G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act Two

BIG MAN STANDS.

247. NARRATOR
Act Two. The Big Man of Crime enters his offices, but finds he’s not alone…

248. BIG MAN
You spend so much time here, I’ll need to buy you your own chair. So you’ll stay out of mine.

Green Goblin STANDS.

249. GREEN GOBLIN
Surprised to see me?

250. BIG MAN
Not particularly.

251. GREEN GOBLIN
Then you won’t be surprised to learn I’m still running things…

252. BIG MAN
If you can run them from a hospital bed…

253. NARRATOR
Catching Gobby off guard, Lincoln punches him right through the window…

254. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact grunt>

255. NARRATOR
The goblin-glider swoops in and catches the Goblin, who pulls out a Pumpkin Bomb.

PUMPKIN BOMB STANDS.

256. GREEN GOBLIN
Ever the gracious host. And ever the gracious guest, the Goblin must show his appreciation. Here. I brought a gift.

257. NARRATOR
Gobby throws his “gift”, but Goliath swoops in, catches it and throws it back.

Goliath and Spider-Man STAND.

258. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

259. GREEN GOBLIN
<impact>

260. NARRATOR
Not far away…

261. SPIDER-MAN
No, no, no, no, no… I was hoping I’d never hear that trademark Pumpkin Bomb shriek again…

262. NARRATOR
Spidey swings in to find Goliath and a recovering Gobby together…

263. SPIDER-MAN
So that’s what these gargoyles are… more of the Goblin’s Halloween creations…

264. NARRATOR
Spidey swings into action against Goliath.

265. GOLIATH, SPIDER-MAN
<ad-lib battle sounds>

266. GOLIATH
The Bugle was right about you: you are a threat and a menace!

267. SPIDER-MAN
Wait, you can talk? And read?! And what you read is the Jolly One’s editorials?!

268. GREEN GOBLIN
I know I should assassinate Mr. Lincoln. But I’m so enjoying the show. Really, someone should make more Gargoyles. I know: I’ll call Walt Disney.

Green Goblin, Spider-Man, Goliath, Pumpkin Bomb and Big Man sit. ANGELA, BROOKLYN, BROADWAY and LEXINGTON STAND.

269. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, atop the Eyrie Building, Brooklyn, Lexington and Broadway watch Angela playing with Brooklyn’s son Nashville…

270. ANGELA
That’s great, Nashville. This time try the axe…

271. BROADWAY
Wow, Angela looks so adorable playing with Gnash. I mean, Gnash is cute too…

272. BROOKLYN
Thanks. I know he hatched in another decade, but Katana and I discussed it, and we want the whole clan to be Gnash and Egwardo’s Rookery parents…

273. BROADWAY
We’d be honored…

274. LEXINGTON
I still can’t quite take it all in. I go to Britain for a few weeks, and everything changes…

275. BROADWAY
At least you were gone for weeks. Try adjusting in forty seconds.

276. BROOKLYN
Hey, I had forty years to get ready for this, and it’s still strange…

277. LEXINGTON
But, dude. You’re so… old.

278. BROOKLYN
Thanks.

279. LEXINGTON
Older than Goliath.

280. BROOKLYN
Yeah.

281. LEXINGTON
Almost Hudson’s age.

282. BROOKLYN
I get it. I’m old.

283. LEXINGTON
It’s not that. Everything about you is different.

284. BROOKLYN
Oh, come on…

285. BROADWAY
No, he’s right. The way you talk. The way you move. All those weapons you carry now. It’s like you’ve outgrown us.

286. BROOKLYN
That’s not fair. I can’t tell you how much I missed you both.

287. LEXINGTON
We get that. And we’re not mad. But…

288. BROOKLYN
Look, this isn’t all on me. As I recall, things were already changing. Broadway spent all his time with Angela.

289. BROADWAY
Not all my time.

290. LEXINGTON
Uh… pretty much.

291. BROADWAY
Yeah, well, you’re practically on the internet non-stop.

292. LEXINGTON
It’s addictive! Do you know they have porn on that thing? There’s this one website, Blue Mug Prodâ€"

293. BROOKLYN
I don’t wanna know. The point is we’ve all gone through some changes. That’s just life.

294. BROADWAY
I guess our Three Musketeer days are over…

295. LEXINGTON
Yeah…

Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

296. ZAFIRO
Gargoyles of Manhattan!

297. OBSIDIANA
We need you’re help!

298. NARRATOR
At just that moment, the sun rises, turning Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Angela and Gnash to stone. Obsidiana and Zafiro are unaffected, thanks to their mystic Mayan pendants.

299. ZAFIRO
Mierda.

300. OBSIDIANA
Nuestro cronometraje apesta hoy.

Obsidiana, Zafiro, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Angela sit. Spider-Man, Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

301. NARRATOR
Across town, Goliath also turns to stone.

302. SPIDER-MAN
What the heck?!

303. GREEN GOBLIN
Well, that was… unexpected.

304. SPIDER-MAN
All right, that’s enough. I know you’re not the real Gobby.

305. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes, yes, “It’s not the voice; it’s the words. Not the tech, but the moves.” I’ve heard it all before…

306. SPIDER-MAN
Then I know exactly who you really are: Chameleon!

307. GREEN GOBLIN
That would ease your conscience, wouldn’t it? To think I’m Chameleon â€" and not the ghost of the man you killed!

308. SPIDER-MAN
I don’t believe in ghosts.

309. GREEN GOBLIN
Then maybe you’d prefer I was the Spawn of Goblin.

310. SPIDER-MAN
Oh, you’d just love to shift the blame to Harry. Sorry, Gobby â€" I mean, Chammy â€" but we’ve been there, done that. Besides, no matter who you are, there hasn’t been time for the Globulin Green to kick in and truly Goblify you. So I’m gonna take you down now while you’re still just a cheap imitation.

311. GREEN GOBLIN
You could do that… or you could save stoneface over there.

312. NARRATOR
Gobby throws a pumpkin bomb at Goliath. Instinctively, Spidey webs it away…

313. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

Pumpkin Bomb and Green Goblin sit.

314. NARRATOR
By which time, the Goblin is gone, leaving a confused Spidey perched on Goliath’s head…

315. SPIDER-MAN
So in hindsight, I’m thinking maybe you weren’t part of the Gob-Squad, right?
(beat)
Fine. Stonewall me.

May STANDS.

316. NARRATOR
That morning in Forest Hills, Spidey sneaks in through his bedroom window, hoping to catch a few Zs.

317. MAY
Peter, are you awake.

318. PETER
Uh, sure Aunt May. Just getting dressed.

319. MAY
Well, hurry up. I’m… “conferencing” with all the other parents.

Robbie, ROSIE THOMPSON and George STAND.

320. ROBBIE
Are you sure you don’t mind, Mrs. Parker? Cuz I gotta say, what you’re proposing would be my worst nightmare.

321. MAY
<laughs> Oh, I don’t believe that for a minute, Mr. Robertson. It’s a joy to be around Peter and his friends. And I won’t be alone. Anna Watson and Mrs. Osborn will be with me.

322. ROSIE
Emily? She’s so… odd. I don’t think she’s ever said one word to me…

323. MAY
Well, I don’t know her very well, Rosie, but Harry is Peter’s best friend â€" no offense to your Eugene â€" so she must be doing something right.

324. ROSIE
May, you never change. Always seeing the best in people.

325. MAY
I’ll take that as a compliment, dear girl.

326. GEORGE
In any case, I’m glad to get Gwen out of Manhattan for a few days. The streets are looking pretty grim right about now.

327. MAY
Oh, I’m sure your officers will have things under control in no time.

328. PETER
Aunt May, what’s going on?

329. MAY
Oh, didn’t I tell you, Peter. I’m chaperoning your trip to Miami Beach!

330. PETER
Wow. Great.

Peter, May, George, Rosie and Robbie sit. Big Man and Dominique STAND.

331. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, back at L. Thompson Lincoln’s office…

332. BIG MAN
And how can I be of help, Ms. Destine.

333. DOMINIQUE
I think I can help you, Mr. Lincoln.

334. BIG MAN
What makes you think I need any help?

335. DOMINIQUE
Oh, little things. The shattered window, that unusual statue on the ledge outside…

336. BIG MAN
Point taken. How about you cut to the chase?

337. DOMINIQUE
Fine. Tony Dracon. Tomas Brod. Silvio Manfredi. All in jail. Hammerhead. Sable Manfredi. On the run. This gives you a unique opportunity to reclaim what was lost.

338. BIG MAN
I’m sure L. Thompson Lincoln has no idea what you’re talking about. But go on…

339. DOMINIQUE
You have three problems. Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and the government watching your every move.

340. BIG MAN
And you have the solution…

341. DOMINIQUE
I have the manpower. Three… “super-villains” to take down the competition and Dominic Dracon to use as a figurehead.

342. BIG MAN
The old man? I heard he was shy a few brain cells.

343. DOMINIQUE
It’s easy enough to spread the word he was faking insanity to avoid prosecution. And easy enough to assign him a keeper. Meanwhile, he’s a Dracon. And that name still carries weight, I believe.

344. BIG MAN
It does. But what would you want in exchange?

345. DOMINIQUE
Nothing extraordinary. Just the services of the Tinkerer.

346. BIG MAN
I believe that can be arranged.

347. DOMINIQUE
Lovely. But let’s not allow the moss to gather. You’ll want to move fast. Before the Octopus retrieves his arms…

Dominique and Big Man sit. SILVER SPOON MANAGER, Vulture, DOCTOR OCTOPUS and Electro STAND.

348. NARRATOR
The weather has turned cold. At the Silver Spoon, three men in trench coats and hats wait for their coffee.

349. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Sixty-nine!

350. VULTURE
Yes. Here.

351. NARRATOR
Vulture sits down with Electro and Doctor Octopus.

352. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Thank you, Adrian. Now. My arms?

353. VULTURE
In an OsCorp vault.

354. ELECTRO
At Rykers?!

355. VULTURE
<shhhhh> Not THE Vault. A vault. Still very high security, and the police are bound to expect our arrival, but…

356. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed. <sigh> OsCorp. Even in death, Norman Osborn torments me. But it cannot be helped. I must have my arms. We go in under cover of darkness tonight.

