"Hunter's Moon" Memo #4B

And here is the rest of the 4th Hunter's Moon Memo...

Michael, the above represents my ideal Part Two. I think it paces down nicely from Part One, (and you'll note that the changes it requires to Part One are negligible). The Elisa/Jason relationship is allowed to build in a more natural, slower and step-by-step manner. Then it ends as planned, topping anything we've ever done before by blowing up the clocktower. I have two (probably obvious) concerns. One minor, one not so. The minor concern is that the middle is pretty talky for a stand alone episode. Not much we can do about that and still have all three parts play as one piece. So I vote to make each talk-scene as tight as possible, playing up the tension in the middle and otherwise not to sweat this minor concern. The major concern is that it's probably too long for one twenty-two minute episode. If I was being honest, it feels to me like we've got four acts worth of material instead of three. Call me about this either way. If you feel you can fit it in then go for it. If not, here's plan B:

PART ONE CHANGES:
Beat #12 would have to end with the following:
It's only after injuring Angela that the Hunters seem to realize that Angela is not the "demon" they've been hunting. Not that they're remorseful -- just surprised that Demona is NOT the last surviving member of her evil race -- as they had always been taught. Hunter/Robyn says this revelation explains the reports of numerous sightings of gargoyles in the Manhattan area, which is what brought them to town in the first place. Hunter/Jason is furious that the "demons" escaped and determined to hunt them down and exterminate them all. Hunter/Jon questions whether this is the correct course. They know the "demon" is evil. But these other gargoyles might not be. Hunter/Jason quickly and semi-violently reprimands his compatriot. As far as he's concerned the only good gargoyle is a dead gargoyle. And the only consolation from tonight's fiasco is that he's pretty sure he nailed one of them.

And at the beginning of beat13:
The trio and Bronx are already there when Hudson, Goliath and Angela make it back to the clock tower. They are horrified to see Angela's condition.

PART TWO CHANGES:
ACT ONE
Beat 14:
Should end on the Hunter's tirade about wiping every last gargoyle off the face of the earth -- not on Demona gliding away.

Beat 15:
Cut.

Beat 16:
Cut.

Beats 17:
Basically picks up where the revised beat 13 left off, with the trio already there and Angela dying. This beat is combined with beat 18 to form one uninterrupted beat. No act breaks.

Beat 18:
This beat is combined with beat 17 to form one uninterrupted beat. No Act Break. Also, just before the gargoyles turn to stone, Elisa would promise to find out everything she can.

Beat 19:
(Stay with me, 'cause this is complicated.) If there's room for beats 20 and 24 to stay as two separate beats, then beat 19 can stay the same. If not beat 19 can be cut here to show up later at beat 23A.

Beat 20:
If there's room for beats 20 and 24 to stay as two separate beats, then beat 20 can stay the same. If not beat 20 can be cut here and combined with beat 24.

Beat 21:
No change.

Beat 22:
Mostly stays the same, but at the end of the beat, we'd need to show the container of D/I-7 and the Borgia Tablet at Nightstone.

Beat 23:
No change.

Beat 23A:
Only necessary if you are combining beats 20 and 24. This is the former Beat 19. Elisa comes down stairs to find Matt (who would now just be coming on-shift as opposed to off). Matt's talking to reporter Jon. Elisa runs out alone. Jason follows her.

Beat 24:
No change, unless you need to combine it with beat 20 to save more space. If so, it combines as follows....
Outside by Elisa's car, Jason catches up to her. He can tell she's upset: "You didn't rush us out of there just so you wouldn't have to answer questions about gargoyles." Of course not, she replies. Gargoyles? Are you kidding? How silly. She's about to get in her car, but he puts a hand on her arm and stops her gently, but firmly: "Then what is it?" She hesitates, then tells him that a dear friend was violently attacked recently. She came very close to dying. He asks if they know who did it? No, not yet, and she feels so... so... He knows what she means before she can say it: "You feels frustrated. Helpless. You wants to nail the guy who hurt your friend." That's it, she says. That's it exactly. How did he know? Because he's been there. He's still there. She looks at him. He asks how her friend is doing now. Elisa says something like no news is good news, I'm sure she's all right. Jason: "And what about you? Are you all right?" She says sure, don't worry about me. I'm a rock. Feeling awkward, he turns to go. She hesitates, then surprises herself by asking if he's free for dinner. He considers it. Actually, there was something he was supposed to do, but...sure. He'd love to.

Beat 25:
After Goliath witnesses the kiss, we fade to black and end the act.

ACT TWO
Beat 25A:
Picks up where we left off and finishes out the former Beat 25.

Beat 26:
Instead of the blimp, Goliath finds and heads for the Hunter's High-Tech airship.

Beat 27:
Goliath, Lex and Brooklyn breaks into the airship. No immediate sign of a trap, but they soon runs into Demona inside the airship on a similar errand to erradicate the Hunters. This beat is combined with beat 28 to form one uninterrupted beat. No Act Break.

Beat 28:
This beat is combined with beat 27 to form one uninterrupted beat. No Act Break in between them. Demona is surprised to see Goliath, who physically attacks her demanding to know her connection to the Hunters. She tries to explain that she is their prey. But he doesn't listen. At least he doesn't listen until all four gargoyles are captured by Hunter/Jon and Hunter/Robyn. Act Break.

ACT THREE
Beat 28A:
The Hunters are waiting for their leader to show up. They imprison the gargoyles, (and Hunter/Robyn has the opportunity to plant a homing device on Goliath, though we don't know that she's done this yet). They leave them alone in their cells, giving Demona a chance to explain that the Hunters are gargoyle-haters who first appeared in the 11th century. They destroyed the last clan of gargoyles in Scotland. Only Demona escaped, and the Hunters have been hounding her ever since. Goliath tells Demona that the Hunters nearly killed their daughter Angela. Demona burns with cold fury. As much as she hates Goliath, Demona refuses to let the Hunters slay even one more gargoyle. She offers to help them escape. Goliath doesn't want escape, he wants vengeance. Finally, Goliath is sounding like a true gargoyle to Demona. Unfortunately, he's also sounding like an idiot. Vengeance will come, she promises that. But now they've lost the element of surprise on the Hunter's home turf. They must escape. And somehow, by working together, they do, seemingly taking out Hunter/Robyn and Hunter/Jon in the process.

Beat 28B:
Safely outside the airship, Demona is pleased. Perhaps she and Goliath are not so far apart. Perhaps not, Goliath agrees grimly. Demona veers away. Brooklyn cannot believe that Goliath is just letting her go. But Goliath: "She was not our enemy tonight." Oh, yeah?! What about the D/I-7? We'll worry about that later. Let's go home. They veer off for home. Time cut.

Beat 29:
Time has passed. Hunter/Jason has arrived on the airship and has clearly just been filled in on the night's events: "You LET them escape?!!" (We are beginning to see distinctions between the Hunters' personalities. Hunter/Jason is the fiery, passionate leader. Hunter/Robyn is coldly efficient. Hunter/Jon has some major doubts and is definitely not into this as much as the other two.) Hunter/Jason is furious that H/Jon and H/Robyn let the gargoyles escape -- particularly the "demon". That was the best chance yet to destroy them. Hunter/Jon still isn't sure that they're doing the right thing. They heard the gargoyle's in-cell discussion. The only reason they're attacking us is because we hurt the big one's daughter last night. H/Jon even suspects that the "demon" and the other gargoyles were at odds until our opposition united them. If we hadn't attacked them, they might have even been our allies against the "demon". Hunter/Jason can't believe his ears. He turns to Hunter/Robyn. He knew their brother had some weird ideas, but what's the story with her. She calmly points to images of Brooklyn and Lex on a monitor screen. These are new gargoyles. Different from the ones they faced last night. There's no telling how many more there might be. They had to allow these gargoyles to escape so that they could follow them back to their lair, otherwise we could waste our whole lives tracking them down. Hunter/Jason: So what? It was good enough for our father. H/Jason doesn't care how long it takes to exterminate this evil race of monsters. Hunter/Robyn comments wryly that she'd rather get it over with tonight, if H/Jason doesn't mind. H/Jason calms down a bit. So what's the plan?

Beat 30:
This changes completely. Goliath, Lex and Brooklyn arrive at the clock tower. Everyone else is already there. Goliath tells the others that the Hunters have been dealt a major blow. Brooklyn and Lex exchange concerned glances.

Beat 31:
Inside the airship, the trio of Hunters have locked onto Goliath's homing signal. Hunter/Jason is a bit concerned that they didn't plant a homing device on Demona. But Hunter/Robyn believes that the demon would never have let her touch her without noticing the plant. Besides Hunter/Robyn is confident she knows where to find the "demon". They track Goliath's signal to the clock tower. They know it's above the precinct house and may even be impressed that the gargoyles were clever enough to hide in such plain sight. H/Jason prepares to go in. H/Robyn stops him and begins to activate weapon systems instead. There could be a clan of thirty or forty gargoyles in there. H/Jon doubts if there's more than six. He can't believe what she's preparing to do. There's a building full of people in there. She's confident she can target the tower with some precision. A squeamish H/Jon fumfers, but suggests they wait a couple hours until sunrise. The gargoyles will be stone and can easily be destroy then . But H/Robyn shakes her head. We cannot count on that. She puts a picture of Demona on a monitor screen, side-by-side with a picture of Dominique. She then uses a sophisticated computer program to demonstrate that Demona/Dominique are one and the same person. Dominique has never been seen after dark, and since no one's ever spotted a gargoyle in broad daylight, H/Robyn correctly surmises that the "demon" transforms into Dominique every morning at sunrise. H/Jason wants to know how this is possible? H/Robyn shrugs. How is it possible that the demon has lived as long as she has? The obvious answer is sorcery, and if Demona/Dominique has shared this sorcery with the other gargoyles, then they could easily sneak out of the precinct house in the morning disguised as humans, and we'd never find them. H/Jon is still against the still unstated plan. Both turn to H/Jason for his final decision. Do it, he says. But let's make sure that none of them escape. It ends tonight.

Beat 32:
No change.

Beat 33:
No change.

Beat 34:
Lex notices the homing device stuck to Goliath's skin. Quick cut.

Beat 35:
No change.

Beat 36:
No change.

Hunter's Moon Memo #4A

In anticipation of my ramble on "Hunter's Moon, Part Two", here is the first half of Memo #4 from back in the day...

"But wait!" you're asking, "What happened to Memo #3?!" Well, I have it -- on paper. But not on my computer for some reason, and I don't have either a scanner or the time to type it up afresh. So you'll have to settle for jumping ahead to Memo #4. This is my beat sheet breakdown on the first two parts of Hunter's Moon.

The whole memo was too long for one post, it seems, so I'll be posting the second half shortly.

WEISMAN 7-16-95

Notes on "Hunter's Moon" Outline...
Please note that any changes to the Beat Sheet for Part One will be in bold type.

BEAT SHEET
PART ONE
ACT ONE
1. PROLOGUE - SCOTLAND, 994 -- HUNTER'S MOON
We open with YOUNG GILLECOMGAIN confronting DEMONA (in either new footage or re-use from "City of Stone, Part One"). Very mysterioso at first. Then we realize that Demona is simply scavenging for food in Gille's barn. He surprises her and winds up scarred for life. She leaves.
Continue the scene. Hearing Gille's screams, GILLECOMGAIN'S FATHER comes rushing into the barn after Demona has left. He is largely unsympathetic, even a bit of a jerk toward his son. He sees the scratch marks and tells his son to suck it up, basically. It sounds to him like his son was attacked by a gargoyle looking for food. But Gille insists it was a "demon". And swears that she will pay along with her entire evil race.

MANHATTAN, 1996. - NIGHT ONE
2. A blonde woman (SALLI ROBERTSON actually ELISA MAZA in disguise) is alone on a subway platform. A real seedy place. Very scary. Suddenly a THUG appears out of the shadows. Invades her personal space. She tries to move cautiously away, but a SECOND THUG cuts her off. And then a THIRD, a FOURTH, a FIFTH. They don't attack her, but they do seem to be taking some real sadistic pleasure in intimidating the hell out of her. All are wearing long trenchcoats, which might or might not conceal weapons.
The subway finally comes. She gets onto a car which is sparsely populated by an OLD LADY, BRENDAN & MARGOT, a burly WORKER, etc. And we think she's safe, but at the last second the thugs also enter the car. The subway exits the station.
As the train races through dark tunnels, the thugs pull out Xanatos/Dracon particle beam weapons and demand all valuables. (Major overkill on the part of the thugs.) Maybe the burly worker gets brave, and although Salli tries to stop him, he gets hurt (but not shot) for his pains.
The train exits the tunnel onto elevated tracks. And to make a long explanation short, this is where the gargoyles (GOLIATH, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY and ANGELA) get involved. The fast-moving el-train should add to the challenge of stopping five heavily-armed thugs. At a crucial moment, Salli/Elisa should slam Thug #1, who had a bead on Goliath. She pulls off the blonde wig, revealing herself, saying that she doesn't like anyone messing with her best friend in the world. Everyone is saved. Though as usual, the passengers are more afraid of the gargoyles than the thugs. The gargoyles leave the moving train just before the next stop, promising to touch base with Elisa later. The train pulls in. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN and other COPS are waiting, (they've been trying to catch this gang of thugs for weeks). Matt (who knows about the gargoyles) sees the unconcious thugs, and says something like, "Had a little help, did we?" "No more than usual," she replies with a smile. Or something like that.

3. We catch up with the gargoyles in flight, who are pretty proud of themselves. Even Goliath. They've gotten this protection thing down. Stopping evil stone cold, etc. They glide in for a landing at the clock tower. HUDSON and BRONX welcome them back. Hudson fusses a bit as Brooklyn has a very minor injury from the subway encounter. But Brooklyn considers it a badge of honor, and besides the stone hibernation will heal him. Life is sweet. The sun rises and they all turn to stone. (Play this up for the video audience -- it's still one of our coolest trademarks.)

4. Downstairs in the precinct house a bit later, CAPTAIN CHAVEZ informs Elisa that she's being reassigned to the dayshift to show a new detective the ropes. Both Elisa and Matt protest. Why break up a good team? (Elisa's simultaneously thinking of Matt and her nighttime-only forays with Goliath and the gargoyles.) Chavez tells her it's temporary and in any case it wasn't a request. The new detective enters. It's JASON CONOVER. He's a big, rugged guy. Sort of a human Goliath. Elisa and Jason size each other up. And though neither would say it yet, they like what they see. At any rate, Matt notices that Elisa has suddenly stopped protesting the reassignment.

5. Dayshift with Elisa and Jason. She's showing him the city in her Fairlane. She asks him about himself. But he's subtly evasive and keeps turning the conversation back toward her. In particular asking what it's like to be a cop in the Big Apple. He's heard some weird stuff about alligators in the sewers and other urban myths. She smiles. She could tell him stories.

Suddenly, there's an explosion at a nearby XANATOS ENTERPRISES chemical storage warehouse on the East River. They call it in, head over, and it looks like they've caught two MASKED THIEVES who each have their hands full carrying containers of stolen chemicals marked D/I-7. They order the thieves to put down the containers, which they do. But the thieves had BACK-UP, and now it's Jason and Elisa who appear to be surrounded and in big trouble. It looks bad, and there ain't gonna be any gargoyle rescue at high noon.

ACT TWO
6. Jason doesn't hesitate. He shoots one of the chemical containers. It blows up and in the resulting chaos, the thieves grab the remaining container and take off in an unmarked panel truck. Elisa and Jason pursue in her car. Cool car chase. He's as impressed with her driving as she is with his shooting. All done fearlessly while under fire from the bad guys. Point is, they make a good team. Anyway, the good guys eventually capture all the bad guys (except THIEF #1, who escapes) and confiscate the D/I-7 without knowing what the theft was all about.

7. NIGHTSTONE UNLIMITED. It's twilight. Company president DOMINIQUE DESTINE is interviewing for a new personal assistant. The candidate is one ROBYN CORREY, who immediately impresses Dominique with her Owen-like efficiency and smarts. A man enters who we may or may not recognize as Thief #1. He's about to start blabbing in front of Robyn, but Dominique tells him to shut up and wait. Dominique turns to Correy and tells her she has the job. Correy is prepared to start right this minute if necessary. She's not afraid of long hours and happy to work nights with the boss if that's required. Dominique smiles. Correy may indeed work nights, but Dominique never does. She needs her beauty sleep. Robyn can start first thing in the morning. Correy exits and Dominique and the thief open a secret panel into a high-tech command center. The thief lets Dominique know that they didn't get the D/I-7. She's furious and comes close to doing something really nasty to him. But through a large (one-way) bay window she sees that the sun is about to set. She tells him he's lucky to work for such a kind employer and kicks him out. Well, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. The sun sets and Dominique transforms into DEMONA.

ACT THREE
8. At the clock tower, Elisa arrives just as the sun sets on our gargoyles. They EXPLODE out of their stone shell. A sight that still impresses her no matter how many times she sees it. (Again, play up this series trademark for the video audience. Also make a point of showing that Brooklyn's minor injury is healed.) Elisa fills the gargoyles in on the attempted chemical theft. She speaks highly of Jason, and when Goliath notes that she seems highly impressed with her new partner, she stumbles all over herself to say that he's just o.k. Even she doesn't yet know why she got so flustered. But it doesn't escape Goliath's notice or Hudson's or Angela's. Elisa's just finished working a double shift and has to head home for some sleep, but she's afraid that whoever was behind the theft might try again tonight. Either at the same East River warehouse or at another one on the upper westside where computer records show Xanatos also keeps D/I-7. The gargoyles agree to split up and stake out both locations. But Goliath is suspicious. If Xanatos is involved.... Elisa knows exactly what he means. She wanted to question Xanatos herself, but (because Elisa is admittedly irrational in her hatred of Xanatos) Chavez said no and sent Matt instead.

NIGHT TWO
9. At the Eyrie Building, Matt is almost done questioning XANATOS about the theft. Xanatos is clearly more interested in playing with his baby son ALEXANDER, than in answering Matt's questions. He has no idea why anyone would want to steal this particular chemical. D/I-7 is a potent concentrated disinfectant, newly invented by Xanatos Enterprises, but hardly worth stealing unless you have a very big and very dirty house that needs cleaning. Matt's sure Xanatos is hiding something, but leaves when OWEN enters with Xanatos' next appointment: newspaper reporter JON CARTER. Xanatos hands Alexander over to Owen and tours his castle with Carter. (Note: Owen still has a stone fist. He can either keep it in his pocket or not. I don't care, but don't forget about it.) Carter asks Xanatos about the castle and the gargoyles that were part of the itemized price. Xanatos says something about them not suiting his aesthetic tastes and having them destroyed. Carter questions whether Xanatos would really destroy such ancient works of art. Xanatos: "If you brought them in front of me now, I'd pulverize them to dust right here." Carter asks about the gargoyle urban myths that have everyone in New York claiming that their best friend's uncle's dentist has seen real live gargoyles. Xanatos comments that he thought the only paper interested in that kind of "scoop" was The Daily Tattler. Somewhere in here, before he leaves, Jon drops his pencil and picks it up.
After the reporter's exit, Xanatos and Owen watch a replay of Jon Carter's little pencil drop which was picked up by hidden camera. They see that he picked up a sliver of stone -- most probably a left-over piece of exfoliated gargoyle stone. Xanatos takes his baby from Owen and says something like: "This Mr. Carter could cause a bit of trouble for our old friend Goliath." At this point it's ambiguous whether Xanatos is pleased about this or not.

10. Goliath, Hudson and Angela are staked out across from the East River Xanatos warehouse that the thieves hit earlier that day. A high-tech flying vehicle arrives on the scene and three figures leap out of it (two male and one female). Each wears a black mask with three stylized red slash marks painted diagonally across it. The masks completely obscures their faces, but we'll soon learn that these are the three HUNTERS (HUNTER/JASON, HUNTER/ROBYN and HUNTER/JON). The gargoyles assume that these are the thieves and attack, Angela impetuously taking the lead. The Hunters (whose voices are electronically filtered by their masks so that we don't immediately recognize them) are strangely not surprised to see the female gargoyle Angela (who they at first mistake for Demona) but are very surprised to see Goliath and Hudson. They thought there was only one "demon" left alive. No matter. They'll destroy them all. The battle is joined.

11. Cut to the second warehouse on the westside, where Brooklyn leads Broadway, Lex and Bronx on a second stakeout. Demona breaks in to steal the D/I-7, leaving tell-tale claw marks at the break in point. She wasn't expecting to see the gargoyles, but she's not unprepared for a fight. It's quite a battle, but Demona manages to get away with one container of D/I-7. (I'll leave the details to you, Michael.)

12. Back to first East River warehouse. A furious battle between Hunters and "prey". Hunters seem completely prepared to fight gargoyles specifically. Angela is very badly injured, and Goliath and Hudson are barely able to escape with her. It's only after injuring Angela that the Hunters seem to realize that Angela is not the "demon" they've been hunting. Not that they're remorseful -- just surprised that Demona is NOT the last surviving member of her evil race -- as they had always been taught. Hunter/Jason is furious that the "demons" escaped and determined to hunt them down and exterminate them all.

13. Hudson, Goliath and Angela make it back to the clock tower. Angela's in a bad way. If she can make it to dawn, she'll be healed by the transformation to stone. But dawn is hours away. It doesn't look good. We've NEVER seen Goliath so angry. (Which doesn't mean he's over the top. It can be internalized to the point of near-combustibility, but we need to know how deep the fury goes.) Hudson tries to calm him down. But Goliath swears that he will hunt down these Hunters. And he will KILL them.
END PART ONE

PART TWO
ACT ONE
14. PROLOGUE - FLORENCE, 1496 A.D. - HUNTER'S MOON
Demona steals an already ancient MYSTIC TABLET from the home of the BORGIAS, only to be pursued by a RENAISSANCE-ERA HUNTER, hunting the last of the "demons". He wears a version of the stylized Hunter's mask, wields an impressive cross-bow and other weapons and chases after Demona in a flying machine designed by LEONARDO DA VINCI. We have a cool action sequence, but Demona ultimately cripples the Hunter's "vehicle" and escapes with the Borgia tablet. The Hunter shouts after her that the battle isn't over. His family has hunted her across generations for 500 years. If he fails, then his son will take up the hunt. And his son's son. It may take another five hundred years, but the Hunt won't end until the last of the gargoyles is wiped off the face of the earth. We watch as Demona glides off in the distance and RIPPLE DISSOLVE TO:

MANHATTAN, 1996. - NIGHT TWO (CONTINUED)
15. Demona carrying the container of D/I-7 glides in for a landing at her Gramercy Park Mansion. She enters her study and places the chemical container next to the Borgia tablet. It's taken her 500 years but her plan to destroy the hated humans is finally coming to fruition. Now she must prepare for the coming day. "Dominique" has much to do before the Hunter's Moon.

16. We're at what appears to be the gutted shell of a condemned tenement building in the South Bronx. The Hunters' high-tech vehicle flies in and we realize that what appeared to be urban decay on the outside is actually an elaborate camouflage for the high-tech Hunter's Lair. The Hunters disembark (but do not remove their masks). We begin to see distinctions in their personalities. Hunter/Jason is the fiery, passionate leader. Hunter/Robyn is coldly efficient. Hunter/Jon is definitely not into this as much as the other two. Hunter/Robyn immediately checks their computers. Police radio calls indicate that while they were at Xanatos' East River warehouse, D/I-7 was stolen from Xanatos' upper westside warehouse. Probably by the "demon" herself. Hunter/Jason is frustrated that they missed a perfect chance to destroy the "demon". But all of them are still stunned at tonight's discovery that Demona is NOT the last surviving member of her evil race -- as they had always been taught. Hunter/Robyn says this revelation explains the reports of numerous sightings of gargoyles in the Manhattan area, which is what brought them to town in the first place. Hunter/Jason is determined to hunt down every last one, but Hunter/Jon questions whether this is the correct course. They know the "demon" is evil. But these other gargoyles might not be. Hunter/Jason quickly and semi-violently reprimands his compatriot. As far as he's concerned the only good gargoyle is a dead gargoyle. And the only consolation from tonight's fiasco is that he's pretty sure he nailed one of them.

17. At the clock tower, the trio come in for a landing with Bronx. Before they're through the clockface door they're already calling inside about how Demona got away with the D/I-7. But they shut up fast when they see the grim situation inside. Angela's bandaged up, but she's having trouble breathing, and it's very touch and go. Goliath tells her to hold on. Sunrise will come soon and heal her. But Angela's not going to make it until then. She suddenly goes into cardiac arrest. She has stopped breathing, and her heart has stopped beating.

ACT TWO
18. Suddenly Elisa is there, pushing past the other gargoyles to perform CPR on Angela, saving her life. It's pre-dawn now, just enough time to fill Elisa in on the Hunters and Demona. Just enough time for Goliath to reiterate his vow of vengeance against the Hunters. And then everyone turns to stone in a tableau around Angela. A disturbed Elisa is left alone to head downstairs.

19. Down in the precinct house, reporter Jon Carter is questioning Matt Bluestone (who's just coming off shift) about gargoyle sightings. (Including maybe witness reports of gargoyles helping to bust up the subway bandits the night before and/or breaking into a Xanatos warehouse last night.) Matt tells the reporter he doesn't believe in gargoyles -- but U.F.O.'s on the other hand, now Matt has plenty of theories about them. (Did you know the statues on Easter Island were modeled after space aliens?) Elisa sees her new partner Detective Jason Conover watching with some amusement as Matt makes a fool of the reporter. She grabs Jason and marches him out the door. She's in no mood to sit for an interview right now, and besides, they have a crime scene to investigate.

20. As Elisa drives across town in her Fairlane, Jason can tell she's upset: "You didn't rush us out of there just so you wouldn't have to answer questions about gargoyles." Of course not, she replies. Gargoyles? Are you kidding? How silly. They pull over in front of Xanatos' westside warehouse. She's about to get out of the car, but he puts a hand on her arm and stops her gently, but firmly: "Then what is it?" She hesitates, then tells him that a dear friend was violently attacked recently. She came very close to dying. He asks if they know who did it? No, not yet, and she feels so... so... He knows what she means before she can say it: "You feels frustrated. Helpless. You wants to nail the guy who hurt your friend." That's it, she says. That's it exactly. How did he know? Because he's been there. He's still there. She looks at him. Then they get out of the car and go inside.

21. Inside the westside warehouse crime scene, Owen is taking inventory of what was stolen. Elisa sends Jason to check the point of entry, so that she can speak to Owen alone. She's hostile. She suspects Xanatos of being in cahoots with Demona. Owen attempts to assure her that Xanatos has had no contact with Demona, and that in fact Xanatos still feels he owes Goliath a debt of gratitude for helping save his son Alexander. If there's any way that either Owen or Mr. Xanatos could be of assistance... No, thanks. She's had enough of Xanatos' help to last a lifetime. (Now, ironically, Owen is telling the truth. But he should relate it all in such a superior Owenesque manner, and Elisa should respond to it with such incredible suspicion and contempt that Elisa and our audience will be quite convinced that Xanatos is -- as usual -- up to no good. And for his part, Owen doesn't care if Elisa feels that way.)

Jason calls Elisa over. He's found a set of Demona's clawmarks at the point of illegal entry and asks Elisa what she makes of them. Elisa plays dumb. Jason comments that they look like claw marks. But what could be strong enough to leave clawmarks in solid stone?

22. Nightstone Unlimited, bio-labs. Dominique introduces her assistant Robyn Correy to Nightstone chief scientist DOCTOR ANTON SEVARIUS. He's demonstrating a new CARRIER VIRUS. Extremely contagious, very-fast acting, but harmless. (It'd be great if we could demonstrate this in some visual way that doesn't totally tip our hand.) Dominique tells her assistant that the virus can be molecularly bonded with curative medicines and thus be used to counteract epidemics. Robyn points out that it could just as easily be bonded with a disease and cause the epidemic in the first place. There's an uncomfortable moment of silence, but Robyn does not seem upset by the prospect she's outlined. "Either way," she continues, "A most profitable endeavor." Sevarius and Dominique exchange a glance, and Dominique smiles at her new assistant: "I think you're going to fit in just fine."

23. Sunset at the clocktower and the gargoyles EXPLODE from stone. Everyone's first concern is for Angela. She's all healed. Maybe just a bit tired still. Goliath is still determined to get vengeance on the Hunters. The other gargoyles agree, including Angela. Goliath is concerned for her, but she doesn't want any kid glove treatment. She's the one that they hurt. She wants her chance for revenge too. At the moment, this is logic that makes sense to Goliath. They split up in groups of two (Broadway & Angela, Lex & Brooklyn, Hudson & Bronx) to search for the Hunters. (And yes, Goliath is conspicuously without a partner.) Goliath gives strict orders not to engage them in battle. Find them and come back to report. All the gargoyles leave. And a few seconds later, Elisa comes up the stairs to find the tower empty.

NIGHT THREE
24. Outside by Elisa's car, Jason catches up to her. He asks if there's any word on her friend. Elisa says something like no news is good news, I'm sure she's all right. Jason: "And what about you? Are you all right?" She says sure, don't worry about me. I'm a rock. Feeling awkward, he turns to go. She hesitates, then surprises herself by asking if he's free for dinner. He considers it. Actually, there was something he was supposed to do, but...sure. He'd love to.

25. Elisa and Jason arrive at her apartment. Elisa didn't feel up to facing a crowded restaurant. Besides, she has one of the best stocked refrigerators in the county. (With a friend like Broadway, it's safer.) She brings him a soda in the living room, spills it, etc. They kiss. A soul kiss, as Joe Jackson would say. (And that's when we see Goliath, watching the whole thing from Elisa's rooftop terrace window. He's just standing there like he's been hit in the head by a brick and expects another brick to come along any time now.) Elisa pulls away from Jason. What's wrong, he wants to know? Well, we're partners for one thing. He doesn't buy that excuse. That's a temporary assignment. In a week, she'll be back on the night shift with Bluestone. She doesn't respond. Jason asks if there is someone else? She says yes, but then after a long, long pause, she changes her answer to no. (And for Goliath, that would be brick #2. He glides away.) Jason is really sympathetic. He realizes he's been rushing things. He also realizes that he hadn't known how lonely he had been until he met Elisa. But he knows she's vulnerable now because of her "injured friend". He doesn't want to take advantage. He leaves Elisa alone -- and more confused than ever.

26. Goliath is gliding through the sky, and as he comes around a building, he can't help but spot a big black blimp with three huge red claw marks painted across it. (Note: this is not the Hunters' Hi-tech airship. This is a blimp, Gothic in design, but slow-moving and relatively low-tech.) Goliath's not the only one to spot it. Lex and Brooklyn glide up along side him. Brooklyn assumes that Goliath is going to want to go back to the clocktower for the others, as planned. But Goliath's in no mood to be patient. He glides toward the large undercarriage cabin; Brook and Lex follow.

27. Goliath glides alongside an outer cabin door, digs his talons into it and rips it off. (It plummets down and lands on VINNIE, the guy who once hit Goliath with a banana cream pie. Vinnie gets a concussion. Spends a few years in physical therapy and then begins to hunt Goliath with a hot fudge sundae. No, just kidding.) The three gargoyles enter the cabin. As soon as they do, a laser grid activates, covering the doorless entrance with pinpoint beams. No one's in the cabin, and all three realize it's some kind of a trap. An explosive one, as Lex points out. The laser grid is hooked up to a whole lot of plastique. If the light from any of the laser beams on the grid is interrupted, the blimp blows to kingdom come. They cannot exit. (Make it clear that the rest of the hull and even "windshield" is beyond their ability to pierce.) Brooklyn: It's a flying roach motel, and we're the roaches. "Very astute," says Demona, who glides up alongside the open door.

ACT THREE
28. Goliath demands to know Demona's connection to the Hunters. "I'm their prey," she says. We all are. She explains that the Hunters are gargoyle-haters who first appeared in the 11th century. They destroyed the last clan of gargoyles in Scotland. Only Demona escaped, and the Hunters have been hounding her ever since. Goliath tells Demona that the Hunters nearly killed their daughter Angela. Demona burns with cold fury. As much as she hates Goliath, Demona refuses to let the Hunters slay even one more gargoyle. She offers to help. Lex is tearing down control panels. The blimp's clearly being operated by remote control. He can't figure out why the Hunters haven't blown them up already. Brooklyn suggests that maybe they don't want to blow the blimp up while it's still flying over a city full of people, which may also explain why the blimp is already heading slow but steady toward the river. Lex needs more time. Demona buys it for him. She glides up to the blimp's rudder and physically forces it to turn back toward the city. Inside, Lex is recrossing wires, etc. Very tense. One wrong choice and that's all she wrote. Finally, he's got it licked. Now he controls the explosives and the blimp. Goliath wants to know if he can figure out where the remote signal was coming from. Lex can't name the location, but he can send the blimp there. Make it so, says Goliath.

29. In their faux-tenement H.Q., Hunter/Jason enters the control room, apologizing for being late. Hunter/Jon and Hunter/Robyn are already there, studying monitor screens that show various angles on the blimp and the gargoyles. Hunter/Jason sees Demona on a monitor. It's the "demon". Blow the blimp up now; Demona's gliding too close to escape the explosion. Hunter/Jon says it's too late. They've lost control of the blimp. Then why did you wait? Because the blimp was still over the city! So what?! Hunter/Jason is furious that Hunter/Jon missed their best chance yet. He turns to Hunter/Robyn. He knew their brother was a softie, but what's the story with her. She calmly points to Brooklyn and Lex on another monitor screen. These are new gargoyles. Different from the ones they faced last night. There's no telling how many more there might be. They have to allow these gargoyles to escape so that they can follow them back to their lair, otherwise we could waste our whole lives tracking them down. Hunter/Jason: So what? It was good enough for our father. He doesn't care how long it takes to exterminate them. Hunter/Robyn comments wryly that she'd rather get it over with tonight, if H/Jason doesn't mind. H/Jason calms down a bit. What's the plan? First, she says calmly, we let them blow us to smithereens.

30. The blimp is closing in on the Hunter's Lair. On Goliath's orders, but with some reluctance and uncertainty, Lex has everything ready. All four gargoyles flee and watch from a nearby rooftop as the blimp smashes into the Bronx tenement H.Q. and BLOWS UP REAL GOOD. It's Hindenburg time. Nothing could survive that inferno. Demona is pleased. For once, Goliath is acting like a true gargoyle. Perhaps she and Goliath are not so far apart. Perhaps not, Goliath agrees grimly. She departs. Brooklyn cannot believe that Goliath is just letting her go. But Goliath: "She was not our enemy tonight." Oh, yeah?! What about the D/I-7? We'll worry about that later. Let's go home. They depart. And after they're gone, the Hunters' Airship, rises out of the flaming wreckage like a dark phoenix.

31. Inside the airship, the trio of Hunters have locked onto the three gargoyles. Hunter/Jason is a bit concerned about letting Demona get away, but Hunter/Robyn assures him that she knows where to find the "demon". None of them much care that the H.Q. was sacrificed. It'll be worth it, if they can destroy the gargoyles. From a distance, they track Goliath, Lex and Brooklyn to the clock tower. They know it's above the precinct house and may even be impressed that the gargoyles were clever enough to hide in such plain sight. H/Jason prepares to go in. H/Robyn stops him and begins to activate weapon systems instead. There could be a clan of thirty or forty gargoyles in there. H/Jon doubts if there's more than six. He can't believe what she's preparing to do. There's a building full of people in there. She's confident she can target the tower with some precision. A squeamish H/Jon fumfers, but suggests they wait a couple hours until sunrise. The gargoyles will be stone and can easily be destroy then . But H/Robyn shakes her head. We cannot count on that. She puts a picture of Demona on a monitor screen, side-by-side with a picture of Dominique. She then uses a sophisticated computer program to demonstrate that Demona/Dominique are one and the same person. Dominique has never been seen after dark, and since no one's ever spotted a gargoyle in broad daylight, H/Robyn correctly surmises that the "demon" transforms into Dominique every morning at sunrise. H/Jason wants to know how this is possible? H/Robyn shrugs. How is it possible that the demon has lived as long as she has? The obvious answer is sorcery, and if Demona/Dominique has shared this sorcery with the other gargoyles, then they could easily sneak out of the precinct house in the morning disguised as humans, and we'd never find them. H/Jon is still against the still unstated plan. Both turn to H/Jason for his final decision. Well, he says, they blew up our home. The least we can do is blow up theirs. But let's make sure that none of the gargoyles escape. It ends tonight.

32. Hunter/Jon and Hunter/Jason exit the ship on sky-sleds, and swing around to guard the clock tower from the air in order to make sure no gargoyles escape what's coming. Below him, Elisa's Fairlane pulls up in front and Elisa goes inside. Hunter/Jason spots her, whispers "no, not now" and after some hesitation, takes his sled down and right toward the front door of the precinct. Hunter/Jon spots him going down and calls out, "You fool, what are you doing?!!"

33. Hunter/Jason smashes through the precinct's front door on his airsled. As cops and perps dodge out of the way, he makes a bee-line for a stunned and surprised Elisa.

34. Up in the tower, Goliath has just finished describing tonight's events to the rest of the gargoyles. They have nothing more to fear from the Hunters.

35. And onboard the airship, Hunter/Robyn presses a button.

36. A missile is launched from the airship, it targets the clocktower, blowing it to hell and gone.
END PART TWO

Hunter's Moon memo #2

In anticipation of my Ramble on "Hunter's Moon, Part One," here's the second relavent memo I have. One thing to keep in mind is that I don't have everything from those days. And I certainly don't have electronic copies of everything. So the record I'll present in this and following posts is WAY less than complete. This is just stuff off my computer that I sent to Michael Reaves, but doesn't reflect all the hard work that HE put into things.

Anyway, note the date. This memo was produced in March of 95, months after the one from my previous post. At this time we still thought it was going to be a direct-to-video movie.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

WEISMAN 3-8-95

Notes on "Hunter's Moon" Outline...
Michael, in the interest of getting these notes to you sooner rather than later (and yes, I realize that to a great extent that boat has already sailed) I'm just going to give you a number of broad notes to think about and incorporate into a second draft that may wind up being fairly different from your first draft. I'll toss in a few specifics along the way as they occur to me. Feel free to call me to discuss any aspect of these notes, after you've absorbed all this.

(Incidentally, I noticed that there were a few departures from our final approved premise that seemed to reflect earlier drafts of the premise. I just want to make sure we're working off the same document. Unfortunately, the final premise isn't dated, nor is the draft number listed, so there's no quick way of checking.)

GENERAL STUFF
GOLIATH vs. the HUNTERS
The story seems to be too much about the Hunters (and Elisa) and not enough about our lead GOLIATH. I know this is a particular concern of Gary Krisel's. We need to emphasize that this is Goliath's story, first and foremost. It's about his struggle with feelings of vengeance and how he overcomes those feelings.

We can help drive the story towards Goliath by keeping the Hunters more mysterious for more of the story. If we don't know who they are or why they hate gargoyles until much further along, then Goliath becomes more important.

THE LOVE TRIANGLE
This is another way to keep Goliath's emotions at the forefront of the story. We should really make more of this. Elisa is falling for this new guy Jason. Instead of treating it like she's an unattached female who now has a shot at a new romance, she should feel conflicted, because she's deeply in love with Goliath!! She might sublimate those feelings at times. Even deny them to herself. Because after all, she realizes that her relationship with Goliath is doomed to be platonic. She knows that a future or a family or anything normal is an impossible dream with Goliath, but that doesn't mean that her feelings for him aren't just as real. What does it mean to her when someone else starts to press those buttons? Does Jason remind her of Goliath in some ways? The quiet brooding intensity? The poetic heart? The tragic background that he doesn't like to talk about? His feelings about the importance of family? Or keeping his word? His sense of mission? Jason is in fact a human, but twisted version of Goliath. That realization may sneak up on her, or she may notice it immediately, but she should certainly be conflicted about her feelings for him.

And what of Goliath? Certainly, he'd be "happy" for her. But how does he really feel? Jealous? Frustrated? Lonely? Does his frustration over "losing" Elisa help to fuel his anger and thoughts of vengeance against the Hunters? Then when he thinks she's dead he goes berserk.

And if Jason discovers that Elisa has feelings for Goliath, what's his first response? Revulsion?

Even the other gargoyles would recognize it's a touchy subject. They're not blind to Goliath and Elisa's feelings for each other. Hudson in particular must see how Elisa has replaced Demona in Goliath's heart.

And the fourth side of the triangle: Demona? It's a minor point in this story and God knows we've done it to death in the series, but we shouldn't ignore the dynamics of Goliath and Demona's past relationship. Demona would love the revelation that Elisa's dating a Hunter. It would prove everything she ever believed about Elisa.

I honestly don't know how on the head we should be with it, but obviously, we shouldn't slide over this triangle. It's classic stuff.

DEMONA AND THE VIRUS
If Goliath is the heart of this drama, Demona is definitely the engine. And in general, I think we need more Demona driving this story. We don't have to spell out her plan right away, but we need to involve her more. She was largely absent in this draft and the story felt like it rambled a bit without her. Let's make her evil plot the throughline for the whole story. It should build slowly but steadily. Everything else can sattelite around that.

One problem we have with Demona is that there are two facts of her existence that we are stuck with but which can't be explained by gargoyle-business-as-usual. One is her immortality, which is central to the concept of her opponents the Hunters, and the second is the fact that she turns into a human during the day. We don't want to get into the whole City of Stone/Corsican Bros./Macbeth thing to explain her immortality, nor do we want to have to explain Puck/the Children of Oberon/Titania's Mirror to explain her transformations. And fortunately we don't have to. All we need to do is use the one word "Sorcery" to explain it all.

But "Sorcery" doesn't play a part in the story we have here, so even that one word explanation sticks out for me like a sore thumb, unless we use sorcery as part of her plan with the Virus. I'm reminded of the poison that the Archmage used on Prince Malcolm in "Long Way To Morning", which was "made virulent by a magical spell". I think we can use something along those lines here. If Demona's plan could combine modern science with ancient sorcery it could accomplish a number of goals. For one thing, it introduces sorcery as an element in this world, letting us skate past Demona's transformations and immortality smoothly in a line of dialogue. Secondly, it gives her a long-term plan. Something she could have been working on throughout the centuries as she dodges the Hunters.

For example, I think we should add a flashback in 15th century Florence, where Demona steels some magic spell or talisman and is pursued by a 15th century Hunter armed with da Vinci inspired technology (very high-tech for the time). It could give some scope to the whole project.

Then if we want, for the 1980 Paris Notre Dame scene it's not simply a fight between Demona and Jon Canmore, but Demona is there for a purpose, she's gathering the second ingredient she needs.

Thus by 1996, modern technology has finally caught up with black magic. Demona (in her human identity as Dominique Destin) has her own company, Brimstone Inc. (which she owns with Thailog, though we definitely don't need or want to bring him up here). She can be developing the virus herself. With every intention of using it on an unsuspecting humanity in combination with the magic she stole in the earlier flashbacks. Maybe she needs to wait for the Hunter's Moon to cast her viral spell.

By the way, Demona's threat to release the virus at the end is hardly empty just because Goliath knows she plans to do it anyway. What's to stop her from doing it right there and then? (This raises another question. Would the virus affect Gargoyles? If it did, would Demona care? Would it affect her? Is that why she needs to use magic with it so that she can control who it does or does not kill?)

BARN SCENE
I really think we need to open the whole video with the 994 flashback to Gillecomgain and Demona's initial confrontation in the Scottish barn. We should even exagerate the scene to emphasize the petty way the feud between Hunters and Gargoyles began. Demona doesn't even remember the incident, it was so insignificant. And the Hunters, I believe, should have no idea about the reason the feud began. We tip the audience off at the head. Demona was stealing dried fruit from a barn. A peasant boy tries to catch a thief. Demona lashes out and the boy is scarred for life. The pettiness is a comment on the fruitlessness of revenge and vendetta. Later, when Elisa asks Jason how it all got started, Jason will explain about the Hunter tradition and his father. (We get this Paris flashback out of his conversation with her. Not out of his conversation with his siblings which saves on them having to relate things to each other that all three already know. This also keeps the Hunters more mysterious, for longer.) But the Paris tragedy doesn't begin to answer Elisa's real question. She wants to know how the whole feud got started in the first place. And when Jason realizes that he cannot answer that question, it may be the slow beginning of his realization that life as a Hunter is not the right way to go. The irony will be that even though NONE of our players know how it all got started, the audience does. And it was an incredibly petty conflict to begin such a tragic course.

Another advantage to putting it at the head is that it introduces the idea of Demona. In the current version, Demona never even gets mentioned until she first appears as a human in scene 15.

GOLIATH AND THE HUNTERS
Goliath has no prior knowledge of the Hunters at all. Only Demona does. Remeber, Goliath never saw Macbeth in the Hunter's mask. By the time he arrived at the Macbeth/Demona fight at the end of "City of Stone Part IV", Macbeth had already removed the mask. So we don't need to mention Macbeth in this story at all. In fact we can treat the whole concept of the Hunter as if it is a brand new story element. By using the Gillecomgain barn scene and the Canmore last name, we've given the connection to viewers who've seen City of Stone. They can figure out for themselves how these new hunters fit our episodic mythology. But we don't have to go into that here.

And new viewers won't need any more complicated backstory than what we've presented in our three flashbacks. The barn scene acts as the catalyst for the feud. The Florence scene demonstrates that a Hunter has been hunting Demona throughout the ages. The Paris scene sets up the specific motivation for our three new Hunters. Anything else that regular viewers know about the origins of the hunters and/or Macbeth's use of the mask is just gravy for them, but would be distracting here.

AN OUTRAGEOUS REQUEST
Would you mind terribly if we named Jason's siblings Robyn and Jon and gave the name Charles to their father? This is silly, I know, but by coincidence you chose the names Robin for the sister and Jon for the father. My younger sister is named Robyn and my younger brother is named Jon. If we put a "Y" in Robin's name and we trade the Father and brother's names, then it would be a great kick for my siblings to have sibling Hunters named after them. I realize that seems to identify me with Jason. But think of it this way. You get to horribly paralyze me at the end.

SPEAKING OF JASON, ROBYN AND JON
We need to give Robin/Robyn and Jon/Chas some more screen time to add to the mystery and ultimately to get to know them better. We obviously won't reveal this right away, but when the three Canmore siblings arrive in NYC, each is given a mission. Jason is supposed to infiltrate the precinct where police reports on "gargoyles" have been filed and find out all he can there. (Please keep in mind however, that neither Elisa or Matt are going to admit that they believe the gargoyles exist. They're going to poo-poo it as tabloid stuff. They aren't going to say that gargoyles show up whenever there is trouble.)

I'd suggest that instead of Human Demona infiltrating Gen-U-Tech to get the Virus, we can have Robyn/Robin infiltrate Brimstone Inc. to try and get a bead on Demona and/or what she's up to.

And we need to find something for Jon/Chas to do as well.

Also we probably shouldn't reveal to Elisa early on that Jason has a brother and a sister. That absolutely gives away Jason's identity long before we're ready to be that definitive.

FINAL CONFLICT
We've compressed too much into this final battle. In the premise this was two separate sequences and I think it works much better that way. Jason and Elisa should fall to their deaths before the climactic battle. Goliath must believe that Elisa is dead. (This again heightens his emotional conflict. Makes him more the main character.) Robin/Robyn and Chas/Jon must also believe that Jason is dead. The audience must believe it too, for a while at least. We have some downtime where everyone mourns and swears further vengeance.

In between, after we've mourned the dead but before the final confrontation we might want to reveal the truth. Show Jason and Elisa at the hospital or something. Give us that last revealing Paris flashback. Plant the seeds of doubt. Get him in a wheelchair. Though he's in no condition to go anywhere, he leaves with Elisa pursuing. But is Jason leaving to kill the gargoyles or to reconcile with them?

We might also choose to divide this Elisa/Jason scene in half. Put part of it as a verbal confrontation that comes after Elisa figures out that Jason is the Hunter but before the action sequence where they physically "fall to their deaths". Elisa's asked Jason's some tough questions but he's not prepared to turn over a new leaf yet. Then he goes and gets paralyzed and he's blown his chance to "walk away" clean.

If we do that, we might be able to skip the Hospital scene entirely and thus Jason and Elisa's arrival at the climactic battle in the next paragraph can be a real surprise. (I know, I know, so many options....)

Anyway, in the climactic battle, largely because of Elisa and Jason's "deaths" things have escalated between Gargoyles and Hunters just in time for Demona's final push. At just the right moment, paralyzed Jason and Elisa show up. And Jason has finally learned his lesson. That's enough to calm down Goliath, the gargoyles and Robyn/Robin... but Demona and Chas/Jon are way too far gone. (This also helps explain how Chas/Jon could get so far gone. He had time to freak out about Jason's death. Jason's paralysis doesn't serve to calm him down.) All this at the final crisis point. Chas/Jon and Demona should maybe even "die" here. (An escapable death, but a good one.) We don't want to underestimate the cost of vendettas. Or we can send them both off still swearing vengeance on the other's respective race.

EPILOGUE
I don't know if we should send Jason and Robyn/Robin off at the end. Feels too tidy to me. Maybe events have put distance between Jason and Elisa. Maybe events have brought Goliath and Elisa closer. Or maybe there's still a chance for Jason and Elisa now that the secrets are out. Which leaves Goliath alone. Whichever way we choose to go, I think we should keep Jason around. His need to adjust to his chair and/or try to help/find the AWOL/"Dead" Chas/Jon are not mutually exclusive with him still being a factor in Elisa and the gargoyles' lives.

Also, do we want the gargoyles to plan on moving back to a rebuilt clock tower? Or do we want that era to have past?

A FEW MORE SPECIFICS...
ANGELA
I think you better include her. She'll have been a regular for months by the time this thing comes out.

BRONX
We keep leaving him out. I think we've discovered in the World Tour that he can be useful both in battle and in storytelling. I'm NOT saying we need to drag every gargoyle around in every scene (in fact we should probably find excuses to split them off into teams so that we are dealing with fewer at a time), but we shouldn't artificially disinclude Bronx either.

ELISA ON THE DAYSHIFT
There were some logistical problems caused by Elisa having to be on nightshift with Jason, and in the same night having to interact with the gargoyles. Same with Jason having to play Hunter on the same night he was working with Elisa. If Chavez insists on a temporary reassignment for Elisa, it might actually help us if that reassignment was to the day shift. I'm not mandating this, but it might make it easier.

VARIOUS CRIMES
The mugging is o.k. Since it's purpose is to show status quo. I am a bit concerned about the location and the complete lack of threat that these teams of Muggers provide. Perhaps we should set it somewhere with more gargoyle-access, someplace that doesn't force this woman to first escape on her own. And maybe we should give the muggers (or street gang) the Xanatos/Dracon Particle Beam Weapons to up the stakes a little.

But the other crimes began to feel too random and meandering. I think we should find a way to tie them into our story more directly. Maybe involve them in Demona's plans.

THE CLOCK TOWER
Blowing it up was Gary Krisel's idea, and I'd like to do it. But we've got a logic problem. Jason knows that it's the precinct house. And he knows that most gargoyles turn to stone during the day. If they can track them this easily, and know that they haven't left the tower, why not wait til they turn to stone rather than blow up the police station. If Robyn/Robin is in charge at that moment it might help. Or if they've discovered by this time that Demona doesn't turn to stone at night, they might feel they have no choice. (It's that incredible tracking ability that makes believing the decision tough. Maybe that's what we should get rid of.)

MATT'S FBI BUDDY
Rather not involve him, since for our regular audience he's compromised as a member of the Illuminati.

TRAVIS MARSHALL
Do we want him to get a "good shot" of Demona on video? Maybe, if we really want to blow things wide open. GARGOYLES -- FACT NOT LEGEND! Film at eleven! I don't know if we have room to deal with the ramifications in this story, but it does fit Gary Krisel's mandate to "shake things up." It appeals to me.

SEALAND AMUSEMENT PARK
Just a little nervous about making the climactic battle take place here, given the end location of Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

AND FINALLY, DEADLINES...
We're really under the gun here. The time I set aside to work on the outline was long past by the time it got turned in. Which means, obviously, that these notes are coming to you VERY LATE. (Sorry about that, I just got bogged down.) So we need another draft fast. I'm hoping that after the second draft, I'll be able to give you just a few cosmetic changes for a polish. And then we'll take that polished draft to Gary Krisel for his notes. And he always has notes. If we're lucky, he'll send us to script with those notes and we won't get too far behind. If we're not lucky, we may be going through a couple outline drafts with him. (And I'll emphasize that I believe it will have a lot more to do with luck than with any skill or talent or lack thereof on our part. Which is not to say he won't have good notes. His notes are generally right on the mark. It's just sometimes he trusts us to execute them. Sometimes he doesn't. And it'll just be luck (good or bad) as to whether we get him on a trustful day or not.)

In any case the first draft script is due before the end of this month on March 22nd. The final draft isn't due until mid-May, but we don't want to eat up April because we'll have to go through the same process on the script as we are on the outline. Only there'll be even more scrutiny because the script is the blue-print, not the plan for the blue-print.

So basically, I'm just urging you to make up for the time that both of us lost on the project. Obviously, you can only do your best, but I felt obligated to point out how far behind we already are.

Hunter's Moon Document #1

In anticipation of my Ramble on "Hunter's Moon, Part One," here's the first relavent memo I have. One thing to keep in mind is that I don't have everything from those days. And I certainly don't have electronic copies of everything. So the record I'll present in this and following posts is WAY less than complete. This is just stuff off my computer that I sent to Michael Reaves, but doesn't reflect all the hard work that HE put into things.

