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Smart-Ass Responses

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One writes...

1) Will we ever receive any direct answers on the Lost Race other than "Maybe", "I'm not saying", "I'm not saying at this time", etc. any time soon?

2) Can you tell us everything about the Lost Race?

3) If so, tell us about the Lost race.

Greg responds...

1. Maybe but I'm not saying at this time.

2. Everything? No.

3. Well, they're lost. Bad sense of direction.

Response recorded on August 08, 2001

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Lexy writes...

Hey..what the heck..while I'm here..

Are you in the mood _today_ to tell us about Lexington's mate? *smiles* *crosses talons*

Greg responds...

Yeah. What do you want to know?

Response recorded on August 08, 2001

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Greg "Xanatos" Bishansky writes...

::Follows in Lexy's footsteps::

No my question is not about Lex's mate. But I'm as big a Demona fan as she is a Lex fan ;)

Are you in the mood to talk about one or both of Demona's next two great loves??

Greg responds...

What, now?

Response recorded on August 08, 2001

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Lord Sloth writes...

I was wondering what you ment when you said that dolphins have a 8 day week and whales have something like a 37 day week. So what did you mean?

Greg responds...

I was being a smart ass. Yeesh.

Response recorded on July 27, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Is Fox still alive?

Greg responds...

Why? What have you heard?

Response recorded on July 27, 2001

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NightAngel writes...

I have read the whole Smart-Ass Responses. And many people have asked what Titania whispered to Fox. And you came up with a SA Responses and didn't tell them. But my question is, do you know what Titania whispered to Fox? Or is it just something that is making us all wonder?

Greg responds...

Can't it be both?

Response recorded on July 20, 2001

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Jacob writes...

What was first in the Gargoyle-Universe, the egg or the gargoyle?

Greg responds...

The tiresome question.

Response recorded on July 20, 2001

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Jacob writes...

Let's say someone would put a spell on Fox so that she can only say the FULL truth and leave nothung out, what would she answer if she's asked what Titania had whispered to her in the night Oberon wanted to Alex away to Avalon?

Greg responds...

"None of your business."

Response recorded on July 20, 2001

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matt writes...

ok, a beast generally lays more than three eggs in a lifetime. and you are being difficult (as always) and not being very specific... ok, we know that beast mature and can mate a generation before other gargs, and we know that beast live about the same length of time that other gargs do, but can beast continue having children after other gargs stop? if not then garg beast can have about 4 eggs, if so, they could have alot of eggs, i think.

so, how many eggs can a female garg beast generally lay?

Greg responds...

The world may never know.

(That smart-ass response was a reference to an old tootsie-pop commercial. Anyone old enough to remember it has my sympathy.)

Response recorded on July 11, 2001

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Gipdac writes...

1) You've said that Bronx will have children. How many children will he and his mate (Boudicca, right?) have?
2) Will they have names?
3) If the answer to two is yes, then what are their names?
4) Will they be raised on Avalon or in Manhattan?

Greg responds...

1. Not saying.
2. Yes.
3. Not and Saying.
4. Not saying.

Response recorded on July 11, 2001

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Gipdac writes...

How does Jon Castaway (Canmore) die?

Greg responds...

Mortally.

Response recorded on July 11, 2001

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The Souldier writes...

When a gargoyle walks across a hard wood floor do they leave claw marks in it?

Greg responds...

I have no more funny answers to this question.

Response recorded on July 11, 2001

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Sloth writes...

Would "Dark Ages" be restricted to the Wiverin area or would it go to places like Kennith's castle, loch ness and edinbrough? How bout England and Irland? Parris? Austrilla? neptune?

Greg responds...

Yeah. Neptune. Planned on spending a lot of time on Neptune.

Response recorded on July 09, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who has more magic? Merlin or Morgana?

Greg responds...

I know I've answered this before, but here goes.

I think the Thing is on an average day, stronger than the Hulk. But the madder Hulk gets the stronger he gets. So ultimately the Hulk is stronger. But that doesn't mean the Thing can't take him. Ben Grimm knows his stuff.