Doctor Octopus, Vulture and Electro sit. Silver Spoon Manager remains standing. Peter and Mary Jane STAND.

357. NARRATOR
The three men exit through one door. Two teenagers enter through another.

358. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy!

359. MARY JANE
Try to understand, Tiger. I just can’t do that to Gwen. She’s really become my best friend at Midtown.

360. PETER
But it’s not like we’d be making out or anything, right? Uh, right?

361. MARY JANE
Right.

362. PETER
Right, right. We’d be going as friends. Hanging out when the couples were … you know, coupling.

363. MARY JANE
And that would be great. But look at it from her point of view. She took all the risks, and you still wound up with Liz. There’s no way, she’d see me as anything but a threat. Wait, that sounded really conceited.

364. PETER
Have you looked in a mirror? Not conceited. Just fact.

365. MARY JANE
Ooh, nice one. Such a player.

366. PETER
Yeah, right. The world’s loneliest player.

367. MARY JANE
Stop it. I know you don’t want to hurt Gwen either. Not after all the two of you have been through.

368. PETER
Yeah… I wonder if Ms. Brant likes Miami. Kidding, kidding… Wow, pretty good. That was practically the Look.

369. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-One!

SEYMOUR O’REILLY stands.

370. PETER
So you’re just not going?

371. MARY JANE
Oh, I’m going. It’s 48 degrees outside and 82 in Miami. I asked Tiny to be my plus one.

372. PETER
Tiny?! Tiny McKeever?! The guy’s got the brain of an amoeba. He makes King Kong look like a genius. Hell, he makes Flash look like Stephen Hawking!

373. MARY JANE
(shrugs)
He’s cute.

374. PETER
<argggh> I just wish I could skip the whole thing. But Aunt May’s going, and after her heart attack, I really think she could use some fun in the sun--

375. SEYMOUR
Sorry to interrupt. Couldn’t help overhearing.

376. PETER
Oh, hey, Seymour.

377. SEYMOUR
Just wanted to let you know Harry invited me too. And I’m totally going stag. I mean who wants a ball and chain when Miami Beach is full of hotties, right?

378. PETER
Uh…

379. SEYMOUR
Just don’t expect to hang out, okay. You’d fully cramp my style.

380. PETER
Of course I would…

381. SILVER SPOON MANAGER
Seventy-two!!

Silver Spoon Manager, Peter, Seymour and Mary Jane sit. Dominique and TINKERER STAND.

382. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, the Tinkerer arrives at the Destine Mansion…

383. DOMINIQUE
You have the devices?

384. TINKERER
Five was all I could put together on short notice. Unless you want to bring Mysterio in…?

385. DOMINIQUE
Our stage is crowded enough. And five should do quite nicely.

Dominique and Tinkerer sit. May, Mary Jane, GREG BISHANSKY, Sally, Gwen, Harry, Kong, Rand, Flash, Liz, Jason, Peter and Seymour STAND.

386. NARRATOR
Later that afternoon, Harry’s rented a party bus, and the gang is en route to the airport, stuck in heavy traffic on the expressway. A very prepared May Parker has a clipboard…

387. MAY
All right, we have three adults and sixteen children â€" sorry, sixteen teenagers. That’s nineteen sojourners bound for Florida. So why did my headcount come to twenty?

388. MARY JANE
I think you counted the bus driver, Mrs. Parker.

389. MAY
Oh, that I did.

390. BISHANSKY
Hey, twist my arm! I’ll go to Miami with you guys!!

391. SALLY
Was anyone talking to you?

392. BISHANSKY
Uh… no.

393. SALLY
Then eyes front.

394. BISHANSKY
Eyes front.

395. GWEN
Harry, are you all right?

396. HARRY
I dunno. All this stopping and starting. My stomach’s a little queasy…

397. KONG
Dude. Does this bus rock or what?!

398. RAND
‘Scool.

399. FLASH
Damn right it’s cool. Wouldn’t mind taking this baby all the way to Florida.

400. SALLY
Excuse me?! It’s a bus.

401. LIZ
Sally’s right. We’re not ditching the private jet for a bus. Right, Jason?

402. JASON
Uh…

403. SALLY
Right.

404. PETER
It really is a very nice bus though.

405. BISHANSKY
Hey, I’m not offended. I still can’t believe the Osborns hired me again. The last time, I got in two-- <impact grunt>

406. SEYMOUR
Dude, you totally rear-ended that guy at the tollbooth!

407. BISHANSKY
Not again…

408. SALLY
Wonderful. Now, we’ll be stuck here forever!

409. MAY
Everybody stay calm.

410. HARRY
Ah, man, gotta use the john…

411. KONG
<laughs> I think Osborn’s gonna hurl!

412. SALLY
Oh. My. God! If my hair starts smelling like vomit, I’ll sue you for bus-driver malpractice!!

413. BISHANSKY
Sorry, sorry…

Bishansky, Sally, Kong, Harry, May, Seymour, Peter, Jason, Liz, Flash, Rand, Gwen and Mary Jane sit. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

414. NARRATOR
The sun sets. At the castle, the gargoyles awaken…

415. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY, LEXINGTON
<awakening roars>

416. BROOKLYN
You must be Zafiro.

417. ZAFIRO
How did you know?

418. BROOKLYN
Strong family resemblance.

419. ZAFIRO
¿Perdón?

420. BROOKLYN
Long story. Time travel. The future. A whole other spin-off. Two actually…

421. OBSIDIANA
We don’t have time for your “spin-offs”. ¿Donde esta Goliath?

422. BROADWAY
He didn’t sleep here.

423. LEXINGTON
But I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

Elisa STANDS.

424. ELISA
He’d better. We have trouble. Demona trouble.

425. OBSIDIANA
Elisa!

426. ELISA
Hi, Obsidiana. I’m betting you have trouble too…

Elisa, Obsidiana, Lexington, Broadway, Brooklyn and Zafiro sit. Kraven, Calypso, Curt and Gulyadkin STAND.

427. NARRATOR
And while the clan awaits Goliath’s return…

428. KRAVEN
It is time, Calypso.

429. CALYPSO
Yes. The forces gather. We can make this one our own.

430. CURT
I demand you let me go!

431. KRAVEN
Hold your tongue, American dog. Or Gulyadkin will hold it for you.

432. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

433. CALYPSO
Calm yourself… This change will not be difficult. The primitive bound within is barely skin-deep…

434. CURT
I-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.

435. CALYPSO
I think you do. You see my companion. The details may have been created in a laboratory…

436. KRAVEN
But the soul of the Hunter â€" the beast inside â€" was always my own.

437. CURT
What are doing with that doll?

438. CALYPSO
Turning it inside out.

439. CURT
Listen to me, please. Even if you can release the “beast inside”, you don’t want to! It can’t be controlled.

440. KRAVEN
<laughs> Nyet. Not by you perhaps. But my Calypso is not so easily trifled with.

441. CALYPSO
It is time…

442. CURT
Noooo!!!! <transformation scream>

443. NARRATOR
Curt Connors is transformed by Calypso’s magic into the Lizard.

444. LIZARD
<roar>

445. KRAVEN
Now… to the Hunt!

Kraven, LIZARD, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit. Obsidiana, Zafiro, Angela, Elisa, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn STAND.

446. NARRATOR
Back at the Castle, Goliath has returned, and the entire clan has gathered. Elisa’s revealed what she knows about Demona. Now, it’s Obsidiana’s turn…

447. OBSIDIANA
It came from somewhere further south. Two human smugglers carrying an object of great power through the Green…

448. ZAFIRO
My mate is sensitive to these things. We tracked them, but they boarded a jet airplane and were soon out of our reach.

449. OBSIDIANA
Pero still I could sense great forces gathering. I asked Jade and Turquesa to teach us the way to Avalon…

450. ZAFIRO
Gabriel says hello, by the way.

451. ANGELA
Oh, I miss him. How is he?

452. ELISA
Angela, honey, let’s stay on point. I take it Avalon sent you here.

453. OBSIDIANA
Yes. We nearly achieved the totem, but a ridiculous human dressed in red and blueâ€"

454. ELISA, GOLIATH (UNISON)
Spider-Man…

455. OBSIDIANA
He did spin webs like a spider. Though from his hands, not hisâ€"

456. ZAFIRO
Focus, mi amor.

457. OBSIDIANA
Lo siento. This Man-Spider, he interfered. The smugglers escaped again. Now, power builds on power, rising to a crescendo.

458. BROADWAY
And that’s bad, right?

459. NARRATOR
Elisa’s cellphone rings.

Matt STANDS.

460. ELISA
Maza.

461. MATT
It’s Matt. Something’s going down at the OsCorp vault off the Expressway. Most of the Taskforce is already here. Stacy and his men too. But I’m thinking we might need… “back-up”. Lots and lots of back-up.

462. ELISA
We’re on our way. Brooklyn, can Bronx and Fu-Dog baby-sit Egwardo?

463. BROOKLYN
Of course.

464. ELISA
Good. Because otherwise it’s all hands on deck.

Elisa, Brooklyn, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath and Angela sit. George, Morgan and O’Neil STAND.

465. MATT
Okay, Captain. The rest of the Taskforce is on its way.

466. GEORGE
My men are deployed.

467. O’NEIL
And just in time! Cuz we got Gobby and his Pumpkin-Heads at 12 o’clock!

Green Goblin and Pumpkin Bomb STAND.

468. GREEN GOBLIN
Playtime!

469. PUMPKIN BOMB
<shriek>

470. MORGAN
And a gargoyle at 3 o’clock!

471. GEORGE
That’s not a gargoyle. That’s the Vulture!

Vulture STANDS.

472. VULTURE
You were right, Otto. The police were waiting. And the Goblin is here too. You don’t think it could actually be Osborn, still alive, do you?

Doctor Octopus and Electro STAND.

473. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Do not get distracted by old grudges, Adrian. It hardly matters who wears the Green. His intent is still to prevent me from regaining my arms. You must keep the Goblin and the authorities occupied.

474. VULTURE
Of course.

475. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Now, Electro. Open the vault.