Anyway, note the date. This memo was produced in July of 94 (TWELVE YEARS AGO, YIKES!) before the series had even premiered. At the time we thought it was going to be a direct-to-video movie. My boss, Gary Krisel, had rejected CITY OF STONE as a direct to Video because he felt it focused too much on the villains and not enough on the heroes, i.e. Goliath and the Gargoyles. (He was fine with us doing City of Stone as episodes though, so we knew we'd be building off THAT.)

Greg Weisman 7-25-94

NOTES ON HUNTER STORY

Open in @1980.

Father and his three teen-age children: Boy, girl, boy.

He's after "The demon" that his ancestors have been hunting for a thousand years.

His own grandfather died fighting the demon.

His own father spent his whole life searching for the demon.

Now he's found her: Demona.

Oldest son is very gung-ho.
Middle Daughter is more neutral.
Youngest son doesn't like the idea.

Father puts on Hunter's mask and battles Demona. He gets Killed.

All three children now swear vengeance. Oldest son is still the leader.

In present, these three hunters still pursue Demona.

When they stumble upon Goliath and Co. they make no distinction between good and bad gargoyles.

One (or more) of gargoyles is very badly injured. (Though healed during daytime hibernation.)

Goliath swears revenge.

We need to involve Elisa in someway.

Oldest boy is eventually paralized from waist down by Demona.

He and his sister eventually come around to theme that the Price of Revenge is too high. Goliath also gets this message.

Demona and youngest son don't learn.

Probably want to show the original Hunter (Gillecomgain) in a brief flashback or two. Don't contradict anything that's in City of Stone, but don't reveal any details about his fate or who the second or third Hunter's were.

And that's all I've got....

TURF OUTLINE NOTES

In preparation for my next ramble, here are my notes on the outline for Turf... written after story editor Gary Sperling turned in the episode's outline but before work began on the script itself.

You'll notice that I didn't finish my beat outline. Didn't have time. But I got the ball rolling, and Gary was so good, he didn't need me to do the rest...

WEISMAN 5-16-95

Notes on "Turf" Outline...

ANGELA
She can't be a cypher. Nor can she be naive of the Trio's attentions for very long. She can miss it for a beat, then be flattered at first. Then annoyed at their presumptions. We can play the whole range, except non-responsiveness. Also, we'd like to make her fun in her own right. New York (and even the modern world) are still very new to her. Situational excitement can distract her from the Trio's antics. But lets try and get a sense of who she is outside of the context of her parentage.

Also, I feel that we need to know who Angela will wind up with in the long run (assuming there ever is a long run). Gary Sperling and I discussed it, and came to a semi-consensus that Angela and Broadway would make a nice couple. This should NOT be objectively reflected in this episode, and Broadway can make just as big an idiot of himself as Lex and Brooklyn, but if we keep it subtle, I wouldn't mind if viewers were able to look back to this episode and say, "you know, it really started here."

BROADWAY
Independent of his romantic prospects, his appetite seemed overwhelming here. No arguments that he likes to eat. And I have no problems depicting him eating, but I don't want his appetite to ever overwhelm his common sense. No hunting for jalapeños when he's on a covert mission. Food does not become a priority when Elisa or the gargoyles' lives are at stake. And per Gary Krisel, we don't even want him to be talking self-consciously about food. It's a background element to his personality, not a defining element. He's imaginative. He likes to roll play. To have a good time. He likes pop culture. He's a fierce warrior. He's sensitive. Kind to animals. Protective. And, yes, he likes to eat.

CORRUPTION
I'd love at some point (that's that elusive long run mentioned above) to do a story about corruption. But I don't want to depict casual corruption in a story that doesn't have room to deal with it. Xanatos was in prison in "Thrill of the Hunt" and "Enter Macbeth" and got no massive privileges, except maybe a private cell. He ate prison food in the common room, etc. And he was in for a considerably lesser charge and has considerably more wealth at his disposal than Tony. So I don't want to see Dracon bribing guards or living the high life. Again, if our story was about that I wouldn't hesitate. But it's not. So prison is tough and cold and unpleasant. Dracon can have a private cell, a privilege he loses in the epilogue, and he is still running things via communication with Glasses. But he ain't having fun.

ELISA/SALLI
When the story opens, she's already in with Brod. In fact from her point of view, the first scene was designed to be the end of her undercover operation. She leads Brod to hit one of Dracon's illegal operations and the cops bust both sides. The plan is screwed up when she is knocked out before the cops arrive. She comes to later and has to improvise from that point on.

BROD
Brod's not a secret. This is an open turf war between two gangsters. Everyone, Dracon, Glasses, the cops, etc., know who the combatants are. The dilemma for the cops is that they cannot afford to let either side win. The winner would become too powerful. Putting Dracon away is embarrassing evidence of that. His operation is still in place. Elisa and the cops want to take the opportunity that the turf war presents to decimate the operations of both sides.

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
1. Some Dracon operation is raided by rival gangsters led by Brod. Brod's second-in-command is a woman (Elisa/Salli). Brod's men have the drop on Glasses and company, but "Salli" is knocked unconscious in the first early struggle. Suddenly, the raid is raided by the cops led by Chavez and Bluestone. (Morgan can be there too, but Elisa is conspicuously absent.) The cops nail henchmen on both sides, but Glasses and Joey escape (probably via some escape route that was in place for just this kind of police raid). Brod also escapes with the unconscious Salli, maybe to some extent because the cops don't want to fire on "Salli". (Though obviously, we don't want to reveal that here.)

2. In the hovercraft, Salli comes to. What happened? Brod explains that her plan to get the drop on Dracon's lieutenants worked -- until the cops showed up. Brod is generally suspicious, though not paranoid. The cops may have stumbled onto this thing on their own. Or one of Dracon's men might have betrayed the operation, and the Brod raid was just a case of bad timing, an unlucky coincidence. But Brod does not like coincidences. It's very possible that one of his people snitched. He still basically trusts Salli. (The fact that she got knocked out probably doesn't hurt her credibility.) But he doesn't trust anyone 100%. So for the time being, he's not letting anyone out of his sight.

3. Glasses visits Dracon in prison. Dracon orders a counterstrike against one of Brod's new operations.

4.

Future Tense outline notes...

I don't know when I'll get around to rambling on Future Tense, but as it's up next, I'm posting my outline notes on that episode to Story Editor Michael Reaves.

The thing you need to know is that there was much discussion back then of doing the episode (or at least sections of it) in 3-D. Now I do NOT mean CGI. I mean the 3-D glasses kind of 3-D. So many of the notes below reflect that.

WEISMAN 4-23-95

Notes on "Future Tense" Outline...

Michael, I know this is exactly the kind of document that drives my story editors nuts. I apologize, but in the interests of time I believe this is the best solution.

I also want you to know that I considered your suggestion that we replace one of Cary or Gary's episodes with a from-scratch 3-D affair. But after reviewing the schedule it just wasn't practical. Aside from the fact (and budgetary concern) that those guys are already underway on those stories, we just don't have time to come up with a new story from scratch and get Gary Krisel's approval on it and still make all relevant deadlines.

I believe that what I've beated out below preserves all the essential stuff from Marty and Bob's outline, but gives us more opportunity for 3-D action in cyber-space. As usual, none of it is etched in stone. If this approach works for you, you can go right to script. If there's anything you, Marty or Bob want to discuss, that's cool too.

GENERAL NOTE ON 3-D ACTION IN CYBERSPACE
Please remember the nature of this particular 3-D process: some elements push backward or forward depending on their assigned color. You guys don't have to worry about assigning the colors. Leave that to the art director. Nor do you have to sweat the foregrounding and backgrounding. We'll leave that to the board artists, art director, line producer and Frank. What you do need to be aware of though is that this particular 3-D process only really works with characters and objects. They should not be interacting with the environment or backgrounds. That's not to say that Cyber-Xanatos or whoever can't form any specific object out of the "ether" or something. But we don't want scenes of Goliath tearing up Cyber-walls or Brooklyn being swallowed up by the cyber-ground or whatever. Energy beams might work, but "energy fields" could be problematic. If this is unclear, we can set up a meeting with our technical expert, Rob Hummell.

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
I. Streamline and combine your beats 1, 2, 3 & 4.
Open on the skiff and the mist with some specific line from Goliath, where he's saying that the odyssey they've been on has been rewarding, but that he really is starting to miss the clan and Manhattan, his adopted home. He feels woozy for a second. Then he sees the Statue of Liberty. (The wooziness is being done in the interest of fair play. Don't make too much of it. The audience will forget about it until the end of the episode, at which point, they'll think: "Of course.")

Combine the blowing up of the skiff with the capture of Elisa and Angela by the Steel Clan robots, (we don't need uniformed human sentries). Goliath and Bronx are rescued by Matt. As they make their way to rebel headquarters we can get Xanatos's brief big brother (3-D) message. We can see the statue of Hudson and find out he's dead. Meet the hostile Brooklyn.

II. Combines your beat 5 & part of beat 6.
Meet the Blind Broadway. And bring up the Phoenix Gate. Make sure Goliath states definitively that "HISTORY CANNOT BE CHANGED". The line about 'time as a river' is a good one, but don't count on that to be clear enough by itself. Intro Good Demona and establish that she is mated (as opposed to married) to Brooklyn. Don't forget to plant another "fairness clue" with our audience. When Goliath says that he thought Demona was in love with Thailog, it takes her a flustered minute to explain that Thailog also died fighting Xanatos. Or something like that. Also I think we can let the more sophisticated members of our audience see the irony that Demona is finally good again only to be lost to Goliath forever. We don't have to state that in dialogue. It raises a lot of complicated issues.

Suddenly Cyborg-Lexington enters and announces that Talon, their inside man, is transmitting all-important data even as they speak. He turns on a monitor and we see Talon getting his butt kicked by Xanatos (in 3-D). While they are watching this, Goliath should ask where this battle between Xanatos and Talon is taking place. All Lexington knows is that it was coming from somewhere inside the Eyrie Pyramid. Xanatos gloats about his plan to do to the entire planet what he has done to Manhattan, then he destroys Talon and the transmission is cut off.

ACT TWO
III. Combines just a bit of your beat 6 and both of your two beat 7s. (Don't feel bad. This late in the season, I'm having trouble counting too.)
We don't need the attack by the Thailog Stormtroopers. Brooklyn states that it's now or never. We have to launch a pre-emptive strike on Xanatos' lair. They'll divide into ground and air forces. Brooklyn, Demona, Cyborg-Lex, Blind Broadway and Goliath will wait for Matt and Bronx and the rebels to create a diversion downstairs. Then they will go in above.

As the five gargoyles wait atop a nearby building for their cue, Demona and Brooklyn again try to prevail on Goliath to use the Gate.

IV. Combines your beats 8 & 9.
Matt and Bronx's diversion begins. The gargoyles fly in, but Lex reports with his cyborg-sight that both Matt and Bronx have been killed. Brooklyn is determined that they won't have died in vain.

They get in, but Lex is quickly taken prisoner and Broadway dies. Goliath, Brooklyn and Demona make their way to Computer Mainframe/Banquet Hall. They aren't looking for any Chief Administrator. They're still looking for Xanatos, not realizing that he no longer exists on the physical plane.

V. Basically your beat 10.
Except instead of a VR helmet, have Goliath, Brooklyn and Demona digitized into (3-D) Cyber-Space ala TRON. No physical bodies left outside. If you die in there. You dead. Obliterated.

ACT THREE
VI. Your beat 11, greatly expanded to fill most of the act.
Xanatos has been holding Elisa and Angela prisoner inside cyber-space, anticipating Goliath's arrival. We get our explanation. Our fight. And the destruction of Brooklyn, Demona and Angela. Goliath finally manages to take out Xanatos, which causes the whole cyber-world to dissolve.

VII. Combines and abbreviates both of your beat 12s.
Goliath and Elisa are re-digitized in the real world. Only to discover that Lex used the opportunity to activate Xanatos' plan. Now he'll rule what's left of the world. Goliath lashes out at Lex, which knocks him back into the main frame and the whole thing starts to blow. Castle is destroyed taking out Lex. (No redemption possible.) Goliath barely manages to save Elisa, but he's broken by it. And Elisa tries to get the gate from him. She fails and melts into Puck. In fact the entire world seems to melt into her to become Puck.

VIII. Your beat 13.
Puck reveals what it has all been about. (Make sure to specifically mention that Oberon has begun "The Gathering".)

IX. Your beat 14.
Make it clear that Goliath passed out right after he said his line about missing his adopted home. So the audience in retrospect can place the exact moment when Puck's little adventure began.

And that's it. Feel free to call with questions or concerns.

THE LEOPARD QUEEN

And here are my notes on the second draft outline... note we were approaching ever closer to the correct big cat.

WEISMAN 3-12-95

Notes on "Leopard Queen" Outline...

Hi, Brynne. Well, I'm at it again. Basically, I didn't feel we were there with the last draft of the outline, and given how far behind things are, I felt that it was necessary to beat it out here. My main problem was a lack of true jeopardy. The poachers were never any real threat to our gargoyles. In the end, neither were Tea or Fara Maku. The traps in the lost city had no effect on either Tea or the Poachers, so it was hard to believe that they would give Goliath and Co. a hard time. I just felt we really needed to escalate the situation, so I've added in the only character from African Mythology that I know anything about: Anansi the Spider. (And of course, I have no idea if Anansi is part of Nigerian myth, and unfortunately no time to check.) And just so you know, I wasn't secretly hoping you'd add Anansi. But he was the only thing in my head that felt authentic when I addressed the Jeopardy problem myself. Giant Spider. Worked for me. I tried to preserve what I felt was best from all the various versions we've had of this story. In reworking the legend of Kara Digi to include Anansi, I went for an animal folk tale feeling, instead of a curse, since you told me that African Myth tended in that direction. As usual, if you have problems with all or part of this thing, just call me.

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
I. RIVER WILD SEQUENCE.

II. On landing safely, no one is completely sure where they are.

A. Africa maybe, ELISA thinks, but she's not sure. She and her brother and sister came here as a child with their parents. Her mother's side of the family is from Nigeria.

B. ANGELA makes some semi-bitter comment about how she wishes her father would talk to her about her roots. GOLIATH gives the gargoyle company line in response. But it's clear that Angela wants something more personal from G.

C. Suddenly they spot something horrifying. We don't see what it is, but we can tell from their faces that it is something disgusting. Goliath is appalled. He cannot understand why any hunter would skin, defang and declaw an animal, only to leave the meat behind. Elisa explains that these jungle cats weren't hunted; they were obviously poached. An illegal practice, that's destroying the wild. Goliath thinks that may be the reason Avalon sent them here. To stop the poaching. They move off into the jungle. We do not follow them. We cut away.

III. Tribal clearing. A woman (DIANE) is telling a story to a bunch of native children. A few adults are gathered too (including FARA MAKU who has a claw mark tatoo or scar on his shoulder). In a cage nearby, a black leopard paces back and forth. We segue into her folk tale, told in arealistic "primitive" animation.

IV. The Tale of the LEOPARD QUEEN and ANANSI THE SPIDER.
A. The Leopard Queen was the most beautiful creature in the
jungle.
1. Beautiful black fur. Razor Sharp Claws. Huge white
teeth.
B. But she was also very vain.
1. She mocked the Hippo.
2. She mocked the Crocodile.
3. Then she made the mistake of mocking Anansi the
Spider.
C. Anansi weaved a magic spell in his web that transformed
the Leopard Queen into the first human.
1. No beautiful fur. No sharp claws. Puny little teeth.
D. The Leopard Queen begged Anansi to return her to her proper
form.
1. He promised he would on one condition.
2. That she build him a great city shaped like a giant
web.
3. She agreed.
E. But she could not do it alone. So she gave birth to the
human race to help her build the city of Kara Digi.
1. They followed Anansi's plans to the letter.
2. Anansi was very pleased.
F. When the city was built, Anansi kept his promise and
weaved a spell that returned the leopard Queen to her
true form.
1. With the beautiful fur, sharp claws and big teeth.
(Keep emphasizing these three elements.)
G. But Anansi had tricked the Queen. For now she was lonely
for her children.
1. She asked Anansi to turn her children into leopards.
2. He refused, because they tended his city.
3. But he told the Queen that if she hunted for him and
brought him food, she could choose one of her
children by marking him, and Anansi would turn
that child into a leopard.
H. So the Leopard Queen hunted for Anansi and brought him
food.
1. Anansi got fat and happy. He promised to grant her
request.
2. The Leopard Queen made her mark on her oldest son,
who was the wisest, bravest and most handsome
man of the tribe.
3. Anansi didn't want to let this great man leave his
city, but he had given his word.
I. Anansi called the Prince to him and told him of his promise.
1. The Prince did not want to become a leopard.
a. He had been born a human and wanted to stay
that way.
2. He asked Anansi if there was any way to escape this
fate.
3. Anansi told the Prince that if he killed the Leopard
Queen, Anansi would no longer be obligated to her.
J. So the Prince hunted the Queen.
1. But when he found her, he saw the beauty of her fur,
the sharpness of her claws and the hugeness? of
her teeth.
2. And he realized that she had chosen him out of love.
3. He decided not to kill her.
4. And so Anansi was forced to transform the Prince into
a Black Leopard.
K. Anansi was so furious, he banished all of the humans from
Kara Digi.
1. But that was foolish, because now he had no one to
tend his needs.
2. And so the spider went hungry.

V. As the tale ends, we see that Goliath, Elisa, Angela and Bronx have been listening from just beyond the clearing. They are enraptured by the story.
A. We get Angela's line about: Who is that woman? Magus?
Queen?
1. Elisa responds definitively: "No, that's my mother."
2. Probably at some point someone should remark on the
coincidence of her mother being there when our
travellers arrive, and someone else should point
out that with Avalon it is no coincidence, it is fate.
Maybe not here, but somewhere.
B. When the story's over, the adults (except for Fara Maku and
Diane) lead the children from the clearing for the
festival meal in the nearby Hauka village. We find
out that after the feast, the Black Panther will be set
free to honor the Leopard Queen.
C. Once the clearing is empty, Diane asks Fara with some
trepidation whether she told the story well. She'd been
studying to do this for months.
1. Fara praises her.
2. And Elisa steps into the clearing to tell her mother
she did a great job for someone born and raised in
New York.
D. That smart-ass remark is followed by a tremendous hug
between Elisa and Diane. Diane is very releaved Elisa is
all right.
1. But now that she knows that Elisa is all right, Diane
is furious that Elisa just vanished the way she did.
a. Elisa is surprised that she didn't get the
message from Matt.
b. But Diane can't believe that Elisa didn't call
home herself.
i. And Elisa's excuse that there hasn't been
time, doesn't cut a lot of mustard here.
2. Diane was so worried she nearly didn't come to
Nigeria for the Leopard festival, even though she
had been preparing to participate for a year. Peter
had to practically force her to get on the plane.
And he had to skip the festival, in case any word
came about Elisa back home.
3. So what is Elisa doing in Africa?
a. Elisa fumfers a lame excuse.
b. Diane recognizes it as lame, and is more pissed.
c. From the clearing, ANGELA doesn't understand
why Elisa doesn't tell her mother the truth.
d. Goliath explains that Elisa has some problems
sharing her secret with people. Though he
agrees that she SHOULD be able to tell her
parents.
e. Angela remarks pointedly that Goliath's right.
Parents and children should be able to talk
about anything. Goliath burns but says
nothing.
E. Suddenly, Poacher's attack led by TEA. (Please find a
different last name for her than MAKA, it's just too close
to Fara's MAKU. We're asking for confusion problems.)
Tea and the poachers want to kill the ceremonial leopard.
(Though for very different reasons.) And we may notice
that Tea also has what we might take as a claw mark
tatoo or scar on her shoulder.
1. Angela is prepared to jump in right then. But the
Poachers have guns which can fire faster than even
the gargoyles can move. Goliath wants to give
Elisa a chance to try to diffuse the situation.
2. Elisa, Fara Maku and Diane obviously have no intention
of letting Tea and her men kill the leopard. Fara
seems to know Tea. He can't believe she's working
with Poachers. This is what comes of leaving the
tribe for the big city. (Doesn't have to be America,
in fact it probably shouldn't. It's a bit distracting.
What's the biggest city in Nigeria or near Nigeria?)
We see Fara's getting very upset by all this.
3. Tea doesn't want to hurt Fara, but he doesn't know
what happened to her when she went to the big city.
And one way or the other that Leopard is going to
die. If necessary, every leopard in the jungle.
4. An increasingly agitated Fara places himself in front
of the leopard. The poachers are getting angry.
Let's just get rid of them all. We don't want
witnesses anyway. Things are reaching a boiling
point, and left with no choice, Goliath is just about
to go in.
5. When Fara Maku transforms into a HUGE black leopard
-- at any rate, considerably bigger than the
ceremonial leopard in the cage.

ACT TWO
VI. All hell breaks loose. Tea says something like "It was you!!". The poachers panic and start shooting at Fara, who attacks and is wounded. Goliath, Angela and Bronx wade into the battle. Short work is made of the poachers, but Fara/leopard flees into the jungle pursued by Tea. (We still think Tea is a villain at this point.)

Diane is stunned at all that's happened. And the appearance of the Gargoyles doesn't help. But the straw that breaks the camel's back is that Elisa clearly knows these monsters. Elisa is quickly able to convince her mom that Goliath and company are friendly, but that only raises more questions. How long have you known about this? Why didn't you tell me? Etc. Elisa doesn't want to deal with this, so she changes subject. What's the deal with Fara's transformation? Diane doesn't know. She thought the legend was just a legend. Goliath says that in his experience most legends have a seed of truth in them. At any rate, Fara's in obvious danger from that Tea-woman. They need to protect him. Elisa wants her mom to stay behind. Fat chance, young lady.

Just before they leave, they free the ceremonial panther and put the poachers in his cage.

VII. In the jungle, Tea hunts the Fara/leopard like a woman possessed. We get a sense that she and Fara once cared for each other and that for some reason she feels betrayed by him. She nearly kills him, but is prevented by Goliath and co. But when they try to apprehend her, she too transforms into a HUGE black leopard (though she seems to be trying to fight the transformation in a way that Fara didn't earlier.) Tea/leopard escapes, still pursuing the wounded Fara/leopard.

VIII. With Bronx's help, our intrepid band track Fara and Tea to the gates of legendary Kara Digi -- home of Anansi the Spider. Diane can't believe it's real, but then again, what isn't real these days? The city is layed out like a spider's web. Bronx seems confused. There are multiple cob-web filled pathways, and he seems conflicted between two of them. Angela realizes that Fara and Tea must have gone down separate paths. Angela, Elisa and Bronx will follow one path. Goliath and Diane will follow the other. (Elisa probably wants Goliath with Diane so that the big guy can keep mom safe.)

IX. The two teams split up. But both fall into death traps. Spider-themed death-traps ideally.

ACT THREE
X. Both groups separately escape their respective death traps and continue pursuit.

XI. Along the way, Angela has a discussion with Elisa, that chastens Elisa. (Angela wishes that her father would talk to her the way Diane seems to want to talk to Elisa, or something like that). Diane has a conversation with Goliath that chastens him. (As you said, the difference between the human and gargoyle way; the unreasonableness of children, the fact that Goliath treating Angela like a daughter doesn't preclude him from loving his non-biological kids back on Avalon. Diane has three kids, and she loves them all, but that doesn't mean she can't try to be as close as possible to Elisa. You might even get in the fact that Elisa's always been Daddy's girl. In fact, maybe we should run this through Elisa and Diane's whole conflict. Or maybe not. I'll leave that up to you.)
Note: Both Elisa and Goliath should be chastened but unconvinced at this point. Also, plant little spiders throughout their treks through the city.

XII. Anyway, all paths lead to the heart of Kara Digi, the heart of the web. Everyone converges there. Fara arrives first and transforms back into a wounded human. Tea isn't far behind. She too transforms back, and pulls a primitive weapon off the wall to use on Fara. She's intercepted by the several arrivals of all our heroes. And finally we get some answers. Tea was attacked by a leopard just before she left for the big city. Now everytime she gets upset she transforms into a black leopard. Made life difficult in the big city. She knew the Tale of the Leopard Queen and figured that if she killed the Leopard who marked her, it would break the spell. So she teamed with the Poachers. They helped her kill the leopards to get the fur, claws and teeth. She still can't believe that it was Fara that marked her. She loved Fara. Fara protests that he loved her too. That is why he marked her, to force her to come back to the jungle and stay with him. That isn't love, Diane says, that's selfishness. Fara realizes that now, but he really does love Tea. (Man this jungle's just filled with lousy communication skills.) But Elisa doesn't understand. How did Fara get cursed himself. Fara's reluctant to answer....so Anansi answers for him. Anansi lowers himself on a web from the darkness of the ceiling. He is a GIANT INTELLIGENT SPIDER. Fara knew the legends and searched for the city. He found it and Anansi, who was just a hungry little thing. Fara made the old deal. He would hunt for Anansi and bring him food in exchange for the Leopard "curse". Anansi's pleased with the arrangement. He's obviously eaten well. Now Fara begs Anansi to remove the curse from Tea, even if Fara has to serve Anansi forever. Tea's touched, but Anansi figures if one hunter is good, seven might be better. Anansi knows from his little spider children (who "bugged" Elisa and Goliath's respective conversations with Angela and Diane) that each of them has a loved one here. He may send a few of them out at a time to hunt while the others serve him and act as hostages. Of course this doesn't sit well with anyone, so we have a fight. Fara transforms again, so we have gargoyles, Fara/leopard, Tea, Elisa and Diane against this giant spider, and frankly, it doesn't look good for our guys. Fara is still wounded, and Tea has to transform to a leopard to save him at some point. She still loves him. Anansi is ultimately destroyed in some cool way that ANGELA thinks of. But with Anansi gone, now there's no way to remove the curse from Fara and Tea.

XIII. Epilogue. A bandaged Fara and Tea are reconciled. Both have done bad things that they need to atone for. But they are together, and like the Leopard Queen and her son, they choose to stay together out of love. If that means occasionally turning into black leopards to protect their jungle. Well, so be it.

Goliath tells Angela that he is very proud of how his Daughter defeated Anansi. She gets the message and gives him a huge hug, as dawn breaks and they turn to stone in each other's arms.

Diane is once more, suitably impressed. She and Elisa share a nice quiet moment alone. When night falls again, Elisa plans on continuing the world tour with her gargoyle friends, but she promises to tell her Mom EVERYTHING about it when she gets home.

THE END

So that's that. I'm not sure about the break between the second and third act. You can move it if you want. And if this doesn't play for you, all or in part, give me a call and we'll talk.

Finally, this may be sticky from an S&P standpoint. I can't really justify the poachers having futuristic guns. Their rifles can be semi-hi-tech, but they can't be laser guns. Also, I want to deal as realistically as possible with Fara's wound. Both as a leopard and as a man. I'm going to copy Adrienne on this. After you've both read this, you might want to confab with her to discuss perimeters.

THE JAGUAR QUEEN

Below are my notes on Brynne & Lydia's first outline for what would eventually become "Mark of the Panther". (Unfortunately, I no longer have copies of the actual outlines. Just my notes.)

WEISMAN 3-1-95

Notes on "Jaguar Queen" Outline...

FOCUS & THEME
"Emotional Distance" would be my best guess.
Goliath and Angela.
What is key issue/theme?
--He treated her more like a daughter before she knew he was her father.
--He is fighting a loving instinct inside himself.
--She doesn't grasp Gargoyle heritage on the subject.
--Distance? Coldness? Heritage? Self-control? Acknowledgement?

Diane and Elisa.
What is key issue?
--Distance? Coldness? Heritage? Self-control? Acknowledgement?
--Elisa is Daddy's girl.
--Is she distanced from her mom and/or her mom's heritage.
--Is mom shocked by Elisa's secret life with gargoyles?
--Is respect the issue?
--How does it relate to G&A arc?

Fara Maku and Tea.
What is key issue?
--Distance? Coldness? Heritage? Self-control? Acknowledgement?
--How does it relate to G&A and/or D&E?
--Do we need another set of parent & child?

Maybe we need to team Goliath and Diane?

ACT STRUCTURE
--Got to get more happening in Act One.
--Act One currently feels like it's all prologue, except that emotional issues aren't introduced until Act Two.
--Act Two seems too late to bring up Angela's arc.
--And Goliath's side doesn't get any play.
--It seems tacked on, not a dynamic element in the story.
--Must intro emotional arcs by end of Act One.
--Definitively for Goliath, Angela, Elisa and Diane.
--At least hint at them for Tea and Fara Maku.
--By end of Act One we need a jaguar transformation.
--By end of Act Two we need to get to the city if we're going there at all.

DIANE MAZA
--She's not personally from Nigeria. Her ancestors are from Nigeria.
--I frankly don't want to distance Diane & Elisa from the most negative side of the African-American Experience.
--Diane's been to Nigeria before, though.
--Searched out her ancestors.
--Studied there traditions.
--Has Elisa been here before? Probably.
--But how 'into it' is Elisa?
--Can she sense a monsoon coming?
--Much more of a Daddy's girl.
--Diane's an expert on "oral storytelling traditions"
--Not on all things Nigerian.
--Not on healing herbs for example.

FRENCH
--Elisa can't speak it.
--Maybe Angela can, but do we need it?
--Can't it all be in English?
--Ellipsis between 4 Heroes leaving the skiff and there arrival in village.
--We wipe from riverside to the village.
--Start hearing the story.
--Segue to depiction of story.
--When we return from 'telling', we see that the heroes are there and heard most of it.
--Elisa recognized her mom's voice right away, but doesn't tell the others right away.
--Stunned to see her there.
--Lost in the tale. etc.

THE CURSE - Simplify & Clarify
--Jaguar Queen's Logic seems confused.
--Curses conditions seem unclear and "Multiple"
--Why doesn't Tea turn into a jaguar?
--Was she turning into a jaguar in America?
--Does she want vengence on Fara Maku or does she want to kill the tribe's Jaguar?
--If she knows Maku is the jaguar that bit her, why try to kill the tribe's Jaguar?
--If she doesn't know, why does she want specific vengeance on him?
--What initiates Fara Maku's transformation into a Jaguar?
--Greed? Anger? How does it fit the curse we heard about?
--What initiates his transformation back at the end?
--How did he get cursed in first place?
--Do we want him to be the villain?
--Does their love story seems off point? Can we bring it on point?
--His motivation for cursing her seems pretty reprehensible.
--Tia's not bad for wanting to leave, per se.
--His vengeance being motivated by her greed, is fishy too.
--Why can't Tea end her curse by killing Fara Maku?
--How can she keep it from "being passed along"?
--Why do they reconcile?
--Who or what are we rooting for?

LOGISTICS
--When does Diane first see Elisa?
--How do gargoyles take out poachers without being seen?
--Why does Elisa feel it's necessary to reveal gargoyles at page 8?
--Beware set-ups that don't pay off.
--Straw man dangers.
--Spiked pit.
--Everyone notices and glides or "edges" around.
--Rope bridge - same deal. Whole set up feels artificial since Goliath could have glided over to rescue Tia in first place.
--Settled things that become unsettle.
--P.6 Tea's down, then is up again, with knife.
--Even gets her rifle back.

S&P CONCERNS
--Spear in Fara Maku's shoulder.
--Tea's rifle or shotgun at end of show.

LOST CITY
--Also discovered too late to not feel tacked on.
--Why is city booby-trapped? What is it protecting?
--A city doesn't only have one way to proceed.

POACHERS
--Aren't poaching.
--So why were they helping Tea?
--Was Tea a poacher?
--Has she been killing Jaguars looking for the one that bit her?

OUTLINE NOTES ON WHAT WOULD BECOME "THE HOUND OF ULSTER"

These are the notes I gave to Michael Reaves based on his outline for the episode...

WEISMAN 3-21-95

Notes on "A Bronx Tail" Outline...

Play a lot of Bronx PoV throughout.

ACT ONE
1. Night. Rory and SEANA (Finuala/Banshee) escape coppers. We see that she encourages him to delinquency. We hear about Hound. They split up. We hear Bronx howl. (Seana/Banshee hears it too?)

2. Night. Cut to Bronx howling by riverside. Banshee screech. Some sign of Banshee/Woman for Bronx to sniff.

3. Rory and Mom or Dad (not both). Day.

4. Switch with beat Five. Dungeon. Angela and Goliath wake up. Chained. (Combine Castle and Cairn) Gargs and Elisa in unbreakable chains.

5. Swith with beat 4. Rory leaves home to meet Seana. Bronx pursues Rory. (Tracking scent of Seana/Banshee on Rory.)

6. Rory falls into quarry.

6.5. Unconscious Rory has Vision of Ulster past - still a bit confused. Bronx might still be threat or ally.

7. Banshee attacks G, A, E. in dungeon.

ACT TWO
8. Bronx helps Rory out of Quarry.

9. Banshee ceases her assault on G,A, E. Senses that Rory is with Bronx. And/or she gets some info from G, A, E.

10. At bog. Bronx playing Lassie. Rory has a vision of Cairn/Castle.

11. Cut.

12. Seana appears. Bronx growls at her. Rory rejects Bronx for rejecting Seana. Bronx attacks. Rory cannot stop him. Seana/Banshee forced to reveal herself to protect herself. Bronx knocked out. Rory is shocked. Afraid of Banshee. Banshee does siren number on Rory. He leaves with her. How ominous.

13. Cut.

ACT THREE
14. Cut.

15. Cut.

16. Late Morning, early afternoon. Rory awakens at home probably. Parent bitching, he's a bum who's out all night and sleeps all day. Previous night feels like a good/bad dream. Seana shows up. Doesn't know what he's talking about. But Place from his vision sounds like Cairn/Castle. He insists on going there. She's frightened but she loves him. She'll go with.

17. They arrive after dark. Banshee/Seana is prepared to kill him... She was hoping to keep him from realizing his potential. But if that's not going to work than the ancient battle begins again.
Bronx arrives nick-o-time. (G,E and A hear commotion but can't do anything to help.) Bronx saves Rory, who gets spear and transforms. They battle and ultimately defeat or destroy deathworm. They free G,E and A. Rory returns to normal, but Ireland has a New Hero.

Sanctuary Outline Memo

In prep for my ramble on Sanctuary, here's my notes to Story Editor/Writer Cary Bates on his first outline for "Sanctuary"...

WEISMAN 2-13-95

Notes on "Sanctuary" Outline...

GENERAL
Cary, I'm going to resist the temptation of beating this all out for you. That's how I got so far behind before. And at this stage I doubt I could do it any faster or better than you. So I want you to do a second draft on this outline, addressing ALL of the notes below. I sympathize, in advance. This is a complicated story. But I know we (meaning mostly you) can make it work. Don't take too long. And feel free to call after you've read this. We may be able to work out some of the problems over the phone. Good luck and here goes:

"SANCTUARY"
How does the title fit? What is the theme of the story? Is it about feeling safe? Safe in the arms of someone you love? I like that notion, but we'd have to emphasize it a lot more.

And simultaneously, more of the action should be centered around Notre Dame Cathedral. Economically, we can't afford to design backgrounds for an entire city. So we should keep the action focused on a few locations, that climax at the gargoyle covered cathedral-"sanctuary".

Plus, we don't want newspapers to be generically talking about a "mysterious winged creature". We want them focused on the Creature haunting the Cathedral at night. Maybe they think it's someone posing as Quasimodo, or his spirit or maybe they even think it's a gargoyle come to life or something. Of course, it's really Thailog. (Not Demona, by the way.) He's been there since "Double Jeopardy". Arriving long before Demona and Macbeth arrived.

We need to involve Thailog more at the end. Make him part of the conflict. I think he would have upgraded a bit. Used some of that $20 million to armor himself for battle. Not necessarily robotic armor, but at least a chestplate. Maybe wrist and shin guards. Keep in mind, we want him to be more powerful than Goliath and more threatening than any other villain. We should probably arm him with some big high-tech bazooka/laser/cannon type-thing too.

And we don't have to break up Demona and Thailog at the end. We just need to know that Thailog doesn't really care for her.

Remember, Thailog's plan isn't to kill Demona and Macbeth for the sake of killing them. He wants what they have managed to acquire over the last nine hundred years. If he could add that to the fortune he's parlayed from the money he stole from Xanatos, he might be able to compete with Xanatos financially. He needs to have already merged Demona's holdings with his own. So that his corporation (and we should get a cool, evocative name for it) we'll inherit in the case of her demise. And he wants to inherit Macbeth's stuff too. So if Mac and Dierdre marry, and both die together, (which is the only way they can die) he'll get everything.

Now, I'm not pretending this is easy to accomplish. As I read the outline, I was wondering if we needed a maguffin or two to symbolize this wealth. Maybe Macbeth's Paris Mansion itself. But we managed to figure something out for "Outfoxed" that clearly and dynamically spelled out Halcyon and Fox's "financial conflict". We can do the same thing here. With the same clarity.

OTHER QUESTIONS
Does Macbeth plan on telling "Dierdre" the truth about himself?

Is this the first time since Gruoch that Macbeth has been in love? Since he's an immortal has he avoided close relationships, not wanting to outlive his lover? Or watch her grow old? Or has he been through this before? Maybe not often, but once or twice over the last nine hundred years. How did he handle it in the past? Is he doing something different now? Highlander questions, basically.

Is Macbeth afraid for Dierdre's life? Does he think Demona might try to harm Dierdre to get back at him?

Do Goliath, Elisa and Angela assume at first that Macbeth and human Demona are in cahoots and only realize/remember later that since M&D have no memory of anything between City of Stone and Avalon, that Macbeth might not know that this human woman is in fact Demona?

Do we have an opportunity, maybe when Goliath and Elisa are searching Paris for the villains, for them to be romanitcally affected by the City of Lights?

When it's over, instead of Macbeth simply remaining bitter and once again suicidal, could Goliath point out to him that life offers possibilities... that if Macbeth could fall in love with Demona, he could certainly fall in love with someone else? Someone nice who would make his long life worth living again, at least for a time.

SOME SPECIFICS
A bunch of things, (some of which Cary the Story Editor should have been able to catch from his reading of past scripts, tsk tsk). Some of these notes may be moot after a rewrite of the outline.

Beat 2) Goliath, Elisa and Angela know that Demona and Macbeth left Avalon unconcious and together. Wherever they landed it would also have to be together. (Of course, Goliath and Co. have been travelling for awhile. So there's no guarantee that Macbeth and Demona stayed together after landing wherever they landed. It's just a good bet.)

There's also no reason for Goliath to assume that Macbeth and Demona are involved with each other still. (After all, they hate each other.) Also no reason to assume that Macbeth would be hurt by the association. And though there's no love left between Demona and Goliath, Goliath has no reason to feel sympathy for Macbeth. The audience might. Some of them would know Mac's backstory from City of Stone and sympathyze, but Goliath doesn't know the whole story. And he's got no reason to think more of Macbeth than Demona. Ironically, it is Thailog, more evil than any of the others, who Goliath would have the most sympathy for. He sees Thailog as a victim of poor upbringing. He'd like to reform and rescue his "son".

On the other hand, by this time Goliath believes that they land everywhere for a purpose. If he sees Macbeth and/or Demona, it's not too big a leap for him to figure that whatever the purpose, it involves these villains.

Beat 4) Again, here we'd like the headlines to be more specific to the Cathedral.

Beat 5) Elisa would recognize the human Demona from "High Noon".

Beat 7) We are forcing the creation of a lot of different sets and backgrounds here. Also don't forget that Demona's transformations to gargoyle (and back) are painful. Also don't forget that Macbeth feels any pain that Demona feels and vice versa. Distance reduces the pain, but we've never been really specific about how much distance or what the reduction is. Does Macbeth, across town, feel a little of Demona's pain at transformation? If so, he could blame Demona, knowing as he does, that he feels her pain. All that would tell him is that Demona is in the vicinity. It wouldn't reveal that Demona is Dierdre, unless he saw her transform. On the other hand, Demona might be far enough away that Macbeth feels nothing. Or just a slight twinge of soreness, that he doesn't immediately connect with Demona. We can play it any of these ways, we just need to deal with this "Corsican Brother"-style pain-sharing. We can't ignore it.

Beat 10) We've got a lot of set-up with little action up to this point. Maybe we can streamline a bit. Also, it feels like Mac's hovercraft might be a little unwieldy for this sequence. Maybe he's on the flying equivalent of a jet-ski or something a bit more svelt.

But there's another big question. What is Macbeth's objective towards Demona at this point? He knows that the only way to rid himself of her is to die himself. He may have forgotten the lessons of City of Stone and Avalon, but I would think that his love for Dierdre would prevent him from wanting to die. Later we imply that he's chasing Demona in order to chase her out of town. But that's pretty goofy logic. "I haven't seen you in weeks. So I'm going to hunt you down, to make sure you stay out of my life."

Beat 11) We definitely want to do something with the Eiffel Tower. Maybe even stage a battle there in the first or second act. But the Tower is open to tourists at night. Does anyone see them hanging there? Or are we way into wee hours by this time?

Beat 13) Goliath can't steal this guys camcorder. He's not a thief. Even destroying it is pretty malicious for Goliath, who's never gone too far out of his way to hide from humans.

Beat 16) Gargoyles don't kiss. They stroke hair. And it's "Notre Dame" ("Our Lady"), not "Notre Damn" ("Our Damnation"?)

Beat 17) The Cathedral is a very temporary safe house for Thailog while some safer, new place is being built for him. (Or maybe that's part of what Thailog is after: Macbeth's Paris Mansion.) It is not abandoned. Thailog is safe their during the day, because he's like a needle in a gargoyle haystack. After dark, he can stay out of sight in the upper reaches, until the Cathedral closes for the night. But he can't have much of a set-up there. Computers? Paintings? I don't think so. Particularly when we've got reports of a creature climbing around the church at night. People might investigate. They wouldn't find Thailog. But what would they make of that computer?

Beat 18) Demona may have no desire to "see" Goliath, since she found Thailog. But she'd still want him dead. Plus she MUST be curious about this female gargoyle. She thinks she knows all the gargoyles that exist, and none of them are female. She'd have to know. (And for that matter, so would Thailog.)

Beat 19) Think about how silly it would look in live action, if a villain who looked like Thailog, whipped out a brush and in a few seconds added a necklace to a painting. It's equally silly looking in animation. Maybe moreso because it's so easy to do.

I don't understand the pre-nuptual agreement at all. Why does Macbeth feel he needs it? (And don't tell me his lawyers push him around.) Besides, the whole idea of it goes against what we want to have happen in the story. Thailog wants Mac and Demona to get married. And have Demona inherit so that he can inherit from her, when both Demona and Mac die. Or am I missing something? I don't think we want this to be about stealing money from a safe. That's small potatos for Thailog and Demona. Either we need to have some irreplaceable (possibly magical) maguffin in that safe, or we should be dealing with the whole ball of wax. The former would probably be easier, but I'd like to go for the latter ball of wax if we can.

Beat 20) Again, I don't buy Macbeth's logic for hunting down Demona.

Beat 21) Angela can't operate a camcorder. She's not Lex. (And as noted above, I don't see anyway for our guys to have this anyhow.) Plus she wouldn't recognize Thailog. Also it feels like a pretty big jump for Goliath to figure that Demona and Thailog are working together. Not an impossible jump, but a big one.

Also, I was unclear. Did Goliath have a chance to give instructions to Elisa or did he turn to stone before he had time?

Beat 23) Again, I don't believe Macbeth lets lawyers push him around. And I don't think we need this pre-nup agreement in the story.

Beat 24) I really don't like this camcorder. And I don't know why Elisa needs it here. Like if she followed Mac and Dem, returned to Goliath without visual proof he wouldn't believe her story?

Beat 25) "How can I prove my love to you?" "Give me the combination to your safe." Yeah, that wouldn't make me suspicious.
I'd almost rather play any scene like this where Macbeth is insisting on giving something to Dierdre, who protests that she doesn't want it. The more she protests that all she needs is his love, the more he wants to lavish on her. In this way, he is predictable, but he's not being fooled by "crocodile tears" into doing something that seems incredibly fishy.

Beat 26) Again, Elisa would recognize human Demona from "High Noon" the first time she saw her. But here I was entirely unclear. How does footage of Dierdre prove that she's Demona, when Elisa didn't recognize her in person?

And this bit about Dierdre being Demona's name...? Gargoyles didn't have names in the tenth century. Naming is a human convention. Goliath referred to Demona back then as his angel love, or his angel of the night. Do we want to change "Dierdre" to "Angel" or "Angelica" or "Angelique". I don't know if you still need this, since Elisa would recognize human Demona, but I suppose you could, as long as we wouldn't be confusing the audience with Angela.

Why wouldn't Goliath want Elisa along? And why would Elisa agree to stay behind?

And what is it that Angela's staring at? Footage of human Dierdre? This isn't going to help her make the connection between herself and Demona. Visual clues aren't really the answer at all, since she would have seen Demona in the Avalon 3-parter. She learned from Sevarius that Goliath was her biological father. Here she learns that Demona was Goliath's love all those years ago. She puts two and two together over the course of the episode. Figuring out the truth only after she's already come to regard Demona as evil. You won't have room here to deal with the ramifications of that discovery. You're just setting things up for another story.

Beat 27) Why does Macbeth want to capture Goliath and Angela if he wants to get Gargoyles out of his life for good?

Beat 28) Goliath is "spreading" lies? To who? I mean we know he's not. But who does Macbeth think he's spreading lies to, that makes him want to imprison Goliath to stop it?

Also Macbeth could NOT have heard about Thailog. He was under the Weird Sister's spell when Thailog made his only other appearance. Besides who would he have heard about him from?

Beat 32) Again, not at all happy about Thailog's magic paintbrush. Particularly since it proves nothing here. It's not a photograph. If Macbeth thinks Goliath might lie about Dierdre, why wouldn't he think that this is a further lie somehow accomplished by Goliath.

Beat 33) I'm glad Macbeth keeps his cook. That guy can make a mean omelette.

Beat 36) Again, don't forget that Macbeth and Demona feel each other's pain while fighting.

Beat 39) These are huge leaps for Angela to make. How does she know this about Thailog. Also does Thailog show up there, state what he states and then not get involved in the fight? Or is that a typo for Goliath? Maybe we should let the battle climax at the Cathedral. Thailog is there. Goliath tries to "save" his son from Demona's evil. (Goliath assumes this plan is Demona's, not Thailog's.) Thailog just laughs. Reveals he wants Mac and Demona to kill each other. And he'll kill Goliath to prevent him interferring. Or something like that.

Beat 41) Killing Demona would at least knock Macbeth out.

Beat 42) Again, doesn't Thailog want anything besides their deaths?

Beat 44) Goliath still needs to be in some discomfort vis-a-vis the biological mother and father thing. It's not the gargoyle way. Brynne is going to deal with this (she'll have the space to deal with it) in her Africa story. Let Elisa be the one who confirms Angela's suspicions.

Beat 45) Again, I think we're working against our own ends. Why does Thailog need Macbeth and Demona dead, if not for what he can gain by their deaths?

Beat 46) Again, I think we can let Demona and Thailog go off together. Also, we've spent the whole episode with Demona turning back and forth from human to gargoyle. Demona does not turn to stone -- ever.

Beat 47) Angela should not get any comfort from Goliath in this episode. You don't have the time to deal with it here. If she receives comfort, it would come from Elisa.

MOVING FORWARD
O.k. try another pass. I'd streamline, by opening with the skiff arriving in daylight. Elisa leaves the stone gargoyles on the skiff tied under a bridge and goes to explore Paris. A place she's never been. She probably calls home again. Maybe she tries her parents this time, and again gets an answering machine. To save money on a voice actor, the answering message can be one that Elisa recorded for her parents months ago. (My sister is on my parents' machine with a message she recorded two years ago.) Elisa's voice says something like: "My parents don't know how to work their answering machine, but if you leave a message for Peter or Diane Maza, there's a fifty-fifty chance they'll call you back"). You don't have to jump through hoops to get the message erased this time. Then she briefly wanders around Paris like a tourist until she spots Mac and "Dierdre" who she immediately recognizes as Demona. She doesn't know that Mac doesn't know it's Demona. She'd probably assume they're up to something bad together. And also guess that they're why she and Goliath, etc. have landed in Paris. She follows them at a safe distance, etc. She doesn't want to get spotted. Near nightfall, she might head back so that she can inform Goliath when he awakens. Or she might not want to lose Macbeth and Demona until after she's found their H.Q. Or maybe when Mac and Dierdre split up, Elisa follows Dierdre to see where she lands, then loses her among the tourists at the cathedral.

Anyway, that's somewhere to start.

BACK TO THE PILOT...

On 7-15-93, I sent our writer a memo, sending him from outline on the Gargoyles multi-part pilot (what would eventually be dubbed "Awakening") to script (with notes).

So now it's two months later. In the interrum, the writer turned in a script, but it had become clear that he wasn't locking into the vision of the show that Gary Krisel and I had. This isn't meant as a criticism of this writer. This show was so new to Disney it was hard to get the template across to people. Fortunately, the next writer we brought on hit a home-run. That writer was, of course, Michael Reaves. What follows is a LONG memo I sent him with the previous writer's script. Everything else should be fairly self-explanitory, though I've added the occassional note in [brackets].

To: Michael Reaves 9-19-93

From: Greg Weisman (818)-754-7436

Re: Notes for Gargoyles Script

cc: Paul Lacy, Jay Fukuto, Bruce Cranston.

Michael, here are our collated and copious notes on [the previous writer's] script. Some of them are probably obvious to you, so forgive me if I tend to go on and on. Enclosed with this memo is a copy of Eric's script on disk, hopefully formatted to suit your needs, and the original beat outline for the 10th century section that we gave to [the previous writer] in March to get him started. We thought reading the latter might give you a clearer idea of what we were aiming for. You'll notice that [the previous writer] compressed the events of 994 from three nights into two. This obviously saved him some space but limited his ability to set up characters, motivations, themes, logistics, etc. I'm only bringing this up to allow you the flexibility to do either. Also available but not included is the outline that he wrote, which we approved to script with five pages of notes. Just let me or Paul know if you want to see either document.

SOME GENERAL NOTES:
--Obviously, the dialogue needs improvement. Each character must have his or her own unique VOICE. Diction must be chosen carefully. We don't want Goliath to sound arch and artificial, but he shouldn't be spouting colloquialisms either. Plus everyone should only say things that make sense for them to say.

--Motivations which once seemed clear to us have been buried or lost entirely. We must make these clear and understandable.

--Goliath's arc in particular must be made clear. He begins as an optimist. He has a job to do and he does it well. He believes that humans have a lot to offer to gargoyles (like reading and writing, for example), and that gargoyles also have a lot to offer to humans. He puts up with the Queen [soon to be demoted to Princess, i.e. Princess Katharine] because whether she's grateful or bitchy is largely immaterial to the fact that he will be true to himself, i.e. a gargoyle who protects his home. When he is betrayed, he becomes embittered. He has learned to hate and mistrust humans...he begins to see the world in Demona's black and white terms. Gargoyles, good; humans, bad. It may be a mind-set that he almost has to struggle to maintain: it's against his better nature. But he's determined not to trust again. Elisa changes him. He rediscovers his optimism through her. And the realization that Demona participated in the betrayal cements it. The world has shades of gray again. It's a tough world, but worthy of effort.

--Themes are likewise buried or lost. In addition to Goliath's major arc, the most important theme is, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Even Goliath is prone to fall into the trap of appearances. We should emphasize it as much as possible. A secondary theme is the "man out of his time" idea. We should never forget how strange the twentieth century must seem to our gargoyles.

--Ideally, we'd like to have some lighter moments of humor, both to offset the tension and to throw it into relief. But that doesn't mean we need brainless sight-gags or goofy pseudo-Spider-Man quips.

--As we discussed, you may want to open the whole piece with a VERY brief twentieth century scene between Elisa and another cop, looking at the fallen debris (claw-marks included) and wondering what could have caused this.

--Also remember that Gargoyles can't fly. They can glide, and we will cheat this using updrafts and downdrafts to keep them in the air, but if they're on the ground they have to get some height (perhaps by clawing their way up a building). They absolutely CANNOT take off by running fast at ground level.

--Gargoyles normally have pupils, but when they are angry or fighting, their eyes glow solidly.

PAGE NOTES
PAGE 1
As we imagined it, the castle was built on top of a Gargoyle rookery. The rookery itself was a series of tunnels carved into a cliffside overlooking the sea. This gave the inhabitants (both Gargoyle and Human) protection on all sides but one. The scene between Brian and his mother was originally to take place within a hundred feet and in clear view of the castle gates as they struggled up the hill toward the castle on the promontory. They are probably serfs. It's doubtful they had a village to burn down. The castle would have been the center of the community. We're not even sure whether it's necessary for the marauders to have already attacked their farm. (How would they have survived that, anyway?) Brian's desire to stand and fight seems off point. The fight's gonna happen where it should happen, at the castle.

Incidentally, for reasons that escaped us, [the previous writer] changed the boy's name from ROBBY to BRIAN. It doesn't really matter, but for some reason, Brian seems like a more modern name. Robby may be no better, however, so feel free to use either name or come up with a new one. [Of course, Michael changed the name to Tom. So in "Three Brothers" I used the Robby name for the young Captain.]

PAGE 2
Cole is a very wordy marauder. Also his reasoning's a bit off. He's in no real hurry to catch the farmers. He's after bigger game: the castle. If he takes that, he'll get everyone's possessions including the farmers. He's on a steady march up the hill. [Cole, of course, became Hakon and the marauders became Vikings.]

PAGE 3
Waiting for dusk to obscure the archer's vision is o.k., but obviously, waiting for nightfall when they can't see anything makes even more sense.

