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G2008 Radio Play (Chapter IX)

Stone STANDS.

237. NARRATOR
12:18AM. LANTERN OF THE ABBEY. Arthur opens the transport container to look upon the Stone of Destiny. Chapter Nine: Rock of Ages. 1:06AM GMT. Arthur listens to the glowing Stone.

238. STONE
…Pointless, Arthur Pendragon, to waste time protecting any particular stone…

Stone sits.

239. NARRATOR
1:31AM. VICTORIA TOWER. Arthur, Macbeth, Hudson, Lex, Amp, Griff, Coco, Coldstone and Coldfire confer.

240. ARTHUR
Perhaps… perhaps this is all unnecessary. I don’t think we need to guard the stone.

Macbeth, Arthur, Hudson, Lexington, Amp, Coco, Griff, Coldstone & Coldfire sit. Coldsteel & Coyote STAND.

241. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 6:16AM. LEITH. Coyote and Coldsteel stand side-by-side inside a warehouse.

242. COYOTE
No, I am not programmed for free will…

243. COLDSTEEL
Pity. You have potential…

COLDSTREAM GUARD, Macbeth, Xanatos, Coldstone & Coldfire STAND.

244. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 10:02AM. A Coldstream Guard holds up a hand to stop a transport convoy from driving onto Coldstream Bridge.

245. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Get the bomb unit! Now!!

246. MACBETH
Macbeth to Coldstone: convoy’s stopped, and Xanatos is here.

247. XANATOS
Well, it’s a momentous occasion… and such a lovely day…

248. MACBETH
Safe to say he’s up to something.

249. COLDSTONE
Yes, safe to say.

250. NARRATOR
Coldstone and Coldfire intercept Coldsteel and Coyote heading for the Bridge.

251. COLDFIRE
Hold, brother!

252. COLDSTEEL
Hold, sister!

253. NARRATOR
Coldsteel’s tentacles grab Coldfire, forcing her arms up so that she nearly FRIES Coldstone.

254. COLDSTEEL
As you see, I’ve had time to mend my ways. Well, my appendages…

255. COLDSTONE
Release her! <pain cry>

256. NARRATOR
Coldstone’s back is raked by Coyote’s buzzsaw-arm.

257. COLDSTEEL
Now that we’re machines, don’t you love these exhilarating daytime battles…? No nasty organic gargoyles to even the odds…

258. NARRATOR
Coldfire HEAD BUTTS Coldsteel violently. His tentacles release her.

259. COLDFIRE
Consider the odds evened.

260. COLDSTEEL
A t-t-temporary s-s-setback…

261. COLDFIRE
Then let’s make it permanent.

262. COYOTE
Out of David’s respect for Goliath, I am programmed to inflict only as much damage as necessary to reach our objective. But I define the parameters of “necessary”.

263. COLDSTONE
Define this.

264. NARRATOR
Coldstone’s fist SHATTERS the half-Xanatos/half-robot skull image on Coyote’s screen. Coldstone shoves his forearm cannon down Coyote’s “throat” and fires. Coyote EXPLODES! The dented Coldsteel watches the wreckage of Coyote fall toward the RIVER TWEED below.

265. COLDSTEEL
P-p-pity. He had p-p-potential…

266. NARRATOR
Coldsteel POWER-DIVES down into the river. Coldstone follows but can find no sign of Coldsteel.

Coyote & Coldsteel sit.

267. NARRATOR
10:12AM GMT. COLDSTREAM BRIDGE. Xanatos stands between Macbeth and Arthur. A Marching Band plays. Xanatos presses a small one-button remote. Inside the Land Rover, the Stone’s metal transport container is strapped to the floor of the cargo space â€" which FLIPS over, so that the real container is replaced by a DUPLICATE (with a duplicate stone inside).

268. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Hold it down! The Bomb Squad’s at work!

269. NARRATOR
10:38AM GMT. The Guard signals the convoy forward.

270. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Right, we’re clear. Not a bomb. Just an empty shoebox.

271. COLDSTONE
Coldstone to Macbeth. We’ve lost Coldsteel.

272. MACBETH
Just stay on the alert…

273. COLDSTREAM GUARD
Let’s go! We’re behind schedule!

274. MACBETH
The Stone’s on the move again.

Coldstream Guard, Macbeth, Xanatos, Coldfire & Coldstone sit. Thailog & Shari STAND.

275. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 5:43AM EST. NIGHTSTONE UNLIMITED.

276. THAILOG
Check.

277. SHARI
The story is told â€" though who can say if it be true â€" that on a clear Christmas night, a band of Scottish patriots broke into Westminster Abbey to steal the Stone and in the process broke it in two!

Thailog & Shari sit. Arthur & Macbeth STAND.

278. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 12:00PM GMT. EDINBURGH CASTLE.

279. ARTHUR
Well?

280. MACBETH
The Stone’s back where it belongs! Well, it belongs in Scone, but at least it’s back in Scotland.

Macbeth & Arthur sit. Stone & Xanatos STAND.

281. NARRATOR
A land rover from the convoy drives past Macbeth and Arthur. 12:36PM. LEITH. The Land Rover pulls into a non-descript warehouse and stops in front of a smiling Xanatos. 1:06PM. Xanatos listens to the glowing Stone.

282. STONE
…Pointless, David Xanatos, to substitute yet another stone to fool the Illuminati…

Stone sits. Coldsteel STANDS.

