. I need to keep the hate alive.

56. DOMINIQUE
Such an interesting crew. And what do you want out of life, Cletus…

57. CLETUS
Nothing too fancy. <chuckles> Just a little carnage.

Cletus, Dominique, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. GWEN STACY and Peter STAND.

58. NARRATOR
That afternoon, at Midtown High…

59. GWEN
Hey, Pete. How’d you do?

60. PETER
Ugh, horrible, probably. I mean you know English is like my worst subject. It’s all so subjective andâ€"

61. GWEN
Peter.

62. PETER
Okay, okay… not the look! I probably aced it. Happy?

63. GWEN
That you did well. Always.

64. PETER
Thanks. Look, Gwen, I--

HARRY OSBORN STANDS.

65. HARRY
Well, what have we here? My best friend and girlfriend conferring in a corner. Planning a surprise party for me?

66. PETER
Uh, it’s not your birthday, Harr.

67. HARRY
I thought maybe it was a thank you bash. For giving you both these…

68. GWEN
(reading)
“You are cordially invited to spend Spring Break traveling by private jet to Miami, where you’ll stay, all-expenses-paid, at the Osborn Winter Compound on the Beach…"

69. PETER
You’re inviting the three of us to spend a week together in Florida?

70. HARRY
Not just the three of us…

KENNY KONG, FLASH THOMPSON and MARY JANE WATSON stand.

71. KONG
Osborn, dude! You rock!

72. FLASH
Seven days in the sun and surf.

73. KONG
All you can eat!

74. FLASH
Girls in bikinis!

75. FLASH, KONG (UNISON)
Score! <laughter>

76. MARY JANE
Hi, Sha Shan. Hi, Glory.

77. FLASH
Sha Shan… uh… So… how much of that did you hear?

78. KONG
Look, Glory, you know I meant you, right? I mean who else would I want to see in a bikini. Uh, you’re not gonna break up with me again, are you?

Kong and Flash sit. SALLY AVRIL, RAND ROBERTSON, LIZ ALLAN and JASON IONELLO STAND.

79. SALLY
Oh. My. God. Harry, I just found the invitation in my locker. And all I have to say is that you can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy anytime you want!

80. HARRY
You okay with that Rand?

81. RAND
‘Scool. You can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy too.

82. PETER
Exactly how many people did you invite to this thing?

83. HARRY
A handful. Kenny and Glory. Flash and Sha Shan. Rand and Sally. Hobie and Mindy. M.J. Gwen. Oh, and you and Liz, of course.

84. GWEN
Harry… Liz and Peter broke up.

85. HARRY
You did?! Wow. I had no idea. Guess I’ve just been so focused on my own problems. My Dad dying and everything. That’s why I need this trip. Gotta clear my head, you know? But maybe you two could reconcile…

86. SALLY
I don’t think so!

87. LIZ
It’s too late for that Harry. I’m with Jason now. We totally fell in love doing the play together.

88. JASON
We did?

89. SALLY / LIZ (UNISON)
Yes, you did. / Yes, we did.

90. LIZ
You don’t mind if I bring Jason instead of Petey, do you.

91. HARRY
The more the merrier.

92. LIZ
Thanks, Harry. You’re a doll. Kisses!

Liz, Sally, Jason and Rand sit.

93. HARRY
Pete, you’re still invited too. Course, it’s more of a couple’s thing. But M.J.’s guy is in prison…

94. MARY JANE
Thank you, Harry. Hadn’t been reminded of that in the last five minutes.

95. HARRY
Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I can’t help remembering the Fall Formal. You two made such a great pair! Don’t you think so, Gwen?

96. GWEN
Great.

97. PETER
I… suppose we could go… as friends. Just as friends.

98. MARY JANE
We’ll talk later, Tiger.

Mary Jane, Peter, Gwen and Harry sit. Kafka and CURT CONNORS STAND.

99. NARRATOR
Late that afternoon in Dr. Kafka’s office…

100. KAFKA
Doctor Connors, it’s good to see you. I’d heard you moved to Florida.

101. CURT
I did. But I never stopped working on a cure for Max Dillon. I think I’ve made some real progress.

102. KAFKA
That’s wonderful news. Max is downstairs… doing “work-therapy”. I’ll take you to him…

Kafka and Curt sit. Otto, Dominique, Electro, Dracon, John, Eddie and Cletus STAND.