There. I hope we've finally put that question to rest.

Response recorded on July 09, 2001

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matt writes...

what would happen at dawn if Demona put on a Mayan sun amulet? would she turn to a human or remain a gargoyle?

Greg responds...

I think she'd turn human. But I don't think she'd be able to nap.

Response recorded on July 03, 2001

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matt writes...

just watched "The Hound of Ulster", and (arn't you surprised?) i had some questions:

1. when the Banche saved Goliath, Elisa, and Angela from drowning in the bog, how did she do it? did she transport them to that chamber, or was that chamber directly below the bog or what?

2. How old is Rory? and how old is Molly? Rory said he was out of school and i'm asuming he means high school... so is he, 19? 20?

3. after the episode, what and how much did Rory tell his father? everything?

and as Gargoyles is known for its foreshadowing:

4. when Goliath said, "A whole clan of gargoyles could not batter down these walls!" were you thinking of the Irish garg clan you've said existed being in that same chamber ever?

5. Rory said, "The Hound of Ulster? Sure, and dwarves made me shoes..." well, the hound turned out to exist, so DID dwarves make Rory's shoes? :)

Greg responds...

1. She transported them.

2. I don't have that information with me at this time. But he's under 20 in that episode.

3. I'm not committing to that right now.

4. Ditto.

5. Not the ones he was wearing at that moment. But the Nike's he had back in his closet.

Response recorded on July 02, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Will we ever meet the biblical Goliath?

Greg responds...

Sure. He'll be at Virgina Beach, next summer.

Response recorded on July 02, 2001

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Demonskrye writes...

I know I'm probably setting myself up for a big fat "no" or a cryptic response, but I think this is worth a shot.

What do you know about Tom's father? Who was he? What did he do for a living? Was he dead by 995 or still alive? If he was alive, why didn't we see him at all?

Any little teasers would be appreciated. Thank you.

Greg responds...

You're welcome.

Response recorded on July 01, 2001

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Sloth writes...

This ones been bugin me for a while!
So if money is not a nessasary evil in the gargoyles universe, how does goliath's clan get their food? Does Elisa not mind providing for them, or do they steal it even though they seem to have some respect for human laws. Or do they get ALL their energy from the sun and eating is just a comfort that they indulge in?
Thanks!

Greg responds...

Didn't I just not answer this yesterday?

Response recorded on June 30, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

By now the 2198 contest has probabyl ended so a few questions

1.Why doesn't Oberon involve himself in the war afterall the head of his honor guard has been taken hostage along with Titania's grandson?
2.What ever happened to Natsilane's parents?
3.Is the Delilah, Samson and Zafiro relationship in anyway like that of the trio? Who exactly is Samson's mate going to be?
4.What is the proper name for the Space-Spawn
5.How did Coyote become so devious?

Greg responds...

1. Are you sure Oberon is still alive?

2. I'm not answering this now.

3. Well, there are three of them. But no two groups are exactly the same. Samson likes Delilah. Delilah likes Samson. But whether they ever become mates is an open question.

4. As opposed to Space-Spawn?

5. Iron supplements.

Response recorded on June 30, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Was the Lost race like the children of Oberon and Gargoyles derived from legends and myths?

Greg responds...

I've lost the answer to that question.

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

1.Is one of the factors that Una was the leader of the London clan because she knew how to use magic?
2.What kind of magical stuff does Una sell in her ship?

Greg responds...

1. Probably didn't hurt.

2. She doesn't have a ship.

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

In what period would Timedancing Brooklyn arrive in Xanadu, China?

Greg responds...

Not telling. Neener, neener, neener.

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

You said that the New Olympians had something better than nuclear tech could you tell us what it is?

Greg responds...

Zeracoy Enex Power.

(I just made that up.)

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Why is Proteus an insane mass murderer?

Greg responds...

Not enough iron in his diet.

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who created the stone dragon in Pendragon? Do we know their names?