476. ELECTRO
Roger that, Doc!

477. NARRATOR
Electro, already inside, short-circuits the vault’s electro-magnetic lock.

Tinkerer and Demona STAND.

478. TINKERER
Electro’s breached the vault.

479. DEMONA
So predictable. Send in your operatives.

480. NARRATOR
Tinkerer opens a burlap sack, releasing his five “operatives”.

HOMUNCULUS #1, HOMUNCULUS #2, HOMUNCULUS #3, HOMUNCULUS #4 and HOMUNCULUS #5 STAND.

481. HOMUNCULUS #1
Homunculi to the rescue!

482. HOMUNCULUS #2
Dirty work to be done!

483. HOMUNCULUS #3
Peach Cobbler!

484. HOMUNCULUS #4
Uh oh, somebody’s language system’s off-line again.

485. HOMUNCULUS #5
You know it, girlfriend!

Calypso, Kraven and Lizard STAND.

486. NARRATOR
And down in the sewer…

487. CALYPSO
It is right above us, my love. The Power and the Glory. The very keys to the Kingdom.

488. KRAVEN
And Kraven will lay them all at your feet.

489. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

490. NARRATOR
Up top, a stretch limo skids to a stop outside the vault. Dominic Dracon and Fancy Dan emerge.

Dracon and FANCY DAN STAND.

491. DRACON
All right, boys. Get me those jewels!

492. FANCY DAN
I think what the boss means is… Destroy the competition!

Carnage, Colonel Jupiter and Venom STAND.

493. CARNAGE
<evil chuckle> Carnage time?

494. FANCY DAN
Yeah. Go. Kill. Whatever.

495. COLONEL JUPITER
Colonel Jupiter will stop the Green Goblin and Vulture in their tracks!

496. FANCY DAN
Knock yourself out. But what are you waiting for?

497. VENOM
Someone worthy of our hate. But we have faith… He’ll come…

498. GREEN GOBLIN
My, my, the field’s getting crowded. Let’s thin the herd. Pumpkin-Heads, release the hounds! <ahem> That was a metaphor. Throw your pumpkin bombs already!

499. PUMPKIN BOMB
<multiple shrieks>

Pumpkin Bomb, Green Goblin, Venom, Fancy Dan, Colonel Jupiter, Carnage, Dracon, Lizard, Kraven, Calypso, Homunculus #5, Homunculus #4, Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Demona, Tinkerer, Electro, Doctor Octopus, Vulture, George, Morgan, O’Neil and Matt SIT. May, Peter, Bishansky, Flash, Kong, Sally, Mary Jane, Gwen and Harry STAND.

500. MAY
Goodness, what was that?

501. PETER
Something The Bugle will want pictures of. Open the door.

502. BISHANSKY
Uh…

503. MAY
Peter Parker, I am not letting you off this bus in the middle of the expressway.

504. PETER
Aunt May we’re at a complete standstill. And you don’t have to worry. I’ll use my telephoto lens. I won’t be anywhere near the action.

505. MAY
I suppose it is your job… Open the door.

506. BISHANSKY
Yes, ma’am.

507. PETER
Thanks, Aunt May. You rock!

508. FLASH
If Puny Parker’s going, I’m going too!

509. MAY
Eugene Thompson, you sit your backside down in that seat right this minute.

510. FLASH
Yes, ma’am.

511. KONG
<laughs>

512. SALLY
What’s he going to take pictures with? I saw his camera get blown up two months ago.

513. MARY JANE
Pete’s a professional photographer, Sally. I’m sure he has more than one camera.

514. GWEN
Harry… Are you all right in there?

515. HARRY
<vomit noise> Ugh, don’t come in. It really isn’t pretty.

Harry, Gwen, Mary Jane, Sally, Kong, Flash, May, Peter and Bishansky sit. Broadway, Goliath, Brooklyn, Angela, Elisa, Zafiro and Obsidiana STAND.

516. NARRATOR
The clan alights on a rise overlooking the battlefield.

517. BROADWAY
Whoa, what a mess…

518. GOLIATH
We will split our forces. Brooklyn, Lexington, Broadway, Obsidiana, Zafiro with me.

519. BROOKLYN
Shouldn’t I lead the other contingent?

520. GOLIATH
I need your experience and your weapons at my side.

521. ANGELA
Don’t worry, Brooklyn, we’ve got it covered.

522. NARRATOR
Angela, Hudson, Katana, Gnash, Coldstone and Coldfire glide toward the battle.

523. BROOKLYN, BROADWAY (UNISON)
Be careful!

Angela sits.

524. ELISA
You know I’m going with you.

525. GOLIATH
Not this time, Elisa. You must join your fellow officers…

526. ELISA
Butâ€"

527. GOLIATH
When all is settled, we shall need your help to cover our retreat from this conflagration… You know this is true.

528. ELISA
(defeated)
Yes.

Elisa sits. Spider-Man STANDS.

529. NARRATOR
Elisa makes her way down the hill. Goliath and the others glide to the Vault’s roof. Spider-Man lands there at the same time.

530. SPIDER-MAN, ZAFIRO (UNISON)
You again!

531. GOLIATH
Hold, Spider-Man. I have a friend who knows your Captain Stacy.

532. SPIDER-MAN
Really?

533. GOLIATH
This policeman believes in you. So I choose to believe in you as well.

534. SPIDER-MAN
Says the eight-foot tall medieval monster. But I get it. We’re on the same side. So let’s go kick some Pumpkin-Butt!

535. ZAFIRO
¡Idiota! That battle is a mere distraction.

536. OBSIDIANA
The true danger lies within…

537. SPIDER-MAN
All right, all right, you had me at “Idiota”.

538. NARRATOR
The gargoyles rip open the rooftop. The seven heroes descend, but someone watches…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Zafiro, Goliath, Broadway and Brooklyn sit. Venom and Fancy Dan STAND.

539. VENOM
And there goes our Bro…

540. FANCY DAN
You going in? That wasn’t the plan!

541. VENOM
And how do intend to stop us?

542. FANCY DAN
Fine, go. But if you see my Ricochet suit, bring it out!

Fancy Dan and Venom sit. Foswell, Jonah and Robbie STAND.

543. FOSWELL
See, J.J. The tip from Dracon’s old chauffer was right on the money.

544. JONAH
Whaddaya want, a fershlugginer medal?! Let’s get in there!

545. ROBBIE
Slow down, Jonah. I promised Joan I wouldn’t let you lose your head, figuratively or literally.

546. JONAH
Forget my head! Who cares about my head?! My boy needs me!

Ned and Colonel Jupiter STAND.

547. NED
Looks to me like your boy’s doing pretty well, Chief!

548. COLONEL JUPITER
Take that, miscreants!

549. ROBBIE
Ned, how did youâ€"

550. NED
Tip from one of the pumpkin-heads. Foswell’s not the only one with sources.

551. JONAH
You two can naked mud-wrestle over who’s the biggest brown-noser later. For now, Robbie, if you don’t let go of me in zero-point-zero seconds, I’ll dropkick you to next Season! And there’s no guarantee there’ll be a next Season!

552. NARRATOR
Jonah breaks away from Robbie, but his path is blocked…

Elisa STANDS.

553. ELISA
Get back! You want to wind up street pizza!

554. JONAH
But that’s my son up there.

555. ELISA
Yeah, well, at least he’s fighting on the right side.

556. COLONEL JUPITER
Nothing stands against the might of Colonel Jupiter!

557. ELISA
Does he always talk like that?

558. ROBBIE
Bombasticism runs in the family.

Robbie, Elisa, Colonel Jupiter, Jonah, Ned and Foswell sit. Vulture, Carnage, Green Goblin, Angela, Fancy Dan, Matt and Dracon STAND.

559. NARRATOR
Jupiter takes down Pumpkin-Heads right and left. Hudson squares off against Vulture.

560. VULTURE
Why do I get the old guy?

561. NARRATOR
You’re old. He’s old. It’s parallelism. Get over it.
(beat)
Coldstone and Coldfire isolate Carnage.

562. CARNAGE
No fair! These two don’t spatter at all!

563. NARRATOR
Angela and Katana take on the Goblin.

564. GREEN GOBLIN
Oh, goody. Gobby likes getting down and dirty with the hotties.

565. ANGELA
Oh, you did not just say that.

566. NARRATOR
And little Gnash goes after Fancy Dan.

567. FANCY DAN
Admit it, you gave me the kid because I’m short?

568. NARRATOR
Even Detective Bluestone gets into the act.

569. MATT
Freeze, Dracon!

570. DRACON
You’re confused. I’m G.F. Benton, a certified public accountant. I think I’ll be going now…

571. MATT
Yeah. Back to Ravencroft, you old nutter!

572. NARRATOR
But inside, things are a bit more serious…

Matt, Dracon, Fancy Dan, Angela, Green Goblin, Carnage and Vulture sit. Electro and Doctor Octopus STAND.

573. ELECTRO
Got your arms, Doc!

574. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
And my Megalo-Pack?

575. ELECTRO
You’re Mega-what now?

576. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
My power-source, Maxwell.

577. ELECTRO
Right, right. No. That’s not here.

578. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
What?!

Homunculus #1, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #3 STAND.

579. HOMUNCULUS #1
Gotta get the true treasure!

580. HOMUNCULUS #2
Bring it back to the big Smurfette!

581. HOMUNCULUS #3
Blunk hates getting wet!

582. NARRATOR
Three Homunculi fly deeper into the vault to retrieve Demona’s prize.

Homunculus #3, Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Zafiro, Spider-Man, Lexington, Homunculus #5, Goliath, Brooklyn, Broadway and Obsidiana STAND.

583. ZAFIRO
What are those things?!

584. SPIDER-MAN, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
Robots!

585. LEXINGTON
And I got one!

586. HOMUNCULUS #5
Leggo, you big bully!

587. LEXINGTON
<ugh> What an annoying voice…

588. HOMUNCULUS #5
(aside to audience)
Look who’s talking.

589. LEXINGTON
…But I might be able to use it to take control of the others.

590. SPIDER-MAN
I think I can help.

Venom STANDS.