103. ELECTRO
Ms. Destine. I think I found something.

104. DRACON
Is it my jewels?

105. OTTO
It… it appears to be a spearhead. It looks quite old.

106. DOMINIQUE
Give it to me.

107. ELECTRO
Sure, sure.

108. DOMINIQUE
Yes. This is it. I think we’re done, boys.

109. OTTO
Indeed. And just as the dig brought us right up against Ravencroft’s outer wall.

110. ELECTRO
You mean this wall?!

111. NARRATOR
Electro blasts a huge hole in the wall. When the smoke clears, the Vulture is waiting. He grabs Octavius.

VULTURE STANDS.

112. VULTURE
You’re coming with me, Otto.

113. OTTO
No, no, stop. I don’t want this life anymore… I’m trying to get better!! Let me go!!

114. ELECTRO
Shut it, Doc! It’s for your own good!

115. OTTO
Nooooooo!!!!

Otto, Electro and Vulture sit.

116. NARRATOR
Vulture and Electro leave with Octavius. Dominique watches them go.

117. DOMINIQUE
Well, that was diverting. And such excellent timing as well: it’s sunset. <transformation scream>

118. NARRATOR
With the setting of the sun, Dominique Destine transforms into a gargoyle… just as Kafka and Connors enter…

Kafka and Curt STAND.

119. KAFKA / CURT
Oh my god… / What in the world?!

120. NARRATOR
Demona effortlessly slams them both against a wall and turns to the remaining inmates…

121. CURT, KAFKA
<impacts, moans>

122. DEMONA
Listen carefully, humans. For I have listened to you. I can make all your petty little dreams come true. Dominic demands respect.

123. DRACON
Yes.

124. DEMONA
John craves power.

125. JOHN
Yes!

126. DEMONA
Eddie needs hate.

127. EDDIE
YES!

128. DEMONA
And all Cletus desires is a little carnage.

129. CLETUS
Or a lot. I’m not picky.

130. DEMONA
Then stick with me, boys. Respect, power, hatred, carnage. These are things I know…

DEMONA, Cletus, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. ALAN O’NEIL and GEORGE STACY STAND.

131. NARRATOR
Later, the police arrive to investigate…

132. O’NEIL
And you never met this broad before in your life…

133. KAFKA
She had excellent references, Officer O’Neil. It’s not like I grant just anyone access to my patients…

134. O’NEIL
And you wonder why people think they belong at Rykers.

135. GEORGE
There’s nothing else you can tell me, Doctor?

136. CURT
I’m sorry, Captain Stacy, but no. It was a creature.

137. GEORGE
Like that Lizard-thing from last fall?

138. CURT
No! No. Nothing like that. More like… like those things on the news that blew up the clock tower.

139. GEORGE
You mean the 23rd Precinct.

140. CURT
Yes.

141. GEORGE
You’re saying a gargoyle kidnapped those men.

142. CURT
Yes. No. I don’t know. Can I leave now?

George, O’Neil and Kafka sit. DILBERT TRILBY and NED LEE stand.

143. NARRATOR
But outside…

144. TRILBY
Doctor Connors! Dilbert Trilby, Action News. What can you tell our audience about the escape?

145. CURT
Nothing. No comment.

146. NED
Hey, Doc. Remember me? Ned Lee from The Bugle. Can you just tell me who escaped? Doc Ock? Electro? Colonel Jupiter â€" I mean, Colonel Jameson?

147. CURT
I’m sure the police will issue a statement. Now, I have to go.

Trilby sits. CALYPSO EZILI, KRAVEN THE HUNTER and GULYADKIN STAND.

148. NARRATOR
Connors hurries away down the street, as a limousine with dark-tinted windows pulls up in front of Ravencroft.

149. CALYPSO
We are too late, my love. The Christian Totem is gone.

150. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin and I will track it for you.

151. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

152. CALYPSO
I’m afraid that is beyond even your impressive abilities, Sergei, my love. But I have my own ways, as you well know…

153. KRAVEN
Of course, Calypso.

154. CALYPSO
Who is that? That man trying to hail a cab?

155. KRAVEN
He is a stranger to my eyes. Yet his scent is familiar.

156. CALYPSO
His aura glows with primal energies and may be of use to us.
(to Curt)
You need a ride.

157. CURT
What? No. No, thank you. I’ll get a cab.

158. KRAVEN
She wasn’t asking.

159. CURT
<scream>

160. NARRATOR
Kraven drags Connors into the limo, which quickly drives away…

Curt, Kraven, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit.