Greg responds...

Is that the royal We?

Response recorded on June 29, 2001

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Alex "Cyclonus" Bishansky writes...

Ok, a rather stupid question.

Xanatos, Republican or Democrat?

Greg responds...

Independent.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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Sapphire writes...

Taurus said that Elisa Maza was the first human to visit New Olympus in over 2000 years meaning that around the time Christ was born, a human must of accidently stumbled on to New Olympus can you give discription of what must have happen to this human when he accidently dicovered the secret island?

Greg responds...

I can, yes.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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matt writes...

do you think it is possible and likely that Goliath and Iago are close relatives biologically, like cousins perhaps? they just seem pretty similar compared to most gargs... the black hair, the purple wings, etc.

i'm sorry, i know how you hate questions about bilogical garg relatives... but i had to know!

Greg responds...

I'm glad you put that in the past tense.

Otherwise I'd be worried that this response would upset you.

Response recorded on June 27, 2001

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Andrea writes...

What were your plans for Goliath and Angela ?

Greg responds...

Extensive.

Response recorded on June 20, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

How does Xanatos exploit the New Olympians?

Greg responds...

Any way he can.

Response recorded on June 19, 2001

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Basilisk writes...

Does the weight of a gargoyle increase when they turn to stone?

Greg responds...

Ask the floor.

Response recorded on June 19, 2001

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Jade writes...

Where was Demona during the Civil and Revolutionary war,and what did she do?PS Gargoyles is the best show ever!)

Greg responds...

Someplace. Lots of things.

Response recorded on May 09, 2001

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Shavri writes...

What is the most annoying question anyone has asked you here?

Greg responds...

(This set up is just too obvious.)

You mean BESIDES this one?

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who were Raven's parents?
Who were Coyote's parents?
Who were Anasi's parents?

Greg responds...

Who are your parents?

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Oberon writes...

1)You saud that Queen Mab was insane but was she when she ruled over the third race?
2)Did Mab have a husband?
3) If so, was he king, or beneith Mab
4) Was Oberon's fathre Mab's husband?

Greg responds...

1. Oh, yeah.

2. What only one?

3. Nothing's that simple.

4. See above.

Response recorded on May 08, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

This one's not really smart assed, but still amusing:
Question-
We definitely know that the Illuminati, and particularly Percival/Duval, would have been major antagonists for "Pendragon". Now that the "Arthurian survivors" contest is over, could you tell us now what other recurring antagonists you had planned for Arthur and Griff?

Greg responds...

Ask me later, but with more style.

Greg responds...

Sometimes I just type anything, huh?

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Siren writes...

The Fox/Titania controversy...
In the script for The Gathering, were the words that they spoke written out or was it just "psst psst..."?

Greg responds...

I guess if I wanted to start a bidding war on my copy of the script, I should answer, "The Former". :)

But I don't.

Unless we're talking BIG money.

Now what am I bid?

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Sapphire writes...

Oh Greg the episode Metamorphisis was pretty cool the mutagen thing and all. Do you know in reality how they do gene transference between different organisms like the gene tranference between Derek and a panther, electric eel and bat. Viruses they insert genes into viruses and inject them into a creature where the viruses insert the foreign genes into the creatures DNA and it usually takes 5 months for the creature's DNA to accept the foreign genes as opposed to the 2 days in the episode Metamorphisis. Also there is also a high risk that the immune system would gobble up the mutagen plus the body also gets rid of cells that are mutated so in reality if a mad scientist ever injected you with a mutagen containing the DNA of animals your immune system would destroy the mutagen or the cells that has been mutated

Greg responds...

Oh, sure. But, uh, Sevarius compensated for that with something that temporarily weakens the immune system.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Dexter writes...

Hey, I a question about Angela (big shock there)
(1) Do you think she'd ever be interested in playing guitar or any other type of musical intsrument? I mean, I guess the only-having-4-fingers thing might make that a little hard, but whatever.

(2)What about art? She seems like an art chic to me...at least an art buff if not an artist.