591. VENOM
You’ll be a little too busy for that, Bro.

592. GOLIATH
Friend of yours?

593. SPIDER-MAN
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

594. VENOM
Die, Spider-Man!

595. VENOM, SPIDER-MAN
<add-lib battle sounds>

596. SPIDER-MAN
A little help?

597. NARRATOR
Brooklyn blasts Venom, who collapses.

598. VENOM
<vibrating scream>

Venom sits.

599. BROOKLYN
Sonic Cannon. Circa 2198. Guess my weapons do come in handy.

600. LEXINGTON
Just cover me until I can get this working…

Demona and Tinkerer STAND.

601. DEMONA
What’s wrong, Tinkerer? Why haven’t they returned?

602. TINKERER
Someone’s trying to counter their programming. He won’t succeed.

603. DEMONA
He had better not.

604. LEXINGTON
My hack’s being hacked!

605. TINKERER
He’s overriding my override!

Homunculus #4 STANDS.

606. HOMUNCULUS #4
Go right. Go left. Go right. Go left. Blow up!

607. NARRATOR
Homunculus #4 blows up. But so does Homunculus #5 in Lexington’s hands!

608. LEXINGTON
<pain cry>

609. BROADWAY
Lexington!

Homunculus #4 and Homunculus #5 sit.

610. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
This is madness! Grab my arms and get me out of here!

611. ELECTRO
Workin’ on it!

612. NARRATOR
Electro blasts away, until he and Doc Ock are blindsided by…

Kraven, Gulyadkin, Lizard and Calypso STAND.

613. ELECTRO, DOCTOR OCTOPUS
<impacts>

614. BROADWAY
Look, it’s Claw.

615. KRAVEN
<roar>

616. BROOKLYN
That’s not Claw.

617. BROADWAY
Well, it’s sure not Maggie.

618. GULYADKIN
<lion roar>

619. LEXINGTON
(recovering)
Is that an actual lion?

620. LIZARD
<lizard roar>

621. SPIDER-MAN
Lizard, too? Seriously, this is way over the top.
Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

622. HOMUNCULUS #1
Got the gizmo!

623. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi never fail!

624. NARRATOR
Two homunculi fly past, carrying a sealed container down a dark corridor.

625. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA (UNISON)
The totem!
(pointing at each other)
Don’t let her near it!

626. KRAVEN
Go, Calypso! Leave them to us!

627. ZAFIRO
¡Vaya, mi amor!

628. BROOKLYN
We got your back, Goliath! Go!

629. SPIDER-MAN
Think I’ll tag along too…

Spider-Man, Obsidiana, Calypso, Homunculus #2, Homunculus #1, Goliath, Tinkerer and Demona sit.

630. NARRATOR
Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spider-Man race down the corridor.

631. KRAVEN
Lizard, take the reptile!

632. ZAFIRO
¡No soy ningún reptil! ¡Soy un Gárgolo!

633. ZAFIRO, LIZARD
<ad-lib battle sounds>

634. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin attack!

635. GULYADKIN
<pounce roar>

636. NARRATOR
Gulyadkin and Kraven attack Lex and Broadway!

637. LEXINGTON
Hey, get him off me!

638. BROADWAY
Kinda busy at the moment!

639. GULYADKIN, LEXINGTON, KRAVEN, BROADWAY
<ad-lib struggles>

640. NARRATOR
Brooklyn steps in and pulls both cats off his rookery brothers. They turn on him.

641. BROOKLYN
Uh oh.

642. BROADWAY, LEXINGTON (UNISON)
All for one!

643. NARRATOR
The two gargoyles return the favor, knocking Kraven and Gulyadkin aside. Then Brooklyn blasts them both.

644. BROOKLYN
And one for all!

645. KRAVEN, GULYADKIN
<blast impacts>

646. LEXINGTON
Some things never change.

647. NARRATOR
Zafiro throws Lizard’s unconscious body on top of Kraven…

648. KRAVEN, LIZARD
<oofs>

649. ZAFIRO
We should follow Obsidiana…

650. ZAFIRO, BROOKLYN, LEXINGTON, BROADWAY
<electrocution scream>

651. NARRATOR
The four gargoyles are dropped by Electro’s blast.

652. ELECTRO
Still want out?

653. DOCTOR OCTOPUS
Indeed not. My curiosity is piqued. Let’s see where this leads…

Doctor Octopus, Electro, Broadway, Lexington, Brooklyn, Zafiro, Gulyadkin, Kraven and Lizard sit. Demona, Homunculus #1 and Homunculus #2 STAND.

654. NARRATOR
Electro and Octopus head down the corridor… In a dimly lit room, Demona holds the Spear of Destiny and watches as the two homunculi open the container. Inside… is a crown of thorns.

655. DEMONA
The Crown of Thorns!

656. NARRATOR
Demona removes her tiara.

657. DEMONA
Place it on my head…

658. HOMUNCULUS #1
Placing, placing…

659. HOMUNCULUS #2
Homunculi aim to please!

660. NARRATOR
The Homunculi gently lower the crown onto Demona’s head before disappearing back into the darkness. The thorns bite into her brow, drawing blood. Calypso, Obsidiana, Goliath and Spidey come rushing in.

Homunculus #2 and Homunculus #1 sit. Spider-Man, Goliath, Calypso and Obsidiana STAND.

661. DEMONA
My Kingdom come. My Will be done…

662. SPIDER-MAN
Friend of yours?

663. GOLIATH
Once upon a time. Not so much now.

664. DEMONA
On Earth as it is in Heaven…

665. CALYPSO
Too late…

666. OBSIDIANA
Too late…

667. DEMONA
For MINE is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory for ever and ever…

668. CALYPSO, OBSIDIANA, SPIDER-MAN (UNISON)
Amen…

669. NARRATOR
Light radiates outward from the Spear. Goliath watches in confusion as Calypso, Obsidiana and Spider-Man drop to their knees before Demona. Octopus and Electro enter and likewise fall to their knees. The light reaches the outer vault. Though still unconscious, Venom, Lizard, Zafiro and Kraven lurch to their feet, then drop to their knees. And still the light advances…

Obsidiana and Calypso sit.

670. GOLIATH
What sorcery is this?!

671. DEMONA
The most powerful human sorcery ever created, Goliath. This is humanity’s Armageddon. Their entire race’s final act.

END ACT TWO

NEXT: ACT THREE...

G2009 Radio Play

G2009 Radio Play - Act One

4. NARRATOR
The Spectacular Spider-Man Meets Gargoyles. RELIGIOUS STUDIES 101: A HANDFUL OF THORNS. Act One. Late that night atop the Eyrie Building…

Dominique and Kafka sit. GOLIATH and ELISA MAZA STAND and KISS.

5. GOLIATH, ELISA
<kiss>

6. GOLIATH
There are some human customs I will never get used to Elisa. <kisses her again> This is not one of them.

7. ELISA
You’re in a good mood.

8. GOLIATH
I am. Hudson and Lexington are back from Europe, bringing Coldstone and Coldfire with them.

9. ELISA
<chuckle> Not to mention Brooklyn returning from forty years of TimeDancing with a mate, a son, a beast and an egg.

10. GOLIATH
The clan has doubled in size. What challenge can the Fates throw at us now that we cannotâ€"

11. NARRATOR
The sun rises. Goliath turns to stone.

12. ELISA
<groan> You just had to say that out loud, didn’t you?

Elisa and Goliath sit. MAY PARKER and PETER PARKER STAND.

13. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, in Forest Hills…

14. MAY
Peter, what are you doing up?

15. PETER
Studying for today’s English final. It’s on Midsummer Night’s Dream. And I missed seeing the Cliff Notes version.

16. MAY
Which may explain why you and Miss Allan are no longer a couple.

17. PETER
Aunt May, you know we didn’t break up because I missed her play.

18. MAY
You’re right; I shouldn’t be glib. I suppose there’s no chance that you and Gwen…

19. PETER
I don’t know. Not now anyway. Not when Harry’s hurting so much from the death of his father.

20. MAY
It hardly seems possible that Norman Osborn is gone. The Bugle says he was the Green Goblin, but I’m not sure I can believe that.

21. PETER
Sometimes, Aunt May… it’s, okay, to believe everything you read…

May and Peter sit. GREEN GOBLIN and BLACKIE GAXTON STAND.

22. NARRATOR
At a dive bar downtown, the Green Goblin BURSTS in on his glider…

23. GREEN GOBLIN
<tsk, tsk, tsk> Blackie. This place is scummy even by your pond-scum standards. Quite a comedown from your last gig…

24. BLACKIE
Tell that to the whacko who set a flaming super-villain loose in The Big Sky. Oh, wait. That was you.

25. GREEN GOBLIN
Yes. Yes, it was. <maniacal laugh>

26. BLACKIE
Weren’t you supposed to be dead?

27. GREEN GOBLIN
I was also supposed to be Osborn, but you didn’t buy that, did you? Just one of the many little tricks I keep up my sleeve. Nothing’s changed, Blackie. The Goblin’s still in charge.

28. BLACKIE
You hear me arguing?

29. GREEN GOBLIN
No. Now, gather my Pumpkin-Heads…

Blackie and Goblin sit. Kafka and Dominique STAND.

30. NARRATOR
At Ravencroft, Dominique Destine and Dr. Kafka supervises six inmates who work to excavate a sub-basement.

31. KAFKA
I still don’t understand what you expect to find down here.

32. DOMINIQUE
Vertros Ravencroft, the founder of this Institute, was a quirky soul. An intimate friend of Freud and Conan Doyle, he was a true believer in both psychotherapy and spiritualism.

33. KAFKA
You speak as if you knew him.

34. DOMINIQUE
Now how would that be possible?

35. KAFKA
It couldn’t, of course… But the dig?

36. DOMINIQUE
Yes. Ravencroft was also a collector. I have reason to believe he buried certain items of his collection here. Now, Doctor, didn’t you say you had meetings scheduled…

37. KAFKA
You’ll be all right down here alone?

38. DOMINIQUE
Your orderlies are in the hallway. And I’m quite self-sufficient. So run along.

Kafka sits. OTTO OCTAVIUS STANDS.

