A Station Eight Fan Web Site


The Phoenix Gate

Search Ask Greg

Search type:

Displaying 1 record.

Bookmark Link

SuperMartian89 writes...

I saw this quote and immediately thought of Superboy and Miss Martian.

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ...Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for."

Do you agree?

Greg responds...

I don't actually. So let's break it down.

*My wife is amazing, and getting along with her was easy from the first moment we spoke together.

*I suppose it depends what one means by "easy", but by any definition easy does not mean that it won't be amazing.

*Is she's worth it, it's good not to give up - unless she's made it clear that she's not interested. Then you should give up and move on. Or else you're a stalker.

*If you give up, you might indeed be unworthy. But this SO depends on the circumstances. You might be the better man for giving up.

*Truth is, NOT everybody is going to hurt you - not in a significant way. You'd definitely be better off with folks who don't hurt you.

*No relationship is perfect, but if you're actually 'suffering', then I'd have my doubts that person is worth it.

Basically, I don't believe in the kinds of absolute statements this quotation is making. (I'd be nearly as suspicious if it said the exact opposite in the same absolutist manner. Nearly.) Worse, I think the statement suggests a romantic view of love through conflict which is antithetical to my actual personal experience.

Instead, here's my advice: The best lover/spouse/etc. you can find is one who is also your best friend. And friends don't make friends suffer. Or drive drunk. Etc.

Response recorded on May 07, 2013