We saw the Captain as anything but handsome. A burly gargoyle of a man, ugly even. A real career soldier. Not necessarily a native to the castle. Someone who would get as little respect from the queen as Goliath does. Someone who could identify more with the gargoyles than with the humans he works for.

PAGE 4
The conversation between the marauders is too on the head. Telegraphs TOO much. I think the point was supposed to be that even in 994, real gargoyles were fairly rare and many castles had adopted the practice of putting fake ones up to scare off the likes of Cole. Cole is taking a calculated risk in attacking a gargoyle covered castle at night. I did think it was a nice moment when Cole ordered his men on and then silently stared at the castle, before shrugging off his fears.

The captain should have his archers ready, but Cole's keeping his men out of range, waiting for nightfall.

At some point we may need to clarify why the marauders are attacking. The idea is monetary gain. Confiscate anything of value. Drag the people away in chains. Perhaps ransom the valuable ones. Sell the others as slaves.

PAGE 5
O.k., the gargoyle's transformation from stone to flesh is not a magical one. It's biological. No magical light. We've discussed that every sundown they turn back to flesh from the inside out and when all that's left is a thin layer of stone on top, it starts to crack, and they explode out of it. (This is like a snake shedding it's skin for a new one underneath.) It's also up for grabs whether we want to show the complete transformation here. It may be better saved for when they first wake up in the twentieth century. Your call.

PAGE 6
In this first battle, the Marauders never make it over the wall. The battle takes place in front of the castle, and maybe on the wall a bit.

Bronx does not panic and hide. Again, think of Hooch in Turner and Hooch. He's dangerous in a fight.

The "gargoyles-don't-have-names" stuff must seem totally incomprehensible to you from this script, but we actually do think it can work, so as we go through the script, I'll try and show you what we had in mind. One key thing to remember is that in the tenth century, gargoyles felt that naming something defined and limited that thing. Goliath was named by the humans, (and you'll notice that the humans chose the name of a monstrous biblical villain, which kinda indicates their opinion of gargoyles in general). If gargoyles do need to refer to each other, they do it based on the individual relationship. So on this page, Goliath would never refer to Hudson as "Old One", but might refer to him as "old friend".

PAGE 7
Goliath: "We'll take care of it, son. You get your mother to safety." All of a sudden I expect to see a big red S on his chest. No thanks.

Plus Brian (or Robby or whatever) drives me nuts. This kid is too precocious. We don't need to see him leaping into battle. And we need to remember, Gargoyles are scary to humans, even to humans that gargoyles protect. Brian may have a more open mind than his mother, but the mistrust may not fully go away until the end of the tenth century sequence. Brian isn't hero-struck by Goliath. He's intimidated. (Of course this whole scene may go, since the marauders aren't gonna make it over the wall, here.)

The trio are NOT kids. They are the human equivalent of 19 years old, which would easily make them warriors in their own right. Not necessarily mature, but old enough to fight and not whine.

"Earned your claws" is an odd expression. I don't think I like it, but I'm not sure.

PAGE 8
Like "Old One" for Hudson, "Beautiful One" in reference to Demona is just an awkward substitute name. If Goliath must refer to her, it would be by relationship...something like "my love".

And they do love each other, so we don't need any pseudo-"Moonlighting" sparring. She would certainly not refer to him as "Presumptuous One."

And we probably don't need any 20th century airplane jargon, like Double Barrel Roll, etc.

Bronx is NOT Scooby Doo. Dogs don't laugh.

Cole and Goliath's exchange is awkward and confusing. What does Cole want revenge for? Having been beaten?

PAGE 9
Goliath's line, "As we owe you ours every day, for protecting us during the daylight hours", is redundant.

We need to clarify the wizard's reaction to Goliath. To be fair to [the previous writer], the Wizard [soon to be dubbed 'the Magus'] is a character who's been giving us trouble from the beginning. We thought of him as a frightened and prejudiced old man. Perhaps, it might work better if he were envious, insecure and young. Turning the haughty, young queen (who is easily swayed by appearance) against the gargoyles. Whatever you think works best. Believe it or not, Bronx might actually be useful in this scene. If he trotted after his master into the throne room and did something funny and obnoxious, that bit of comic relief would then be ammunition for the wizard's opinion, and the queen's disgust.

PAGE 10
Likewise, we need to understand the Queen's attitude. She is young and immature. Prejudiced, insecure too, perhaps. Perhaps she feels the need to prove her own superiority and fool herself into believing she doesn't need the 'goyles. It's unlikely that she would value the ugly captain much more than the gargoyles. In our original beat outline, we had the queen suggesting that after this fight with the marauders is over the captain's services also might not be valued so highly. (Perhaps she tells him he'll be reporting to the wizard from now on?) This might also help motivate the captain's betrayal.

PAGE 11
Goliath's line "We are what we are." is right on target. It's not that he loves how the queen treats him. But he will be true to himself w/or without praise. However, the phrase "do our jobs" is wrong. It's not a job. It's who he is.

Again, I'm confused by this reference to Cole's revenge.

In the three night structure of the original beat outline, the captain's betrayal (and the logistics that made it possible were much clearer). You might want to refer to that March outline or at least rearrange scenes so that the logistics work. Meanwhile, the captain's suggestion should be to take ALL of the gargoyles and give the marauders a good scare.

PAGE 12
Goliath figures he can be plenty scary on his own. Why leave the castle unguarded? (Still he's aware that going off alone is somewhat dangerous. That's part of the reason he leaves Demona behind.)

We don't get the line about only her "understanding the full responsibility."

Page 13
I don't mind "smoothskin" too much, but I don't see any point in reducing that to "smoothie". I certainly would rather have them use the word "Humans" over "pink ones".

Broadway volunteers some very awkward expository information about naming. But I think the exchange with Brian could help illustrate the idea simply with a few changes. For example:

BRIAN
You don't have names? How do you tell each other apart?

LEXINGTON
(simply)
We look different.

BRIAN
But what do you CALL each other?

BROOKLYN
Friend.

In other words, they don't have clever explanations for why they don't have names. They have simple reasons for why they don't need them.

PAGE 14
So all these substitute names like "One that always looks good" is just the kind of thing gargoyles would never do.

It probably would take a little more prodding to get the trio to act like monsters.

PAGE 15
Growling is kinda feeble.

Also didn't Goliath leave with Hudson in the previous scene? And should he order them specifically into the rookery or just out of the courtyard? And again, beware playing the trio too young. Here they come off as little kids.

Hudson and Goliath CANNOT run along the ground and catch an updraft with their wings. They could jump off a cliffside though.

PAGE 16
"Little Gargs?" I don't know.

This whole conversation comes off as artificial and expository.

And Bronx should be with them. How else does he survive? Which means he should probably have been with them in the previous scene with Brian/Robby as well.

PAGE 20
It's a tough scene, but we need dialogue that won't make us cringe.

Are the trio and Bronx waiting in shadows, or are they just now emerging from the rookery?

PAGE 21
Hudson's attitude is wrong. He's a soldier, not a kindly old man.

We're not sure why Goliath ran down to the rookery, but we know the results of the trip don't work. If Cole found the eggs in the rookery and took them away, than he would have also found Bronx and the trio and destroyed them. The idea with the eggs was to plant that they existed in one scene in the pilot and not refer to them again. Than they'd be fodder for a future episode.

Hudson's line: "There is never a reason good enough..." is confusing in this context. We shouldn't be afraid to use silence when words aren't necessary.

At the bottom, the Queen's last line has now made her thoroughly irredeemable. (Even if Brian is a sappy kid.) Now that she's been humbled, we should begin to see her transformation. She's witnessed some horrible things. Now that it's too late this young woman is going through some changes that might someday make her a wise ruler.

PAGE 22
Again, we need to make sense of the wizard. He can't be so irrational towards Gargoyles that it's unbelievable.

PAGE 23
Brian makes my teeth hurt.

PAGE 24
Brooklyn is coming across as whiny again. There's no finesse to any of this dialogue.

And the choreography of this scene makes little sense either. Why is Cole only now dragging the Queen into his tent. Again, you may want to refer to our original March-dated beat outline. In that, Cole and the Captain have the Queen and Wizard (the most valuable captives) isolated in their tent from the beginning. Cole taunts the wizard here by tearing pages out of the magic book and burning them. Then when gargoyles attack, Cole and Captain flee tent and campsite, leaving wizard behind, again isolated, believing the queen will be killed. Goliath follows the villains. Queen will thus be witness to his heroism. Wizard can blame gargoyles for causing queen's death (not for killing her) before she returns with Goliath. Not the only way to go, but it might work. This doesn't.

PAGE 25
Hopefully, by this time the Captain's motivation will be clearer. He had no love for the queen. He thought he was doing the gargoyles a favor by having the humans dragged away, leaving the castle to them. But Goliath insisted on leaving the gargoyles at the castle, and though the captain believed he could protect them from Cole, he was wrong. Cole was taking no chances, purely as a practical matter.

PAGE 26
What exactly are we seeing in silhouette?

Again, the choreography and the wizard's reaction and accusations make no sense.

PAGE 27
The way the wizard phrases the spell renders the spell useless, because the gargoyles did not betray the castle. However, it's good that the emphasis of the spell is on putting the gargoyles to sleep (in which case they always turn to stone) rather then having him magically turn them to stone (which would confuse the whole issue of whether or not gargoyles turn to stone magically or biologically).

By this time we need to believe in the Queen's change of heart and redemption. Even the wizard should be well chastened. This whole thing is coming across as too pat.

PAGE 28
This needs to be a sad, almost poetic moment.

PAGE 30
Do we want to use lasers to cut through mortar? Is this planting the available technology so that it doesn't seem artificial if we use it later, or are we making something that should be special into something mundane?

PAGE 31
Maybe so it's less artificial, the rain should be coming down from the beginning of this scene.

Here, at least, the gargoyles should explode out of their old skin.

PAGE 32
Don't know why we're moving inside for half a scene that could be much more dramatic and effective in the rain.

Obviously we can't use the name Charles Xavier. And we probably shouldn't use Xavier either. We've discussed the name XANATOS here, but if you have a better idea that's fine.

We don't know about giving Xavier the book of magic. Seems to us that the book may be useful for future stories (like the eggs). Besides if he has this book, what would keep him from turning them back into stone at the end of the pilot when things don't work out.

PAGE 33
Again, we're not sure if we can do THE PACK justice in the pilot. They've got that interesting "American Gladiator" back story that we don't seem to have room to service here. Though thematically it does fit nicely. Maybe in a future episode. If we do use the Pack, they shouldn't have any Cybernetic implants. And they shouldn't have CY.O.T.I. either. These were all additions that I discussed with Eric for their second and third appearances. We should never take this sort of stuff for granted.

I like the HARD HATS idea too, but I wonder if even this is necessary. If the attack is done by black garbed, masked commandos it would still serve it's purpose.

The attack should come very soon after the gargoyles are awakened. And they should be totally at sea. Helicopters. Guns. They don't know what the hell is going on. Pack...Hard Hats...Commandos...they'd be running circles around these 'goyles. If the gargoyles defend the castle at all, it should be purely reflexive. Again, it's what they are. But Goliath is certainly in no mood to protect any human or human interests. Goliath should be more confused than the audience.

And we definitely don't need any mid-raid chats between Xavier and Fox. Not sure if the bad guys need to talk at all.

PAGE 34
Nor do we need any old bad vaudeville schtick from Hyena. I know she's crazy, but please...

And Dingo can be cast to have an Australian accent w/out resorting to cliched dialogue like "Mate" or "Gander at the Goodies".

Also don't know why Fox waited so long to "coordinate" the attack.

We've been spelling Elisa's name with one "s". Eric consistently used two. I only bring this up, because it changes the pronunciation to something that sounds less Hispanic: his eh-LISS-uh as opposed to our eh-LEE-sah.

Our preliminary designs have shown Elisa with long hair. And we never thought of her as a Rosie O'Donnell type. We're hoping she's something special but doubt that's the way to take her.

What are the reactions to what's going on above their heads? It's high enough up that they can't see any details. And it can't be such a civic disaster of falling stone that the whole city would be up in arms.

PAGE 36
How does Xavier know Goliath's name? Maybe this was supposed to be a mistake on Xavier's part, a clue that he knows more than he claims. But Xavier is not that sloppy.

PAGE 37
Before Lex identifies the helicopter as a flying ship, should one of the others think it was some kind of creature? A metal dragon or something?

PAGE 38
Although Goliath is too decent not to be somewhat grateful to the man who woke them up, we don't think he's making any deals with any humans at this point. He's protecting his own.

PAGE 39
Could Elisa see "lasers and heavy weapons fire" from the ground? And Batman may call Gotham his city, but we doubt that Elisa is so full of herself to call New York, "MY city".

And when does Elisa investigate? That night? The next day? Why does she wait 24 hours?

PAGE 40
We're uncomfortable with the notion of introducing our cop by having her perform an illegal search. Perhaps, instead of being stonewalled, she is called in to investigate the theft. (Xavier knows she'll get nowhere, because there was no theft.)

PAGE 41
Bronx would not shake like Jello. He'd probably be a fairly effective watchdog. (Which is not to say we couldn't use him surprising her to comic effect.)

They just rebuilt the castle; should the ledge be giving way?

PAGE 42
As we discussed, Goliath can grab the flagpole, but it should snap off in his hand. He's not BATMAN. He's way to weighty. Maybe he uses his claws to dig into the side of the building and eventually slow his descent.

We need to develop the relationship between Goliath and Elisa slowly. His saving her life does create some kind of trust...but doesn't make friendship automatic. So she wouldn't just "know" that he "was only... protecting the castle."

PAGE 43
And she can't just shrug off the fact that she's "talking... to a bunch... of gargoyles." When and how will she hear their story, learn about them.

There's something promising about their exchange at the bottom of the page. Perhaps if it were more like...

GOLIATH
And who decides what is... "wrong"?

ELISA
Well, over the years... the people decided.

GOLIATH
You mean the humans decided.

Or perhaps something which indicates the tension.

PAGE 44
His need to know more about this world...is this his decision or something she leads him towards? In general, this all seems to be happening too fast. She seems to know his desire to stay with the castle before he's expressed it. She seems to know about the day/stone stuff. Why does she even want to enlist him at this point?

PAGE 45
Even at this stage, we need some solemnity to their growing bond.

And we need to avoid modern phrases like "case list" that we can't assume Goliath would understand.

Hudson asks a good question. Goliath's answer seems non-responsive to it.

And Elisa seems like a real user in her aside at the bottom. Besides, how does she know he'd make a great addition. And why are they waiting until tomorrow night. The way he's devised the last few scenes, it seems the night is still young.

PAGE 46
Why enter mid-scene if you're just gonna have Xavier re-explain things?

PAGE 47
As noted above, characters here don't seem to have their own voice. Hard to believe that Xavier would use the expression "for crying out loud."

If we do use the Pack, this could be a good time to emphasize the theme of appearances being deceiving. Xavier could even use the fact that Goliath is sensitive to this theme to his advantage.

The lines re: the t.v. set are appropriate in the sense that the gargoyles should not take the modern world for granted. But they don't have to be stupid either. Perhaps the more savant-like Lex can express things in terms the others can understand. For example, television might be a living tapestry. And a living tapestry might appeal to Hudson.

Is the holographic projector necessary?

PAGE 49
Xavier's never nervous. Let him do the reasoning and the talking.

PAGE 50
Bronx has no real wings. He cannot glide.

All this dialogue is "voiceless" and dull.

Back to the name thing. This is more what we had in mind:

ELISA
What do I call you guys?

HUDSON
Goliath is the only one the humans named.

ELISA
What? You have to have names.

HUDSON
Does the sky need a name? Does the river?

ELISA
The river's called the Hudson.

HUDSON
(w/a heavy sigh of capitulation)
Fine. Then I too will be "the Hudson".

GOLIATH
Don't worry. You'll get used to it.

ELISA
Good thing we weren't facing east.

PAGE 51
Or something like that. Then the kids decide that if Hudson (the big traditionalist) is gonna have a name than they'll get names too. We don't need to see them find their names. We'll just reveal their choices later. Also we don't need to find a rationale for Bronx's name. The trio can just come back with it. (They probably just made their choices based on the sound of the words.)

As for the various exits... Hudson is happy to guard the castle. That's what gargoyles do. Maybe he's going to study the new world through the Living Tapestry/T.V. that he's discovered. Goliath wants to explore it first hand. Hudson tells Goliath to take the dog with him, probably as a way to make sure Goliath is careful and safe. (Again the dog is not a liability to it's master. But good to have around in a bad situation.) But Hudson would express his concern subtly.

HUDSON
Take the dog with you.

GOLIATH
Why?

HUDSON
He needs the exercise.

Goliath gets the message. As for the trio, just remember that they are not "youngsters" with a curfew. Goliath can express a stern warning without treating them like children.

PAGE 52
Remember, Brooklyn is the natural leader of the trio.

I doubt Elisa says "Sheesh!"

PAGE 53
Now this whole thing with the robbery seems horribly contrived. If I didn't know better, I'd think Elisa had rigged it just as Xavier rigged the Pack attacks. The whole thing doesn't work. Certainly no one would rob the same apartment twice on the same night.

PAGE 54
Elisa seems to wear an agenda on her sleeve at the bottom of this page. She's coming off as a worse slickster than Xavier.

PAGE 55
Goliath's: "Those days are over!" response is ridiculous, because those days never existed.

And dogs don't laugh.

PAGE 56
I'm sure we don't want the female Hyena doing Rodney Dangerfield. Or any other bad old jokes.

PAGE 57
I've missed how Elisa made it to her car. I thought they were herding her.

And her line about "checking the transmission" is exactly the kind of pseudo-Spider-Man quips that we can forever do without.

Do we care how the Pack found Goliath?

Since Fox is telling a fib (which Xavier probably fed to her) in order to get Goliath's dander up, then "riches" misses the point entirely. What does Goliath know or care about wealth? Perhaps Fox brags that the stolen information will give them power to crush anyone who stands in their way. As for her excuse for chasing Goliath down...(Since it is literally contrived)...she could say that she doesn't like to leave any potential enemies alive. She couldn't finish him the other night because he was surrounded by friends. But now she can pick off all of the gargoyles one at a time. That would send a chill down Goliath's spine.

Also, it occurs to me that if you do replace the Pack w/masked commando types, than we could actually have a masked Xavier delivering this speech to Goliath. Maybe Bronx recognizes Xavier, but not being Scooby Doo, there's no way for Bronx to get his message across.

PAGE 58
So many problems.
--Elisa comes off as an idiot, here.
--None of us buy Goliath's sudden "surge of superhuman strength".
--What's Bronx doing in this scene?
--No running take offs into the air allowed.
--Bronx can't fly, so he couldn't follow anyway.

Also, this might be an opportunity to explain that Gargoyles glide and don't fly. As they are trying to escape, Elisa would ask the natural question:

ELISA
Fly us out of here!

GOLIATH
I can't.

ELISA
What do you mean you can't?! What're the wings
for?!

Or something like that. Given his limitation they either have to stand and fight or he has to start to climb high enough to get some air.

PAGE 59
Does the crowd attack Goliath or ask the Pack for autographs? Again, can we service the Pack in this pilot with all the other things we have to accomplish?

PAGE 60
If we do use the Pack, then Elisa has NOT just remembered who they are. And we need to understand why she doesn't immediately call for back-up or warrants for their arrest.
And this is a missed opportunity to play up the theme of judging by appearances.

This is also an opportunity to explain that Gargoyles daytime hibernation allows them to heal and recharge. Shed their damaged skin for a new one the next night.

PAGES 61 - 63
It seems odd that we haven't really intercut between the trio and Goliath.

This scene is a mess as well.
--Again, we need "voices" for the trio.
--We shouldn't rush to give them colloquialisms either. Over time, they SHOULD pick them up more readily than Goliath or Hudson. But let's make it make sense.
--We don't need to see the namings at all, or find rationales for the chosen names.
--Brooklyn appropriating some sunglasses seems like it might be a fun little touch. But how he gets a leather jacket and t-shirt over his wings is a bit perplexing.

PAGE 64
Although I'm not necessarily in love with it, the "Pleestameetcha" bit is the closest we come to believing these guys are learning to adapt, as opposed to automatically adapting with ease.

Dancing Gargoyles are a bitch to animate. Or so I've been told.

PAGE 65
We'd like to avoid the whole perplexing issue of whether or not the gargoyles can read. I tend to think that except for Goliath, they can't. (As it is, we're stretching in having them able to even speak and understand modern English.) In fact, if we feel like actually doing some good at some point, then a literacy episode featuring our trio and Hudson might be honestly worthwhile, but until we're prepared to really deal with the issue, we'd like to avoid it.

PAGE 66
This cluebuster scene has come off more contrived than it had to be.

PAGE 67
Again, it's unclear why Elisa doesn't simply file charges.

Maybe Hudson starts to give a shadowed Goliath the same guff he's been giving the trio, until Goliath steps into the light and he sees that Goliath has been wounded.

Again, wealth is not the issue. But physical power might be.

PAGE 68
And this grudge thing makes no sense. The Pack has battled Goliath twice and have basically won both battles. The only explanation that makes any kind of sense is the notion that they don't take any chances with potential threats.

Goliath could be honestly perplexed as to what to do...and decide to sleep on it.

The reunion should be an amazing moment. We need to believe in their love.

Xavier should say that he took the liberty of choosing the name Angelica for her. It's a lie that will ring truer.

PAGE 69
Angelica's story is not convincing. The attack was during the day. All gargoyles that were found were destroyed. We know it's a lie but we need a better one. Maybe just before sunrise, she got worried about Goliath and left the castle to find him. [The truth is that at the last minute she didn't trust the Captain to protect the frozen gargoyles from Cole. So she took off and hid somewhere.]

Xavier's story is no more convincing. Maybe he saw her picture in an art book and purchased her for his collection, long before he found out about Goliath. Or something.

Dialogue needs work, and Bronx is misused again.

PAGE 70
This is how Bronx should be used. Like a dog.

Goliath's "You just watch me" line, again misses an authentic voice for the character. He should also not gain immediate comfort with everyone's new names.

It's probably all right that Brooklyn has picked up the word "cool" and its usage by this time. But Goliath should not respond with another colloquialism, "Excuse me?", like he's Wayne or Garth. Does he think the tower is too cold or Brooklyn is? Actually, this whole exchange might be better suited for Hudson or cut entirely. I just feel like I've seen it in a 1969 Bob Hope film.

PAGE 71
As for Bronx going with Hudson, we can play off my earlier suggestion. This time Goliath tells Hudson to take the dog with him, because now he's worried about his old friend and the dog might come in handy. But he wouldn't dare to embarrass Hudson either.

GOLIATH
Oh, and Hudson, take the dog. He needs exercise.

We don't know why Angelica and Goliath need a helicopter.

And Demona's little slip about "crime rates" is too goofy. No reason for her to say something like this unless she was trying to tip him off.

PAGE 72
Maybe I'm over-reacting to the word, "lumbering", but for some reason I keep picturing an old fashioned and impractical Spruce Goose. We need to make this cool.

We obviously don't want to animate TEN GUARDS simultaneously.

Also we need a sense that Xavier out-fitted each of the three teams with a precise plan and understanding of their mission. He's too smart to let them all wing it.

PAGE 73
Why wouldn't the trio glide to the top of the tower/skyscraper? Why GROUND yourself by starting at the bottom. And again, they should already have a plan, provided by Xavier.

We also need to believe that these things are well-guarded. If CYBERCORP went to the trouble of splitting this information between three separate disks in three separate locations, including one mobile location, than they're not just gonna leave each disk laying around. Again, a plan from Xavier would help short-cut CyberCorp's security. But we also need to see some things that only a gargoyle's unique talents could accomplish.

Also, should we intercut between these three assaults, as opposed to basically seeing them one at a time?

PAGE 76
Bronx is not Lassie. He's not smart enough to have plans whispered in his ear.

PAGE 78
Would a police dispatcher really report "gray monsters with wings" over the radio?

Should the gargoyles have tried to bring the airship down on purpose, or did that happen when things didn't go quite according to plan?

There's a lot of fainting and near fainting in this script.

PAGE 79
Are there any other cops around?

Is this an airplane crash/explosion or a blimp/airship taking a slow fall?

The exchange between Goliath, Elisa and Demona is very confused. Demona's "little detective" line is perhaps a clue that she knows more than she's letting on. But if it's so bitter, so soon, than it's too big a clue. Perhaps she just points out that Elisa doesn't know the story and they don't have time to tell her now. At any rate, Elisa and Goliath have not built the relationship to justify the "how could you" line at the bottom of the page. Of course, by now they should have. Even if we have a better line of dialogue to illustrate it.

PAGE 80
We probably don't need the triumphant scenelet at the top.

And we don't know why Xavier would raise the question of legality.

Remember, from Goliath's point of view, Elisa simply doesn't know the whole story. He thinks explaining will be easy.

PAGE 81
Any visible seething on Demona's part will give her away.

It's probably o.k. if we've revealed Xavier by this time, but his line is SO on the head.

PAGE 82
Why is Goliath being cryptic?

The issue of law into one's own hands is awkward coming from a woman who's been playing so fast and loose.

And when she says, "I thought we had a common bond..." Well, as the script stands now, we don't believe it. And we should.

PAGE 83
Does Goliath know NYC like a cabby. Can't stage this scene so that he doesn't have an off-screen opportunity to find out where he's going.

Did Goliath mention Elisa's name on or off camera? Or did Xavier just find it out on his own?

Page 84
Again we need to be somewhat careful that we don't assume that Gargoyles are totally up-to-date on modern terminology.

We also need to make sure that Xavier's plan up to this point is clearly spelled out. (Xavier wanted two things. The information on the disks and the gargoyles' unquestioning obedience. He tricked them into stealing the disks, something he couldn't do without their talents. The logistics of which should probably be explained here.)

{At this point, Xavier will know that he's obviously not going to be able to secure the gargoyles' loyal service. That's all right though. He has a back-up plan. The info on the disks allows him to create new-and-improved steel gargoyles. (Perhaps it contained a formula for a rocket fuel that would allow them to fly--something more believable than anti-gravity disks.) Now, he doesn't need the real gargoyles. He'd still like to have them. But if he can't, he'll destroy them so that they can't work against him.}

PAGE 85
Don't know why Demona waited so long to shriek?

Goliath can't swoop up to the top of the roof from the ground.

PAGE 86
This whole conversation seems non-responsive. Exposition's flying, but they're not talking to each other. Goliath should probably figure some of this out for himself.

PAGE 87
Goliath suddenly sees Xavier as the devil, it seems. It just doesn't seem justified.

Xavier is not a war-monger per se. Demona's reasoning may need to be more general. She recognizes that Xavier is the worst kind of human. If she helps him gain more power, she's helping humanity destroy itself. Plus he gives her cool weapons.

As to her name, we think she should say something mysterious like..."The humans named me Demona long ago." No explanations necessary.

Page 88
Xavier set up this test. If Goliath had passed, great. But what did Xavier think would happen if he failed. He probably should have supplied Demona w/some mega-cannon kinda thing to wipe Goliath out. Goliath should barely escape with his and Elisa's life. And when they do escape, either Xavier or at least his assistant Owen should be revealed there also. It's not like Xavier trusts Demona 100%.

PAGE 89
We'll leave the design of the robots to the designers, but I'm guessing that if we really want to contrast the robots with our gargoyles, than they should be shiny and chrome-like, as opposed to Giger-bio-mechanical.

Xavier doesn't plan on selling anything. This is a guy who's favorite word is " Acquire". Acquire power; acquire people...anything he sets his sights on. What he can get by legitimate purchase, he'll buy; it's easier. What he can't buy, he'll take by subterfuge or force. What he can't take, (i.e. our gargoyles and their obedience) he'll destroy. He has no desire to destroy humanity. Or even the system of commerce and government that's put him where he is.

PAGE 90
Elisa's apartment is the first place that the Pack would look at this point. And in any case, the landlord is not gonna just let the floor cave in. Elisa should try to lead the Pack (or whoever) on a wild goose chase. Perhaps into a sculpture garden full of art decco gargoyles and the like. This should be a tense scene where she clearly putting her life on the line to saves all of the Gargoyles. This doesn't seem like a moment for ineffective comedy.

PAGE 91
Xavier should not be too ruffled by the Pack's failure. If they had gotten them during the day it would have saved him some trouble. But he's not worried. He has the castle. He knows they won't risk another day without coming to take it back.

PAGE 92
Although Elisa's statement that everyone has some good in them is a fine message, it seems off-point.

Is Elisa going to participate in this fight or just watch it? Is Bronx (who can't glide or fly) staying with her for protection, or are the Gargoyles carrying both of them into battle.

Demona's line about designing her own armaments only works if it's supposed to be a clue to how long she's been awake in the modern world. Otherwise, it's easier if it's just a gift from Xavier.

PAGE 93
Finally, Lexington has found a voice. Unfortunately, it belongs to Mr. Spock.

Xavier wouldn't sink to the level of calling Goliath a moron.

And it's ridiculous for Goliath to say that he betrayed him more than any human. First off, it's not true. The captain's betrayal was far worse. And secondly, the whole point of this thing is that it doesn't matter whether you're a human or not.

Also, the Pack, (Hard Hats, Commandos, whatever), should all be participating in this finale, unless they've truly been dealt with in some way during the daytime chase scene.

PAGE 94
This is a very weak fight. Audience won't be able to know about internal gyroscopes, and nobody is gonna buy the screwdriver stuff.

PAGE 95
Xavier is coming off very weak, here. Can't happen.

PAGE 96
Elisa can throw a pair of binoculars farther than she can clearly see without them. I don't think so.

PAGE 97
In all this morass, we've lost track of what Elisa is busting Xavier for. What does she have evidence of that she can reveal without simultaneously revealing the gargoyles?

PAGE 98
Goliath: "This time the threat came from within." It isn't just this time.

Goliath's attempt at a joke is lousy. And what's worse is the "clean up this town" line. He's neither the sheriff nor Batman. That's not his mindset. He's a protector of innocents, not a pro-active crime fighter.

PAGE 99
This is not how we want to go out. Tell me about it.

Well, that's it. (That's enough surely.) Good Luck.

Hudson's nearly renamed...

More old memos from the original development file...

At one point a Disney Executive came to me and asked me to rename Hudson as a personal favor. She had just had a son, whom she had named Hudson, and was concerned for reasons I can no longer clearly remember.

I wanted to be nice, but this was very problematic for us. Hudson's being named for the river was the way into the New York names for the whole clan. I couldn't see an easy way to make the change.

But in the spirit of being a team-player, we tried to give it a shot.

The following is a hand-written note in my files of possible names. The ones marked with an "x" were actually crossed out by me.

[Castle Logo] Walt Disney Television

Gregory David Weisman

FIRE - x
LONG - x
CONEY - x
SHERIDAN - x
COLUMBIA - x
HARLEM
ROCKEFELLER
MADISON - x
LAGUARDIA - x
SHEA - x
YANKEE - x
TRIBECA - x
SOHO
JERSEY
BATTERY - x
WASHINGTON - x
LINCOLN - x
VERRAZANO NARROWS - x
ROOSEVELT
EMPIRE - x
CHELSEA - x
GRAMMERCY - x
WALL ST. - x
BROAD ST. - x
BOWERY
NOHO - x
HOUSTON - x
BLEEKER - x

After jotting those down, I composed a memo for my boss to see if he wanted to make the change. He didn't have (or at any rate didn't use) e-mail back then. So traditionally, I would send the memo to myself. Print it out and then leave a hard copy with his assistant.

[4] From: Greg Weisman 9/13/93 12:44PM (616 bytes : 28 ln)

To: Greg Weisman, Paul Lacy
Subject: Hudson Names

------------------------------- Message Contents -----------------
Gary, here are some possible alternatives to the name Hudson:

Rockefeller
Roosevelt
Bowery
Harlem

SECOND CHOICES:
Madison
Soho
Jersey
LaGuardia
Shea
Yankee
Tribeca
Battery
Washington
Lincoln
Sheridan
Greenwich
Coney
Grammercy

He returned the same memo to me stamped from his office with the following little note:

RECEIVED BY
SEP 13 1993
GARY KRISEL'S OFFICE

Greg

WHY
1) Would "Hudson" pick his own name?
Keep this for the teens

GK

Having received that note, I then had to go into his office and remind him about the whole naming schema. The fact that we had names for the 'teens' and that the reason we were considering changing Hudson's name was because of the request of this one executive. Gary then considered all this and decided to stay the course. I apologized to the executive but told her we wouldn't be making a change. I felt bad -- a bit. But I also felt sure that we had chosen the correct names.

Another design memo...

We got more designs from WDAJ. Here's our response back to them...

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 8-26-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

This is in response to the designs sent in your fax dated August 21st. (We've looked over the originals you sent as well.) Although we have substantial notes, I want to emphasize that we're learning more with each submission. Things that did not occur to us initially are now becoming clearer. For reference purposes, I'm going to refer to the page numbers of the fax. In the future, you might want to number every drawing on every page for easier reference.

PAGE 3
Seeing the four Gargoyles together raised a number of interesting problems. Goliath seems to have lost some of the upper body bulk that made him so imposing. And Broadway seems to be on an equal level with Goliath. We need to make Goliath more special and unique. And although the trio of Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway must each be unique from each other, we'd like to see the three of them as a natural grouping. As it stands now, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn all seem of a piece, with Lexington as the odd man out.

I might propose the following possible solutions:
--Let's give greater stature to Goliath relative to the other three, particularly Broadway.
--Let's make Goliath the only one of the four who tends to stand erect like a man. If Broadway and Brooklyn existed in a crouch as Lex does, we could cheat all three of them larger and still leave Goliath with greater stature.
--We already have two unique wing constructions (Goliath's and Lexington's), but we could stand to create a third type. Leaving either Brooklyn or Broadway as is, if we gave the other a third style of wing, then when we looked at the trio of younger gargoyles as a unit, each of them would have a unique wing-type and Lexington wouldn't seem like such the odd man out.
--If I haven't mentioned it before, we think of Goliath as being in his late twenties (in Gargoyle years). We think of the trio as being between 17 and 19 years old (in Gargoyle years). Keeping them youthful should also help in making them into a visible unit and still distinguish them from Goliath. Broadway, in particular is looking a bit too old.

PAGES 4 and 5
We'd like to make Goliath more imposing in size. Perhaps by slightly reducing the size of his head relative to his shoulders and chest. Bulking up his upper body.

We're also divided over here on the issue of the tail. Some of us feel it adds an inhuman element to help make Goliath cool and different. Others, just feel it's another thing that'll need to be animated.

Love the way the wings drape on page 5.

PAGE 6
One of Gary Krisel's concerns is that the face have depth. He doesn't want it to look like a mask connected to Goliath's thick neck. I'm not sure I see that problem in these drawings, but it's something to watch out for.

Another important point is Goliath's attitude and expression. He is highly intelligent. Noble. Gary was also concerned that some of the expressions here (and on page 4) made him look a bit like a thug.

A third concern is whether or not we might still have too much pencil mileage in the facial design to animate effectively.

PAGE 7
I love the top two head shots. Goliath looks terrific surprised. And I think the trick with the pupils vanishing in anger is very effective with all the characters. I also like Goliath amused in the lower right corner. But I'm not sure about the lower left shot. I'm not clear what emotion is being expressed. Something about the teeth and maybe the eyes is unappealing. I apologize for not being able to pin down my problem further. Maybe we should reserve his jagged teeth for extreme expressions? I don't know.

PAGE 8
Both poses, particularly the kneeling shot, are wonderful. In the first pose, however, I think we should be cheating his wing-span much, much larger.

Page 9
Great.

Page 10
I like his slimmer "teen" build, but perhaps Brooklyn should "stand" in more of a crouch. Not simply bad posture, but keeping at least three limbs on the ground.

PAGE 11
Again, Brooklyn needs to remain 18 or 19 years old. Particularly in the lower left and right corners he seems much older than that. We also probably need a greater range of expressions. Remember, he is the irrepressible leader of the trio. Out to find adventure. Are his horns too far apart? As opposed to being slicked back like his cool young hair, are the horns scooping up, giving him a more demonic look than necessary? Have we created a mouth that inhibits expression too much? You can see, we have more questions than answers, still.

PAGE 12
I think Lexington works as a basically horizontal character, but we don't want to make him too diminutive relative to the others...stretch him out in poses. Remember that his middle set of limbs function as arms as well as legs.

His wing design may be more complicated than necessary. We may not need the rib construction coming out of his back. For him, it may be enough that he has this wing like webbing between his two upper sets of limbs. Perhaps it's more elastic than draping.

Again, we need to keep him young. Lex is highly curious about the modern world around him. Everything interests him and fills him with wonder. He's more naive and innocent than the others. These qualities should help compensate for his slightly more demonic look.

PAGE 13
My favorite shot is the third from the left on the bottom row. And as usual, the angry glowing eye "battle" version works great. The upper right shot is cute. And I like the surprised version in the second from the left on the bottom row. But we're not getting the sense of wonder or excitement from him in the upper left and upper middle. And I don't really care for the sinister shot of him in the lower left corner. He's not angry or primed for battle (we know this cause his eyes aren't glowing), so I can't figure out what would give him that kind of nasty, almost hungry expression out of a battle context. Again, it may be that using jagged teeth outside of battle mode makes them too demonic. Another question: do his cheekbones need to be so prominent?

PAGES 14
Body-wise, Broadway looks pretty good outside of a context of scale with the others. We like his gut, his sumo-like quality. But like Brooklyn and Lex, he should be a croucher. Like the center on an American football team. And we may want to scale him down; he doesn't necessarily need to be that tall or broad relative to Goliath.

Our biggest concern is that he looks way too old. Mostly in the face, but when scaled with Goliath, as on page 3, in the body as well.

PAGE 15
Again, in all these shots, he looks too old. In some ways, he looks too much like Goliath. He should be a nineteen year old party animal. He just likes to have a great time. Always laughing. The only shot that really works for us here is glowing eyes shot in the lower left corner. In battle, it's appropriate to have the jaw distended and grotesque. In the others, we might try to give him more youth by making his head shape more horizontal than vertical. Less cheekbones, maybe. Rounder, perhaps? I'm not sure.

That's it for now. Looking forward to seeing your next pass.

Thanks. Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Eddy Houchins, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

More correspondence with Tokyo...

Another old memo from my development files. It's pretty self-explanatory.

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 8-4-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

Just a quick note to let you know we all looked at the Clayface episode of Batman that you sent us. We thought it was terrific. If you are confident you can animate to this level, I'm confident we have a great show in the works.

Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

Another memo to Japan...

Here's a follow-up memo on the character designs to the one I just sent praising "Designer E". Mr. Tokunaga sent us a note asking for feedback on the other five designers who had made an attempt on the Trio and Goliath....

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 7-26-93

From: Greg Weisman 818-754-7436

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

Per your request, a quick note on Designs A-D and F, with a reminder that just because the designs didn't suit our purposes, doesn't mean they weren't worthwhile attempts.

Designer A has the action feel of the show, but to be honest, the designs on Goliath, Brooklyn and Lexington were too unappealing. Although the characters are monsters, they need to be heroic monsters. It's a tightrope we're walking, and this group didn't seem redeemable. Broadway was more appealing, but a little goofy looking, and he seemed to be scaled too large.

Designer B was too cartoony on Lexington, Broadway and even Brooklyn. We're looking for more of an action feel. Goliath, particularly in B-7 and B-8, seemed too human. Like a man wearing a mask. Not unique enough. B-10 was a nice pose, though.

Designer C was just too cartoony. And the trio of smaller gargoyles looked more like aliens from another planet than medieval stone creatures.

Designer D's Goliath was an interesting interpretation. D-1, D-2 and D-3 were all nice poses that gave us the feel we were looking for. But in D-3, Goliath seemed too reminiscient of the Beast from Disney's Beauty and the Beast; and we're already a bit too close to that concept for comfort. We don't want to emphasize the similarities further than necessary. And though it seems like a minor point, we all really didn't like his chicken feet. And again, the gargoyle trio seemed too cartoony.

Designer F obviously stuck the closest to our original designs. Even closer than Designer E, whose work we liked. They seem to be simplified tracings, without the wings. I'm not sure how to describe my response, but the magic just seemed to be out of the drawings. The characters seemed unappealing, unexpressive and flat. Everything that E wasn't.

The "GOLIATH SPECIAL by Hashimoto" didn't grab us. Again he seemed like a normal man, an older man, with pointy ears and big hair.

Hope all the above is helpful.

Greg.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

Design work memo...

The following is a memo I sent to Walt Disney Japan. They sent us character designs (based on inspirational work by Greg Guler and Dave Schwartz) on Goliath, Lex, Broadway and Brooklyn by at least five different designers. (Maybe more, I can't remember.) We immediately liked designer E (Kazuyoshi Takeuchi) and he eventually became the lead character designer for the series' first season.

I know what follows may be a tad frustrating since it refers to art you can't see. But I thought you might be interested anyway.

To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga 7-21-93

From: Greg Weisman

Re: GARGOYLES DESIGN WORK

Dear Mr. Tokunaga,

We were very excited to receive the preliminary design work on the four major gargoyle characters. Designer "E" seemed to come the closest to capturing our vision of the series. His or her work impressed us, but begs the question whether or not you believe we could effectively animate designs that are this complex?

If the answer is yes, we'd like to see Designer "E" continue his development of the characters, focusing particularly on heads, faces and wing design. As a secondary concern, we might attempt line drawings, turnarounds and even some color.

Gary and Lenora have asked me to gather together a few notes, thoughts and suggestions for you. So here goes...

GOLIATH
E-1, E-3. A major concern for all of us is figuring out how the wings attach to the gargoyles' backs so that there is a real feeling of believable musculature. How does it look from the rear, for example, when we can't hide where they attach behind a shoulder blade?

E-3, E-4. When the wings are spread, and particularly when they are in flight, we probably want to cheat them larger, so they fill the screen except from an extreme distance. We really need to believe they are large enough to carry his weight.

E-3. We like the dramatic posing on all the shots. But in E-3, he looks satanic rather than heroic. Occasionally, we'd like to see a more classically heroic pose. We want to make sure that Goliath and the others don't look consistently demonic.

E-5. It's lovely how the wings are draped here.

E-2, E-5, E-6. This is a great start in terms of facial expressions. We'd like to see more of them...a greater range of expressions. Intelligent. Laughing. Pensive. Wry. Perplexed. Noble. Mildly amused. Etc.

Gary also has some concerns about the head's design. He wants to make sure that the head or face does not lose its "depth"; (meaning "depth" as a measurement like "width" or "height", not "depth" as a personality trait). I'm not sure I see this problem myself, but I might suggest keeping the ears back, the jawline long and the jaw square.

E-3, E-5. We want to make sure that the hair on his head has mass, but falls like hair, and doesn't look like a removable helmet. The key here might be in the way it is layered.

I've included some old designs done by one of our artists last year. They should give you some ideas on color, simplicity, etc. Don't feel bound by them. I've numbered them for discussion, Disney-1, Disney-2, etc.

In Disney-1, Gary felt very comfortable with the simplicity of the lines and design of the body. But he did not like the head, again feeling it did not have enough depth.

It's also important to set the balance between the animalistic and human in all of these characters. Some of the "Disney" drawings may be too human in the face. And there's a nice animalistic quality about some of the "E" drawings. But we need to be careful we're not losing Goliath's nobility either. We need to strike a balance.

Disney-1 gives an example of the classically heroic pose that we will need on occasion.

Disney-1 also serves to illustrate how we'd like the hair to fall.

Other questions raised by Disney-1, include whether or not Goliath looks broad enough in chest and shoulders?

Also, whether he should have Disney-1's high weight-lifter's belt around his stomach, or whether we should lower it to his waist as in Disney-4?

Disney-4 also illustrates a head shape that may have the depth that Gary's looking for.

Also, notice the arm hair in Disney-1. It's always been a bit problematic, a bit stiff. But we think it might add something in color. Helps break up the design a bit. But we're not sure if it's worth it. It might be something for all of you to experiment with.

Disney-5 helps illustrate how the length of Goliath's wings will constantly be cheated to suit the situation or pose. But they should always give the illusion that if they were spread out to full size, the wing-span would be fairly enormous.

BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON & BROADWAY
E-7, E-9, E-10. We have similar concerns for Brooklyn & Broadway, regarding wing construction, attachment and musculature.

E-8. Lexington's glider-wings in the down-shot seem to be coming out of his stomach and the bottoms of his arms. We prefer how it looks in the up-shot, where they are webbed between his back and the tops of his arms. I like how the wings are attached to both sets of arms, not just the upper arms as in our original designs. A big improvement.

E-7, E-8, E-9. As for faces, Gary is concerned about animating emotions and expressions when we don't have pupils in their eyes. We discussed the possibility that they normally have pupils, but that when they are in battle, their eyes glow solidly. Again we'd like to see a range of expressions. Particularly because it is so easy for the trio (Lexington especially) to look demonic, we'd like to see some softer, gentler expressions.

E-10. We're also interested in the trio's scale relative to Goliath. Goliath should still be the biggest of them by some visible amount.

Thanks again for all your efforts. Good luck on the next go 'round.

cc: Bruce Cranston, Barbara Ferro, Lenora Hume, Gary Krisel, Paul Lacy, Tom Ruzicka, Dave Schwartz.

An old memo...

It's been awhile, but I'd like to try and continue to post old memos and such from my development file.

This is where we left off in July of 1993...

[2] From: Bruce Cranston 7/16/93 10:57AM (801 bytes: 10 ln)

To: Suzanne Prescott
cc: Greg Weisman, Paul Lacy, Adrienne Bello

Subject: CYBERCORP.

------------------------------- Message Contents -------------------------------

In our outline for the Gargoyle's pilot, we refer to a fictional robotics company named CYBERCORP. Adrienne suggested that I have you check that there's no real company by that name. They aren't bad guys or anything. The bad guys steal something from them. But I guess we should check. Does it cost money to check7

It isn't necessary to check it at this point, especially if the clearance fee is more than $100.00 or so.
Please just remember to do a check once we get the go-ahead to production.

Memo for "Avalon, Parts Two and Three"

In preparation for my ramblings, here's the memo written to Brynne Chandler Reaves & Lydia C. Marano on the last two parts of their Avalon outline. I've added a few [notes], to indicate some handwritten changes to the document.

WEISMAN 2-2-95

Notes on "Avalon, Parts Two and Three" Outline...

GENERAL

ARCHMAGESES
For purposes of clarity, I'm going to refer to the new and improved Archmage as Archmage+. There will be a number of scenes where the Archmage and the Archmage+ will be appearing together. And a few scenes (including one scene repeated twice) where two Archmage+s will appear together. For those scenes I'll refer to them as 1st Archmage+ and 2nd Archmage+, but they'll look exactly alike.

CLARITY
It goes without saying that any time travel episode is going to be complex. So make an extra effort to be as clear as possible. Both in stage description for the artists, and in dialogue for the audience. I know we resist expository dialogue generally. But as you'll see below, the Archmage+ needs to explain things to the Archmage. So it won't feel artificial.

ACT BREAKS
I'm going to leave that up to you. See how the scripts progress.

BEAT SHEET
"Avalon, Part Two"
1. Pick up right where we left off. Pretty much your beat XX. Tom does need to explain that he still refers to the gargoyles as
"eggs". It's an old habit. He apologizes if it caused confusion, but they have been in Avalon long enough for him to grow old. Of course the eggs hatched some time ago.

Also none of the wounded gargoyles should be at the shore. We'll see them back at the palace.

Also don't forget that Angela has Goliath's coloring, which doesn't escape Elisa's notice. And on your Beat XXB1c. the line should expand to: "Daughters and sons belong to all of us, Elisa. That is the gargoyle way."

2. At Oberon's palace. Pretty much your beat XXI. But keep in mind, that the palace is in crisis mode. Acting as a hospital of sorts, to many wounded gargoyles.

Elisa should notice the tenderness between Tom and Katharine when they are reunited. She should also notice the pain it causes the Magus.

Don't forget to describe the Magus as 72 years old. Also describe Gabriel as looking like a young Othello with Desdemona's coloring.

The fact that the young gargoyles act more human than the trio may be too fine a point to get across. They've been raised by humans, but as a practical matter a lot of what we would think of as human is really just contemporary. And obviously, the trio are much more contemporary than these gargoyles.

You need some reason why Tribeca doesn't already have a name. Maybe, Katharine and Tom had tried not to name any of the gargoyles at first, but it just got too difficult for them with the sentient ones. But they didn't bother to name the Beasts? [We dropped the Tribecca notion eventually, and Tribeca became Boudicca. -GW 5/21/02]

Also, both Gabriel and Tribeca will be present in beat 1. So you may want to introduce them there along with Angela. That frees Beat 2 to reintro Katharine and the Magus. (Magus may be acting as a healer, using natural remedies and polstices.)

When Magus makes his point about Oberon's Children having been absent for nearly 1000 years, he might slip in a subtle reference to the sleeping King. (i.e. Arthur.) Something like: "The island's totally deserted except for the sleeping king." And then before anyone has a chance to ask about the sleeping king, something forces a change of topic.

3. Pretty much your beat XXII. Except that the Magus and Tom should probably be the ones to go into detail. The Magus knew the Archmage the best. He'd recognize that the Archmage has evolved into the Archmage+. If the Magus wasn't positive that the Grimorum cannot be brought onto Avalon, he'd swear that the Archmage+ had it. Plus when the Archmage appeared, he carried the Phoenix Gate and wore the Eye of Odin. Goliath realizes that those items must have been stolen from him.

Tom led the first disastrous attack. He saw Demona (doesn't know her name, but recognized her as Goliath's former love) plus some human in strange armor who used a weapon that fired lightning (Macbeth) and the Weird Sisters who once guarded the island. Again Goliath and Elisa can put two and two together. Macbeth and Demona never escaped the Weird Sisters. The Sisters have been using them all along. When Demona and Macbeth stole Coldstone, it was just a cover to steal the Eye, the Gate and the Grimorum. They must have given the items to the Archmage.

All Tom knows is that the Archmage+ is incredibly powerful. So powerful, he sometimes seemed to be in two places at once.

4. Enemy camp. Obviously, somewhere on the island, but where? In or in front of a cave? Someplace pleasant and relaxing, since the villains have every reason to be confident? I'll call it the GROTTO for easy reference, but anywhere is fine. [In the margin, I wrote: "Vengeance Angle"]

Present are the 3 Weird Sisters, Demona, Macbeth and... TWO Archmage+s. Each carries his own Phoenix Gate. And each wears his own Eye, (maybe imbedded like a third eye in his forehead?). They are dressed in black. Their beards are short. Maybe a metal skullcap (ala Merlin in EXCALIBUR). All very dangerous looking in contrast to the cliché Archmage that we knew.

1st Archmage+ says to 2nd Archmage+: "Shouldn't you be going?"
2nd Archmage+: "I suppose I should." 1st Archmage+: "You know what to do?" 2nd Archmage+: "Of course. I watched you do it." So the 2nd Archmage+ raises his Phoenix Gate and says the Phoenix Gate spell, disappearing into the past (see "Vows").

5. We follow 2nd Archmage+ back to 984 A.D. (He can even say: "First stop: 984 A.D." He can have a lot of attitude.) He arrives just outside the cave and secretly watches the battle between young Goliath, Hudson, Demona and the original Archmage ("Long Way To Morning"). (Again, he can fill us in, by commenting on it wryly to himself.) The Archmage loses the Grimorum and falls into the bottomless fissure, the Archmage+ uses the Phoenix Gate to pop into the fissure. He then uses the gate to transport himself and the Archmage to safety.

6. A hilltop or someplace safe. The Phoenix Gate deposits both the Archmage and the Archmage+ a few feet above the ground. The Archmage+ floats. He says "Freeze". And the Archmage freezes in mid-air. The Archmage+ says "Feathers". And a huge pile of feathers appears right below the Archmage. Archmage+: "Resume". And the Archmage tumbles into the pile of feathers.

We get some sputtering and outrage from the Archmage. And introductions. Archmage+ is his future self. Archmage realizes that means sometime in the future he accomplishes his goal of getting the Eye and the Gate. But what of the Grimorum? Archmage wants Archmage+ to use the Gate to go back and take the Grimorum back from the Gargoyles. Archmage+ says they can't accomplish their goals that way because they didn't accomplish it that way. History cannot be changed. But don't worry. We'll get the Grimorum. He uses the Gate and they both vanish again. [In the margins, by these two paragraphs, I wrote: "You want power, revenge. Allies Soldiers Weapons Base]

7. They reappear in 995 A.D. just in time to see the Magus use the Grimorum to reflect the Weird Sister's spell, turning all three of them into owls. (Archmage+ continues to use one word commands like "Float" and "Invisible" to keep them above water and undetectable. His command of magic is that complete. He can also fill Archmage and audience in on where and when they are, fairly naturally in dialogue.) Archmage recognizes his former apprentice the Magus, who's obviously grown into a potent sorcerer. But the fool just hands over the Grimorum, his source of Power, to Finella. Archmage thinks he understands now. They'll take the Grimorum from Finella. But Archmage+ says no. That's not why they're here. They're here to recruit. [In the margin, I again wrote: "Allies"]

Once all the various skiffs have moved on, the Archmage+ finds the three owls and transforms them back into the Weird Sisters. The Sisters are furious that they were defeated. When Oberon forced all of his "Children" to mingle with the mortals of the real world he had left the guarding of Avalon in their supposedly capable hands. Oberon will be very pissed off that they failed. Archmage+ offers them a chance to get even. It will take time though. The Weird Sisters don't mind. Time is one thing they have plenty of. "Then," says the Archmage+, "I will see you again in twenty-five years." And with that, he uses the gate and vanishes with the Archmage.