39. DOMINIQUE
Excellent work, Doctor Octavius. Very precise.

40. OTTO
Thank you. I appreciate having something to occupy my hands…

41. DOMINIQUE
Your hands? Not… your arms?

42. OTTO
Arms? I… I hope you’re not referring to my unfortunate… b-b-breakdown.

43. DOMINIQUE
What would be the point? Believe me, Doctor, no one better understands the advantage of creating a false front.

ELECTRO STANDS.

44. ELECTRO
I’ve blasted away another section of cement.

45. DOMINIQUE
Thank you, Maxwell.

46. ELECTRO
Don’t. Call. Me. That.

47. DOMINIQUE
Don’t. Tell. Me. What to do… Electro.

48. ELECTRO
Uh… okay.
(asides to Otto)
She’s a little scary.

49. OTTO
Indeed.

Otto and Electro sit. DOMINIC DRACON, JOHN JAMESON, EDDIE BROCK and CLETUS KASSADY STAND.

50. DRACON
I blame Mace. When that crook cheated me, I lost face. But when I get the jewels back, they’ll respect me again. Did Mace bury the jewels here?

51. DOMINIQUE
Maybe he did, Dominic. Keep working.

52. JOHN
What’s the point? How is tearing up a basement supposed to bring me Colonel Jupiter’s power?!

53. EDDIE
Shut up and dig.

54. JOHN
You like doing this?!

55. EDDIE
I hate it. But I need that hate. I need to keep the hate alive.

56. DOMINIQUE
Such an interesting crew. And what do you want out of life, Cletus…

57. CLETUS
Nothing too fancy. <chuckles> Just a little carnage.

Cletus, Dominique, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. GWEN STACY and Peter STAND.

58. NARRATOR
That afternoon, at Midtown High…

59. GWEN
Hey, Pete. How’d you do?

60. PETER
Ugh, horrible, probably. I mean you know English is like my worst subject. It’s all so subjective andâ€"

61. GWEN
Peter.

62. PETER
Okay, okay… not the look! I probably aced it. Happy?

63. GWEN
That you did well. Always.

64. PETER
Thanks. Look, Gwen, I--

HARRY OSBORN STANDS.

65. HARRY
Well, what have we here? My best friend and girlfriend conferring in a corner. Planning a surprise party for me?

66. PETER
Uh, it’s not your birthday, Harr.

67. HARRY
I thought maybe it was a thank you bash. For giving you both these…

68. GWEN
(reading)
“You are cordially invited to spend Spring Break traveling by private jet to Miami, where you’ll stay, all-expenses-paid, at the Osborn Winter Compound on the Beach…"

69. PETER
You’re inviting the three of us to spend a week together in Florida?

70. HARRY
Not just the three of us…

KENNY KONG, FLASH THOMPSON and MARY JANE WATSON stand.

71. KONG
Osborn, dude! You rock!

72. FLASH
Seven days in the sun and surf.

73. KONG
All you can eat!

74. FLASH
Girls in bikinis!

75. FLASH, KONG (UNISON)
Score! <laughter>

76. MARY JANE
Hi, Sha Shan. Hi, Glory.

77. FLASH
Sha Shan… uh… So… how much of that did you hear?

78. KONG
Look, Glory, you know I meant you, right? I mean who else would I want to see in a bikini. Uh, you’re not gonna break up with me again, are you?

Kong and Flash sit. SALLY AVRIL, RAND ROBERTSON, LIZ ALLAN and JASON IONELLO STAND.

79. SALLY
Oh. My. God. Harry, I just found the invitation in my locker. And all I have to say is that you can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy anytime you want!

80. HARRY
You okay with that Rand?

81. RAND
‘Scool. You can be my super-dweeb sugar-daddy too.

82. PETER
Exactly how many people did you invite to this thing?

83. HARRY
A handful. Kenny and Glory. Flash and Sha Shan. Rand and Sally. Hobie and Mindy. M.J. Gwen. Oh, and you and Liz, of course.

84. GWEN
Harry… Liz and Peter broke up.

85. HARRY
You did?! Wow. I had no idea. Guess I’ve just been so focused on my own problems. My Dad dying and everything. That’s why I need this trip. Gotta clear my head, you know? But maybe you two could reconcile…

86. SALLY
I don’t think so!

87. LIZ
It’s too late for that Harry. I’m with Jason now. We totally fell in love doing the play together.

88. JASON
We did?

89. SALLY / LIZ (UNISON)
Yes, you did. / Yes, we did.

90. LIZ
You don’t mind if I bring Jason instead of Petey, do you.

91. HARRY
The more the merrier.

92. LIZ
Thanks, Harry. You’re a doll. Kisses!

Liz, Sally, Jason and Rand sit.

93. HARRY
Pete, you’re still invited too. Course, it’s more of a couple’s thing. But M.J.’s guy is in prison…

94. MARY JANE
Thank you, Harry. Hadn’t been reminded of that in the last five minutes.

95. HARRY
Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I can’t help remembering the Fall Formal. You two made such a great pair! Don’t you think so, Gwen?

96. GWEN
Great.

97. PETER
I… suppose we could go… as friends. Just as friends.

98. MARY JANE
We’ll talk later, Tiger.

Mary Jane, Peter, Gwen and Harry sit. Kafka and CURT CONNORS STAND.

99. NARRATOR
Late that afternoon in Dr. Kafka’s office…

100. KAFKA
Doctor Connors, it’s good to see you. I’d heard you moved to Florida.

101. CURT
I did. But I never stopped working on a cure for Max Dillon. I think I’ve made some real progress.

102. KAFKA
That’s wonderful news. Max is downstairs… doing “work-therapy”. I’ll take you to him…

Kafka and Curt sit. Otto, Dominique, Electro, Dracon, John, Eddie and Cletus STAND.

103. ELECTRO
Ms. Destine. I think I found something.

104. DRACON
Is it my jewels?

105. OTTO
It… it appears to be a spearhead. It looks quite old.

106. DOMINIQUE
Give it to me.

107. ELECTRO
Sure, sure.

108. DOMINIQUE
Yes. This is it. I think we’re done, boys.

109. OTTO
Indeed. And just as the dig brought us right up against Ravencroft’s outer wall.

110. ELECTRO
You mean this wall?!

111. NARRATOR
Electro blasts a huge hole in the wall. When the smoke clears, the Vulture is waiting. He grabs Octavius.

VULTURE STANDS.

112. VULTURE
You’re coming with me, Otto.

113. OTTO
No, no, stop. I don’t want this life anymore… I’m trying to get better!! Let me go!!

114. ELECTRO
Shut it, Doc! It’s for your own good!

115. OTTO
Nooooooo!!!!

Otto, Electro and Vulture sit.

116. NARRATOR
Vulture and Electro leave with Octavius. Dominique watches them go.

117. DOMINIQUE
Well, that was diverting. And such excellent timing as well: it’s sunset. <transformation scream>

118. NARRATOR
With the setting of the sun, Dominique Destine transforms into a gargoyle… just as Kafka and Connors enter…

Kafka and Curt STAND.

119. KAFKA / CURT
Oh my god… / What in the world?!

120. NARRATOR
Demona effortlessly slams them both against a wall and turns to the remaining inmates…

121. CURT, KAFKA
<impacts, moans>

122. DEMONA
Listen carefully, humans. For I have listened to you. I can make all your petty little dreams come true. Dominic demands respect.

123. DRACON
Yes.

124. DEMONA
John craves power.

125. JOHN
Yes!

126. DEMONA
Eddie needs hate.

127. EDDIE
YES!

128. DEMONA
And all Cletus desires is a little carnage.

129. CLETUS
Or a lot. I’m not picky.

130. DEMONA
Then stick with me, boys. Respect, power, hatred, carnage. These are things I know…

DEMONA, Cletus, Eddie, John and Dracon sit. ALAN O’NEIL and GEORGE STACY STAND.

131. NARRATOR
Later, the police arrive to investigate…

132. O’NEIL
And you never met this broad before in your life…

133. KAFKA
She had excellent references, Officer O’Neil. It’s not like I grant just anyone access to my patients…

134. O’NEIL
And you wonder why people think they belong at Rykers.

135. GEORGE
There’s nothing else you can tell me, Doctor?

136. CURT
I’m sorry, Captain Stacy, but no. It was a creature.

137. GEORGE
Like that Lizard-thing from last fall?

138. CURT
No! No. Nothing like that. More like… like those things on the news that blew up the clock tower.

139. GEORGE
You mean the 23rd Precinct.

140. CURT
Yes.

141. GEORGE
You’re saying a gargoyle kidnapped those men.

142. CURT
Yes. No. I don’t know. Can I leave now?

George, O’Neil and Kafka sit. DILBERT TRILBY and NED LEE stand.

143. NARRATOR
But outside…

144. TRILBY
Doctor Connors! Dilbert Trilby, Action News. What can you tell our audience about the escape?

145. CURT
Nothing. No comment.

146. NED
Hey, Doc. Remember me? Ned Lee from The Bugle. Can you just tell me who escaped? Doc Ock? Electro? Colonel Jupiter â€" I mean, Colonel Jameson?

147. CURT
I’m sure the police will issue a statement. Now, I have to go.

Trilby sits. CALYPSO EZILI, KRAVEN THE HUNTER and GULYADKIN STAND.

148. NARRATOR
Connors hurries away down the street, as a limousine with dark-tinted windows pulls up in front of Ravencroft.

149. CALYPSO
We are too late, my love. The Christian Totem is gone.

150. KRAVEN
Gulyadkin and I will track it for you.

151. GULYADKIN
<low lion growl>

152. CALYPSO
I’m afraid that is beyond even your impressive abilities, Sergei, my love. But I have my own ways, as you well know…

153. KRAVEN
Of course, Calypso.

154. CALYPSO
Who is that? That man trying to hail a cab?

155. KRAVEN
He is a stranger to my eyes. Yet his scent is familiar.

156. CALYPSO
His aura glows with primal energies and may be of use to us.
(to Curt)
You need a ride.

157. CURT
What? No. No, thank you. I’ll get a cab.

158. KRAVEN
She wasn’t asking.

159. CURT
<scream>

160. NARRATOR
Kraven drags Connors into the limo, which quickly drives away…

Curt, Kraven, Calypso and Gulyadkin sit.