283. NARRATOR
2:23PM. Coldsteel dumps pieces of Coyote shrapnel on the floor.

284. COLDSTEEL
There’s what’s left of your boy… and here’s your rock.

285. NARRATOR
Coldsteel tosses the Coyote Diamond to Xanatos.

286. XANATOS
Oh, I’m just its minder.

287. COLDSTEEL
I believe that completes our bargain…

288. XANATOS
Indeed. Consider your tracking device deactivated.

289. COLDSTEEL
Pleasure doing business with you.

Coldsteel sits. FLEUR STANDS.

290. NARRATOR
3:59PM.

291. XANATOS
Thirty-six.

292. FLEUR
Three. <pause> Any problems?

293. XANATOS
Only finding a duplicate on such short notice.

294. NARRATOR
4:04PM. Behind the wheel of the Land Rover, Fleur drives through Leith. Fog rises, until the street is barely visible. The fog forms into Castle Carbonek. The Land Rover drives across the drawbridge into a large cobblestone courtyard.

DUVAL STANDS.

295. DUVAL
Finally. Two.

296. FLEUR
Bugger off.

297. DUVAL
I still outrank you, milady. I won’t tolerateâ€"

PEREDUR STANDS.

298. PEREDUR
Couldn’t you both try to get along? Since you are, after all, the two people I love most in this world?

299. FLEUR
I brought the Stone.

Fleur, Duval & Peredur sit. Macbeth, Griff, Amp, LUNETTE, Coldstone & Hudson STAND.

300. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 15, 8:13PM. KNIGHT’S SPUR.

301. MACBETH
I know it doesn’t matter, but I’m glad the Stone’s back in Scotland.

302. GRIFF
You lot should stay a while. Get to know the clan…

303. AMP
Yeah, mates, stay!

304. LUNETTE
Please!

305. COLDSTONE
But Coldsteel is still out there…

306. HUDSON
Aye, lad, but it’s a mighty big world, and even the banished and the badduns eventually return to the clan.

Macbeth, Griff, Amp, Lunette, Coldstone & Hudson sit. Stone, Peredur & GRAIL STAND.

307. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 16, 1:06AM. CASTLE CARBONEK. A frowning Peredur listens to the glowing stone.

308. STONE
…Pointless, Peredur fab Ragnal, to have gone to such extremes merely to possess… a rock.

309. NARRATOR
On APRIL 11, 1951, 1:07AM at ARBROATH ABBEY, on NOVEMBER 15, 1:07PM in a warehouse in LEITH, on NOVEMBER 15, 1:07AM in the LANTERN OF THE ABBEY, and on NOVEMBER 16, 1:07AM inside CASTLE CARBONEK, Macbeth, Xanatos, Arthur and Peredur listen to the glowing Stone of Destiny.

310. STONE
Do you think the Spirit of Destiny can be contained in one vessel? I am the Fatal Stone. The Lia Fáil. The Stone of Bethel and Jerusalem, of Egypt, Samothrace and Portugal… The Stone at Tara and of Mora, at Iona and of Scone, in London and in Edinburgh… I am the Blarney Stone, the Coronation Stone, the Hero Stone… I am the Pillar Stone, the Stone of the Sword, the Stone of the Waters, Clach-na-Cinneamhain… The Tanist Stone, the Philosopher’s Stone, the Standing Stone, the Cornerstone… The Foundation Stone, the Megalith Dance, the Burden of Sisyphus… I am the Rock of Gibraltar, the Pillar of Hercules, Uluru, Clach Sgàin… Jacob’s Pillow, the Rosetta Stone, the Rune Stone, Sire of the Wyrd… I AM THE MANTLE OF FATE… I AM THE STONE OF DESTINY… I AM THE ROCK OF AGES! Do not dream of possessing me, mortal.

311. NARRATOR

NOVEMBER 16, 1:07AM. CASTLE CARBONEK. Behind Peredur, Fleur listens from the doorway.

312. STONE
Besides, Peredur, don’t you have more important matters of concern… now that your Master has awakened?

313. PEREDUR
What?! King Arthur cannot be awake?!

314. STONE
Awake and returned. I have twice conversed with him.

315. PEREDUR
But we did not expect him for another two hundred years! Everything we planned--

316. STONE
Plans change.

317. PEREDUR
I must contact the Upper Echelons immediately!

318. NARRATOR
Peredur exits. Fleur is no longer in the doorway. The Stone is left alone with the Holy Grail.

319. STONE
Hey.

320. GRAIL
Hey.

Peredur, Stone & Grail sit. Thailog & Shari STAND.

321. NARRATOR
NOVEMBER 16, 5:44AM EST. NIGHTSTONE UNLIMITED.

322. THAILOG
Checkmate.

323. SHARI
Very good. Should I continue?

324. THAILOG
Please.

325. SHARI
The story is told â€" though who can say if it be true â€" that the Stone was repaired and recovered. Some say a replica was reinstalled at Westminster; others disagree. Either way, the Stone remained undisturbed until yesterday, when it was transported to Edinburgh without incident…

326. THAILOG
And that’s all you know of the Stone of Destiny?

327. SHARI
Well, one last story is told--

328. NARRATOR
As the sun sets, Owen Burnett and Macbeth wait for Goliath to wake…

329. SHARI
--Though who can say if it be true?

Thailog & Shari sit.

THE END