8. The year is 1020 A.D. ("City of Stone, Part One") and the Archmages appear via the gate. They meet up with the Weird Sisters. The Archmage+ shows them a vision of the forty year old Demona, the fifteen year old Macbeth and their enemy the HUNTER. [In the margin, I wrote: "Soldiers"] The Archmage+ wants the Weird Sisters to help Demona and Macbeth defeat the Hunter. Weird Sisters remind him that Oberon's Law prevents them from directly intervening in the lives of mortals. Archmage+ knows they are magically prevented from breaking Oberon's Law. But he also knows that they can bend it quite a bit. O.K., fine. But how does helping Demona and Macbeth do anything to help the Sisters and the Archmages achieve their goals? Archmage+ tells them that in order to achieve these goals, they will need powerful warriors, fighters adept at sorcery and weaponry, fighters we can control. These two are the perfect candidates. Guide them, help them, protect them for the next twenty years. The Archmage+ will return then with further instructions. The Weird Sisters agree and depart.

Archmage isn't too happy about this. He recognizes Demona as another of his former apprentices. One who betrayed him by losing the Phoenix Gate "years, uh... decades ago." Why are we helping her? Archmage+ tells him not to worry. This is our revenge. Believe me, we're not doing the gargoyle any favors. And again, he uses the Phoenix Gate to make them both disappear.

9. They reappear in 1040. The Weird Sisters report that they have done their best to aide Demona and Macbeth. The first Hunter is dead. But there is a new one now who's even more dangerous. Archmage+ is very pleased. He knows that Demona and Macbeth will arrive soon. He instructs the Sisters to guide them into making a magical pact that will link their life energy together. We will need them alive and vital centuries from now. We must make them immortal. [In the margin, I again wrote: "Soldiers".]

Sisters and Archmage are confused. Immortal warriors are powerful. How will we control them? Trust me, says Archmage+.

Archmage+ renders him and the Archmage invisible, just in time to see the fifty year old Demona and the 35 year old Macbeth enter. ("City of Stone, Part 3") We see the Weird Sisters link them magically.

Afterwards, the Sisters explain that the job is done. Neither can die, unless one kills the other. Excellent, says the Archmage+. Keep an eye on the two of them. Also keep an eye out for the Grimorum, the Gate and the Eye of Odin. The Weird Sisters are confused. Archmage+ has the Eye and the Gate. Archmage+ laughs. But I didn't have them. Not until you brought them to me. We'll meet again on an island called "Manhattan"... in 955 years.

Archmage: "Nine-HUNDRED and fifty-five years?!!" But before he can protest, the Archmage+ uses the gate to transport them both away.

10. 1995. Manhattan. Weird Sisters as NYC Fashion Models rendezvous at Tavern on the Green, with the Archmages. Archmage+ says: "Disguise". And he and the Archmage, seem to be wearing modern clothes. Over a pleasant candlelit dinner, the Sisters fill us in. All three magical talismans have fallen into the hands of this gargoyle... and an image of Goliath appears in the candlelight. Archmage recognizes Goliath, and can't believe that he survived this far into the future. Archmage+ says, "This isn't the future yet."

Archmage+ asks about Demona and Macbeth. Sisters respond that both are phenomenal fighters, proficient with modern technology and weaponry and half-decent sorcerers to boot. Plus each warrior has his or her own agenda. Demona is determined to wipe out humanity. And Macbeth is equally determined to wipe out Demona, even though he knows it will cost him his own life. They will be very difficult to control. Archmage+: "Yes, yes, but what are they up to now?" [And yet again, I wrote "Soldiers" in the margin.] The Sisters believe that Demona is about to cast a powerful spell to turn everyone in Manhattan into stone. Macbeth will take this opportunity to hunt her down.

Archmage+ is very pleased. He advises the Sisters to help Goliath defeat both Demona and Macbeth. Make your final move after they've fought each other, but before Macbeth has a chance to end their lives. At that point they will be weakened enough for the Sisters to put a sleep spell on them. Then bring them to me. Where? Macbeth's home on this island.

[Optional, if you have space: The sisters exit. Archmage+ asks the Archmage if he'd like to watch the action. Archmage says yes. Archmage+ says: "Somehow I knew that."]

Archmage+ uses Gate and both disappear.

[Optional, if you have space:
11. Invisible Archmages watch a replay of the final scenes from the end of City of Stone, Part Four. The ones where the Weird Sisters help Goliath talk Macbeth out of killing Demona. Put them both to sleep. Tell Goliath that they will take responsibility for them and vanish with them. The Archmages depart as well.]

12. Macbeth's mansion. The Archmages appear as do the Sisters with Macbeth and Demona. The latter two are sound asleep. The Archmage+ whispers to the sleeping warriors. He "suggests" that they work together to steal the Grimorum, the Gate and the Eye from Goliath. The Sisters provide the clock tower location, and suggest that they steal Coldstone as well. That way the theft of the talismans won't be detected immediately. Demona and Macbeth leave together to carry out this plan, completely fogged about how it came to them or why they are working together. [By the margin of both paragraphs 12 & 13, I wrote: "Weapons".]

Archmage asks about Coldstone. Weird Sisters say he is another warrior that might be of use to them. Archmage+ shakes his head. Coldstone wasn't part of the plan, so he can't be now. If his presence aids in the theft of the talismans, fine. But he must be separated from Demona and Macbeth, before the next stage of the plan can be set in motion. They will meet again at the watery door to Avalon.

[Optional:
13. Invisible Archmages watch Demona and Macbeth steal the Eye, the Grimorum and the Gate from the secret hiding place in the clocktower from "High Noon".]

14. The Archmages reappear above misty water. Archmage+ says: "Boat". And a boat magically appears beneath them. They float down to it. While they wait for the sisters, Archmage demands to know the plan. Archmage+ finally fills him in: "Soon the sisters will bring you the talismans. The ultimate magical power that you've always dreamed of. [In the margin, I wrote: "Base".] But once you get that power, what will you do with it?" Archmage is baffled. He hadn't thought that far ahead. He mutters something about conquering Scotland. Archmage+ suggests conquering the world, but warns that it will not be easy. The modern world is a place of science not sorcery. Magic is potent, but so are modern weapons. The Archmage will need a safe place to launch his attacks from. That haven is Avalon. The only problem is Avalon is occupied. Fortunately, Oberon and his children have abandoned it. But there are a few humans and gargoyles living there. Our first job is to kill them. The Archmage is very pleased with his counterpart's plan.

The Sisters join them on the raft, along with entranced Demona, entranced Macbeth and the three talismans. The sisters warn the Archmages that the Gate and the Eye are not a problem, but the Grimorum is a book of human sorcery. It cannot enter Avalon. Archmage+ is unconcerned: "Give him the Eye." Seline gives the Archmage the Eye of Odin. The Archmage puts it on. The Archmage+ explains that the Eye grants power and insight. It makes the wearer a more powerful version of himself. It usually takes weeks to transform an individual, but the Archmage+ has the ability to speed things up. "Change," he says. And the Archmage begins to metamorphose -- painfully -- into another Archmage+.

When the metamorphosis is complete, the 1st Archmage+ tells the 2nd Archmage+ that he now has the power of the world's greatest and, frankly, most evil sorcerer. But he lacks the knowledge. The exhausted 2nd Archmage+ gets the message. He asks Phoebe to give him the Grimorum. He uses his new-found power to swallow it hole. The 1st Archmage+ is very pleased. Now he is one with the magic, and there's no need to worry about bringing the Grimorum to Avalon. Even Luna is impressed. She hands the 2nd Archmage+ the Phoenix Gate, completing his power. 1st Archmage+: Shall we proceed?

[Note: I circled paragraphs 15, 16 and the first paragraph of 17 and wrote: "One Beat" in the margin and "But show it to us." By 15, I also wrote "Base".]

15. The 1st Archmage+ materializes in the palace of Oberon, in front of Katharine, Tom, the Magus. He tells them to "Make your peace, for at sundown, you die." He uses the gate to disappear again.

16. He reappears in the Grotto, joining the 2nd Archmage+, the Sisters, Demona and Macbeth. One of them spots Angela and Gabriel watching them and sneaking away. Demona asks if she should stop them. No, says the 1st Archmage+, they'll be back.

17. Sure enough, Tom the Guardian leads the gargoyles against the villains. It's a disaster. Many gargoyles are wounded. None of them can fight on a level with either Macbeth or Demona. Let alone the futuristic weapons that they bring. The Weird Sisters avoid direct interference, but still manage to use their magic to ensnare their opponents in their environment. And the Archmage+ is everywhere, popping in and out, using the Gate, vanishing. Using magic. He's devastating. (During the fight, play the two Archmage+s so that Tom might say something like "It was like he could be in two places at once." As opposed to Tom realizing that there are two of them.)

Tom is forced to sound retreat.

[I marked the rest of seventeen and 18 and wrote "combine" in the margin.]

Demona and Macbeth want to pursue and finish them off. But the 1st Archmage+ is supremely confident. Why bother? If we wait until Dawn, the gargoyles will all be stone. Only the Guardian, the Princess and the Magus will be left to defend the palace. It's so much easier to sit back and enjoy the cool breeze for a few more hours. [In the margin, I wrote: "Waiting for Goliath. Important. Vengeance. He wants Goliath.]

Luna asks: "What about the sleeping King?" The 2nd Archmage+ is surprised. He had heard the legends of the sleeping king, but didn't know that they were true. Seline assures him the King is on the island, asleep. Phoebe warns that the King's power was once very great. 1st Archmage+: "Then when once we've taken the island, we'll just make sure he never wakes up."

18. Time cut to a few hours later.
1st Archmage+ says to 2nd Archmage+: "Shouldn't you be going?"
2nd Archmage+: "I suppose I should." 1st Archmage+: "You know what to do?" 2nd Archmage+: "Of course. I watched you do it." So the 2nd Archmage+ raises his Phoenix Gate and says the Phoenix Gate spell, disappearing into the past. Obviously, this is an exact repeat of Beat 4, and finally leaves us with only one Archmage+ for the rest of the story. Archmage+ makes some comment about how the other one was getting on his nerves.

19. AND Finally, we return to the present and resume from beat 3 with our heroes in the palace. Tom picks up his story where he left off. After, there disastrous mass attack on the Grotto, they all realized they were in deep shit. Sunrise was only six hours away. They thought about hiding the gargoyles, but realized there was no place on the island where the Weird Sisters couldn't find them. They had to get help. Tom ventured out by skiff to the real world. As he had done once every century. The skiff landed at Wyvern, and Tom was shocked to see that the castle was missing. He went to a local village, where he was told that the castle had been moved to the top of a skyscraper in a place called NEW York. Tom picks up on the word "skyscraper". Is it possible that the castle has risen above the clouds? One villager's seen it in New York. It's definitely above some of the clouds. (You can show this village scene in flashback if you have space or time.) Tom returns to his skiff, returns to Avalon, and launches off again, praying that Avalon will send him to this NEW York. (Hinting that he doesn't have a lot of control.)

Sure enough he found New York and Goliath and brought him and his friends back. But the mission took two days in the real world. That's two hours here on Avalon. There's only four hours left until sunrise.

Tom apologizes to Goliath. He's tried to train the gargoyles to be warriors, but he's self-taught himself. Plus Avalon always seemed so peaceful, etc. Protective instinct must never have developed. Maybe if Goliath led the next attack... But Goliath is sure Tom did his best. Sometimes a direct attack isn't the answer. Sometimes stealth is required. If we can steal the Gate and the Eye back from the Archmage, we may have a chance. Goliath will need someone who knows the island. Gabriel and Angela both volunteer. Fine. Goliath asks the Magus to come as well. His magic might prove useful. The Magus cannot meet Goliath's gaze. He hesitates. Finally, he says that without the Grimorum he has no magic and would be a liability to Goliath. Elisa wants to come, but Goliath asks her to stay behind. If this mission fails, Tom and the others will need her expertise on dealing with Demona and Macbeth. Goliath, Angela and Gabriel depart. After they go, Elisa turns to the Magus and asks: Tell me about the sleeping King.

20. They sneak into the grotto and for a beat it looks like they might succeed in their mission. But no. They are caught. Woops. [In the margin, I wrote: "Arch+ sees them coming."]

END PART TWO

START PART THREE
21. Looks like curtains for our three heroes. Goliath even resorts to making an appeal to Demona and Macbeth. Can't they see they're being used. Does it suit Macbeth's sense of honor to wait 'til dawn to slaughter innocent gargoyles. Demona hates humans, but why would she help the Archmage hurt her own children. It doesn't make sense to Demona and Macbeth. They start to come out of the spell. But the Archmage+ is just amused by Goliath's pleas. With one word: "Obey", Demona and Macbeth are again his to command. Fortunately, rescue comes from another quarter. Bronx and Tribeca. To some extent, the rescue only succeeds because the Archmage+ is complacently amused. He likes watching the little mice run the maze. In a few hours it'll be all over anyway.

22. Goliath and Co. return to the palace. The mission was a failure.

[Note: the following paragraph was crossed out.]
But not a complete failure, says Angela. In the confusion, she got away with the Phoenix Gate. Angela wants to use it to go back in time and stop the Archmage+ before he arrives. Can't be done, explains Goliath. History cannot be changed. He's learned that lesson, painfully. Can they escape to the future? They'd be abandoning Avalon. The situation they arrived in might be even worse. Better to make their stand now. Well could they use it flee the island? This time Gabriel says no. This is his home, the only one he's ever known. He will protect it, not abandon it! Goliath is impressed. The gargoyle way is strong in Gabriel. But Angela's disappointed. Stealing the gate didn't help very much. Goliath assures her, that it helped a lot. They've taken away the Archmage's mobility. And gained some for themselves. The Gate doesn't have to be used for time travel. It can be used just to move instantly from place to place. But how will that help? Goliath isn't sure yet.

Hey, where's Elisa and the Magus?

23. Elisa and the Magus journey to the "Hollow Hill" where sleeps the sleeping King. (It's Merlin who sleeps in the Crystal Cave. At least by my research.) Maybe they have some time to talk. Elisa has noticed that Tom and Katharine are close. The Magus tells her that as the boy Tom became a man, he and the Princess fell in love. (Again, if you have the room and/or the inclination, you can show this in flashback.) Now they are husband and wife. They raised the gargoyles as their own children. Elisa wonders where the Magus fits in. I don't, he says. But his feelings for Katharine are also obvious to Elisa. How could he stand to stay and watch them grow closer? He had to stay. He had done an unforgivable thing when he cast his spell upon the gargoyles. He owed it to Goliath to tend the eggs. His pain is not important.

24. They arrive at the Hollow Hill. They see the sleeping King. He lies on a bed, surrounded by arms and gold and jewels. They move to wake him, but are intercepted by two hollow suits of armor. Elisa empties her revolver into one, but it's pretty useless. Suddenly the Magus casts a rhyming spell. (Rhyming in English, not Latin.) The armor is defeated, though it leaves the Magus drained. Elisa is shocked. She thought the Magus had lost his magic. He had. Centuries ago when he lost the Grimorum. But the island is full of magic. It is everywhere: in the wind, in the water, in the trees and certainly in this hollow hill. His training makes him sensitive to it, but summoning it without study is very hard. It's an unpredictable and often unsuccessful endeavor. He cannot be counted on.

Elisa approaches the sleeping King. For the very first time in this three parter, we hear someone speak his name. Elisa: "Arthur Pendragon. King Arthur. You are needed." And King Arthur awakens. It's that easy.

Suddenly Goliath and Angela appear via the Phoenix Gate. [The phrase 'via the Phoenix Gate' was crossed out.] What did Elisa think she was doing? Elisa realized that Demona and Macbeth are two of the greatest warriors of all time. It's a hard truth, but even Goliath has never actually bested either of them. The best he ever did was foil their plans or fight them to a draw. They needed someone better. They needed the best warrior who ever lived. Arthur clears his throat. Would someone please tell him what's going on? Angela's excited. In a minute, she says, and using the Gate, teleports them all away. ["and using the Gate, teleports them all away." was crossed out.]

[From this point out, stuff in {} is crossed out material.]

25. Back at the Grotto, The Archmage+ {has only just discovered that the gate is missing. He} is furious, and his demeanor does not improve when the Sisters wryly blame his own hybris and complacency. Fine, he says. Then we will attack now.

26. Back at the palace, Arthur's just heard the gist of the situation. He's not thrilled. This isn't what he was supposed to be awakened for. He doesn't have Excalibur. He doesn't have his knights or Merlin... But he looks around the room and sees the faces of those who need him. He will do what he can. Gabriel enters. They're out of time. The villains approach. Arthur will lead Tom, Elisa and Gabriel against Macbeth and Demona. Goliath and Angela will {use the Gate to} face off against the Archmage. Katharine, Bronx and Tribeca (and whatever other healthy N.D. Gargoyles we've shown) will stay with the wounded gargoyles and do their best to protect them. But who will take on the Three Weird Sisters. I will, says the Magus.

27. The battle. O.K. This is going to be a big one. You want to have space for it, cause it's the fight we've been building towards for THIRTY-SIX EPISODES, so we've got to make it worthwhile. (Also we have tons and tons of epiloguing in this one, so we need the audience to feel like they want a good long rest after the mega-battle is done.) You'll do a lot of intercutting between the various fronts. But for clarity here, I'll take them one at a time. (Also feel free to adjust or expand on any of the details... I'm just trying to give a big picture overview.)

ARTHUR, ELISA, GABRIEL, GUARDIAN vs. MACBETH & DEMONA
The Archmage+ has sent his two warriors as an advance force to soften up the enemy. Macbeth is impressed by this new warrior. He asks his name, and when he hears that it's Arthur, we can see that he's momentarily shaken by it. He's an Arthur-buff. A great admirer. Well. He's always wanted to test himself against the best. For his part, Arthur's quick to figure out that when either Macbeth or Demona are hurt, both feel the pain. He instructs his troops to use that to their advantage. Demona realizes that she must put some distance between herself and Macbeth. She'll still feel his pain, but not as severely. She gets past Arthur's force and into the castle. Arthur sends Gabe, Elisa and Tom in after her. He'll handle Macbeth.

ARTHUR VS. MACBETH
Macbeth is quickly deprived of his lightning gun. Both wind up using medieval weapons. It may even come down to hand to hand combat. Finally Arthur wins.

DEMONA vs. KATHARINE, BRONX, TRIBECA
Demona gets into the palace. She is confronted by Bronx and Tribeca, but they don't stop her. She finds her way to Katharine and the wounded gargoyles. We need to see by this time that Demona's bloodlust is so high, that there's no chance of talking her down again. The spell on her has worked her into such a froth that she can't see that what she's doing is against her own interests. She's a brainwashed assassin. Katharine is ready to die for her charges, and it looks like she might have to.

DEMONA vs. GABRIEL, GUARDIAN, ELISA
They arrive just in time, Gabriel and Guardian save Katharine temporarily. But they're no real match for Demona either. She's about to kill them all, when Elisa says wouldn't you rather have me. And there it is. Someone Demona hates so much, that no spell is more powerful. She leaps at Elisa, giving the others time to regroup. Ultimately, Demona is taken down by sheer force of numbers. Maybe Elisa gives the takedown blow.

MAGUS vs. THE WEIRD SISTERS.
They can't believe this old, impotent man is challenging them again. Without his precious Grimorum, no less. But he rises to the occasion. It's a sorcerers battle, so have a lot of fun with it. And the Magus wins by trapping them. Probably in some kind of iron or some kind of chain. (But here's a thought, that only just occurred to me. Should the Magus give his life in this fight, i.e. be mortally wounded during it. Maybe drained beyond any hope of recovery? He would be the one real casualty of the battle. Goliath would of course forgive him on his death bed as the old man passed away, finally at peace, maybe with Katharine's kiss on his lips. I know we planned on sending him off with Arthur, but I can't help wondering if we didn't make this fight to easy on our heroes. Isn't it necessary for them to lose something truly precious, i.e. the life of a friend? I have very mixed feelings, cause I like the character a lot. I could probably be swayed either way. Before you go to script on part three, talk this over with both me and Adrienne [Bello, our S&P executive].)

GOLIATH, ANGELA vs. ARCHMAGE+
Goliath attacks directly. And is really being trounced. The Archmage+ has not forgotten how Goliath defeated him back in "Long Way to Morning". He's really punishing Goliath. But that was part of the plan. Angela uses the gate to {bop in, and} throw the overconfident Archmage+ off balance. {She and} Goliath {toss the gate back and forth between them. They vanish and reappear.} The Archmage+'s magic still is formidable, but the tactic is infuriating him, which makes him sloppy. Finally, Goliath manages to grab the Eye and wrench it off the Archmage+. (Note: As in Eye of the Beholder, this should be damn painful for Goliath.) The Archmage+ immediately metamorphoses back into the old Archmage. But he's not through yet. He's still got all the power of the Grimorum inside him. But without the Eye to contain that power, he has a problem. You see you're not supposed to bring human magic onto Avalon. The Grimorum is burning him up from the inside out. Nothing gory, but he is destroyed in magical flames. It is over.

28. Epilogue time. Goliath realizes that the Eye and the Gate were not meant for mortals to use. He swears never to use either of them again. (He'll break this promise later, but it at least explains why he doesn't immediately use the Gate to take him, Elisa and Bronx back to Manhattan). He and Angela gladly walk back to the palace.

29. It is now only ten minutes until sunrise. Decisions must be made. They ask Goliath if it is safe for the Gargoyles out in the real world. Unfortunately, no. Not really. They invite him to bring the other gargoyles back to Avalon. No. That won't work either. Some of them must continue to live in the real world. Learn to live with humans. It will take time, but if they don't try, the outside world will never be safe for gargoyles again. Given that Goliath is willing to take any gargoyle who wants to leave. From here, you can pretty much pick up back on your outline: BEAT XXXX. (Though obviously if we kill the Magus, Arthur's leaving alone.)

30. Pretty much your Beat XXXXI. Arthur (and the Magus?) leave first. Also we have to deal with Macbeth and Demona. They can still be unconscious. The trapped Weird Sisters are forced to free Demona and Macbeth from the spell. They tell our heroes that neither warrior will remember anything that happened to them since the spell was first cast in City of Stone, Part Four. Somehow, we have to rationalize sending them off unconscious on a skiff of their own. Good luck. Finally our 4 travelers leave for Manhattan, poling out into the misty water. But Tom knows from experience that "Avalon does not take you where you want to go. Avalon takes you where you need to be."

That's it. Call me with any problems or questions, and in any case let's talk about the Magus.

"THE PRICE": "Final" Draft Script

This script is listed as a "Final Draft" after I took my pass on it. But skimming it, I'm not sure how final it actually was. It may have still gone through some changes, both before and after record.

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

Written by:
Michael Reaves

Based on comic book material by:
Lee Nordling

Revised draft: January 25, 1995
Final draft: February 1, 1995

Story Editor:
Michael Reaves

WALT DISNEY TV ANIMATION

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

CAST LIST

REGULARS
GOLIATH
HUDSON There is also a stone statue of Hudson in a typical sleep pose.
BROOKLYN
BROADWAY
LEXINGTON
ELISA

XANATOS
OWEN

RECURRING
MACBETH Actually a robot, (actually two robots), but visually indistinguishable from the real thing. He only speaks four lines, using them over and over.
BANQUO From 4319-022. Seven lines.
FLEANCE From 4319-022. Five lines.
STEEL CLAN ROBOT No lines.

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - NIGHT - PANORAMIC POV

A spectacular gargoyle's eye view of the city, covered by a thick pelt of snow. CAMERA MOVES SLOWLY through the maze of skyscrapers. Below, headlights and neon signs play prismatic colors. An enchanting vista.

LEXINGTON (V.O.)
Boy, the city sure is different
when it snows.

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As GOLIATH, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON and HUDSON ride the night wind.

BROOKLYN
Yeah -- it's colder.

FAVOR GOLIATH - PANNING

He permits himself a small smile.

GOLIATH
It's almost dawn, and we've
completed our patrol. Let's
return to the clock tower for
a good day's sleep.

FAVOR HUDSON - PANNING

He looks contented.

HUDSON
Not a bad life, all things
considered ...

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Suddenly an ELECTRO-BLAST CRACKLES THROUGH SHOT, missing them narrowly and causing them all to scatter.

GARGOYLES
(surprised cries)

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN

He recovers his equilibrium, looks O.S. and reacts in shock.

BROOKLYN
Yeah ...

HIS POV

of MACBETH, swooping around on a return path, riding a small open-air flying platform supported and propelled by a repulsor device.

BROOKLYN (O.S. CONT'D)
Too bad he wants to end it!

WIDE ANGLE - INCLUDE OTHERS

Hovering as Macbeth heads toward them again, aiming one of his electro-magnetic guns. (NOTE: We will learn later that this Macbeth is a robot, one of several constructed by Xanatos. For now, treat him as the real thing.)

HUDSON
(shocked)
Macbeth!

They scatter as another LIGHTENING BLAST RIPS THROUGH SHOT.

MACBETH
I've been looking for you!

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He folds his wings, drops, peels out O.S. During this:

GOLIATH
Spread out! Attack formation!

EXTREME WIDE

The gargoyles split up and swoop toward Macbeth from opposite directions in a pincers strategy.

GOLIATH
I don't know how you escaped
the Weird Sisters, Macbeth --

BROOKLYN
But you're gonna wish you hadn't!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Macbeth's platform suddenly shoots straight up out of the gargoyles' paths. Our guys only manage to avoid colliding with each other by adroit maneuvering.

GARGOYLES
(startled cries)

FOLLOW MACBETH

He does a steep glide and turn, FIRING down O.S. as he does.

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He narrowly dodges a CRACKLING RAY. As he flies:

GOLIATH
Why do you attack us? What do
you want?

ON MACBETH - FLYING

Intent, murder in his eyes. He raises the gun again.

MACBETH
(laughs)
Trophies!

He sends a ray CRACKLING directly at us.

REVERSE ANGLE - BROOKLYN

The ray ZAPS him, causing him to fall O.S.

BROOKLYN
(stunned grunt)

ON GOLIATH

Reacting in shock. He dives down O.S.

ON BROOKLYN

Semi-stunned, dropping in a steep glide, about to pass out entirely. Goliath swoops INTO SHOT and grabs him.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOF

He glides to it and deposits his stunned comrade safely on a snow-covered ledge. (STORYBOARD NOTE: During these last shots the eastern horizon is starting to glow with Pre-Dawn light.)

CLOSER ON GOLIATH

He launches himself from the rooftop again.

ON LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY

Heading toward us, grim and intent.

BROADWAY
We'd better finish this fast. The
sun's about to come up.

ON MACBETH

He triggers a control on the platform's console. A small canister shoots out O.S. from the platform's base.

TRACK WITH LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY

The canister sails IN, BURSTS apart and releases a rapidly-expanding net that settles over them. They react, but too late.

LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
(surprised walla)

ANOTHER ANGLE

The net ELECTRIFIES, shocking both of them into unconsciousness.

LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
(cries of pain)

ON ROOFTOP

They tumble down and CRASH on the rooftop beside the unconscious Brooklyn.

FOLLOW HUDSON

He catches an updraft and wheels about, drawing his sword.

TRACK WITH MACBETH

As he flies. Hudson is heading right for him.

HUDSON
(growls)

CLOSER ON MACBETH

He dips his hand into one of his coat's many pockets, and as Hudson comes at him he hurls a small packet right into the gargoyle's face. The packet hits Hudson and BURSTS, scattering a sparkling mist of white glittery powder all over him.

HUDSON
(surprised sputter)

ON FLYING PLATFORM

The craft drops, letting Hudson sail on O.S.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOFTOP

Temporarily blinded, Hudson CRASHES on the rooftop alongside the still-unconscious Trio.

HUDSON
(impact grunt)

He rises to his knees, frustrated. He pulls the net off of Broadway and Lex.

TRACK WITH PLATFORM

Suddenly Goliath, eyes white, drops down INTO SHOT above Macbeth, grabbing him from behind in a bear hug.

GOLIATH
(growls)

ANOTHER ANGLE

Macbeth manages to twist his weapon back. He fires it right into Goliath's side, blasting him off the platform.

MACBETH
You'll have to do better than that!

GOLIATH
(cry of pain)

ON SKYSCRAPER PINNACLE

Goliath manages to land atop the pinnacle of a building which rises to a needle-like spire. He grips the spire with one hand, head drooping in a dazed slump, looking like King Kong just before taking that final dive.

GOLIATH
(dazed groan)

TRACK WITH MACBETH

He turns on the platform and aims his ray gun down O.S.

MACBETH
Farewell, my enemies!

ANGLE INCLUDES

RACK FOCUS from the lightening gun and Macbeth's hand in EXTREME f.g. to the trio and Hudson in b.g.

CLOSER ON HUDSON AND TRIO

The Trio's starting to revive, but won't recover in time. Hudson protectively steps between them and Macbeth.

TRIO
(groans)

ON GOLIATH

He reacts in horror as he sees the O.S. Macbeth's intention. His eyes blaze white.

GOLIATH
No!

Clinging to the pinnacle with one hand and both feet, he SNAPS off the six-foot long tip of the spire.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath hurls the spire like a javelin with all his strength.

GOLIATH
(effort grunt)

DRAMATIC ANGLE - MACBETH

Just as he's about to trigger the ray gun the spire arrows INTO SHOT and SKEWERS the flying platform's control console. There's a huge ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE, and the platform goes into a dive.

WIDE ANGLE

All the gargoyles (the trio have recovered by now) stare in shock as the platform passes out of view behind a skyscraper. Followed seconds later by a huge EXPLOSION. Flaming debris flies back into shot.

ON HUDSON AND TRIO

They move so that they can see where Macbeth crashed. Flickering light paints their faces and bodies. Goliath drops down INTO SHOT beside them.

LEXINGTON
I don't believe it.

ON WRECKAGE

A mini-inferno of twisted, flaming metal. No one could have survived that crash.

HUDSON
Believe it, lad. Macbeth's dead.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Staring grimly O.S. Behind him the sky is roseate with dawn.

GOLIATH
I had no choice. He would have
killed the four of you.

Hudson moves IN beside him, absently brushing at the sparkling dust on his hauberk as he speaks:

HUDSON
No one's questioning you, Goliath.
(beat)
We'd best prepare to sleep right
here. Dawn is upon us.

WIDE ANGLE

The gargoyles assume threatening positions as the sun rises.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE - PANORAMIC VIEW - DAY (TIME LAPSE)

TIME LAPSE shot showing the whole day compressed to a few seconds. Clouds boil and writhe across the sky, lights wink on and off in windows, shadows flow like spilled ink as the sun arcs quickly from east to west. As evening shadows lengthen

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - ON GARGOYLES - DUSK

Start with Goliath and PAN across the gargoyles as they each in turn SHATTER their carapaces and stretch in awakening.

GARGOYLES (EXCEPT HUDSON)
(wake up)

PAN STOPS on Hudson; it's his turn to awaken. But nothing happens. The last flicker of sunlight disappears from his adamantine form. (Note: the stone Hudson is holding his sword, which is not stone.) REFIELD TO INCLUDE Goliath and the trio, staring at him in stunned disbelief.

GOLIATH
Hudson ...?

BROADWAY
What's wrong? Why doesn't he
wake up?

FAVOR GOLIATH

As he approaches, gingerly touching the old warrior's stone face. He's totally at a loss, and maybe there's just a bit of panic in his face and voice -- this is totally unprecedented.

GOLIATH
I-I don't know ...

CLOSER

He looks closer. The fading light shows some glittery powder on Hudson's granite shoulder.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
Wait ... last night Macbeth
threw some kind of powder on
Hudson.

BROOKLYN
Powder?

FAVOR GOLIATH

He peers closely at the powder.

GOLIATH
Sorcery. A magical concoction
to keep him asleep.

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Goliath and the trio stand around the stone Hudson.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
And it's up to us to find a cure.

LEXINGTON
But how? Macbeth's dead --
who else would know about the
powder?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Having come to a decision.

GOLIATH
Lexington and I will go to Macbeth's
mansion and question his lackeys.
Brooklyn, Broadway, stay here
and protect Hudson.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOFTOP'S EDGE

Goliath and Lex prepare for flight. Brooklyn puts a hand on Goliath's arm.

BROOKLYN
(worried)
Goliath -- what if there is no
cure?

Goliath is in some denial.

GOLIATH
There is a cure. There must be.

DRAMATIC ANGLE

Goliath and Lexington take off from the rooftop and glide O.S. Brooklyn and Broadway watch him go.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. MACBETH'S MANSION - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

PUSH IN and

CUT TO:

INT. MANSION'S CONTROL ROOM - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

Here we find BANQUO and FLEANCE (last seen in #4319-22), desultorily playing poker. Behind them the monitor screens show various views of the grounds and mansion interior. Banquo tosses a poker chip on the pile. PUSH IN SLOWLY on them as they play.

BANQUO
Raise.
(beat)
Y'know, when we took this job,
the Boss promised us lots of
action.
(looks around;
disgusted)
Right.

FLEANCE
Relax. We could use a little peace
and quiet.
(beat)
See you and raise.

ANOTHER ANGLE

She tosses two chips in. Banquo scowls and looks at his cards.

BANQUO
Okay, whatcha got?

ANGLE INCLUDES MONITOR

Showing a view from the roof. Fleance grins and starts to lay her cards down.

FLEANCE
Read 'em and --

Suddenly an ALARM KLAXON SOUNDS and the words INTRUDER ALERT begin flashing in red over the roof view on the screen. PUSH IN quickly on the screen as Banquo and Fleance react and look. We can see the winged shape of Lexington silhouetted against the moon, approaching.

ON FLEANCE AND BANQUO

Startled at first; then they grin at each other.

FLEANCE
One'a those gargoyles.

BANQUO
All right. C'mon!

They head O.S. The door SLAMS. PUSH IN on another one of the monitors, this one covering one of the mansion's walls. We can see a shadowy shape climbing it. Another KLAXON SOUNDS and the red INTRUDER ALERT sign starts flashing on that screen too ...

CUT TO:

EXT. MACBETH'S ROOF - NIGHT

The two electromagnetic cannons used in #4319-022 rise up from the roof as Fleance and Banquo dash IN and man one each.

ON FLEANCE

POWERING UP the gun. A green screen with a blip on it appears on a console before her.

FLEANCE
In range in forty seconds ...

Goliath's hand reaches IN behind her, grabs her by the collar and yanks her O.S.

FLEANCE (CONT'D)
(startled cry)

ON BANQUO

Seated at his cannon. He turns, looks. ANGLE ADJUSTS TO INCLUDE the other cannon, now manned by Goliath and aimed right at him.

BANQUO
Hey! What in --?

Banquo dives out of the way, just as Goliath BLASTS Banquo's cannon with a lightening bolt.

BANQUO (CONT'D)
(dive)

CLOSER

Banquo covers his head to protect himself from flying debris. He looks O.S. and reacts.

BANQUO
(cry of fear)

HIS POV

Goliath, face in shadow save for his glowing eyes. He looks quite fearsome. Lex glides IN and lands beside him.

GOLIATH, LEXINGTON
(growls)

ON BANQUO

Goliath steps IN, seizes Banquo by the shirt front and lifts him up. He gets in the terrified guard's face and growls:

GOLIATH
I want your master's magic -- all
of it -- now.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Banquo is obviously too scared to lie.

BANQUO
I don't know where he keeps it!

Goliath drops him on top of his unconscious comrade and turns to Lex.

GOLIATH
We must search the house.
(beat; to Banquo)
Find another job. Macbeth
won't be coming back.

He and Lexington turn away as we

CUT TO:

EXT. - ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Broadway and Brooklyn flank the stone Hudson.

BROADWAY
I'm worried. Even if Goliath
finds something at Macbeth's place,
how are we gonna make it work?
None of us are sorcerors.

ON BROOKLYN

Suddenly, determined.

BROOKLYN
Let's just focus on protecting Hudson.
We can't let anything happen to him.

CUT TO:

INT. CAGE - NIGHT

Large, like a high-tech version of an old lion cage, lit by a single bulb. Where it's located is not immediately clear -- all is darkness about it. Within the cage is a figure in sillouette at first. Then the figure steps into the light. It is Hudson, flesh and blood and pissed as hell. (MODEL NOTE: Hudson does not have his sword.)

HUDSON
(raging)
You can't keep me in here
forever!

He grabs the bars; they deliver an ELECTRICAL SHOCK that knocks him back.

HUDSON
(cry of pain)

CLOSER ON HIM

Angrier than we've ever seen him.

HUDSON
I'll get out, d'you hear me?!
I'll get out, and when I do --!

FADE OUT

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. CAGE - HUDSON -CONTINUOUS

We still don't know where we are. Hudson is pacing his cage like a trapped tiger.

CLOSE ON HIS FEET

We can see now that he's walking on bars that raise the cage perhaps six inches above a steel tray; basically a larger version of the tray used in pet cages to catch droppings (although this is for a different purpose). Scattered on the tray below the level of the bars where Hudson walks are the stone shards of his skin, shed this past dawn.

WIDE ANGLE

An O.S. CREAK OF HINGES stops his pacing. He looks O.S. and reacts grimly.

HUDSON
About time you came back.

ANOTHER ANGLE

We can tell now that we're in a dim-lit dungeon chamber. A shadowy figure approaches the cage as Hudson continues:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Why did you kidnap me? What
d'you want of me?

ON SHADOWED FIGURE

Approaching. As he speaks he steps into the range of light from the cage's bulb and is revealed to be XANATOS. OWEN shadows him silently. He's holding a small box in one hand.

XANATOS
Nothing much, Hudson. Just --
your skin.

TWO SHOT - XANATOS AND HUDSON

Hudson glares warily at Xanatos.

HUDSON
You'll have the devil's own
task getting it.

FAVOR XANATOS

Urbane and unconcerned as ever.

XANATOS
Really?

Xanatos pulls a remote control from his pocket. He presses the button. The tray beneath Hudson's cage automatically SLIDES out. Xanatos crouches and picks up a few long shards of stone exoderm. He presses the button again, and the tray returns to it's normal position.

XANATOS
Gee, that wasn't as hard as you made
it sound.

HUDSON
So you're through with me.

XANATOS
Not quite. I need your help to
conduct a small experiment.

Hudson glowers at Xanatos, who presses another button on the remote. In b.g. a STEEL CLAN ROBOT carries a huge wooden crate IN and sets it down near the cage.

HUDSON
Experiment? What kind of
experiment?

ANOTHER ANGLE

The robot RIPS open the wood as though it were Christmas wrapping, showing us what's inside the crate: a huge iron cauldron, obviously very old. The robot turns and EXITS.

FAVOR XANATOS AND HUDSON

Xanatos stares at it with tense excitement; Hudson is wary.

HUDSON
What'll that be, then?

FAVOR XANATOS

He runs his hand over the cauldron's lip. We can see Celtic runes engraved along the iron side.

XANATOS
The Cauldron Of Life. The legend
says it grants whoever bathes in
it "will live as long as the mountain
stones."

FAVOR HUDSON

He raises an eyebrow.

HUDSON
Ah. You wish to be ... immortal?

XANATOS
Of course. What good are all the
riches on Earth if Fox and I can't
enjoy them forever?

FAVOR HUDSON

He's settled into a poker face.

HUDSON
And how do I fit into all this?

ON XANATOS

Xanatos leans toward the cage and holds up the shards of exoderm.

XANATOS
One of the key ingredients in
the cauldron's brew is the
stone skin of a gargoyle.

ON HUDSON

He moves in too, getting face to face with Xanatos without touching the electrified bars.

HUDSON
These ancient talismans are often
dangerous, Xanatos. I would've
thought your experience with
the Eye Of Odin had taught you
that.

XANATOS
You could be right. Maybe it
would be a good idea to test
the brew first.
(beat; evil grin)
Any volunteers?

The Steel Clan robot reenters, now carrying a large plastic container filled with water. Xanatos and Owen watch, as the robot pours the water into the cauldron. Xanatos holds the handful of stone skin fragments in one hand.

FAVOR HUDSON

He scowls.

HUDSON
You mean to dunk me in that
oversized chamber pot?

CLOSE ON CAULDRON

Xanatos tosses the shards in the water, and they DISSOLVE in a mystical flash. A beat; then, though no fire burns beneath the cauldron, the water apparently begins to BOIL.

XANATOS
Eventually. The legend says the
skin must boil for a night and
a day first.

FAVOR XANATOS

His usual smug, superior self. He glances at his watch.

XANATOS (CONT'D)
So be patient. If the procedure
is successful, I'll release you.

FAVOR HUDSON

He trusts Xanatos about as far as he can comfortably spit a rat.

HUDSON
And if it isn't ...?

CLOSE ON XANATOS

He smiles.

XANATOS
Then you'll have the privilege
of giving your life for science.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Furious.

HUDSON
My clan will never rest until
they know where I am!

Xanatos is spectacularly unconcerned.

XANATOS
But they already know where
you are.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

Off his puzzled look, we PAN AWAY TO FRAME Owen as he opens the box and takes out a tiny statue of Hudson in sleep pose. He holds it up.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Who stares at it.

XANATOS
This is just a sculptor's model,
of course. The real thing is
life-size -- and very life-like.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

He's screwed, and he knows it.

XANATOS (CONT'D O.S.)
(sticking it to him)
The hardest part was finding a
replica for your sword.

Xanatos turns to Owen.

XANATOS
Still there's no sense being
complacent. Let's make sure
the other gargoyles don't think
to look for him here.

WIDE

Xanatos exits. The robot remains on guard. Owen is about to follow, when Hudson calls out to him.

HUDSON
And what's in this for you?

FAVOR OWEN

OWEN
Service is it's own reward.
I would have thought you knew
that.

XANATOS (O.S.)
Owen, I want the gargoyles distracted.

He nods slightly, poker-faced as usual.

OWEN
Understood, sir.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where Brooklyn and Broadway are guarding "Hudson". An ELECTRIC BOLT ZAPS the roof near them, scorching it and startling both of them.

BROOKLYN, BROADWAY
(surprised cries)

ANGLE INCLUDES

Macbeth, swooping toward them on another flying platform. Broadway and Brooklyn are astounded to see that he's apparently risen from the dead.

BROOKLYN
It can't be!

BROADWAY
There's no way he could've
survived that crash!

WIDE ANGLE

Macbeth ZAPS another bolt at them; this one comes perilously close to the Hudson statue. Both Brooklyn and Broadway are forced to leap from the rooftop to avoid it.

BROOKLYN
Well, for a ghost he sure
packs a wallop!

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As they swoop away from the rooftop.

BROADWAY
We've got to make him follow
us -- lead him away from Hudson!

Another POWER BOLT SCORCHES between them. They look back. REFIELD TO INCLUDE Macbeth, zooming after them.

BROOKLYN
I don't think that'll be a
problem!

ON MACBETH

He aims his weapon and FIRES again. During this:

MACBETH
(re-use line #??)
I've been looking for you!

In the heat of battle, neither gargoyle notices that he says this exactly the same way he said it before. Macbeth GAINS O.S. as we

CUT TO:

INT. ELISA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

WIDE

Goliath and Lex have been filling Elisa in.

ELISA
Any luck finding the cure at
Macbeth's house?

GOLIATH
No. We searched from attic to
cellar, but found nothing.

CLOSE ON GOLIATH

This is a real last resort for him.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
There's only one other hope.
We need a sorceress. We need
Demona.

ON ELISA

She's stunned by his request.

GOLIATH (CONT'D O.S.)
You are a detective. You must help
us find her.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Elisa puts a hand on his shoulder.

ELISA
Goliath, you know I'd do anything to
help. But honestly, I wouldn't even
know where to start looking.

GOLIATH
We can't just give up!

ELISA
We won't. I promise.

ANGLE INCLUDES

the brightening eastern horizon. Lex glances at it.

LEXINGTON
It's not long to sunrise. We should
head back. Brooklyn and Broadway will
be worried.

FAVOR ELISA AND GOLIATH

ELISA
I'd like to go with you.

Goliath nods and lifts her into his arms.

CUT TO:

EXT. ELISA'S APARTMENT - PRE-DAWN

TRACK WITH GOLIATH AND LEX

the former carrying Elisa, as they glide uptown.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON

Hudson glowers at Xanatos, as the latter enters and peaks into the boiling cauldron. He warms his hands above it. The robot remains immobile in the b.g.

XANATOS
The soup's cooking nicely.

HUDSON
You've obviously gone to a lot
of trouble. Had to carve your
statue weeks in advance. Tell me
something: Why me?

FAVOR XANATOS

Who thinks the answer is obvious.

XANATOS
Because you're old and getting
older. I thought you might even
appreciate the opportunity.

ON HUDSON

He crosses his arms. He's just picked up on one of Xanatos' few weaknesses.

HUDSON
Growing old terrifies you,
doesn't it?

ECU ON XANATOS

Hudson's pressed one of his few buttons.

XANATOS
Nothing terrifies me. Because
nothing is beyond my ability to
change.
(beat, petty)
What about you? Still wasting
your evenings in front of a
television set. You're of
little use to your clan; you
might as well be of some use to
me.

CLOSER ON HUDSON

Xanatos hasn't rattled him a bit.

HUDSON
Open this cage and I'll show
you just how useless I am.

HOLD ON XANATOS

He doesn't have a comeback. He burns, turns and leaves.

ON CAGE

Hudson SLAMS a fist into his palm in a frustrated gesture and turns to resume his pacing.

CLOSER ON HUDSON

He notices something at his feet. MOVE WITH him as he kneels to look closely at the slivers of rocky exoderm -- some of which are as long as a knife blade. Hudson reaches through the grated floor and touches his shed skin thoughtfully.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - ESTABLISHING - PRE-DAWN

A dark and dreary area, the deserted streets narrow and winding, with tall dark warehouses lining them. VERT. PAN UP TO FRAME Brooklyn and Broadway, fleeing for their lives, as another ELECTRICAL BOLT ZAPS a brick wall near them, SHATTERING it.

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Zooming along on his flying platform in close pursuit. We can see that the eastern sky is lightening.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
Farewell, my enemies!

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN AND BROADWAY

Flying through the narrow streets like Luke zooming along the Deathstar trench.

BROADWAY
At least we led him away from
Hudson!

BROOKLYN
Yeah -- now if only someone'd
lead him away from us!

ON BROADWAY - FLYING

His expression becomes determined.

BROADWAY
It's almost dawn -- and then
we'll be sitting ducks!

ANGLE WIDENS as he does a barrel roll, looping up in a backwards arc. During the next few shots we should be seeing the sky growing lighter and lighter.

BROADWAY (CONT'D)
Besides we gotta nail him. He's the
only one who can cure Hudson!

ON MACBETH - FLYING

As Broadway comes swooping down behind Macbeth, the latter turns and lines up on him with his weapon.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
You'll have to do better than
that!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Just before Macbeth fires, however, Brooklyn CRASHES into him from behind. Macbeth does not cry out from the impact (he's a robot), nor is he knocked down as we would expect a human to be. Instead he turns and grapples with the surprised Brooklyn.

BROOKLYN
(grunt of surprise)

ANGLE INCLUDES BROADWAY

swooping down toward them; he reacts in astonishment as Macbeth picks up Brooklyn and hurls him from the careening platform.

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN

He pops open his wings, catches air, slowing his drop. As he does so, he looks up and reacts in surprise as he sees:

LOW ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Just in time for Broadway to sail IN and be BATTED aside like an annoying insect by Macbeth's one-armed blow.

BROADWAY
(stunned grunt)

ON BROOKLYN

He lands on the fire escape next to a crane which holds a huge shipping crate on the end of its cable. The building has a sign on the wall that reads ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS.

ON BROADWAY

Rising on a thermal while he recovers from Macbeth's blow.

BROADWAY
(groans)

ABOVE A NEARBY BUILDING

Goliath, Lex and Elisa glide into view.

GOLIATH
Look! Over there! It's Broadway!

LEXINGTON
The sun's about to come up!

CLOSE ON GOLIATH AND ELISA

He looks at her and comes to a decision. He and Lex land on the rooftop. He puts Elisa down, and looks O.S. in astonishment. The world is trembling on the edge of dawn.

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Turning his platform to come back for another shot at Broadway.

GOLIATH (O.S. CONT'D)
Macbeth -- and alive?!

ZAP! Macbeth FIRES O.S.

ON BROADWAY

The BOLTS SCORCH the air directly beneath him, forcing him to rise higher and higher.

ON GOLIATH, LEX AND ELISA

Goliath prepares to leap into the air, but Lex and Elisa grab his arms and points O.S. eastward in horror.

ELISA, LEXINGTON
Goliath! You can't! / The sun!!

ANGLE INCLUDES

The horizon, where the molten edge of the sun has appeared across the East River.

RESUME GOLIATH AND LEX

The PETRIFACTION starts, moving swiftly up their bodies. Goliath stares up O.S., struggling against the inevitable.

GOLIATH
(strains)
Broadway --!

And then he is stone, as is Lex.

ON BROADWAY

ON THE CUT he TRANSFORMS also, and drops like -- well, like a rock.

ON BROOKLYN

Brooklyn has an extra second of consciousness before the terminator moves down the building and envelopes him -- just long enough to see his friend plummeting toward certain death.

BROOKLYN
No!!

Then Brooklyn TRANSFORMS.

ON ELISA

In shock as she watches BROADWAY falling.

HER POV - BROADWAY

Falling away from us as we

FADE OUT

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - LOW ANGLE SHOT - DAWN - CONTINUOUS

The stone Broadway falling right INTO CAMERA.

ON ELISA

She's only got a couple of seconds to come up with something. She looks frantically this way and that, then spies something O.S. (These scenes MUST play like lightning.)

HER POV - SHIPPING CRATE

The huge shipping crate at the end of the crane cable, level with the second story of the building. ZOOM IN on the box's side, where the words ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS are stenciled.

ON ELISA

She whips her gun from its shoulder holster, aims and FIRES up O.S. repeatedly, emptying the clip.

CLOSE ON CRANE BOOM

She's a helluva shot -- most of the bullets STRIKE the hoist cable at the pulley junction, its weakest point. The cable SNAPS.

PULL BACK WIDE as the crate falls and SHATTERS on the street, releasing its cargo: a couple of dozen rolled up thick carpets. They barely have time to hit the street in a pile six feet thick before Broadway CRASHES down on top of them, bounces, lands again on the very edge of the pile and lies still.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa leans back against Goliath's petrified form.

ELISA
(big sigh)

CLOSER ON HER

She remembers Macbeth and looks up O.S.

HER POV - SKY

We can see Macbeth zooming away on his platform.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
(laughs)
Trophies!

RESUME ELISA

Watching him go.

CUT TO:
INT. DUNGEON

Xanatos stares at the stone form of Hudson. Looks into the boiling Cauldron. Owen enters.

OWEN
We have a field report from
"Macbeth". He kept the gargoyles
busy throughout the night.

XANATOS
Better watch out Owen. This Macbeth
fellow may be gunning for your job.
He's already died for me once on
this project. It's hard to top that.

ON OWEN

He raises an eyebrow.

WIPE TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - DAY

Elisa supervises as the crane lifts Broadway up toward the rooftop where Goliath and Lex are frozen in stone.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. EYRIE BUILDING - TWILIGHT

The sun sets.

CUT TO:
INT. DUNGEON

Hudson explodes out of his stone shell.

HUDSON
(awakening roar)

TIGHT ON HUDSON

He reaches behind him, as if to check that he still has a weapon stuck in his belt. Though we don't see it, he obviously still feels it there, and looks relieved.

CUT TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE ROOF - DUSK

Elisa is there with Goliath, Lex and Broadway. Brooklyn glides in for a landing. He immediately rushes to Broadway.

BROOKLYN
Jalapeña, you're still alive!
It's a miracle!

Goliath looks at Elisa who smiles.

GOLIATH
Yes -- a miracle named Elisa.

FAVOR LEX

Wheels clearly turning.

LEX
What I don't get is Macbeth. Why
did he cut and run?

BROOKLYN
Good question. He keeps saying he
wants us as trophies. Why didn't
he come back for us while we were
stone?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Suddenly realizing that "Hudson" has been left unprotected.

GOLIATH
Hudson!

DRAMATIC ANGLE

As all four gargoyles launch themselves into the night. Goliath carries Elisa.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT

FAVOR XANATOS AND HUDSON

Xanatos turns from the boiling cauldron to the old gargoyle. He holds Hudson's sword in one hand. With the other, he presses his remote. The cage opens. The Steel Clan Robot grabs Hudson and pulls him out. Owen is also present.

XANATOS
Your bath is ready, Hudson.

ON HUDSON

Hudson is there, arms held by a Steel Clan robot. Head high, determined to show no fear.

HUDSON
Listen to me, Xanatos. What
you seek demands a heavy price.

CLOSER ON HUDSON - INCLUDE XANATOS

Xanatos is listening, politely but with barely concealed impatience.

HUDSON (CONT'D)
I've been alive for over eleven
hundred years. Most of my clan
is dead and dust, and I am a
stranger in a strange land.
(beat)
Demona and Macbeth are immortal.
Has it brought them happiness?

XANATOS
Save your breath, Hudson. Old
age has its price as well, and
it's too expensive for me.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where the "Hudson" statue keeps its lonely stone vigil. The gargoyles land and look about warily.

BROADWAY
No sign of Macbeth.

BROOKLYN
I still want to know how he
lived through that crash --
and why he keeps attacking us.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Thinking hard about it.

GOLIATH
It's almost as though he's trying
to keep us off guard while
something else goes on ...

ANOTHER ANGLE - ALL

A POWER BOLT from O.S. SHATTERS the edge of the roof, nearly toppling them all into the street.