161. NED
Hello, Robbie? I’ve got something.

J. JONAH JAMESON, JOE “ROBBIE” ROBERTSON and FREDERICK FOSWELL STAND.

162. JONAH
Is that Lee? Put him on speaker.

163. ROBBIE
Now, Jonah, stay calm…

164. JONAH
Don’t you tell me to stay calm, Joe Robertson. It’s not your son at risk. Lee, you there?! I’ll give you exactly three-point-seven seconds to tell me John’s all right!

165. NED
Wish I could, Chief. But he disappeared with the rest. There are six inmaâ€" uh, patients missing. It’s not clear if they busted out or were kidnapped.

166. JONAH
Well, of course John was kidnapped. You think my son would--

167. ROBBIE
Ned, give me the whole list.

168. JONAH
Who cares about the listâ€"

169. ROBBIE
It could provide a lead to John.

170. NED
Doc Ock. Electro. John. Uh… let’s see. Edward Brock Jr., Cletus Kasady and Dominic Dracon.

171. FOSWELL
Dominic Dracon? The old mob boss? There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.

172. JONAH
Foswell, you know that world! Find out where Dracon might have gone!

173. FOSWELL
You got it, J.J.

174. JONAH
Lee, you stick to the damn super-villain angle! Ock, Electro. What’s their next move?!

175. NED
Right, boss!

176. JONAH
Robbie, I want every available man on this. No, damnit, I want every man, woman and child on this, available or not. Call Parker. Put Benny the copyboy on it. But Ms. Brant on it. I want John Jameson safely back in his mother’s arms in six-point… six-point…

177. ROBBIE
It’s okay, Jonah. We’re on it.

178. JONAH
Good. Good. I’ll… I’ll hit the streets myself. I’m still the best damn reporter in New York City! Just have to make a call first. Well, what are you all waiting for, get out! Out!

Robbie, Ned and Foswell sit.

179. JONAH (CONT)
Hello, is this WVRN? Travis Marshall, please. Travis? It’s Jonah. I got a lead for you on the Ravencroft thing.
(pauses, listening)
Whaddayou care why I’m helping the competition?! I know I hate television! You don’t have to tell me that! I’m not trying to sandbag you, damnit, I… I’m just trying to find my son… any way I can.

Jonah sits. SPIDER-MAN STANDS.

180. NARRATOR
That night finds Spider-Man swinging through the city…

181. PETER (VO)
If I didn’t know better, I’d think Harry was trying to torture me and Gwen. Then again, M.J. is quite the consolation prize. Ah, man, what am I saying? I’m in love with Gwen. Gwen. Gwendolyn Stacy. Just have to get through the next few weeks and then Harry’ll be in a better place, and she and I--

182. NARRATOR
Pete’s ringtone plays Itsy-Bitsy Spider.

183. SPIDER-MAN
Hello?

Robbie STANDS.

184. ROBBIE
Pete. Joe Robertson. There’s been an incident at Ravencroft.

Robbie sits.

185. SPIDER-MAN
Uh huh… uh huh… Wait, who’s missing? Uh oh. Him too? Oh, crap. Sorry, I mean-- What?! Seriously?! Uh, right. Yeah, I’ll keep my eyes open. Camera lens at the ready. Thanks for the heads up. Bye.
(to himself)
Whoa. At least this day can’t get any worse!

SMUGGLER #1 stands.

186. SMUGGLER #1
What the hell are those things?!

187. SPIDER-MAN
When am I gonna learn not to say that out loud?

188. NARRATOR
Spidey swings down to find two men in a van being attacked by two gargoyles, Obsidiana and Zafiro…

ZAFIRO and OBSIDIANA STAND.

189. SPIDER-MAN
Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but this lady-esque-blue-creature-thing matches the description of another lady-esque-blue-creature-thing who just busted some folks out of Ravenâ€"

190. ZAFIRO
What is he babbling about?

191. OBSIDIANA
I have no idea. I sense no connection between him and the source of the disturbance. But these two…

192. SMUGGLER #1
Keep her away from us!!

193. SPIDER-MAN
You see, now I’m on the horns of a dilemma… Uh, no offense. It’s just an expression; I wasn’t referring to your rather striking… Never mind. See in this particular Spider-Man’s experience, when genetic misfits attack ordinary human beings, I’m gonna have to side with the humans.

194. ZAFIRO
Qué sorpresa. A human with no knowledge of the situation leaping to defend one of his own.

195. NARRATOR
Zafiro attacks Spidey.

196. ZAFIRO, SPIDER-MAN
<ad lib battle efforts, impacts>

197. NARRATOR
Obsidiana rips open the top of the van.

198. OBSIDIANA
<rip effort>

199. SMUGGLER #1
Stay back!

200. NARRATOR
The two humans open fire on her, forcing her to leap away… The van peels out. Obsidiana tries to follow, but Spidey webs her wings together.

Smuggler #1 sits.

201. OBSIDIANA
Por favor! You don’t understand the powers that are gathering!!

202. SPIDER-MAN
And you’re the one doing the Gathering, I take it!

203. OBSIDIANA
No!

204. ZAFIRO
Enough!

205. SPIDER-MAN
<impact grunt>

206. NARRATOR
Zafiro slams Spidey into a wall. By the time the web-slinger recovers, the gargoyles are gone…

Zafiro and Obsidiana sit.

207. SPIDER-MAN
<groan> For a guy with no legs, that snake-thing can move…

Spider-Man sits. George and MARIA CHAVEZ STAND.

208. NARRATOR
Not far away…

209. GEORGE
Captain Chavez.

210. CHAVEZ
Captain Stacy. What brings you to what’s left of the 23rd?

211. GEORGE
It’s the Ravencroft thing. I’ve got corroborating witnesses telling me a gargoyle was involved.

212. CHAVEZ
<sigh> I miss the days when being a cop didn’t involve a working knowledge of The Twilight Zone.

213. GEORGE
Welcome to the Freak Show.

214. CHAVEZ
Anyway, as it happens, the Gargoyle Taskforce is meeting right now. First trailer on the right. Ask for Bluestone.

Chavez sits. MATT BLUESTONE, MORGAN MORGAN, MARGOT YALE and Elisa STAND.

215. NARRATOR
Minutes later…

216. GEORGE
And that’s all I know…

217. MATT
Well, that is interesting, or, you know… really, really scary.

218. MORGAN
I’ll say, Detective. With or without a gargoyle, I’ve heard Ock and Electro are bad news. And that Cletus Kasady: he killed five people before--

219. MARGOT
Forget Kasady. Any idiot can bring a serial killer down. It’s the gargoyle we should be concerned with. It’s what I’ve been saying all along! Those monsters are dangerous!

220. MATT
I think what A.D.A. Yale is saying, Captain, is that the Taskforce is on it. We’ll let you know if we hear anything. And we’ll be checking in with all our sources, won’t we, Detective?

221. ELISA
And fast.

Elisa, Matt, Margot, Morgan and George sit. Smuggler #1 and Demona STAND.

222. NARRATOR
Meanwhile, a van with a torn up roof pulls up to a Gramercy Park Mansion… The driver speaks into the intercom…

223. SMUGGLER #1
Longinus sent me.

224. DEMONA
Leave the package. Then take your money and go. While you still can.

225. SMUGGLER #1
Geez, who lives here? Dracula’s daughter?

Smuggler #1 sits. Eddie, John and Cletus STAND.

226. NARRATOR
Demona collects her package.

227. EDDIE
The old guy’s asleep. What’s that?

228. DEMONA
A simple wooden shaft. The prize of Adolph Hitler’s personal collection. After his… demise, his remaining followers smuggled it to Brazil. I paid handsomely to have it smuggled to me.

229. EDDIE
Why? I mean sure, it’s the shaft of a spear. Completes the set with that arrowhead you took from Ravencroft. But why do we care?

230. DEMONA
Here’s why.

231. NARRATOR
Demona joins the spear and spearhead together. Instantly, it radiates incredible power.

232. DEMONA
The Holy Lance. The Spear of Destiny. The weapon that pierced the side of the Christ. Do you still want power, John? This is power.

233. JOHN
Give it to me. Give it!

234. DEMONA
No. This power is mine. But I will use it to give you back your own…

235. NARRATOR
She points the Spear at John Jameson. The magic surrounds him and transforms him into Colonel Jupiter!

236. COLONEL JUPITER
<transformation scream> Yes! The power is mine! I am Colonel Jupiter!

237. DEMONA
For what that’s worth… Now for Eddie.

238. VENOM
<transformation scream>

239. DEMONA
Happy now?

240. VENOM
Extremely. We are Venom again.

241. DEMONA
And what about you, Cletus?

242. CLETUS
(pointing at Venom)
I’ll have what he’s having…

243. DEMONA
As you wish… Carnage.

244. CARNAGE
<transformation scream>

245. VENOM
All right, Demona. You’re the Mirror Universe Wizard of Oz. But what now?

246. DEMONA
Mine is the Power. But I still require the Kingdom and the Glory. This is only the first act, humans… or whatever you are now. The main event is still to come…

Demona, VENOM, CARNAGE and COLONEL JUPITER sit.

END ACT ONE

TOMORROW: ACT TWO...

Chapter XXXIV: "Avalon, Part One"

There's no memo, outline or script for this one on my computer, so we'll head right into my ramble on...

"AVALON, PART ONE"
DIRECTOR: Dennis Woodyard.
WRITER: Lydia Marano.
STORY EDITOR: Brynne Chandler Reaves.

THE RECAP

...is all over the place. So much was coming together in this three-parter. The Weird Sisters, the eggs, the Archmage, Tom, Princess Katharine, the Magus, Macbeth, Demona. This was our most ambitious story yet. Which given episodes like "The Mirror" or "Vows" and multi-parters like "Awakening" and "City of Stone" was saying something.

Of course "Avalon" was never designed to be the cohesive single story movie that "City of Stone" was. It was designed as a tryptych. Part one would bring our heroes up to date. Part two would bring our villains up to date. Part three would pit them against each other.