161. NED
Hello, Robbie? I’ve got something.

J. JONAH JAMESON, JOE “ROBBIE” ROBERTSON and FREDERICK FOSWELL STAND.

162. JONAH
Is that Lee? Put him on speaker.

163. ROBBIE
Now, Jonah, stay calm…

164. JONAH
Don’t you tell me to stay calm, Joe Robertson. It’s not your son at risk. Lee, you there?! I’ll give you exactly three-point-seven seconds to tell me John’s all right!

165. NED
Wish I could, Chief. But he disappeared with the rest. There are six inmaâ€" uh, patients missing. It’s not clear if they busted out or were kidnapped.

166. JONAH
Well, of course John was kidnapped. You think my son would--

167. ROBBIE
Ned, give me the whole list.

168. JONAH
Who cares about the listâ€"

169. ROBBIE
It could provide a lead to John.

170. NED
Doc Ock. Electro. John. Uh… let’s see. Edward Brock Jr., Cletus Kasady and Dominic Dracon.

171. FOSWELL
Dominic Dracon? The old mob boss? There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.

172. JONAH
Foswell, you know that world! Find out where Dracon might have gone!

173. FOSWELL
You got it, J.J.

174. JONAH
Lee, you stick to the damn super-villain angle! Ock, Electro. What’s their next move?!

175. NED
Right, boss!

176. JONAH
Robbie, I want every available man on this. No, damnit, I want every man, woman and child on this, available or not. Call Parker. Put Benny the copyboy on it. But Ms. Brant on it. I want John Jameson safely back in his mother’s arms in six-point… six-point…

177. ROBBIE
It’s okay, Jonah. We’re on it.

178. JONAH
Good. Good. I’ll… I’ll hit the streets myself. I’m still the best damn reporter in New York City! Just have to make a call first. Well, what are you all waiting for, get out! Out!

Robbie, Ned and Foswell sit.

179. JONAH (CONT)
Hello, is this WVRN? Travis Marshall, please. Travis? It’s Jonah. I got a lead for you on the Ravencroft thing.
(pauses, listening)
Whaddayou care why I’m helping the competition?! I know I hate television! You don’t have to tell me that! I’m not trying to sandbag you, damnit, I… I’m just trying to find my son… any way I can.

Jonah sits. SPIDER-MAN STANDS.

180. NARRATOR
That night finds Spider-Man swinging through the city…

181. PETER (VO)
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Harry was trying to torture me and Gwen. Then again, M.J. is quite the consolation prize. Ah, man, what am I saying? I’m in love with Gwen. Gwen. Gwendolyn Stacy. Just have to get through the next few weeks and then Harry’ll be in a better place, and she and I--

182. NARRATOR
Pete’s ringtone plays Itsy-Bitsy Spider.

183. SPIDER-MAN
Hello?

Robbie STANDS.

184. ROBBIE
Pete. Joe Robertson. There’s been an incident at Ravencroft.

Robbie sits.

185. SPIDER-MAN
Uh huh… uh huh… Wait, who’s missing? Uh oh. Him too? Oh, crap. Sorry, I mean-- What?! Seriously?! Uh, right. Yeah, I’ll keep my eyes open. Camera lens at the ready. Thanks for the heads up. Bye.
(to himself)
Whoa. At least this day can’t get any worse!

SMUGGLER #1 stands.

186. SMUGGLER #1
What the hell are those things?!

187. SPIDER-MAN
When am I gonna learn not to say that out loud?

188. NARRATOR
Spidey swings down to find two men in a van being attacked by two gargoyles, Obsidiana and Zafiro…

ZAFIRO and OBSIDIANA STAND.

189. SPIDER-MAN
Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but this lady-esque-blue-creature-thing matches the description of another lady-esque-blue-creature-thing who just busted some folks out of Ravenâ€"

190. ZAFIRO
What is he babbling about?

191. OBSIDIANA
I have no idea. I sense no connection between him and the source of the disturbance. But these two…

192. SMUGGLER #1
Keep her away from us!!

193. SPIDER-MAN
You see, now I’m on the horns of a dilemma… Uh, no offense. It’s just an expression; I wasn’t referring to your rather striking… Never mind. See in this particular Spider-Man’s experience, when genetic misfits attack ordinary human beings, I’m gonna have to side with the humans.

194. ZAFIRO
Qué sorpresa. A human with no knowledge of the situation leaping to defend one of his own.

195. NARRATOR
Zafiro attacks Spidey.

196. ZAFIRO, SPIDER-MAN
<ad lib battle efforts, impacts>

197. NARRATOR
Obsidiana rips open the top of the van.

198. OBSIDIANA
<rip effort>

199. SMUGGLER #1
Stay back!

200. NARRATOR
The two humans open fire on her, forcing her to leap away… The van peels out. Obsidiana tries to follow, but Spidey webs her wings together.