GARGOYLES, ELISA
(surprised cries)

WIDE ANGLE

Here comes Macbeth again, FIRING furiously.

MACBETH
(reuse line #??)
Farewell, my enemies!

ON GARGOYLES AND ELISA

Elisa dives for cover behind a brick chimney, pulling her gun as she does so. The gargoyles take to the air as more BOLTS ZING THROUGH, some coming perilously close to Hudson.

AERIAL SHOT - WIDE

The gargoyles circle Macbeth, avoiding the LIGHTENING BLASTS.

GOLIATH
Keep him away from Hudson!

ON "HUDSON"

A nearby BLAST PEPPERS the statue with stone shrapnel.

ON BROOKLYN AND BROADWAY - FLYING

A massive POWER BOLT KNOCKS Broadway and Brooklyn out of the sky.

BROADWAY, BROOKLYN
(impact grunts)

They land on the roof's edge, half-stunned.

BROOKLYN
This is gettin' old ...

ON GOLIATH AND LEXINGTON

Swooping around for another pass. BOLTS SIZZLE THROUGH SHOT.

ON HUDSON STATUE

The POWER BOLTS are coming closer to it.

QUICK CUT - ELISA

She takes aim at Macbeth with her gun.

ELISA
Don't do it!!

She fires, but she used all of her bullets to save Broadway. The gun CLICKS harmlessly.

QUICK CUT - LEXINGTON

He sees what's going to happen and reacts in horror, but he's too far away to do anything about it.

LEXINGTON
(gasps)

ON GOLIATH

Arrowing straight toward us, hands outstretched.

GOLIATH
Hudson --!!

ON "HUDSON"

As a POWER BOLT STRIKES the statue squarely, BLOWING it to hell and gone.

REACTION SHOT - GOLIATH

Utterly horrified, as we

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The robot lifts Hudson from behind. Hudson struggles futilely.

HUDSON
(struggles)

WIDE ANGLE

The robot carries him toward the cauldron as we

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The dust still settling from the destruction of the statue. Goliath drops INTO SHOT beside the fragments.

ON GOLIATH

His eyes blaze white. He is in a killing rage, angrier than we have ever seen him before. He glares up O.S. Another POWER BOLT BLISTERS the roof right next to him, but he doesn't even notice it. With a:

GOLIATH
(roar of pure fury)

he leaps from the roof and soars up O.S.

ON MACBETH

FIRING O.S. at the oncoming juggernaut.

ON GOLIATH - FLYING

He takes an almost-direct HIT by a BOLT; it knocks him back, but he does a quick barrel roll and gets back on track.

GOLIATH
(growls)

WIDE ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Goliath gets one hand on the platform. He ignores another BLAST by sheer force of will and climbs aboard.

CLOSER

Before Macbeth can fire again Goliath tears the weapon from his hands and CRUSHES it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath's too angry to notice Macbeth's lack of fear. He grabs the robot, sustaining a massive SHOCK doing so. But he doesn't let go. Holding on with one hand, ELECTRICITY CRACKLING the length of his arm, he cocks the other fist back.

GOLIATH
Murderer!!

CLOSE ON THEM

As Goliath SMASHES a piledriver blow straight into Macbeth's chest, CRUSHING it. Circuitry SPARKS, FLASHES. Macbeth spasms as his system shorts out. When he speaks his voice RUNS DOWN like a slowing tape:

MACBETH
(reuse, but slow down, line #??)
You'll have ... to do ...
better ... than ... that ...

Goliath stares in disbelief.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

Hudson's about to be dumped in the cauldron. He struggles.

HUDSON
(struggles)

FAVOR XANATOS

He holds up the sword tauntingly.

XANATOS
Relax, Hudson. Without your
sword, you're helpless.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

And we see that his struggles mask the sight of one hand reaching behind him and beneath his hauberk and pulling out a long sharp shard of epithelial stone.

HUDSON
Swordless, maybe ...

WIDE ANGLE

As Hudson whips his arm around, driving the shard back directly into the face plate of the robot behind him. The robot SHORTS OUT spectacularly and falls away. During this:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Helpless, never!

ANOTHER ANGLE

With one side free, Hudson drops his feet on the cauldron's side, balancing on the narrow lip, then leaps forward.

HUDSON
(battle cry)

PAN WITH HIM as he does a forward flip over the cauldron, wings folded, and IMPACTS feet-first squarely into Xanatos, KNOCKING the latter O.S. Owen reacts in surprise.

XANATOS
(impact grunt)

ON WALL

Xanatos SLAMS against it, dropping Hudson's sword. He then slides down to sprawl on the floor, stunned.

XANATOS
(stunned grunt)

ON HUDSON AND OWEN

Hudson grabs up his sword and whips about to face Owen. He points a warning finger at Xanatos' charge d'affaires.

HUDSON
Behave yourself, boy.

ANGLE INCLUDES XANATOS

Who gets to his feet somewhat shakily. He looks at Hudson standing there with his sword ready. In a heartbeat he's recovered his poise.

XANATOS
I underestimated you. Very
resourceful, using your own
skin as a weapon. I should
have thought of that.
(beat)
I suppose you'll destroy the
cauldron now.

TWO SHOT - XANATOS AND HUDSON

Hudson raises an eyebrow.

HUDSON
And why would I be doing that?
What you choose to do with
your life is your own affair --
as long as it's got nothing to
do with me.

ANGLE INCLUDES DOOR

Hudson backs toward the doors warily, sword ready. For once in his life Xanatos looks surprised.

XANATOS
You're just full of surprises.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Hudson reaches the doors. Stops and turns.

HUDSON
A friendly word of advice. True
immortality isn't about living
forever, man. It's about what
you do with the time you have.
(beat)
When all your scheming's done,
what will be your legacy Xanatos?

WIDE ANGLE

Hudson sheathes his sword, KICKS the doors open and runs O.S.

ON XANATOS AND OWEN

Owen pulls a pocket communicator from his coat, but before he can use it Xanatos puts a forestalling hand on his arm.

XANATOS
No. Let him go. He's earned it.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

The gargoyles and Elisa stand looking forlornly at "Hudson's" remains. The flying platform and the ruined Macbeth robot are nearby.

GOLIATH
Hudson was the greatest warrior
I have ever known. His loss
diminishes us all.

BROOKLYN
Yeah. Now I wish I'd... He was
one in a million.

As they speak, Hudson drops silently down INTO SHOT behind her. He grins as he hears the impromptu eulogies.

FAVOR LEX, BROADWAY AND ELISA

Holding back tears. From this angle we can't see Hudson.

LEXINGTON
He's forgotten more things than
we'll ever know.

ELISA
He was always there for us.

BROADWAY
I'm sorry, Hudson. I wish it
hadn't turned out this way ...

HUDSON (O.S.)
All things considered, I'm just
as glad it did, laddy.

The gargoyles and Elisa whip about in comical astonishment. REFIELD QUICKLY TO INCLUDE Hudson, leaning against a rooftop chimney and grinning widely.

FAVOR HUDSON

The others rush to his side.

GARGOYLES, ELISA
(walla)
Hudson --? What --? You're
not dead? I don't get it!

Hudson holds up a hand in a calming gesture.

HUDSON
It's a long story, and one
best told over a hot cup of
tea.

ANGLE INCLUDES STATUE RUBBLE AND "HUDSON" HEAD

Hudson turns and picks up the statue's head.

HUDSON
I think I'll keep this as a
souvenir. Not everyone can
reclaim their head after
losing it.
(beat)
Let's go home.

ON ROOF'S EDGE

The gargoyles glide into the night. Goliath carries Elisa.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. DUNGEON - NIGHT

The cauldron still BUBBLES in b.g. Xanatos looks at it.

XANATOS
I was so close to finding out
if the legend was true. Now
there's no one to test it on.

REVERSE ANGLE

Owen crosses to the cauldron in f.g., pulling up his sleeve as he goes.

OWEN
Allow me, sir ...

CLOSE ON WATER

Owen plunges his fist into the "boiling" water.

TWO SHOT - OWEN AND XANATOS

Xanatos watches in surprise as Owen pulls his fist out. The fist is now solid stone. Owen reacts quite unemotionally. He TAPS it against the side of the cauldron.

OWEN
It would appear, sir, that
the cauldron's spell of
immortality has a price.

XANATOS
Yes ... what was the legend?
Whoever bathes in it "will live
as long as the mountain stones."
How literal-minded.
(beat)
Thank you, Owen. That will
be all.

He turns and walks O.S., leaving Owen standing there with his new stone hand. Owen calmly rolls down his sleeve and rebuttons his cuff as we

FADE OUT

THE END

"The Price": First Draft Script

In preparation for my episodic rambles, I usually post the memo I wrote to the story editor with notes on that editor's first draft outline. This time, on "The Price", there was no memo. The outline must have been in very good shape. So instead I thought I'd post a couple scripts. Usually, I can't do that because back then I tended to edit by hand, and have my script coordinator, Denise Byrne, enter my changes into the computer. But this time, for whatever reason, I did (at least some of) the changes myself, so I still have both drafts on my computer. This one here is Michael Reaves' first draft script. [Note: some or all of the formatting will likely be lost in posting it here at ASK GREG. Read this for content, not format.]

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

Written by:
Michael Reaves

[based on comic book material by Lee Nordling]

1st draft:
1/12/95

Story Editor:
Michael Reaves

WALT DISNEY TV ANIMATION

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

CAST LIST

REGULARS
GOLIATH
BROOKLYN
HUDSON - There is also a stone statue of Hudson in a typical sleep pose.
BROADWAY
LEXINGTON

ELISA

SEMI-REGULARS
XANATOS
OWEN

GUESTS
MACBETH Actually a robot, but visually indistinguishable from the real thing. He only speaks three lines, using them over and over.

NON-SPEAKING PARTS
MATT BLUESTONE Non-speaking cameo.
3 COMMANDOS
1 STEEL CLAN ROBOT

GARGOYLES

"The Price"

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - NIGHT - PANORAMIC POV

A spectacular gargoyle's eye view of the city, covered by a thick pelt of snow. CAMERA MOVES SLOWLY through the maze of skyscrapers. Below, headlights and neon signs play prismatic colors. An enchanting vista.

BROOKLYN (V.O.)
Boy, the city sure is different
when it snows.

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As GOLIATH, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON and HUDSON ride the night wind. Broadway hugs himself against the cold.

BROADWAY
Yeah -- it's colder.

FAVOR GOLIATH - PANNING

He permits himself a small smile at Broadway's discomfort.

GOLIATH
It's almost dawn, and we've
completed our patrol of the
city. Let's return to the clock
tower and a warm meal.

FAVOR LEXINGTON - PANNING

He looks contented.

LEXINGTON
Not a bad life, all things
considered ...

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Suddenly an ELECTRO-BLAST CRACKLES THROUGH SHOT, missing them narrowly and causing them all to scatter.

GARGOYLES
(surprised cries)

TRACK WITH BROOKLYN

He recovers his equilibrium, looks O.S. and reacts in shock.

BROOKLYN
Yeah ...

HIS POV

of MACBETH, swooping around on a return path, riding a small open-air flying platform supported and propelled by a repulsor device.

BROOKLYN (O.S. CONT'D)
Too bad it's about over!

WIDE ANGLE - INCLUDE OTHERS

Hovering as Macbeth heads toward them again, aiming one of his ray guns. (NOTE: We will learn later that this Macbeth is a robot, one of several constructed by Xanatos. For now, treat him as the real thing.)

HUDSON
(shocked)
Macbeth!

They scatter as another RAYBLAST RIPS THROUGH SHOT.

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He folds his wings, drops, peels out O.S. During this:

GOLIATH
Spread out! Attack formation
Spartacus!

EXTREME WIDE

The gargoyles split into two groups and swoop toward Macbeth from opposite directions in a pincers strategy.

MACBETH
You'll have to do better than
that!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Macbeth's platform suddenly shoots straight up out of the gargoyles' paths. Our guys only manage to avoid colliding with each other by adroit maneuvering.

GARGOYLES
(startled cries)

FOLLOW MACBETH

He does a steep glide and turn, FIRING down O.S. as he does.

TRACK WITH GOLIATH

He narrowly dodges a CRACKLING RAY. As he flies:

GOLIATH
Why do you attack us? What do
you want?

ON MACBETH - FLYING

Intent, murder in his eyes. He raises the gun again.

MACBETH
I want your hides for trophies!

He sends a ray CRACKLING directly at us.

REVERSE ANGLE - LEXINGTON AND BROOKLYN

The ray ZAPS both of them, causing them to fall O.S.

LEXINGTON, BROOKLYN
(stunned grunts)

ON HUDSON AND BROADWAY

Reacting in shock. They dive down O.S.

ON LEXINGTON AND BROOKLYN

Semi-stunned, dropping in steep glides, about to lose consciousness entirely. Broadway and Hudson swoop INTO SHOT, Broadway grabbing Lexington and Hudson grabbing Brooklyn.

HUDSON
(straining)
Easy, lads -- we've got you --!

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOF

They glide to it and deposit their stunned comrades safely on a snow-covered ledge. (STORYBOARD NOTE: During these last few shots the eastern horizon is starting to glow with daylight.)

FOLLOW GOLIATH

He catches an updraft and wheels about, heading back.

TRACK WITH MACBETH

As he flies. Suddenly Goliath, eyes white, drops down INTO SHOT above him, grabbing him from behind in a bear hug.

GOLIATH
(growls)

MACBETH
(startled grunt)

ANOTHER ANGLE

A massive ELECTRICAL JOLT from Macbeth's armor knocks Goliath O.S. He falls from the platform.

GOLIATH
(cry of pain)

ON SKYSCRAPER PINNACLE

Goliath manages to land atop the pinnacle of a building which rises to a needle-like spire. He grips the spire with one hand, head drooping in a dazed slump, looking like King Kong just before taking that final dive.

GOLIATH
(dazed groan)

TRACK WITH MACBETH

He zooms down, a small packet held in one hand. As he sails past the gargoyles on the roof he hurls the packet at Hudson, who's a bit separated from the other three.

ON HUDSON

Before Hudson can dodge, the packet hits him and BURSTS, scattering a sparkling mist all over him. He reacts in surprise and confusion.

HUDSON
(startled cry)

ON MACBETH

He turns on the platform and aims his ray gun down O.S.

MACBETH
Farewell, my enemies!

ANGLE INCLUDES

The trio in b.g., the ray gun and Macbeth's hand in EXTREME f.g. RACK FOCUS from the gun to them.

CLOSER ON BROADWAY

He reacts. He could save himself, but he won't leave his friends. (They're starting to revive, but won't recover in time.)

BROADWAY
(gasps)

ON GOLIATH

He reacts in horror as he sees the O.S. Macbeth's intention. His eyes blaze white.

GOLIATH
No!

Clinging to the pinnacle with one hand and both feet, he SNAPS off the six-foot long tip of the spire.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath hurls the spire like a javelin with all his strength.

GOLIATH
(effort grunt)

DRAMATIC ANGLE - MACBETH

Just as he's about to trigger the ray gun the spire arrows INTO SHOT and SKEWERS him square in the chest! There's a bit of an ELECTRICAL DISCHARGE about the entry wound, nothing too noticeable; we assume it's his body armor shorting out. Macbeth stiffens, but does not cry out. He collapses over the control panel of his platform, sending it into a dive.

WIDE ANGLE

All the gargoyles (Lex and Brooklyn have recovered by now) stare in shock as the platform COLLIDES with a huge ornate stone gargoyle on the top of a nearby building and EXPLODES. Flaming debris rains down O.S.

ON GARGOYLES

Staring O.S. in disbelief. Flickering light from the twisted, flaming wreckage paints their faces and bodies.

LEXINGTON
I don't believe it.

BROOKLYN
Believe it. Macbeth's dead.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Staring grimly O.S. Behind him the sky is roseate with dawn.

GOLIATH
I had no choice. He would have
killed the three of you.

Hudson moves IN beside him, absently brushing at the sparkling dust on his hauberk as he speaks:

HUDSON
No one's questioning your act,
Goliath.
(beat)
We'd best prepare to sleep here.
Dawn is upon us.

WIDE ANGLE

The gargoyles assume threatening positions as the sun rises.

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. NEW YORK SKYLINE - PANORAMIC VIEW - DAY (TIME LAPSE)

Let's try something difficult (and expensive): A TIME LAPSE shot showing the whole day compressed to a few seconds. Clouds boil and writhe across the sky, lights wink on and off in windows, shadows flow like spilled ink as the sun arcs quickly from east to west.(As if Frank didn't have enough to worry about ...) As evening shadows lengthen we

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. BUILDING ROOFTOP - ON GARGOYLES - DUSK

Start with Goliath and PAN across the gargoyles as they each in turn SHATTER their carapaces and stretch in awakening.

GARGOYLES
(wake up)

PAN STOPS on Hudson; it's his turn to awaken. But nothing happens. The last flicker of sunlight disappears from his adamantine form. REFIELD TO INCLUDE the others, staring at him in stunned disbelief.

BROOKLYN
Hudson ...?

BROADWAY
What's wrong? Why doesn't he
wake up?

FAVOR GOLIATH

As he approaches, gingerly touching the old warrior's stone face. He's totally at a loss, and maybe there's just a bit of panic in his face and voice -- this is totally unprecedented.

GOLIATH
I-I don't know ...

CLOSER

He looks closer. The fading light shows some glittery powder on Hudson's granite shoulder.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
Wait ... last night Macbeth
threw some kind of powder on
Hudson. Here -- see?

The others crowd around.

BROADWAY
That's right -- I saw it.

FAVOR LEXINGTON

He peers closely at the powder.

LEXINGTON
I don't think there's any 20th
century science that can turn
flesh to stone.

GOLIATH
Sorcery, then. Macbeth put a
spell on him.

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

Grouped around the stone Hudson.

GOLIATH (CONT'D)
And it's up to us to find a way
to break it.

BROOKLYN
Sure, but how? Macbeth's dead --
who else would know about the
spell?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Having come to a decision.

GOLIATH
Lexington and I will go to Macbeth's
mansion and search it. Perhaps he
left some clue there.
(beat)
Brooklyn, you and Broadway will
stay here and protect Hudson.

ANGLE INCLUDES ROOFTOP'S EDGE

Lexington and Goliath prepare for flight. Broadway puts a hand on Goliath's arm.

BROADWAY
(worried)
Goliath -- what if there is no
cure?

We can see that this has occurred to Goliath too.

GOLIATH
Then we will mourn our friend
and mentor.

DRAMATIC ANGLE

Goliath and Lexington take off from the rooftop and glide O.S. Broadway and Brooklyn watch them go.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. MACBETH'S MANSION - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

PUSH IN and

CUT TO:
INT. MANSION'S CONTROL ROOM - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

As we last saw it in Episode #4319-008. Here we find BANQUO and FLEANCE (last seen in #4319-22), desultorily playing penny-ante poker. Behind them the monitor screens show various views of the grounds and mansion interior. Banquo tosses a coin on the pile. PUSH IN SLOWLY on them as they play.

BANQUO
Raise.
(beat)
Y'know, when we took this job,
BANQUO (CONT'D)
the Boss promised us lots of
action.
(looks around;
disgusted)
Right.

FLEANCE
Relax. After what happened with
them gargoyles last time I can
use a little peace and quiet.
(beat)
See you and raise.

ANOTHER ANGLE

He tosses two coins in. Banquo scowls and looks at his cards.

BANQUO
Okay, wise guy, whatcha got?

ANGLE INCLUDES MONITOR

Showing a view from the roof. Fleance grins and starts to lay his cards down.

FLEANCE
Read 'em and --

Suddenly an ALARM KLAXON SOUNDS and the words INTRUDER ALERT begin flashing in red over the roof view on the screen. PUSH IN quickly on the screen as Banquo and Fleance react and look. We can see the winged shape of Lexington silhouetted against the moon, approaching.

ON FLEANCE AND BANQUO

Startled at first; then they grin at each other.

FLEANCE
One'a those gargoyles.

BANQUO
All right. Payback. C'mon!

They head O.S. The door SLAMS. PUSH IN on another one of the monitors, this one covering one of the mansion's walls. We can see a shadowy shape climbing it. Another KLAXON SOUNDS and the red INTRUDER ALERT sign starts flashing on that screen too ...

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOF - NIGHT

The two electromagnetic cannons used in #4319-022 rise up from the roof as Fleance and Banquo dash IN and man one each.

ON FLEANCE

POWERING UP the gun. A green screen with a blip on it appears on a console before him.

FLEANCE
Be in range in forty seconds ...

Goliath's hand reaches IN behind him, grabs him by the collar and yanks him O.S.

FLEANCE (CONT'D)
(startled cry)

ON BANQUO

Also seated at the ray cannon. He turns, looks. ANGLE ADJUSTS TO INCLUDE the other cannon, now unmanned.

BANQUO
Hey! What in --?

He jumps out of his seat, fumbling for the gun on his belt. Before he can free it Fleance flies INTO SHOT, SLAMMING into Banquo and knocking him back against the cannon.

BANQUO (CONT'D)
(stunned grunt)

CLOSER

Fleance is out; Banquo dazed. He looks O.S. and reacts.

BANQUO
(cry of fear)

HIS POV

Goliath, face in shadow save for his glowing eyes. He looks quite fearsome. Lex glides IN and lands beside him.

GOLIATH, LEXINGTON
(growls)

ON BANQUO AND FLEANCE

Goliath steps IN, seizes Banquo by the shirt front and lifts him up. He gets in the terrified guard's face and growls:

GOLIATH
I want your master's collection
of magic spells -- now.

BANQUO
I-I dunno where it is! Macbeth
keeps 'em locked up. He-he ain't
been here for weeks!

GOLIATH
If you're lying --!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Banquo is obviously too scared to lie.

BANQUO
It's the truth! I don't know
where he is!

Goliath drops him on top of his unconscious comrade.

GOLIATH
Find another job. Macbeth
won't be coming back.

He and Lexington turn away as we

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Goliath and Lexington have joined the others and the stone Hudson.

GOLIATH
His lackeys say he hasn't been
there for weeks. There was no
time to search the entire place
before dawn.

BROOKLYN
But we've got to do something.
Hudson can't stay stone forever.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Looking very grim as he tries to think of a way to save his old friend. HOLD ON him, and then

CUT TO:

INT. CAGE

Large, like an old lion cage, lit by a single bulb. Where it's located is not immediately clear -- all is darkness about it. Within the cage is Hudson, flesh and blood and pissed as hell. (MODEL NOTE: Hudson does not have his sword.)

HUDSON
(raging)
You can't keep me in here
forever!

He grabs the bars; they deliver an ELECTRICAL SHOCK that knocks him back.

HUDSON
(cry of pain)

CLOSER ON HIM

Angrier than we've ever seen him.

HUDSON
I'll get out, d'you hear me?!
I'll get out, and when I do --!

He whips out his sword, brandishing it menacingly as we

FADE OUT

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

EXT. ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS

Goliath and the others with the stone Hudson.

LEXINGTON
Brooklyn's right -- there must
be some way we can help.

GOLIATH
Broadway, Lexington -- remain
here with Hudson. Brooklyn --
return to the clock tower and
check the Grimorum. Perhaps it
contains a counterspell.

BROOKLYN
Right.
(beat)
What about you?

FAVOR GOLIATH

Looking even grimmer than usual.

GOLIATH
With Macbeth dead, only one other
knows enough about magic to help
Hudson.

INCLUDE OTHERS

They look at him like he's nuts.

BROOKLYN
(incredulous)
You can't ask Demona for help!

GOLIATH
There is no other alternative.

ON EDGE OF ROOF

Goliath prepares to take off.

BROADWAY
How will you find her?

GOLIATH
I'll find her. Somehow.
(beat)
And then perhaps I can --
bargain -- with her.

FAVOR LEXINGTON

Puzzled.

LEXINGTON
What could you offer Demona
to make her help you?

ON GOLIATH

We can see that it pains him to say this, but he says it with chilling determination.

GOLIATH
Her life.

WIDE ANGLE

Goliath and Brooklyn take off O.S. in different directions as we

CLAW WIPE TO:

INT. CAGE - HUDSON

We still don't know where we are. Hudson is pacing in his cage like a trapped tiger. An O.S. CREAK OF HINGES stops him. He looks O.S. and reacts grimly.

HUDSON
About time you came back.

ANOTHER ANGLE

We can tell now that we're in a dim-lit dungeon chamber. A shadowy figure approaches the cage as Hudson continues:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Why did you kidnap me? What
d'you want of me?

ON SHADOWED FIGURE

Approaching. As he speaks he steps into the range of light from the cage's bulb and is revealed to be XANATOS. He's holding a small box in one hand.

XANATOS
Nothing much, Hudson. Just --
your skin.

TWO SHOT - XANATOS AND HUDSON

Hudson glares warily at Xanatos, sword still at the ready.

HUDSON
You'll have the devil's own
task getting it.

FAVOR XANATOS

Urbane and unconcerned as ever.

XANATOS
I need your help in conducting
an experiment. It's dangerous,
so I felt it necessary to insure
your cooperation.

HUDSON
Experiment? What kind of
experiment?

ANOTHER ANGLE

Xanatos makes a dismissive gesture.

XANATOS
I won't bore you with technical
details. If the procedure is
successful, I'll release you.

FAVOR HUDSON

He trusts Xanatos about as far as he can comfortably spit a rat.

HUDSON
And if it isn't ...?

CLOSE ON XANATOS

He smiles.

XANATOS
Then you'll have the privilege
of giving your life for science.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Furious.

HUDSON
My clan will never rest until
they know where I am!

Xanatos is spectacularly unconcerned.

XANATOS
But they already know where
you are.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

Off his puzzled look, we PAN AWAY TO FRAME Xanatos as he opens the box and takes out a tiny statue of Hudson in sleep pose. He holds it up.

ANGLE INCLUDES HUDSON

Who stares at it.

XANATOS
This is just a sculptor's model,
of course. The real thing is
life-size -- and very life-like.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

He's screwed, and he knows it.

CUT TO:

EXT. EYRIE BUILDING - CASTLE COURTYARD - NIGHT

Xanatos and OWEN are conversing.

OWEN
The overseas shipment will
be here, but not before dawn.

CLOSER - FAVOR XANATOS

He's unusually excited. He slams a fist into a palm.

XANATOS
Very good, Owen. Now we have
to make sure the gargoyles don't
think to look here for Hudson. I
want them -- distracted.

ON OWEN

He nods slightly, poker-faced as usual.

OWEN
Understood.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where Lex and Broadway are guarding "Hudson". An ELECTRIC BOLT ZAPS the roof near them, scorching it and startling both of them.

LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
(surprised cries)

ANGLE INCLUDES

Macbeth, swooping toward them on another flying platform. Broadway and Lex are astounded to see that he's apparently risen from the dead.

LEXINGTON
It can't be! He's dead!

WIDE ANGLE

Macbeth ZAPS another bolt at them; this one comes perilously close to the Hudson statue. Both Lex and Hudson are forced to leap from the rooftop to avoid it.

BROADWAY
Well, for a ghost he sure
packs a wallop!

TRACK WITH GARGOYLES

As they swoop away from the rooftop.

BROADWAY
We've got to make him follow
us -- lead him away from Hudson!

Another POWER BOLT SCORCHES between them. They look back. REFIELD TO INCLUDE Macbeth, zooming after them.

LEXINGTON
I don't think that'll be a
problem!

ON MACBETH

He aims his weapon and FIRES again. During this:

MACBETH
I want your hides for trophies!

In the heat of battle, neither gargoyle notices that he says this exactly the same way he said it before; we should re-use the reading. Macbeth GAINS O.S. as we

CUT TO:

EXT. PRECINCT HOUSE - NIGHT

ELISA is just leaving, her shift over. MATT BLUESTONE parts company with her at the bottom of the steps.

ELISA
'Night, Matt.

EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Elisa is about to get into her car when a winged figure steps out from the shadows of the building.

ELISA
(surprised)
Goliath?

ON GOLIATH

He joins Elisa, glancing about to make sure they're alone.

ELISA
What's up?

ANOTHER ANGLE

Before Goliath can reply Brooklyn drops down INTO SHOT, landing next to them. Elisa reacts.

BROOKLYN
(to Goliath)
Figured I'd find you here.
(beat)
Nothing in the Grimorum that'll
help us.

FAVOR GOLIATH

He nods; the news is disappointing but not unexpected. He turns back to Elisa.

GOLIATH
We need your help finding
someone.

ELISA
Sure, you got it. Who you
looking for?

CLOSER - FAVOR BROOKLYN

Obviously not at all in favor of this.

BROOKLYN
(disgusted)
Believe it or not -- Demona.

REACTION SHOT - ELISA

She is, of course, quite taken aback.

ELISA
Must be important.
(beat)
You gonna tell me why?

FAVOR GOLIATH

We see he wants to, but:

GOLIATH
There's no time. But it's
imperative that we find her.

ELISA
We don't have any files on her;
most people don't even know she
exists. Finding her could take
weeks.

ANGLE INCLUDES

the brightening eastern horizon. Goliath glances at it.

GOLIATH
Do what you can -- please.
(beat)
I must go.

He and Brooklyn turn away, then stop as they and Elisa hear over Elisa's car radio:

DISPATCH (V.O.)
All units. Aerial disturbance at
South and Caroline streets. Laser
fire reported; use caution.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa, Goliath and Brooklyn look at each other.

BROOKLYN
That's not far from where we
left Hudson!

GOLIATH
Take to the air -- quickly!

ANGLE INCLUDES BUILDING

The two gargoyles climb swiftly up the side, digging holes in the masonry with their claws. APPROPRIATE SFX. PAN TO Elisa as she turns and dashes for her car.

CUT TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

A dark and dreary area, the deserted streets narrow and winding, with tall dark warehouses lining them. VERT. PAN UP TO FRAME Lexington and Broadway, fleeing for their lives, as another ELECTRICAL BOLT ZAPS a brick wall near them, SHATTERING it.

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Zooming along on his flying platform in close pursuit. We can see that the eastern sky is lightening.

MACBETH
Farewell, my enemies!

Again, the line is spoken exactly as previously.

TRACK WITH LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY

Flying through the narrow streets like Luke zooming along the Deathstar trench.

LEXINGTON
At least we led him away from
Hudson!

BROADWAY
Yeah -- now if only someone'd
lead him away from us!

ON LEXINGTON - FLYING

His expression becomes determined.

LEXINGTON
It's almost dawn -- and then
we'll be sitting ducks!

ANGLE WIDENS as he does a barrel roll, looping up in a backwards arc. During the next few shots we should be seeing the sky growing lighter and lighter.

LEXINGTON (CONT'D)
(battle cry)

ON MACBETH - FLYING

As Lex comes swooping down behind Macbeth, the latter turns and lines up on him with his weapon.

MACBETH
You'll have to do better than
that!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Just before Macbeth fires, however, Broadway CRASHES into him from behind. Macbeth does not cry out from the impact (he's a robot, remember?), nor is he knocked down as we would expect a human to be. Instead he turns and grapples with the surprised Broadway.

BROADWAY
(grunt of surprise)

ANGLE INCLUDES LEXINGTON

swooping down toward them; he reacts in astonishment as Macbeth picks up Broadway and hurls him from the careening platform.

BROADWAY
(surprised cry)

TRACK WITH BROADWAY

He pops open his wings, catches air, slowing his drop. As he does so, he looks up and reacts in surprise as he sees:

LOW ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Just in time for Lex to sail IN and be BATTED aside like an annoying insect by Macbeth's one-armed blow.

LEXINGTON
(stunned grunt)

ON BROADWAY

He lands on the fire escape next to a crane which holds a huge shipping crate on the end of its cable. The building has a sign on the building's wall that reads ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS. We can see the street; at the far end of it Elisa's car SCREECHES around the corner and heads toward us.

ON LEXINGTON

Rising on a thermal while he recovers from Macbeth's blow.

LEXINGTON
(groans)

ON TOP OF NEARBY BUILDING

Goliath and Brooklyn sail IN and land on the ledge, looking about for their clan mates. The world is trembling on the edge of dawn. Goliath points O.S. in astonishment.

GOLIATH
Over there!

ANGLE INCLUDES MACBETH

Turning his platform to come back for another shot at Lex.

GOLIATH (O.S. CONT'D)
Macbeth -- still alive?!

ZAP! Macbeth FIRES O.S.

ON LEXINGTON

The BOLTS SCORCH the air directly beneath him, forcing him to rise higher and higher.

ON GOLIATH AND BROOKLYN

Goliath prepares to leap into the air, but Brooklyn grabs his arm and points O.S. eastward in horror.

BROOKLYN
Goliath!

ANGLE INCLUDES

The horizon, where the molten edge of the sun has appeared across the East River.

RESUME GOLIATH AND BROOKLYN

The PETRIFACTION starts, moving swiftly up their bodies. Goliath stares up O.S., struggling against the inevitable.

GOLIATH
(strains)
Lexington --!

And then he is stone, as is Brooklyn.

ON LEXINGTON

ON THE CUT he TRANSFORMS also, and drops like -- well, like a rock.

ON BROADWAY AND ELISA

Elisa now standing beneath Broadway, both of them staring up in horror. Broadway has an extra second of consciousness before the terminator moves down the building and envelopes him -- just long enough to see his friend plummeting toward certain death.

BROADWAY
No!!

Then he TRANSFORMS.

ON ELISA

In shock as she watches Lexington falling.

HER POV - LEXINGTON

Falling straight toward us as we

FADE OUT

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - LOW ANGLE SHOT - DAWN - CONTINUOUS

The stone Lexington falling right INTO CAMERA.

ON ELISA

She's only got a couple of seconds to come up with something. She looks frantically this way and that, then spies something O.S. (Needless to say, these scenes must play like lightning.)

HER POV - SHIPPING CRATE

The huge shipping crate at the end of the crane cable, level with the second story of the building. ZOOM IN on the box's side, where the words ROYAL PERSIAN CARPETS are stenciled.

ON ELISA

She whips her gun from its shoulder holster, aims and FIRES up O.S. repeatedly, emptying the clip.

CLOSE ON CRANE BOOM

She's a helluva shot -- the bullets STRIKE the hoist cable at the pulley junction, its weakest point. The cable SNAPS; PULL BACK TO WIDE as the crate falls and SHATTERS on the street, releasing its cargo: a couple of dozen rolled up thick carpets. They barely have time to hit the street in a pile six feet thick before Lex CRASHES down on top of them, bounces, lands again on the very edge of the pile and lies still.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa races to Lexington's side. His stone form is unharmed.

ELISA
(big sigh)

CLOSER ON HER

She remembers Macbeth and looks up O.S.

HER POV - SKY

We can see Macbeth zooming away on his platform.

RESUME ELISA

Watching him go.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. EYRIE BUILDING - CASTLE COURTYARD - DAY

Where Xanatos and Owen are looking at a large wooden crate sitting on the flagstones. They each use a crowbar to lever the top open. The wood falls away with a CRASH.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Showing us -- and the two men -- what's inside the crate: a huge iron cauldron, obviously very old.

OWEN
Might I ask what it is?

FAVOR XANATOS

He runs his hand over the cauldron's lip. We can see Celtic runes engraved along the iron side.

XANATOS
The Cauldron Of Life.

WIDE ANGLE

Xanatos SNAPS a finger and several FLUNKIES come forward and begin DISMANTLING the crate. This action continues in b.g. as Xanatos and Owen walk away.

XANATOS (CONT'D)
I learned about it from ancient
Celtic texts. The legend says
it grants to whoever bathes in
it "a life as long as that of
stone itself."

OWEN
Ah. Your interest in it now
becomes clear.

XANATOS
Exactly. What good are all the
riches on Earth if Fox and I
are not around to enjoy them
forever?

CUT TO:

INT. GREAT HALL - DAY

Xanatos and Owen walk IN cross to the elevators.

OWEN
These ancient spells are often
dangerous. Our experience with
the Eye Of Odin proves that.

CLOSER ON THEM

The elevator doors open and they step in. As the doors close:

XANATOS
Which is why we'll test it
first.

CUT TO:

INT. DUNGEON - ON CAGE

Which contains the now-stone Hudson. REFIELD TO INCLUDE elevator doors, which open to reveal Owen and Xanatos. They
cross to the cage. During this:

XANATOS
Gargoyle physiology is similar
enough to humans to make
Hudson a good test subject.

CLOSE ON CAGE

On the floor of the cage we can see several shards of stone epidermis that Hudson shed the previous night. Xanatos' hand reaches IN and picks one up. PULL BACK TO INCLUDE him and Owen as he holds it up to examine it.

XANATOS (CONT'D)
Also, one of the key ingredients
for the cauldron's brew is the
stone skin of a gargoyle.

OWEN
Quite expedient.

XANATOS
Yes. And if the old gargoyle
is made young again, we'll
know it works.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Owen checks his watch.

OWEN
A pity we'll have to wait
twelve hours to test it.

ON XANATOS

Eyes all but glowing in anticipation.

XANATOS
Twelve hours isn't too long
to wait for eternity.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. WAREHOUSE ROOF - DUSK

Where the stone statues of Brooklyn and Goliath have been joined by Lexington and Broadway. Elisa is there waiting for them to wake up.

ANOTHER ANGLE

The sun vanishes beyond the western horizon and the four gargoyles SHATTER their stone skins and awaken.

BROOKLYN, GOLIATH, LEX, BROADWAY
(wake up)

FAVOR GARGOYLES

Lex's clan mates are surprised and overjoyed to see him. Lex is no less surprised at being there.

LEXINGTON
Hey -- I'm still alive!

BROOKLYN
It's a miracle!

Goliath looks over at Elisa, who smiles.

GOLIATH
Yes -- a miracle named Elisa.

WIDE ANGLE - ALL

The gargoyles crowd around Elisa.

LEXINGTON
How'd you save me from
shattering?

ELISA
That was easy. The hard part
was convincing the rug merchant
to have you and Broadway put up
on the roof.
(beat)
Now; I think I've earned the
right to know what's going on.

FAVOR GOLIATH

He picks Elisa up in his arms.

GOLIATH
We will show you.

CLAW WIPE TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Where "Hudson" keeps his lonely stone vigil. The gargoyles land, Goliath setting Elisa down. She's astonished.

ELISA
He's still stone!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa touches "Hudson", unable to believe this.

ELISA (CONT'D)
But it's night time.

GOLIATH
Precisely. Macbeth put a spell
on him.

BROADWAY
We haven't figured out why --
or why he keeps attacking us.

FAVOR GOLIATH

Thinking hard about it.

GOLIATH
It's almost as though he's trying
to keep us off guard while
something else goes on ...

ANOTHER ANGLE - ALL

A POWER BOLT from O.S. SHATTERS the edge of the roof, nearly toppling them all into the street.

GARGOYLES, ELISA
(surprised cries)

WIDE ANGLE

Here comes Macbeth again, FIRING furiously.

MACBETH
Farewell, my enemies!

ON GARGOYLES AND ELISA

Elisa dives for cover behind a brick chimney, pulling her gun as she does so. The gargoyles take to the air as more BOLTS ZING THROUGH, some coming perilously close to Hudson.

AERIAL SHOT - WIDE

The gargoyles circle Macbeth, avoiding the POWER BLASTS.

GOLIATH
Keep him away from Hudson!

ON ELISA

Lying behind the chimney, unable to get a clear shot. She ducks and covers as another nearby BLAST PEPPERS the chimney with stone shrapnel.

CUT TO:

INT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The Cauldron now sits in the center of the Hall, filled with water. Xanatos and Owen watch. Hudson is there, arms held by a Steel Clan robot. Xanatos holds a handful of stone skin fragments in one hand and Hudson's sword in the other.

XANATOS
Now for the final ingredient ...

CLOSE ON CAULDRON

He tosses the fragments in the water, and they DISSOLVE in a mystical flash. A beat; then, though no fire burns beneath the cauldron, the water apparently begins to BOIL.

FAVOR XANATOS AND HUDSON

Xanatos turns to the old gargoyle.

XANATOS
Time for your bath, Hudson.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

A POWER BOLT KNOCKS Broadway and Brooklyn out of the sky.

BROADWAY, BROOKLYN
(impact grunts)

They land on the roof's edge, half-stunned.

ON GOLIATH AND LEXINGTON

Swooping around for another pass. BOLTS SIZZLE THROUGH SHOT.

ON HUDSON STATUE

The POWER BOLTS are coming closer to it.

QUICK CUT - ELISA

She sees what's going to happen and reacts in horror.

QUICK CUT - LEXINGTON

He has the same reaction, but is too far away to do anything about it.

LEXINGTON
(gasps)

ON GOLIATH

Arrowing straight toward us, hands outstretched.

GOLIATH
Hudson --!!

ON "HUDSON"

As a POWER BOLT STRIKES the statue squarely, BLOWING it to hell and gone.

REACTION SHOT - GOLIATH

Utterly horrified, as we

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The robot lifts Hudson from behind. Hudson struggles futilely.

HUDSON
(struggles)

WIDE ANGLE

The robot carries him toward the cauldron as we

CUT TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The dust still settling from the destruction of the statue. Goliath drops INTO SHOT beside the fragments.

ON GOLIATH

His eyes blaze white. He is in a killing rage, angrier than we have ever seen him before. He glares up O.S. Another POWER BOLT BLISTERS the roof right next to him, but he doesn't even notice it. With a:

GOLIATH
(scream of rage)

he leaps from the roof and soars up O.S.

ON MACBETH

FIRING O.S. at the oncoming juggernaut.

ON GOLIATH - FLYING

He takes an almost-direct HIT by a BOLT; it knocks him back, but he flaps his wings and recovers, gets back on track.

GOLIATH
(growls)

He's HIT again, but nothing can stop him.

WIDE ANGLE - MACBETH'S FLYING PLATFORM

Goliath muscles his way through another BLAST by sheer force of will and lands on the platform.

CLOSER

Before Macbeth can fire again Goliath tears the weapon from his hands and CRUSHES it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Goliath's to angry to notice Macbeth's lack of fear. He grabs the robot, sustaining a massive SHOCK doing so. But he doesn't let go. Holding on with one hand, ELECTRICITY CRACKLING the length of his arm, he cocks the other fist back.

GOLIATH
Murderer!!

CLOSE ON THEM

As Goliath SMASHES a piledriver blow straight into Macbeth's chest, CRUSHING it. Circuitry SPARKS, FLASHES. Macbeth spasms as his system shorts out. When he speaks his voice RUNS DOWN like a slowing tape:

MACBETH
You'll have ... to do ...
better ... than ... that ...

Goliath stares in disbelief.

CUT TO:

INT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

Hudson's about to be dumped in the cauldron. He struggles.

HUDSON
(struggles)

FAVOR XANATOS

He holds up the sword tauntingly.

XANATOS
Relax, Hudson. Without your
sword, you're helpless.

CLOSE ON HUDSON

And we see that his struggles mask the sight of one hand reaching beneath his hauberk and pulling out a long sharp shard of epithelial stone.

HUDSON
Weaponless, maybe ...

WIDE ANGLE

As Hudson whips his arm around, driving the shard back directly into the face plate of the robot behind him. The robot SHORTS OUT spectacularly and falls away. During this:

HUDSON (CONT'D)
Helpless, never!

ANOTHER ANGLE

With one side free, Hudson drops his feet on the cauldron's side, balancing on the narrow lip, then leaps forward.

HUDSON
(battle cry)

PAN WITH HIM as he does a forward flip over the cauldron, wings folded, and IMPACTS feet-first squarely into Xanatos, KNOCKING the latter O.S. Owen reacts in surprise.

XANATOS
(impact grunt)

ON WALL

Xanatos SLAMS against it, dropping Hudson's sword. He then slides down to sprawl on the floor, stunned.

XANATOS
(stunned grunt)

ON HUDSON AND OWEN

Hudson grabs up his sword and whips about to face Owen. He points a warning finger at Xanatos' charge d'affaires.

HUDSON
Behave yourself, boy.

It's a Mexican stand-off for a beat, then:

ANGLE INCLUDES DOORS

Which SMASH open, revealing Goliath, Lexington, Broadway and Brooklyn, all of them decidedly pissed off.

GOLIATH
Xanatos, you will pay for --

He breaks off in astonishment at the sight of Hudson, alive and well.

BROOKLYN
Hudson?!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Hudson's clan mates rush to him.

HUDSON
It's about time you showed up.

LEXINGTON
We thought you were dead!

BROADWAY
We saw Macbeth shatter you!

BROOKLYN
Yeah -- we left Elisa to guard
your remains.

FAVOR HUDSON

He's got no idea what they're talking about.

HUDSON
Macbeth? Remains? Have ye all
gone daft?

FAVOR GOLIATH

He notices Owen, standing by Xanatos' stunned form and speaking sotto into a cellular phone.

GOLIATH
I think explanations had best
wait. Come!

CUT TO:

EXT. EYRIE BUILDING - CASTLE - NIGHT

The gargoyles leap from the battlements and soar away over the city just as several of Xanatos' COMMANDOS rush IN. They FIRE LASERBLASTS after them, but it's too late.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. ROOFTOP - NIGHT

Elisa stands looking forlornly at "Hudson's" remains. The flying platform and the ruined Macbeth robot are nearby.

ELISA
I'm sorry, Hudson ... I wish
it hadn't turned out this
way ...

As she speaks, the gargoyles drop silently down INTO SHOT behind her. Hudson now has his sword in his belt. They grin as they hear Elisa's words.

HUDSON
All things considered, I'm
glad it did, lass.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Elisa whips about in comical astonishment.

ELISA
Hudson --? What --? You're
not --?

HUDSON
It's a long story, my bonnie,
and one best told over a hot
cup of tea.

WIDE ANGLE

Goliath scoops Elisa up. Hudson picks up the statue's head.

HUDSON
I think I'll keep this as a
souvenir. Not everyone can
reclaim their head after
losing it.

ON ROOF'S EDGE

The gargoyles glide into the night, Goliath holding Elisa.

WIPE TO:

EXT. GREAT HALL - NIGHT

Owen is helping Xanatos to his feet. The cauldron still BUBBLES in b.g. Xanatos is angry.

XANATOS
Blast it! I was so close to
finding out if the legend was
true. Now there's no one to
test it on.

REVERSE ANGLE

Owen crosses to the cauldron in f.g., pulling up his sleeve.

OWEN
Allow me, sir ...

CLOSE ON WATER

Owen plunges his fist into the "boiling" water.

TWO SHOT - OWEN AND XANATOS

Xanatos watches in surprise as Owen pulls his fist out. The fist and arm are now solid stone up to the cuff's edge. Owen reacts quite unemotionally to this.

OWEN
It would appear, sir, that
the cauldron's spell of
immortality has a price.

XANATOS
Yes ... what was the legend?
"A life as long as that of
stone itself."
(beat)
Thank you, Owen. That will
be all.

He turns and walks O.S., leaving Owen standing there with his new stone hand as we

FADE OUT

THE END

"THE CAGE" Memo...

In prep for a ramble on "The Cage", here is the memo that I wrote to Brynne Chandler Reaves on Lydia Marano's 1st draft outline...

WEISMAN 12-13-94

Notes on "The Cage" Outline...

Brynne, call me when you get these.

GENERAL
I hate to sound like a broken record but this begins too slow. I've tried not to write a whole new story. But I have condensed things -- moving the kidnapping up into the first act, etc.

A secondary problem that only occurred to me Sunday is that we have to re-introduce Talon to our audience before we begin to misdirect them into thinking that Talon is the kidnapper. Otherwise, they'll see the silhouette of a big guy with wings and correctly guess that the kidnapper is Goliath. (When the story begins, Talon will have only appeared in one other episode; Goliath will have been in at least 25.) Talon won't even enter their minds until he is re-introduced later in the first act. By that time, we'll need to change their mind regarding the kidnapper's identity. A difficult task, considering that the audience already would have assumed the truth.

MUTATE rather than MUTANT.

At start of story... Goliath is to Talon what Xanatos is to Elisa.

THEME: Cages of all kinds. Use every opportunity to reinforce it.

Need to make sure that in the first two acts, we've set up Maggie's desperate need for a cure. But more importantly, we must set up the warm interdependent relationship between Maggie and Talon. Need to believe their feelings for each other are real before we get to Act Three.

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
I. Maza Family Dinner. Beth spots winged creature at window.

II. Clock Tower. Elisa talks to Goliath.
A. She hates to lie to her family about Derek.
1. Even if it's just a lie by omission.
B. By the way, G has to be more careful. Beth spotted him.
1. Wasn't me, Goliath says.
2. One of the other gargs? G doesn't think so.
3. Elisa's very excited. Could it be Derek?
4. Goliath is quiet. Deciding what to do.
C. G reveals to E that Talon and Mutates are back w/Xanatos.
1. Last few weeks, he's seen them near Eyrie Building.
2. Didn't tell her because he knew it would hurt her.
3. He feels powerless to help her.
D. Elisa insists that Goliath take her there.

III. Eyrie Building.
A. Action. Goliath vs. Talon, Fang & Claw.
1. Elisa tries to stop fight. Talon is torn.
2. Maggie stops fight.
a. She hates the fighting.
b. We see that Talon listens to her.
3. Magnanimous Xanatos seconds the motion.
a. He's pleased that the Mutates defend his castle.
b. But Goliath and Elisa are not the enemy.
B. Elisa confronts Talon: X is the enemy.
1. Maggie defends X as their only chance for a cure.
2. Elisa says X is the cause not the cure.
3. Talon: No -- Sevarius and Goliath caused this.
4. Reveal that Talon believes Sev. to be dead.
a. Either show flashback to "Metamorphosis"
b. Or be very clear for our audience:
i. Why he thinks Sev is dead.
ii. And why he blames Goliath.
5. Elisa hasn't seen Sev, so she can't be sure.
a. But she expresses some doubt that he's dead.
b. Talon: if Sev is alive now, he won't be for long.
6. Elisa and Goliath leave.
C. X secretly tells Owen to warn Sev to disappear for awhile.

IV. Gen-U-Tech.
A. Sev is kidnapped. Nobody sees. Very Quick.
B. Elisa arrives seconds later in her car.
1. Confirms w/security guard that Sev is alive.
a. She just missed him.
2. Another winged figure listens from above.
a. It's actually Talon.
b. But audience, and even Elisa, will assume it's G.
i. Elisa's touched G's so concerned about her.

V. Sev caged by unseen captor in underground Cyberbiotics Lab.

VI. Eyrie Building.
A. Owen has not been able to reach Sev.
1. Talon probably got to him first.
B. On battlements, Talon returns. Mutates confab.
1. Talon now knows Sev didn't die in "Metamorphosis".
2. But "dealing" with Sev is only half the job.
3. Sev couldn't have faked his death without help.
4. Goliath is Talon's #1 suspect.
5. Maggie doesn't agree but...
a. She let's slip about the Clock Tower.

VII. Fang, Claw and Maggie attack Clock Tower.
A. Maggie is present but is terrified by fighting.
B. Hudson and Bronx are the only Gargoyles there.
1. They put up a valiant fight but are defeated.

ACT TWO
VIII. Underground Lab. Sev agrees to work on cure for unseen captor.

IX. Clock Tower. Hudson regains consciousness.
A. Fang & Claw await Goliath's return.
1. So they can bring him back to Talon, as ordered.
2. Hudson warns them it'll be a long wait.
a. Goliath said he'd be gone for a few nights.
i. It's actually the truth.
ii. But the mutates don't buy it.
iii. Neither will the audience.

X. Eyrie Building.
A. Owen checks all locations where Talon might hold Sev.
B. Talon confronts X.
1. Until recently, Sev was alive & working at G-U-Tech.
2. X admits that he was fooled by Sev's "death".
a. Goliath and Sev must've been working together.
b. G wants Sev to create more monsters like him.
c. This confirms Talon's suspicions.
3. X has known for some time that Sev was alive.
a. He's had Sev working on a cure at Gen-U-Tech.
b. Didn't want to get Talon's hopes up.
4. But Sev was close to a cure.
a. If it's not too late...
b. Talon should release him to X's custody....

XI. Clock Tower. Trio return home.
A. Hudson manages to warn them.
B. Battle.
1. Fang & Claw are more powerful...
2. But Gargoyles are more experienced fighters.
3. Gargoyles win.
C. Brooklyn talks to Maggie.
1. He's over his crush on her.
2. But he still tries to get her to see reason.
a. G was there that night to save her from Sev.
b. G & Sev aren't partners.
c. Xanatos must be culprit.
3. Maggie doesn't want to hear it.
a. Xanatos is their only chance for a cure.
b. Gargoyles must be at fault.
4. To prove her wrong, Brooklyn lets the Mutates go.

XII. Gen-U-Tech. Elisa's back, still looking for missing Sev.
A. She's very worried that Derek has done something stupid.
B. Checking security-camera footage for when Sev left earlier.
1. Does enhancing tricks to confirm Sev was snatched.
2. Enhances more to get a look at kidnapper.
a. Off her reaction...

XIII. Cyberbiotics. Reveal Goliath as kidnapper of Sev.

ACT THREE
XIV. Eyrie Building. Talon tells Xanatos that he doesn't have Sev.
A. Owen enters w/news from Gen-U-Tech.
1. Looks like Sev. "left with" Goliath.
a. Comes across as proof that Sev & G are partners.
2. Doesn't take long for Owen to deduce where G is.
a. Only one abandoned lab that G knows about.
i. CyberBiotics Underground Research Lab.
B. Talon takes off.
C. Other Mutates are just getting back from Clock Tower.
2. They go after him.