"Avalon I" also represented the first episode in our fourth tier. The three-parter was what we called a 'tentpole'. We knew we couldn't air it until all the Tier 3 episodes had aired. And we knew we couldn't air any other Tier 4 episodes until this three-parter had aired. Despite the fact that "The Price" aired out of order, generally our Tentpole/Tier system worked very well. Out of 66 episodes that I worked on only two: "The Price" and "Kingdom" aired out of order, hopefully with minimal damage to the continuity.

THE TITLE

The title was one of mine. But initially I wasn't sure that we were going to call the island Avalon. Now, it's mind-boggling to me, but I actually had my assistant Monique Beatty (who's now a producer in her own right) research Brigadoon to find out if that name was created only for the musical, or if it was something pulled from legends. I was thinking of Avalon, but looking for something from a Scotish tradition as opposed to British. Fortunately, Brigadoon was created for the musical. So we were 'stuck' with Avalon. Which made including King Arthur a natural.

Many series don't reveal that an episode is going to be a multi-parter until you get to the 'To Be Continued' line at the closer. "Avalon, Part One" could have just been titled "Avalon". The conventional wisdom is that people are reluctant to commit the time to a multi-parter in advance. That it is better to hook them on the story before revealing that they HAVE to come back to see the end. I always felt that was cheating. What is your reaction to seeing "Part One" attached to a title?

OPENING

Another cool shot of our gargs waking up. Always nice to reiterate that at the start of our bigger stories.

Bronx gets left behind. Of course, this often happens. It was one of the things that the World Tour would set about correcting in a BIG way. But we made his getting left behind a bit more obvious here. Usually, he just doesn't go. This time they won't take him and he's sad. We were laying pipe.

My 5-year-old son Benny asked where Hudson and the Trio were going. I had to think about it. "On Patrol, I guess."

OLD FRIENDS

Then the GUARDIAN shows up. I love his cool, Goliath-inspired armor. My 7-year-old daughter Erin immediately demanded to know who he was. I wouldn't tell her. (I'm so mean.) Did any of you guess?

Of course he immediately encounters BRENDAN & MARGOT. (What would one of our multi-parters be without him?)

Then comes the three gang-bangers from "AWAKENING, PART THREE". As usual, Keith David does the voice for one of them -- making it distinctive from both Goliath and MORGAN, who's about to come in and speak. The problem is we got a touch confused. In Awakening, Keith voices the bald white guy. Here he does the same voice, but it's assigned to the black guy. Hard to say which is wrong, except by virtue of which came first. It annoys me though.

Morgan's fun in this. I really like him. No one but Simon DelMonte will get this, and I don't know if he even reads these rambles, but Morgan kind of reminds me of Jeff Goslin, a character that Cary Bates and I created in Captain Atom.

Anyway, I like how Morgan talks Guardian down. And I like how the sword is much heavier than he thought it was going to be. His cop buddies tease him, but he maintains his sense of wonder and goodness when talking about the Guardian to Elisa.

That's kind of a cool scene. First off he describes Guardian's armor: "Real armor. King Arthur stuff." Anyone think this was a clue to what was coming in the next episode? Even with the Avalon title? Then he tells her the guy's looking for Gargoyles. Elisa of course discourages her fellow officers from taking Garg reports seriously. Everyone who's seen one must be a nut-case. These guys should form 'a club'. Then she finds out that this Guardian was asking for Goliath by name. BOOM.

BELVEDERE CASTLE

Site of our last encounter with Demona and Macbeth. Another clue.

Once Elisa got a look at the Guardian's armor, she must have thought -- yeah, there's a Goliath connection here all right.

Goliath shows with Bronx, who gets to come along and come along and come along for once. Bronx always seemed underutilized to us. We knew we couldn't bring the whole clan along. (Too many characters and no poignancy.) But Bronx was an easy addition. Of course, Bronx is also useful as a kind of living personality test. If Bronx likes you, it's a damn good sign. Bronx likes Tom. Does he remember him? What scents do you figure the Guardian carried back from Avalon. Anyway, Bronx engenders immediate trust in the Guardian for Goliath.

I love this scene. Guardian gives everyone so little time to catch up. He talks about the Archmage, reveals that he's Tom and talks about 'the eggs' being in danger. *That was a fun idea. Keep you guys thinking in terms of eggs for twenty minutes and reveal that it's just a pet name for the Avalon Clan.*

Benny asked: "What kind of Eggs?"
Erin: "Gargoyle Eggs."
Benny: "I didn't know Gargoyles hatch out of eggs." [Well, keep in mind it's been a year since he saw the first thirty episodes. And he's too young to remember the first time he saw the ones we're watching now.]

Then there's the skiff. Elisa: "Where'd that boat come from? ... To where? The other side of the lake? ... Wait for me!"

This all sounds fishy to her. Nothing makes sense. I wanted to get a clear shot in there of the pond in Central Park so that you could see objectively that it doesn't go anywhere. But I never quite managed that. I wanted you guys to be confused. Or at any rate to have a million questions. But like Elisa, no matter how suspicious, I figured you'd want to go along for the ride.

FLASHBACK

Mary, Katharine, the Magus and young Tom are all reintroduced. It's very clear that the first three have all learned their lesson from Awakening. They've all really become better people. Tom, of course, didn't need to learn that lesson. But he does learn to be a hero. He officially becomes the Guardian. It begins, I believe, as just a nice gesture on the part of the Princess. Later, of course, it'll become the truth. Then there's the long journey. I like the montage there. Hardship. We never had the time to show enough of the hardship of tenth century life.

Our gang heads into Edinburgh. Constantine's followers are all over the place. They all seem to look like Disney storyboard artists for some reason. ;)

VOICES

There's some stellar voice work in this ep. Morgan Shepard as King Kenneth II. Sheena Easton making her Garg Premiere as Finella. Ian Buchanan as Constantine. (I've already mentioned Keith's versatility.)

But as usual, real props must be handed out to Jeff Bennnett and Kath Soucie.

Jeff plays Brooklyn, the Magus and Maol Chalvim. (No Bruno or Owen or Vinnie in this ep, I'm afraid.)

Kath plays Katharine, Mary and all three Weird Sisters.

They're amazing.

SOAP OPERA

Benny saw Finella and said: "That's one of the witches."

A year ago, Tom was his favorite character. Now Tom barely registered. And he really is fascinated with the Weird Sisters. Anyway, I corrected him, but I was glad that they were appearing later.

Ian Buchanan, once of General Hospital, is playing a cad here. We have to very quickly set up a lot of politics, sexual and otherwise. This story was as historical as we could make it based on the available research, the fact that we had to fit in a few fictional characters and eggs, and screen time compression.

Believe it or not, we also had another character originally that we cut early on because it was just getting too damn complicated. Katharine and Maol Chalvim's cousin: the future King Kenneth III. The father of Bodhe. Yep. That Bodhe. The father of Gruoch.

Kenneth III winds up being made High King of Scotland after Constantine is killed. To get a sense of their relationship, at least as I see it, you might want to check out "Once upon a time there were three brothers..."

(Or to give you a hint, ten years after the events depicted here, King Kenneth III would be murdered by Maol Chalvim's operatives during a civil war. Maol Chalvim was also known as Malcolm Forranach, the Destroyer. We used the Maol Chalvim version of his name so as not to confuse him with Katharine's father Prince Malcolm. Just as in City of Stone we emphasized Malcolm Canmore's Canmore name for the same reason.)

Anyway, Maol Chalvim seems intense but right on the money here. He's even kind of heroic when he and the Magus bring Tom back to Katharine's apartment, and he begs Katharine to go. Kind of heroic. He still leaves her. We were trying very hard to balance out his minor role here with his future roll as the grandfather of and major influence on Duncan. (Of course, he's also Macbeth's grandfather, as well.)

After Katharine tells Maol to go, there's a weird cut of him just standing there smiling. We needed some kind of transition before he took off running, and I guess that was the best we could do. But it's still awkward as hell.

THE MURDER

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We establish early on that Katharine doesn't think much of Constantine. You wouldn't know it from Awakening, but obvioulsy she's learned to be a decent judge of character.

Kenneth isn't quite so sharp. Everyone can see that he's a fool for Finella. And he doesn't recognize Constantine's threat (despite the fact that Constantine's father was a bitter enemy and) despite the fact that his son flat out tells him to beware. My thinking was that the crown had kept bouncing back and forth between different branches of the royal family. Kenneth had hoped that by taking Constantine in, instead of banishing him, he'd be able to be a positive influence on the boy. A nice idea perhaps, but maybe Kenneth was too innattentive to pull it off. And Maol probably was too covetous to really be a brother to young Con.

Anyway, Constantine tricks Finella and kills the king. We hear Finella sobbing, just to prove that she was neither in on it nor that she would approve of it. (Though one wonders what her reaction would have been down the road if Constantine hadn't spurned her in favor of Katharine. Would she have adjusted to the crime? Or did Constantine become an unredeemable villain in her eyes immediately? I hate to say it, but I tend to think it's the former. Actually, I don't hate to say it. She's more interesting to write that way.)

Erin asked: "He killed King Arthur? Why?"

That's a tough question. So first I had to explain that it was King Kenneth, not King Arthur. Then my wife Beth helped out by explaining that Constantine wanted to be king.

We come back from the act and we see that Constantine was ready for the takeover. The Banners are immediately changed in a scene clearly inspired by the Ian McKellan (spelling?) movie version of Shakespeare's Richard III. (A version I heartily recommend, by the way.)

We also continue to set up the Magus' own tragedy. He loves Katharine. Has loved her since before Awakening. That feeling is shown to deepen here when she is once again in danger. And when Constantine tries to coerce her into marrying him. (The astute Mary and Tom have to hold him back.) Here, we sense that maybe Katharine might some day return that love. That's what I wanted you all to think anyway. Did you?

Constantine takes his crown. Originally we wanted to stage this with the Stone of Destiny as we did with Macbeth. But again, I think we just had too many sets.

Michaelmas. I just like that word.

Constantine is fairly astute himself: "You have 36 very good reasons to obey." We kept reiterating the number of eggs for what was coming later.