(3) How does she keep that skimpy outfit so clean? You'd think all that running around in a tan jumpsuit would get a girl dirty! heh heh

Greg responds...

This is the time on Schrpockets when we dance.

Response recorded on May 04, 2001

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Jason Barnett writes...

I know you've repeatedly stated that Peter Maza's connection to Coyote doesn't make his kids Fey but does it affect them at all? Perhaps shifting luck to their favor. Being turned into a bat-winged panther might seem unlucky but Derek wouldn't have met Maggie. Elisa lost an incredible amount of blood but still managed to survive being shot.

Greg responds...

I don't think so. But maybe Coyote would disagree.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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LSZ writes...

Why was Azrael of the Avalon clan named Azrael by the Magus et all? It seems to be a Muslim(and possibly Jewish, unsure) Angel name, not even a vaguely Christian one..why did they choose it?

Greg responds...

You try to come up with 36 angel names, huh?

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

How do Nokkar's people reproduce?

Greg responds...

Behind closed doors.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Anonymous writes...

Who is Fiona?

Greg responds...

Not Nought.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Todd Jensen writes...

In the list of characters' ages that you printed just now to Mel Celestial (from King Arthur all the way down to Thailog), you included a certain "Fiona". Who is she? I don't recall anyone by that name in the series.

Greg responds...

Really?

Must be a reason for that, don't you think?

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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matt writes...

i just watched "City of Stone Pt. 1" and i thought of something strange. Demona's spell steals one minute of life from all that see and hear it, right? i just can't imagine that Xanatos or Owen would believe this! i did the calculations and found that Demona would have to cast the spell on 525 million people to live a thousand years!!! 525,000,000!!!!! thats a TON of people. i know a thousand years is a long time to cast spells, but lets say that she casts this spell on a crowd of an average of 50 people, if the spell takes 30 seconds to cast she spent about 10 years of her life casting this spell!!! 10 YEARS constantly repeating this incantation!! yes, i know she didn't do all these spells in a row, i'm just putting it into perspective... another 500 years she was sleeping in stone, she certaintly wouldn't have alot of free time. she would've had to cast this spell on about 30 people a day, for a thousand years!! i understand that since Demona was lying none of this really matters, but what bugs me is that Xanatos and Owen so easily believed her. maybe Xanatos isn't as smart as we think, eh?

Greg responds...

Maybe he's just less anal than you.

Response recorded on May 02, 2001

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Axem Gold writes...

I read the question asking you where Demona got those other Gargoyles in City of Stone. You replied say she got them in Walmart. Just one thing, did she buy them or steal them.

Greg responds...

I am now supposed to give a smart-ass response to a smart-ass response to one of my smart-ass responses.

This kind of thing is illegal in most states.

(Sorry, best I could come up with.)

Response recorded on April 09, 2001

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Aaron writes...

My favorite smart ass responses.

<<Demona Taina writes...

1. Where did Demona get those gargoyles from in "City Of Stone"?

Greg responds...

1. Wall-mart.>>

Which was funny enough when I read it as Walmart, but then I realized just what a terrible pun it is...

and...

<<Aaron writes...

Y'know, it's amazing how many of my questions seem to end up in the Smart Ass Responses category.

Greg responds...

It's also amazing how many of my responses end up in that category. I wonder why that is? >>

Sigh.

I haven't asked you about the Magus' given name lately, have I?

Greg responds...

I have nothing funny to say.

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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matt writes...

517- enlisted

if this is wrong, i'll do something tragic... kidding! i've just been trying to figure out 517 and 74 all day!!! i have no life!!

Greg responds...

Don't get tragic. But don't get a life either 'til you've solved this. Cause you haven't yet. :P

Response recorded on April 08, 2001

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Duncan Devlin writes...

In the Guatemala episode, Jackal carved his face into Goliath's in his dream. If a person were to do this to a Gargoyle and he woke up at dusk, what would happen?

Greg responds...

Nothing nice.

Response recorded on April 08, 2001


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