XV. CyberBiotics. Goliath is watching Sev work on serum.
A. Elisa enters. (Calm before the storm.)
1. She deduced his location (same as Owen did).
2. Why did Goliath do it?
a. He could see how Derek's condition hurt Elisa.
b. He was afraid that if Talon got to Sev first...
i. then Sev wouldn't survive to cure Derek.
c. Seemed like only way to get cure from Sev.
3. Elisa: Ends don't justify the means.
a. Besides, wouldn't work anyhow.
b. They can't trust Sev.
i. How do they know "the cure" is safe?
4. Goliath agrees to release Sev.
B. Too late. Talon arrives, with Mutates on his heals.
1. Positive that G and Sev are in cahoots.
2. Talon attacks G.
a. This time E. can't stop them.
C. Mutates join in.
1. It's curtains for Goliath and Sev.
D. Sev tries to save his skin with the cure.
1. There's enough here for one.
b. But he can make enough for all four.
2. Talon and Fang don't care.
a. Claw and especially Maggie care a great deal.
b. Maggie reaches out to Talon.
i. What's more important?
ii. Vengeance or Humanity?
3. For her sake, he relents, and gives her the serum.
a. Maggie clutches the serum like it was a diamond.
4. Sev tries to get Talon to take it instead of Maggie.
a. Which makes everyone suspicious.
b. Situation on verge of heating up again.
E. Armored Xanatos steps out of shadows.
1. Rescues Sev.
2. Things seemed under control.
a. But Sev overplayed his hand, as usual.
3. Talon finally gets message about X.
4. X: "So sue me." or some such.
5. He takes off with Sev.
a. Parting shot from Sev: "Serum's poison."
F. Maggie still wants to take it.
1. She thinks Sev lied to preserve his "creations".
a. It's a risk she's willing to take.
b. Because it's better to die than to live a monster.
2. Talon disagrees strongly.
a. Life is more important than normalcy.
b. Besides, he's a monster too.
3. She thinks he's stronger than she is.
4. But Talon couldn't have made it without her.
a. Neither are strong alone.
b. They are strong together.
5. She puts the serum aside.
G. Goliath offers Mutates a home with his gargoyle clan.
1. Thanks, but no.
2. Talon has his own clan (i.e. Mutates).
3. And his own family...

XVI. CYBERBIOTICS UNDERGROUND LAB - A few NIGHTS later.
A. Elisa brings Peter, Diane and Beth.
1. They are reunited with Talon.
a. Hint Maggie.
b. Fang and Claw in b.g.
B. Goliath watches, pleased.
C. Sevarius' cage sits empty. The door wide open.

"PROTECTION" Memo

[In prep for my ramble on "Protection", here's the memo I faxed to Story Editor/Writer Gary Sperling. (Actually, I'm retyping it -- old typos and maybe some new ones included -- because I don't have a computer file. Just the hard copy.) You'll notice that it's more abbreviated than usual. Note the date. I was on vacation at the time. Plus, the outline may have been in better shape. Also note that the episode's original title was "Undercover". But we realized that Elisa wasn't so much going undercover, and that we'd save that concept for what eventually became "Turf". Besides the one word title, "Protection", was hard to resist given our on-going themes.]

WEISMAN 12-29-94

Notes on "Undercover/Protection" Outline...

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
1. Restaurant blows up. Keep very brief.

2. Glasses joins Tony in the limo. Glasses has heard that dirty cops are muscling in on their protection racket.

3. News report to Gargoyles. PRoTECTION RACKET. Goliath wants to see Elisa. She hasn't stopped by in days. Where has she been?

4. ChAvez asking Matt same question. As MATT brings in #3 to question him about restaurant bombing. Elisa arrives late. Matt: "Where you been?" Don't crowd me Bluestone. Asks for time alone with #3 Matt gives it. Elisa starts to talk obliquely about her moving in. Chavez interrupts and suspends her while she's under investigation. Maza protests that she's innocent. HAs to turn in badge and gun.

5. Elisa storms outside. Goliath and Broadway follow.

6. #3 calls Dracon.

7. Pool Hall - reveal Elisa.

ACT BREAK??

Glasses and #3 comes in.

8. Pursuit.? or HUSSLES ELISA OUT.

9. Goliath and Broadway intervene. CHASE.

Elisa pulls the rug out from under G. She leaves w/Glasses.

Goliath says she's under a spell. BW says maybe there's another explanation.

10. Glasses and Dracon. Elisa in the next room. Send her in. You guys get to work.

Elisa and Dracon.

11. Grocery Store: MATT (disguised) and owner. Matt and Glasses.

12. Some phony store. Maria, Morgan and #3. After #3 leaves they make reference to one of their plans is sure to nail Dracon.

13. Goliath and Broadway have gone bad at Dracon's Penthouse.

ACT BREAK

Finish out 13.

Intercut:
14. Broadway helps Maria and Morgan against #3 (and Glasses?)

15. Matt and Elisa nab Dracon. He's ready with men and bomb.

Goliath and Elisa work together to diffuse situation.

(Matt and Goliath relationship should be vague.)

Elisa gets her shield and gun back.

16. Reveal clearly what everyone probably knows by now. Elisa was undercover. BW figured it out and tipped off G. Some PROTECTION TAG.

DRACON OUT ON BAIL?????????

"Upgrade" MEMO

[In preparation for my new ramble for ASK GREG & the DCV, here's my original memo to Story Editor Gary Sperling on Adam Gilad's first draft outline of the episode "Upgrade". Note the date. At the time I wrote this, "Deadly Force" had just recently aired, but the rest of the first season was being saved for early 1995.]

WEISMAN 11-30-94

Notes on "Upgrade" Outline...

GENERAL
TRIO
My big fear is that Brooklyn didn't feel like leader material in this. To our audience he's going to come off as cautious and wimpy throughout most of the episode, with the added problem that he's subject to peer pressure. This is particularly problematic in that Brooklyn has always been defined as the MOST adventurous of our trio. Ultimately, the qualities that will define him as a leader include strategic abilities, common sense, a willingness to sacrifice... and, yes, knowing when to retreat and/or call for help. But if we make the latter quality into Brooklyn's first instinct, it will overshadow the others. And our audience won't buy him as leader. Maybe more important than all of this should be a natural unconscious quality of leadership, which parallel's Broadway and Lexington's roles as followers. When they stop thinking and slip into automatic pilot, Brooklyn naturally seems to give the orders and the others naturally follow.

These guys do work well as a team, don't be afraid to show that. We've got a competitive thing going between them that will tend to screw up their natural teamwork, but if we're going to prove our point, then we need to see moments when they forget to be competitive and just cooperate. In any case, let's not make them infantile. When you define competitiveness think Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in Top Gun. These are young warriors, not children elbowing each other as they fly.

Let's also avoid setting up non-existent flaws in Lex and Broadway. Things like Broadway being slow to awaken is just not born out in any of our other episodes. They all wake up within a few seconds of each other at sunset.

Having said all this, you'll see below that I gave them less screen time, mostly because it choreographed cleaner, but also because it really put something at stake other than the contest for leader (i.e. the lives of their friends). Plus I've isolated them from everyone that usually provides them with help or advice (Goliath, Hudson, Elisa and even Bronx). So I'm crossing my fingers that what we lose in quantity time, we will make up for in quality.

PACK
I'm also concerned that we've Upgraded the Pack, only to make them seem even more incompetent than ever. They've got to feel considerably more dangerous. We need to believe the Gargoyles barely survived this go 'round. The Pack's leadership issues cannot get too far in the way of their success. Ultimately the gargoyles do triumph because their teamwork under Brooklyn defeats a divided Pack. But if the Pack members are just at each others throats through the whole program, they'll never feel like a viable threat. Remember, despite the dangerously unstable personalities involved (including Coyote, but not Dingo), the Pack's fighting style is based on teamwork by definition. Let them play to their strength, that way it'll be even more ironic when the gargoyles defeat them through teamwork driven by sound leadership.

PACK UPGRADE SPECS
What follows may be what you had in mind, but I want to make sure we're all operating off the same page.

WOLF - gets turned into a werewolf. The biggest and most obvious change will be to his head, which will have a canine shape. Like Talon and his mutants, Wolf will be covered with hair all over, his hands will be clawed, and he'll have haunches. He cannot fly, but he can leap far distances. He'll probably have a better sense of smell and hearing, but I want to downplay these last qualities, because I think they can come off as silly. (Let's not make him an object of ridicule to his teammates simply because he's gotten more dog-like. They are all themed off canines. Both Coyote's head and Dingo's helmet will be dog-shaped as well. I would think that Jackal, Hyena and Coyote would all respect the power which came with his choice of Upgrade. Hyena might make an obnoxious comment here or there, but the only one who's really attacking his choice is Dingo -- and obviously it's not for aesthetic reasons.) Wolf will be much stronger than he was, now on a par with Goliath.

JACKAL & HYENA - become Cyborgs. Half human. Half machine. And the machine parts are NOT camouflaged as human. They have built in weapons. Cyborg legs will also allow them to leap far distances. Maybe even built in flight capabilities. And their strength will increase to Gargoyle level. Maybe not as strong as Goliath or Broadway, but equal or above the others.

DINGO - wears full body armor, including a helmet. Sort of like what we thought Xanatos was wearing as Coyote (in "Leader of the Pack") before we found out Coyote was a robot. (Model sheets are available for Coyote if you're unclear.) The focus should be on his armor, not on "weapons". All the weapons are built in. And the armor should be as flexible and powerful as Xanatos' own Gargoyle armor (screen "The Edge"), plus whatever latest innovations were thrown into this design. That means Dingo should be able to fly. Rocket jets in his boots. Or a rocket pack on his back. Probably not as maneuverable or graceful as a Gargoyle, but he can hover, which they can't do. Again, his strength level is now increased. Probably just under Wolf and Goliath range. (Note: Dingo also has less screen time than I'd like to be able to give him here, so we've really got to make his moments of uneasiness about his partners count. One visual clue that I think will help is the fact that Dingo removes his helmet every chance he gets. He subconsciously needs periodic reassurance that the helmet isn't a part of him and that he hasn't in fact relinquished his humanity.)

COYOTE - Although he's still programmed to have a slightly more vengeful version of Xanatos' personality, Coyote doesn't look like Xanatos anymore. What would be the point? He looks like a huge exaggerated version of the original Coyote. Mighty Joe Young may be a little too big, but you get the idea. If Goliath is eight feet tall than Coyote-II is more like ten or eleven, and built like a gorilla. Coyote is definitely stronger than Goliath, and he can fly. Being huge may have it's disadvantages, but not too many. This is the most powerful and sophisticated robot that Xanatos has built yet. It's computer brain (at least part of which should be the damaged head from "Leader") is well-protected in the robot's chest.

PACK ATTACK VEHICLE - This isn't and never was a van. It flies. It submerges underwater. This is super high-tech. I'm not sure if it even has an exhaust pipe. Model sheets exist if you need to see them.

OWEN vs. COYOTE'S HEAD
You can't have Owen. He's a stand-in for Xanatos, and you've already got one of those: the damaged head of Coyote from "Leader".

LEXINGTON'S TRACKING DEVICE vs. FOX
You can't have this device either. I don't want to ever make the gargoyles too high-tech in their crime-fighting. If we give Lex the ability to make one of these here, we're stuck with him having this knowledge and wondering all the time why he doesn't use it over and over. Besides, why would he create a device that tracks, but only tracks when it's inhaling carbon monoxide fumes?

At any rate, the gargoyles may not need the device. They have a secret ally that even they are not aware of: Fox. It's obvious here how Xanatos is manipulating his chess pieces. But Fox doesn't seem to be moving hers in opposition. She's simply counting on them to defeat the Pack. In some subtle way, let her "move" her pieces too. [Note: the method I use below is semi-goofy at best. If you like it you can use it, but feel free to come up with something better.]

Also, please be careful that Xanatos doesn't say anything that might imply that he threw the match. If he wasn't trying his best to win, he wasn't respecting Fox as an opponent.

MONTAGE vs. NO MONTAGE
Sorry. After cuts were made for both S&P and for things that I did not want to reveal, there wasn't anything left. So out it went.

HUDSON
All gargoyles sleep as stone to recharge during the day, which allows them to operate at their peak throughout the night. Hudson's peak may not be what it once was, but he doesn't need extra downtime at night.

BEAT OUTLINE
ACT ONE
1. Night. Bank job being carried out by what's left of the PACK: WOLF, JACKAL, HYENA and DINGO. There's an air of desperation here. They need money because they are on the run. They get to the roof, where their PACK ATTACK VEHICLE is hovering. And where it has attracted the attention of the patrolling gargoyles: BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY and GOLIATH. There is a battle. The Pack is a bit out-classed, but only just. The Pack has the weapons and technology. What they lack is flight capability, brute strength (Wolf is incredibly strong for a human, but no match for Goliath) and leadership (Wolf acts like he's the leader, the others just don't naturally follow him). In contrast, Goliath leads his troops effectively. Give the Pack credit for figuring that out. They agree to take out the leader. And they do. Goliath is injured.
The Pack get away in their vehicle, but without the money. Lex momentarily wants to pursue his hated enemies, but as sirens approach, Brooklyn thinks the priority should be to get Goliath back to the safety of the CLOCK TOWER. He asks Broadway to help him carry Goliath. Neither Lex or Broadway question Brooklyn's leadership at this stage. Nor do any of the three, including Brooklyn, make a point of saying that Brooklyn is in charge. He just says some very common sense things and the others see the sense in it and follow his lead.

2. Meanwhile, the Pack Vehicle flies through the Manhattan Night. Maybe some brief sniping between the members, before there's a knock on the door... which seems odd at this altitude. Almost despite himself, Dingo opens the hatch to reveal COYOTE'S HEAD flying alongside on it's little mini-rocket. It still has half of Xanatos' face, and it asks politely in Xanatos' voice if it can come in. (There's also a model sheet completed on this damaged head. It looks pretty cool if you want the reference.)

3. Back at the Clock Tower near dawn, HUDSON tends to Goliath. It's a bad laser burn, but it'll heal when the sun rises and they turn to stone. But it brings up something that's concerned Hudson for awhile. He hates to even say it, but next time Goliath might not be so lucky. Goliath needs to name a second-in-command. Goliath chooses Hudson, of course. But Hudson declines. Goliath was Hudson's lieutenant and became his successor when it was time for Hudson to step down. Goliath needs to choose one of the trio. But first Goliath must sleep. The trio hear all this. Hudson has intentionally made no attempt to hide the conversation from them. They all straighten-up, leader-like. And the sun rises. Goliath turns to stone still cradled in his comrades arms.

4. Because the sun has risen, the Pack Vehicle dives beneath the surface of the Hudson River (or the East River or the Bay or whatever). It comes to a stop on the bottom and rests.
Inside, the Coyote Head has literally latched itself onto the ships computers. He's lowered a screen and is starting his sales pitch. Tired of being out-classed by the gargoyles? Ready to be as strong as them? To fly like them? Etc.? Well, let me show you what we can do. Is Genetic-Engineering your passion? (He shows footage of TALON in action trashing Goliath.) Or is Cybernetics more your style? (He shows footage of COLDSTONE trashing Goliath.) A little high-tech haberdashery, perhaps? (Footage of XANATOS in his GARGOYLE ARMOR trashing Goliath, with at least one shot of Xanatos with the helmet off.) Or my favorite, Robotics? (Footage of COYOTE trashing Goliath. This obviously doesn't apply to the four humans, but I want to get it in here to hint at Coyote's rebirth as well.)
Obviously, they are all very interested. Dingo goes for the armor and pretty much writes off the rest as horror show. The other three don't state their preferences. Coyote Head: "All made possible by the men and women of XANATOS ENTERPRISES." Where is Xanatos? Occupied at the moment, but happy to be of assistance.

5. At the castle, Xanatos and FOX seem to be playing chess, but we don't get to see the game board or the pieces. Xanatos has made the first move.

6. Super: ONE MONTH LATER. Clock Tower. The trio are just leaving to patrol the city separately and in competition. They've hardly done anything else, each is so intent on being Goliath's second in command. Hudson's in his comfy chair with the t.v. set on, but he's not watching. After the trio leave, he chides Goliath, who has to decide between the three young warriors. Goliath seems strangely reluctant to choose.
Just then ELISA enters. The desk sergeant just received an "anonymous" tip on the Pack's location. S.W.A.T. Teams from three precincts are mobilizing. But Elisa has listened to a recording of the tip and recognized the voice as Xanatos'. She'd like to be there in an unofficial capacity. Goliath agrees. No time to wait for the trio, but the Pack can be tough, so they'll take BRONX. They leave in such a hurry, Hudson doesn't bother to turn off the t.v.

7. An abandoned building scheduled for demolition, which the police have totally surrounded. The S.W.A.T. LEADER talks through a megaphone, giving the Pack a chance to surrender peacefully. There is no response. Tear gas canisters are shot through the windows -- followed by an explosion that practically levels the building. The tear gas couldn't have caused that. The building must have been rigged to blow.
Goliath, Elisa, Hudson and Bronx watch from a nearby rooftop. At first they don't notice the little Coyote Head, which zips around the site like a humming bird looking for food. Then the head spots them and approaches. It tells them that this little display was just designed to attract their attention. If the gargoyles really want to find the Pack, they're going to have to follow the head, which they do.

8. Goliath, Elisa, Hudson and Bronx follow the Head to a construction site. It's the skeletal beginnings of a skyscraper. As soon as they arrive the new ARMORED DINGO flies in. After Dingo, comes the new CYBORG JACKAL and HYENA, followed finally by the new WERE-WOLF. Our heroes are surrounded.

ACT TWO
9. Picking up where we left off, we have a fight. The Coyote-Head zips away and with Hudson's blessing Goliath follows it. (He thinks it will lead to the source of the trouble.) Although the Pack works together, there are hints that they are in some competition with each other. Ultimately, the Pack knocks out Hudson, Elisa and Bronx, with Wolf personally taking down Hudson.
Elsewhere in the structure, Goliath catches up to the Head which says that it would like to introduce Goliath to its "better half". A huge shadow looms.
Back with the Pack, where we get a sense of the tension between the members. As Dingo takes off his helmet, hint that he hasn't been able to get over the horrific things that his teammates have had done to their bodies. We also find out they've been fighting over who should lead. They agreed before the fight that whoever took out the biggest gargoyle, would get to be the leader. Wolf took out Hudson, so he feels entitled.
On cue, Goliath is knocked through a brick wall. He falls unconscious at their feet. And then the rest of the wall is knocked down to reveal the new robot COYOTE-II: "Sorry, Wolf. I think my Goliath tops your Hudson."
The Pack are all stunned, but for Hyena it's love at first sight: "Coyote, honey, is that you?" A panel slides open inside Coyote's chest to reveal the Coyote Head literally plugged into the inner workings of this huge machine. No way Wolf is taking orders from a machine. No one ever said Coyote was part of the contest. Wolf is still leader. But Hyena disagrees, she's siding with her new boyfriend. Jackal can't believe his sister has fallen in love with a glorified toaster oven. He's not exactly Wolf's biggest fan, but he's got to go with old furball. They all turn to Dingo to break the tie. Dingo looks at his helmet. He makes it clear that he's not wild about his options: a robot who thinks he's human or a lunatic who gave up his humanity. But he turns to Coyote and says, "O.K. boss, what's our next move?"

10. Back at the Clock Tower, the trio are each getting back after a night of competitively patrolling the city alone. Lex prevented two muggings. Brooklyn prevented one mugging and scared off a burglar. Broadway stopped three muggings and an armed robbery: "Just have to know where to look," he says proudly. Then they realize that the tower is empty. Even Bronx is gone. And if Hudson and Goliath lugged Bronx along with them it must have been trouble.

11. Cut to the interior of some kind of hanger for the Pack Attack Vehicle. We do not get an exterior to show us where we are, but we do hear a train go by every minute or so. Goliath, Hudson, Bronx and Elisa are in a glass chamber filled with a colored gas that keeps them unconscious. Wolf isn't at all pleased about waiting around. How is sitting on their hands going to help them find the other gargoyles? But Coyote has a plan. It's midnight now. At 4:30 am they'll release Bronx from the chamber. He'll almost definitely lead them straight to the Gargoyle's Home Base. And he should get there just before sunrise, allowing the Pack to arrive just after sunrise and smash the remaining gargoyles into gravel.

12. In Xanatos' office, he and Fox are still playing chess. Xanatos: "You're in check, my dear."

ACT THREE
13. The trio are still waiting for Goliath et al at the clock tower. It's 3 A.M. and they are very worried. It's only a couple hours 'til sunrise. And no sign of Elisa either. And the tension isn't doing wonders for their dispositions. They argue over what to do. The television gives them a clue when a report comes in about the bombing at the abandoned building. The report mentions that the fire was contained because the police were already on the scene, having received a false tip that those escaped felons (and former television stars) known as the Pack were there. They're about to head out to investigate, when they hear "The following is a paid commercial message." Lex recognizes the voice as Fox's. Brooklyn didn't think Fox was still in the Pack. But the commercial continues. "Tired of walking up Lexington Avenue? Sick of taking the bus down Broadway? Fed up with driving your car to Brooklyn? Then take the subway!" And an image appears on the screen of a place where multiple tracks criss-cross above ground. Well, that can't be a coincidence. One of them recognizes the location, he's flown over it. But is this a tip or a trap? Well, what choice do they have? Off they go.

14. Trio arrive at Train crossing. Again, there are multiple tracks crossing in multiple directions, and every minute or so, another train rushes by at high speed. They find a large metal shack, that's supposed to house train cars or something, but is acting as a hangar for the Pack Vehicle instead. They sneak in and get a look at the upgraded Pack and their sleeping friends. Broadway and Lexington are all for mounting an immediate attack. Brooklyn is reluctant. Just look at the size of Coyote, who's in the middle of putting a tracking device on Bronx. They need help to defeat these guys. But where are they going to get help? From Goliath and the rest. Our priority should be freeing them. Both Broadway and Lex try to peer pressure him. Maybe he's afraid to fight without Goliath, but they're not. But Brooklyn isn't biting. He's not scared, and he's also not stupid. They need a plan.
A little bit later, Brooklyn makes his presence known and then takes off as a decoy. Coyote figures as much, but Wolf and Jackal won't listen to reason and take off after him. And right after they leave, the power goes out inside the hanger, thanks to Lex. Dingo reaches for his helmet, but it's not there. Broadway has it and throws it with all his might at the sleep chamber. The helmet smashes a hole in the chamber, allowing the gas to pour out. But meanwhile things don't look good for the trio. Coyote slams into Broadway carrying them both outside. Hyena and Dingo pursue Lex.
So outside the battle continues amid the backdrop of unpredictable and speeding trains shooting past on random tracks. Eventually, however, Brooklyn's delaying tactic pays off. The others have been given the opportunity to recover from the sleep chamber. They join the fight, and the tide of the battle turns. The Pack is defeated. GARY, LET'S DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENS TO THE PACK AT THE END OF THIS SHOW.

15. Back at the clock tower, Goliath realizes that tonight's events only prove what Hudson has been saying all along. He must choose a second in command. He's had a choice in mind for weeks, but has been reluctant to reveal it, because he was afraid that it would drive a wedge between the trio. But tonight they worked together and saved the clan. He has to trust that they are mature enough to handle this. He chooses Brooklyn. (This without being aware of who spear-headed tonight's success.) The others are genuinely happy for Brooklyn. He proved himself to them. They take their places outside and Brooklyn looks across the city. A siren wails. He shakes his head and tells Goliath to be careful. He's in no hurry to take his place. They turn to stone.

16. Dawn. Fox says checkmate, and we reveal the board with its pieces based on our characters. She knows her husband doesn't like to lose. Is he upset? Of course not, he's happy to have an opponent to match his skill. Made the game more fun. "Care to play again?" FADE OUT.

Double Jeopardy Outline Notes

[With the DCV moving into episodes that my rambles haven't yet covered, I'm again going to try to reprint old memos from the series. What follows are my notes on writer/story editor Cary Bates' outline for what eventually became "Double Jeopardy". By the time we wrote this memo, we'd clearly gone through three iterations of the story (which I no longer possess). This version related below, is darn close to what we finally wound up with, and should give you an idea of how closely I worked with the story editors, though it reveals little about who came up with what, since even I don't remember how much of what follows was new to this document and how much was part of what came before. Enjoy.]

WEISMAN 12-24-94

Notes on "Thailog Rules" Outline...

GENERAL
O.K. You're last beat sheet was a big improvement. Particularly the Sevarius stuff. But something still seemed missing. So I reviewed all three versions of this thing and after dancing them around in my head a bit, came up with the following. It preserves the mystery of Goliath's strange behavior a little longer, but keeps the plotline moving along fast.

TITLE
I'm afraid "Thailog Rules" tips our hand too much. What do you think of the title "Reversals"? Or something similar with the word "negative" in it? Or something like "Sins of the Fathers"?

FIRST ENCOUNTER
I traded Brooklyn for Elisa. That way, we could get rid of the awkward phony weapons bit. Thailog (or Sevarius) could have left an anonymous tip for Elisa that brought her (and Lex and Broadway) past the right place at about the right time.

THAILOG'S DICTION
Can be very colloquial. Direct. Like his menacing laugh, it'll be weird for our audience to hear Keith's deep voice comfortably use edgy modern parlance.

BEAT SHEET
ACT ONE
1. Prologue. One year ago at Eyrie Building. Night. Keep very brief and simple. ELISA is trying to convince GOLIATH that he must find a new home, before Xanatos is released from prison. Suddenly, a STEEL CLAN ROBOT goes berserk, making a bee-line for Elisa. Goliath puts it down hard. OWEN apologizes and "treats" Goliath's small cut.

2. One year later. On a stormy night, Elisa is driving along Riverside Drive in upper Manhattan, where there's a bit of a cliff down to the water. LEXINGTON and BROADWAY are gliding through the storm above her. Lex wears a radio headset like the one he wore in "Legion". He uses it to communicate with Elisa, letting us in on the anonymous tip that brought them up here, and how it must have been a crank call, since it turned up nothing. (We need to believe that whatever this call claimed to reveal was something that would have led her to bring Lex and Broadway instead of Matt.) Just off shore, we should see an old oil rig platform. Suddenly, Lex and Broadway are attacked, and Elisa is "strafed" and nearly forced off the road and over the cliff. (Keep her point of view very tight and claustrophobic inside her car. Between the poor visibility and multiple "blind spots", she won't know where the next attack will come from.) As dangerous as the whole thing is, there's something almost childish about the attacks. Ultimately, Elisa gets control of her car, pulls over and gets out. Lex and Broadway land next to her, and they see their attacker. It's clearly "Goliath", though we only see him in silhouette, laughing. Then he is gone.

3. At Gen-U-Tech, DOCTOR SEVARIUS is making a down payment to LEAD MERCENARY. The Doctor's having a damn good time.

4. At the Clock Tower, just before Dawn, Elisa, Broadway and Lex have just finished describing Goliath's strange behavior to HUDSON. No one has a clue as to why Goliath would act that way, and they'll have to wait until sunset to find out. He and BROOKLYN were supposed to be out patrolling, and with Dawn fast approaching, they probably found a ledge to spend the day on: somewhere Goliath would feel safe.

5. Daytime at Eyrie Building. "Goliath" is frozen in stone on the highest tower of the Eyrie Castle. (Note: when "stoned" there's no way to tell the difference between Goliath and his counterpart.) XANATOS chats with Owen about how nice it is to have "him" here, guarding the castle. (Since they both know who they are talking about, they don't have to mention him by name.) Suddenly, MERCENARIES led by Sevarius' Lead Mercenary, land. Xanatos and Owen are caught off guard. Mercenaries leave with stone "Goliath" and Xanatos can't shoot them down without risking the gargoyle's life.

6. From his helicopter, the Lead Mercenary calls Sevarius by Video Phone, telling him that the mission is accomplished. They have the statue in the cargo hold in back. Sevarius is pleased and tells them to bring it to the rendezvous point, but not until after dark.

7. Night at the clock tower: Elisa, Hudson, Broadway, Lex and BRONX watch Goliath and Brooklyn come in for a landing. Goliath is bombarded with questions, but he doesn't know what they're talking about. Brooklyn confirms that Goliath has been with him the whole time. Well, if that wasn't Goliath they saw, then who was it?

8. In their helicopter, the mercenaries rendezvous with Sevarius at the abandoned oil rig platform. Sevarius is carrying a tranquilizer gun, which mystifies the lead mercenary. What's he gonna do, tranq the statue? The mercenaries open their hold, only to be confronted by THAILOG -- shock white hair, photo-negative colors, bad attitude, but otherwise a dead ringer for Goliath. (Incidentally, this is the last we'll ever see of these particular mercenaries.)

ACT TWO
9. Lex and Broadway have brought Goliath to the riverside location of the previous' night's "attack". They find a Gen-U-Tech tracking bracelet (like the one in "Metamorphosis"), right where "Goliath" had been standing. Lex wants to check out Gen-U-Tech. Goliath sends him and Broadway to do it, while he and Elisa look around for whoever or whatever that phony Goliath was.

10. Back at the Eyrie Building, Owen hands Xanatos the phone. The voice on the other end has been electronically altered beyond recognition, which doesn't prevent it from demanding a ransom for Thailog: $20 million in cash to be delivered to Oil Rig Platform #18 (or whatever). Owen tries to trace the call. No luck. But he can trace Platform #18. It doesn't belong to Demona, Macbeth or Renard. In fact, it belongs to Xanatos Enterprises. That's all Xanatos needs to hear. He can barely believe it, but Sevarius must have betrayed him. It all fits. Sevarius works for X.E. and he's the only other person who knew that Thailog existed. Xanatos hates to lose a talent like Sevarius, but he can't permit this kind of behavior from his employees. He's just going to have to make an example of Dr. Sevarius.

11. At Gen-U-Tech, Lex and Broadway break in. Lex has an idea. He types "C-L-O-N-E" into the computer and gets the scoop on Project Thailog.

12. Goliath and Elisa have been searching the area. They've looked everywhere and found nothing. Almost everywhere. Goliath points to the oil rig.

13. Xanatos, wearing a trench coat and carrying a suitcase, has taken a launch out to the oil rig. He is greeted warmly enough by Sevarius. He shows Sevarius the money. Sevarius: "What? Oh, the money. You know in all the excitement, I almost forgot about it. Actually, I've never seen that much money in one place. Mind if I take a peek?" And while he does, Xanatos removes his coat, to reveal that he is wearing armor. Thinner, lighter than his Gargoyle armor. Not as effective in a huge battle, but still formidable and obviously, easier to conceal. He grabs hold of Sevarius and explains, that although he's not by nature a vengeful man, Sevarius has forced him to make an exception.

14. Pull back to reveal, Goliath and Elisa watching all this from above. She wonders what could set Xanatos and Sevarius against each other? "Some new abomination they created together." They decide to take a look around.

15. Meanwhile, Sevarius is stunned at Xanatos' attack. What did he do wrong? Xanatos can't believe he's asking. Kidnapping, extortion, betrayal -- how's that for a start? Sevarius suddenly gets conspiratorial and whispers, "Oh, I get it. Somebody's watching us. Don't worry. I'll make it look good." Then he hams it up big time: "YES, I BETRAYED YOU!! YOU TOOK MY CREATION AWAY FROM ME!! IT WAS ONLY AN ACT OF JUSTICE TO STEAL IT BACK!!" And then he whispers to Xanatos, "How was that?"

16. Goliath and Elisa find Thailog chained up in an oil storage tank. Goliath is horrified. How can this be? Thailog explains very briefly that he is a clone of Goliath, created from his blood. Goliath feels violated and speaks rashly about the horrors of modern science and the evil of Xanatos and Sevarius. Thailog seems hurt and glowers angrily at Goliath. Elisa yanks Goliath aside. "Listen, you have a right to be angry, but you shouldn't take it out on Thailog. It's not his fault he was created. And however it happened, he's still a gargoyle. In a way, he's kind of your son. And you're rejecting him."

17. A very perplexed Xanatos is finally putting it together. Sevarius thinks this is all an act. Now Sevarius is confused. Isn't it an act? I only followed your instructions. What instructions? Sevarius had gotten instructions from Xanatos' office over electronic mail to do everything he had done. Far from betraying Xanatos, he had thought he was helping Xanatos in his latest Machiavellian scheme. Except Xanatos doesn't know anything about this. Who else has access to his personal computer? Sevarius: "Owen? Fox?" Xanatos: "Don't be ridiculous." "Well, has anyone else had access to the castle?" Xanatos thinks about it, and then... laughs.

18. Back in the oil tank, Goliath knows that Elisa is right. He goes to free Thailog. But Thailog says it won't be necessary. The shackles weren't locked. He grabs Goliath, puts him in a wrestling hold and slams a gas mask over Goliath's mouth and nose. Before Elisa can do anything but gasp, Goliath slumps unconscious in Thailog's arms. And Thailog laughs.

ACT THREE
19. Xanatos is still laughing. He's figured out that it was all Thailog's plan, and he's proud of his boy. Thailog comes out, smiling. And he's carrying a little bonus -- an unconscious Goliath and Elisa. (He took her out during the commercial.) Better and better. The kid is a real chip off the old block. "Yes, I am... All the old blocks." And he slaps an electro-disk onto Xanatos, shorting out his armor and knocking him unconscious. Screen goes black.

20. When Xanatos regains consciousness, he is chained next to Goliath, Sevarius and Elisa (in the oil tank maybe). Thailog enters with murder in mind. He's learned from all of his "proud fathers". But he has no intention of going through life as Sevarius' guinea pig or Xanatos' stooge. It's time to leave the nest. And twenty million should help him make his mark. Sevarius protests: How are you going to spend it? You can't exactly open a checking account. But Thailog has learned enough from Xanatos to know that with that much money, he can find a way to make it work for him. After all, he set all of them up without any cash incentives. Imagine what he could do with 20 mil? Goliath tells Thailog that he doesn't need the money. He can join the gargoyle clan. Thailog: "Do I look like a sap to you?" He has no desire to waste his time acting as guardian angel to a city full of ignorant humans. He had toyed with the idea of sharing the money with Goliath. That's why he had arranged for Goliath to join the party. But their little family reunion pissed Thailog off. "So I've decided to hate you too." He approaches Elisa, caresses her face. It seems like a waste, but she's going to have to die too. Nothing personal. He leaves, activating a death trap. (Maybe the oil tank starts filling with oil or something.) At any rate, the four work together to escape the trap. Though they set the rig on fire in the process.

21. Topside, they arrive just in time to stop Thailog from escaping with the cash. Thailog is furious that they've escaped. Big battle mostly between Thailog and Goliath. Broadway and Lex finally arrive but by this time the rig is about to collapse. Goliath tries one last attempt to reason with Thailog. They must escape. Thailog won't leave without the money. He goes after it, is caught in an explosion and apparently dies. Xanatos and Sevarius escape in Xanatos' launch. Broadway, Lex and Goliath leave with Elisa. They've survived. But at such a great cost. Goliath would like to blame Xanatos and Sevarius for corrupting Thailog. But all of Thailog's fathers hurt him. Goliath cannot exonerate himself.

22. Epilogue: One week later. Xanatos, Sevarius and Owen are talking about a brand new, more secure computer system. Price tag: just under $20 million. Xanatos chuckles at the irony, and then almost chokes on the chuckle. He suddenly realizes that if he had been in Thailog's shoes, he would have planned a contingency for their escape from his death trap. He would have faked his own death so that he could get away with the money. Sevarius: "You mean that monster's still out there. It has the money... and it's smarter than you?" Xanatos, dead serious: "Owen... I think I've created a monster."

Back to the pilot...

On July 6th, 1993, Writer Eric Luke turned in an outline for the pilot. It still had the Pack, and introduced the concept of the Gargoyle Eggs. Here were our notes on that outline, as we sent him to script.

To: Eric Luke Date: 7-15-93

From: Greg Weisman Ext.: (818)-754-7436

Subject: Notes on 7/6 Gargoyle Outline

Ta Da!! Let's go to script....with notes...sorry. Actually, we're real happy with the outline, we just want to send you forward with a few things in mind.

One general note comes from Gary, who's pretty much decided that the Gargoyles cannot fly like birds, but rather can glide like flying squirrels. We're going to take a lot of liberties with this. Play a lot with updrafts and downdrafts, i.e. cheat a lot, but the big basic no-no is the idea that they can start at ground level and just muscle themselves into the air with their wings. Gary doesn't want to just make this a rule, he wants to make use of it in the script as a vulnerability for the gargoyles. For example, if Goliath and Elisa are surrounded by the Pack, he can't just pick her up and fly away. He's trapped, unless he can get some height to get some air. Another thought comes earlier when Goliath saves Elisa's life at their first meeting. Maybe he grabs her in mid-air and then arcs up to re-land on the castle ramparts. And maybe he can't quite make it to the top and has to grab hold of the building and use his talons to claw his way back up to the landing, with her holding on to him for dear life. (These are just examples that occur to me...use, embellish, come up with your own as it fits the script.) Anyway, you get the idea.

PAGE 1
I think we can heighten the drama of the opening by referring to the original beat outline depicting Robby and his Mom desperately running up the hill to the castle w/the Marauders close behind. It's sunset. Cole and crew don't have long to wait for it to get too dark for the archers to target them.

PAGE 2
Re: the Wizard. The scariest thing about Goliath's looks is his tremendous threatening bulk, claws and teeth. His non-human appearance, wings and skin color play into the wizard's fears as well. But it's the potential physical threat that's the most frightening. I'm not sure that this will specifically come out in dialogue, but...

Teen 'goyles should probably be doing minor mischief until Robby's mother refers to them as monsters. This pisses them off (particularly Brooklyn) and they decide that if they're gonna be treated like Monsters they might as well act like monsters, and perhaps they do something that is flat-out malicious. Goliath comes in while they're "acting like monsters", doesn't know why and banishes them from the courtyard. They feel bigtime jipped.

Eggs in the rookery really intrigues us. It raises HUGE questions. Do Gargoyles lay eggs? What do they look like? Gary pictures rough spheres like cannonballs made of stone. Do the eggs survive Cole? I guess they must since Bronx and the trio do. Do they survive the centuries? What's the gestation period of a gargoyle egg? Did Demona gather up the eggs? Were they effected by the wizard's spell? When Xavier moves the castle to Manhattan, is the Rookery, eggs and all, left in tact in Scotland? None of these questions need to be answered in the pilot. It's just a great seed to plant for future episodes, so don't make too big a deal of it here; we want careful viewers to be curious, but most to be unconcerned, since they won't get the answers to these questions in this movie.

Was Broadway raised in the Rookery? Or has it been out of use for decades? If he was, we need to be careful that our trio aren't telling each other things that they all already know.

PAGE 3
Again, in the final battle against the Captain, Cole and his marauders, refer to the original beat outline for choreography. We need Cole and the Captain to drag the queen away from the battlefield, luring Goliath away too, alone. We need the Wizard left alone, believing the Queen is dead, w/only one remaining spellbook to confront the rest of the 'goyles and turn them to stone, etc.

PAGE 5
Perhaps when the Pack first attacks, Goliath and company jump to defend the castle without any request from Xavier. It's that instinctive. Afterwards, (p.6), Xavier asks for their continued protection, and Goliath agrees, largely because at this point, he's already got one foot in the water, so-to-speak.

PAGE 8
We still have the three night structure, but we've lost Elisa asking Goliath to give her three nights to show him all that her world has to offer. That always struck me as a nice moment. Was there a reason we took it out? I'm not saying we need it back in, I'm just curious.

PAGE 9
Adrienne Bello is our executive here in charge of Standards and Practices. We showed the final version of the outline to her, and she had a concern here regarding our depiction of latchkey kids. Basically, it's a weighty issue, and we really don't have the space to do it justice here. That gave me a thought. Another (easily-solved) problem in the scene is that Goliath doesn't seem to be a participant. No one reacts to him. If we change that, we can see a number of kids (maybe out on the stoop, early evening) reacting differently to him. All should be scared at first, but some are quickly reassured and think Goliath (and Bronx) are way cool. Littler kids might still be frightened, and Goliath sees Elisa comfort and reassure them. Teaching them not to be prejudiced, in essence. Or something. We don't have to make them latchkey kids. Taggers? Just neighborhood kids w/no crime involved? Maybe we create a 20th century counterpart to Robby? Anyway, give it some thought.

PAGE 10
This could play into the attack by the Pack. Perhaps our Robby-counterpart witnesses it. And the noise brings more people. They root for the Pack to win out over the "Monster" Goliath. They think the Pack is saving them. Our "Robby-counterpart" could really be confused as to who's good and who's bad. Maybe the crowd helps the Pack? (The right thing to do, as they perceive it, but unfortunately, they've picked the wrong side to help.) Elisa may try to flash her badge, and is knocked aside/out before she can identify herself as a cop. What Fox says to Goliath in the clinches, doesn't have to be heard by the crowd. Maybe the Pack even pretends to try to rescue Elisa from Goliath, making it clear to Goliath and our audience, though not the crowd, that if they get her away from him (and Bronx) she's doomed. [Again, though Bronx is largely a comic relief character, he can be helpful in a fight. Just as Goliath--though basically a dramatic character--has a sense of humor, and can be used in lighter, comic situations.] Goliath has little choice but to retreat with Elisa, with the crowd thinking he's the villain getting away w/a victim (or perhaps accomplice). Then he expresses his frustration that humans could so confuse the heroes and villains, based solely on appearances. If Elisa's conscious at this point, she might try to argue with him.

It's unclear why Goliath thinks the Pack is bent on revenge. What does he think they have to revenge? So far, they've been basically successful in both encounters. At worst, you could say they've fought to a draw.

PAGE 11
If Xavier spotted Demona in a book, it was probably an art book, not a history book. Gargoyles didn't make the history books. I know this is just a story Xavier tells Goliath, but we might as well make it as realistic as possible.

Also Demona does not "seem" to be "genuinely pleased" to see the gargoyles; she IS genuinely pleased to see them.

PAGE 12
Xavier should claim that the disks will benefit all mankind AND ALL GARGOYLES as well.

Xavier should make his contingency plans w/Owen. That way, we don't have to have him talking to himself, or reveal that he and Demona are in cahoots.

Goliath should probably find Elisa at her place, (maybe he followed her from the police station). As opposed to just happening to spot her on the streets.

Also want to make sure I have all the corporate names straight. XAVIER ENTERPRISES (XE) is Xavier's big conglomerate. SCARAB CORP. is the robotic and cybernetic arm of XE. PACK INC. is the "marketing firm" that handles the Pack, which is owned by a company, which up the ladder is eventually owned by XE. CYBERCORP is Xavier's basically honest competitor and the creators of the anti-grav technology that's on the disks.

PAGE 13
The idea of Goliath just sitting on the disks for a night in a warehouse still strikes us as artificial. Maybe Xavier asks Goliath to deliver the disks to someone, at the warehouse or wherever, and then arranges for Elisa to be there.

Angelica/Demona's statement about "If you'd only taken the others away..." isn't enough of a tip-off to make Goliath suspicious. It doesn't sound like she knows something, it sounds like she's using 20-20 hindsight to make him feel bad. At any rate, that would be the natural thing for him to think. Maybe it begins with this, but she takes it a step farther, and that tips Goliath off.

In her explanation of what went wrong, we need to include the notion that the Captain promised her he'd protect the gargoyles, but at the last minute she panicked and left.

We're also unclear how all this has led her to join up with Xavier. Maybe she sees the destruction of humanity in his evil, and she's anxious to help. Or maybe he plans on conquering humanity, and then she plans to take the reins of power from him. Lots of possibilities; we just need to clarify.

PAGE 14
Did Xavier send anyone besides Demona (and Elisa) to the "loyalty test". Maybe Owen has been watching from the shadows.

The reason Xavier didn't take Goliath out immediately after the loyalty test can probably be tied to Xavier's intelligence. He knows that the best time to attack the Gargoyle's is during the day, when they're frozen. I think we should make use of this. Have a scene where the Pack (carrying sledgehammers) searches for the Gargoyles in daylight. Elisa hides the gargoyles and/or protects them, and/or lures the Pack away from their location at great personal risk. Now she and Goliath have saved each other. A human he can count on. Etc. At this point, Xavier doesn't want to leave the loose ends untied for too long. He's confident in his new robot creations. (Perhaps there's one that's specifically been modeled after Goliath.) He decides to just get the battle over with. Or maybe it's Goliath and the gargoyles who decides to take the castle back, (with Elisa's help). They attack Xavier. Demona, the steel gargoyles AND the Pack (and Xavier, for that matter) are there to defend the castle. That's kinda ironic and cool.

And that's it. Give me a call if you have any questions. I'd also like to get an approximate target date when you think we'd have the first draft screenplay. Despite all the notes, we're getting really psyched. Good luck.

cc: Gary Krisel, Bruce Cranston, Paul Lacy

Ducks in a row...

Disney's Japanese Studio was collectively the true unsung heroes of the first season of Gargoyles. This is a memo from Mr. Tokunaga, who was the head of that studio. It mentions the Little Mermaid episode that they were currently animating, but is mostly about recommending certain individuals on their staff to be creative forces for the Gargoyles series.

CC: B. FERRO
L. HUME

FAX CONTROL
#ODU-2688

FACSIMILE(0422-51-8229)

DATE: July 10,1993
TO: Ms. Lenora Hume
FROM: Motoyoshi Tokunaga cc. Shin Matsumoto/Sheri Shimada
RE: Gargoyles

Dear Lenora,

Yesterday, I have asked several animators to try on rough designs for this projects characters. We will need one week to finish this work. Therefore. we will be able to tax you these drawings on 7/17. Also, we have sent you the followings together with Take-l's workprint for the Mermaid show #015.

1) Storyboards
*Gadget - storyboarded by Saburo Hashimoto.
*Reporter Blues - storyboarded by Kazuo Terada.
*Soccer Boy - storyboarded by Kazuo Terada.
As a reminder, in Japan we set the maximum number of cels that the show can spend before we start the production. And directors should draw storyboards within this limitation. Since these storyboards were drawn under these circumstances, I fear they might not give you the insight into the artists' creative aspects.

2) Videos
*Ulysis 31: This was produced 12 years ago and directed by Terada.
I hope you could use this as a reference of how he divided the scenes and
the camera angles. But, please do not refer to the animation.

*Batman; which was animation directed by Kazuyoshi Takeuohi.
We have sent this to you because we would like to know if you are thinking of any certain level of animation quality and timing. Please let us know if this is the kind of animation you expect from us for Gargoyles series.

Beat regards,

Motoyoshi Tokunaga
MT/my

Being SANTA CLAUS is stressful.

I think these two memos are fairly self-explanatory. So the only comment I'll make is that although few of these people still work for Disney, none of them had to give back their toys. (And I still have the Nerf stuff.)

MEMO #1:

[1] From: Greg Weisman 7/8/93 4:10PM (751 bytes: 10 ln)
To: Bruce Cranston
cc: Greg Weisman
Subject: TOYS FROM KENNAR
------------------------------- Message Contents -------------------------------
Bruce,
As you know, I received a large box of toys from Kennar, which I am officially giving to the Development department. Some of these will be on display in their original packaging in my office, per Gary Krisel's suggestion. Some will be used in creative meetings to help generate ideas and reduce tension. The rest will be distributed among the development staff for research and display, on the understanding that they belong to the company and not to the individuals involved.

MEMO #2:

[1] From: Greg Weisman 7/9/93 2:25PM (2200 bytes: 47 ln)
To: Mary Nguyen, Bonnie Buckner, Hali Helfgott, Lisa Melbye, Adrienne Bello, Paul Lacy, Fred Schaefer, Kathy Fair, BAMBI MOE, Ellen Gurney, Ann Catrina, Brad Vielock
cc: Bruce Cranston, Melinda Farrell, Jay Fukuto, Greg Weisman
Subject: TOYS
------------------------------- Message Contents ------------------------------
cc: Dave Schwartz, Sharon Morrill

As many of you know, Kennar sent me a large box of toys. Too large for me to keep them as a gift w/out a conflict of interest arising. So I am officially giving these toys to the company. Gary instructed me to keep some of them unopened on display in my office, (he's sent some to Lucasfilms already, and we may need them for similar purposes at some point), and to break open the Nerf stuff for creative meetings (you know, to relieve tension, etc.). But there are still a number of toys left, more than I have room for, so I'm going to pass them out to all of you for research and display in your offices, on the official understanding that they belong to Disney and should stay with the company.

I put everyone's name in a hat and Hali pulled the names, and this's the order of toy picking:

Bambi
Brad
Ellen
Dave
Lisa
Fred
Paul
Kat
Ann
Adrienne
Hali
Bonnie
Mary

I think you can see by Hali's placement on the list that her picks were not biased. It was totally random. Don't blame her.

And if you're low on the list, you can at least take consolation in knowing that the bigshots (Bruce, Mindy, Jay and Sharon) don't get any toys at all. Sorry. There weren't enough to go around.

Bambi's first on the list, and she'll be back Monday, so that's when distribution will begin.

Remember, no friction. This is a small good thing. That's all.

Prepping Production

The first season of Gargoyles was largely pre-produced in Japan. And our Japanese Studio was very involved in getting the show up on its feet. This is a memo from Lenora Hume, who was at the time the head of International Production for our division. The memo is addressed to Mr. Tokunaga who was the head of Walt Disney Television Animation Japan.

WALT DISNEY Television Memorandum
To: Motoyoshi Tokunaga Date: July 2,1993
From: Lenora Hume Extension: (818) 754-7150
Subject: FAX: 011-8142-251-8229
PAGE: -1- of -1-

As a follow up to our conversation, we would like to proceed to do some preliminary development work on Gargoyles as outlined below.

1) We would like you to send us some design and storyboards samples of the artists you intend to use on this project. If you have any tapes of shows that these individuals have been involved in that would be very helpful as well.

2) On Tuesday, we will fax your descriptions of the characters we would like you to work on.

3) Based on the information we send you on Tuesday, we would like budget on a schedule prepared for this preliminary design work.
At this stage we would like to see rough drawings of a variety of styles and ideas based on the information we have supplied. There is no need to edit your preliminary work. We would like to see a number if different approaches. If you have a preference as to which approach you prefer please by all means let us know your choices.

4) Once this preliminary design work has been submitted we will review the materials in Los Angeles and give you our comments, along with instructions as to what the next phase will be.

If you have any questions or comments about this first phase of development, please feel free to contact us.

Best regards,

Lenora Hume

cc: B. Cranston
G. Weisman
P. Lacey

RECEIVED BY
JUL 06 1993
GREG WEISMAN'S OFFICE

Evidentally, I went out of town in late June / early July of 1993. My very capable and talented Development Associate Paul Lacy was holding down the fort.

Walt Disney TV Animation Japan had been asking for a more creative role in the division. Gargoyles would represent a new opportunity for them. (Something that I believe Roy Sato could comment on more directly.) Paul wrote up some character descriptions for Goliath and the Trio to get them started. This document, as far as I can tell, is the first one in which Brooklyn and Lex were assigned the basic personalities that they'd wind up with. Previous to this, the two characters had always been assigned each others traits. So I think we can credit Paul (or his confusion, at least) with giving us the Brooklyn and Lex we now know and love.

Also by this time, we had moved away from a female Broadway. One of my bosses, Bruce Cranston, still raised the suggestion that we go back. But I believe my other boss, Gary Krisel (and Kenner) wanted as many males in the group as possible.

July 2, 1993

Greg,

Gary wants to give Tokunaga, the head of the Disney Studio in Japan, a shot at showing us what they can do design-wise with the GARGOYLES, so he wants us to send them descriptions of GOLIATH, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. The descriptions need to be brief and put in general terms to allow them room to be creative.

I've enclosed my pass at these descriptions for your changes. Although I remember the "types" we were thinking of for Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway, I don't remember who was assigned which attribute. Bruce asked about making one of the kids a female, should we open that up to the Japanese as an option?

Gary and Bruce looked at these today and I incorporated their changes. We need to get these to Lenora Hume early Tuesday so she can fax them to Japan.

Hope you had a great trip. See you on Tuesday.

Paul

And here's Paul's memo to the Japanese Studio.

GARGOYLE DESCRIPTIONS (Lacy 7/2/93)

Below are general descriptions of the look and feel of GOLIATH and the three teen-aged Gargoyles, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY.

GOLIATH
The Gargoyle-master. Physically imposing, muscular. At least a head taller than an average human. Weighing approximately 500 pounds, Goliath is solidly built. Although he possesses many human-like features, Goliath's gargoyle features set him apart from man. When angered he resembles a raging beast. When relaxed there is a gentle nobility to his appearance ... in a strange, rugged way, he's handsome. Goliath's wings enable him to glide and, as such, must be big enough to support his weight. They are not simply attached to his back. Rather, they are an integral part of his skeletal and muscular structure, as organic to him as arms and legs are to humans. When sitting, Goliath's wings drape around him like a cape. When spread wide, they act as a backdrop that frames his body.

BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON AND BROADWAY
As adolescent gargoyles, they're awkward and not as physically developed as Goliath. To a human, however, they're still imposing and beastly. Although the three are part of the same species, each one is physically different enough to establish their individuality.

BROOKLYN: If there's a leader of the group, it's Brooklyn. He's the most physically fit of the group and is the one who most aspires to be a gargoyle warrior like Goliath. In the modern world Brooklyn wants to be "cool" and stylish, following all the current trends.

LEXINGTON: The smallest of the group. He's not as muscular as his pals, though he still is powerful. Lexington natural resting position is more a squat than the other two. Lexington is fascinated by gadgets: in medieval times it's catapults and siege engines. In modern times it's airplanes, traffic lights, video games, etc.

BROADWAY: The chubby one, Broadway's also bigger than the other two. Despite his fat, he has well defined muscles like the other gargoyles. Broadway is happy go-lucky, always looking for a good time.