THE ESCAPE

The Magus disguises broken pots as eggs and vice-versa. But it always seemed to me that the kitchen staff at Edinburgh sure broke a lot of pots. I mean a LOT!

I like the lines: "Taking the wee bairns for a walk?" and "I don't think I like Gargoyle eggs." Very menacing.

Princess K burns her wedding dress. She feels she cannot leave because C will follow her to "the ends of the Earth." So the Magus responds: "Then I will take you beyond them." Again. Very romantic moment between them.

Finella joins the troop. The WOMAN SCORNED. She's really fun now. Dangerous. I always laugh when Constantine drinks the brew and collapses so abruptly.

Erin: "The Weird Sisters". My kids are just fascinated with this trio. I wonder if they still will be by the end of this three-parter or if like many fans, they will be disappointed?

They get turned into owls. But the Magus worries about giving up the source of his power. K doesn't care about that.

And Finella and Mary agree to take the book. I love these two. I think they'd make a totally kick-ass team. I doubt it would be commercial enough, but I'd love to do a spin-off show just with these two women. At any rate, there was the plan to include them as recurring characters in TimeDancer.

Tom has to leave his mother and his childhood behind. Now his role as the Guardian is a way for Katharine to make him accept the loss. It is the start of their relationship, though neither knows it. I watch this now, and I can't help thinking of the Anakin & Padma relationship and where that's destined to go.

AVALON

Back to the present. We see the impressive shores of Avalon. Very cool painting.

Bronx reacts. Guardian: "He's found the eggs..." And the music swells and two gargs and a garg beast appear on the cliff.

Now is that a cliff-hanger or what? What was your reaction?

Erin and Benny wanted "to see ther rest!" I told them they'd have to wait a week and we got a lot of protesting. Just what I was hoping for.

Anyway, that's my ramble. Where's yours?

Chapter VII: "Temptation"

[More rambles on individual episodes. As usual, I encourage you to post your responses here.]

Part two of our trio tryptich. Brooklyn looks pretty cool in this one. I have to admit, I didn't realize what a break-out star Brooklyn was back then. I mean I liked him, but I didn't yet realize how much he would really capture a huge chunk of fandom's imagination. (Of course, back then the show hadn't aired yet, so there wasn't any fandom.) But seeing this episode in hindsight, you can sure see how cool this guy was. Good-looking with the hair and the muscles and everything. Even the snout adds to the look.

And he's so sympathetic too. Yes, he gets "turned" by Demona. But he immediately realizes that what she's doing is wrong. He admits his mistake and tries to correct it. He's such a good guy. Later, of course, I'd recognize the star power and attempt to give him his own series: TIMEDANCER.

Back then, of course, I had really modeled the ensemble nature of the show on HILL STREET BLUES. Goliath was my Frank Furillo. Everyone would get their own stories, but Goliath carried the weight. So, although the tryptich was designed to deepen the characters of the trio, you can see that each episode also prominently features Goliath. THRILL: Lex & Goliath. TEMPTATION: Brooklyn & Goliath. DEADLY FORCE: Broadway & Goliath. (And later, LONG WAY TO MORNING: Hudson & Goliath.) Don't get me wrong, I don't regret this at all. I think those are all great stories, and without Goliath they would not have worked as written. But I think the design of them betrays a bit of insecurity. We weren't sure if the other characters could carry their own episodes alone. The nice thing about the tryptich (and LONG WAY) was that it proved to us what a strong ensemble of characters we had built.

Lex has some real attitude here: "You rode a horse once, does that mean you could build one from scratch."

The motorcycle is interesting. It was one of three toy driven elements we consciously put into the show. (The others were in "Her Brother's Keeper" and "Eye of the Storm".) It was a rare moment of Kenner and Disney being in semi-synch. And the toy actually looks like the motorcycle. But of course, what the hell were we going to do with a motorcycle? How could we make that an on-going element in the show. Sure Batman has a batmobile, but the garg-cycle just sounds silly. So we put it in, but Michael, Brynne, Frank and I are so subversive that we blow the thing up before the end of Act One. Kenner never said anything. I'm not sure if they ever saw the episode. (But we weren't being very good partners.) But what goes around comes around. I'll tell the flip side of this when I ramble on Keeper and Storm.

S&P required that Brooklyn wear a helmet when riding. That was fine with me, but I wanted to make an effort to make it organic. Brooklyn puts it on because it's "All part of the look." Helmets make it cooler. Thus helmets are cool. Thus kids will wear their helmets. Aren't we sneaky?

Also, Brooklyn loses yet another pair of sunglasses.

Morgan's back. But he litters. That always bugged me. Talk about setting a bad example.

And is that Margot Yale's actress sister on the television sitcom saying, "Who do you think you are... Elvis?" [Add laugh track here.]

CONTINUITY

"Kindred Spirits" - Brooklyn quotes Lex from Thrill and attempts to make the same kind of connection with the bikers that Lex attempted with the Pack. With similar results. Later, Demona refers to Lex's little adventure with the Pack. This was the moment when Michael Reaves and I decided to attempt to treat the series as episodic but sequential. The order of the episodes would matter. Yes, you should be able to enjoy any individual story... but viewing is enhanced when you see the shows in order. This was not an obvious decision. Most shows REQUIRE that episodes are airable in ANY ORDER. We had that requirement too, up to a point. But we wanted to add something more. To play with continuity. With evolving lives. This wasn't an issue in the pilot five parter. Of course, that had to air in order. And then there was Thrill. Just the first one we made after Awakening. That aired next. But we didn't think about it. But here, we had to decide. So we opted for an episodic but sequential series. (My favorite kind.) We referred to previous conversations. (Elisa's still pestering Goliath about the Xanatos-ticking clock.) And we laid pipe for future episodes, by having Demona rip a few spells out of the Grimorum. (At the time, I didn't even know what those spells were for. But I knew she had them. I knew we'd use them.) We had Demona admit she had lied about how she had survived to the present. Etc. Anyway, all this continuity would later bite us on the ass a bit. (I'll talk more about this when we get to "ENTER MACBETH", which forced us to slightly change our M.O. for season two.) But again, I have no regrets; I think it's one of the things that makes the show special.

Meanwhile, how did Demona know about the Pack & Lex? Although the pact with Xanatos clearly hasn't been broken yet (not till CITY OF STONE, obviously), she also doesn't exactly have free run of the castle. She has Brooklyn steal the book. Of course, she wants Brooklyn complicit. And it's hard to sneak around the castle, when the Gargoyles (at least think that they) are the proprieters. I just always wondered whether Demona might not have been following Lex & Goliath around throughout that entire Pack battle. Or whether, Xanatos just phoned her and told her. Obviously, the former is much more interesting.

ANIMATION

Another great looking episode that we didn't fully appreciate at the time. Lots of great little touches. I love when Demona casts her spell, and then closes the Grimorum with one last flash of magic. So cool. And, as I said, Brooklyn really looks great throughout.

But there are a couple things...

The bikers approach Brooklyn. They get very close, and he's not in shadow. But they don't notice he's a "monster" until he takes off his helmet. What?! The snout didn't give it away?! That scene continues to drive me nuts. I just hate how it was staged.

And when Elisa's lecturing Goliath she is wagging her index finger in his face. That's annoying enough. But worse, the finger seems to get longer (like Pinocchio's nose) the more she wags (or nags). It's sorta mesmerizing. In that scene, I can't see anything else.

CHARACTER

I love how Marina Sirtis' voice bristles when Brooklyn mentions Elisa to Demona. Demona/Marina forces herself to say that the Detective may be "The exception [to human evil] that proves the rule." It seems sincere, but I really hear the hatred underneath.

Elisa tries to talk Goliath into leaving again. This time, she's got an idea where he can go. (So although that seems to be a repeat of their conversation from THRILL, we actually advanced that plot too. Weren't we smart?)

[And yes, I realize that all these rambles sound incredibly arrogant and immodest. I'm sitting here praising me and my team's own work. But what can I tell you? I do really like it. And I figure you guys might still be interested in my -- totally biased -- observations.]

Anyway, I love how what Elisa's saying to a very close-minded Goliath plays right into what Brooklyn heard from Demona. Brooklyn tries to argue Elisa's point. Putting Elisa and Demona, ironically, on the same side. Kudos to Brynne and Michael. It's a great little scene. Of course it ends with Brooklyn and Goliath turning to stone mid-argument. Just like Lex & Goliath did in the previous episode. Frank came to me and warned me not to do that again. Twice in two episodes was enough. At least for a while.

I also love Goliath's lines about "half-truths that [Demona] has thoroughly embraced."

LITTLE TOUCHES

Goliath just loves saying "Joy-Ride". It seems so pleasant.

Lex's double take reactions to finding out the motorcycle was blown up.

Elisa's "Thanks, I think." reaction to Brooklyn saying that he knew that she at least was a worthwhile member of the human race. Brooklyn still isn't quite free of prejudice. A work in progress.

The DEAD BODY. I held my breath on that one. We've got a chalk outline. And a corpse in a body bag. I was sure S&P would balk. But Adrienne was great. She saw that it was important to the story. And since we didn't dwell on it or explain it, she figured little kids wouldn't get it and/or be traumatized. As you can see we had a great working relationship with S&P. I mean, a DEAD BODY! It still shocks me.

Did Demona pay that family to perform their little scene for Brooklyn? I didn't think so at the time. But now I'm suspicious.

Brooklyn has a perfectly innocent line about the Cloisters being a place like the "world we came from" or something like that. Meaning of course, the medieval time that they came from. Once this aired, I immediately start seeing e-mails claiming this as evidence that Gargoyles are from another planet. This misapprehension may be one of the reasons I so quickly got involved with fandom.

Did we cheat? Elisa solves Goliath's slave-spell problem by using the spell to unhex him. I love that little bit. But Michael Reaves and I had a long back & forth discussion where we debated whether we were cheating the audience. (I seem to recall that at different times he and I both came down on both sides of the argument.) We finally decided to go for it. And again, no regrets. I do think it worked. And we sort of both promised each other that we wouldn't pull that kind of thing again. (Airwalker, I think there's a mention of this in the City of Stone memo I sent you.)