Smuggler #1 sits.

201. OBSIDIANA
Por favor! You don’t understand the powers that are gathering!!

202. SPIDER-MAN
And you’re the one doing the Gathering, I take it!

203. OBSIDIANA
No!

204. ZAFIRO
Enough!

205. SPIDER-MAN
<impact grunt>

206. NARRATOR
Zafiro slams Spidey into a wall. By the time the web-slinger recovers, the gargoyles are gone…

Zafiro and Obsidiana sit.

207. SPIDER-MAN
<groan> For a guy with no legs, that snake-thing can move…

Spider-Man sits. George and MARIA CHAVEZ STAND.

208. NARRATOR
Not far away…

209. GEORGE
Captain Chavez.

210. CHAVEZ
Captain Stacy. What brings you to what’s left of the 23rd?

211. GEORGE
It’s the Ravencroft thing. I’ve got corroborating witnesses telling me a gargoyle was involved.

212. CHAVEZ
<sigh> I miss the days when being a cop didn’t involve a working knowledge of The Twilight Zone.

213. GEORGE
Welcome to the Freak Show.

214. CHAVEZ
Anyway, as it happens, the Gargoyle Taskforce is meeting right now. First trailer on the right. Ask for Bluestone.

Chavez sits. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN MORGAN, MARGOT YALE and Elisa STAND.

215. NARRATOR
Minutes later…

216. GEORGE
And that’s all I know…

217. MATT
Well, that is interesting, or, you know… really, really scary.

218. MORGAN
I’ll say, Detective. With or without a gargoyle, I’ve heard Ock and Electro are bad news. And that Cletus Kasady: he killed five people before--

219. MARGOT
Forget Kasady. Any idiot can bring a serial killer down. It’s the gargoyle we should be concerned with. It’s what I’ve been saying all along! Those monsters are dangerous!

220. MATT
I think what A.D.A. Yale is saying, Captain, is that the Taskforce is on it. We’ll let you know if we hear anything. And we’ll be checking in with all our sources, won’t we, Detective?

221. ELISA
And fast.

Elisa, Matt, Margot, Morgan and George sit. Smuggler #1 and Demona STAND.

222. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, a van with a torn up roof pulls up to a Gramercy Park Mansion… The driver speaks into the intercom…

223. SMUGGLER #1
Longinus sent me.

224. DEMONA
Leave the package. Then take your money and go. While you still can.

225. SMUGGLER #1
Geez, who lives here? Dracula’s daughter?

Smuggler #1 sits. Eddie, John and Cletus STAND.

226. NARRATOR
Demona collects her package.

227. EDDIE
The old guy’s asleep. What’s that?

228. DEMONA
A simple wooden shaft. The prize of Adolph Hitler’s personal collection. After his… demise, his remaining followers smuggled it to Brazil. I paid handsomely to have it smuggled to me.

229. EDDIE
Why? I mean sure, it’s the shaft of a spear. Completes the set with that arrowhead you took from Ravencroft. But why do we care?

230. DEMONA
Here’s why.

231. NARRATOR
Demona joins the spear and spearhead together. Instantly, it radiates incredible power.

232. DEMONA
The Holy Lance. The Spear of Destiny. The weapon that pierced the side of the Christ. Do you still want power, John? This is power.

233. JOHN
Give it to me. Give it!

234. DEMONA
No. This power is mine. But I will use it to give you back your own…

235. NARRATOR
She points the Spear at John Jameson. The magic surrounds him and transforms him into Colonel Jupiter!

236. COLONEL JUPITER
<transformation scream> Yes! The power is mine! I am Colonel Jupiter!

237. DEMONA
For what that’s worth… Now for Eddie.

238. VENOM
<transformation scream>

239. DEMONA
Happy now?

240. VENOM
Extremely. We are Venom again.

241. DEMONA
And what about you, Cletus?

242. CLETUS
(pointing at Venom)
I’ll have what he’s having…

243. DEMONA
As you wish… Carnage.

244. CARNAGE
<transformation scream>

245. VENOM
All right, Demona. You’re the Mirror Universe Wizard of Oz. But what now?

246. DEMONA
Mine is the Power. But I still require the Kingdom and the Glory. This is only the first act, humans… or whatever you are now. The main event is still to come…

Demona, VENOM, CARNAGE and COLONEL JUPITER sit.

END ACT ONE

TOMORROW: ACT TWO...