Some of different wing types for these three characters include sprung from the back (like Goliath) for gliding, attached to the back but too small to be of any use, draped from the arm (like a bat), or non-existent.

The word from Kenner Toys...

So the meeting between us and Kenner happened, most likely on June 30th, 1993. They brought this document to the table. It's very enlightening, I think, as to how a major toy company thinks. You'll notice that their "main concerns" didn't cause us to alter the show at all. Save for adding in a motorcycle and helicopter here and there. There were some things that they were concerned about that we were just able to reassure them about. That the Trio would not just be silly. That Xanatos would eventually get down and dirty with his own armor, etc.

My handwritten notes at the bottom were things we discussed at the meeting, also to help aleviate their concerns. "Franken-goyle" eventually became Coldstone. "X's Metal/Steel/Titanium Gargoyles" became the Steel Clan Robots. We were trying to show Kenner that we'd have some "male villain gargoyles" in addition to Demona.

GARGOYLES

MAIN STORY ELEMENTS

Conflicts
* Ageless goodness and loyalty vs. modern opportunism.

* Powerful myths.vs. powerful high tech "realities".

* Goliath vs. Demona.

* Goliath vs. Xavier.

Partnerships
* Goliath and his five ancient gargoyles.

* Elisa and her gargoyle team; especially Goliath.

* Xavier and Demona.

* Xavier and his subordinates.

Goliath Characteristics
* Huge, powerful, and ugly.
* Immortal by night; inert and powerless by day.
* Ancient, decent, loyal, and wise.
* Possesses leadership qualities.

ISSUES

Main Likes
* Visual power, strength of living gargoyles.

* Day vs. night power phases of protagonists.

* Humorous possibilities of gargoyle assimilation into contemporary New York.

* Traditional good vs. evil conflict.

Main Concerns

* Severe visual contradiction of scary/ugliness as good (Goliath); deceptively normal is bad (Xavier, his gladiators, etc.)

* Limited number of heroic characters.

* Key human ally is female (Elisa).

* Key/only evil gargoyle is female (Demona).

* Industrialist as the evil adversary is very familiar and very difficult to translate into an exciting toy. A visually more powerful and more unique enemy would be preferable or increase his powers through armorment [sic].

* Lack of significant special hardware and vehicles for both good and evil.

* Described back story (especially enduring- love/hate relationship between Goliath and Demona) may be too complex for 5-year old boys.

* Four of the six gargoyles (Trio and Dog) appear less aggressive and silly than heroic.

* Breaking the Gargoyles kills them.

[My handwritten notes on the document follow:]
* Franken-goyle & Demona

* Pack / Xavier / Scarab Corp / Vehicles etc.

* X's Metal / Steel / Titanium Gargoyles

Kenner weighs in...

Kenner had competed for the Gargoyles toy license and won. They were enthusiastic partners. This was pretty early on in the process, but their initial main objection was that we still had the gargoyles able to fly under their own power at this stage. They didn't like that, because it removed the need for kids and parents to buy flying vehicle accessories. We eventually acquiesced (over my initial objections) because my boss Gary Krisel felt that it could be to our advantage to only allow the gargs to glide on "currents of wind" instead of fly. It hampered them some. I was dubious, but this turned out to be all for the best. So thank Kenner -- for that at least.

Me, I still have the Nerf guns.

RECEIVED By
JUN 25 1993
GREG WEISMAN'S OFFICE

KENNER PRODUCTS
A Tonka Division

June 23, 1993

Mr. Gregory David Weisman
Wait Disney Television
5200 Lankershim Boulevard
Suite 600
North Hollywood, CA 91601

Dear Greg:

We're looking forward to seeing you and Gary next week and getting further into the Gargoyles concept (are they still flying?).

I'm bringing Rm Hayes again (VP of Product Concepts) as well as Howard Bollinger, really, (Sr. VP of Product Concepts), Bruce Stein (Kenner's President), and possibly Ginger Kent (Sr. VP of Marketing). We've spent Kenner development time on the project and will have something to show you during our discussions on June 30.

I'm sending you some of our current action figures from Aliens, Batman and Jurassic Park to refresh everyone's awareness of how we market our action figure toys. The Nerf weapons in the package are for your internal entertainment and are not to be used on us if you don't like what we've done on Gargoyles. Enjoy!

See you next Wednesday at 5:00 p.m.

Best Regards,

James R . Black
Vice President, Licensing

JRB/jav

CC: R. Hayes

Still honing the pilot...

Eric Luke turned in an outline on our multi-part pilot on 6-3-93. I'm afraid I don't have that document anymore. But my response (from a week later) is still in my computer files. And it does give a sense of what he was up to. But more, it gives a sense of where I wanted to take the story.

One might argue that my greatest strength as a writer is in fact... that I'm a good editor. I do think I have a knack for taking solid work by other professionals, and finding the core story inside that work. Bringing that story out and helping it to shine. I think I have a good mind for both the big picture and the little details. (At any rate, that's largely been the basis of my career.)

So that's what I was attempting to do here. And I think you can begin to see the details of the story beginning to see the light in my notes here.

To: Eric Luke Date: 6-10-93

From: Greg Weisman Ext: 818)754-7436

Subject: Notes on 6/3 GARGOYLE Outline

Hi, Eric. Big improvement. I've collated a bunch of specific page notes, and I apologize in advance for their length. But we are getting so close, we wanted to make sure everything's nailed dead-to-rights. As before, we're largely concerned that everything tracks logically and that we've fully explored the relationships between our leads. So here goes.

Page 1
Don't overdue the notion that no one's ever seen a gargoyle (in the tenth century). They are rare. But not that rare. Basically, Cole, the lead Marauder assumes that like most castles, this one has "bluff" gargoyles made of actual stone. He's taking a calculated risk. A risk he may feel absolutely confident in taking, but a risk nonetheless.

Although you DON'T have to use them in the treatment, when we get to script, we'll probably want to bring back the boy, Robbie, and his mom, so that we can play the anti-gargoyle prejudice beats. These will parallel w/Goliath's anti-human prejudice in the modern day sequences, and help give an overall theme to the piece.

We might want to show the Captain helping out in this battle, in some (perhaps minor) way, so that we see that he and Goliath are comrades-in-arms. [We've abbreviated the events of the 10th century sequence by cutting a day from the original beat outline. That's o.k., but it makes it tougher to show Demona and the Captain's complex motivations and loyalties. We have to compensate in other ways.]

The "after you, alphonse" dialogue seems a little on the silly side. It might play in script.

Right now, Gary is leaning toward a male Broadway.

Page 2
At the bottom of page, it's unnecessary for Goliath to suspect treachery at this point. He's merely horrified at what he finds. The Captain's treason comes as a greater surprise when Goliath confronts him a bit later.

Page 3
Remember, Captain (and Demona) had hoped to remove the gargoyles to safety. Goliath (unwittingly) had not cooperated. That's what left the gargoyles vulnerable to Cole. (From Demona's point of view, the plan backfired in a big way.)

Just a cautionary, but we don't want to flag early on that Xavier is a villain. At first we should consider him a rich eccentric. Cheerful, even.

Page 4
Remember, when the Gargoyles awaken, they burst free of their stone shells, shattering them.

Xavier should not be so matter-of-fact about the Gargoyle's appearance. Remember, he's pretending this is the first time he's ever seen this reawakening. He should be appropriately impressed.

One of the elements that we want to be able to play with the Pack is the notion that they are the heroes of their own American Gladiatoresque t.v. show. For example, that's how Elisa would know them, as pseudo-athletes, not villains. If we don't have room to play that here in the pilot, than perhaps the Pack isn't the best villain team to use. Another notion we had was a group of armored villains w/names revolving around a demolition motif (the natural enemies of the sometimes-stone gargoyles): i.e. Piledriver, Bulldozer, etc.

Page 5
If you do use the Pack, the twins are Jackal (male, cunning and vicious) and Hyena (female and practically psychotic).
The robot is CY.O.T.I. (CYber-Operational Technical Intelligence), and his bodies are interchangeable, not his head.

Elisa is a plain clothes detective, and therefore doesn't drive a black and white. Though she could have one of those removable cherry-tops on her car.

Xavier could help the gargoyles fight, to show (a) how tough and formidable he is for a "normal" human and (b) how trustworthy he is...paralleling the Captain's actions from the 10th century.

Perhaps the Pack (or whoever) pretends to get away w/stealing something. (Xavier will later claim it was the 3 disks.) After all, this whole attack was staged.

The whole notion of the Gargoyles not appearing on videotape because they're magical creatures doesn't work for us and doesn't seem necessary. It adds a fairly sophisticated new rule (usually associated w/vampires) and confuses the issue as to whether the gargoyles are their own race of creatures, as opposed to magically animated stone. They exist. They're real. We think they show up on tape.

In this particular scene, we think we can leave out the camcorder and the scene at the police station. Elisa's fairly independent. Also, she doesn't necessarily need to see what's happening from the ground. Better if she doesn't know she's looking for "creatures" 'til she finds them. She could just be investigating the falling debris, though that sounds like something a building inspector would do. It would be nice if there was something that would attract a police detective's attention. (Laser-fire?) Some sign of a crime.

Does she initially question or try to question Xavier? Does she suspect him?

Page 6
The gargoyles should probably be the first bizarre entities that Elisa (and the city) encounters. If she's been dealing w/super-villains the last few weeks, than Goliath won't seem that strange. Also, her initial fear of him should not be based specifically on the notion that he is one of a group of villains, but on a visceral reaction to his appearance and threatening size. Prejudice. And the fact that there are a lot of Gargoyles doesn't hurt either.

The idea that "the whole city is her responsibility and she has a right to know what's going on" anywhere in it, sounds a bit egocentric or even vaguely fascist to me. This may not be the right moment for bravado. Again, she can be legitimately scared at this point. No shame in it. She doesn't have to ask about turf wars, or even be aware of what took place. In essence, we can reduce the talkiness of this scene by having her react the way any of us would.

Obviously, when Goliath saves her life, it'll have a profound effect, probably on both of them. It's a powerful event. It probably signals a truce, an end to hostility. And their mutual insight might hint at what's to come, but they're a long way from friends yet...or even trusted allies.

Here's where they can start to talk a bit. Get the basics on each other. Since we want the Gargoyles to lead weirdness into the modern world, she doesn't recruit him to fight super-villains, rather she offers to show him the best and worst of his new home. Maybe, she's hoping he'll see for himself it's worth fighting for, or maybe she hasn't thought it out that far. Maybe she plays on his need to get acclimated to his new surroundings. He needs a tour guide in this brave new world, she offers to be that guide. From his point of view, he's had bad luck leaving the castle, which would tend to make him reluctant to take her up on her offer. His agreeing is probably a sign of things to come coupled with the admission that he doesn't know what he's up against in the 20th century. He needs to learn, and learning does appeal to him.

Page 7
Goliath probably can't be goaded into joining her. He knows enough about "puny" humans and their betrayals to WISELY be afraid of what they are capable of. She needs to appeal to his better nature--as above, his curiosity and desire to learn, and perhaps a hidden desire to find (or be reminded of) the good in humans that he once recognized.

Again, we don't need to make the Gargoyles invisible to electronics for them to steal the disks. Make the three sites where the "stolen" disks are being held, three entirely separate locations, each uniquely inaccessible to a normal human. Also, Xavier can claim that these disks were stolen from him during the previous night's attack by the Pack (or whoever). He doesn't want to go to the police, because they'd investigate the site of the theft and the signs of battle that might lead to the Gargoyle's being revealed. Xavier's not making "a proposition", he's "asking" for Goliath's help. Coupled w/Elisa's request, Goliath may be on the verge of softening toward humans again. As you wrote, he'll think about it.

After Goliath leaves, perhaps Xavier talk to a shadowy figure (Demona) about how everything is going according to plan. He's confident that Goliath will come around.

Page 8
I apologize, but I think I led you astray when we discussed how "super-heroey" this universe is. Though we are eventually going to have multiple paranormal characters, we don't want to make their introduction casual, nor their existence commonplace. I like the idea that Xavier is stealing technology in order to power up his operatives or build Scarab Corp robots or both, but I don't think he'd be giving out this or any technology so that "the Crippler", et al, could wander the streets doing as they please. Too wasteful for Xavier.

Is Xavier aware of Goliath's deal w/Elisa? If so, would he want to use it to his advantage, perhaps staging another conflict with the same villain team that attacked the castle? Something to convince Goliath that he must help Xavier recover the disks? [The trick to these villains obviously, is to make them powerful enough to be threatening to Goliath and Company, but missing some necessary ability like flight or stealth, that would have enabled them to liberate the disks for Xavier (something other than the invisible-to-video rule). Their abilities can be enhanced for the climax when Xavier makes use of the stolen info on the three disks.]

Boots on Brooklyn are a bit awkward design-wise. Let's trade Doc Marten's for Ray-Bans or Aviator sunglasses.

It's an interesting question whether or not the teen gargoyles can read, but let's not address it here.

Let's have Bronx chewing up the car interior, instead of stinking it up. He's an omnivore.

Goliath's attitude on the first night that humanity is not worth saving doesn't seem to follow. He's always known, even before the Captain's betrayal, that there were bad humans. He used to think there were also good humans worth saving. Since the Captain, he's lost faith in that. Now that he's met Xavier and Elisa, he's probably regaining his faith, despite himself. The way to bring him back to his prejudices is with an ungrateful victim that he has saved. Some modern day equivalent to the queen or wizard. Humans will never stop fearing, blaming or hating the gargoyles. They don't deserve his assistance. Elisa, as a cop, can actually relate to this. But by example, she's trying to show him not to give up on humanity and it's potential.

Page 9
To cement Goliath's gratitude, it's probably better if Xavier claims to have sought Demona out. Found her for Goliath. This was always part of Xavier and Demona's plan. Although Goliath will be overwhelmed by her reappearance, all the Gargoyles should be very glad to see her. And she, sincerely glad to see them. (She still hopes to turn them to the dark side.)

Again, we don't need non-detectability. Let's put the three disks in three very separate locations in the city. Let's send Goliath and Demona after one. The trio after another, and stick Hudson (much to his annoyance) w/Bronx to go after the third.

The disks must be largely inaccessible. (One in a tower; one in an underground vault, etc.) And they should each be protected by security systems and well-armed human guards. But only a guy like Xavier would create Spiderbots and Wardroids, so let's keep things clean by leaving them out. However, a good complication would be for the disk's real owners to call the police. Elisa, who's been waiting for Goliath to show, takes the call. She confronts Goliath and Demona. It's a horrible moment for everyone. He flies away w/the disk. But after turning it over to Xavier, he insists on going back to talk to Elisa. Demona would be against it. She'd relate Elisa to the Captain. Xavier might start making contingency plans...if Goliath is so honorable that he has to clear his conscience with the authorities, then it may not be so easy to turn him and keep him turned.

The trick is probably not to let Goliath come off as a big dope. It's o.k. that he's been fooled, as long as it's been a convincing con. He's a smart guy.

Page 10
We need to contrast Elisa's responses w/Demona's knee-jerk ones. Elisa could be deeply disappointed. Goliath could try to explain why he did what he did. To Elisa it all sounds fishy, and at any rate, he shouldn't have taken the law into his own hands. That's where he might scoff at human law...and humans, in general. Don't let him get pouty. He's got legitimate gripes. But this disappoints Elisa further. She thought they had connected. Plus, she's been put in an awkward situation. He's a criminal now. Does she arrest him? He takes that decision out of her hands by leaving.

We're not clear on the meaning of Elisa's: "You're blaming humans because you can't face the blame yourself!" What blame?

If we use the Trio in the action-packed disk-raid, then we can cut the Artless Dodger. Again, we don't want to make "paranormals" too commonplace.

It's tough to believe that the Pack (or their replacements) would really think the gargoyles had stolen their money. And it's impossible to believe that Fox would betray her boss by giving away his well-mapped out plans. Xavier's control should be fairly complete. Basically, the multiple changes that these notes have suggested are going to require some major restructuring of the last few pages.

Xavier's "contingency plans" from above could help set the final act in motion. Maybe, he decides to test the gargoyles' loyalty to him once and for all. This is important, because Xavier would not just toss aside valuable "assets" like the Gargoyles, just because they had already accomplished the specific mission he acquired them for or because their talents were now largely redundant. If he thought there was a chance to keep them, he'd go for it. Maybe the loyalty test involves Elisa. That way, we can get that moment when Goliath refuses to betray Elisa. This cements Goliath and Elisa's relationship. Further enrages Demona, etc.

When Goliath fails the loyalty test, Xavier can then decide to destroy Goliath (and probably the other gargoyles as well). He can utilize the disk technology that the gargoyles stole which he has already used to enhance the Pack (or whoever) or build killer robots (or whatever). This personalizes the final battle. They're not saving the city. But themselves.

Page 11
It's unlikely that Xavier would give away his plans just to gloat. He's too smart for that.

We want to reveal Demona's true colors to Goliath and our audience at the same time. The last great shocking secret revealed. Perhaps Goliath discovers the truth after failing the loyalty test. She tries to convince him one last time to change sides. If in the course of the loyalty test, he was physically defeated, this'll be like kicking him when he's down. And then it's Elisa who saves him and helps rally his spirits for the coming final confrontation.

How did Demona stay young for a thousand years?

Given the above, it's hard to see how the trio could refuse to help Goliath.

Page 12
Obviously, we can now lose the army of paranormals. I'll miss Mister Billious the most.

We can probably reduce the talky-nature of the final battle scene by giving Elisa and Goliath a moment of calm before the battle begins. Remember, the key relationship is theirs. She may fear that the betrayals of Xavier and Demona will drive Goliath further into his shell. But she has unwittingly kept her promise. She has shown Goliath that humanity is worth saving, because she has shown Goliath herself. And it's enough, because she's a very special individual who considers herself fairly typical of humanity.

Demona can be armed with "modern" bazooka-laser Kirbyesque weapons to even out the odds in her and Goliath's one-on-one final battle.

Page 13
Xavier's "death" may need to be rethunk. Perhaps Demona, who's been our secret betrayer from the beginning, should "die". (Maybe her weapon explodes?) Xavier, the human villain can be arrested by Elisa. He's not worried though, he'll have the best trial money can buy...or as Elisa counters: "The best cell."

Whew. That's it. Let me know if you have any questions.

cc: Gary Krisel, Bruce Cranston, Paul Lacy

Back at work on the pilot...

Our second Garg writer, Eric Luke turned in his first draft on our pilot outline. This memo was my response.

What you may be able to see here is that the structure of the story was beginning to come together in my mind. (If not Eric's.) The brief prologue. Xavier's [Xantos'] motivations, etc.

To: Eric Luke Date: 5-17-93

From: Greg Weisman Ext: 818)754-7436

Subject: Notes on GARGOYLE Outline

Hi. A few major notes for the rewrite, before we get to the page-by-page stuff. First, we really believe we need to focus most of our attention on the Goliath-Elisa relationship. Really give it an arc and a progression. Elisa is intuitive, but she's only human, and when she first sees a monster, she has to be freaked out by it. Even after they stop perceiving each other as potential threats (and we don't think this can all happen in one scene), there needs to be an uneasiness at first. And then, a growing friendship that is the focus of our tele-film. They need obstacles to overcome, not all of which are plot-driven. Again, this is the most important relationship in our story. We must explore it, not just establish it.

The second major note is more plot-oriented. We believe that Xavier needs a more specific plan and motivation. The desire for human chaos and anarchy might sound good to Demona, but for Xavier it seems counterproductive. What good is all his current wealth if the world economic system crashes? What good his bribed officials if the government collapses? And anyway, how would the escalation of gang wars and crime really activate all this? Xavier is basically an acquisitive guy. He sees something. He wants it. If he can buy it or possess it legally, he probably will, because it's safer and easier. If he can't, he'll find a way to take it. This "it" could be an object of art or a huge cash reserve or power or some kind of weapon...the list is endless. If he can perceive it, he'll want it and go for it. A specific plan, visual and exciting, ala Goldfinger or something, would probably serve us well. Part and parcel of this should be a specific need for Goliath and the rest of the gargoyles. Having Goliath run an errand that any messenger could handle isn't effective enough. Xavier should have some larger purpose in mind for our heroes.

We don't think we can get too far into our story and still have our full flashback. Perhaps we could have just an extremely brief prologue in the present, where Elisa discovers the claw marks or somesuch, before segueing back to the tenth century. Our prologue is too short to reveal anything beyond the fact that something mysterious is going on in the present...something that we'll come back to. We don't even reveal the castle atop the skyscraper. We just spend enough time for Elisa to ask the question: "What could have caused this?" and then we fade back 1000 years. (Of course, this transition is tricky too, but we think it accomplishes our goals more smoothly.) We end our backstory and flash forward to the twentieth century with Xavier buying the castle and ordering it's transportation to Manhattan. Since we've in essence told the story chronologically, we can now have fun with the Gargoyles awakening in the modern world. Reveal the castle in the clouds. See their first reactions. They're first meeting w/Xavier, and how he comes across. From the audience's point of view, Elisa's search (activated in our prologue) is an open (i.e. Columbo-style) mystery. They know that she's gonna discover the gargoyles. The fun is how.

PAGE NOTES
Page 1 - Remember, Elisa is a plain clothes detective. She doesn't need a uniform.

Is the "promotional ladder" really an issue with her? It doesn't seem to pay off.

Do we want a crooked Captain McCoy? That didn't really pay off either. If he is crooked, how should he act on the surface? If we decide to make him honest, what should he be like?

Page 2 - Remember, Goliath is not stone at night. Though he's got tough hide-like skin, he's flesh and blood.

We need to avoid talky scenes, between Elisa and Felix, between Elisa and Goliath, etc.

Also, the mystery should last longer than it does. Perhaps we can build up Elisa's investigation. Perhaps she's been investigating Xavier for weeks. (Maybe she's undercover in his organization.) Or perhaps she's been investigating, Gargoyle related stuff for weeks...(really a clue that Demona's been around for longer than she claims.) There are a lot of options.

Is Goliath really afraid of the police? Does he even understand their significance?

Let's not make Elisa too perfect. Her initial reaction to Goliath should be one of real fear. And we need to discover what changes that for her. Does he save her life or do some other admirable thing?

Page 3 - Keep in mind that in the 10th century, Gargoyles are not considered a myth...just rare. With a lot of phony gargoyle statues placed on castle walls, to scare off attackers.

Remember that Brooklyn, Lex and Broadway are teens, not kids.

The flower picking bit didn't go over too well here.

Page 6 - Why have the trio been reluctant to explore the city up to this point?

The generic crimes that Goliath and Elisa fight on night one should probably wind up being clues, part of the puzzle toward Xavier and Demona's master plan.

Page 7 - Again, we have to track Elisa and Goliath's relationship clearly. Particularly Goliath's mindset. He thinks humanity's past saving? Does he include her at this point? Does he feel "some excitement" or is he "dejected"? He's basically territorial; how did Elisa convince him to help protect more than the castle in the first place? When he rediscovers Demona, is he fooling himself about how good the good old days were?

Is this all Xavier needed him for?

Page 8 - We're concerned that the rock band stuff might be a bit hokey, not visually fun enough. Particularly, without real rock music. Also, have the gargoyles found a use for money?

How does Elisa feel about Demona? What is the state of Elisa and Goliath's relationship at this point?

Is "electronic detective work" exciting visually? Would computer bank accounts literally list "The Raven" as depositor?

Why does Xavier send his Wardroids to attack Goliath at this point in the story?

Page 9 - How does Elisa find out about the weapons shipment? Does she suspect McCoy?

Do we want to reveal Demona's betrayal here, or do we want the audience to find out at the same time as Goliath? Our last surprise.

How did Demona survive into the present?

Page 10 - Where does this scene between Goliath and Elisa take place?

What changes Goliath's attitude?

Page 11 - A lot of talking is theoretically going on during an extended fight scene.

What does Goliath admire about humanity? How is he different from other Gargoyles, particularly Demona? Is there anything in humans that he aspires to? Does he shift from being instinctually territorial and protective of a specific location to being protective of humans (and gargoyles) in general?

cc: Gary Krisel, Bruce Cranston, Paul Lacy

Just to be complete...

I apologize for all the repetition of late, but I wanted this "Originial Development File" Archive to be as complete as possible.

Last pitch you saw was the tenth version, designed specifically for Tod McFarlane. Don't know what happened to version 11. But here's version twelve, marked FINAL. Not many changes that I notice. But worth a skim... (And this is the version I show on tape at the Gathering.)

GARGOYLES Pitch Twelfth & Final Pass (Weisman / 4-8-93)

1. Trio of typical stone GARGOYLES.

"These are GARGOYLES. Ugly, stone statues that squat on the roofs of old buildings. But there was a time, one thousand years ago, when gargoyles were real, living creatures. During the day, they slept...frozen in stone."

2. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER leading attack.

"But when the sun went down, GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER would lead his gargoyle-warriors in defense of the king's castle."

3. Goliath reading in library, sitting on small gargoyles.

"And if there was no battle to be fought, he'd retreat to the library to read and learn, all the while making sure that the other gargoyles stayed out of trouble."

4. HUMANS scorning Goliath.

"For all these efforts, Goliath received no reward, no thanks or even kindness. In fact, the people of the castle treated all gargoyles with nothing but contempt."

5. Goliath, alone in the throneroom.

"Still Goliath could no more stop guarding the castle than breathing the air. It's part of a gargoyle's nature to be territorial, protective. And so for years, he maintained his lonely vigil. Then one night, Goliath was betrayed and lured away from his post."

6. SORCERER curses Goliath and the other gargoyles.

"The castle was overrun and sacked. Goliath and the surviving gargoyles were unfairly blamed. The kingdom's SORCERER laid a curse upon them, and they fell into a stone sleep--that lasted a thousand years."

7. Castle on the skyscraper.

"New York City, 1994. A rich and powerful man has decided there's a better place for a medieval castle than a picturesque hill in Scotland. He's moved the whole deal--lock, stock and gargoyle--to the top of the tallest skyscraper in Manhattan."

8. Police Detective ELISA CHAVEZ.

"All of which means absolutely nothing to New York City Police Detective, ELISA CHAVEZ. She doesn't care about castles, and she doesn't believe in curses. She's hot on the trail of a major badguy."

9. Goliath observes her ambushed on rooftop by THUGS.

"A trail that leads her right into an ambush. Fortunately, a shadowy figure sees what's happening and decides to help."

10. Reveal THE GARGOYLE, as he dives into fray.

"That shadowy figure is THE GARGOYLE."

11. Goliath battles three thugs.

"Now when you're as strong as Goliath, benchpressing two badguys is easy. And that stone-like hide of his makes him practically invulnerable..."

12. Goliath & Elisa, in moonlight.

"...To everything but Elisa's kindness. She is the first human being who's ever offered him understanding and friendship, hope..."

13. From the skyscraper, Elisa shows Manhattan to Goliath.

"...And a sense of purpose. She introduces him to his new home, Manhattan, and asks for his help in protecting it against modern-day barbarians."

14. HUDSON.

"Fortunately, our hero doesn't have to face those barbarians alone. This is Goliath's old friend HUDSON, a veteran Gargoyle-Warrior. Hudson helps out by keeping an eye on the young Warriors-in-Training..."

15. BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY.

"...BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. (Uh, they picked their own names.)"

16. BRONX, the DOG. (Multiple poses.)

"And then there's BRONX, the angst-ridden Gargoyle-dog. He's not a big fan of adventure."

17. Bronx (two poses) chewing on a fire hydrant and flying.

"He just likes to eat a lot, sleep a lot and make a general mess."

18. Goliath and Elisa on the subway.

"Now, Goliath has wider interests...but it can be hard for a seven-foot medieval monster to squeeze into the modern world."

19. XAVIER.

"Especially with XAVIER around. Rich, powerful and arrogant, Xavier bought the gargoyles' castle. Now he thinks he owns the gargoyles as well."

20. Robot attacks Goliath.

"If something rotten is happening in New York...odds are Xavier's behind it."

21. Goliath battles DEMONA.

"But Goliath's greatest foe is the evil gargoyle DEMONA. Once she and Goliath were friends. But a thousand years ago, it was her betrayal that cost him the castle. Now she's his sworn enemy, and she won't rest until she owns the night..."

22. Stone version of Goliath in daylight.

"And the night is all that matters, because the gargoyles still sleep as stone statues during the day, finding an outdoor ledge just before sunrise and striking a pose that could give you nightmares."

23. Goliath with Elisa and the other Gargoyles.

"But when the sun goes down, they're our only protection against the city's dark terrors."

24. 'GARGOYLES' Logo.

"They are...the GARGOYLES."

25. KID at Disneyland.

"Joining the Disney Family in 1994."

NEW WRITER ON PILOT

After trying for a couple months, we went our seperate ways with our first writer. (Hopefully parting on good terms.)

Writer #2 was Eric Luke, another very talented guy. This document is largely a rehashing of what had already been done to that point, collated together for Eric's benefit as he started work on the pilot.

GARGOYLES March, 93
Notes on the opening to the Gargoyle T.V. Movie:

--We want to keep the story largely from Goliath's point of view. His problems. His tragedies. But we don't want him to be a morose character. He's optimistic. He believes that in time humans and gargoyles will learn to get along better. He has a sense of humor. He's heroic not dour.

--Hudson is Goliath's aide and advisor. He is NOT a baby-sitter to the kids. In fact, if Goliath requested him to act as baby-sitter, he'd probably refuse. From Hudson's point of view, Goliath's the gargoyle-master, and the kids are his responsibility.

--Anyway, we'd like to establish the kids independence from the get-go, to help establish them as being more teen-age in nature than real young. They don't need a chaperone. They're cocky and gung ho.

--We also feel strongly that the castle should be home to both the gargoyles and the humans in 994 A.D. We discussed the following back-back-story as rationale:

Long before 994, there was a gargoyle rookery high on a rocky promontory overlooking the sea. Medieval man sought out these rookeries as prime real estate for building their fortresses or castles. For one reason, the cliffside protected there backs, and the only accessible wall was easily manned by archers, etc. Secondly, medieval man knew that the gargoyles were instinctively territorial and protective of the rookery's inhabitants, whether those inhabitants were gargoyles or humans. If the humans of the castle could put up and co-exist with the gargoyles they'd have a built in group of warriors at night. And it was mutually beneficial: the gargoyles received human protection during the day.
Though not as rare in Europe as, say, the giraffe, even then Gargoyles and their rookeries were scarce. A castle-builder who couldn't find one to build on might carve stone gargoyles to fool and thus scare away would-be attackers. (Back then everyone knew about gargoyles.)
But our castle in Scotland was built on a rookery. And the gargoyles and humans have coexisted there for years. But as our story opens, relations are tense. Humanity as a race is taking on airs. To the humans, the gargoyles are uncouth. Grotesque. Ill-mannered. Nocturnal, and therefore noisy at night when humans are trying to sleep. Considered, at best, a necessary evil.

--The following "outline" is only designed to track the opening of the story and lay out the serious, emotional underpinning. It still needs to be injected with fun, humor, exciting action, etc. It comes to a tragic conclusion, but we aren't looking for 20 minutes of depressing tragedy. Obviously, it can be improved upon. Also, most of these scenes can be very quick.

ACT ONE
I. Open with peasants struggling on foot up the hill toward the castle on the promontory. It is minutes from sunset.
A. Intro ROBBY (a peasant boy) and ROBBY'S MOM. She's hurrying her son along (with other peasants) so that they reach the safety of the castle walls before the advancing army of MARAUDERS.
1. They enter the castle. The gates are closed.
B. CAPTAIN of the Guards has all his archers at the ready on the castle battlements. We establish hideous stone gargoyle statues.
C. Outside the castle, just out of arrow range, the Marauding Army waits for sunset. It's a large force.
1. COLE, purely evil leader of the Marauders, is keeping his men in line. (Perhaps violently.)
2. One MARAUDER asks Cole why they wait: "What about the Gargoyles?"
a. Cole tells him that every castle in Scotland claims to have Gargoyles. Most are just statues. Soon it'll be dark. The archers won't be able to pick them off. They'll attack.
D. Darkness falls. Silently, the marauding horde climbs the hill. The Captain tells his men not to waste their arrows.
1. Marauders attack, perhaps with grappling hooks and ropes, their own archers, etc. Perhaps one grappling hook flies toward the largest of the stone gargoyles.
a. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER, suddenly comes to life, catching the hook. Play up the transformation big time. (Maybe as he awakens, he shatters a thin outer layer of stone, like shedding a new skin every night. Then again, maybe not.)
2. Goliath flies down upon the marauders, closely followed by many GARGOYLE WARRIORS. Fun action.
a. Maybe it looks for a moment as if Goliath has been dragged down by three or four marauders, but soon he's shrugged them off.
3. Prominent among the warriors is [DEMONA] a FEMALE GARGOYLE, that Goliath seems to favor.
4. Intro ELDER Gargoyle [HUDSON], who coaches from the battlements.
5. Also intro TRIO of "teen-age" Gargoyles [BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY] and their GARGOYLE-DOG [BRONX]. One in particular [Lex] can't wait to be a gargoyle warrior himself.
a. The trio participates in action, but the way they fight brings in humor. More prankish. They make fools of enemy.
E. Gargoyles rout the Marauders who sound the retreat. The battle is over.

II. In throne room, intro the spoiled, beautiful, young QUEEN and her rich, foppish court.
A. Intro semi-dottering old WIZARD. Sweet, but largely ineffectual. Establish that his powers are on the wain. He needs to have his books of spells in front of him to perform any magic.
B. Captain enters with Goliath. They report the victory.
1. Though the Queen is polite on the surface, we can tell she took the victory for granted. We can tell she takes these two for granted. In fact, holds them in contempt.
a. Captain may be a bit of a pig. Tobacco-spitting kinda slob. Queen assumes Goliath's just like him.
b. Queen might also suggest that after this Marauder episode is done with, the Captain will be reporting to LORD FOPWORTH over here. Captain's clearly steamed.
2. Captain and Goliath exit, but before they're out of earshot, they hear the queen make snide, contemptuous comment about Goliath and Gargoyles.
C. Outside the throne room, the Captain and Goliath are joined by the old one [Hudson] and the female [Demona].
1. Captain is really burned up about the way Queen treats Goliath. Wants to know why Goliath puts up with it? Why he stays?
a. Female agrees.
b. Goliath responds on another level. He has the patience to wait for a better day. He sees a lot that's positive about humanity. And he's proud of his own race. Someday, things will get better. Besides, this is his ancestral home. The castle was built on Gargoyle Rookery. Gargoyles are instinctively and atavistically territorial beings. Where would he go?
c. Old Gargoyle is satisfied with answer. He and Goliath walk off.
d. We see that neither the Female nor the Captain find the situation satisfactory.

III. In open courtyard, where peasants are "camped out", we see Gargoyle dog and trio of young 'goyles wreaking havoc. A. They're waking people. Eating food, sloppily. Making a general mess. But not maliciously. They're just having a good time. (This should be a real fun, good time scene.)
1. It looks like fun to Robby the young peasant boy, and he moves to join them.
a. Robby's mom pulls him away. Gargoyles are dangerous and untrustworthy.
b. This really hurts the de facto leader of the trio [Lex]. He decides to live up to the gargoyle reputation and scare them.
c. He succeeds. Robby now believes Gargoyles are bad.
d. Goliath intervenes. Maybe even disciplines. (Though he's not humorless.) It's getting close to sunrise anyway.
2. Gargoyles all move to the battlements and strike a pose. They freeze into stone at daybreak. (We need to really play this up too.)

IV. Daytime in Cole's camp. Marauders are nursing their wounds.
A. Cole is visited by a mysterious shrouded figure who wants to make a deal. (Maybe to misdirect the audience, we will put this stranger in the voluminous robes of the Wizard.)
1. In exchange for a fair share of the profits, stranger promises to secure entry for Cole and his men.
a. And they won't have to worry about Goliath or his Gargoyles.

ACT TWO
V. That night, Captain talks to Goliath, Female Gargoyle and Old One. (Perhaps in front of Queen, as well.)
A. Captain urges Goliath to take all his Gargoyles and chase Cole's army out of the county.
1. Goliath doesn't like the idea. He basically believes in DEFENSE, not OFFENSE.
2. Captain, with some support from Female, argues that the best Defense is a good Offense.
a. Besides, Goliath doesn't have to battle Cole's forces, he just has to put a good scare into them so they'll never come back.
3. Goliath reluctantly agrees, but he's not going to take all the gargoyles with him. He'll go alone.
4. Female takes him aside. It isn't safe. He could never fight off all of Cole's army alone. She's worried about him.
a. But Goliath has no intention of fighting. And he can be plenty scary enough, by himself. (Makes a scary gargoyle face to prove it.)
b. She says, at least, let me go with you for back-up.
c. He claims he needs her (his best warrior) to stay behind at the castle. (But it's clear that truthfully, he doesn't want to put her at needless risk.)
d. To make her feel better, he agrees to take Old One with him, in case something goes wrong. But the rest will maintain their nightly vigil.
5. Goliath and Old One take off after Marauders.
B. Cole gets word from the traitor: there's been a slight change in plans.

VI. Intercut between the following:
A. Goliath and Old Gargoyle follow the tracks of the Marauders by starlight.
1. Goliath is impressed by how fast the army has traveled in one day.
B. Another fun scene with the Trio and their dog, before they are chased off by frightened and annoyed humans.
1. They explore the bowels of the castle and find the ancient caverns of the Gargoyle rookery that the castle was built on.
C. The Captain is giving some odd orders to his night guards. Sending them away from weapons' room. Etc.
1. He is examining their bowstrings, etc.

VII. Goliath and Old Gargoyle catch up with "army", only to discover it is a small band of men running abreast without equipment.
A. Goliath realizes something's definitely wrong. He and the Old One head back to the castle. But it's almost dawn.
B. The sun comes up.
1. Goliath and Old One are frozen, en route back to castle.
2. Trio and Dog are frozen in bowels of castle.
3. Gargoyle warriors are frozen on parapets.
4. Archers take up their stations, unaware that their bows have been sabotaged.
5. The captain (i.e. the traitor) gives the signal for Cole's men to attack.

VIII. Cole and his army attack.
A. Each bowman gets off one shot, before their bowstrings snap. (The Captain had tampered with them.)
1. Soon the castle is overrun.
2. And it doesn't help that the Captain opens the gates as well. This is probably all we see. The rest [in brackets] is just for story-tracking purposes.
[ 3. The battle is short.
B. The castle is sacked.
1. Anything worth anything is taken by the marauders.
2. All the humans including the Queen and the Wizard and Robby and his mom are put in chains and dragged off.
C. Cole's men begin to destroy the stone Gargoyles with maces.
1. Captain tries to stop it. This wasn't part of the deal and isn't necessary anyway.
a. If Marauders leave territory with their slaves and booty, the gargoyles won't follow. It's not in their nature.
2. Cole isn't taking any chances. All the gargoyles are destroyed.
a. Ultimately, the Captain has no choice.]

IX. Fade to sunset. Goliath and Old One awaken and hightail it back to castle.
A. They arrive long after Cole has left. A small fire still burns here and there.
1. The castle has been sacked of all valuables.
2. There are no people.
3. And worst of all, the Gargoyles have all been destroyed, i.e. murdered.
a. They lie in stone rubble all around him. Partial pieces, etc.
b. There is no particular sign of the female; Goliath assumes that she is among the rubble. Big time FURY.

ACT THREE
X. The trio and dog emerge from rookery caverns. (Maybe they were temporarily trapped there by damage done during the battle.) They are torn up by what they find.
A. Goliath and Old One are relieved that someone survived. But that doesn't abate their anger.
1. Together, the six gargoyles fly off to get their revenge.

XI. Cole's army has encamped for the night.
A. We see our Marauder taunt Robby and his mother outside in chains.
B. Inside his tent, Cole and the Captain discuss how much ransom they can get for the Queen.
1. They figure the wizard is probably worthless.
a. Wizard wishes he could just get his hands on his books of magic.
b. Cole taunts him with the books, burning them one by one. (Only one left.)
C. Outside the gargoyles attack. Lots of fun and action here.
1. Gargoyles are way out-numbered.
2. Old one is old. But he picks up a sword and holds his own.
3. Trio and Dog have little fighting experience.
a. Trio leader [Lex] makes use of some of the "scare" techniques that worked on the peasants in act one.
b. [Lex] saves Robby's mother from Marauder.
c. Robby saves him from one too.
4. Goliath is a holy terror. Wading into the hordes. Tossing them aside. Scaring the stuffing out of them.
D. Cole and Captain hear the noise and look outside.
1. Despite the overwhelming odds, the Gargoyles are winning.
2. Captain says they better get out now.
3. Cole dumps the last magic book and grabs the queen.
a. Wizard tries to stop him, but is pushed aside.
b. Cole says he'll never see the queen again.
c. Wizard assumes they're going to kill her.
4. Cole and Captain flee with Queen in tow.
5. Goliath sees them go. Follows alone.
E. Wizard stumbles out of tent with last magic book.
1. Battle is winding down.
a. Freed peasants and guards are now helping gargoyles.
b. Marauders retreat, scatter.
c. Queen is nowhere in sight.
2. Irrational Wizard blames gargoyles for causing the queen's death.
a. Using his spell book, he curses them. [See spell options below.]

XII. Goliath catches up with Captain and Cole.
A. Captain tries to reason with Goliath.
1. Tells him he never meant for Gargoyles to be destroyed.
2. Besides, what does Goliath owe the queen anyway. Now he can return to his rookery and be left in peace.
B. Goliath rejects Captain's excuses.
1. The Captain had taught him to go on offensive. "See what your lessons have wrought." Etc.
C. Goliath defeats (kills?) Cole and Captain.
1. Rescues grateful (and much changed and matured) Queen.

XIII. Goliath and Queen return too late.
A. Though it is still night, the other Gargoyles have been turned to stone.
B. Wizard feels like garbage when he finds out the truth.
1. But he can't undo the spell. Cole burned his other books.
C. Queen says that her people will not return to the cursed castle. They will start a new life/build a new castle elsewhere in the kingdom.
1. She sincerely invites Goliath to join them.
D. Goliath says no. He will return to the rookery.
E. Only gift that Wizard can offer is to cast the same spell on Goliath that he cast on the other gargoyles. (Or perhaps a slight variation.)
1. Goliath agrees to this.

XIV. The stone Gargoyles are perched on the abandoned castle walls by the humans. Robby waves goodbye.
A. One DAY, 1000 years later.
1. XAVIER is looking over his newly purchased ancient castle.
a. "Terrific," he says, "Now move it to Manhattan."

END OF PART ONE

[NOTE: DEMONA's story tracks as well. Like the Captain, she hates to see the way Goliath and the Gargoyles are treated by the spoiled Queen. She and the captain make a deal. They will convince Goliath to temporarily remove the Gargoyles from the castle. Cole will sack it and take away the humans as slaves, leaving the empty castle for Demona, Goliath and the rest of the Gargoyles.
Goliath screws up the plan by refusing to take all the Gargoyles away. Captain says, no problem. He'll sabotage his archers and the attack can take place during the day. He promises to protect the frozen Gargoyles.
Demona agrees, but just before dawn she gets nervous and flies away to hide.
She returns at some point (though Goliath won't see her). She sees the destroyed 'goyles and realizes that Goliath would never forgive that. She flies away to find a new life. Somehow, she will survive into the twentieth century, by which time, three factors will have turned her bitter and evil and eventually make her Goliath's worst enemy. (1) Her largely negative and criminal experiences since she last saw Goliath. (2) Goliath's inability to forgive her, (as much as he might wish he could). (3) Goliath's modern loyalty to humans, particularly Elisa Chavez.
In light of this, we should probably bring her back in the latter half of the telepic. She eventually teams up w/Xavier, raising the stakes, and tying the medieval stuff to the rest of the story. However, though we should plant the clues, we shouldn't give any real indication that she was part of the Captain/Cole conspiracy in Part One. All the revelations about her roll in the betrayal should wait until we see her again in 20th Century.]

SPELL OPTIONS
For initial spell that Wizard casts upon Old One, Trio and Dog in anger...
1) Frozen in stone for 1000 years.
2) Frozen in stone 'til castle rests in the clouds.
3) Frozen in stone so long as this castle stands on this ground.

For spell Wizard casts upon Goliath, as the best he can do for him.
1) Same, or maybe the slight variation of 999 years, giving Goliath a headstart, and an ability to see if it's safe.
2) Same.
3) Same.
4) He will continue his endless cycle of sleeping as stone in day, guarding the castle and his friends at night until either 1), 2) or 3) occurs.

Advantages and Disadvantages to various choices:
The main question, is whether or not Goliath has been awake and alone every night for a thousand years. (Goliath option 4)). If he has, it would allow him to be at least passingly familiar that modern technology exists. I.e. when we get him to NYC and he sees an airplane, he won't think it's a dragon. Plus there's the tragedy of that much loneliness. And the possibility down the road of one or two flashback episodes (Goliath fights in WWII or something). Disadvantages include that it adds a layer of complication to the spell. And maybe we like the idea that he thinks an airplane is a dragon. (Although keep in mind, we can always play those beats with the other 'goyles.)

As to the other gargoyles, the main issue is when do you want them to wake up. If it's not until after the castle is installed at the top of the skyscraper, than option 3) doesn't work. 1000 years makes a nice round number, but is it a stiff coincidence that the 1000 years ends in NYC? Probably no more so than the Castle in the Clouds curse, though the latter may have more ambience.

And again, if we want Goliath awake BEFORE the castle arrives in NYC, i.e. on the boat, than we have to vary the spell with him to some degree or else it won't be possible.

Right now we're leaning toward Goliath Option 4) "the endless cycle" coupled w/ Option 2) "the castle in the clouds". There is some concern that the Wizard casting two spells may be awkward though. So it's still open for discussion.

That's it.

My Journey to Oregon...

Around March of 1993, my boss at Disney, Gary Krisel, became fascinated with comic books -- mostly because his sons were collecting. At the time, no one was more successful than Tod McFarlane. He had launched SPAWN, and for awhile at least was bringing in multi-millions of dollars per month. WOW. I had worked briefly with Tod at DC Comics in the mid-eighties, when he was penciling INFINITY INC. for Roy Thomas, and I was Roy's Associate Editor on the book. At the time, Roy was a huge fan of Tod's. Most everyone else at DC thought his work was too eccentric. What did they know?

So anyway, Gary had me contact Tod. He wanted to see if he could get Tod interested in participating in GARGOYLES. We arranged a meeting at Tod's new home in Oregon. I prepared yet a tenth pass at the pitch, and Gary and I flew up north for an hour meeting with Tod. I did pitch the show, but Tod was way too focused on SPAWN to have any real interest. He and Gary talked about strategies for turning Spawn into a movie, and then we flew home. Nothing ever came of it. But here's the pitch, I pitched Tod:

GARGOYLES McFarlane Pitch
Semi-Modified Tenth Pass (Weisman / 3-4-93)

I. Trio of typical stone GARGOYLES.

"These are GARGOYLES. Ugly, stone statues that squat on the roofs of old buildings. But there was a time, one thousand years ago, when gargoyles were real, living creatures. During the day, they slept...frozen in stone."

II. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER. Proud and Noble.

"But when the sun went down, GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER would lead his gargoyle-warriors in defense of the king's castle."

III. HUMANS scorning the Gargoyles.

"For these efforts, Goliath received no reward, no thanks or even kindness. In fact, the people of the castle treated all gargoyles with nothing but contempt."

IV. The Gargoyle-Master alone in the throneroom.

"Still Goliath could no more stop guarding the castle than breathing the air. It's part of a gargoyle's nature to be territorial, protective. And so for years, he maintained his lonely vigil. Then one night, Goliath was betrayed and lured away from his post."

V. SORCEROR curses Goliath and the other gargoyles on the castle ramparts.

"The castle was overrun and sacked. Goliath and the surviving gargoyles were unfairly blamed. The kingdom's SORCEROR laid a curse upon them, and they fell into a stone sleep--that lasted a thousand years."

VI. Castle on the skyscraper.

"New York City, 1994. A rich and powerful man has decided there's a better place for a medieval castle than a picturesque hill in Scotland. He's moved the whole place--lock, stock and gargoyle--to the top of the tallest skyscraper in Manhattan."

VII. Police Detective ELISA CHAVEZ.

"All of which means absolutely nothing to New York City Police Detective, ELISA CHAVEZ. She doesn't care about castles, and she doesn't believe in curses. She's hot on the trail of a major badguy."

VIII. She's ambushed on a rooftop by multiple THUGS. She's got the drop on most of them. But someone's about to nail her from behind. (And from another rooftop, someTHING is watching in the shadows.)

"Too bad that trail leads her right into an ambush. But thank goodness, a shadowy figure sees what's happening and decides to help."

IX. Reveal THE GARGOYLE, determined, as he dives into fray from above.

"Thank goodness for THE GARGOYLE."

X. Gargoyle lifts a badguy with either hand. While a third shoots at him, the bullets glancing off his stone-like hide.

"Goliath benchpresses two badguys easy. And that stone-like hide of his makes him practically invulnerable..."

XI. Romantic shot in moonlight. Close in. She reaches up to touch his face gently. He looks handsome and noble and just a bit uncomfortable and sad.

"...To everything but Elisa's kindness. She is the first human being who's ever offered him understanding and friendship, hope..."

XII. From atop the skyscraper, she shows him Manhattan. The city as fortress. This is our showpiece card.

"...And a sense of purpose. She introduces him to his new home, Manhattan, and asks for his help in protecting it against modern day barbarians."

XIII. HUDSON. (One pose, plus two headshots.)

"Fortunately, our hero isn't alone. This is Goliath's old friend HUDSON, a Gargoyle-Warrior long past his prime. Hudson helps out by keeping an eye on the young Warriors-in-training..."

XIV. Trio of young Gargoyles, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. Same as card 1. (But in color, perhaps?)

"...BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. (Uh, they picked their own names.)"

XV. BRONX, the DOG. (Multiple poses.)

"And then there's BRONX, the Gargoyle-dog. He's not a big fan of adventure."

XVI. Bronx (two poses) chewing on a fire hydrant and flying.

"He just likes to eat a lot, sleep a lot and make a general mess."

XVII. Goliath and Elisa try to be inconspicuous on the Subway.

"Goliath has wider interests, but it can be hard for a seven-foot medieval monster to squeeze into the modern world."

XVIII. Interior of Gargoyle lair.

"Sometimes he just needs to retreat back to the old castle and let time stand still. Of course that can be tough too..."

XIX. XAVIER.

"Especially with XAVIER around. Rich, powerful and arrogant, Xavier bought the gargoyles' castle. Now he thinks he owns the gargoyles too."

XX. ROBOT climbing building toward Gargoyle.

"If something rotten is happening in New York...odds are Xavier's behind it."

XXI. DEMONA with BIG GUN.

"But Goliath's greatest foe is the evil gargoyle DEMONA."

XXII. Demona vs. Goliath, above the city.

"Once she and Goliath were friends. Now, she's his sworn enemy, and she won't rest 'til she controls the night..."

XXIII. Stone version of our Gargoyle. Looking vicious and scary. Daylight.

"And the night is all that matters, because the gargoyles still sleep as stone statues during the day, finding an outdoor ledge just before sunrise and striking a pose that could give you nightmares."

XXIV. Night. Goliath, handsome and noble again, on top of a skyscraper with the full moon, Elisa and the other Gargoyles right behind him. Gothic mood, but clearly set in the present.

"But when the sun goes down, they're our only protection from the city's dark terrors."

XXV. Title Card: "GARGOYLES".

"They are the GARGOYLES."

XXVI. KID at Disneyland.

"Joining the Disney Family in 1994."

FOCUS TESTING

Perish the thought that a yes answer can just be a yes answer. We had approval to proceed, but the powers that be at Disney were still not sure about doing this kind of cartoon at Disney. So they decided to focus test it with kids. Of course, we didn't have an episode produced yet to focus test. So they decided to put the pitch on video, and here I was doing a "Modified Ninth Pass" on the pitch, for this test.

In a focus group test, for those of you who've never heard of one, they pull a bunch of kids more or less off the streets (or out of malls) and put them in a room to watch a cartoon or something. Then a moderator asks questions, while we watch behind a one-way mirror and/or on closed-circuit t.v. The process, from my point of view, is WAY less than scientific, as one strong personality can push an entire group into saying almost anything. Some kids try to guess what answers the moderator wants, and try to make him happy or piss him off. The mere fact that they try this skews the results whether they're successful or not. Also answers get confused, particularly with kids. A kid will say, for example, that he or she "didn't like the villain." That might mean that he or she thinks it's not a very scary or interesting villain. Or it might mean they think it's a GREAT villain to hate.

Personally, focus groups are fascinating to watch in the way a train wreck is fascinating. You can't take your eyes off it. But as feedback goes, I don't hold much store by them.

GARGOYLES FOCUS GROUP VIDEO-SCRIPT
Modified Ninth Pass (Weisman / 1-29-93)

1-A. Trio of typical stone GARGOYLES.

"These are GARGOYLES. Ugly, stone statues that squat on the roofs of old buildings. But there was a time, one thousand years ago, when gargoyles were real, living creatures. During the day, they slept...frozen in stone."

2-B. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER. Proud and Noble.

"But when the sun went down, GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER would lead his gargoyle-warriors in defense of the king's castle."

3-C. Goliath reading in library, sitting on small gargoyles.

"And if there was no battle to be fought, he'd retreat to the library to read and learn, all the while making sure that the other gargoyles stayed out of trouble."

4-D. HUMANS scorning the Gargoyles.

"For all these efforts, Goliath received no reward, no thanks or even kindness. In fact, the people of the castle treated all gargoyles with nothing but contempt."

5-E. The Gargoyle-Master alone in the throneroom.

"Still Goliath could no more stop guarding the castle than breathing the air. It's part of a gargoyle's nature to be territorial, protective. And so for years, he maintained his lonely vigil."

6. Close-up of Goliath.

"Then one night, Goliath was betrayed and lured away from his post."

7-F (and/or 7-Alt). SORCEROR curses Goliath and the other gargoyles on the castle ramparts.

"The castle was overrun and sacked. Goliath and the surviving gargoyles were unfairly blamed. The castle SORCEROR laid a curse upon them, and they fell into a stone sleep--that lasted a thousand years."

26. Xavier.

"Now it's 1994. A rich and powerful man has decided there's a better place..."

Pre-8. Castle.

"...for a medieval castle than a picturesque hill in Scotland."

8-G. Castle on the skyscraper.

"He's moved the whole place--lock, stock and gargoyle--to the top of the tallest skyscraper in Manhattan."

9-H. Police Detective ELISA CHAVEZ.

"All of which means absolutely nothing to New York City Police Detective, ELISA CHAVEZ. She doesn't care about castles, and she doesn't believe in curses. She's hot on the trail of a major badguy."

10-I. She's ambushed on a rooftop by multiple THUGS. She's got the drop on most of them. But someone's about to nail her from behind. (And from another rooftop, someTHING is watching in the shadows.)

"Too bad that trail leads her right into an ambush. But thank goodness, a shadowy figure sees what's happening and decides to help."

11-J (and/or 11-Alt). Reveal THE GARGOYLE, determined, as he dives into fray from above.

"Thank goodness for THE GARGOYLE."

12. Gargoyle lifts a badguy with either hand. While a third shoots at him, the bullets glancing off his stone-like hide.

"Goliath benchpresses two badguys easy. And that stone-like hide of his makes him practically invulnerable..."

13-K. Romantic shot in moonlight. Close in. She reaches up to touch his face gently. He looks handsome and noble and just a bit uncomfortable and sad.

"...To everything but Elisa's kindness. She is the first human being who's ever offered him understanding and friendship, hope..."

14-L. From atop the skyscraper, she shows him Manhattan. The city as fortress. This is our showpiece card.

"...And a sense of purpose. She introduces him to his new home, Manhattan, and asks for his help in protecting it against modern day barbarians."

15-M. HUDSON. (One pose, plus two headshots.)

"Fortunately, our hero isn't alone. This is Goliath's old friend HUDSON, a Gargoyle-Warrior long past his prime. Hudson helps out by keeping an eye on the young Warriors-in-training..."

16-N. Trio of young Gargoyles, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. Same as card 1. (But in color, perhaps?)

"...BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. (Uh, they picked their own names.)"

20-O. BRONX, the DOG. (Multiple poses.)

"And then there's BRONX, the Gargoyle-dog. He's not a big fan of adventure."

21-P. Bronx (two poses) chewing on a fire hydrant and flying.

"He just likes to eat a lot, sleep a lot and make a general mess."

23-Q. Trio uses Bronx to play trick on Hudson.

"All in all, it's a lot for Hudson to handle."

24-R. Goliath and Elisa try to be inconspicuous on the Subway.

"Not that Goliath has it any easier. It's hard for a seven-foot medieval monster to squeeze into the modern world."

Pre-25 (and/or Pre-25-Alt). Exteriors of castle.
"Sometimes he just needs to retreat back to the old castle..."

25-S. Interior of Gargoyle lair.

" and take it easy. Unfortunately, he doesn't get much time for relaxation..."

26. XAVIER.

"Not with XAVIER around. Rich, powerful and arrogant, Xavier bought the gargoyles' castle. Now he figures he owns the gargoyles too."

30. ROBOT climbing building toward Gargoyle.

"If something rotten is happening in New York...odds are Xavier's behind it."

31. CATSCAN is discovered by Goliath and Elisa.

"Then there's CATSCAN. A scientist mutated by his own experiments..."

32. Catscan, in full pose and "Night Vision" head shot.

"...Into a bitter criminal with deadly Night-Vision."

33. DEMONA with BIG GUN.

"But the toughest villain of them all is the evil gargoyle DEMONA."

34. Demona vs. Goliath, above the city.

"Once she and Goliath were friends. Now, she's his sworn enemy, and she won't rest 'til she controls the night..."

35-T. Stone version of our Gargoyle. Looking vicious and scary. Daylight.

"And the night is all that matters, because the gargoyles still sleep as stone statues during the day, finding an outdoor ledge just before sunrise and striking a pose that could give you nightmares."

36-U. Night. Goliath, handsome and noble again, on top of a skyscraper with the full moon, Elisa and the other Gargoyles right behind him. Gothic mood, but clearly set in the present.

"But when the sun goes down, they're our only protection from the city's dark terrors."

37. Title Card: "GARGOYLES".

"They are the GARGOYLES."

38-V. KID at Disneyland.

"Joining the Disney Family in 1994."

Still at work on the pilot...

This is still us trying to work out the story we wanted to tell with the first writer we hired for the project (one previous to Eric Luke and two previous to Michael Reaves). I remember this writer felt that having the gargs turn to stone EVERY night was too limiting. He asked us to drop that. I didn't want to, but checked with my boss Gary Krisel for confirmation. Gary agreed with me, so the first order of business was confirming that rule.

Much of the rest of this is a repeat of stuff that already got said. The fact that I had to keep repeating myself was probably not a good sign that we had the right person for this particular project. (I've mentioned before, that I very much admire this writer; it was simply two people seeing things two different ways.)

GARGOYLES 1-22-93
Notes on First Part of multi-parter.

GENERAL NOTES
The following combines (in as coherent a form as we could manage) the General Notes of all concerned.

--First off, we raised the issue of the stone/day - alive/night rule and the problems it can potentially cause. The consensus was an acknowledgement of the difficulty, but a real desire to keep that element. Gary, in particular, felt very strongly that it was one of the main appeals to the concept: an automatic ticking clock to every story, kryptonite, etc.

--Though we all agree that the ECLIPSE would make a great episode some day, we're very concerned about establishing the gargoyle rules here in the first part. We don't want to confuse the issue with an eclipse.

--We want to keep the story largely from Goliath's point of view. His problems. His tragedies. But we don't want him to be a morose character. He's optimistic (until the very end). He believes that in time humans and gargoyles will learn to get along better. He has a sense of humor. He's heroic not dour.

--The-not-yet-named-Hudson is Goliath's aide and advisor. He is NOT a baby-sitter to the kids. In fact, if Goliath requested him to act as baby-sitter, he'd probably refuse. From his point of view, Goliath's the gargoyle-master, and the kids are his responsibility.

--Anyway, we'd like to establish the kids independence from the get-go, to help establish them as being more teen-age in nature than real young. They don't need a chaperone. They're cocky and gung ho.

--We also felt strongly that the castle should be home to both the gargoyles and the humans in 994 A.D. We discussed the following back-back-story as rationale:

Long before 994, there was a gargoyle rookery high on a rocky promontory overlooking the sea. Medieval man sought out these rookeries as prime real estate for building their fortresses or castles. For one reason, the cliffside protected there backs, and the only accessible wall was easily manned by archers, etc. Secondly, medieval man knew that the gargoyles were instinctively territorial and protective of the rookery's inhabitants, whether those inhabitants were gargoyles or humans. If the humans of the castle could put up and co-exist with the gargoyles they'd have a built in group of warriors at night. And it was mutually beneficial: the gargoyles received human protection during the day.
Though not as rare in Europe as, say, the giraffe, even then Gargoyles and their rookeries were scarce. A castle-builder who couldn't find one to build on might carve stone gargoyles to fool and thus scare away would-be attackers. (Back then everyone knew about gargoyles.)
But our castle in Scotland was built on a rookery. And the gargoyles and humans have coexisted there for years. But as our story opens, relations are tense. Humanity as a race is taking on airs. To the humans, the gargoyles are uncouth. Grotesque. Ill-mannered. Nocturnal, and therefore noisy at night when humans are trying to sleep. Considered, at best, a necessary evil.

STORY NOTES
--The following "outline" is only designed to track the story and lay out the serious, emotional underpinning. It still needs to be injected with fun, humor, exciting action, etc. It comes to a tragic conclusion, but we aren't looking for 22 minutes of depressing tragedy. Obviously, it can be improved upon. Also, most of these scenes can be very quick.

ACT ONE
I. Open with peasants struggling on foot up the hill toward the castle on the promontory. It is minutes from sunset.
A. Intro ROBBY (a peasant boy) and ROBBY'S MOM. She's hurrying her son along (with other peasants) so that they reach the safety of the castle walls before the advancing army of MARAUDERS.
1. They enter the castle. The gates are closed.
B. CAPTAIN of the Guards has all his archers at the ready on the castle battlements. We establish hideous stone gargoyle statues.
C. Outside the castle, just out of arrow range, the Marauding Army waits for sunset. It's a large force.
1. LOCHTER, purely evil leader of the Marauders, is keeping his men in line. (Perhaps violently.)
2. One MARAUDER asks Lochter why they wait: "What about the Gargoyles?"
a. Lochter tells him that every castle in Scotland claims to have Gargoyles. Most are just statues. Soon it'll be dark. The archers won't be able to pick them off. They'll attack.
D. Darkness falls. Silently, the marauding horde climbs the hill. The Captain tells his men not to waste their arrows.
1. Marauders attack, perhaps with grappling hooks and ropes, their own archers, etc. Perhaps one grappling hook flies toward the largest of the stone gargoyles.
a. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER, suddenly comes to life, catching the hook. Play up the transformation big time. (Maybe as he awakens, he shatters a thin outer layer of stone, like shedding a new skin every night. Then again, maybe not.)
2. Goliath flies down upon the marauders, closely followed by many GARGOYLE WARRIORS. Fun action.
a. Maybe it looks for a moment as if Goliath has been dragged down by three or four marauders, but soon he's shrugged them off.
3. Prominent among the warriors is [DEMONA] a FEMALE GARGOYLE, that Goliath seems to favor.
4. Intro ELDER Gargoyle [HUDSON], who coaches from the battlements.
5. Also intro TRIO of "teen-age" Gargoyles [BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY] and their GARGOYLE-DOG [BRONX]. One in particular [Lex] can't wait to be a gargoyle warrior himself.
a. The trio participates in action, but the way they fight brings in humor. More prankish. They make fools of enemy.
E. Gargoyles rout the Marauders who sound the retreat. The battle is over.

II. In throne room, intro the spoiled, beautiful, young QUEEN and her rich, foppish court.
A. Intro semi-dottering old WIZARD. Sweet, but largely ineffectual. Establish that his powers are on the wain. He needs to have his books of spells in front of him to perform any magic.
B. Captain enters with Goliath. They report the victory.
1. Though the Queen is polite on the surface, we can tell she took the victory for granted. We can tell she takes these two for granted. In fact, holds them in contempt.
a. Captain may be a bit of a pig. Tobacco-spitting kinda slob. Queen assumes Goliath's just like him.
b. Queen might also suggest that after this Marauder episode is done with, the Captain will be reporting to LORD FOPWORTH over here. Captain's clearly steamed.
2. Captain and Goliath exit, but before they're out of earshot, they hear the queen make snide, contemptuous comment about Goliath and Gargoyles.
C. Outside the throne room, the Captain and Goliath are joined by the old one [Hudson] and the female [Demona].
1. Captain is really burned up about the way Queen treats Goliath. Wants to know why Goliath puts up with it? Why he stays?
a. Female agrees.
b. Goliath responds on another level. He has the patience to wait for a better day. He sees a lot that's positive about humanity. And he's proud of his own race. Someday, things will get better. Besides, this is his ancestral home. The castle was built on Gargoyle Rookery. Gargoyles are instinctively and atavistically territorial beings. Where would he go?
c. Old Gargoyle is satisfied with answer. He and Goliath walk off.
d. We see that neither the Female nor the Captain find the situation satisfactory.

III. In open courtyard, where peasants are "camped out", we see Gargoyle dog and trio of young 'goyles wreaking havoc. A. They're waking people. Eating food, sloppily. Making a general mess. But not maliciously. They're just having a good time. (This should be a real fun, good time scene.)
1. It looks like fun to Robby the young peasant boy, and he moves to join them.
a. Robby's mom pulls him away. Gargoyles are dangerous and untrustworthy.
b. This really hurts the de facto leader of the trio [Lex]. He decides to live up to the gargoyle reputation and scare them.
c. He succeeds. Robby now believes Gargoyles are bad.
d. Goliath intervenes. Maybe even disciplines. (Though he's not humorless.) It's getting close to sunrise anyway.
2. Gargoyles all move to the battlements and strike a pose. They freeze into stone at daybreak. (We need to really play this up too.)

IV. Daytime in Lochter's camp. Marauders are nursing their wounds.
A. Lochter is visited by a mysterious shrouded figure who wants to make a deal. (Maybe to misdirect the audience, we will put this stranger in the voluminous robes of the Wizard.)
1. In exchange for a fair share of the profits, stranger promises to secure entry for Lochter and his men.
a. And they won't have to worry about Goliath or his Gargoyles.

ACT TWO
V. That night, Captain talks to Goliath, Female Gargoyle and Old One. (Perhaps in front of Queen, as well.)
A. Captain urges Goliath to take all his Gargoyles and chase Lochter's army out of the county.
1. Goliath doesn't like the idea. He basically believes in DEFENSE, not OFFENSE.
2. Captain, with some support from Female, argues that the best Defense is a good Offense.
a. Besides, Goliath doesn't have to battle Lochter's forces, he just has to put a good scare into them so they'll never come back.
3. Goliath reluctantly agrees, but he's not going to take all the gargoyles with him. He'll go alone.
4. Female takes him aside. It isn't safe. He could never fight off all of Lochter's army alone. She's worried about him.
a. But Goliath has no intention of fighting. And he can be plenty scary enough, by himself. (Makes a scary gargoyle face to prove it.)
b. She says, at least, let me go with you for back-up.
c. He claims he needs her (his best warrior) to stay behind at the castle. (But it's clear that truthfully, he doesn't want to put her at needless risk.)
d. To make her feel better, he agrees to take Old One with him, in case something goes wrong. But the rest will maintain their nightly vigil.
5. Goliath and Old One take off after Marauders.
B. Lochter gets word from the traitor: there's been a slight change in plans.

VI. Intercut between the following:
A. Goliath and Old Gargoyle follow the tracks of the Marauders by starlight.
1. Goliath is impressed by how fast the army has traveled in one day.
B. Another fun scene with the Trio and their dog, before they are chased off by frightened and annoyed humans.
1. They explore the bowels of the castle and find the ancient caverns of the Gargoyle rookery that the castle was built on.
C. The Captain is giving some odd orders to his night guards. Sending them away from weapons' room. Etc.
1. He is examining their bowstrings, etc.

VII. Goliath and Old Gargoyle catch up with "army", only to discover it is a small band of men running abreast without equipment.
A. Goliath realizes something's definitely wrong. He and the Old One head back to the castle. But it's almost dawn.
B. The sun comes up.
1. Goliath and Old One are frozen, en route back to castle.
2. Trio and Dog are frozen in bowels of castle.
3. Gargoyle warriors are frozen on parapets.
4. Archers take up their stations, unaware that their bows have been sabotaged.
5. The captain (i.e. the traitor) gives the signal for Lochter's men to attack.

VIII. Lochter and his army attack.
A. Each bowman gets off one shot, before their bowstrings snap. (The Captain had tampered with them.)
1. Soon the castle is overrun.
2. And it doesn't help that the Captain opens the gates as well. This is probably all we see. The rest [in brackets] is just for story-tracking purposes.
[ 3. The battle is short.
B. The castle is sacked.
1. Anything worth anything is taken by the marauders.
2. All the humans including the Queen and the Wizard and Robby and his mom are put in chains and dragged off.
C. Lochter's men begin to destroy the stone Gargoyles with maces.
1. Captain tries to stop it. This wasn't part of the deal and isn't necessary anyway.
a. If Marauders leave territory with their slaves and booty, the gargoyles won't follow. It's not in their nature.
2. Lochter isn't taking any chances. All the gargoyles are destroyed.
a. Ultimately, the Captain has no choice.]

IX. Fade to sunset. Goliath and Old One awaken and hightail it back to castle.
A. They arrive long after Lochter has left. A small fire still burns here and there.
1. The castle has been sacked of all valuables.
2. There are no people.
3. And worst of all, the Gargoyles have all been destroyed, i.e. murdered.
a. They lie in stone rubble all around him. Partial pieces, etc.
b. There is no particular sign of the female; Goliath assumes that she is among the rubble. Big time FURY.

ACT THREE
X. The trio and dog emerge from rookery caverns. (Maybe they were temporarily trapped there by damage done during the battle.) They are torn up by what they find.
A. Goliath and Old One are relieved that someone survived. But that doesn't abate their anger.
1. Together, the six gargoyles fly off to get their revenge.

XI. Lochter's army has encamped for the night.
A. We see our Marauder taunt Robby and his mother outside in chains.
B. Inside his tent, Lochter and the Captain discuss how much ransom they can get for the Queen.
1. They figure the wizard is probably worthless.
a. Wizard wishes he could just get his hands on his books of magic.
b. Lochter taunts him with the books, burning them one by one. (Only one left.)
C. Outside the gargoyles attack. Lots of fun and action here.
1. Gargoyles are way out-numbered.
2. Old one is old. But he picks up a sword and holds his own.
3. Trio and Dog have little fighting experience.
a. Trio leader [Lex] makes use of some of the "scare" techniques that worked on the peasants in act one.
b. [Lex] saves Robby's mother from Marauder.
c. Robby saves him from one too.
4. Goliath is a holy terror. Wading into the hordes. Tossing them aside. Scaring the stuffing out of them.
D. Lochter and Captain hear the noise and look outside.
1. Despite the overwhelming odds, the Gargoyles are winning.
2. Captain says they better get out now.
3. Lochter dumps the last magic book and grabs the queen.
a. Wizard tries to stop him, but is pushed aside.
b. Lochter says he'll never see the queen again.
c. Wizard assumes they're going to kill her.
4. Lochter and Captain flee with Queen in tow.
5. Goliath sees them go. Follows alone.
E. Wizard stumbles out of tent with last magic book.
1. Battle is winding down.
a. Freed peasants and guards are now helping gargoyles.
b. Marauders retreat, scatter.
c. Queen is nowhere in sight.
2. Irrational Wizard blames gargoyles for causing the queen's death.
a. Using his spell book, he curses them. [See spell options below.]

XII. Goliath catches up with Captain and Lochter.
A. Captain tries to reason with Goliath.
1. Tells him he never meant for Gargoyles to be destroyed.
2. Besides, what does Goliath owe the queen anyway. Now he can return to his rookery and be left in peace.
B. Goliath rejects Captain's excuses.
1. The Captain had taught him to go on offensive. "See what your lessons have wrought." Etc.
C. Goliath defeats (kills?) Lochter and Captain.
1. Rescues grateful (and much changed and matured) Queen.

XIII. Goliath and Queen return too late.
A. Though it is still night, the other Gargoyles have been turned to stone.
B. Wizard feels like garbage when he finds out the truth.
1. But he can't undo the spell. Lochter burned his other books.
C. Queen says that her people will not return to the cursed castle. They will start a new life/build a new castle elsewhere in the kingdom.
1. She sincerely invites Goliath to join them.
D. Goliath says no. He will return to the rookery.
E. Only gift that Wizard can offer is to cast the same spell on Goliath that he cast on the other gargoyles. (Or perhaps a slight variation.)
1. Goliath agrees to this.

XIV. The stone Gargoyles are perched on the abandoned castle walls by the humans. Robby waves goodbye.
A. One DAY, 1000 years later.
1. XAVIER is looking over his newly purchased ancient castle.
a. "Terrific," he says, "Now move it to Manhattan."

END OF PART ONE

[NOTE: DEMONA's story tracks as well. Like the Captain, she hates to see the way Goliath and the Gargoyles are treated by the spoiled Queen. She and the captain make a deal. They will convince Goliath to temporarily remove the Gargoyles from the castle. Lochter will sack it and take away the humans as slaves, leaving the empty castle for Demona, Goliath and the rest of the Gargoyles.
Goliath screws up the plan by refusing to take all the Gargoyles away. Captain says, no problem. He'll sabotage his archers and the attack can take place during the day. He promises to protect the frozen Gargoyles.
Demona agrees, but just before dawn she gets nervous and flies away to hide.
She returns at some point (though Goliath won't see her). She sees the destroyed 'goyles and realizes that Goliath would never forgive that. She flies away to find a new life. Somehow, she will survive into the twentieth century, by which time, three factors will have turned her bitter and evil and eventually make her Goliath's worst enemy. (1) Her largely negative and criminal experiences since she last saw Goliath. (2) Goliath's inability to forgive her, (as much as he might wish he could). (3) Goliath's modern loyalty to humans, particularly Elisa Chavez.
In light of this, we should probably bring her back in @part Four of five-parter. She eventually teams up w/Xavier, raising the stakes, and tying part one to the rest of the story. However, though we should plant the clues, we shouldn't give any real indication that she was part of the Captain/Lochter conspiracy in Part One. All the revelations about her roll in the betrayal should wait until we see her again in 20th Century.]

SPELL OPTIONS
For initial spell that Wizard casts upon Old One, Trio and Dog in anger...
1) Frozen in stone for 1000 years.
2) Frozen in stone 'til castle rests in the clouds.
3) Frozen in stone so long as this castle stands on this ground.

For spell Wizard casts upon Goliath, as the best he can do for him.
1) Same, or maybe the slight variation of 999 years, giving Goliath a headstart, and an ability to see if it's safe.
2) Same.
3) Same.
4) He will continue his endless cycle of sleeping as stone in day, guarding the castle and his friends at night until either 1), 2) or 3) occurs.

Advantages and Disadvantages to various choices:
The main question, is whether or not Goliath has been awake and alone every night for a thousand years. (Goliath option 4)). If he has, it would allow him to be at least passingly familiar that modern technology exists. I.e. when we get him to NYC and he sees an airplane, he won't think it's a dragon. Plus there's the tragedy of that much loneliness. And the possibility down the road of one or two flashback episodes (Goliath fights in WWII or something). Disadvantages include that it adds a layer of complication to the spell. And maybe we like the idea that he thinks an airplane is a dragon. (Although keep in mind, we can always play those beats with the other 'goyles.)

As to the other gargoyles, the main issue is when do you want them to wake up. If it's not until after the castle is installed at the top of the skyscraper, than option 3) doesn't work. 1000 years makes a nice round number, but is it a stiff coincidence that the 1000 years ends in NYC? Probably no more so than the Castle in the Clouds curse, though the latter may have more ambience.

And again, if we want Goliath awake BEFORE the castle arrives in NYC, i.e. on the boat, than we have to vary the spell with him to some degree or else it won't be possible.

Right now we're leaning toward Goliath Option 4) "the endless cycle" coupled w/ Option 2) "the castle in the clouds". There is some concern that the Wizard casting two spells may be awkward though. So it's still open for discussion.

That's it.

At work on the pilot...

We were still working with the first writer on the pilot story. This was a story that those of us at Disney, who had been working on this show since 1991, felt VERY strongly about. So I was taking a much stronger hand than I normally would (or should) as a development executive. Though I wasn't yet conscious of it, I was already moving toward being a producer of the series.

Among other little details, you'll notice that our enemy is "marauders" at this point. Not Vikings. You'll notice that we still have the personalities of Lex and Brooklyn switched, and in general they come off more as kids than young teen warriors. Tom is called Robby. (Later, I'd use the name Robby for the Captain.) Princess K is a queen. And the Magus is old and dottering.

GARGOYLES 1-20-93
Notes on First Part of multi-parter. (Weisman)

BEAT OUTLINE
ACT ONE
I. Open with peasants struggling on foot up the hill toward the castle on the promontory. It is minutes from sunset.
A. Intro ROBBY (a peasant boy) and ROBBY'S MOM. She's hurrying her son along (with other peasants) so that they reach the safety of the castle walls before the advancing army of MARAUDERS.
1. They enter the castle. The gates are closed.
B. CAPTAIN of the Guards has all his archers at the ready on the castle battlements. We establish hideous stone gargoyle statues.
C. Outside the castle, just out of arrow range, the Marauding Army waits for sunset. It's a large force.
1. LOCHTER, purely evil leader of the Marauders, is keeping his men in line. (Perhaps violently.)
2. One MARAUDER asks Lochter why they wait: "What about the Gargoyles?"
a. Lochter tells him that every castle in Scotland claims to have Gargoyles. Most are just statues. Soon it'll be dark. The archers won't be able to pick them off. They'll attack.
D. Darkness falls. Silently, the marauding horde climbs the hill. The Captain tells his men not to waste their arrows.
1. Our Marauder reaches the foot of the wall and tosses a grappling hook tied to a rope up toward the battlement. Toward the largest of the stone gargoyles.
a. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER, suddenly comes to life, catching the hook.
2. Goliath flies down upon the marauders, closely followed by many GARGOYLE WARRIORS.
a. Prominent among the warriors is [DEMONA] a FEMALE GARGOYLE, that Goliath seems to favor.
3. Intro ELDER Gargoyle [HUDSON], who coaches from the battlements.
4. Also on the sidelines, intro TRIO of "teen-age" Gargoyles [BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY] and their GARGOYLE-DOG [BRONX]. One in particular [Lex] can't wait to be a gargoyle warrior himself.
E. Gargoyles rout the Marauders who sound the retreat. The battle is over.

II. In throne room, intro the spoiled, beautiful, young QUEEN and her foppish court.
A. Intro semi-dottering old WIZARD. Sweet, but largely ineffectual. Establish that his powers are on the wain. He needs to have his books of spells in front of him to perform any magic.

B. Captain enters with Goliath. They report the victory.
1. Though the Queen is polite on the surface, we can tell she took the victory for granted. We can tell she takes these two for granted, particularly Goliath.
2. Captain and Goliath exit, but before they're out of earshot, they hear the queen make snide, contemptuous comment about Goliath and Gargoyles.
C. Outside the throne room, the Captain and Goliath are joined by the old one [Hudson] and the female [Demona].
1. Captain is really burned up about the way Queen treats Goliath. Wants to know why Goliath puts up with it? Why he stays?
a. Goliath responds on another level. True, it saddens him that his loyalty means nothing. But this is his ancestral home. Explains castle was built on Gargoyle Rookery. Gargoyles are communal, territorial beings. (Perhaps explain here why Goliath is the only garg. w/a name.) He cannot leave. Where would he go?
b. Old Gargoyle is satisfied with answer. He and Goliath walk off.
c. We see that neither the Female nor the Captain find the situation satisfactory.

III. In open courtyard, where peasants are "camped out", we see Gargoyle dog and trio of young 'goyles wreaking havoc.
A. They're waking people. Eating food, sloppily. Making a general mess. But not maliciously. They're just having a good time.
1. It looks like fun to Robby the young peasant boy, and he moves to join them.
a. Robby's mom pulls him away. Gargoyles are dangerous and untrustworthy.
b. This really hurts the de facto leader of the trio [Lex]. He decides to live up to the gargoyle reputation and scare them.
c. He succeeds. Robby now believes Gargoyles are bad.
d. Goliath intervenes. It's getting close to sunrise anyway.
2. Gargoyles all move to the battlements and strike a pose.

IV. Daytime in Lochter's camp. Marauders are nursing their wounds.
A. Lochter is visited by a mysterious shrouded figure who wants to make a deal. (Maybe to misdirect the audience, we will put this stranger in the voluminous robes of the Wizard.)
1. In exchange for a fair share of the profits, stranger promises to secure entry for Lochter and his men.
a. And they won't have to worry about Goliath or his Gargoyles.

ACT TWO
V. That night, Captain talks to Goliath, Female Gargoyle and Old One. (Perhaps in front of Queen, as well.)
A. Captain urges Goliath to take all his Gargoyles and chase Lochter's army out of the county.
1. Goliath doesn't like the idea. He basically believes in DEFENSE, not OFFENSE.
2. Captain, with some support from Female, argues that the best Defense is a good Offense.
a. Besides, Goliath doesn't have to battle Lochter's forces, he just has to put a good scare into them so they'll never come back.
3. Goliath reluctantly agrees, but he's not going to take all the gargoyles with him. He'll go alone.
a. Female balks. It isn't safe. He could never fight off all of Lochter's army alone.
b. But Goliath has no intention of fighting. And he can be plenty scary enough, by himself. (Makes a scary gargoyle face to prove it.)
c. He agrees to take Old One with him, in case something goes wrong. But the rest will maintain their nightly vigil.
4. Goliath and Old One take off after Marauders.
B. Lochter gets word from the traitor: there's been a slight change in plans.

VI. Intercut between the following:
A. Goliath and Old Gargoyle follow the tracks of the Marauders by starlight.
1. Goliath is impressed by how fast the army has traveled in one day.
B. The Trio and their dog are chased off by frightened and annoyed humans.
1. They explore the bowels of the castle and find the ancient caverns of the Gargoyle rookery that the castle was built on.
C. The Captain is giving some odd orders to his night guards. Sending them away from weapons' room. Etc.
1. He is examining their bowstrings, etc.

VII. Goliath and Old Gargoyle catch up with "army", only to discover it is a small band of men running abreast without equipment.
A. Goliath realizes they've been fooled. He and the Old One head back to the castle. But it's almost dawn.
B. The sun comes up.
1. Goliath and Hudson are frozen, en route back to castle.
2. Trio and Dog are frozen in bowels of castle.
3. Gargoyle warriors are frozen on parapets.
4. Archers take up their stations, unaware that their bows have been sabotaged.
5. The captain (i.e. the traitor) gives the signal for Lochter's men to attack.

VIII. Lochter and his army attack.
A. Each bowman gets off one shot, before their bowstrings snap. (The Captain had tampered with them.)
1. Soon the castle is overrun.
2. And it doesn't help that the Captain opens the gates as well.
3. The battle is short.
B. The castle is sacked.
1. Anything worth anything is taken by the marauders.
2. All the humans including the Queen and the Wizard and Robby and his mom are put in chains and dragged off.
C. Lochter's men begin to destroy the stone Gargoyles with maces.
1. Captain tries to stop it. This wasn't part of the deal and isn't necessary anyway.
a. If Marauders leave territory with their slaves and booty, the gargoyles won't follow. It's not in their nature.
2. Lochter isn't taking any chances. All the gargoyles are destroyed.
a. Ultimately, the Captain has no choice.

IX. Fade to sunset. Goliath and Old One awaken and hightail it back to castle.
A. They arrive long after Lochter has left. A small fire still burns here and there.
1. The castle has been sacked of all valuables.
2. There are no people.
3. And worst of all, the Gargoyles have all been destroyed, i.e. murdered.
a. They lie in stone rubble all around him. Partial pieces, etc.
b. There is no particular sign of the female; Goliath assumes that she is among the rubble. Big time FURY.

ACT THREE
X. The kids emerge from rookery caverns. They are torn up by what they find.
A. Goliath and Old One are relieved that someone survived. But that doesn't abate their anger.
1. Together, the six gargoyles fly off to get their revenge.

XI. Lochter's army has encamped for the night.
A. We see our Marauder torment Robby and his mother outside in chains.
B. Inside his tent, Lochter and the Captain discuss what to do with the Queen.
1. They figure the wizard is probably worthless.
a. Wizard wishes he could just get his hands on his books of magic.
b. Lochter taunts him with the books, burning them one by one. (Only one left.)
C. Outside the gargoyles attack carefully.
1. They are way out-numbered.
2. Old one is old. But he picks up a sword and holds his own.
3. Trio and Dog have no fighting experience.
a. Trio leader [Lex] makes use of some of the "scare" techniques that worked on the peasants in act one.
b. Saves Robby's mother from Marauder.
c. Robby saves him from one too.
4. Goliath is a holy terror. Wading into the hordes. Tossing them aside. Scaring the stuffing out of them.
D. Lochter and Captain here the noise and look outside.
1. Despite the overwhelming odds, the Gargoyles are winning.
2. Captain says they better get out now.
3. Lochter dumps the last magic book and grabs the queen.
a. Wizard tries to stop him, but is pushed aside.
b. Lochter says he'll never see the queen again.
c. Wizard assumes they're going to kill her.
4. Lochter and Captain flee with Queen in tow.
5. Goliath sees them go. Follows alone.
E. Wizard stumbles out of tent with last magic book.
1. Battle is winding down.
a. Freed peasants and guards are now helping gargoyles.
b. Marauders retreat, scatter.
c. Queen is nowhere in sight.

2. Irrational Wizard blames gargoyles for not protecting castle in first place and for starting this fight which caused the queen's death.
a. Using his spell book, he curses them. [See spell options below.]

XII. Goliath catches up with Captain and Lochter.
A. Captain tries to reason with Goliath.
1. Tells him he never meant for Gargoyles to be destroyed.
2. What does Goliath owe the queen anyway. Now he can return to his rookery and be left in peace.
B. Goliath rejects Captain's excuses.
1. Captain taught him to go on offensive. "See what your lessons have wrought." Etc.
C. Goliath defeats (kills?) Lochter and Captain.
1. Rescues grateful (and much changed and matured) Queen.

XIII. Goliath and Queen return too late.
A. Though it is still night, the other Gargoyles have been turned to stone.
B. Wizard feels like garbage when he finds out the truth.
1. But he can't undo the spell. Lochter burned his other books.
C. Queen says that her people will not return to the cursed castle. They will start a new life elsewhere.
1. She sincerely invites Goliath to join them.
D. Goliath says no. He will return to the rookery.
E. Only gift that Wizard can offer is to cast the same spell on Goliath that he cast on the other gargoyles. (Or perhaps a slight variation.)
1. Goliath agrees to this.

XIV. The stone Gargoyles are perched on the abandoned castle walls by the humans. Robby waves goodbye.
A. One DAY, 1000 years later.
1. XAVIER is looking over his newly purchased ancient castle.
a. "Terrific," he says, "Now move it to Manhattan."

END OF PART ONE

[NOTE: DEMONA's story tracks as well. Like the Captain, she hates to see the way Goliath and the Gargoyles are treated by the spoiled Queen. She and the captain make a deal. They will convince Goliath to temporarily remove the Gargoyles from the castle. Lochter will sack it and take away the humans as slaves, leaving the empty castle for Demona, Goliath and the rest of the Gargoyles.
Goliath screws up the plan by refusing to take all the Gargoyles away. Captain says, no problem. He'll sabotage his archers and the attack can take place during the day. He promises to protect the frozen Gargoyles.
Demona agrees, but just before dawn she gets nervous and flies away to hide.
She returns at some point (though Goliath won't see her). She sees the destroyed 'goyles and realizes that Goliath would never forgive that. She flies away to find a new life. Somehow, she will survive into the twentieth century, by which time, she will be bitter and evil and Goliath's worst enemy.
Which again raises the question, are we sure we don't want her teaming up with Xavier in parts 2-5?]

SPELL OPTIONS
For initial spell that Wizard casts upon Old One, Trio and Dog in anger...
1) Frozen in stone for 1000 years.
2) Frozen in stone 'til castle rests in the clouds.
3) Frozen in stone so long as this castle stands on this ground.

For spell Wizard casts upon Goliath, as the best he can do for him.
1) Same, or maybe the slight variation of 999 years, giving Goliath a headstart, and an ability to see if it's safe.
2) Same.
3) Same.
4) He will continue his endless cycle of sleeping as stone in day, guarding the castle and his friends at night until either 1), 2) or 3) occurs.

Advantages and Disadvantages to various choices:
The main question, is whether or not Goliath has been awake and alone every night for a thousand years. (Goliath option 4)). If he has, it would allow him to be at least passingly familiar that modern technology exists. I.e. when we get him to NYC and he sees an airplane, he won't think it's a dragon. Plus there's the tragedy of that much loneliness. And the possiblity down the road of one or two flashback episodes (Goliath fights in WWII or something). Disadvantages include that it adds a layer of complication to the spell. And maybe we like the idea that he thinks an airplane is a dragon. (Although keep in mind, we can always play those beats with the other 'goyles.)

As to the other gargoyles, the main issue is when do you want them to wake up. If it's not until after the castle is installed at the top of the skyscraper, than option 3) doesn't work. 1000 years makes a nice round number, but is it a stiff coincidence that the 1000 years ends in NYC? Probably no more so than the Castle in the Clouds curse, though the latter may have more ambience.

And again, if we want Goliath awake BEFORE the castle arrives in NYC, i.e. on the boat, than we have to vary the spell with him to some degree or else it won't be possible.

GENERAL NOTES
Finally, the following combines (in as coherent a form as I could manage) the General Notes of all concerned.

--First off, I raised the issue of the stone/day - alive/night rule and the problems it can potentially cause. The consensus was an acknowledgement of the difficulty, but a real desire to keep that element. Gary, in particular, felt very strongly that it was one of the main appeals to the concept: an automatic ticking clock to every story, kryptonite, etc.

--Though we all agree that the ECLIPSE would make a great episode some day, we're very concerned about establishing the gargoyle rules here in the first part. We don't want to confuse the issue with an eclipse.

--We want to keep the story largely from Goliath's point of view. His problems. His tragedies.

--The-not-yet-named-Hudson is Goliath's aide and advisor. He is NOT a babysitter to the kids. In fact, if Goliath requested him to act as babysitter, he'd probably refuse. From his point of view, Goliath's the gargoyle-master, and the kids are his responsibility.

--Anyway, we'd like to establish the kids independence from the get-go, to help establish them as being more teen-age in nature than real young. They don't need a chaperone.

--We also felt strongly that the castle should be home to both the gargoyles and the humans in 994 A.D. We discussed the following back-back-story as rationale:

Long before 994, there was a gargoyle rookery high on a rocky promintory overlooking the sea. Medieval man sought out these rookeries as prime real estate for building their fortresses or castles. For one reason, the cliffside protected there backs, and the only accessible wall was easily manned by archers, etc. Secondly, medieval man knew that the gargoyles were instinctively territorial and protective of the rookery's inhabitants, whether those inhabitants were gargoyles or humans. If the humans of the castle could put up and co-exist with the gargoyles they'd have a built in group of warriors at night. And it was mutually beneficial: the gargoyles received human protection during the day.
Though not as rare in Europe as, say, the giraffe, even then Gargoyles and their rookeries were scarce. A castle-builder who couldn't find one to build on might carve stone gargoyles to fool and thus scare away would-be attackers. (Back then everyone knew about gargoyles.)
But our castle in Scotland was built on a rookery. And the gargoyles and humans have coexisted there for years. But as our story opens, relations are tense. Humanity as a race is taking on airs. To the humans, the gargoyles are uncouth. Grotesque. Ill-mannered. Nocturnal, and therefore noisey at night when humans are trying to sleep. Considered, at best, a necessary evil.

That's it.

More work on the pilot...

In January of 1993, we were still working with our first writer (two previous to Michael Reaves) on the outline for our pilot. We weren't quite seeing things eye-to-eye. No one's fault. Just a few creative differences of opinion.

GARGOYLES 1-19-93
Notes for 1st Part of 5-part Outline

The following combines (in as coherent a form as I could manage) the notes of all concerned.

First off, I raised the issue of the stone/day - alive/night rule and the problems it can potentially cause. The consensus was an acknowledgement of the difficulty, but a real desire to keep that element. Gary [Krisel], in particular, felt very strongly that it was one of the main appeals to the concept: an automatic ticking clock to every story, kryptonite, etc.

We also felt strongly that the castle should be home to both the gargoyles and the humans in 994 A.D. We discussed the following back-back-story as rationale:

Long before 994, there was a gargoyle rookery high on a rocky promintory overlooking the sea. Medieval man sought out these rookeries as prime real estate for building their fortresses or castles. For one reason, the cliffside protected there backs, and the only accessible wall was easily manned by archers, etc. Secondly, medieval man knew that the gargoyles were instinctively territorial and protective of the rookery's inhabitants, whether those inhabitants were gargoyles or humans. If the humans of the castle could put up and co-exist with the gargoyles they'd have a built in group of warriors at night. It was mutually beneficial. The gargoyles received human protection during the day.
Though not as rare in Europe as, say, the giraffe, even then Gargoyles and their rookeries were scarce. A castle-builder who couldn't find one to build on might carve stone gargoyles to fool and thus scare away would-be attackers. (Back then everyone knew about gargoyles.)
But our castle in Scotland was built on a rookery. And the gargoyles and humans have coexisted there for years. But as our story opens, relations are tense. Humanity as a race is taking on airs. To the humans, the gargoyles are uncouth. Grotesque. Ill-mannered. Nocturnal, and therefore noisey at night when humans are trying to sleep. Considered, at best, a necessary evil.

OTHER GENERAL NOTES:
Though we all agree that the ECLIPSE would make a great episode some day, we're very concerned about establishing the gargoyle rules here in the first part. We don't want to confuse the issue with an eclipse.

We want to keep the story largely from Goliath's point of view. His problems. His tragedies.

The-not-yet-named-Hudson is Goliath's aide and advisor. He is NOT a babysitter to the kids. In fact, if Goliath requested him to act as babysitter, he'd probably refuse. From his point of view, Goliath's the gargoyle-master, and the kids are his responsibility. Anyway, we'd like to establish the kids independence from the get-go, to help establish them as being more teen-age in nature than real young. They don't need a chaperone.

Sold...

Although the Eighth Draft of the Pitch was far from final, by December of 1992, we had finally sold Eisner on doing the Gargoyles series. We quickly (before anyone could change their minds) began work on the pilot multi-parter.

Keep in mind, this was before Michael Reaves or Frank Paur came aboard. This was even before I knew that I'd be producing the series. But I suppose I should have known. We received an outline from a writer, which wasn't bad but wasn't the series I wanted to make. So I tried to redirect things. You can see below that I'm still floundering around with a whole bunch of different thoughts. But the pieces are starting to come together.

GARGOYLES 12-4-92
Notes on 5-part Outline

GENERAL NOTES

--We want to stick closer to the original pitch. Keep the story solidly from Goliath's point of view, with his relationship with Elisa as the central emotional arc.

--We want to clarify what a Gargoyle is and what the "rules" are:
1. Gargoyles were not created by an individual. One thousand years ago, they were real living creatures, a now extinct race that even then was scarce.
2. Gargoyles are nocturnal. At sun-up they transform into stone statues as a protective measure. Theoretically, there may be some magic involved, but from a gargoyle's P.O.V. it's a natural biological process.
3. They cannot wake up at will. They cannot turn back and forth from stone at will. Daytime, they are sleeping. Frozen in stone. That makes them fairly protected, though if someone took a sledgehammer to them, it would kill them. At night they are not stone, they are strong and powerful, and they can fly, etc. But they are not invulnerable.
4. Gargoyles don't have any special instinct or telepathy for danger. What they do have, instinctively, is a territorial and protective nature. Up to this current story, that never extended beyond the castle walls. One of our main objectives is for Elisa to give Goliath a wider definition of his territory...extending it across all of Manhattan (all of NYC?). She gives him hope and a revived sense of purpose.
5. Naming is a human trait. The medieval humans deal w/Goliath so he gets a name. The others have none until they get to the twentieth century, when Elisa encourages/insists on it. Then they pick their names.

CHARACTERS
--We have to know and sympathize w/Goliath much sooner on in the story. We should largely see it through his eyes. His concern for Elisa should drive the latter half of the story, much more than any desire to foil a crime.

--The absolute key to this is the relationship between Goliath and Elisa. We need to develop this slowly. She's got to get used to him in a big way, and for his part, he's not comfortable around humans, and definitely unused to human kindness. He's awkward. Maybe even stunned. We don't have to play it for romance, per se. Even friendship from a human is a foreign concept.

--Hudson is an ex-gargoyle warrior, long past his prime, who now acts as Goliath's advisor. He tends to knock around the castle. Maybe, he likes television. He is not and would refuse to act as a baby-sitter for the younger kids. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. Goliath is the Gargoyle-Master. The other gargoyles are HIS responsibility, not Hudson's.

--We'd like to play the younger Gargoyles (Broadway, Brooklyn and Lex) more as teens than little kids. Very eager to explore the new world as you have it, but with a more adventurous sensibility.

--Bronx, the gargoyle-dog does not have wings. His ears allow him to hover a bit for short periods of time. But it's hard. (Keep in mind, he has a weighted tail, like a mace.) He can't really fly. He CAN scurry all over the place, up straight vertical walls, across the ceiling, etc. He has claws that really allow him to dig in.

--Our fault, but we don't think the Bannister character is adding anything. We can probably drop him.

--Xavier needs to be much more imposing. Not bordering on broke. Though obviously, he's not in Goliath's league in terms of brute strength, underneath that three-piece suit he should be a powerful man. As men goes, he should be very strong. And brilliant. On the surface, a rich powerful man, but underneath with his hand in all-things nefarious. He should not be petulant. He should always feel menacing threatening. If, at the end, we do send him to prison, we should not weaken or reduce him. He should go off like Al Capone, with an attitude like "You don't expect prison walls to stop me, do you?"

--We don't necessarily have to use the Gladiator-esque PACK, but if we do, we should keep their strengths clear in mind. The television aspect is a front, but one we might need to see in order to understand why the public regards them as good guys. Since clearly, no single member could be as strong as Goliath, their strength lies in the pack mentality. Goliath tosses one aside, their are five others leaping on top of him, etc. Also keep in mind, that our toughest pack members as they were originally designed were probably Wolf, Jackal and Hyena. Dingo, Fox and Coyote were never designed to be very threatening on their own. Another possiblility might be the SCARAB CORP. Robots from the pitch. (Scarab could also be a division of Xavier Enterprises.) However, feel free to create new villains or a different threat.

PART ONE
We want to get to know Goliath right away. Preferably, all the beats we played in the pitch.
1. He and his fellow Gargoyle warriors defend the castle from "barbarians". We establish his territorial and protective nature.
2. For their pains, they get no thanks or even kindness. Humans look at them as necessary evil.
3. Goliath spends his time reading and keeping the younger Gargoyles out of trouble.
4. We might want to plant a seed for the Demona character here. Establish her as the gargoyle he cares for the most.
5. Also establish Hudson, his advisor, and the younger gargoyles.
6. Goliath and Hudson are sent or lured away from the castle (perhaps by Demona, though the viewers don't have to know she betrayed them). They do not get back before sunrise.
7. The trio of younger gargoyles chase Bronx down into some hidden dungeon. At daybreak they are frozen their.
8. During that day the castle is overrun and sacked.
9. When Goliath and Hudson return that night, Goliath is horrified to discover that the rest of his Gargoyles have been destroyed. Someone took the equivalent of a sledge hammer to them during the day. Demona, his love, is probably part of the rubble. (We don't have to revisit her in the five parter. She can be an element of the tragedy of Goliath. We can bring her back in an episode if this goes to series).
10. Bronx and the younger Gargoyles survived, because they were hidden from the attackers.
11. It may be stronger for Goliath not to be cursed into a thousand year sleep. He takes responsiblity for the disaster. Hudson and the others are cursed to sleep "Until the castle rests in the clouds." (I.e., theoretically, until kingdom come.) Goliath is forced to guard them (the last of his race) alone for a thousand years. This means that he won't be totally ignorant of planes and cars etc. He's seen them over the years. And it might increase his tragedy. At any rate, we don't want to bring up the issue of exorcisms. Dangerous ground.

PARTS TWO - FIVE
1. Let's keep in mind that the whole castle is moved to New York. It can be dismantled, but the human focus should be on moving this castle to the top of the skyscraper. The gargoyles are nothing more than decoration to the humans.
2. There's probably something to Goliath being on a castle top in Scotland one night. Falling asleep and waking up crated in the bowels of a ship, the next night. But we probably want to go for a more dramatic problem than him leading them with a lamp.
3. The other gargoyles, Hudson and Bronx included, don't wake up until the first night after they are installed on top of the castle in the clouds. They've gone from riding a parapet a 100 feet above the ground, to the top of this mega-story skyscraper. It's a pretty hefty transition for them.
4. Art thefts and Bank thefts aren't nearly as crucial as putting Elisa in danger and involved in the case. That's what brings Goliath in. Perhaps we should open with her undercover, infiltrating Xavier's organization. Perhaps that leads her to the Pack training grounds or some other aspect of Xavier's operation. Make her a vital and integral part of the Xavier story. Not simply on the trail of it. And though we don't want to make her helpless, we do need to put her in jeopardy.
5. We're not sure what the red herring of blaming the gargoyles for Xavier's crimes buys us. Not opposed to it, but does it just force us into awkward moments? Lots of talk about guys in gargoyle suits. That's not really a major issue for the series.

Trying again to sell the thing...

Well, if you've been following the early nineties adventures of Greg Weisman and his development staff, you've watched him fail to sell Gargoyles TWICE. First as a comedy. Then as a drama. Now (October, 1992) we were preparing to try again. Again as a drama. We liked the show we had developed, so we weren't actually planning on redeveloping it a third time. We simply wanted to rework the pitch, which mostly meant SHORTENING it.

Now, finally, Goliath sleeps for a thousand years.

GARGOYLES PITCH Reduced Eighth Pass (Weisman / 10-21-92)

A. Trio of typical stone GARGOYLES.

"We all think we know what GARGOYLES are. Ugly, stone statues squatting on the roofs of old buildings. But there was a time, one thousand years ago, when gargoyles were real, living creatures. During the day, they slept...frozen in stone."

B. GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER. Proud and Noble.

"But when the sun went down, GOLIATH, the GARGOYLE-MASTER would lead his gargoyle-warriors in defense of the king's castle."

C. Goliath reading in library, sitting on small gargoyles.

"And if there was no battle to be fought, he'd retreat to the library to read and learn, all the while making sure that the other gargoyles stayed out of trouble."

D. HUMANS scorning the Gargoyles.

"For all these efforts, Goliath received no reward, no thanks or even kindness. In fact, the people of the castle treated all gargoyles with nothing but contempt."

E. The Gargoyle-Master alone in the throneroom.

"Still Goliath could no more stop guarding the castle than breathing the air. It's part of a gargoyle's nature to be territorial, protective. And so for years, he maintained his lonely vigil. Then one night, Goliath was betrayed and lured away from his post."

F. SORCEROR curses Goliath and the other gargoyles on the castle ramparts.

"The castle was overrun and sacked. Goliath and the surviving gargoyles were unfairly blamed. The kingdom's SORCEROR laid a curse upon them, and they fell into a stone sleep--that lasted a thousand years."

G. Castle on the skyscraper.

"New York City, 1994. A rich and powerful man has decided there's a better place for a medieval castle than a picturesque hill in Scotland. He's moved the whole place--lock, stock and gargoyle--to the top of the tallest skyscraper in Manhattan."

H. Police Detective ELISA REED.

"All of which means nothing to New York City Police Detective, ELISA REED. Castles and curses don't even enter her mind. She's hot on the trail of a major badguy."

I. She's ambushed on a rooftop by multiple THUGS. She's got the drop on most of them. But someone's about to nail her from behind. (And from another rooftop, someTHING is watching in the shadows.)

"Too bad that trail leads her right into an ambush. But thank goodness, a shadowy figure sees what's happening and decides to help."

J. Reveal THE GARGOYLE, determined, as he dives into fray from above.

"Thank goodness for THE GARGOYLE. When you're as strong as Goliath, benchpressing two badguys is easy. And that stone-like hide of his makes him practically invulnerable."

K. Romantic shot in moonlight. Close in. She reaches up to touch his face gently. He looks handsome and noble and just a bit uncomfortable and sad.

"...To everything but Elisa's kindness. She is the first human being who's ever offered him understanding and friendship, hope..."

L. From atop the skyscraper, she shows him Manhattan. The city as fortress. This is our showpiece card.

"...And a sense of purpose. Because by nature, a gargoyle protects his home from 'barbarians at the gate'. And Goliath's new home, Manhattan, has its fair share of barbarians."

M. HUDSON. (One pose, plus two headshots.)

"Fortunately, our hero doesn't have to face them alone. This is Goliath's old friend HUDSON, a Gargoyle-Warrior long past his prime. Hudson helps out by keeping an eye on the young Gargoyles-in-training..."

N. Trio of young Gargoyles, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. Same as card 1. (But in color, perhaps?)

"...BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON and BROADWAY. (Uh, they picked their own names.)"

O. BRONX, the DOG. (Multiple poses.)

"And then there's BRONX, the angst-ridden Gargoyle-dog. Bronx doesn't like adventure. Doesn't like new technology."

P. Bronx (two poses) chewing on a fire hydrant and flying.

"He just likes to eat a lot, sleep a lot and make a general mess."

Q. Trio uses Bronx to play trick on Hudson.

"All in all, it's a lot for Hudson to handle."

R. Goliath and Elisa try to be inconspicuous on the Subway.

"Not that Goliath has it any easier. It's hard for a seven-foot medieval monster to squeeze into the modern world."

S. Interior of Gargoyle lair.

"Sometimes he just needs to retreat back to the old castle and let time stand still. Of course that can be tough too. Particularly when you're constantly facing yet another bizarre and dangerous criminal of the night..."

T. Stone version of our Gargoyle. Looking vicious and scary. Daylight.

"And the night is all that matters, because the gargoyles still sleep as stone statues during the day, finding an outdoor ledge just before sunrise and striking a pose that could give you nightmares."

U. Night. Goliath, handsome and noble again, on top of a skyscraper with the full moon, Elisa and the other Gargoyles right behind him. Gothic mood, but clearly set in the present.

"But when the sun goes down, they're our only protection from the city's dark terrors. They are the GARGOYLES."

V. KID at Disneyland.

"Joining the Disney Family in 1994."